Would you leave a 2yo with your dh for 10 days?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I know you said the tickets are purchased already, but is there a way to change them to stay for maybe 5 days? 10 days is quite a long time to be away, not just for your 2 yr. old, but for you as well.

 

When my boys were 2 and 3, I had the chance to visit one of my sisters in Belgium for 4 days. Dh couldn't take off work, so he and my mom were going to jointly watch the kids while I was gone. The day before my trip, my husband had to have emergency surgery on his eye for a detached retina. He persuaded me to still go. He went to his mother's house to recuperate, and another one of my sisters came to help my mom with the kids. So, I went. I enjoyed the trip, but I missed the kids terribly. I was totally distracted the entire time, though- partly because of the kids, partly because of dh's eye. When I returned home, I vowed to never leave them again for that long, but I did it 1 year later! Went back to Belgium for another 4 days! :lol: That time, dh, his mom and his sister all took care of the kids. It was fine, but then they were 3 & 4 and in preschool.

 

I think everything will eventually be fine if you do go for the 10 days, but for your own peace of mind and enjoyment, I'd see if you could make the trip a little shorter. 5 days in the Caribbean is pretty relaxing! 10 would be great, but I think you might miss the kids more than you realize.

[katiejane]

I would go in a heartbeat. I left my kids for 6 days with their grandparents when my youngest was 22 months. Hubby and I went to Bali. They were fine. You will be upset for the first day or so but it gets better. :D

 

You are leaving them with their DAD in their own home. I would do some practice getting dad to put him to bed and bathing etc before you go. Enjoy yourself!!!!

[Rhonda in TX]

I would absolutely go. You won't have your mom forever, and this sounds like it's important to her. Your DS will be fine, and it will be a great bonding time for him with his father. Go! (I lost my mom 7 years ago. I wish we'd been able to do something like this together. The memories!)

[sassenach]

I would absolutely go! What an amazing opportunity. I would talk a ton about it leading up to the day. They'll all be fine.

[FriedClams]

*I* would not go.

 

My DH would be fine.

 

The kids wiuld be fine and would love the time with Dad.

 

10 days with my mom would put me in an institution.

 

YOU should go!!! The kids will be with their dad. They will thrive. Go!!!!

[Janie Grace]

You all are so great. I am getting so many wonderful ideas about how to make this easier for my kids! This is really helpful because I can see myself making time to pack, do laundry, make meals but running out of time to do all those "connecting" things -- which will be more important to the kiddos anyway. I'm still nervous about it, but this is helping. And thanks to those of you who said "no" too... I totally get that!

 

This ds is our last. All of our others finally bonded to dh when I had the next baby (when they were 2 or 3) and wasn't as available all the time. Maybe this will be his "new baby" experience and it will be a sweet transition to loving/wanting daddy, too.

[Janie Grace]

*I* would not go.

 

My DH would be fine.

 

The kids wiuld be fine and would love the time with Dad.

 

10 days with my mom would put me in an institution.

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[NanceXToo]

Wow, as devoted a husband and involved a father as my DH is, I can't imagine him offering to stay home with the kids for a week for anything short of a Major Crisis. You've got a real keeper there. And your mom sounds pretty great, too. :001_smile:

 

In any event, I would absolutely go. I mean, it's not like you're leaving the 2yo with a babysitter for 10 days, he'll be with his DAD. And your mom must be just beyond thrilled at the chance of having her daughter all to herself for 10 days. What a wonderful gift.

 

Seriously! My husband would never do this either! I can't imagine him keeping the kids with me going alone on a WEEKEND vacation, let alone a week/week and a half one, unless it was like a family or medical emergency, but not just for fun! Take advantage of that! :D

 

Being totally honest here -- with my youngest being the twins who are now 11, I say go.

 

When they were 2 years old, though, if you had asked me, I'd give the same answer as Danybug.

 

I think that perspective makes a huge difference.

 

I'm sure that doesn't help much. If your husband can handle it, I say go -- your ds will adjust. For me, it would hinge on how responsible and capable the caregiver was going to be.

