How would you feel if someone took your kids out to dinner...

[Impish]

WHY is it so expensive? Wine tasting was $1 for regular wine (about .10 a glass);) and ice wine was $2. Dh and I looked at each other and both asked, simultaneously, "What is ice wine?"

Because they leave the grapes on the vine to freeze, and make the wine from that.

[Impish]

Wait a minute. I can pour most of a bottle of wine into my SOLO cup. So I'm getting 1.25 servings from a bottle. :D

:lol:

[Jennifer3141]

A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

And we have several wineries up here that make fabulous ice wines!!

[regentrude]

WHY is it so expensive? Wine tasting was $1 for regular wine (about .10 a glass);) and ice wine was $2. Dh and I looked at each other and both asked, simultaneously, "What is ice wine?"

 

Because it is extremely rare, you can not get the right conditions in every given year. There has to be a freeze before harvesting. It is a gamble to leave grapes on the wine that long and hope for the freeze.

By then, the grapes will have dried up and will not produce a lot of juice, so you can only obtain small quantities. Since the grape has dried, the juice is extremely concentrated and very sweet, so ice wine is a very sweet desert wine.

[Bluegoat]

WHY is it so expensive? Wine tasting was $1 for regular wine (about .10 a glass);) and ice wine was $2. Dh and I looked at each other and both asked, simultaneously, "What is ice wine?"

 

Because it's chancy. They have to wait for the first freezing night so the cold can make the vine concentrate the sugar in the grapes. Then they have to pick them all the next day before they thaw or they are no good. Very tricky, it needs the right weather on one day and lots of labour to pick all the grapes in time.

[Murphy101]

You call it "being fake." I call it being very conscious of the responsibility of someone else's kids with me. If that family has issues with drinking, it is my responsibility to NOT drink when I have their kids with me, even if I do it regularly on my own. My dc have friends whose parents won't let them watch shows that my dc watch. When those kids are at my home, we don't watch those shows. I'm respecting the parents, but I guess if you want to call that "fake"...

 

Yes. I'm not a hired babysitter to be left with a list of directives. This is my home and we are fairly decent people who try to be nice or they wouldn't want their kid to play here. That used to be good enough fr most folks when I was growing up.

 

No. That seems over-the-top to me.

 

I think.. my job is to know anyone I leave my kids alone with well enough to decide if they share our feelings. Until I do, the kids aren't alone with them.

 

I'd probably never leave my kids with anyone. Oh wait. I almost never do. :tongue_smilie: Seriously though I don't really care if my friends and I share agreement on everything. Nice, decent people that don't act like complete idiots (all the time) is good enough for me and really the most I think we can expect of most humans.

 

For a shared bottle, I'd be angry. That absolutely makes people tipsy, but they often don't think that it does. They would not take my children out to dinner again.

 

No it doesn't. Good grief. A shared bottle is called a shared bottle because they aren't drinking the whole thing themselves. Most bottles will equal 4-6 glasses of wine. So it is entirely possible for someone to share a bottle and still not have more than 2 glasses of wine.

 

I have never told my children not to get in the car with someone who has had a drink. What I have told them is they are not allowed to get in a car driven by a teen or anyone that seem impaired, I don't care why. If they are acting goofy, uncoordinated, or risky - then they are to call me ASAP for a ride. No exceptions. This includes if dad looks glassy eyed like he is having an insulin reaction, or any other situation that makes them nervous.

[TranquilMind]

SKL;It would make me feel a bit uncomfortable since (a) I don't know their limit, (b) I don't know whether they really only had one drink (before/during dinner) and © it seems strange to me that an adult felt it necessary to drink alcohol when taking other people's children out to dinner.

 

 

This is where I fall. I don't know anything about other people's ability to handle alcohol, and a lot of people in this world don't even know anything about their own ability.

 

"When in doubt, don't" was always the rule I grew up hearing. It just doesn't seem like good practice to drive any kids around while drinking at all.

