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Does anyone not regret pulling kids out early?


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Just noticed my title should have been : Does anyone not regret leaving their kids in for the remainder of the year. Ugh!

 

Obviously, I regret in some regards ever putting the kids back in school. I do see good in that they now WANT to be homeschooled, where as before they were longing for their old PS. I have talked with them at length and they do understand that what they missed, that 1st-3rd grade is pretty much a honeymoon phase of school. My olders are coming to terms with the fact that they prefer homeschooling over school in general.

 

We have already decided they will not be continuing at this school (or any) for the future (might be reconsidered at upper high school, but not sooner).

 

Dh wants them to finish the year, I am not as sure. I am reading over and over about how many regret making them finish out the year. Anyone not regret this? I am the most concerned about my 4th and 5th graders. My 1st grader is still a bit insulated although even he is commenting on the cussing used my his fellow 1st graders. :001_huh:

 

We do have tears. My kids are crying in the evenings and mornings about having to go to school. Some of this is stress over the tests they have had to take this week and the rest is stress over the situation with their peers.

 

Here's the deal. The teachers and administration are being very proactive. The Principal was even on the kids bus yesterday, because there have been problems with a couple 2nd graders. Dd struggles with a specific boy and when I asked her yesterday how he treated her, she said there wasn't any issues, because he spent the day in the Principal's office.

 

What would you do? Why? They are not in a dangerous situation, but they are miserable.

Edited by simka2
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Monday was my 4th graders first day of homeschool and today was my Kindergarteners first day of homeschool. I pulled my oldest out for issues similar to what you have going on with your children (among others). While I am only in my first week, I can tell you that I do not regret it. Because I am new to homeschooling, I am sort of relieved to have two kids to start out with before all four start at the end of this school year.

What are your DH reasons for wanting them to finish the school year?

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What are the reasons you and/or dh have to think that finishing out the year is necessary?

 

:iagree: What does he hope they will learn by finishing? How to commit and finish? How to not quit? Giving admin time to make it right?

 

Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on. In the immortal wisdom of Kenny Rogers, sometimes you have to know when to hold and when to fold. :tongue_smilie:

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I say pull 'em. Childhood is too short to spend crying every morning and night over school.

 

I made that decision for my second-eldest, who is now 13. He was in first grade in a private school. The school people were wonderful and nothing truly horrible was happening to him, but he missed me and couldn't get the hang of school life. I was still trying to decide whether to make him stick it out or bring him home when one night at bedtime he blurted out, "I hate that school and I hate you for making me go."

 

He didn't go back the next day. DH went to get his things and thank the teacher for her kindness, and that was the end of ds#2's school career.

 

I don't regret it for a second. I only regret that he had to explain it to me at 6 years old. I should have seen that my happy and attached little boy was becoming actually depressed and beginning to lose his trust in me.

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What are the reasons you and/or dh have to think that finishing out the year is necessary?

 

:iagree: What does he hope they will learn by finishing? How to commit and finish? How to not quit? Giving admin time to make it right?

 

Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on. In the immortal wisdom of Kenny Rogers, sometimes you have to know when to hold and when to fold. :tongue_smilie:

 

I think it is that we commited and are going to see this through. I think he does not want the kids to learn that when the going gets rough, you run away. Please do not think my dh is some macho insensitive guy. He is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, but he is STEADY.

 

Because the situation seems a bit borderline (not in danger, but not happy) he feels it is okay to push through to the natural break of summer. I think he has also had to deal with some comments from people who know us about how "short lived" the kids PS experience was. Basically, we are not giving it a fair shake. Even though we both know they are not going back.

 

There is nothing the admin could do to change this. The admin is not the problem. The peer group and constant testing are bigger factors.

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:iagree: What does he hope they will learn by finishing? How to commit and finish? How to not quit? Giving admin time to make it right?

 

Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on. In the immortal wisdom of Kenny Rogers, sometimes you have to know when to hold and when to fold. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree: I do regret making my kids finish off the year when they were in ps. I left them in and quit my daytime job in June, but given how poorly they were doing in school and that I already knew I was quitting that day job and was already working a different one I should have quit the day one sooner and pulled them. We had more serious issues present themselves by leaving them in. I can't help but wonder if I had pulled ds out 3 months earlier if he would not have ended up needing antidepressants for suicidal thoughts at age 7.

