Reclaiming frumpy

[twoforjoy]

I think we need a movement to reclaim frumpiness, the way that geekiness has been reclaimed. I'm tired of "frumpy" being this thing that all mothers (or at least all mothers over about 30--and probably all women, mother or not, once they hit middle age) are constantly threatened with being, if they don't conform to certain cultural beauty standards. I think we need to stop calling other women "frumpy" as an insult, stop worrying about whether we look frumpy, and rejoice in the aspects of frumpiness that we enjoy (like wearing "mom jeans" or having last decade's hairstyle or even wearing denim jumpers, if that's what we like). We need to have some "frumpy chic" so that, if somebody does call you frumpy, you can just say, "Yeah. And so?" :tongue_smilie:

 

Nobody has called me frumpy today. Or ever, but I think that's just because I'm not quite old enough. I'm just tired of "frumpy" being held out as the worst thing that a woman can be.

[melissel]

Stop channeling me! Seriously, stop it!!!!

 

(I agree with you.)

[AK_Mom4]

You Go Girl!

:D

I am a bit frumpy today as well.

[Ginevra]

Well, geek was reclaimed because all the geeks got amazing jobs developing software, so then it was good to be geek.

 

Now, I'm hard-pressed to discover what parallel could be made to frump.

 

Sorry - I wouldn't touch a denim jumper with my grandma's 10-foot-pole. :tongue_smilie: I'm more of the mind to elevate homeschool to chic because we are all such knock-outs. :D

[Rivka]

:iagree:

[dsmama]

Yay!! In a way.

 

I mean, what is wrong with comfort? A "t-shirt and jeans" combo is attire. And, if it is not two sizes too large or covered in stains or holes, it is mom-wear or adult-wear, not frump.

 

Maybe we need an in-between. There's fashionista, there's frump. There are many more elements on the continuum in between. For example, I don't live in a muumuu or sweats. I buy clothes at consignment stores and discount places. I am dressed, decent, and relatively done.

[Alicia64]

I happen to agree with you!!!!! But dh said, "yeah, good luck with that."

 

Alley

[Belacqua]

You know how runway models can wear objectively hideous clothes and still look fantastic? Maybe we can be like that, but with the frumpy.

 

We can wear definitively frumpy clothes, but because of our glamorous and intelligent attitudes, we can still look marvelous. We can be at once Frumpy, Fabulous, and Gorgeous.

 

Or, as Lewis Carroll put it, Frabjous!

[FO4UR]

I wear polo shirts and jeans, complete with sneakers - daily. If I wear ANYTHING else, my kids ask what the special occasion is today.:tongue_smilie: (And they are too young to do so with sarcasm. It comes from a place of innocent honesty. :lol:)

 

 

 

I have a red polo, a blue polo, a pink polo, a white polo, an orange polo.....:blush: (Hey, they were 1.29 off the clearance rack at Sears. Do you know how many math manipulatives I could buy with that savings!?!) I'm frumpy and frugal, and I can admit it now.

 

 

Last decades hairstyle? I sport a tossed up messy bun held by a Ticonderoga #2, baby!:001_cool:

 

I put the "ump" in frump...eat your heart out...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[Jyniffrec]

[quote name=3blessingmom;3265395

 

 

Last decades hairstyle? I sport a tossed up messy bun held by a Ticonderoga #2' date=' baby!:001_cool:

 

I put the "ump" in frump...eat your heart out...

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: Oh my!

[Perogi]

I so totally and completely agree with you! As if we don't have enough to worry about! My SIL's sister made her promise she wouldn't be frumpy after getting married and having children (her sister is still single). Whenever they are together the sister is evaluating SIL's attire - I hate being around them. Seriously.

 

I stick to jeans and t-shirts, basically. If it's clean and it matches, is somewhat flattering, that's enough for me. I don't have the time or the money to stay up on the trends. I may occasionally add a scarf or pick up a more fashionable item on clearance but I am always amazed at the effort some other mothers are able to put into their appearance. And I love meeting another hoodie wearing mama ;)

[jewellsmommy]

I always think of the Heffalumps on Winnie the Pooh when I hear the word "frumpy." :lol: I would rather be a woozel than a heffalump. But frumpy probably describes my attire. I often dress for comfort. I may be in sweatpants and a tee shirt, but they fit properly and my hair and make-up are done, so that makes me more frumpy chic than plain frumpy, right?

 

Sorry, I am just rambling....:D

[Firestar Academy]

I stick to jeans and t-shirts, basically. If it's clean and it matches, is somewhat flattering, that's enough for me. I don't have the time or the money to stay up on the trends. I may occasionally add a scarf or pick up a more fashionable item on clearance but I am always amazed at the effort some other mothers are able to put into their appearance. And I love meeting another hoodie wearing mama ;)

 

I love my hoodies...

