4 year old, bedtime, and hunger

[ChristusG]

Every night at bedtime my 4 year old begs for food. We usually eat around 6:30-7:00 pm and she goes to bedtween 8 and 9. So the max amount of time between dinner and bedtime is about 2.5 hours. Sometimes less. But every night, without fail, when I say "bedtime" she says shes hungry. If we say no food and just put her to bed she cries about how shes starving and she promises that shes hungry. Thing is, she never wants to eat her dinner well at all.

 

Is it reasonable to expect her to go from dinnert time and be able to go to bed with no more food? I tend to think it is a ploy to stay up later but she cries and begs. I tend to give in sometimes sand get her a snack but DH thinks I shouldn't. He says she should learn to eat more dinner, which I agree with. And he says that I'm being too lenient. I get low blood sugar if I'm hungry so I have to eat often. So I tend to let her eat because I don't want her to feel sick due to hunger. DH says most people do not feel like that and she will be fine even if she really is hungry. Plus, we've heard that you shouldn't eat right before bed.

 

I got tough tonight and told her no food before bed. She fell to pieces. I felt bad. What would you do? Dd 7 never does this so I'm not sure what to do. And of course if DD7 knows that DD4 is having a snack then she wants out of bed to have one too, even if she's not really hungry.....which just creates bedtime chaos.

[2squared]

I would announce a bedtime snack before the bedtime routine, and let either kid eat. The snack would be fruit, yogurt, cheese, veggies, etc - basically something that would have/could have been served with dinner.

 

We seem to always have someone in a growth period needing to eat more frequently, so bedtime snacks are pretty routine here. I see it as spreading our dinner throughout the evening. :D

[TXBeth]

Why not preempt it by having bedtime snacks before bedtime? Then if she's really hungry she will eat it but it won't interfere with bedtime.

[JessReplanted]

That sounds very frustrating.

 

What about an earlier bedtime? My kids are in bed around 7/7:30.

 

We eat dinner sometime between 5:30-6:30. And when they get up from the dinner table, I always ask them "Are you sure you are full?"

 

And there is zero tolerance for whining about food when it's time for bed.

[Mrs Mungo]

Why not preempt it by having bedtime snacks before bedtime? Then if she's really hungry she will eat it but it won't interfere with bedtime.

 

I agree. We *always* offered a snack to our kids before bed when they were little. I still let them eat if they say they are hungry at bedtime. I can't sleep if I'm hungry.

 

We offer things like oatmeal, PB sandwich, warm milk, etc.

[BarbecueMom]

3.5yo DS just started doing this. He's avoiding bed, but he is also going through a phase where he eats a lot. I usually offer a small snack (tonight was a slice of cheese) about 20 minutes before bedtime and tell him no more food requests. Having the expectation laid out before bedtime seems to work with him.

 

We also eat dinner earlier (5:00pm or so) and his snack is his dinner leftovers if he was too hyper or whatever to eat at dinnertime. I either pick a snack or give him a couple options - letting him come up with something could take all night and he'd change his mind thirty times (or ask for something ridiculous, like a salad).

 

I feel like I'm a bit more lax of a parent than most on this board, but I'd rather give him a small unnecessary snack than have him wake up screaming all night from hunger.

[HiddenJewel]

I would announce a bedtime snack before the bedtime routine, and let either kid eat. The snack would be fruit, yogurt, cheese, veggies, etc - basically something that would have/could have been served with dinner.

 

We seem to always have someone in a growth period needing to eat more frequently, so bedtime snacks are pretty routine here. I see it as spreading our dinner throughout the evening. :D

 

It is a stalling tactic here but could easily be needed as well. I have to do better at offering before bedtime is announced though. Then it takes the issue completely out of the picture.

[Karen in CO]

I agree. We *always* offered a snack to our kids before bed when they were little. I still let them eat if they say they are hungry at bedtime. I can't sleep if I'm hungry.

 

We offer things like oatmeal, PB sandwich, warm milk, etc.

