TravelingChris Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I read about this in the morning paper. Her mother moved her into a trailer home with the mother's father, who had been convicted of Child molestation as late as 2006, because he was dying of emphysema. The traler park was full of sex offenders. The mother got sick with the flu and let another sex offender take care of her kids. He then killed and dismembered the child. NOw that is the kind of mother who should lose her children. I would definitely be calling on CPS if I heard that someone was moving their children in with a child molester, even if he was old and dying. It just makes me so mad that the mom did this. I know the guy who killed her is the guilty one but she should be charged with criminal neglect of her kids for what she has done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2011-12-27/indiana-babysitter-girl-death/52241628/1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 (edited) The news reports I've heard the last 2 days have made a point of saying that the babysitter/killer was not a convicted sex offender. He had done other things, but not had that on his record. For all we know he may have been the only nonsex offender she knew in the trailor park and therefore the only person to ask to babysit. Did the mother have anywhere else to go? The sex offender she moved in with was dying and may not have been a threat to her children. I will not pass judgement on this woman. I really do not know all her circumstances and options. I'm sure she was in a desperate place to consider this living situation in the first place. ETA: I've never seen anything saying the person she went to live with in the trailer park was a sex offender. I could have missed that. Clearly there is something more going on. When I have the flu, as I've had since last Friday, I stay in bed and the tv stays on for the kids (at least when they were younger). I don't get a babysitter. Like I said we don't know the whole story. At this point, even if she was doing something questionable as far as her illness is concerned, it does not appear she knowingly put her children in the hands of someone dangerous to them. Edited December 28, 2011 by betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyz Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She left all three girls with him at his house for a week? Because she had the flu?? Yea, right!!! :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Sad, horrifying, but the perp was not a sex-offender, well, not a known convicted sex offender. Perhaps the mother thought it was a safe place to leave them. I dunno. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 It's a horrifying story but the media playing up the girl being left with a convicted sex offender (apparently he wasn't) doesn't help things in the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Never trust anyone with your children. PERIOD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 How awful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Never trust anyone with your children. PERIOD! Really? NO ONE can be trusted with my children? Once I have them, I will be tethered to them 24/7 because NO ONE is worthy of trust? That is an extreme reaction to a horrific story, and one that implicitly puts blame on perfectly good parents who do not move into trailer parks full of convicted sex offenders but whose children are, nevertheless, victims. I choose not to live that way. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Never trust anyone with your children. PERIOD! When I follow that advice I get so stressed out that you can't trust them with me anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyz Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Really? NO ONE can be trusted with my children? Once I have them, I will be tethered to them 24/7 because NO ONE is worthy of trust? That is an extreme reaction to a horrific story, and one that implicitly puts blame on perfectly good parents who do not move into trailer parks full of convicted sex offenders but whose children are, nevertheless, victims. I choose not to live that way. Terri I agree, but with this story, the kids were left for about one week. I have never known anyone who had the flu for one week that was so bad they couldn't care for their kids for an entire week. The only way I would believe her is if she was in the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommie_Jen Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 This happened about half an hour up the road from me. I am not passing judgement on the mom. Se moved in the care for her dad. While I do wonder why he girls were at his house for a week, and I don't think we know the whole story, she's been through enough. The details that are coming out locally from police reports and such are sickening. Horrible. I tend to forget about these types of news stories after awhile, but I doubt I will ever forget this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She can't take care of her children when she is sick? Gee, when I get the flu, I don't get to take any sick days. There must be more to the story. It makes me so angry when I read about such neglectful "parenting". The only person I have ever trusted my children with is my mother, and I will never leave them with a babysitter, it's just not worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 The story from the AP in my newspaper is confusing but what I can gather is the mom moved the kids into a house of a recent child molester- her own father. Then when she was sick with the flu, she took the word of another child molester (who she knew was a dangerous man) of who should take care of her children. That was a third man who did kill her daughter. My point is what kind of mother moves her daughter in with a child