 

Oddly, I just talked to my sister who is very serious about not letting her husband drive their kid around after a day with his family, because he drinks. He says he's not impaired, she says he is ("go get a breathalizer at the police station if you're so sure"). Someone who does this habitually may overestimate his ability to drive carefully.

 

 

This. And this is what you do not know about other parents, unless they are close friends of yours.

 

I told her that I too would not let someone drive my kids around with alcohol in their bloodstream. It's not necessary, and it's not a good practice.

 

 

Agreed.

 

That said, I understand that many people can drink one drink and still drive safely. But I would still be asking myself - why?

Yes.

 

Why couldn't they wait until later to get boozed up? (Not that my kids wouldn't drive a man to drink on some nights . . . .)

 

 

Mine too!

[Mrs Mungo]

Denise, I like the way you think ;).

 

However, a bottle of wine equals 750 ml, which is roughly 25 oz, which equates to about 2 1/2 glasses per person if 2 people are sharing. Given (our) state law, an individual can drink one glass per hour (not at a meal), and still be able to drive safely.

 

Many restaurants serve a carafe or small bottles that are not 750 ml. That is what I was thinking of.

[LibraryLover]

This is as a good a time as any to admit to that I am part of a fab group of knitting women. This gathering is run by a slightly older mom. She is classic New England. Classic Little Women. We soemtimes meet at about 2 pm, & obviously our children are with us. She is all old school and proper....and she served us sherry! In the middle of the day! With kids running around, with women knitting!

Edited October 24, 2011 by LibraryLover

[mamakimberly]

I am LOL at the amount of wine in a bottle vs wine glass size.

 

I prefer drinking wine from a water goblet that holds around 20 oz. I am pretty sure I shouldn't fill it to the brim.

 

So I fill it about 1/4" from the brim to make sure I don't get too much ;).

[Jean in Newcastle]

This is as a good a time as any to admit to that I am part of a fab group of knitting women. This gathering is run by a slightly older mom. She is classic New England. Classic Little Women. We soemtimes meet at about 2 pm, & obviously our children are with us. She is all old school and proper....and she served us sherry! In the middle of the day! With kids running around, with women knitting!

 

:) I am not sure why some folks have to put a devil spin on the most innocent of things. :001_smile:

 

I think the upset was over driving after imbibing - not imbibing in and of itself.

[Impish]

I just want to take a moment and announce that if anyone wants to send me a bottle of ice wine and a straw to celebrate when baby is born, I wouldn't be offended. In the slightest.

 

:D

 

Ya know...just in case anyone was worried.

 

Oh, and I don't drive. At all.

 

:D

[HappyCrazyMama]

Surely I'm not the only one wishing there was wine in the house now.:D

[kitten18]

A drink? As in one? Wouldn't think twice about it.

:iagree:

[kiana]

Surely I'm not the only one wishing there was wine in the house now.:D

 

Not a fan of wine, but I sure wouldn't say no to a bottle of Mike's :D

[Denisemomof4]

I just want to take a moment and announce that if anyone wants to send me a bottle of ice wine and a straw to celebrate when baby is born, I wouldn't be offended. In the slightest.

 

:D

 

Ya know...just in case anyone was worried.

 

Oh, and I don't drive. At all.

 

:D

 

how many glasses of wine are in a small bottle of ice wine? Just to let you know, I'm sharing that wine.

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

I *SO* want to go open a bottle of wine and fill glasses to see how many I get! I'm still convinced there are about 3.5 glasses of wine in one bottle. Tops!

 

Those small bottles? I just have one to myself. I'm with you, Imp, give me a straw. I need my straw to be about 8 inches, though.....

 

:lol::lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

This is as a good a time as any to admit to that I am part of a fab group of knitting women. This gathering is run by a slightly older mom. She is classic New England. Classic Little Women. We soemtimes meet at about 2 pm, & obviously our children are with us. She is all old school and proper....and she served us sherry! In the middle of the day! With kids running around, with women knitting!