 

I agree too. Little ones have little tummies and grow quickly. My kids went through a stage when they ate bedtime snacks - pb sandwich, milk, banana... something small and healthy from a set of limited, consistent choices. We just schedule time in routine to accommodate it. I would never be able to sleep hungry nor would I expect another person to.

[SonshineLearner]

Can't put the boy to bed without his snack... whether it's 8:30pm or midnight... power of suggestion makes him hungry for a snack :)

[sbgrace]

My kids eat a snack before bed and always have. This is stuff like yogurt, cereal, etc.

[Farrar]

I agree with preempting it with a snack. If she doesn't take the apples and milk (or whatever) a half hour before bedtime that's an easier connection to make than with dinner two hours before and I think it would be easier to draw a line. But maybe also build just a little extra mom time into the bedtime routine somehow? I'm guessing it's hard to be the middle child now.

[ChristusG]

It seems to be unanimous LOL....I think I'll start offering a bedtime snack. Now I just have to remember to include it in the routine.

 

 

But maybe also build just a little extra mom time into the bedtime routine somehow? I'm guessing it's hard to be the middle child now.

 

Yes, I've been trying to give her a little extra attention when I can. I allow her to fall asleep on the couch next to me most nights. Occasionally I'll send her off to bed, but she enjoys her snuggle time with mommy each night to fall asleep. Bad habit, I know, but she's only little for a bit. :D

[redsquirrel]

My boys do this, even when we just ate dinner. I have seen then get up from a late dinner and ask what is for 'snack'.

 

I go with it. It saves time in the yelling, lol. Plus, I look at it as a way to stuff a little more nutrition into my skinny guys. It is 'snack' and not 'dessert' so it is not a treat. They have oatmeal or a bagel with peanut butter or yogurt and fruit etc.

 

That said, I will give you my recipe for my special "mama said go to sleep NOW" smoothie

 

banana

coconut milk

peanut butter

milk or water if needed.

If mama is feeling nice, add a scoop of ovaltine etc.

[The Governess]

I would give a snack. BUT, if one of my dds just picked at her dinner, I would keep her plate in the fridge and bring that back out if she was hungry later. Or else she might get in the habit of not eating dinner knowing she could have something else later. If she ate well at dinner I would give her yogurt or fruit and nuts, etc. before bed if she was still hungry.

[scrapbookbuzz]

4 year old tummies are little. Much littler than mommy and daddy tummies. So, she may not be able to eat everything put in front of her at dinner. AND she may well have digested/processed all she did it by the time it's time to go to bed and really is hungry. With my son we often had to give him just a small snack (like a fruit cup or something similar) just to take the hunger pangs away. And when we did that he went to sleep much more quickly than if he didn't. As long as it is a SMALL, HEALTHY snack, there's nothing wrong with having one before bedtime.

[Rosie_0801]

It'll keep her blood sugar levels stable overnight. :)

 

Rosie

[kalanamak]

I have a tall thin boy who is not past putting out hunger to get to stay up later. ;) I fixed this by having a time cut-off.

"It is now 9 pm. The kitchen is closing." He only put it off once, and went to bed feeling very sorry for himself, so I think both delay AND hunger are part of it for him. Now he happily eats at the cut off time. For him, it is the 4th full meal of the day.

[Myeightkiddies]

My 11 year old daughter is always hungry at bedtime. She doesn't eat much during the day, so I do believe she is hungry (or she wants to eat something so she doesn't wake up in the middle of the night hungry). About 45 minutes before I want her to go to bed I tell her to get her snack (which is often leftovers because she didn't eat much at dinner) before bed. Typically 45 minutes later she is ready to lay down for the night.

[twoxcell]

Offer her a snack like at 8pm. My 3 almost 4 year old eats small amounts at a time and she would comlpain of hunger if she just had dinner and nothing else until bedtime.

[twoxcell]

I would give a snack. BUT, if one of my dds just picked at her dinner, I would keep her plate in the fridge and bring that back out if she was hungry later. Or else she might get in the habit of not eating dinner knowing she could have something else later. If she ate well at dinner I would give her yogurt or fruit and nuts, etc. before bed if she was still hungry.

