Christians, esp. women - can we discuss "vocation" or "calling?"

[Colleen in NS]

I haven't really formulated my questions/thoughts on this. But I want to know what you think about the topic of "vocation"/"calling." I'm not talking about the type of "vocation/calling" that some parts of N. American Christian culture chalk only up to "woman must stay at home/be a model wife/be a good mother/be a good homeschooler." For me as a homeschooler, it's a given that I'm going to do my best with educating my kids. I see it as a parental responsibility. And I'm going to work with my husband and kids to see that our home is taken care of/we are kept fed/clothed/healthy/doctored/clean/etc..

 

And I'm not talking about "what kind of job should I get when I'm done homeschooling?"

 

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you? How did you figure it out? Does it change over the years? How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

[K&Rs Mom]

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you? How did you figure it out? Does it change over the years? How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

The closest I've gotten is a certainty of "this makes sense for me now." Sometimes everything just seems to click into place, as if it's meant to be that way, and that feels pretty good - I'm happier when I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I do think it changes over time: if we're called to homeschool now, that won't last past the kids growing up, if that far. I think we ease into different vocations, with doors opening in new directions at the right time, not all at once with a major decision. I guess the help I've gotten has been people who are good examples of already living that vocation, who I want to imitate in some way, because I see why it's working for them and could be for me.

[Susan in KY]

Well, I see myself as having two vocations (homeschooling mom and p/t teacher-trainer), but my callings are raising kind and purposeful adults and supporting missionaries doing Bible translation in Africa. I enjoy my jobs, but I breathe my callings. It's a head/heart difference for me.

[Parrothead]

Being Catholic there were three options for vocation/calling - married life, single life, the convent.

 

There was never any question for me. I've always wanted to do what I'm doing now - wife and mom.

[Cindy in C-ville]

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you? How did you figure it out? Does it change over the years? How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

 

Colleen, you are hitting it for me. Honestly, I'm wrestling. In my teen/young adult years I didn't have a clue. A sense of calling, beyond the given motherhood/wife calling, has come to me through the years. I know, that I know, that I know that I am called to speak, write, and teach women how to find their identity in Christ, cultivate intimacy with Christ, and impact the world through Christ, AND work for social justice for women and children, particularly orphans. Yet, like Amy Carmichael, my feet are bound to home and hearth for this season. However, I think it is time for me to begin to invest in preparing myself for the day when the last little feet fly the nest. I'm considering starting an M.Div. program with a focus on Women's Studies. I'm not 100% sure that this is the direction to go, but I'm becoming more confirmed that this is the right direction.

 

Regarding how I got here ... while I was in my 20's I was asked to speak at women's retreats and found that I loved doing it and the women told me that they loved having me speak. Now, one church asks me back year after year. :) While we were still in C-ville, several college girls asked me to disciple them and so I wrote materials for us to use. Our former church wanted to start a discipleship program and so I wrote the materials for that. Through my blog, I've had the privilege of connecting with families who say that by reading our story of "welcoming Katya" their hearts were opened to adoption and now they are the parents of former Ukrainian orphans. This humbles me to no end. I've participated in Proverbs 31's She Speaks Conference a couple of times and have been encouraged each time, but still have the "yellow light." (Oh how I long for the green light.)

 

My focus during this still "yellow" season is to savor the "now" and steward the gifts God has given me. This means that as my years of true "momming" are in the single digits, that I will work to prepare for the next season while not despising this one. It truly goes so quickly.

 

I've let my blog lie dormant for several months while I'm sorting through what my writing/speaking/teaching should look like in this season. I'm still not sure. While I'm "here" my focus is on deeply connecting with the Lord, and faithfully caring for my husband and children. And, it may include beginning that M.Div. I'll keep you posted on that one!

[PeacefulChaos]

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you?

How did you figure it out? Does it change over the years? How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

 

Well, short answer, I've never been called to any vocation.

I went to college because I was expected to. And I wanted to. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life, but I was only 17 and I was convinced that what I wanted to do forever was what I enjoyed doing - and what I always got attention for doing - then. In college I debated majors a little - I wanted to be a vocal performance major (really not a great major, honestly), and ended up sort of settling on music education. But at the same time, I really wanted to take a lot of Bible classes (I went to a Christian liberal arts university). Three months in, I met DH, and 9 months after that, we got married.

