Dolphin Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 here is something to make you giggle. You probably want to make sure the kids aren't around. There is nothing bad, but a lot of innuendo! Nicole :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 I saw that online the other day & thought it was hilarious. (I haven't read the book, but the SNL sketch is funny either way.) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 What is so good about these books? I read LOTS of fluff. Romance, paranormal, etc.... These have been at the top of I-store list forever. I picked one up in the bookstore to look at and the writing seemed atrocious (since I'm used to romance novels, that is saying something.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted May 9, 2012 Author Share Posted May 9, 2012 (edited) What is so good about these books? I read LOTS of fluff. Romance, paranormal, etc.... These have been at the top of I-store list forever. I picked one up in the bookstore to look at and the writing seemed atrocious (since I'm used to romance novels, that is saying something.) The writing is bad, and I would be surprised if the author visited the NW before writing. but, they are just so naughty.... ETA: Remember to mess up the words a little if mentioning anything. We don't want anything searchable and this has the possibility of going that way. Remember your teA,b00ks, and possibly wh*ps. Edited May 9, 2012 by Northwest_Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted May 10, 2012 Author Share Posted May 10, 2012 I am surprised, am I the only one here who has read 50 shades...? :blushing::blushing::blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 (edited) I am surprised, am I the only one here who has read 50 shades...? :blushing::blushing::blushing: Nope, I read it when she was writing it online. And then I bought the books at B&N when they came out in April. And then I finally got a Tab with the Kindle app, and I bought them for that, too. I don't like the story, or anything... :lol: The SNL skit was so funny. I loved it. I don't read them for the technical writing. I read them because I fell in love with the characters and their love story. Well, and the tea time wasn't too shabby, either! LOL Edited May 10, 2012 by mlbuchina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I had never heard of this book until your post. Now, I just read in our A.M. newspaper that it is being banned from public libraries since it is considered p*rnographic and poorly written. Hmmm, I WILL have to take a look at this book since there is enough controversy surrounding it that it made it in the newspaper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 It was no more poorly written than the Twilight saga. I heard they are making a movie. Maybe they will find a lead actress that doesn't blink 1000x per scene. Then that will make it a better movie as well!:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shannon in TN Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I'm reading the second one, now, and while it's not on track to be the next literary classic, it is fun and mindless - a perfect summer read for me. I've caught myself reading it until the wee hours of the morning. There was a news story on 20/20 a couple of weeks ago, the local talk radio host was discussing it yesterday, my circle of friends is starting to read through it - it's gotten quite popular in these parts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Well, and the tea time wasn't too shabby, either! LOL This is why I want to read it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 What is so good about these books? I read LOTS of fluff. Romance, paranormal, etc.... These have been at the top of I-store list forever. I picked one up in the bookstore to look at and the writing seemed atrocious (since I'm used to romance novels, that is saying something.) I tried to read the first one, but I couldn't get over the abundance of adjectives and adverbs. I wanted to read it with a pen so I could cross them all out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 OMG that was hilarious! "Look, a microphone." :lol: I haven't read it, and have no interest in reading it. It's not my style. My library system made international news by banning it, and I do think they were wrong to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I think it's hilarious that the main reason folks on this board haven't read it is because it's poorly written. And that's actually my reason, too! That book needs an editor BADLY. Also (as implied in the video posted) I wouldn't want the stranger next to me on the plane to see what I am reading. They might assume that I was ... um, interested in some mile-high activity. Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 OK, that was hilarious. Yes, I read the books and I found that it was all the parts of Bella & Edward's relationship that I disliked, magnified X100. The writing was terrible. I got all three as a Kindle bundle or I would have only read the first one. I heard a rumor that Ian Somerhalder is interested in the part of Christian. Now that might be worth seeing. Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakimberly Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I read half of the first one out of curiosity because so many people were talking about it. I have no problem with romance novels, but this was SO poorly written I had to stop. Her "down there"?? Is that supposed to be hot? It's so not. Anyway, I'm amazed at how many moms discuss the books at soccer games, loudly, in front of the dads!! I avoid the conversations and move along! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I've never heard of it, but the video was hilarious! That cheered me right up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 My best friend loaned me the books saying I HAD to read them (I had never heard of them). Now I am not a book snob at all. I really enjoy fluff and I loved Twilight. That being said, these books were painful to get through. The writing was terrible and I felt nothing for the characters. I must say that my dh chuckled when he realized what I was reading (since the book categorizes itself as er*tic on the back cover). I'm not even quite sure why they are so popular? I know they've been talked about on the today show and other such shows, but why??? Just because they are twilight fan fiction? I think there is quite a bit of twilight fan fiction out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I added them to my kindle because libraries were banning them. And now DH has them on his ipad since we share accounts and the random texts I am getting throughout the day are HILARIOUS. They are pretty badly written but let's face it... without the literary issue, no one would read these for any other reason than wanting to foray into soft porn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Haven't read it yet, but it's on my list! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted May 10, 2012 Author Share Posted May 10, 2012 Our book club decided to read it when we saw an article about it. What we all found fascinating was how much we did not know about teA, and the ways to have it. There where things in there that we had never heard of. At first we were scared to do internet searches to find out what these things were (no clue where it would take us) My friend figured out the safe way. we would go onto wikipedia and do a search. I still don't understand some of the things:blushing: Someone was asking about teA music yesterday, I think I would be more interested in a sound track to this book that a movie. It was a fun read, it has added about 20 things to my list of things that I will never do, but one or two to my list of things I might try:blushing:(...going to hide under a rock now) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna in Texas Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I thought it was worse than Twilight and I haven't forgiven my sister for telling me I had to read it (she's very hit or miss with recs, but so hyberbolic, I'm always tempted). I got through the first book, and the first couple of chapters in the second. I really didn't care about the characters at that point. As for it being erotica or whatever...I found one of the Sookie Stackhouse novels much hotter (maybe the 4th one? the one where Eric loses his memory) and The Black Dagger Brotherhood (well at least until they got stupid). There's also early Anne Rice, which would be what I thought these books were supposed to be, but weren't. At all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 I never read any of the Twilight books because my best friend told me I'd stroke out. :lol::lol::lol: I will say if I read one more time about this woman's, "inner Goddess rolling her eye," I am going to hunt down the author and poke him/her with a giant pitchfork under he/she falls dead to the ground. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted May 10, 2012 Share Posted May 10, 2012 Someone was asking about teA music yesterday, I think I would be more interested in a sound track to this book that a movie. ) Here are the soundtracks to the books: http://www.eljamesauthor.com/music/fifty-shades-of-grey-soundtrack For those who didn't care for the writing, and want something a little more "smart", try this one: http://www.amazon.com/Gabriels-Inferno-ebook/dp/B004X6T3U0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336691429&sr=8-1 Yes, it started out as Twi fanfiction. The author is a man, too. It is very good. Well, the fanfiction was good, I just got the book on my Kindle app, so I don't know how he changed it up for printing. About to find out! On a completely separate topic, how do you make the links be just a word, like "here", instead of the long web address? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 (edited) Here are the soundtracks to the books: http://www.eljamesauthor.com/music/fifty-shades-of-grey-soundtrack For those who didn't care for the writing, and want something a little more "smart", try this one: http://www.amazon.com/Gabriels-Inferno-ebook/dp/B004X6T3U0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1336691429&sr=8-1 Yes, it started out as Twi fanfiction. The author is a man, too. It is very good. Well, the fanfiction was good, I just got the book on my Kindle app, so I don't know how he changed it up for printing. About to find out! On a completely separate topic, how do you make the links be just a word, like "here", instead of the long web address? To make here a link. type here and highlight it. Then go to the toolbar (right above the post) and click on the globe with a sideways paper clip. Paste the web address there and click ok. Edited May 19, 2012 by Northwest_Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I never read any of the Twilight books because my best friend told me I'd stroke out. :lol::lol::lol: I will say if I read one more time about this woman's, "inner Goddess rolling her eye," I am going to hunt down the author and poke him/her with a giant pitchfork under he/she falls dead to the ground. :lol: I have not read it. I was going to at the suggestion from a friend who loved it but when I read the amazon.com reviews I stumbled across this: And oh, the repetition...and the repetition...and the repetition. I'm convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap"). And this is only part one of a trilogy... :lol: I knew then that I would not be reading this book. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Ok. I have heard so much about this book, now I have to read it.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Our book club decided to read it when we saw an article about it. What we all found fascinating was how much we did not know about teA, and the ways to have it. There where things in there that we had never heard of. At first we were scared to do internet searches to find out what these things were (no clue where it would take us) My friend figured out the safe way. we would go onto wikipedia and do a search. I still don't understand some of the things:blushing: You know, this happens to me all. the. time. and it is such a tossup. Do I want to know what people are talking about? Or, do I want to commit google seppuku? I haven't read them. I like fanfic. I like smutty fan fic. But, I do not like this particular flavor of smut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I've never heard of the book, but I love the rubber glove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I'd heard of them but had no idea what the big deal was. I took a few days off work for the sole purpose of lying around and doing a whole lot of nothing, except reading some trashy books, drinking wine and taking lots of naps, so I downloaded this trilogy. They really are just about the most poorly written things I've ever read, but I read them all in those couple of days off work. I found myself invested in the characters, surprisingly, and the scenes that are meant to get you going...well...they did, for the first couple of books. Because I read them is such quick succession I was kind of bored with those scenes by the third one! But the thing that I absolutely hated more than anything were the words she chose for the two main characters to use in conversation. No 27 and 21 year old people in the world talk like that "Come, my darling....blah blah blah..." What? No. Oh....and the fact that she always referred to her vagi**a as her "s&x". Wow, did that bug me. Not that she should use the V word when speaking erotically but her "s&x"? Eww.. All that said, I obviously enjoyed the mindless reading enough to go through all of them, and I'll see the movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LillyMama Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 It was no more poorly written than the Twilight saga. I heard they are making a movie. Maybe they will find a lead actress that doesn't blink 1000x per scene. Then that will make it a better movie as well!:tongue_smilie: The funny thing, from what I've heard, is that it was written as Fan Fiction for the Twilight characters. Those are supposed to be Bella and Edward, or whatever their names are. The author's own stupefecation at their popularity is humorous to me- I read an article where she was quoted as saying, "I