 

:) I am not sure why some folks have to put a devil spin on the most innocent of things. :001_smile:

 

Were you here for the "which alcoholic beverages are acceptable for breakfast" thread? :D

 

I think the upset was over driving after imbibing - not imbibing in and of itself.

 

Several posters were quite clear that they felt one should not be getting "boozed up" around their kids, period. But they probably know not to hang out with me already. ;)

Edited October 24, 2011 by Mrs Mungo

[justamouse]

This is as a good a time as any to admit to that I am part of a fab group of knitting women. This gathering is run by a slightly older mom. She is classic New England. Classic Little Women. We soemtimes meet at about 2 pm, & obviously our children are with us. She is all old school and proper....and she served us sherry! In the middle of the day! With kids running around, with women knitting!

 

:) I am not sure why some folks have to put a devil spin on the most innocent of things. :001_smile:

 

I'm coming to knit with you.

 

She was probably splashing the sherry in the clam chowder. ;)

[nono]

I have never told my children not to get in the car with someone who has had a drink. What I have told them is they are not allowed to get in a car driven by a teen or anyone that seem impaired, I don't care why. If they are acting goofy, uncoordinated, or risky - then they are to call me ASAP for a ride. No exceptions. This includes if dad looks glassy eyed like he is having an insulin reaction, or any other situation that makes them nervous.

 

Well you are too sensible. :tongue_smilie:

 

For everyone upset about a drink, what about prescription drugs? Many prescription drugs say don't use heavy machinery, and yet, people are driving around all the time on drugs. Do you instruct your children to not get in a car if they see a person taking a pill? According to my opthalmologist, my dh and I are about the only two in his practice in their late 40s who aren't on some type of prescription. Which makes both my dh and I go :001_huh:. So, if you really want to be careful, I suggest that you might want to add that to the list. Alcohol isn't the only potential problem.

Edited October 24, 2011 by nono
incoherence, unfortunately unrelated to wine...

[Jenny in Florida]

It seems to me that when you are in charge of other people's kids, you act a little differently. For example, I will occasionally swear in front of my kids, but I wouldn't do it in front of your kids. If I did, you probably would be wondering why I couldn't control myself a little more while caring for your kids. Even if you yourself swear in front of your kids. Get my drift?

 

I agree with this.

 

I don't drink. But there are lots of things I do that are "normal" for me and my family that I would not do when I'm in charge of other people's children.

 

I do swear occasionally, but I work hard to keep a lid on it when other people's kids are around.

 

I have a rather dark sense of humor, but I know better than to say things around children not my own until and unless I know them and their parents well enough to feel secure that it won't be a problem. (Actually, I can't think of any kid we know well enough for not to self-censor a little bit. And I've known some of my kids' friends since they were preschool age.)

 

Drinking is an issue that is so fraught with baggage for many people that, even in it were something I did "all the time," I would not feel comfortable having a drink and then driving someone else's kid around town. Even if I felt it was safe (which I don't, by the way), I wouldn't want to take a chance that the child would mention it to a parent without context.

 

As I said, I don't drink. My husband does. But, if the kids are with him, he never has even a single beer with a meal unless I am there and able to drive home. He does occasionally have a beer with lunch if he's out with friends. And, to be honest, I hate knowing he drives home after. If he did so with one or both of our kids in the car, we'd have a serious discussion about it.

 

Given that I feel that way about my own husband, imagine how upset I'd be if the same thing happened when my child was in the care of a non-family adult?

 

Yes, I'm afraid it would be the last time my child was allowed to go anywhere in a car with that person.

 

And I also agree strongly with the person who said she is teaching her kids not to get in the car with someone who has been drinking. It's a good rule.

 

Something to consider is that most if not all of the people who are arrested for DUI or, worse, cause accidents that hurt or kill someone else probably believed they were "fine."

[Impish]

...and check blood sugar levels.

[Mrs Mungo]

Here it is:

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143916

[Jenny in Florida]

And even if dd *were* to have to call us to come get her somewhere, I would never, ever be upset or freak out about it. Rather, I'd be proud that she was confident enough to speak up for herself, and thank the adult involved for understanding and respecting my daughter's (and my) wishes.

