Cabertmom Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I am curious to hear how other homeschoolers who have been doing this for at least a few years would answer this question: If you had to do it over again, what would you do differently? I'll start. We've been homeschooling for 11 years now. If I had to start over again over again, I would have been more confident of my knowledge of my own children, and during the early years of homeschooling, I would have been both more consistent about making sure it happened every day as well as more open to stopping a subject as soon as I saw my children's attention waning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigger Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I'm a couple of years in now and if I had to do it over, I'd focus and concentrate more on reading at first - I did it all with DS, from science to history, math and such....I'd concentrate more on reading and still do some math, but just do science or history as life or field trips until he was reading really well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 We've only been homeschooling for two and a bit years, but I agree with your comment about 'consistency'. I would have also liked to have researched homeschooling a bit more before jumping into it - we were pushed into it rather quickly following a bit of a crisis, as I imagine happens with a lot of people. I would definitely not even consider 'unschooling', which we tried in vain to make work for four months. For a long time I thought planning and preparation was the teacher's version of 'busy work' and didn't bother at all. I've since discovered how much more efficiently and smoothly our days flow with plenty of planning and preparation. I wish I'd discovered that earlier. Also, at first, I felt that I was a complete failure unless my children were having the most fun and were totally enthralled with what we were learning. It took some time to realise that I only fail if they fail to learn, and they're not always going to be thrilled with school. Best wishes Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I wouldn't have let the naysaying get me down. It really affected me, still does. I wish I'd forged into it with more confidence and better comebacks for the shocked comments from strangers, friends, and relatives. :rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StartingOver Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I am starting all over with two little ones. I will be more consistent. Take more field trips. spend more time cuddling and reading together ! Travel more. And start languages earlier. I am not unhappy with my first time around, but I was worried about crossing every "T" and dotting every "I". I know now... ****There are 180 days in the average school year X 12 years for 1st through 12th = 2160 minimum days of education required ( in most places ) / 365 days in a year = 5.9 years to educate a child. **** For me that means that I can take off time when needed, and still get it done. I don't regret taking that year off when my mom was ill, I wouldn't trade the life lessons of my children during that time. I don't regret the other weeks, and months we took off for family needs. I don't regret the total of 5 years that we traveled, and will do it again. I don't regret calling Hookie Days for no reason at all, and just being spontaneous. Sometimes life lessons are the most important. If you need a break take it, we all need one sometime. Of my three graduates, one is a college graduate. The other two are in the military and taking college classes, so I couldn't have messed up to bad. ;-) I would still believe in better early than late, since we played so much more later, and you can't keep little ones from playing when they are young. LOL Edited January 18, 2012 by StartingOver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 (edited) I wouldn't have wasted so much time in co-ops and homeschooling groups trying to meet their needs instead of my Dc's. ETA: I mean by teaching and organizing behind the scenes--also being battered & exhausted by the parental dramas at our local group, which is why we left. I also wouldn't have spent so much time pursuing activities just to 'find friends' for dc. In a way, by doing so, I bought into the whole socialization argument. Instead I would have stuck with the particular interests of Dc. Edited January 18, 2012 by shanvan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 If I had to start over again I wouldn't buy into the "better late than early" theory so thoroughly. It became too easy for me to drop things because I thought my oldest "just wasn't ready." If I spent a little more time trying to figure out why something wasn't working, rather than just putting it aside for a few months, I think we would have made more progress and I would have gotten to know his learning style better early on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 If I had it to do over again I would've done a couple things. Stayed persistant on their making sure they did their school lessons each day at THEIR pace instead of mine. I seemed more happy with saying we completed something than saying we MASTERED it! Started all my kids reading SOONER! I started my dd8.5 to really focus on reading when she entered halfway through kindergarten, she was already so behind with her letter sounds. I started dd6.5 when she was in kindergarten as well. I'm now starting ds3 in PRESCHOOL! Get his letter sounds down. I feel like this is my biggest regret. Because we are still catching up and they are in 1st and 3rd grade! Research the curriculum's that we're using MORE! Get to know them. Find out if it's what would work for my teaching style and my dc's learning style. I just bought whatever was cheap or gathered whatever was FREE. I never focused on a real GOAL of completion. Those are pretty big ones for me. I'm starting this coming fall with our last dc and I'm doing my regrets OVER with him! He already knows MORE letter sounds, colors, and shapes than both my dd's did at his age....I firmly believe it's because I FOCUS on this part of his learning with him MORE than I did with my dd's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I would have started from the beginning with WTM not put the oldest kids into ps and then have to spend years dealing with the repercussions of that choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 Knowing what I know now, I'd still do pretty much what I had done before, although now that I know about Charlotte Mason, I might go that direction. CM isn't "relaxed," exactly, but it isn't like School. I still don't believe that children must have School in order to learn. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I've been at this for 16 years now, and I think I would have taken a more relaxed approach when they were grammar age. I would have been a little more CM and not worried so much about making sure "we got everything done" when they were small. Other than that, there's not much I would change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 I have been homeschooling for 11 years. If I could start over, I wouldn't spend so much time curriculum hopping. And I would not kid myself about how much time I have to teach certain skills. I kept putting off some things because I knew I had plenty of time, but time caught up with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cabertmom Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 Thank you, everybody, for the replies so far. I concur with so many of them and am learning from others. Even after 11 years and counting, I'm definitely still learning--especially to find the right balance between relaxed and classical. Cassy, I agree completely with everything you said! I too went through about a 4-month stint of unschooling when my oldest was about 7 I think. The kids really enjoyed it but never got around to learning much other than the dynamics of sand and Legos. I think it could possibly work with the right kids and the right parents, but not for us. Also, whoever said that she learned from experience to plan and not just consider it "teacher busywork," wow, do I agree. I'm sort of embarrassed to admit that this is the first year that I really planned out the entire year in detail to the day, and it has been wonderful--not least of all because it keeps me from just taking the day off when life gets busy since it would mean reworking months of Excel spreadsheet. I'd love to hear more responses. I'm hoping this will be of help to us "oldies" and even more to the new homeschoolers who are trying to map out their way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mandymom Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 This is only my first year homeschooling, but if I had it to do all over again, I would have pulled the kids out of school and started homeschooling so much earlier - probably from the beginning. I've seen so much growth in the kids in just the 5 months we've been homeschooling...who knows where they could have been if we had done this all along! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 once I started doing formal things I would have gotten TWTM book and started using the techniques from it ALOT sooner--I don't think I'd change how I taught him to read because I'm just amazed that he reads so well and that I taught him.....that's about all I'd change.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 We've been at for 20+ years and have several more to go. So, since I have so many children I have in a way gotten the opportunity to 'start over.' I've changed from boxed curriculum/text books with a few of my older kids to a more relaxed Charlotte Mason for the youngers. I am really enjoying our homeschool now. Have been for several years since It's been about 13 years since I've 'relaxed.' What did I change? I quit whatever it is I'm doing when the child/children begin losing interest. I read aloud tons more than I used to. Lots more art work and music are happening. No tests. Grammar doesn't begin now until late middle school - with great success instead of doing it in lower elementary. More creative writing. More hands on. More field trips. Much of the reason some things have changed is that there aren't babies and toddlers around like there used to be. My youngest is 6 now and I'm much more free to do what I'm doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyR Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 For me I wouldn't have curriculum hopped so much. I would have gone with Christian Light from the beginning ( I knew nothing about it though until about 5yrs ago). Worked on handwriting more with my oldest daughter. Her handwriting is terrible with a capital T. Don't have this issue with my other three though. Started grammar early on instead of waiting until they were older. Found my 14yr old still doesn't know when to put a period in a sentence or other punctuation still, or remembers what an adjective , adverb, pronoun is. Ack!!! I feel like I waited to long. and more creative writing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 18, 2012 Share Posted January 18, 2012 So far, there's nothing I would change other than having started sooner and not putting my daughter into public school to begin with! (March will be three years that I've been homeschooling my 11 y/o daughter. I pulled her out of public school toward the end of her third grade year in March of 2009. I'm very happy with the way it's been going and only wish that I'd done it all along. At least I'm doing it with my son from the beginning, I guess)! I realize that three years still makes me a newbie to a lot of you lol. But I'm comfortable and happy with the way we've been doing things so far. I knew I wanted a relaxed/eclectic kind of feel from the beginning, I was lucky enough to find a curriculum I loved right from the beginning and have stuck with it with just a bit of supplementing, and we've just been cruising along doing our thing. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I am curious to hear how other homeschoolers who have been doing this for at least a few years would answer this question: If you had to do it over again, what would you do differently? I'll start. We've been homeschooling for 11 years now. If I had to start over again over again, I would have been more confident of my knowledge of my own children, and during the early years of homeschooling, I would have been both more consistent about making sure it happened every day as well as more open to stopping a subject as soon as I saw my children's attention waning. This. :iagree: I've been homeschooling 9 years. I was too devil-may-care for the first 3 or so years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I would NOT get focused on owning a house to homeschool in, and I would NOT move out to the country, thus exacerbating the two biggest disadvantages of homeschooling: isolation and less income. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Going on 10 years here. I would have used copy work from the beginning (didn't know about it then), and made sure they held their pencils correctly! Both of mine have terrible pencil grip, and so terrible handwriting. Never could correct it after letting them do it wrong for so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I'd have started sooner, and jumped into "teacher-in-a-can" math as soon as possible (computer-based materials like Teaching Textbooks and Chalkdust - I HATE math and am NOT good at it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 If I could do it over, I would stay far away from unschooling or philosophies like it (*coughTJEdcough*). I would be consistent and focus on building a solid foundation of skills. We switched to WTM-like methods when my oldest was in third. I mourn the wasted time. We are still playing catch-up. At least my younger ones benefit from me learning from my mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I have been homeschooling for 11 years. I wish that I had found AAS much earlier. But the biggest thing I would change is NOT worrying so much that I was ruining my children by homeschooling them. I wasted a lot of mental energy wondering if I should put them in school. There are family members in my life that, at the time, thought homeschooling was damaging my children socially. Now, they are big supporters of it. I'm so glad I never buckled under the pressure. God Bless, Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 I wouldn't worry so much all along. Even a couple weeks ago, I was freaked out worried. Now, both my big kids have started jobs, are taking responsibility for their own schooling, and worthy of being proud of. I did fine. Hiccups happen! I'm SO not sure I can explain what I'd do differently on the schooling. I agree with being laid back in the early years. I agree with a STRONG basics approach. I *love* WTM (where I *hated* it the first time I saw it!). I think I see a different balance now than I saw back then. *I* get the opportunity to start over. How crazy is that? :) I think I will be MORE laid back in some ways AND more pushy on certain things. And we will use a good deal of the WTM suggested materials. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tonyaleigh Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Where can I find a place that shows what you are talking about...many people use letters/acronyms to describe things and curriculum....would love to know what it is...I'm new to homeschooling, so I don't know the lingo yet. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I've been homeschooling for 11 years. If I started over I would quit the curriculum hopping...always thinking there was something better. I'd stick with a program that is working and not worry about if it's what everyone else thinks is the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Where can I find a place that shows what you are talking about...many people use letters/acronyms to describe things and curriculum....would love to know what it is...I'm new to homeschooling, so I don't know the lingo yet.Thanks On the main page of the general board there is a thread near the top titled "Abbreviation Sticky". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cagirlintexas Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Still to early to have many regrets but I am learning from other peoples regrets. Best thing I have done as a homeschooler though is find this forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I've been at this for 16 years now, and I think I would have taken a more relaxed approach when they were grammar age. I would have been a little more CM and not worried so much about making sure "we got everything done" when they were small. Other than that, there's not much I would change. I'm 16 years in too, and I agree. Here's a link to a thread in which another poster asked the same question the OP asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Well, I am pretty much done. I am pretty satisfied with they way we did elementary school. My children were adequately prepared for middle school. I think I would have pushed my high schoolers a little harder and went for a little bit more rigerous material. They middle two are both in college now and getting A's. One of them is carrying mostly honors classes. The high schooler is also carrying several honors classes with A's. The youngest looks like she will be heading into high school better prepared than her older sister. I would like to think that we would have done more science especially labs and experiments but I know myself too well to honestly think we would have. I definitely would have stayed ahead of them in their studies. There was a point in high school where they surpassed me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If you had to do it over again, what would you do differently? I would be more consistent and not switch curriculum so readily, because the grass, it turns out, isn't actually greener on the other side. I would be more structured and would challenge my dd more. (I went through a very relaxed child-led period and that didn't work out so well for us.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 If I could start over, I would have done math differently with him. I spent too much time at the beginning reviewing. I'd have found a better pre-algebra review and used it right away. I also would have, honestly, started sooner and gotten him writing differently than I did. Honestly? I also would have started him on stimulants sooner. We waited unti he was almost 16 and I think he would have developed different, and much better, habits if I'd started sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm another one who would do something EVERYDAY--my son doesn't adjust well from time off from studies---I would have started WWE and the other writing suggestions from TWTM earlier--that's about all I would change--I would try and be more organized LOL but I'm still working on that even now-We've been hsing since kiddo was about 4-5 and he's now 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I would have listened to my daughter when she complained about it being boring because she already knew everything in her book instead of forcing her to keep working because I thought it was teaching it at a higher level. She already knew the higher level and the one after that and the one after that and... She still hates school. I would have had my young two kids closer in age to the older two kids. Ok, I couldn't have helped that. They aren't getting the experience I wish for them because I have to meet the needs of the older kids too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 My two regrets are music and French. If I had to start over, I would include those two from the beginning, and formally. And save classical languages for a few years down the road (starting about late elementary, not earlier). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeeBeaks Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I don't know that we would have even started if I had it to do over again. We are having a really really bad year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathymuggle Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I regret where we live. It is the middle of nowhere, and most of the fellow HSers around here are quite a tightly knit bunch - go to the same church, related….you get the idea. I think we would have been able to access cooler and more varied resources if we lived in a different area. I also regret not teaching them French (we live In Canada, and it is a big bonus where we live). There is still time, however…...:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fischerl Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry things are difficult for you this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slone07 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Number one thing...I would have started earlier and not bothered with the couple of years of public and private school first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ame E. Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 (edited) go with my gut on all decisions.. rather than second guess myself. Not worry so much about perfect curriculum Not stopped handwriting and spelling in fifth grade. Not stopped IEW. Used the same math curriculum all through high school with a math tutor Made sure my kids took the SAT twice... instead of once. focused more on study skills got into a housekeeping routine with the kids used the pre-set curriculum assigned to us and tweaked it and reading assignments according to skill of child. Made my son read more... Not gotten a computer for my kids Relaxed more... Edited February 17, 2012 by Ame E. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Learning a handful of topics more deeply and to mastery is way may useful and relevant than throwing a bunch up against a wall and hoping they stick. Accept that children need to move at their own pace; respect their pace. Don't push forward because your child needs to "keep up". Have fun. :D I am curious to hear how other homeschoolers who have been doing this for at least a few years would answer this question: If you had to do it over again, what would you do differently? I'll start. We've been homeschooling for 11 years now. If I had to start over again over again, I would have been more confident of my knowledge of my own children, and during the early years of homeschooling, I would have been both more consistent about making sure it happened every day as well as more open to stopping a subject as soon as I saw my children's attention waning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I'd probably say that I would have paid more attention to ds's handwriting and worked more on spelling with him, but then again ... I didn't know about Apples and Pears back then, so I think any other spelling curriculum I would have tried probably wouldn't have worked very well anyway. And with the handwriting, I think he just had to reach an age where he was physically more able to write. I don't REALLY think that spending more time on handwriting would have done much other than frustrate ds even more. Now that we've started Apples and Pears, his handwriting is much better, but many of his fine motor skills are better, too. There are days when I wish I had done a specific thing somewhat differently, but overall no huge regrets or things I'd change. But then again ... my kids are relatively young. Still plenty of time for regrets! :D Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Not worry so much about perfect curriculum Yeah. I've realized that the perfect curriculum doesn't exist. There is only "the curriculum that works for your child" and "the curriculum that your child learns from." I learned my lesson on that one with ds and math. After a brief tour of duty in the math wars, I decided that the best math curriculum is the one that teaches my child math, regardless of whether the math gurus think it's substandard. :001_wub: NanceXToo :001_wub: Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I would have stayed with Saxon instead of trying to force us into the public school curriculum. I think I would have been more disciplined about getting materials for science experiments together and doing them more often. I wish that I could have worried less. I did shield my family from that pretty well, but I worried SO much for SO long. Was it working, was it enough, was it optimized, was I scarring DD for life, was I going to make it, was SHE going to make it...obsess, obsess, obsess. Other than that, I'm good. One of the extremely helpful things, in retrospect, was looking at the view from 10,000 feet pretty regularly. I would stop and think about what progress had been made, and what was going well and what we should change or add. These mid-course corrections were valuable because I never got too far off track. Except with math that one time. For about two years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in LV Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 But the biggest thing I would change is NOT worrying so much that I was ruining my children by homeschooling them. I wasted a lot of mental energy wondering if I should put them in school. There are family members in my life that, at the time, thought homeschooling was damaging my children socially. Now, they are big supporters of it. I'm so glad I never buckled under the pressure. This is something I needed to hear, so thank you! My son is only 5, and right now we're just doing kindergarten at home, but every day I struggle with what we will do next year. I feel that homeschooling is the way to go, but there is so much outside pressure to put him in school. I'm really going to try to refocus my mental energy on making our days fun and productive. (And forget about the acceptance letter we just received for a private school I don't really want him to attend.) Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Camy-7 boybarians 1 lady Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I have often thought about this topic. These are the things that would be priority: 1) Consistency in mathematics, namely learning math facts early. 2) Implementation of more memory work. 3) The most important thing in hindsight to me is that my health would be a priority. I burned myself out by not taking care of my health. That would've prevented my crash and burn that happened in year 11. Blessings, Camy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmeraldGirl Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I am getting that opportunity after schooling and graduating 3 boys, then adopting a sibling group of 4 a few years ago. I am more relaxed so we can enjoy our time together learning. We use what works for our family, not what is popular or trendy (even in the homeschooling culture). The only "program" I use is for teaching the 3 Rs. And those 3 Rs are foundational to all learning. So we are sure to hit on those everyday and make sure those foundations are strong. We now learn cursive from the beginning. I agree with another poster who mentioned spending time more deeply with a few topics, rather than trying to hit everything too broadly. We use journaling, notebooking, lapbooking, hands-on projects to "test" until high school. Lots of nature walks, field trips and out-of-the-box experiences. Enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZooRho Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 I wished I had relaxed more in the early years. Wished I'd allowed them more free time, gone to the park, and field trips more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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