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I think it is that we commited and are going to see this through. I think he does not want the kids to learn that when the going gets rough, you run away. Please do not think my dh is some macho insensitive guy. He is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, but he is STEADY.

 

With all due respect to your sweet Mr. Simka, he's crazy. :D

 

We're talking about young children, not adults. And for goodness' sake, don't we have that option as adults? Do we look for new jobs when the ones we have make us hate living? Change churches? Drop out of social groups when we discover that they weren't what we thought they were? And we're adults. Theoretically we have the wherewithal to handle those kinds of things...but do our children?

 

It is not "running away." It's evaluating a situation and deciding that it isn't what was hoped for, and getting out.

 

I say get 'em out. You're showing them that you love them and support them and are sensitive to their emotional needs.

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I think it is that we commited and are going to see this through. I think he does not want the kids to learn that when the going gets rough, you run away. Please do not think my dh is some macho insensitive guy. He is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, but he is STEADY.

 

Because the situation seems a bit borderline (not in danger, but not happy) he feels it is okay to push through to the natural break of summer. I think he has also had to deal with some comments from people who know us about how "short lived" the kids PS experience was. Basically, we are not giving it a fair shake. Even though we both know they are not going back.

 

There is nothing the admin could do to change this. The admin is not the problem. The peer group and constant testing are bigger factors.

 

Sounds like my own experience. My DS did Young 5s and 2 months of kindergarten in a charter school before I pulled him out at the end of October for academic and safety reasons. I then HSed him for the next 2 years. Last year my DD really wanted to try out school, so we let her goto our local public school because they offered half day kindergarten. I wanted to pull her after a few months but my DH insisted she finish the year because she was doing fine. At the time it was really hard for me to let her finish the year, but I'm glad she did.

 

So this year DS started 3rd grade and DD started 1st grade at the charter school that DS went to before. After a month I knew it was the wrong thing for the kids. But DH wanted them to finish out the year. It was HORRIBLE! Every day the kids whined, cried, they weren't learning anything, the kids were horrible, every time I volunteered in their classrooms I was shocked at what I saw going on. But DH still wanted them to finish the year. A week before Christmas I had a breakdown, something, I don't know, but DS was freaking out about his homework and how he wasn't going to ever succeed and be good enough (something entirely new for him), DD was being a total brat and acting like the really bad girls in her class, and I just flipped out. I was doing dishes, I threw the dish in my hand down, yelled "I'm done!" and locked myself in my room and was crying, couldn't even catch my breath, horrible. DH still wasn't convinced we should pull him.

 

3 days into Christmas break, the kids were completely transformed back into MY kids, not these horrible imposter brats. DH finally saw what I was seeing and told me that they weren't going back after break. To buy what I needed and that we were done with school. We didn't even clean out their desks. I went in to fill out the withdrawal form and that was that.

 

So I've obviously done it both ways. Pulled them mid year and had them stick it out. I think the key to deciding which way to go is how your kids are doing. If your kids are doing fine, I'd leave them in. If they are really struggling emotionally, if their behavior at home is terrible, if during spring break you notice they are transformed back into normal little kids, I'd pull them immediately.

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You might try this...go get the school calendar, count up the remaining days until summer break. Count the actual HOURS they'll be in attendance & learning. (Subtract testing days, conferences, do the actual hours count.)

 

Let's say you come up with 120 hours total.

 

Now go back and count up the hours you could achieve at home, say that comes by nearly triple what the school is offering.

 

Show DH choice A: 120 hours of misery for your children

 

or

 

Choice B, 360 Hours of one on one customized learning in a good atmosphere.

 

He may only be seeing a bird eyes view of the situation vs. the grand total.

 

Give him another view of it.

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We went ahead and pulled our girls early last year. We decided around December to definitely start homeschool in 8th grade. I thought I needed more time to research curriculum and get my head around the idea of homeschooling. We said we would stick it out for the rest of 7th but would reevaluate if the social/teacher issues deteriorated further.

 

Well, it went from bad to worse. By midway through the 3rd quarter we decided to go ahead and skip the 4th quarter of public school and start at home early. I don't know whether we had some "lame duck" or "short-timers" syndrome but we just could not see the point of sticking it out. The 4th quarter in our public schools are spent reviewing for end of grade tests in early May and then lots of blow-off time until June. So really, what's the point.