 

robin in nj

[Firestar Academy]

to the OP - i just stole this and made it my FB status!

'

robin

[UnsinkableKristen]

Frumpalicious?

[kitten18]

Well, geek was reclaimed because all the geeks got amazing jobs developing software, so then it was good to be geek.

 

Now, I'm hard-pressed to discover what parallel could be made to frump.

 

Sorry - I wouldn't touch a denim jumper with my grandma's 10-foot-pole. :tongue_smilie: I'm more of the mind to elevate homeschool to chic because we are all such knock-outs. :D

:iagree:

Frumpy does not make you feel good about yourself.

[Farrar]

:iagree:

Frumpy does not make you feel good about yourself.

 

I disagree. Dressing how you want and how you feel comfortable, not how society wants you to certainly can make you feel good about yourself.

 

Also, I think of frumpy as involving slightly mismatched clothes and I am ALL about that look.

[GingerPoppy]

I love my hoodies...

 

robin in nj

 

If it has a hood, it's cute and I love it.

 

And hoods are definitely not frumpy. Casual, yes. Frumpy, no.

[kitten18]

I disagree. Dressing how you want and how you feel comfortable, not how society wants you to certainly can make you feel good about yourself.

 

Also, I think of frumpy as involving slightly mismatched clothes and I am ALL about that look.

I think of frumpy as a baggy t-shirt and sweats, the same level of comfort can be had from a fitted t-shirt and yoga pants.

 

Mismatched clothing is funky, that takes planning. Frumpy and funky are very different.

[Perogi]

I love my hoodies...

 

robin in nj

 

If it has a hood, it's cute and I love it.

 

And hoods are definitely not frumpy. Casual, yes. Frumpy, no.

 

Yes! I love you gals ;)

[Perogi]

I disagree. Dressing how you want and how you feel comfortable, not how society wants you to certainly can make you feel good about yourself.

 

:iagree:

[Perogi]

I so totally and completely agree with you! As if we don't have enough to worry about! My SIL's sister made her promise she wouldn't be frumpy after getting married and having children (her sister is still single). Whenever they are together the sister is evaluating SIL's attire - I hate being around them. Seriously.

 

I stick to jeans and t-shirts, basically. If it's clean and it matches, is somewhat flattering, that's enough for me. I don't have the time or the money to stay up on the trends. I may occasionally add a scarf or pick up a more fashionable item on clearance but I am always amazed at the effort some other mothers are able to put into their appearance. And I love meeting another hoodie wearing mama ;)

 

I have to say, I was thinking about what I wrote (bolded above) and I was feeling badly. I don't mean to make any judgments about women who are very pulled together, trendy, accesorized, etc. I realize that I have friends for whom this comes very naturally and they really enjoy putting that time into themselves. It doesn't come naturally to me and I don't enjoy spending a lot of time on my appearance so that is colouring my opinion. I didn't mean to offend.

[DianeW88]

Gah!!! No frumpiness for me. If someone were to call me frumpy, I would be horrified! It ranks just under "matronly". *shudder* And then you're only one step away from wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it and mom jeans that come up to your BooKs.

 

Frumpy and casual are two different things. I don't ever want to cross that line. :D

[Stayseeliz]

Today I was trying to get everyone ready for their soccer game. Everyone was sitting on the couch ready to go and my hair was wet and I wasn't dressed and we had 10 minutes to get out the door! Oh and my 10 year old was holding the very whiny 7 month old who wanted me and no one else. I dried my hair, threw on a bit of makeup, put on my "good" yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt with no stains on it and I was pretty proud of myself. No one else lives my life. If they want to come watch the kids so I can get showered and dressed and have some extra time to put on makeup and do my hair that would be awesome. Oh and I'll be needing some money to shop for new clothes!

[Perogi]

Gah!!! No frumpiness for me. If someone were to call me frumpy, I would be horrified! It ranks just under "matronly". *shudder* And then you're only one step away from wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it and mom jeans that come up to your BooKs.

 

Frumpy and casual are two different things. I don't ever want to cross that line. :D

 

I guess it depends on your definition of frumpy...frumpy in my world is still nowhere near kitten sweatshirts and mom jeans.

[LibraryLover]

I need no help being frumpy. I can do that perfectly well on my own. :D I would like not to be frumpy all of the time.

[Negin]

I'm slowly (although too slowly for dd's liking), weaning myself off my frumpy clothes. They're slowly dying out and being thrown in the trash.

Frumpy feels fine around the house. Right now, I'm wearing a somewhat frumpy and shapeless T-shirt with bike shorts. This is my at-home attire. No one's really going to see me. I'm about to make breakfast and do some cleaning.

 

I no longer dress frumpy when I go out. I have to admit that I did when dc were very small. Dressing was not my top priority then.