molester, makes friends with other child molesters, and lets them be taken care of by a man who is vouched for by a felon and child molester? I think it is a huge injustice to be calling CPS on homeschooling parents just because they are homeschooling. BUt anyone who moves in children into a trailer park chock full of sex offenders and into a trailer with a sex offender is someone who needs the children taken away from her. That is the epitome of an unfit parent- letting his or her children be victims of sex abuse= and in this case, being killed. If she moved in to take care of her dad, grandpa to the kids, why was she still there after he died in early Dec. Yes, a homeless shelter run by a Christian charity would be a much safer place for her. Charities like Rescue Missions and Salvation Army help homeless moms with kids. I donate to these charities so they can help these unfortunates. Unfortunately, I can't donate common sense and a protective spirit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 It's just my feeling on the matter...it seems as if a lot of the stories the media reports about missing or harmed children it seems as if they were left somewhere or with someone they shouldn't have. I rarely leave my kids with the exception of Grandparents but mine are still little and haven't had many opportunities to be anywhere without us. I do realize the media plays up what part of the story they think will get the most attention. Also, I think there are a lot of parents out there who use no common sense or any rational judgement whatsoever when it comes to their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She can't take care of her children when she is sick? Gee, when I get the flu, I don't get to take any sick days. There must be more to the story. It makes me so angry when I read about such neglectful "parenting". The only person I have ever trusted my children with is my mother, and I will never leave them with a babysitter, it's just not worth it. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 What a horrific story. That sweet baby girl. :( I hope her siblings didn't witness it. How horrifying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 From my understanding of the article (link on 1st page of this thread), the man who killed the little girl had been a caregiver for the mother's sick father - I would assume that is why the mother thought him to be trustworthy. He was not a sex offender, although he had trespassing and assault on his record. He was apparently considered a "trusted family friend." Now, with that said, I still don't quite get why they were there that long unless the mother was far more sick than I think of when I hear "flu". I am shocked and horrified by this story - the mom must be feeling absolutely horrible for trusting that man. I didn't see anything in that article though about them living WITH any sex offenders, just around far too many of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She can't take care of her children when she is sick? Gee, when I get the flu, I don't get to take any sick days. There must be more to the story. It makes me so angry when I read about such neglectful "parenting". The only person I have ever trusted my children with is my mother, and I will never leave them with a babysitter, it's just not worth it. If I'm really sick, no, I can't take care of my kids. I can barely make it to the bathroom and back w/out passing out. Wolf's had to take days off work b/c I'd be unsafe to be alone w/the kids. Not everyone gets hit with the flu the same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I don't understand, the flu? I really want to meet the people who have babies and need breaks, get colds and can't take care of their children. I just don't get it you do what you have to do. I had a baby 4 actually and no one ever helped out after they were born. I have had surgery come home to 4 kids and a house to take care of the next day. I had surgery and a baby came home to 4 kids, house keeping and work and school 4 days later. I just do not get this. Your a mom it don't matter if you are sick. You get up and take care of your kids. I have to literally be in the hospital to ask for help period. I can see my mom driving us to school on a collapsed lung for 2 days before she finally had to go to the hospital. My grandmother leaving the hospital after a mastectomy and starting chemo and start cleaning the house. Unless you are completely invalid you take care of your kids. If you can go o the bathroom on your own, you can take care of your kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Is there any ideas floating around on why he did it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 All my anger goes toward the monster who murdered the child. It's his fault. Period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 The story from the AP in my newspaper is confusing but what I can gather is the mom moved the kids into a house of a recent child molester- her own father. Then when she was sick with the flu, she took the word of another child molester (who she knew was a dangerous man) of who should take care of her children. That was a third man who did kill her daughter. My point is what kind of mother moves her daughter in with a child molester, makes friends with other child molesters, and lets them be taken care of by a man who is vouched for by a felon and child molester? I think it is a huge injustice to be calling CPS on homeschooling parents just because they are homeschooling. BUt anyone who moves in children into a trailer park chock full of sex offenders and into a trailer with a sex offender is someone who needs the children taken away from her. That is the epitome of an unfit parent- letting his or her children be victims of sex abuse= and in this case, being killed. If she moved in to take