 

I don't regret it at all. We eased into homeschooling, got the kids out of a not so pleasant environment and they had probably more actually schooling in the last month of "school" than their public school peers.

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Sounds like my own experience. My DS did Young 5s and 2 months of kindergarten in a charter school before I pulled him out at the end of October for academic and safety reasons. I then HSed him for the next 2 years. Last year my DD really wanted to try out school, so we let her goto our local public school because they offered half day kindergarten. I wanted to pull her after a few months but my DH insisted she finish the year because she was doing fine. At the time it was really hard for me to let her finish the year, but I'm glad she did.

 

So this year DS started 3rd grade and DD started 1st grade at the charter school that DS went to before. After a month I knew it was the wrong thing for the kids. But DH wanted them to finish out the year. It was HORRIBLE! Every day the kids whined, cried, they weren't learning anything, the kids were horrible, every time I volunteered in their classrooms I was shocked at what I saw going on. But DH still wanted them to finish the year. A week before Christmas I had a breakdown, something, I don't know, but DS was freaking out about his homework and how he wasn't going to ever succeed and be good enough (something entirely new for him), DD was being a total brat and acting like the really bad girls in her class, and I just flipped out. I was doing dishes, I threw the dish in my hand down, yelled "I'm done!" and locked myself in my room and was crying, couldn't even catch my breath, horrible. DH still wasn't convinced we should pull him.

 

3 days into Christmas break, the kids were completely transformed back into MY kids, not these horrible imposter brats. DH finally saw what I was seeing and told me that they weren't going back after break. To buy what I needed and that we were done with school. We didn't even clean out their desks. I went in to fill out the withdrawal form and that was that.

 

So I've obviously done it both ways. Pulled them mid year and had them stick it out. I think the key to deciding which way to go is how your kids are doing. If your kids are doing fine, I'd leave them in. If they are really struggling emotionally, if their behavior at home is terrible, if during spring break you notice they are transformed back into normal little kids, I'd pull them immediately.

 

First off, I am sitting here crying as I read this. Ugh. I feel so foolish. You are describing exactly what we are going through.

 

Ds9 told me yesterday that he was really scared to take the STAAR test on Fri, he knew he wouldn't pass and his teacher told him that if they didn't pass they would be held back. This isn't true as the Principal and I discussed this very thing, but no matter what I said, he is convinced he is a failure.

 

Spring break is next week. I really hope it goes well and maybe that will influence dh a bit. We have a marriage where I could fight for it and win, but I would much rather have his upfront support.

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I say pull 'em. Childhood is too short to spend crying every morning and night over school.

 

:iagree: And I agree with what the others have said. While I can see where your DH is coming from, here is what I would tell my own DH in this scenario:

 

There are many opportunities in life to show kids how to be steady. In this case, IMO, we gave it a try, it was not the situation we'd all hoped it would be, not a good fit, not a good outcome. Now is the time to get them into the right fit, the right situation.

 

We haven't made a commitment to anyone, and no one is relying on us. There's no minimum length of time we agreed to some third party to give school a chance. No team will lose the playoffs or be eliminated from competition if our kids aren't participating. Our commitment is to our kids, to give them the best education/situation we can. Keeping them in school for a relatively arbitrary reason is, IMO, not upholding that commitment to them.

 

I made that decision for my second-eldest, who is now 13. He was in first grade in a private school. The school people were wonderful and nothing truly horrible was happening to him, but he missed me and couldn't get the hang of school life. I was still trying to decide whether to make him stick it out or bring him home when one night at bedtime he blurted out, "I hate that school and I hate you for making me go."

 

He didn't go back the next day. DH went to get his things and thank the teacher for her kindness, and that was the end of ds#2's school career.

 

I don't regret it for a second. I only regret that he had to explain it to me at 6 years old. I should have seen that my happy and attached little boy was becoming actually depressed and beginning to lose his trust in me.

 

Oh Tibbie. This made me burst into tears right here on the couch :(

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We pulled out DS(7) out of first grade at the end of Feb. The only thing I regret is not pushing more to have a transition time before starting HS. The transition was pretty seamless, but I really wish I had take then time to build up on subject areas over the course of weeks rather than days. It can be overwhelming, but I still have no regrets.