I was kind of floundering my first year of college - in high school, there was a bit of the 'big fish in a little pond' type thing - and even though I wasn't in a really big pond in college, things didn't flow for me quite as seamlessly as they had in high school. I had to actually put forth effort, which I had never had to do before. I ended up dropping out after the first semester of my sophomore year.

As of now, I would not change a thing. I learned a lot about myself and, obviously, met DH. :D But for me, there was never a vocational calling. There never has been since. Do I still feel that I could learn endlessly about music and not get tired of it? Yes! But that doesn't really call me to a vocation, it just means I'm passionate about music. And, honestly, I LOVE to learn almost anything - I did go to the community college for a semester before DS7 was born, and did a lot of online classes, which I seriously LOVED. The whole college scene was never for me, so to speak. If I felt like I was going with a greater goal in mind, then I could handle it. But even then, I was still going with the intent of just getting what I needed and then...??? Who knew?

To me, I think that the reason I never had a vocational calling was preparing me for what I am now. I know you don't want to bring the homeschooling mom thing into it, but that's where I am now. I'm thinking maybe sometime when my life is going to change, or needs to change, then I'll feel a calling toward something else. There are occupations I could see myself in. I could still go into music. Since DD's NICU stint, I could see myself going to work there - getting whatever education I'd need to become a nurse of some sort, or a respiratory therapist (a HUGE part of her getting better). But none of those things are things that I *know* that I am called to, they are just random thoughts that go through my head. As the time grows nearer - whether its when DD goes to college or before, who knows - if there is something else I am meant to do, I'm sure that I'll know.

In the meantime, the only other thing that I feel 'called' to do is as much for missions as possible. That's something that's always been part of me, though. There was a brief period of time when I was on a missions trip in NYC this year that I could picture it - my whole life, with DH and the kids, living in NYC and doing all the missions work we could, every day. The thought of that still makes me wistful! But that isn't where we are right now - if the opportunity opened up, and DH agreed to it, trust me, I'd jump at the chance! But I know that isn't what is meant for us now, only that we need to support what goes on there as much as possible, and maybe even one of our kids would end up there, even if only as an intern for a year. Who knows? That was my first missions trip - maybe I'll always feel like that when I get home from one (DH went to Haiti in Feb, I went to NYC in June - the plan from now on is that at least one of us will go on a missions trip once a year. The kids can start going when they are old enough.) I don't know. But I know that missions is the only 'calling' I've ever had - and it wasn't necessarily a 'pack your bags and go there now' type thing. Just a 'do anything you possibly can' type thing. :) (Yes, I do believe that is something that rests on all of us as Christians - but I also believe that some 'feel' it a lot more than others). I feel the same about local outreaches - our church does one huge one a year and I would love to do many, many more, even if they couldn't be on as grand of a scale. But I digress...

Anyway, in my experience, there isn't a set formula for being called to something - vocationally or otherwise. I'm sure my reply did nothing whatsoever to answer the questions you were asking, and for that I'm sorry! :) Just relating my experiences.

:)

[Guest elizabelle]

I've only skimmed over the previous posts so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anyone.

As a Lutheran, I believe that what you are already doing in life is your vocation. God is using you through your role in this world. Being a mother, a baker, a candlestick maker are all vocations. There are many great books written on this topic, but one that comes to mind is God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life by Gene Veith.

Here is a quote:

When we pray the Lord's Prayer, observed Luther, we ask God to give us this day our daily bread. And He does give us our daily bread. He does it by means of the farmer who planted and harvested the grain, the baker who made the flour into bread, the person who prepared our meal. We might today add the truck drivers who hauled the produce, the factory workers in the food processing plant, the warehouse men, the wholesale distributors, the stock boys, the lady at the checkout counter. Also playing their part are the bankers, futures investors, advertisers, lawyers, agricultural scientists, mechanical engineers, and every other player in the nation's economic system. All of these were instrumental in enabling you to eat your morning bread.

Before you ate, you probably gave thanks to God for your food, as is fitting. He is caring for your physical needs, as with every other kind of need you have, preserving your life through His gifts. "He provides food for those who fear him" (Psalm 111:5); also to those who do not fear Him, "to all flesh" (136:25). And He does so by using other human beings. It is still God who is responsible for giving us our daily bread. Though He could give it to us directly, by a miraculous provision, as He once did for the children of Israel when He fed them daily with manna, God has chosen to work through human beings, who, in their different capacities and according to their different talents, serve each other. This is the doctrine of vocation.