 

:iagree:

[walkermamaof4]

I wondered if you are allowing her to snack too close to dinner time as well maybe. Can you schedule a healthy snack (cheese stick/carrots) a couple of hours before dinner and set a time after which it is too close to dinner to have snacks? (Probably you are doing this already - but just in case!) Scheduled healthy snack then and before bed should do wonders. Also, serve her small portions at dinner and then offer seconds. We try hard to also say they must eat half of the ------- before eating the ------- on their plates (usually must eat veggies before bread). That has helped. HTH!

[Cera]

My girls both went through this phase. I started offering a fruit or veggie snack at 7 (carrot sticks, an apple, etc) and then if they asked again at bedtime I would tell them they could have another snack if they were still awake in half and hour. I can count on one hand the number of times they were still awake for the extra snack (which was always another fruit or veggie, often a banana).

[Ellie]

It never ocurred to me to offer bedtime snacks. :001_huh: Other than an occasional popcorn feast while watching a movie or TV in the evening, we didn't eat anything after dinner.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My kids always have a snack during our bedtime stories. But, they are always saying they are hungry. All. Day. Long. They do eat all their dinner, though. I would let her have a small healthy snack, if it were me.

[Amber in SJ]

We went through this as well. If the child ate their dinner then we offered a bedtime snack. It was always the same snack, 1/2 a banana and a small glass of milk. If they were going through a growth spurt I'd add a small handful of raw almonds.

 

Almonds contain tryptophan, an amino acid that acts like a sedative, and magnesium which is a muscle relaxant.

 

Bananas contain melatonin & serotonin, which both help you sleep, and magnesium.

 

Milk also contains tryptophan and calcium. Calcium allows the body to effectively use its own supply of tryptophan.

 

This was just the best combination of foods for my kids. Other foods that help with sleep are oatmeal, honey (in very small amounts) whole wheat bread, and turkey. So you can see there are many combinations that will work:

 

Oatmeal with bananas, honey & milk (this tends to be breakfast food for us, which gives the kids a totally different signal.)

 

Whole grain toast with a slice of turkey & glass of milk

 

Toast with almond butter, bananas & a drizzle of honey

 

It is important to keep the portions small as a large meal can keep a person from sleeping well.

 

Adding a snack to the bedtime routine also helped with the night terrors that my children went through.

 

HTH,

Amber in SJ

[MissKNG]

Our rule is no drinks or food after 7pm (kitchen is closed!). This rule is firm and well known by both girls. If you don't want to feed a kiddo before bed, set the rule and be firm about it.

 

I don't believe in bedtime snacks/drinks though.

[Amy in NH]

Thing is, she never wants to eat her dinner well at all.

 

Save the dinner, reheat it, and offer it to her again at bedtime when she says she's hungry.

[HiddenJewel]

Our rule is no drinks or food after 7pm (kitchen is closed!). This rule is firm and well known by both girls. If you don't want to feed a kiddo before bed, set the rule and be firm about it.

 

I don't believe in bedtime snacks/drinks though.

 

So is this true for all adults in the house as well?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Save the dinner, reheat it, and offer it to her again at bedtime when she says she's hungry.

 

We have a bedtime snack here. If they pick at their food at dinner, they get their dinner for a snack. If they eat a decent dinner, they get whatever we feel like offering that night.

 

I don't care much about the timing of meals. I care much more about eating healthy food.

[Mrs Mungo]

Our rule is no drinks or food after 7pm (kitchen is closed!). This rule is firm and well known by both girls. If you don't want to feed a kiddo before bed, set the rule and be firm about it.

 

I don't believe in bedtime snacks/drinks though.

 

My kids are underweight. If they say they are hungry, then I feed them.

[AimeeM]

Not bashing, I just can't imagine.

I personally can't go to bed without water. I won't expect more from my children.