 

I was thinking this, too.

 

If my child called me under those circumstances, I would ask to speak to the adult. I would apologize for the inconvenience and explain that our family rule is for the kids not to get in the car with someone who has been drinking. I might even downplay the seriousness of it and say that we just want to keep the rules clear for the kids.

 

I'd go collect my child as quickly as I reasonably could, thank the parent very much for waiting and probably apologize again for the inconvenience.

 

Then, once I got my kid in the car, I'd tell them that they did exactly the right thing, that I was proud of them and that I always want them to call me if such a thing ever happened again. I'd explain that what the other parent did wasn't illegal and might not be a problem for most people but that the safest way to handle that situation was to do exactly what they did, call for a ride. I'd assure them -- if I believed it was true, which I would if I had allowed the outing in the first place -- that the other parent isn't a bad person and didn't mean any harm. He or she probably didn't even think about it.

 

If a similar invitation came from that family another time, I'd come up with a very good reason why it would be necessary for me to pick up my child after dinner.

 

It wouldn't end the friendship, unless the other parent chose to make an issue of it. But I would not put my child in that position a second time.

[ktgrok]

if you teach your child that even one drink impairs you, and they someday find out that one drink doesn't impair them, will they then think the whole "drinking and driving thing" is a bunch of hooey? I would worry that if I say one drink is not ok, and they figure out it is fine, then they will think drinking and driving in general is fine. I'd rather teach acceptable norms, like "one drink per hour, with food" so they know what is normal and what isn't. And so they believe me.

 

Also, how long do they have to wait before they can ride with someone? If grandma has a glass of wine at 6pm, at what point is she ok to drive them?? Can she drive them home at 9pm, or are they going to call you to come get them?

 

I'm not a fan of zero tolerance, at least not without explanations, because sooner or later the kid realized that it isn't as black and white as mom said. Then they don't know what to trust you on and what not to.

[Jenny in Florida]

I think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who would be tipsy at bill paying time if they've had a glass of wine with dinner. Even if it was their first glass of wine EVER. With a meal? please.

 

I know others have already spoken up, but I'll add myself to the list. One of the reasons I don't drink at all is that it does affect me exactly that way. I've never had more than a single glass of wine any evening of my life. But even that makes me unsteady on my feet and leaves me with a headache in the morning.

[Little Nyssa]

I could not possibly read this whole thread! But one glass of wine with dinner would be absolutely fine, to me.

[Haiku]

I would not have a problem with this totally normal behavior. I think people are way too paranoid about normal alcohol consumption.

 

Last year, dd-then-16 and her friend came home while dh and I were in the middle of dinner. Dd asked whether her friend could eat. I said sure. Dd later told me that her friend's parents were upset that we were drinking in their dd's presence.

 

I had a soda with some vodka in it. Dh had a beer. In our own house. When we hadn't invited their child over; their child just showed up. Honestly, I told dd that her friend's parents needed to chill out big time.

 

Tara

[Mrs Mungo]

Even if I felt it was safe (which I don't, by the way),

 

Based on what? If I order a glass of wine when we sit down and it takes two hours to get through dinner (pretty average for a decent restaurant where there is wine), then I would have almost completely metabolized it by the time dinner was over. We are not talking about someone who is impaired here.

 

You can set whatever rules you like for your family. But, if you are going to tell your kids to never get in the car with someone who has had a single drink, then you need to make parents of other kids aware of that rule. Because some kids will steadfastly stand by that, even if it has been several hours and there is zero chance of impairment.

[tntgoodwin]

if you teach your child that even one drink impairs you, and they someday find out that one drink doesn't impair them, will they then think the whole "drinking and driving thing" is a bunch of hooey? I would worry that if I say one drink is not ok, and they figure out it is fine, then they will think drinking and driving in general is fine. I'd rather teach acceptable norms, like "one drink per hour, with food" so they know what is normal and what isn't. And so they believe me.