don't know why people like them, I don't even write well!" or something to that point. I haven't read them, just read about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 I finished them!!! Woot! I'm done. Three books in 4 days. Now I need a shower and some REAL literature. :lol: I will say that they are consistently bad all the way to the end. I think the "inner Goddess" and the bitten lower lip are probably on the last page before the epilogue. I feel like I just survived a mental marathon and the world seems so much more lovely for having finished them. I'm going to reread some Harry Potter and bring my brain back beofre delving back into Moby Dick. Titilating? In some places, yes. But it's wasn't worth slogging through the books to get to those spots. I've started books and not been able to stop and darn the world around me. This was reading so that they could be over and done with, like an economics text book smattered with random soft porn. Christian punishes the readers more than Ana ever was. Now I have to figure out what to do with them on my kindle since you can never really delete anything. Archive them? Make a category - "%$!%$# I wish I didn't read?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 You can erase books from your Kindle! You have to do it from the Amazon website. Go to Your Account, then go to Manage Your Kindle. You'll see a list of all your books. On the right-hand side of the screen, put your cursor over Actions and then press Delete From Library. I just yesterday got rid of several books that were pretty worthless. One of them had seemed interesting on its webpage, but after I bought it I realized there was profanity in every sentence. I wish authors would learn to write without resorting to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Thanks Rebecca! I don't know if I'm going to delete them or keep them for funny quotes to text DH with throughout the day. We've been laughng for the past 2 hours... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Michele,I will go check out the links. To make here a link. type here and highlight it. Then go to the toolbar (right above the post) and click on the globe with a sideways paper clip. Paste the web address there and click ok. Nicole Oh, thanks! I will try that next time I try to post a link. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 OMG that was hilarious! "Look, a microphone." :lol: I haven't read it, and have no interest in reading it. It's not my style. My library system made international news by banning it, and I do think they were wrong to do that. But think how many people in your town may now discover you have a library... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 :lol: I have not read it. I was going to at the suggestion from a friend who loved it but when I read the amazon.com reviews I stumbled across this: And oh, the repetition...and the repetition...and the repetition. I'm convinced the author has a computer macro that she hits to insert one of her limited repertoire of facial expressions whenever she needs one. According to my Kindle search function, characters roll their eyes 41 times, Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap"). And this is only part one of a trilogy... :lol: I knew then that I would not be reading this book. . Maybe the writing could have benefited from the shades of the title? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted May 12, 2012 Share Posted May 12, 2012 Maybe the writing could have benefited from the shades of the title? Nothing could have saved this writng. Not trillion shades of gray... :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted May 12, 2012 Author Share Posted May 12, 2012 Nothing could have saved this writng. Not trillion shades of gray... :lol: The thing that drove me crazy was that the kept getting on THE I-5, not that they got onto I-5... ...and that at the beginning she got on THE I-5 toward Portland to go to Seattle from Vancouver. Why would you go from Washington state south to Oregon to go North to Seattle..... ...and all the springing.... I LOVE the video though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 ...and that at the beginning she got on THE I-5 toward Portland to go to Seattle from Vancouver. \ BC? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna in Texas Posted May 13, 2012 Share Posted May 13, 2012 This is hilarious. There's language. is pretty funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 This is hilarious. There's language. is pretty funny. Funny! I admit, I enjoyed the books for what they were, and did get into the characters. :blush: :lol: And I blush every time I hear someone say vanilla. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 I had never heard of this book until your post. Now, I just read in our A.M. newspaper that it is being banned from public libraries since it is considered p*rnographic and poorly written. Hmmm, I WILL have to take a look at this book since there is enough controversy surrounding it that it made it in the newspaper. Hmmm, that makes me wonder if it would have been acceptable if it was well written p@rnography. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 That was funny. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeannpal Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Is the main character (male) marrried? Although I might be able to get through the nasty bits, but I don't care for books that promote adultery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) That was some kind of product placement! lol I have not read the book, but have heard enough about the book to get it. Wow, I really love Ellen. :) Edited June 2, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joyfulhomeschooler Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Is the main character (male) marrried? Although I might be able to get through the nasty bits, but I don't care for books that promote adultery. No, that was my holdback as well. Just finished the first one and he isn't married. Although, I don't know if I will be reading the rest as I'm having a hard time with the lanuguage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 The Ellen sketch had me in stitches. "Oh, you shouldn't do that with a spatula!" :lol::lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 OMG. I just read this. Her sub conscience and her inner goddess are MAIN CHARACTERS. :lol: And your links! :lol: I know I'm late to the party, but I didn't have time to read back in April when you orignally discussed this. It's sooooo bad in so many ways. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 Watch Gilbert Gottfried on Youtube read it. It was a hoot. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted June 27, 2012 Share Posted June 27, 2012 That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time! Thanks for that!! :lol: And I'll admit, I've read the books once or twice..... or maybe it's 5 or 6 times. I've lost count. :lol: Honestly I do love the love story between them and how he evolves. The other stuff is just a bonus. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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