 

OP - offer a bedtime snack. We have an open kitchen policy in general; if you do not, then just offer a healthy snack (peanut butter sandwich, cheese and crackers etc). Children will not sleep well if their stomach is growling. Painful.

Our rule is no drinks or food after 7pm (kitchen is closed!). This rule is firm and well known by both girls. If you don't want to feed a kiddo before bed, set the rule and be firm about it.

 

I don't believe in bedtime snacks/drinks though.

[MissKNG]

So is this true for all adults in the house as well?

 

I don't eat after 7pm nor do I drink (I'll have to pee all night if I do).

[AimeeM]

My kids are underweight. If they say they are hungry, then I feed them.

 

Same.

I can't imagine sending my child to bed hungry, knowing how painful a growling tummy can be.

[MissKNG]

My kids are underweight. If they say they are hungry, then I feed them.

 

Well, that's your family's night time thing. They eat all day long and have a hearty supper.

Edited November 29, 2011 by MissKNG

[MissKNG]

Same.

I can't imagine sending my child to bed hungry, knowing how painful a growling tummy can be.

 

We eat a hearty dinner so no one is hungry a couple hours later on. Plus they eat all day long.

 

ETA: Both girls are perfectly healthy and in a perfect weight range for their ages/heights. If I don't believe in late night snacking, then it must not be completely unimaginable since they are doing just fine. (And I'm not bashing either!).

Edited November 29, 2011 by MissKNG

[AimeeM]

Not the point.

If your child WAS hungry, would you give them something? You said "no" already. Which is fine - your house, your rules; but you can't say that they aren't hungry just because of a hearty dinner. If they know your kitchen closes at 7, it is probably because they've asked before.

We eat very hearty dinners and we all need a bedtime snack. You guys may not. Whatever floats your boat.

We eat a hearty dinner so no one is hungry a couple hours later on. Plus they eat all day long.

[Shellydon]

We don't do bedtime snacks here. We eat at 7:00 and bedtime is at 8:30. No way you are hungry an hour after a full meal. My 4 year old went through a phase where she announced she was thirsty every time we got into the car. I simply told her to drink more at home. We have a no drink rule in the car (excepting long trips). She got over it and gets a drink before we leave the house.

 

If you were eating earlier, say 5:30, then bedtime was at 9:00, a snack might be in order. Since you are eating later, I would just lay down the rules and stick to it. Bedtime snacking is not a good adult habit, so in the long run you are doing your kids a favor.

[MissKNG]

Not the point.

If your child WAS hungry, would you give them something? You said "no" already. Which is fine - your house, your rules; but you can't say that they aren't hungry just because of a hearty dinner. If they know your kitchen closes at 7, it is probably because they've asked before.

We eat very hearty dinners and we all need a bedtime snack. You guys may not. Whatever floats your boat.

 

Not all families need to eat the same amounts of food.

[Shellydon]

So is this true for all adults in the house as well?

 

 

Not the person you directed this too, but yes, at our house no food after dinner.

[MissKNG]

We don't do bedtime snacks here. We eat at 7:00 and bedtime is at 8:30. No way you are hungry an hour after a full meal. My 4 year old went through a phase where she announced she was thirsty every time we got into the car. I simply told her to drink more at home. We have a no drink rule in the car (excepting long trips). She got over it and gets a drink before we leave the house.

 

If you were eating earlier, say 5:30, then bedtime was at 9:00, a snack might be in order. Since you are eating later, I would just lay down the rules and stick to it. Bedtime snacking is not a good adult habit, so in the long run you are doing your kids a favor.

 

That is exactly why I don't believe in night time snacking. Thank you! Most people in this thread weren't thrilled with my "rule" post...maybe it was just my firm wording?!?!

[Dustybug]

I would give a snack. BUT, if one of my dds just picked at her dinner, I would keep her plate in the fridge and bring that back out if she was hungry later. Or else she might get in the habit of not eating dinner knowing she could have something else later. If she ate well at dinner I would give her yogurt or fruit and nuts, etc. before bed if she was still hungry.