 

Also, how long do they have to wait before they can ride with someone? If grandma has a glass of wine at 6pm, at what point is she ok to drive them?? Can she drive them home at 9pm, or are they going to call you to come get them?

 

I'm not a fan of zero tolerance, at least not without explanations, because sooner or later the kid realized that it isn't as black and white as mom said. Then they don't know what to trust you on and what not to.

 

:iagree:

 

The same issue exists because of things like DARE. They teach how drugs affect people, and then kids try marijuana and learned they were lied to. Next thing you know, you've got people hooked on meth and heroin because they were lied to. It's the authority (parent, teacher, cop, etc) who cried wolf, and now look where we are.

[Jenny in Florida]

if you teach your child that even one drink impairs you, and they someday find out that one drink doesn't impair them, will they then think the whole "drinking and driving thing" is a bunch of hooey? I would worry that if I say one drink is not ok, and they figure out it is fine, then they will think drinking and driving in general is fine. I'd rather teach acceptable norms, like "one drink per hour, with food" so they know what is normal and what isn't. And so they believe me.

 

Here's the thing: It's not true that it doesn't impair a person. The difference for most people with a single drink is probably negligible, especially if it is taken with a meal. But it's not "hooey."

 

I'm honest with my kids about the risks, but I do not believe and would not ever tell them there are no risks.

 

I'm not a fan of zero tolerance, at least not without explanations, because sooner or later the kid realized that it isn't as black and white as mom said. Then they don't know what to trust you on and what not to.

 

"Zero tolerance" doesn't mean dishonesty or over-simplification.

 

Remember, I'm the parent who chose not to "do Santa" with my kids because maintaining their trust was and is so important to me. I don't think it's fair or accurate to imply otherwise on this issue.

[Haiku]

This is my home and we are fairly decent people who try to be nice or they wouldn't want their kid to play here. That used to be good enough fr most folks when I was growing up.

 

 

Yep. I frequently encounter the idea that children should only be around people who share the parents' beliefs exactly and that parents have an obligation and an expectation to mold the behavior of those their children are in contact with to suit the parents' desires. Here on this board we have threads about how grandparents gave their kids treats when the parents said not to with a chorus of responses about how disrespectful the grandparents are and how they shouldn't be allowed to be alone with the kids because of it.

 

Seriously? :chillpill:

 

I think people need to relax and accept the fact that people can behave differently than you (general you) and still not be a danger to your children or a threat to your parenting. If someone doesn't drink alcohol, awesome. I didn't for years. But don't expect others to adopt that behavior, and don't convince yourself that any amount of alcohol is always dangerous, period. It's not.

 

Tara

[Mrs Mungo]

Here's the thing: It's not true that it doesn't impair a person. The difference for most people with a single drink is probably negligible, especially if it is taken with a meal. But it's not "hooey."

 

 

It *is* hooey to say that someone is impaired if they had a glass of wine while eating a retaurant meal with all of the waiting that goes on throughout. It is hooey to imply to your child that the other parent probably meant well, but showed poor judgment.

 

"Zero tolerance" doesn't mean dishonesty or over-simplification.

 

Zero tolerance almost always results in intellectual dishonestly and over simplification. Hence, the boy kicked out of school for the Lego minifig gun.

[goldberry]

DD is 12. Just in the last year or so (about since she was 10) hubby and I will have a drink around her. I have no idea why or any reasonable explanation except that it didn't feel right when she was smaller.

 

When we are at a restaurant with her, the person driving does not drink at all. Again, this is not something we have discussed or have any reasonable explanation for, it just seemed to be an unspoken agreement. When it is just hubby and me, hubby might have one beer with dinner, even if he is driving. We are very sensitive to drinking and driving, and he would never have more than one beer if he was driving under any circumstances.

 

When other people's kids are with us, neither of us drink. I do feel a sense of added responsibility, that I do not equate with being fake, but as others have mentioned just choosing to avoid any possible issues that might come with drinking in the presence of other people's children. Even if as a passenger I might feel ok having a drink (although I still choose not to), the person driving would never drink when driving other's children. Again, maybe this is not 100% reasoned out, but just a gut feeling "that wouldn't be right".