 

Yeah...that's a good point. When my kids were two it was very hard to think of leaving them for any length of time. You're very bonded with them, of course, and you feel like they need you for every little thing and like you'd feel guilty if you weren't there. Now that they are 19, 11 and 6 I am drooling over the fantasy of a relative being willing to take them for a week while I go on a cruise lol. But you've got a husband who is willing to take on primary caretaker role long enough to let you go experience this wonderful trip with your mom, and I'm assuming even with a mom who is willing to take you on the trip, chances like this don't come around often! And they can be bonded with Daddy, too, and you're not abandoning them to the wilds of the big bad world with nobody to look after them. You're leaving them safe at home with a parent. And you'll be home soon. And, think about it, wouldn't it sound funny if you read a thread title that said, "Would you leave a 2 year old alone with their mother for 10 days?" Dads are capable parents, too, right? :) (Okay well a lot of them are haha).

 

Yes. Absolutely. Without a doubt.

 

The boy is his child too and he deserves to get this bonding opportunity and a chance to step in to the full time caregiver roll for a bit.

 

I have done it and even when I come back to a mess, it's been worth it. It doesn't matter if it goes perfect. What matters is he gets to spend daddy only time with his kid(s).

 

This really does count for a lot, too.

 

*I* would not go.

 

My DH would be fine.

 

The kids wiuld be fine and would love the time with Dad.

 

10 days with my mom would put me in an institution.

 

YOU should go!!! The kids will be with their dad. They will thrive. Go!!!!

 

:lol: (Only because I totally identify).

[Carrie12345]

10 days would not be my preferred length, but I'd do it anyway! The last few days might be hard for me, but the rest of the trip would make it worth it. Plus, there's little chance he'll remember this, but you'll always cherish that time with your mom!

[unsinkable]

No way. That is too long for me.

 

My DH is the best dad I know with babies and toddlers. It has nothing to do with him.

 

I'd ask if we could do a vastly shortened trip (maybe 4 nights?).

[FaithManor]

Well, it's been a long time since I had one that age - my youngest is now 11. But, dh was always an amazing father with babes and I would have total confidence that everything would be fine. He wouldn't have been able to take all of that time off from work, but my mil, sister, or grandmother would have come (yes, when my babes were little, my late 70's grandmother - the woman so spry and active that her doctors were convinced she was really a 45 year old).

 

I would have absolutely taken my mother up on it.

 

Faith

[FO4UR]

I'd go!

 

 

I'd start making opportunity for little ds to be daddy's little buddy right now.

 

I'd start playing telephone, calling and talking to him from the grocery store, getting him used to connecting with you over the phone. You could skype while you are gone too. Make sure your dh has some new things to keep him occupied, new toys, new play-doh, new games to play.

 

I'd give dh the week off when you get home.:tongue_smilie:

[mytwomonkeys]

absolutely i would go.

[Wheres Toto]

This ds is our last. All of our others finally bonded to dh when I had the next baby (when they were 2 or 3) and wasn't as available all the time. Maybe this will be his "new baby" experience and it will be a sweet transition to loving/wanting daddy, too.

 

I think that is a wonderful way to think about it. So sweet.

 

I would definitely go. Your ds will have his big sister who he is also attached to, your dh will have helpers if he needs them. I think Skype is a great idea but be ready for seeing you to make it worse for a little while. My dh travels for work and he's been my son's favorite for a long time. When dh was away when ds was a toddler, seeing him on Skype sometimes caused hysterics because it was a very clear reminder that daddy was not here. He missed dh the whole time but he could be distracted, seeing daddy on screen but not being able to touch him, would upset ds.

[happyhomemaker25]

Not for that long, no. A couple of days, sure, but I could not handle more.

[lllll]

...

Edited December 25, 2012 by ksva

[beccad777]

I totally would go! He's 2, not 2 months! He will be fine and will adjust. Maybe this is also a good thing for him. I have a couple of kids who are very attached to me. I feel like it is a good thing for them to be away from me for awhile sometimes.