 

Save the dinner, reheat it, and offer it to her again at bedtime when she says she's hungry.

 

Our rule is no drinks or food after 7pm (kitchen is closed!). This rule is firm and well known by both girls. If you don't want to feed a kiddo before bed, set the rule and be firm about it.

 

I don't believe in bedtime snacks/drinks though.

 

We have a sort of combination of these things. Our dinner time fluctuates between 5-6:30. Bedtime is 8-8:30 for my two oldest. If they eat all of (or until they were full) their dinner and tell me BEFORE we start our bedtime routine that they are hungry (and I mean well before, not when I say, "okay let's get our jammies on!") then I will give them a light snack. If they don't eat at dinner, the result depends on WHY they didn't eat. If they were being stubborn and refusing to eat because they were just being picky about something that I know they do like, then if they choose to not eat at dinner, they do not get any other food until morning. I'm sorry, but going to bed hungry one or two nights is not going to hurt a child as long as they are healthy otherwise (and I DO know what a truly hungry belly feels like because there were many nights that I had to go to bed hungry as a child simply because we had no food). If they ate at dinner, but just didn't eat much because they were full at the time, then they get their dinner back if it is early enough. I do not delay bedtime for snacking. I do, however, allow them to have some water right before tucking them in.

[higginszoo]

I would give a snack. BUT, if one of my dds just picked at her dinner, I would keep her plate in the fridge and bring that back out if she was hungry later. Or else she might get in the habit of not eating dinner knowing she could have something else later. If she ate well at dinner I would give her yogurt or fruit and nuts, etc. before bed if she was still hungry.

:iagree:I'd keep dinner and re-offer it just a little while before bedtime, and offer something else when she eats well at dinner.

[dirty ethel rackham]

We don't do bedtime snacks here. We eat at 7:00 and bedtime is at 8:30. No way you are hungry an hour after a full meal.

(bolded mine)

 

I am. In fact, I finished lunch 30 minutes ago and I am hungry again. Ds18 often eats 2 snacks after dinner. He eats a reasonable amount at dinner - all healthy foods. Most teen boys would eat more than him at a meal, but he has always been a "small meals all day long" kind of kid.

[Rosie_0801]

Bedtime snacking is not a good adult habit, so in the long run you are doing your kids a favor.

 

Unless you are diabetic or prone to insomnia, then it is a very good habit.

 

Rosie

[6packofun]

I agree with a small, healthy snack. It's hard to go 12 hours without food when you have a little tummy! It gets full fast but hungry again fast, too!

[Thia]

I agree with another poster who asked what the snack routine is during the day. Is she just not hungry at dinner due to a late snack? Are there other distractions during dinner such as the TV? Is she rushing to get on to something else?

That said, I really really wish I could have a household where the kitchen closes after dinner, but the little bellies here won't have it. They need something else in the evening. We eat usually by 530, bedtime is between 7 and 730. They do not snack during the day though. So, they get a healthy snack.

I do remember times when I've been up in the middle of the night, feeding a child b/c I knew they were awake due to hunger. I value my sleep, so an evening snack it is.

[Danestress]

I think it's more a fear of waking hungry than actually being hungry. I just really think I sleep better when I am not hungry - but also when I am not really full as I hate how it feels to go to bed with a really full stomach.

 

I would assume this is just the way this child is, and I would make cookies and milk a regular bedtime routine. Or fruit and toast, or whatever. I myself tend to go for buttered toast.

[mom4him]

Why not preempt it by having bedtime snacks before bedtime? Then if she's really hungry she will eat it but it won't interfere with bedtime.

 

:iagree: My kids used to always eat something before bed, always. They are now almost 11 and 12 and they will often simply say they aren't hungry and go to bed without. I wouldn't want to send them to bed hungry though.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Just add a snack to the bedtime routine. If she still asks for a snack when you say it's bedtime, she's probably stalling.

 

You could also change up the routine and not include the term "bedtime." Dinner, clean up, bath/shower, stories, lay down, go to sleep.