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Simka, first off: :grouphug:.

 

You've gotten some great advice so far. I'd like to comment about the standardized testing. It's an incredibly stressful time in the schools for both the teachers & the students. I keep telling my kids to do the best they can and the scores don't really matter. Here in CO, there's no "holding back" for insufficient scores. They're still stressed about it!

 

How much longer will your kids be testing? Maybe once that's over, things will be a little smoother? I don't know, that may not matter.

 

As far as teaching the kids to stick it out in a difficult situation, I think there's a million other ways to teach kids that lesson. It's also important to teach the kids to find an alternative solution if the one they're in is detrimental to their physical, emotional or spiritual well-being. That's what adults do when they're in a bad work situation, in an abusive marriage, etc. That's not considered "running away".

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Just to amuse myself, I counted/contrasted days of PS vs. HS.

 

PS: 37 Days (this reflects subtraction for testing, et. al)

HS: 91 Days of opportunity

 

When I was afterschooling, I had to manipulate those figures to try to slide things in they weren't covering in PS.

 

So I hope you find some consolation in my quick math. If you stay, the clock is super short.

 

The other thing is to see it as this: (considering the average school day is around 5.5 hours and even though we know that's not all pure instructional time) it works out like this:

 

37 days x 5.5= 203.5 Hours

 

And if you took the 91 days of opportunity and even sliced it in half to be completely generous and did a schedule of say, 6 hours even..9 a.m. to 3 p.m....you'd come out like this:

 

45.5 x 6= 273 Hours

 

So, in review and being ridiculous short cutting HS days...

 

PS=37 days of grief with 204 hours left

HS=46 days of home with 273 hours open

 

You'd just have to bust out your calendar and work some figures. Men are generally very logical and can make decisions when given the analysis behind the emotion. They are problem solvers at heart. :grouphug:

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It's also important to teach the kids to find an alternative solution if the one they're in is detrimental to their physical, emotional or spiritual well-being. That's what adults do when they're in a bad work situation, in an abusive marriage, etc. That's not considered "running away".

 

What an excellent point! :iagree: again.

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Personally, I see absolutely no reason to continue in school if you've made the decision to homeschool. It's not like high school where dropping out in the middle of a course messes with a high school credit. What could possibly happen in the rest of the school year that is so important that they stay? Is your DH trying to teach them a lesson or prove a point? It seems to me they've already learned that lesson. At this point, I would tell them you've made the decision to homeschool and they cannot later whine, complain, or beg to go back to school. Realistically, you'll probably hear their argument again later when they've decided they are missing out again and this current school experience is pushed back into the dark recesses of their minds. :D

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Obviously, I regret in some regards ever putting the kids back in school. I do see good in that they now WANT to be homeschooled, where as before they were longing for their old PS. I have talked with them at length and they do understand that what they missed, that 1st-3rd grade is pretty much a honeymoon phase of school. My olders are coming to terms with the fact that they prefer homeschooling over school in general.

 

We have already decided they will not be continuing at this school (or any) for the future (might be reconsidered at upper high school, but not sooner).

 

Dh wants them to finish the year, I am not as sure. I am reading over and over about how many regret making them finish out the year. Anyone not regret this? I am the most concerned about my 4th and 5th graders. My 1st grader is still a bit insulated although even he is commenting on the cussing used my his fellow 1st graders. :001_huh:

 

We do have tears. My kids are crying in the evenings and mornings about having to go to school. Some of this is stress over the tests they have had to take this week and the rest is stress over the situation with their peers.

 

Here's the deal. The teachers and administration are being very proactive. The Principal was even on the kids bus yesterday, because there have been problems with a couple 2nd graders. Dd struggles with a specific boy and when I asked her yesterday how he treated her, she said there wasn't any issues, because he spent the day in the Principal's office.

 

What would you do? Why? They are not in a dangerous situation, but they are miserable.

When the children are that young, there is no necessity to finish the year. The only time that is really applicable is in high school if the child is finishing AP classes or wants to get other credits you cannot easily supply at home. Then it is a consideration. Before High school...not relevant at all.