care of her dad, grandpa to the kids, why was she still there after he died in early Dec. Yes, a homeless shelter run by a Christian charity would be a much safer place for her. Charities like Rescue Missions and Salvation Army help homeless moms with kids. I donate to these charities so they can help these unfortunates. Unfortunately, I can't donate common sense and a protective spirit. Chris the only facts in the story you've read that are the same as in the CNN, NBC and the story linked by Dawn is that the trailer park had registered sex offenders living in it. Not that the woman's dad was a sex offender, not that the caregiver turned murderer was a sex offender. No media outlet has elaborated on the mother's illness, she could really have been ill. So, there just aren't a lot of facts that we can really know whether or not the woman was making very poor decisions. The woman must be H*&& right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I can see my mom driving us to school on a collapsed lung for 2 days before she finally had to go to the hospital. My grandmother leaving the hospital after a mastectomy and starting chemo and start cleaning the house. This sounds totally unsafe to me. If you drive yourself to the grave by pushing your body too hard, what good are you going to be to your kids? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Chris the only facts in the story you've read that are the same as in the CNN, NBC and the story linked by Dawn is that the trailer park had registered sex offenders living in it. Not that the woman's dad was a sex offender, not that the caregiver turned murderer was a sex offender. No media outlet has elaborated on the mother's illness, she could really have been ill. So, there just aren't a lot of facts that we can really know whether or not the woman was making very poor decisions. The woman must be H*&& right now. :iagree: I'm sure the mom is horrified. I don't understand blaming her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 This sounds totally unsafe to me. If you drive yourself to the grave by pushing your body too hard, what good are you going to be to your kids? Well, it showed me that you do what you have to do and not shirk off your responsibilities. I could not live with myself if I got sick and left the kids and something bad happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I don't understand, the flu? I really want to meet the people who have babies and need breaks, get colds and can't take care of their children. I just don't get it you do what you have to do. I had a baby 4 actually and no one ever helped out after they were born. I have had surgery come home to 4 kids and a house to take care of the next day. I had surgery and a baby came home to 4 kids, house keeping and work and school 4 days later. I just do not get this. Your a mom it don't matter if you are sick. You get up and take care of your kids. I have to literally be in the hospital to ask for help period. I can see my mom driving us to school on a collapsed lung for 2 days before she finally had to go to the hospital. My grandmother leaving the hospital after a mastectomy and starting chemo and start cleaning the house. Unless you are completely invalid you take care of your kids. If you can go o the bathroom on your own, you can take care of your kids. You do realize that ppl end up hospitalized and DIE from the flu, right? We're not talking the sniffles here. If Mom ends up passed out on the floor, whose going to ensure the children's safety? If a mom passed out while carrying a baby down the stairs, ppl would criticize her for not asking for help, being so ill and insisting on being 'super woman'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Well, it showed me that you do what you have to do and not shirk off your responsibilities. I could not live with myself if I got sick and left the kids and something bad happened. But what of mothers who take care of their kids while sick, and then their kids get sick with the same thing and something awful happens to them because of it? (ETA: or what Imp said) I could go on a simple trip to the store and have something bad happen to my kids. The blame for this tragedy is 100% on the shoulders of the monster who did it. Full stop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 All my anger goes toward the monster who murdered the child. It's his fault. Period. I'm sorry, I disagree. I really think the Mom bears some blame here. It isn't normal for an unrelated male to want to watch 3 young girls for a week. And those girls were old enough that she didn't have to have someone watching them because she was sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 :iagree: I'm sure the mom is horrified. I don't understand blaming her. I blame her because she made a very bad choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleWMN Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Everyone is slamming the mother, but I really don't see a lot of details to do that. Some of you say you'd only trust your mother. What if you didn't have a mother? Some of you say you'd take care of your kids no matter what. What if you were in the hospital? How does anyone know how sick she was? This was a caregiver of her dying father. The father just recently died. I would imagine that she has "business" to take care of in his home. Anyone that has lost a parent knows it doesn't end at the funeral. There's possessions, legalities, etc to consider. While I wouldn't leave my kids with a man, I'm not her. I don't know her circumstances. The man wasn't a sex offender and was a trusted friend. I think slamming HER does no good. It's frightening how many sex offenders lived in that trailer park, but the ones that frighten me the most are the ones you don't know about. Obviously she picked the one she felt she could