- From God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life, by Dr. Gene Edward Veith.

[ChristusG]

I feel like I'm doing what God has called me to do. All through high school and early college, I struggled with exactly *what* I was supposed to be when I "grew up." Nothing ever settled with me, "called" to me, or seemed to fit right....until I had kids and began raising/homeschooling them. It just all seems to fit now.

[6packofun]

I've stopped believing in "a calling" because I think my calling is to follow Christ wherever he is going in my life right now. That IS going to change over my lifetime so I need to put on my walking shoes and just get going. When I come to a fork in the road, God will show me which way to turn...and I keep on walking.

 

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

I know that the Bible says that "some are called as..." teachers, pastors, whatever when speaking of spiritual gifts. But that doesn't mean I have to take that gift as my lot in life or something so permanent. Have gift, will travel! LOL

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've stopped believing in "a calling" because I think my calling is to follow Christ wherever he is going in my life right now. That IS going to change over my lifetime so I need to put on my walking shoes and just get going. When I come to a fork in the road, God will show me which way to turn...and I keep on walking.

 

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

I know that the Bible says that "some are called as..." teachers, pastors, whatever when speaking of spiritual gifts. But that doesn't mean I have to take that gift as my lot in life or something so permanent. Have gift, will travel! LOL

 

This is what I believe.

[Laurie4b]

Yes, I have a sense of calling. It has to do with keeping in step with the Spirit--listening to His voice. For me, it has been in a discernable direction since high school. There have been some shifts, but the general direction is the same. I certainly consider motherhood/being a wife part of my calling and for now, homeschooling my younger two. But I've always had an additional vocation in the church as well. Some of it is a particular set of spiritual gifts, but where and how I am using those is led by the Spirit at each juncture.

 

How did I know? I think vocation is discerned in community,--through not only one's individual prayer, but prayer with others, through other people's discernment and affirmation that God is using one in a particular way or calling one to a particular work.

[aggieamy]

Being Catholic there were three options for vocation/calling - married life, single life, the convent.

 

There was never any question for me. I've always wanted to do what I'm doing now - wife and mom.

 

:iagree:. I think I'm just following you around and agreeing today.

 

I secret hope that if DH and I ever have a son that he might get THE CALLING. :001_smile: I'd be so proud to have a son that was a priest, I think DH would rather have a son that was a professional skier though.

[BMW]

I love what 6pack said... Have gift, will travel!! I believe each of us has a purpose. There are lives each of us will touch, whether we recognize it at the time or not. I believe that God does gift each of us with something special, but I agree that our ministry and roles change many times during our lives... seasons come and go...

 

I oftentimes feel frustrated because for 21 years I was mostly a stay at home educator of the children, cook and housekeeper. I LOVED teaching my children to read and watching them grow up. But, I have also woken up many times just this year and wondered what to do now...

 

I have ALWAYS felt called to do something... I have felt that God, in His sovereignty, would use me (not for my own pride or glory). And it can be very frustrating wondering "is this it?"

 

Until I have some distinct direction and it all comes together, I believe my highest calling is to wake up and love all those that I come in contact with. That is one HUGE order, too.... I fail often.

[WishboneDawn]

What helped me was the Education for Ministry course offered through my diocese (but open to all Christians).

 

I know finding out out what your ministry is a different issue than vocation but it really did prompt me to look at my strengths, responsibilities, abilities, etc. and that will all be useful as I start to look at what I'll do after the kids are grown. Not that that will be anytime soon now.:glare:;)

Edited September 27, 2011 by WishboneDawn
added link

[Mama Geek]

I've only skimmed over the previous posts so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anyone.

As a Lutheran, I believe that what you are already doing in life is your vocation. God is using you through your role in this world. Being a mother, a baker, a candlestick maker are all vocations. There are many great books written on this topic, but one that comes to mind is God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life by Gene Veith.

Here is a quote:

When we pray the Lord's Prayer, observed Luther, we ask God to give us this day our daily bread. And He does give us our daily bread. He does it by means of the farmer who planted and harvested the grain, the baker who made the flour into bread, the person who prepared our meal. We might today add the truck drivers who hauled the produce, the factory workers in the food processing plant, the warehouse men, the wholesale distributors, the stock boys, the lady at the checkout counter. Also playing their part are the bankers, futures investors, advertisers, lawyers, agricultural scientists, mechanical engineers, and every other player in the nation's economic system. All of these were instrumental in enabling you to eat your morning bread.