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Guest submarines

:grouphug: Here's another perspective. Let's say the testing phase is over, your children get more and more used to the school, make friends, and maybe even good friends. Along the way they pick up some bad (but not horrible) habits, are not as interested in learning, come to the conclusion that their parents didn't care that much about their feelings, and their peers become more important to them than their parents. (Hold on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld would be a great read for your DH).

 

By the end of the year they might not want to homeschool anymore. After the summer break, they might be more focused on missing their friends, than on those early crying days. Considering the school situation (the way you described), would you be happy for them to continue to attend?

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Thanks everyone! I went and visited our tiny library and was very impressed. Had a discussion with the librarian about ILL and other amenities offered by the library. The library is within walking distance of our house and I feel very hopeful.

 

I have asked dh to read this thread and he is going to drive the kids home from church so he can have some one on one discussions with them.

 

We shall see.

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I think it is that we commited and are going to see this through. I think he does not want the kids to learn that when the going gets rough, you run away. Please do not think my dh is some macho insensitive guy. He is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, but he is STEADY.

 

Because the situation seems a bit borderline (not in danger, but not happy) he feels it is okay to push through to the natural break of summer. I think he has also had to deal with some comments from people who know us about how "short lived" the kids PS experience was. Basically, we are not giving it a fair shake. Even though we both know they are not going back.

 

There is nothing the admin could do to change this. The admin is not the problem. The peer group and constant testing are bigger factors.

 

First off, I am sitting here crying as I read this. Ugh. I feel so foolish. You are describing exactly what we are going through.

 

Ds9 told me yesterday that he was really scared to take the STAAR test on Fri, he knew he wouldn't pass and his teacher told him that if they didn't pass they would be held back. This isn't true as the Principal and I discussed this very thing, but no matter what I said, he is convinced he is a failure.

 

Spring break is next week. I really hope it goes well and maybe that will influence dh a bit. We have a marriage where I could fight for it and win, but I would much rather have his upfront support.

 

Thanks everyone! I went and visited our tiny library and was very impressed. Had a discussion with the librarian about ILL and other amenities offered by the library. The library is within walking distance of our house and I feel very hopeful.

 

I have asked dh to read this thread and he is going to drive the kids home from church so he can have some one on one discussions with them.

 

We shall see.

 

Mr. S is a smart man.

 

I see the point about the testing stress. That's a borderline issue, sort of. You don't want to create the environment where your dc aren't challenged, even when they are scared. Pulling back because of fear alone can create walls that are hard to break down.

 

I agree with the one on one discussions. You've had a lot of change in your lives, it can be hard to determine what is retreating and what is reshaping.

 

I also think you want to avoid the homeschool hokey-pokey, pull them out, put them back into school etc.

 

:grouphug: I'm sure you will both make the decision that is right for your family.

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Mr. S is a smart man.

 

I see the point about the testing stress. That's a borderline issue, sort of. You don't want to create the environment where your dc aren't challenged, even when they are scared. Pulling back because of fear alone can create walls that are hard to break down.

 

I agree with the one on one discussions. You've had a lot of change in your lives, it can be hard to determine what is retreating and what is reshaping.

 

I also think you want to avoid the homeschool hokey-pokey, pull them out, put them back into school etc.

:grouphug: I'm sure you will both make the decision that is right for your family.

Exactly! .....and I am feeling a little ashamed at the moment. :o

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If it were me, my first reaction would probably be to finish out the year too, because I like clear, tidy endings. That being said -- if my children were at risk emotionally or physically, I'd pull them out in a heartbeat. Also, you don't have to deal with the credit issue at that age. They don't need elementary school transcripts to go to college! And someone else made a good point: as long as they are so willing to homeschool now, that is definitely an advantage. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your family.

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I, too, beleive that one must fulfill his/her obligations. You don't drop off a team after you make it just because you don't get a lot of playing time. You stay in the play even if you are just in one scene.

 

However this is EDUCATION. The lesson to be learned by going to school is TO LEARN! Your kids will learn to tough it up in social situations. This is about their education.

 

You are not running away. You are picking a viable option.

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I think it is that we commited and are going to see this through. I think he does not want the kids to learn that when the going gets rough, you run away. Please do not think my dh is some macho insensitive guy. He is very sweet, kind, and sensitive, but he is STEADY.