For the record, I went to Puerto Rico with DH for a work reward trip when Sarah (DD2) was 4 months. I left her with my SIL, who I trust completely, and she was perfectly fine. I was also nursing at the time. I just took my pump and pumped and dumped to keep up my supply. It was a once in a lifetime thing (everything paid for) and I don't regret going for one second. I missed my kids, especially at the end, but I was fine and so were they.

[OnTheBrink]

If dd were 2 and I was still married to EX, no way. But that has more to do with HIM than with her.

 

If I were married to a man I could trust, absolutely. Go! Have fun! Baby will be fine. Really. He will. :001_smile:

[JFSinIL]

Make a calender or poster with a dozen spaces and put up photos of your and hubby's faces - both of you on a couple days prior to your trip, just hubby's face for ten days, then both of you again. A couple days before you leave make a big deal of crossing one square off per day so toddler realizes each square is one day. When you are gone Daddy can continue - toddler can see that each day gets closer to when Mommy shows up again.

 

Might help. Could you show some photos of where you will be with Grandma?

 

When I had two-year-old twins (almost 3) and a 10-month old nursing dd I got very sick and one night, with 105.1 temp, had to go the ER after hubby got the twins to bed and a neighbor came over to sit with them and baby girl. DD was too young to understand what was going on.

 

I ended up admitted, and my Mom flew out from California to be with the kids (hubby HAD to work). When I came home after five days (in a taxi) dd was in a walker near the front door and the smile that split her face when I came in I will never forget. I imagine that baby thought I had disappeared forever. (That baby is 18 now and eager to get her own apartment and leave ME!)

 

The twins were messing with play dough at the dining room table with Grandma and barely even acknowledged my presence. :-)

Edited November 26, 2011 by JFSinIL

[NicAnn]

No, I would not leave my 2 year old for 10 days. Dh would be fine and I have no doubt he would take wonderful care of her, but I feel that 2 is too young to be without a parent for that long.

 

Most likely, your son will be fine, but it's not a risk I want to take, personally.

[Ewe Mama]

The only way I would go is if dh would promise to have the entire house deep cleaned by a cleaning company on the day of my return. :lol:

 

He would be great with the kids, but THE MESS that would be behind those walls upon my return would be enough to ruin the fun and relaxation from the trip. If I leave for 10 days, it's going to take another 30 days to get the house put back together (if I continue homeschooling at the same time).

 

That said, I would also need to be institutionalized after spending 10 days with my mother. Thanksgiving day nearly put me over the edge. :glare:

 

I don't think I would want to go for 10 days, anyhow. Maybe try a long weekend for starters and see how everything goes.

[angela in ohio]

I can't imagine why our child wouldn't be fine with my dh for any amount of time. :confused: He is just as much their parent as I am. I have never understood the "daddy babysits the kids for mommy" thing, though that is the way many families we know operate.

 

I wouldn't go away for ten days, but that's because I would miss dh and all of my dc. If I have ten free days to take an adventure, they will be with me.

[mytwomonkeys]

No, I would not leave my 2 year old for 10 days. Dh would be fine and I have no doubt he would take wonderful care of her, but I feel that 2 is too young to be without a parent for that long.

 

Most likely, your son will be fine, but it's not a risk I want to take, personally.

 

but a father is a parent.

 

my husband is just as gentle, attentive, and loving as me in all of the things that would matter. the house would not be as clean, their clothes may not match, and their hair may be a little messy - but they would be fully loved and cared for.

[Caribbean Queen]

I can't imagine why our child wouldn't be fine with my dh for any amount of time. :confused: He is just as much their parent as I am. I have never understood the "daddy babysits the kids for mommy" thing, though that is the way many families we know operate.

 

 

Dad and Mom are not interchangable in our house.

 

My husband doesn't get pregnant and doesn't breastfeed. My babies prefer me over Dad from birth. Dad is gone, at work, almost all day long, almost every day. I am the one who takes care of the babies. The babies are used to being with me. They want me. They need me.

 

When I left my first baby with anyone, including his Dad, he would turn red and gag from crying. He refused to eat or take a bottle. I found ways to avoid any seperation from my baby, except emergencies. When my son was 1.5 he was able to wave bye-bye to me and stay with Dad for a couple hours and be fine. At 2 years old he certainly would not be fine without me for a 10 days.