Before you ate, you probably gave thanks to God for your food, as is fitting. He is caring for your physical needs, as with every other kind of need you have, preserving your life through His gifts. "He provides food for those who fear him" (Psalm 111:5); also to those who do not fear Him, "to all flesh" (136:25). And He does so by using other human beings. It is still God who is responsible for giving us our daily bread. Though He could give it to us directly, by a miraculous provision, as He once did for the children of Israel when He fed them daily with manna, God has chosen to work through human beings, who, in their different capacities and according to their different talents, serve each other. This is the doctrine of vocation.

- From God at Work: Your Christian Vocation in All of Life, by Dr. Gene Edward Veith.

 

Welcome Elizabelle - your post really struck me. I have grown up in the Lutheran church, but have only ever attended one church for a short while where I had heard vocation discussed like this and it really makes sense to me.

 

I get the impression that the OP understands part if not all of this because she did make a distinction in the end of her post that she is talking about specifically what she could do for employment.

 

I worked for well more than 10 years and I will be in my mid 50's by the time dd is ready for college (our current plans are to homeschool all the way through.) The major I picked came about because I really enjoyed a business calc class that I took my first semester in college. The professor was incredible and I took Calc 1 with her the next semester. I ended up changing my major to engineering because of her and some encouragement from my dh. I met him my freshman year and was married my sophomore year. The engineering didn't come naturally for me, I struggled a lot both through school and in the work place. In my last job which was a contract job I was leading engineers and designers. So even though I struggled I became successful and learned more than I could have dreamed. It is what I thought I would be doing until retirement age.

 

Somewhere along the way, my heart changed from not wanting to have kids to wanting to stay home, homeschool, and have a house full of kids. It wasn't a change that happened overnight. But I now have a beautiful dd who really is a blessing to us. My dh is a contractor and I could easily do the same. We have even discussed me taking a job now and then and him staying home with dd in order to keep me somewhat current, in case something happens to him. I think it is a good idea, but even after being home with my dd for almost 1 1/2 years, I would rather still be home with her now.

 

I don't know what God has in store for me when she is out of the house. That still seems like a long time away, but I am trying to be open and to hear if God has plans for that time for me.

 

I often see threads about looking for fulfillment in a career once their kids are older. I believe that I would be happy to be retired in 18-20 years and to not have to go back to work. I guess maybe it is a BTDT type of thing.

 

I don't know if I have helped the OP or not. I just thought I would try to share a little of my journey.

[....]

I looked this up in our Lutheranism 101 book once. :D It basically says...you're free to do whatever you want (as long as it's not a sin, obviously)...if you want to be a plumber, go be a plumber! If you want to move to Jacksonville, move to Jacksonville!

 

There is no way a person can make their decisions by trying to figure out what God wants them to do. We're incapable of knowing what God wants.

 

That was basically the gist of it.

[....]

The closest I've gotten is a certainty of "this makes sense for me now."

 

:iagree:I tend to be very left-brained and this is how my mind operates, too.

[Heather in Neverland]

An excellent book on this topic is Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. It changed my entire perspective on this topic. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Something-Decision-Without/dp/1596448687/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1317123917&sr=8-4

[Pretty in Pink]

I've stopped believing in "a calling" because I think my calling is to follow Christ wherever he is going in my life right now. That IS going to change over my lifetime so I need to put on my walking shoes and just get going. When I come to a fork in the road, God will show me which way to turn...and I keep on walking.

 

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

I know that the Bible says that "some are called as..." teachers, pastors, whatever when speaking of spiritual gifts. But that doesn't mean I have to take that gift as my lot in life or something so permanent. Have gift, will travel! LOL

 

I couldn't have said it better myself. :iagree:

[Sevilla]

For me, vocation calling means that I can sense God's peace in the ways I am involved in using my gifts/talents. Sometimes a calling is very stretching outside of my comfort zone, sometimes it is more comfortable and I am able to be used to connect with many people. Right now I feel that I am fulfilling my calling, but I don't know that I'll be in this place forever and I anticipate further schooling/job change as I grow older and my kids grow older. i'm open to it.