trust the most and obviously it was a poor choice. She will have to live the rest of her life with those consequences. What a horrifying life to have to live. I place no blame unless I hear more circumstances that point to her knowingly putting her daughter in harm's way. So sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 :crying: Op, I so understand your feelings. When I hear stuff like this, I get sooo upset and constantly wonder WHY!? Why did he do that! If the little girl was annoying him then he should have sent them home! Why did he kill her! Why didn't someone see or hear something! Why did this have to happen? Why was she there with him? Wasn't there any other option? If this mother had picked her children up just a few days earlier... I think it is also makes us feel safer to say: the mom's choices led to this action, I would never make that choice, therefore the odds of these actons occurring to my children are diminished. Of course, this really isn't true but I think deep down many feel this way. Plus the strong protection mechanism of mothers leaves us feeling as though more should have been done to protect this child and we want to find all those who failed. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I rarely leave my kids with the exception of Grandparents but mine are still little and haven't had many opportunities to be anywhere without us. Ah I see, you didn't mean NO ONE. I cannot leave my children with my parents or in-laws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 I blame her because she made a very bad choice. She made a choice. I don't get reading articles with partial information and judging what she should have done. I don't know how sick she was, what kind of other friends or support systems she had, or whether she knew he was a felon. And blaming her doesn't bring her child back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto2Cs Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Everyone is slamming the mother, but I really don't see a lot of details to do that. Some of you say you'd only trust your mother. What if you didn't have a mother? Some of you say you'd take care of your kids no matter what. What if you were in the hospital? How does anyone know how sick she was? This was a caregiver of her dying father. The father just recently died. I would imagine that she has "business" to take care of in his home. Anyone that has lost a parent knows it doesn't end at the funeral. There's possessions, legalities, etc to consider. While I wouldn't leave my kids with a man, I'm not her. I don't know her circumstances. The man wasn't a sex offender and was a trusted friend. I think slamming HER does no good. It's frightening how many sex offenders lived in that trailer park, but the ones that frighten me the most are the ones you don't know about. Obviously she picked the one she felt she could trust the most and obviously it was a poor choice. She will have to live the rest of her life with those consequences. What a horrifying life to have to live. I place no blame unless I hear more circumstances that point to her knowingly putting her daughter in harm's way. So sad. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Moms are encouraged to ask for help all the time, but if they do they are accused of being bad moms. We are d@mned either way. FTR, the article linked did say the murderer was a trusted family friend. I don't understand why a mother would leave her kids in a trailer park where more than half the homes house a registered sex offender (15 out of 24). I don't get it. But you know what? I don't have to. The tragedy is that a sicko murdered a child. And it's very likely that her baby sisters witnessed it or at least heard it. And a mother has to live with guilt, shame, and hate the rest of her life because she asked for help. Many lives have been ruined by one man. ETA: I think it's ridiculous to say we shouldn't leave our kids with anyone. There ARE trustworthy people in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She can't take care of her children when she is sick? Gee, when I get the flu, I don't get to take any sick days. There must be more to the story. It makes me so angry when I read about such neglectful "parenting". The only person I have ever trusted my children with is my mother, and I will never leave them with a babysitter, it's just not worth it. Ok, there were lots of mistakes here. But, I was sick recently, with strep and a respiratory virus. dh was on a work trip. The doctor put me on medication that seriously messed with me. Later, I realized the label warned of possible dizziness, sleepiness, blurred vision..... yep, oh yes, and yes.... If dh hadn't come home the next day, I would have called my mom to come help. I have NEVER been that sick from something like that. And it wasn't bad for long. And it wasn't near requiring hospitalization. But help for my children was past the point of needed. So, judging people who bring in reinforcements when they are ill is a complete mis-focus of all the things that went horribly wrong here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Good points Nakia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Moms are encouraged to ask for help all the time, but if they do they are accused of being bad moms. We are d@mned either way. FTR, the article linked did say the murderer was a trusted family friend. I don't understand why a mother would leave her kids in a trailer park where more than half the homes house a registered sex offender (15 out of 24). I don't get it. But you know what? I don't have to. The tragedy is that a sicko murdered a child. And it's very likely that her baby sisters witnessed it or at least heard it. And a mother has to live with guilt, shame, and hate the rest of her life because she asked for help. Many lives have been ruined by