 

That said, there are very few other adults I am comfortable with hauling MY kid around, and if one of them were to have ONE drink with dinner, I would most likely not have a problem with it. But only because I know those adults well enough to already trust their general parenting skills and value system.

 

Interesting discussion though. Makes me aware of how many "unspoken" agreements hubby and I have made that fortunately match up with each other's viewpoints!

 

Disclaimer, though, at our church we are taught to be sensitive to other's experiences with alcohol. It is common when inviting or joining another family for dinner to ask "Would it be ok with you to open a bottle of wine?" or "Would it bother you if I order a margarita?" or sometimes just avoiding it altogether in case anyone has an issue. We consider this Christian love and respect for other's conscience and various experiences/family history.

[ktgrok]

I realized I should clarify my statement about zero tolerance policies. IF you say "most people are fine to drive after one drink per hour, but because some people are not, and you can't tell, I don't want you to drive with anyone that has had any alcohol at all within the last hour" that is a zero tolerance policy that makes sense and doesn't oversimplify. If you say "i don't want you to drive with anyone that has had any alcohol because any alcohol at all will make it unsafe to drive" that is oversimplifying and absurd. And probably going to lead to trouble. Kids are not dumb, they can handle being taught the hows and the whys. And are probably more likely to follow the rule if it is reasonable and has meaning.

[QueenCat]

We believe in modeling a healthy, balanced relationship with alcohol.

 

:iagree:100% with this.

[Mrs Mungo]

I realized I should clarify my statement about zero tolerance policies. IF you say "most people are fine to drive after one drink per hour, but because some people are not, and you can't tell, I don't want you to drive with anyone that has had any alcohol at all within the last hour" that is a zero tolerance policy that makes sense and doesn't oversimplify. If you say "i don't want you to drive with anyone that has had any alcohol because any alcohol at all will make it unsafe to drive" that is oversimplifying and absurd. And probably going to lead to trouble. Kids are not dumb, they can handle being taught the hows and the whys. And are probably more likely to follow the rule if it is reasonable and has meaning.

 

:iagree: Not driving with a teen or young adult who has been drinking isn't oversimplifying either. They are inexperienced and lack the judgment of an older adult. That would be different.

[QueenCat]

Even if that were the norm for that person, I expect them to behave with higher standards when they have my children in their company.

 

It is not "low" standards to have a drink with a meal.

[kiana]

:iagree:

 

The same issue exists because of things like DARE. They teach how drugs affect people, and then kids try marijuana and learned they were lied to. Next thing you know, you've got people hooked on meth and heroin because they were lied to. It's the authority (parent, teacher, cop, etc) who cried wolf, and now look where we are.

 

Yep. I know someone who got hooked on meth. She said that when she saw people she knew were potheads who still had productive lives, she figured it was more hysteria from the health teacher. By the time she realized that they were actually telling the truth about meth, it was a bit late. She's been clean now for several years, gives speeches about how awful it was, etc.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

Blessings, Helena!!! :)

Edited October 24, 2011 by FiveOaksAcademy
momentary lapse of sense

[helena]

.

Edited October 24, 2011 by helena

[ktgrok]

I think it is a "higher" standard to choose not to. :) There is no benefit to drinking with a meal or to drinking, period. If we were talking about something with major positives, people would have a good argument. I find it strange that people would be unwilling to do that in the company of children.

 

We teach our kids that alcohol, when consumed in moderation, is fine for a lot of people. But then we just discuss the issue that there is really no valid reason to start. There really are no benefits, so why risk it? There is alcoholism in our family as well, so it's just a no-brainer that having the self-control to avoid it is a wise decision.

 

There are actually many health benefits to alcoholic drinks, particularly red wine. My mom drinks a glass every evening per her doctor's orders (cardiologist).

 

By your standard one shouldn't eat anything with sugar either, as it has no health benefits.