 

We live in a very looks-ist society and it has a rather small town feel. Heaven forbid if I run into people that I know or even don't know. I no longer want to dread seeing others and have to hide behind aisles or clothing racks, etc. if you KWIM.

I don't have to always be dressed to the nines. I rarely am. I just prefer to look decent, presentable, but never frumpy. Frumpy would embarrass my dc. They're at that age. Dd is very much into fashion. This is one of our many bonding points. She actually sews and designs and is a tiny bit of a celebrity here - (very minor), so no, it really would not do for me to be frumpy ... but even if she wasn't, I no longer like being frumpy. I am trying to dress nicer - as nice as I can afford and so forth.

 

I hardly ever wear heels, simply because they do a number on my feet and knees.

I don't wear make up.

My hair is turning grey and I will probably not dye it. But I do like to have regular cuts, etc.

Have my brows done and facials.

The most important thing is to be happy and content. Mind you, how I look is quite a determinant as to how I feel.

 

Now, I'm hard-pressed to discover what parallel could be made to frump.

Sorry - I wouldn't touch a denim jumper with my grandma's 10-foot-pole.

:iagree:

I cannot believe that I wore a denim jumper a few times when my dc were very small. Mind you, I was so overweight, that's all that would fit me.

 

Whenever they are together the sister is evaluating SIL's attire - I hate being around them. Seriously.

I have reached a point in my life where I try my utmost to avoid such people. :glare:

I like to look nice, but I never, ever like to judge what others choose to wear, etc. That's their business.

My only pet peeve: I really dislike extremely long hair on most. Straggly, ratty hair that needs a serious trim, that is ... :001_huh: I'm so big on regular trims.

Oh and I also loathe harem pants. Dd and I cannot stand them. :lol:

 

If someone were to call me frumpy, I would be horrified! It ranks just under "matronly". *shudder* And then you're only one step away from wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it and mom jeans that come up to your BooKs.

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Frumpy and casual are two different things. I don't ever want to cross that line.

Very well said. Your words are gold.

Edited October 29, 2011 by Negin in Grenada

[LaxMom]

Gah!!! No frumpiness for me. If someone were to call me frumpy, I would be horrified! It ranks just under "matronly". *shudder* And then you're only one step away from wearing a sweatshirt with kittens on it and mom jeans that come up to your BooKs.

 

Frumpy and casual are two different things. I don't ever want to cross that line. :D

 

Indeed.

 

My entire wardrobe consists mainly of jeans, casual skirts, and black or brown t-shirts. My hair is graying and I will not be dying it (much to my mother's dismay). I keep it up with whatever stick is handy.

 

That's a long way from grocery shopping in what appear to be my husband's cast off sweats and an ill-fitting t-shirt. I'm not a fashionista by any stretch, but it doesn't take any more effort to put on clothes that fit properly. (ok, I do spend 15 seconds putting on lipstick. Red lipstick makes me immensely happy.)

[angela in ohio]

Well, geek was reclaimed because all the geeks got amazing jobs developing software, so then it was good to be geek.

 

I agree. I don't see a correlation between frumpy and geekiness. They are somewhat opposite (if we define geekiness as not knowing it's uncool to try so hard :D.)

[snickelfritz]

I think that everyone is operating off of different definitions of "frumpy."

 

Frumpy, to me, means: I'll-fitting clothes that completely ignore colors or shapes that are best for the wearer. Ditto for hair, makeup, etc... Jeans that are too baggy, with a shapeless sweatshirt, and a hair cut that needed to be trimmed 3 months ago to get the bangs out of the eyes.

 

Casual is not necessarily frumpy. Older dd goes to a private school. The unofficial uniform for moms is VERY casual and comfortable. Yoga pants, fitted t-shirts, running shorts, female athletic shirts (ie....not hubby's oversized, stained tee) running skirts, khaki cargos, tennis shoes, Tom's, etc.... It is extremely casual, but their clothing fits and matches. Hair is casual and makeup is usually light or un-noticeable. Same for jewelry. But, I don't think many (any?) would classify them as frumpy. I think they are actually trendier than the average general population of same-aged women.

 

I have no desire to fall into frumpiness. However, my daily outfit is very casual and comfortable. I keep a light lip gloss in my purse, since that seems to be an instant face brightened for me. I wear my hair long and quit highlighting it, so I don't have to worry about past-due trims and root touch-ups. :). I tend towards blues, since that color looks good on me and I like it. If a shirt gets stains that I can't remove or it starts to look dingy, it goes in the home pile. My yoga

pants and tee-shirts fit me. I suppose that I could actually (gasp) be seen as frumpy. But, I dont see myself that way....which is a good thing since it doesn't give me happy thoughts.