one man. ETA: I think it's ridiculous to say we shouldn't leave our kids with anyone. There ARE trustworthy people in the world. :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 She made a choice. I don't get reading articles with partial information and judging what she should have done. I don't know how sick she was, what kind of other friends or support systems she had, or whether she knew he was a felon. And blaming her doesn't bring her child back. First, I live in Indiana so this story has been all over our local news since the little girl was reported missing. I'm not just getting my information from the news stories linked here. Second, yes, blaming the Mom won't bring back the little girl. But blaming the murderer won't bring her back either. Maybe he was abused as a child. Maybe he had a mental illness. Who knows?? Too often kids are molested or killed by "trusted friends" or Mom's boyfriend. Women need to wake up and realize that they are the protectors of their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 First, I live in Indiana so this story has been all over our local news since the little girl was reported missing. I'm not just getting my information from the news stories linked here. Second, yes, blaming the Mom won't bring back the little girl. But blaming the murderer won't bring her back either. Maybe he was abused as a child. Maybe he had a mental illness. Who knows?? Too often kids are molested or killed by "trusted friends" or Mom's boyfriend. Women need to wake up and realize that they are the protectors of their children. Children have been killed by their parents as well. So, I guess women shouldn't trust their dhs either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 It's frightening how many sex offenders lived in that trailer park, but the ones that frighten me the most are the ones you don't know about. Obviously she picked the one she felt she could trust the most and obviously it was a poor choice. She will have to live the rest of her life with those consequences. What a horrifying life to have to live. I place no blame unless I hear more circumstances that point to her knowingly putting her daughter in harm's way. So sad. :iagree: So sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Children have been killed by their parents as well. So, I guess women shouldn't trust their dhs either. Some women shouldn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Moms are encouraged to ask for help all the time, but if they do they are accused of being bad moms. We are d@mned either way. FTR, the article linked did say the murderer was a trusted family friend. I don't understand why a mother would leave her kids in a trailer park where more than half the homes house a registered sex offender (15 out of 24). I don't get it. But you know what? I don't have to. The tragedy is that a sicko murdered a child. And it's very likely that her baby sisters witnessed it or at least heard it. And a mother has to live with guilt, shame, and hate the rest of her life because she asked for help. Many lives have been ruined by one man. ETA: I think it's ridiculous to say we shouldn't leave our kids with anyone. There ARE trustworthy people in the world. Unfortunately the bolded is sooo true. If it was something like a sick mom slept while her oldest child accidentally drown the youngest child in the bath because she was trying to wash her...then people would be appalled and wonder why she couldn't find anybody to help her since she was that sick. Again I think people believe that if they can find the fault that led to the tragedy and condemn it, then we can prevent it from happening to us. In reality though, I can identify many times that I have narrowly escaped tragedy. So many choices that could have ended differently. I venture this is true for most of us, lapses of judgement where we just got lucky... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 FWIW, the last time I had the flu I was nine months pregnant, curled up on the couch in a fetal position, unable to stop shaking or crying, running a fever of 104 and nearly delirious. A friend had to take my son, 3 y/o at the time, home with her overnight and my dh had to come home from work to take care of me. Just as the worst of it finally passed I then went into labor. Next thing you know I was home with a baby less than 24 hours old, my dh was curled on the couch with a high fever and unable to do anything for himself. The next day it hit my 3 y/o ds. No one brought us food or came to help because they were afraid of getting sick. Between the two of them it took TWO full weeks before they were well. It was an absolutely miserable time and dd's first couple weeks of life were a nightmare of trying to take care of myself (still recovering from the flu), a newborn baby, a sick toddler and a husband who could barely get himself to the bathroom. Some of you who claim that as a mother being sick is no excuse for not being able to take care of your children have clearly never been THAT sick. The family in this story? We don't know what they were going through. We don't know the mother's physical condition nor do we know her emotional state (keep in mind that her father had JUST died.) She left her children with a trusted family friend. Were there some poor decisions made? Maybe, but then again, we don't know the whole story yet. I suspect that they were a family of limited resources and were simply doing the best they could to scrape by, forced to choose between options that were all less than ideal. I can't imagine the mother's pain right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 First, I live in Indiana so this story has been all over our local news since the little girl was reported missing. I'm not just getting my information from the news stories linked here. Second, yes, blaming the Mom