*~Tina~* Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I've got a mix of things going on...post-partum depression, mid-life crisis, my mother's rapidly declining health (cancer & kidney disease), the huge gaps in my children's ages (the thought that I'll be nearly 60 before my youngest is 18 and I don't see myself hsing that long), being overwhelmed with hsing (feeling trapped with no other options and unable to meet everyone's needs), being broke, dd's seizures and learning issues, and a couple other things I can't include because of board guidelines. I feel like I'm in a pit and I can't catch my breath or find my way out. I need to take some steps to get out of this rut and feel better...any advice? :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I've got a mix of things going on...post-partum depression, mid-life crisis, my mother's rapidly declining health (cancer & kidney disease), the huge gaps in my children's ages (the thought that I'll be nearly 60 before my youngest is 18 and I don't see myself hsing that long), being overwhelmed with hsing (feeling trapped with no other options and unable to meet everyone's needs), being broke, dd's seizures and learning issues, and a couple other things I can't include because of board guidelines. I feel like I'm in a pit and I can't catch my breath or find my way out. I need to take some steps to get out of this rut and feel better...any advice? :( :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: One day at a time. If it's acceptable to you, I'll pray for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 (edited) :grouphug::grouphug: I understand. I'm not so great myself today. :grouphug: To savage my self -esteem today: 1. I'm taking a break to just breathe. 2. I want a healthy dinner. 3. I'll do a little housework so I'll have a tidy room to breathe and eat in.:D Sometimes we just have to call it a day emotionally, try to relax and get a good night's sleep, and make a plan to try and follow tomorrow. Getting some fresh air and a little exercise would be a good idea too. I hope you feel better. :grouphug: Edited to add: I just went to your blog and looked at your bookcase! Wow! Wonderful!! Edited October 4, 2011 by Pam L in Mid Tenn adding more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRG Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm with you on so many points--I'm 40, probably suffering some ppd--at the very least a year of sleep deprivation. My kids are 13 years apart. I try to think on the positives of this. I will be in my late 50s and dh in his 60s when the baby graduates. We will never have an empty nest--most days I feel that we will never have 2 minutes alone ever again! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug: & prayers. I was in a bit of a pit today too, a bubble bath helped. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I've got a mix of things going on...post-partum depression, mid-life crisis, my mother's rapidly declining health (cancer & kidney disease), the huge gaps in my children's ages (the thought that I'll be nearly 60 before my youngest is 18 and I don't see myself hsing that long), being overwhelmed with hsing (feeling trapped with no other options and unable to meet everyone's needs), being broke, dd's seizures and learning issues, and a couple other things I can't include because of board guidelines. I feel like I'm in a pit and I can't catch my breath or find my way out. I need to take some steps to get out of this rut and feel better...any advice? :( Make a healthy, routine diet and lots of sleep your priority. This sounds silly but it's the foundation you need to build everything else on. Then see a doctor to rule out any other issues and then tackle things one at a time. I wish you were nearby so we could have a cup of tea and some cheesecake together. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the evolving homemaker Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 can you take a day to yourself? the WHOLE day? sometimes when i am feeling completely at a loss i tell the hubby that is it, i need a day. it usually benefits him too, i come home refreshed, more organized, ready to try again. i look over my calendars, schedule, list of to-do's, and grab a good book. all the while i just try to figure out what would be most helpful to the current situation. sometimes all we need to brighten our outlook is a new view...like from a teeny bit farther away! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Have you gone to your doctor about your ppd? Please start there and get some help. It won't fix everything else but it will give you a firmer foundation for dealing with it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Have you gone to your doctor about your ppd? Please start there and get some help. It won't fix everything else but it will give you a firmer foundation for dealing with it all. :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug: Tina. Do see your doctor as soon as possible. They can help you with the ppd, which, once treated can help you climb out of this. :grouphug: again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennynd Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm sorry you are feeling this way, Tina. :grouphug: Another encouraging word for you to see your doctor. I dealt with ppd after the birth of both of my children. It's dreadful, and it magnifies everything you are going through. Please see your doctor to help get that under control first, so the other things will be more manageable. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyinND Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug: It helped me to remember that anyone can eat an elephant...one bite at a time. My darkest days, I would break it down to minutes and just get through the minutes. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: It sounds like you are having an awful time. Maybe a break? Just work with the basics? Lots of cuddle time maybe with an audiobook so a nap might happen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Please feel free to PM me, too, if you want to talk about the ppd and all of the rest. I'm down there with you. I go back friday to get my meds changed. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm so sorry Tina. :grouphug: I'm praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug: Praying you can get help with the ppd very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Have you gone to your doctor about your ppd? Please start there and get some help. It won't fix everything else but it will give you a firmer foundation for dealing with it all. :iagree: I'm sorry, Tina. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You've gotten good advice about getting some help with the ppd, but I just wanted to give you a :grouphug: and let you know I'll be praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 No advice but I will be nearing 60 when youngest is done with school. If you push my wheelchair I will hold your cane! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I was in your shoes 3 - 4 years ago. I can't give advice, because I just grew numb and went onto auto-pilot to cope. We finally had peace restored to our lives in the past year, despite one HORRENDOUS trial last winter. I finally feel like I can catch my breath. I just had too many trials, too much. Dh and I are totally and completely burnt out still, and I fear we'll never be the same. But we go on, and we enjoy the peace every second we can. All I can say really is to hold tight and try to hold it together. This season will eventually pass.:grouphug: You've got a very heavy load you're carrying. I'm really sorry! If you want to PM me, please feel free. I would even call you if you wanted someone to talk to.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: If you can, please take some time alone just for YOU! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 oh, and I'll be 58 when my youngest turns 18. I sometimes TRULY fear that I may not make it that long. I have a RAD kid which will be going through her teens while I'm in my 50's!!!!!!!!!! :svengo: :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 (edited) I do think change is rough, and our bodies change. Get a physical. Check your thyroid, your hormones, your everything. Think about screening for depression. You might feel better with vitamins, light excersize, and claiming time for yourself (as best you can). Edited October 6, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oops, duplicate account :/ Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug:Tina:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brooketopia Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I was given the advice of seriously upping my intake of B vitamins and fish oil when I felt like that a few years ago and it helped a little bit. I stuck with the program and I can tell when I forget to take them...it's not really about "energy" per se, but a feeling of "being present." You've got a lot going on right now. If I were your neighbor or in your HS support group, I'd suggest cutting back on whatever you could cut out of your life and trying to add in one thing that you look forward to doing. I get horrendously depressed when I'm pregnant and then it gets worse with PPD and nursing. I started a knitting group that met EVERY WEEK at my favorite cafe because I "knew" that I needed something to keep me going forward with optimism. Depression is such a weird thing and sometimes you have to take weird steps in order to manage it. It's been two years since I started my knitting group, and only recently have I started to feel like I could spend the time in better ways. I needed that "escape" to keep me sane. I also tacked on my grocery shopping after the meeting--one more hour by myself and the grocery shopping actually got done, which isn't necessarily the case when I'm so depressed and overwhelmed that I can barely take a shower. If I started feeling guilty about taking "all that time" for myself and stranding my husband with the kids, I would repeat what my husband said to me when I confessed the guilt I was feeling: "You are alone with the kids for 12-16 hours a day every day, I can handle three hours alone with them one night a week." Plus, he got food out of the deal. Do what you've got to do to get through this as healthily and cheerfully as you can. If you're religious, I'd highly suggest some serious scripture study, prayer and journalling. Have weekly dates with your husband--with a baby, sometimes all you can do is rent/queue a movie to watch together sans kids. DO EET--it strengthens your marriage, which is a wonderful gift to your children, and it's another thing to look forward to, which really helps with depression. And be honest with husband and let him know what you're feeling. My husband had no clue how to handle me until I finally opened up and tried to explain what was going on in my head. (And I'm talking the stuff that you tell yourself that you will never tell anyone...that's the sort of stuff that's safe to share with your marital companion.) You are not alone. SO not alone. Do what you absolutely have to do and the fog will eventually start lifting. Talking to your doctor will probably help...if anything, medication can definitely take "the edge" off of your anxieties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug:Tina. I'm praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 :grouphug: I don't have experience with ppd but I have experience helping a friend cope with it. Hers got so bad that her husband had to call me to go over and escort her out of the house until he could get home. He didn't trust her with the children at that point. Others have told you to see your doctor about the ppd.....please do so. It can make everything else seem so much worse and effect how you are able to deal with other things. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know the hopeless feeling one gets when everything seems to be stacked against you. I think it is important to try to pay attention to those small things that occur during the day that bring joy or peace to you. Make taking care of yourself a priority; sleep deprivation and poor nutrition are only going to compound your issues. Simplify your life as much as possible. Can you get help with cleaning, errands, cooking? If not can you streamline these things at all? You mentioned being near 60 when your youngest graduates and that you don't know if you could homeschool that long...don't worry about that know. If you knew you weren't going to homeschool your youngest all the way through would it change anything you are doing now? If not then put it out of your mind for now. As for feeling trapped homeschooling the others...are there really no other options or are you feeling that if you choose another option you would feel as if you had in someway failed? If there truly are no other options then can you just focus on meeting the needs of one dc at a time? Once you've gotten one of them squared away move onto figuring out the next one. Don't try to re-structure everyone at the same time. I'll stop rambling...pick one thing at a time to work on. First thing on the list should be you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.