 

Because the situation seems a bit borderline (not in danger, but not happy) he feels it is okay to push through to the natural break of summer. I think he has also had to deal with some comments from people who know us about how "short lived" the kids PS experience was. Basically, we are not giving it a fair shake. Even though we both know they are not going back.

 

There is nothing the admin could do to change this. The admin is not the problem. The peer group and constant testing are bigger factors.

 

I'd pull them. I didn't have very good school experiences and didn't learn anything constructive by them. I wish my parents had been willing to homeschool - my childhood might have been a much happier experience for me. Now contrasting that with my kids - I love that they have such a different experience and have wonderful memories to look back on. I don't think they're missing anything by not experiencing PS.

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I've written this twice and deleted it twice, so now I'm going to grow some hair on my chest and push "post" this time...lol

 

On the issue of testing. Testing for academic regurgitation is one thing. During these early years, it is of very little value all things considered.

 

Testing and teaching that which cannot be measured is another.

 

This door above swings both ways in a child's life, and in a parental sense.

 

I could really go on a rant here, but I want to briefly touch on this because it's important and is a cornerstone of my way of thinking....

 

If you parked it mentally for a minute and really focus hard on obligation, ask yourself just who's obligation you are trying to fulfill and why. Once you have that answer within yourself, the path is a little more clear.

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I've written this twice and deleted it twice, so now I'm going to grow some hair on my chest and push "post" this time...lol

 

On the issue of testing. Testing for academic regurgitation is one thing. During these early years, it is of very little value all things considered.

 

Testing and teaching that which cannot be measured is another.

 

This door above swings both ways in a child's life, and in a parental sense.

 

I could really go on a rant here, but I want to briefly touch on this because it's important and is a cornerstone of my way of thinking....

 

If you parked it mentally for a minute and really focus hard on obligation, ask yourself just who's obligation you are trying to fulfill and why. Once you have that answer within yourself, the path is a little more clear.

 

 

More please...and feel free to pm me. I am trying to wrap my brain around what you are saying.

Especially the bolded. I am very interested. :D

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With all due respect to your sweet Mr. Simka, he's crazy. :D

 

We're talking about young children, not adults. And for goodness' sake, don't we have that option as adults? Do we look for new jobs when the ones we have make us hate living? Change churches? Drop out of social groups when we discover that they weren't what we thought they were? And we're adults. Theoretically we have the wherewithal to handle those kinds of things...but do our children?

 

It is not "running away." It's evaluating a situation and deciding that it isn't what was hoped for, and getting out.

 

I say get 'em out. You're showing them that you love them and support them and are sensitive to their emotional needs.

 

:iagree:

Excellent post.

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I am relieved to see this thread Simka. I was extremely jealous of your apparent PS success.

If it were me, my first reaction would probably be to finish out the year too, because I like clear, tidy endings. That being said -- if my children were at risk emotionally or physically, I'd pull them out in a heartbeat. Also, you don't have to deal with the credit issue at that age. They don't need elementary school transcripts to go to college! And someone else made a good point: as long as they are so willing to homeschool now, that is definitely an advantage. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for your family.
This makes me think maybe making them finish the curriculum they started with the school?
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Just as a follow up, I sent this link on to Siminka..

 

http://www.societyforclassicallearning.org/index.php/resources/media/15-2011-conference-recordings

 

The one on Analytical Learning, the opening moments describe what I'm driving at. Kern says it so much better than I ever could, it'd take me a diatribe of 3 weeks to express what is in there.

 

Every morning since I've heard that, I sit and mediate on the question:

 

"Why are you doing this?"

 

I cannot tell you how humbled I am at what I discover within myself and my motivations by trying to answer that question honestly.

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Just as a follow up, I sent this link on to Siminka..

 

http://www.societyforclassicallearning.org/index.php/resources/media/15-2011-conference-recordings

 

The one on Analytical Learning, the opening moments describe what I'm driving at. Kern says it so much better than I ever could, it'd take me a diatribe of 3 weeks to express what is in there.

 

Every morning since I've heard that, I sit and mediate on the question:

 

"Why are you doing this?"

 

I cannot tell you how humbled I am at what I discover within myself and my motivations by trying to answer that question honestly.