 

Truth be told, Meryl Steeep in "Mama Mia" provided me with a new fashion hero. A little bit hippy, and a little bit fun, and a lot casual, but she knew how to clean up well. And I loved that they gave an older woman longer hair in a positive way. Mine is down to mid-back and I love it long. I grew up hearing women over 30 needed shorter hair.

Edited October 29, 2011 by snickelfritz

[Zebra]

I always feel like I am doing the other person a favor, I make them look better when they are standing next to me :lol:!!! Some of us have to be "frumpy" or there would be no "fabulous" people!

[snickelfritz]

Ok, I looked up the "official" definition, just to see if I was thinking of it correctly.

 

n.

1. A girl or woman regarded as dull, plain, or unfashionable.

2. A person regarded as colorless and primly sedate.

 

 

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/frumpy

 

 

I'm not sure why this is desirable. Forget trying for fashionable. Dull, plain, colorless, and primly sedate do not bring positive things to mind.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

Sorry - I wouldn't touch a denim jumper with my grandma's 10-foot-pole. I'm more of the mind to elevate homeschool to chic because we are all such knock-outs.

 

:iagree:

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, geek was reclaimed because all the geeks got amazing jobs developing software, so then it was good to be geek.

 

Now, I'm hard-pressed to discover what parallel could be made to frump.

 

Sorry - I wouldn't touch a denim jumper with my grandma's 10-foot-pole. :tongue_smilie: I'm more of the mind to elevate homeschool to chic because we are all such knock-outs. :D

 

:iagree:

[Nakia]

I'm all about jeans and tees or yoga pants, but denim jumpers and sweats are not for me. I love my make-up and only go out without it if there is an emergency. I get my hair cut and colored regularly, but I do love my messy buns for the days I don't feel like styling my thick, crazy, curly hair. It just makes me feel better to look put together.

 

To each his (her) own. :D

[Perogi]

I think that everyone is operating off of different definitions of "frumpy."

 

I agree. I'm feeling better after this thread because I'm more casual than frumpy (unless I'm in the house ;) ). My SIL and her sister whom I referenced earlier definitely have a more strict definition of frumpy. For them, casual would be frumpy. No make-up and hair thrown up would be frumpy even in yoga pants and a cute t-shirt.

[Parker Martin]

I once complained that I wasn't interested in clothes at all and just wanted to wear things that would call no attention to themselves whatsoever. Not fashionable, not frumpy, not anything. Totally unremarkable clothes that I never have to think about.

 

Someone suggested that I come up with some kind of uniform. (Like Steve Jobs with the jeans and that black shirt.) Just buy a bunch of the same things and wear them everyday. I'm considering it.

[Perogi]

I think jeans and plain t-shirts would fit the bill. A few pairs of jeans, a bunch of plain t-shirts in different colours and you're set. My guess is that would attract less attention than wearing the exact same thing all the time.

[2_girls_mommy]

I am not frumpy by that definition. I am casual. Ok, maybe on some days I am frumpy around the house :) But not if I am going anywhere.

 

My dds and I do have long hair. I do not keep it stringy. I get trims. Just got my bangs done super cute this week. My dds have very long hair, but they are young and I keep it styled, braided, parted, and use accessories. They look nice.

 

I don't want to put long hair automatically into the frumpy category! Although I have seen people who wear it frumpy, obviously.

[Parker Martin]

I think jeans and plain t-shirts would fit the bill. A few pairs of jeans, a bunch of plain t-shirts in different colours and you're set. My guess is that would attract less attention than wearing the exact same thing all the time.

 

I agree.

[SailorMom]

Personally, I think as long as your clothes are clean, non-holey, and fit right, your hair is fixed, and you don't look like you rolled out of bed 4 minutes ago - you're not frumpy.

I wear jeans and t-shirts all the time, it only takes me about 5 minutes to brush my hair and make it look okay, and another 5 to put on some makeup - and I don't think anyone thinks I'm frumpy.

Frumpy - to me- is that "I don't give a (bleep) anymore" look.

[Unicorn.]

I think of frumpy as a baggy t-shirt and sweats, the same level of comfort can be had from a fitted t-shirt and yoga pants.

Mismatched clothing is funky, that takes planning. Frumpy and funky are very different.

 

Same level of comfort? Sorry, no. Fitted T's are constricting and not nearly as comfy as a baggy T. I'll give you the yoga pants though. Except they don't have pockets. ;)

[lulubelle]

I go through stages - long stages. I just climbed out of my hair in a ponytail stage (about 1 and 1/2 years). I got my hair cut and I blow dry it nicely with some styling gel and all. Six out of the last 7ish days is really good for me! I feel better and I know I look a lot better! But it is only a matter of time that I get sick of doing my hair and I drop it! It's just me!

[honeymommy4]

I like being comfortable!!

[Daisy]

My husband thinks I look good and that is all I care about.