[SailorMom]

Just a vote for "Heck Yeah!" here.

He'll be fine. In fact - it could be really good for your DH and your 2yo.

[NicAnn]

but a father is a parent.

 

my husband is just as gentle, attentive, and loving as me in all of the things that would matter. the house would not be as clean, their clothes may not match, and their hair may be a little messy - but they would be fully loved and cared for.

 

Right, I mean any parent. I wouldn't want Dh to leave our 2 year old for 10 days either.

[beaners]

Right, I mean any parent. I wouldn't want Dh to leave our 2 year old for 10 days either.

 

Same here. We had a few months with my husband traveling a week at a time when my oldest was one year old. It was unpleasant. Neither of us would do it again if it were at all possible to avoid it.

 

I know a lot of people travel like this and enjoy themselves. I wouldn't be able to. I didn't like having to be away from my children while I was in the hospital after giving birth.

[Scarlett]

Dad and Mom are not interchangable in our house.

 

My husband doesn't get pregnant and doesn't breastfeed. My babies prefer me over Dad from birth. Dad is gone, at work, almost all day long, almost every day. I am the one who takes care of the babies. The babies are used to being with me. They want me. They need me.

 

When I left my first baby with anyone, including his Dad, he would turn red and gag from crying. He refused to eat or take a bottle. I found ways to avoid any seperation from my baby, except emergencies. When my son was 1.5 he was able to wave bye-bye to me and stay with Dad for a couple hours and be fine. At 2 years old he certainly would not be fine without me for a 10 days.

 

I've been thinking about this a lot. I am torn...because well, heck I'd LOVE to go to the tropics for 10 days!

 

I think it ultimatley depends on the mom and on the child (in this case sounds like dad is awesome and that part is covered). Will mom be able to enjoy herself? Will the child feel that mom is never coming home? It just depends. The thing about a 2 year old is that they can't comprehend time.

 

I keep remembering a neighbor of mine who went overseas for business for 2 weeks, leaving her 2 year old and 4 year old behind with her dh and her dad to help as well. She said when she returned....they met her at the airport....and when the 2 year old saw her he burst into tears. She felt that he thought she was never coming back. :(

 

Honestly I can't imagine leaving my 11 year old for that long! The longest he has ever been away from me is 4 days when I went on my honeymoon last year when he was 10. And he was with my parents!

 

If it were me I would probably go for 5 but not 10. Is that possible?

[Mommy22alyns]

I would go in a flash!

[Bluegoat]

I've been thinking about this a lot. I am torn...because well, heck I'd LOVE to go to the tropics for 10 days!

 

I think it ultimatley depends on the mom and on the child (in this case sounds like dad is awesome and that part is covered). Will mom be able to enjoy herself? Will the child feel that mom is never coming home? It just depends. The thing about a 2 year old is that they can't comprehend time.

 

I keep remembering a neighbor of mine who went overseas for business for 2 weeks, leaving her 2 year old and 4 year old behind with her dh and her dad to help as well. She said when she returned....they met her at the airport....and when the 2 year old saw her he burst into tears. She felt that he thought she was never coming back. :(

 

Honestly I can't imagine leaving my 11 year old for that long! The longest he has ever been away from me is 4 days when I went on my honeymoon last year when he was 10. And he was with my parents!

 

If it were me I would probably go for 5 but not 10. Is that possible?

 

 

I think you are right about it depending on the child. My middle child would have been difficult to leave at that age for 10 days, for me. I wouldn't have done it except for a serious reason.

 

My little guy now is about 20 months, and I would consider it if it was at a time my dh, who goes away for 3 months at a time, had been home for a while.

 

Some babies seem to widen their field of attachment at earlier ages than others, and some are just more calm and secure, and some seem to really relate to the parent who is around less. And in some families the work arrangements may mean the baby spends similar amounts of time with both parents.

 

Mind you there are limits. Relatives off mine both left their three month old baby to go on vacation for ten days. He was well taken care of by his grandma, but I was still pretty shocked.