 

OT, but thank you for sharing that link! There are some fascinating topics there!

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Pull 'em.

I wish I had when my son was in a bad situation, just about this time of year, in 1st grade. I thought I had to "see it through." Bah.

There was so much more to be UNdone by leaving him in there.

 

:iagree: -- this was our experience as well. I spent almost an entire year UNdoing...

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I am in this situation right now. I have decided to leave them in school until June. My reasoning is that I know I have to feel super-organized to begin and feel a bit odd that I've only done a few afterschooling activities this year after homeschooling for 4 years. So my plan is to revamp everything, figure out a new pattern for teaching several at a time for some subjects, and re-read a lot of the philosophical things. Then, we will use summer as a natural break (I originally would homeschool though June, take July and Aug off and start again in September.)

 

We have the additional issue of moving to an unknown new location (we're renting and need a bigger house, so it can be hard in our area), a baby due at the end of July, and a wedding half my family is standing up for in various positions at the beginning of August.

 

So for me, even though my 4th and 5th are fairly miserable (my 2nd and K are okay, but think a lot of time gets wasted :lol:) we are going to stick it out.

 

I had to make a list of pros and cons for staying or pulling and went with the data even though I would have preferred to pull them. It's only March, April, and May though, so I think three months wont be too annoying when they know they'll be able to stay home next year.

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Just as a follow up, I sent this link on to Siminka..

 

http://www.societyforclassicallearning.org/index.php/resources/media/15-2011-conference-recordings

 

The one on Analytical Learning, the opening moments describe what I'm driving at. Kern says it so much better than I ever could, it'd take me a diatribe of 3 weeks to express what is in there.

 

Every morning since I've heard that, I sit and mediate on the question:

 

"Why are you doing this?"

 

I cannot tell you how humbled I am at what I discover within myself and my motivations by trying to answer that question honestly.

 

Thanks so much for giving us this link.

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I think you should pull them out of school ASAP.

 

I pulled my 5th grader out of school and started homeschooling him November 1, 2011, and I don't regret it one bit. There were issues with his mainstream teacher and bullying.

 

Originally, I planned on letting my son go to school until winter break, then I changed it to Thanksgiving break, and finally DH and I decided we needed to pull him out after the Halloween party. He didn't get the chance to clean out his desk, but that's okay.

 

If I had to do it all over, I wish I had never sent him to school in the first place, but I definitely do NOT regret pulling him out of school before the year was up. He struggled at school but is thriving at home. :)

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If your kids are telling you negative things about the peer situation, and even crying about it, I would pull them ASAP, absolutely. Kids rarely tell all - it's a rare kid who isn't mortified at the thought of re-telling an embarassing incident.

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Thanks for all the responses! It is funny after reading them and talking more with dh, who is now fine with tomorrow being their last day, I feel sad.

 

My youngest has made a special friend and is really going to miss him. He is not going to miss being told to "F*ck off" or hearing SOB right and left, but he is going to miss this little boy.

 

I sent a note to his mom today asking if we can get the boys together over spring break, which is when I will tell her that he is not going back. I just feel bad. :confused:

 

I stayed up last night way over thinking everything. Role playing conversations with teachers or the Principal that will probably never happen.

 

Ack! I need to snap out of this, happy thoughts, right?! At least the kids can take over the morning feed chores again!!! :lol:

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Do you have a camera around? Leave it laying out, snap a bunch of photos of the journey.

 

You might be able to literally "see" things later on in them as you transition through. I go way out on a ledge here, but the documentary of it in pictures might boost you out of your temporary sadness.

 

Sometimes we are far too close, cameras and photographs - there's just something about them in marking passages. I'm glad you have decided, that was a hard one to move though.

 

Not knowing is the worst, doubting yourself can be painful.

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Do you have a camera around? Leave it laying out, snap a bunch of photos of the journey.

 

You might be able to literally "see" things later on in them as you transition through. I go way out on a ledge here, but the documentary of it in pictures might boost you out of your temporary sadness.

 

Sometimes we are far too close, cameras and photographs - there's just something about them in marking passages. I'm glad you have decided, that was a hard one to move though.

 

Not knowing is the worst, doubting yourself can be painful.

Thanks! I am too close and can feel it. I think I need to clean something!!!:lol:

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