[Impish]

I think it is a "higher" standard to choose not to. :) There is no benefit to drinking with a meal or to drinking, period. If we were talking about something with major positives, people would have a good argument. I find it strange that people would be unwilling to do that in the company of children.

 

We teach our kids that alcohol, when consumed in moderation, is fine for a lot of people. But then we just discuss the issue that there is really no valid reason to start. There really are no benefits, so why risk it? There is alcoholism in our family as well, so it's just a no-brainer that having the self-control to avoid it is a wise decision.

Ummm, that's totally wrong, that there is no benefit. How many studies have shown that a glass of wine is good for heart health? Google it.

[tntgoodwin]

I think it is a "higher" standard to choose not to. :) There is no benefit to drinking with a meal or to drinking, period. If we were talking about something with major positives, people would have a good argument. I find it strange that people would be unwilling to do that in the company of children.

 

We teach our kids that alcohol, when consumed in moderation, is fine for a lot of people. But then we just discuss the issue that there is really no valid reason to start. There really are no benefits, so why risk it? There is alcoholism in our family as well, so it's just a no-brainer that having the self-control to avoid it is a wise decision.

 

Actually, there are benefits to drinking.

Beer, for example, can help with bone density, and can help nursing mothers produce more milk. Red wine is good for your heart.

[mrs.m]

I think it is a "higher" standard to choose not to. :) There is no benefit to drinking with a meal or to drinking, period. If we were talking about something with major positives, people would have a good argument. I find it strange that people would be unwilling to do that in the company of children.

 

We teach our kids that alcohol, when consumed in moderation, is fine for a lot of people. But then we just discuss the issue that there is really no valid reason to start. There really are no benefits, so why risk it? There is alcoholism in our family as well, so it's just a no-brainer that having the self-control to avoid it is a wise decision.

 

 

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/red-wine/HB00089

 

Red wine's potential heart-healthy benefits look promising. Those who drink moderate amounts of alcohol, including red wine, seem to have a lower risk of heart disease. However, more research is needed before we know whether red wine is better for your heart than are other forms of alcohol, such as beer or spirits.

 

[IsabelC]

Wouldn't bother me (assuming it was only 1 or 2 standard drinks, of course).

[QueenCat]

Were you here for the "which alcoholic beverages are acceptable for breakfast" thread? :D

 

 

Now I'm thinking about mimosas.... yum.

[Mrs Mungo]

I think it is a "higher" standard to choose not to. :) There is no benefit to drinking with a meal or to drinking, period. If we were talking about something with major positives, people would have a good argument. I find it strange that people would be unwilling to do that in the company of children.

 

It is not a matter of being unwilling. It is a matter of a glass of wine with dinner being a totally normal, in no way bad thing. Therefore, why would we necessarily think about it?

 

I totally agree with the many posters who said it's up to the parent to communicate that it's not okay. That was the big lesson for me in this. The kids were fine, it wasn't some crazy situation. But, people can't read my mind. And people don't all have the same beliefs... no problem. I need to speak up.

 

Sadly, I'm left wondering if the ultimate outcome of this is that there won't be anymore dinners, or being alone with the kids (on their part, not mine). There is much more to this situation (as always) and it's not as simple as communicate and go from there.

 

For me, if you gave me a talk on how you did not want me to drink and/or have a drink with dinner and then drive, it would tell me that you did not ultimately trust my judgment. So, it would probably mean no more hanging out with each other's kids alone.

[74Heaven]

Our family standard is no drinking and driving.

Drinking in moderation is okay.

Driving is okay.

The two should never mix, esp. when children are involved.

 

Lisaj

[mamakimberly]

And another health benefit- do you know how many kidney stone sufferers are sent home to drink beer?

 

I had a spurt of kidney stones one year and was told to drink a couple beers a night until it passed.

[EmilyK]

I never would have even thought this was an issue before reading this thread. I doubt that parents having one drink with dinner are trying to offend or go against the guest's family values. It honestly wouldn't even occur to me or my husband to be a problem. I think it is totally different than swearing in front of kids, or taking them to an R rated movie or some such.