[Scarlett]

I think you are right about it depending on the child. My middle child would have been difficult to leave at that age for 10 days, for me. I wouldn't have done it except for a serious reason.

 

My little guy now is about 20 months, and I would consider it if it was at a time my dh, who goes away for 3 months at a time, had been home for a while.

 

Some babies seem to widen their field of attachment at earlier ages than others, and some are just more calm and secure, and some seem to really relate to the parent who is around less. And in some families the work arrangements may mean the baby spends similar amounts of time with both parents.

 

Mind you there are limits. Relatives off mine both left their three month old baby to go on vacation for ten days. He was well taken care of by his grandma, but I was still pretty shocked.

 

Actually I think a 3 month old might tolerate it better than a 2 year old! Most moms of 3 months old would not tolerate it well at all though.

[Alicia64]

I had/have a "barnacle boy". No, I wouldn't go without him. The Caribbean will always be there, but he'll grow up.

 

Mine is 8 now and runs to be with his friends. . . I get to snuggle him as he goes to sleep but that about it.

 

Alley

[Joanne]

If dd were 2 and I was still married to EX, no way. But that has more to do with HIM than with her.

 

If I were married to a man I could trust, absolutely. Go! Have fun! Baby will be fine. Really. He will. :001_smile:

 

:iagree:

[Angel]

Go! Have fun! Looking at it a different way...this is an amazing opportunity for your kids to spend time with their dad. Whether he feeds them chocolate cake for breakfast or doesn't clean a bit or lets them watch 24/7 tv it will be an experience they will never forget! What a memory for them to have of the time. I can see them later going "Do you remember that time we spent 10 days with dad while mom went with Grandma..." :D My dad calls it making memories. My children have been making memories with their grandparents for years. From the time my older dd was 2 and my younger 9 months, they would (and do) stay for 4-7 days with my parents for visits. My parents were willing to get to know their grandkids better and I was willing to let them have their time to form other important bonds than my own (or dh's). Your's as a mom is not the only important bond in their life. Their dad, their grandparents, and sometimes other family members are just as important. I would never deprive my kids of that bond. It makes their life fuller.

 

Also, you never know just how long you'll have your mom with you. This is also about her and making memories with her that you both will treasure in years to come.

 

Just my take on the situation! Have a great time and maybe leave a camera with your oldest dd so she can "document" the fun (or funny) times with dad.

[mommymilkies]

I would not, personally. Or I would take the 2 yo who often rides free. I just personally would not feel comfortable being away from my 2 yo that long, but your feelings may differ. I just would not be able to enjoy myself. Not because my dh might screw up, but because I would miss my kids.

[journeytolily]

I think 2 yrs is very young to leave a child for that long, unless it's for a VERY good reason. Personally, a cruise isn't a good reason, but you may feel differently. It's your call.

[dirty ethel rackham]

:grouphug: I hate to tell you my opinion, because I realize how hard the decision is. But...I would not be able to do it personally. I would be a mess. I might enjoy a few days, but 10 is soooo long. For me, 2 is to young for that long and especially a child how is really attached to mama.

 

I am sorry to make it seem sadder, it is just not something I could do. :grouphug::grouphug::group hug: as you make your decision.

 

:iagree: Not telling you what to do, but based upon what you describe, I couldn't do it. Not that I don't trust dh to be a great parent without me (he is), but I would wait until the child is older, especially since he is so attached. If he wasn't so much, I would have less of a problem with going.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

My dh is awesome and would do well with the kids, but I wouldn't do it, especially with a super attached child. I have a hard enough time being gone from my almost 2yo's when I'm in the hospital for one night having the next child (though they have all done fine with Grandma). I did for the first time ever leave my nursing, co-sleeping 16mo ds last spring to go on a bachelorette party trip with my now SIL for just one night. Nighttime was hard but otherwise he and dh did fine. I had fun but even that was hard on me. It was something super special and I wouldn't have done it for anything else. Ten days is just so long. I wouldn't want to be away from my 7yo for 10 days, though I'm sure she'd be fine without me.