won't bring back the little girl. But blaming the murderer won't bring her back either. Maybe he was abused as a child. Maybe he had a mental illness. Who knows?? Too often kids are molested or killed by "trusted friends" or Mom's boyfriend. Women need to wake up and realize that they are the protectors of their children. And even MORE often kids are left with trusted friends or boyfriends and come back to their parents safe and unharmed, and perhaps even with some fond memories of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Never trust anyone with your children. PERIOD! :iagree: People think we are strange because we are EXTREMELY selective about where we leave our kids. Having been the victim of child molestation by a relative, I am adamant about who we leave them with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Moms are encouraged to ask for help all the time, but if they do they are accused of being bad moms. We are d@mned either way. FTR, the article linked did say the murderer was a trusted family friend. I don't understand why a mother would leave her kids in a trailer park where more than half the homes house a registered sex offender (15 out of 24). I don't get it. But you know what? I don't have to. The tragedy is that a sicko murdered a child. And it's very likely that her baby sisters witnessed it or at least heard it. And a mother has to live with guilt, shame, and hate the rest of her life because she asked for help. Many lives have been ruined by one man. ETA: I think it's ridiculous to say we shouldn't leave our kids with anyone. There ARE trustworthy people in the world. :iagree::iagree::iagree: The other thing that struck me as so sad about this story is the mother's lack of a decent network. We had a thread a few weeks ago about kids in hospital waiting rooms and I felt so depressed after it because quite a few people posted that they HAVE to take their kids to inappropriate places because they have no one else in their lives who they'd trust with their kids. I felt so horribly for them. How does that happen??? I know I have a local friend I can go to in a second for help because I have and she knows she can call me at midnight and I'll be there to take her to the hospital with a sick child because I have done that. I cannot imagine not having the ability to call someone I trust implicitly with my children to help out. I would consider that a failure if I didn't have people like that who loved us that much in our lives. If this is all that woman had in her life, I feel like sobbing for her almost as much as the dead child. How horrible. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted December 28, 2011 Author Share Posted December 28, 2011 Her first giant mistake was moving in with her father, even if he was ill. He was a convicted child molester whose last conviction was in 2006. With that conviction, he was sent to prison where he met other child molesters. One of those was the child molester who told her to trust the eventual killer. According to the AP story, the mother was concerned about the friend of the pervert grandpa (or in her case, pervert father) so much that she asked her dad whether her kids would be at risk at that trailer park. Perv Grandpa says no. She comes and lives with Perv Grandpa who already has a caretaker, eventual killer. Perv Grandpa dies, weeks later Ma gets sick with the flu and asks the original person she was afraid of who should take care of her kid- he said the name of the guy who would become the killer. I do judge her= she had absolutely horrible judgement. As I said, if there ever was a case for CPS, it would be of a parent deciding to move in with a child molester. That is what she did. Then she takes advice from another child molester as to who should care for her kids. Maybe she would have had a support system if she didn't move from another place to live in perv park. As it was, her kids were 6, 8, and 9. If they had food in the house, even if mom was sick, they could take care of themselves. She obviously wasn't hospital sick. My dh is active duty military. He travels a lot. Certainly at times I have been sick and had kids at home. I have had high fevers and had kids at home. I am chronically ill and can get very sick with infections but nine year olds should know how to microwave and pour out drinks. Even when I was quite sick, I could tell the kids things like put on the tv or go to bed or make a sandwich. I think there is more to the story. Most likely mom is a drug or alcohol abuser and that is what is both clouding her judgement and leaving her incapable of taking care of her kids. But since her judgement is so lacking, she shouldn't have any kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted December 28, 2011 Share Posted December 28, 2011 Moms are encouraged to ask for help all the time, but if they do they are accused of being bad moms. We are d@mned either way. FTR, the article linked did say the murderer was a trusted family friend. I don't understand why a mother would leave her kids in a trailer park where more than half the homes house a registered sex offender (15 out of 24). I don't get it. But you know what? I don't have to. The tragedy is that a sicko murdered a child. And it's very likely that her baby sisters witnessed it or at least heard it. And a mother has to live with guilt, shame, and hate the rest of her life because she asked for help. Many lives have been ruined by one man. ETA: I think it's ridiculous to say we shouldn't leave our kids with anyone. There ARE trustworthy people in the world. :iagree::iagree: She obviously didn't have anyone else to help. This is what happens when we break down the community and woman culture. No one to help when we need it. And God forbid you need it, you'll be judged coming and going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.