[8circles]

I've stopped believing in "a calling" because I think my calling is to follow Christ wherever he is going in my life right now. That IS going to change over my lifetime so I need to put on my walking shoes and just get going. When I come to a fork in the road, God will show me which way to turn...and I keep on walking.

 

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

I know that the Bible says that "some are called as..." teachers, pastors, whatever when speaking of spiritual gifts. But that doesn't mean I have to take that gift as my lot in life or something so permanent. Have gift, will travel! LOL

:iagree:with this & Bee also. I think we try to make things so complicated that aren't.

[momma aimee]

I haven't really formulated my questions/thoughts on this. But I want to know what you think about the topic of "vocation"/"calling." I'm not talking about the type of "vocation/calling" that some parts of N. American Christian culture chalk only up to "woman must stay at home/be a model wife/be a good mother/be a good homeschooler." For me as a homeschooler, it's a given that I'm going to do my best with educating my kids. I see it as a parental responsibility. And I'm going to work with my husband and kids to see that our home is taken care of/we are kept fed/clothed/healthy/doctored/clean/etc..

 

And I'm not talking about "what kind of job should I get when I'm done homeschooling?"

 

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you? How did you figure it out? Does it change over the years? How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

I hope this makes sense to someone.

 

Yes it changes, Seasons of our life change anf God's use of us changes

[Chris in VA]

I've stopped believing in "a calling" because I think my calling is to follow Christ wherever he is going in my life right now. That IS going to change over my lifetime so I need to put on my walking shoes and just get going. When I come to a fork in the road, God will show me which way to turn...and I keep on walking.

 

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

I know that the Bible says that "some are called as..." teachers, pastors, whatever when speaking of spiritual gifts. But that doesn't mean I have to take that gift as my lot in life or something so permanent. Have gift, will travel! LOL

 

:iagree:

 

I think discerning where your spiritual gifts lie is pretty important, but I also believe that you are not always called to use those gifts in the way you might think. Further, sometimes we get awfully comfortable with our gifts, and God, in His wisdom, may want to stretch us into an area where we are not as equipped naturally (or with a spiritual gift)--it's in those places we can allow God to provide for us, depending totally on him, which is to His Glory, isn't it? When we know our success is not from us, we can see more clearly that it is from Him. (That is not to say we will even have "success" in the World's way--sometimes failure, massive; uncomfortable; terrible, even; Failure, is the Purpose.)

 

So sometimes, God calls us to total, utter dependence in a new way, and if we have put a box around our "calling," we can miss the blessing that comes from walking in the dark places, where there isn't even light enough for one step--but where we are still able to walk, because we hold the very Hand of the Light.

Edited September 27, 2011 by Chris in VA

[Michelle in AL]

For me, I got my calling while in college. It was what you would call the "lightning bolt experience." I was a business major, and while walking across campus one day, the thought came to me that I should go into nursing. I did and have been happy with my decision ever since.

 

I also felt called to be a SAHM, and did that for a long season. I then was pretty much forced back into work and after a very log hiatus, actually landed a job in nursing and am going back to school for my masters full time.

 

My job now is very difficult, physically and mentally, but I do love it 80% of the time. I feel like it is where I'm supposed to be.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I feel like I got my calling when I was 12 years old, and it was confirmed multiple times throughout the years.

 

BUT....

 

Now that I've been trying to walk in it for the last 8 or so years, I am having massive doubts. God is not allowing any open doors for me. So the thing I KNEW was my calling is turning out to be a massive pile of frustration and disappointment.

 

Wow, that totally doesn't answer the OP's question! I've been no help at all, only to say that I guess we really can't know for sure, because even when we think we do, it might not be correct at all :confused:

[justamouse]

What calling? Where? :D

 

Right now my job is to be a wife and mother and teacher to these kids. My plate is full. I trust that if there's something down the line I'm going to be doing,. God will prepare me for the task or order my life in such a way that I'll know what I have to do.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I haven't really formulated my questions/thoughts on this. But I want to know what you think about the topic of "vocation"/"calling." I'm not talking about the type of "vocation/calling" that some parts of N. American Christian culture chalk only up to "woman must stay at home/be a model wife/be a good mother/be a good homeschooler." For me as a homeschooler, it's a given that I'm going to do my best with educating my kids. I see it as a parental responsibility. And I'm going to work with my husband and kids to see that our home is taken care of/we are kept fed/clothed/healthy/doctored/clean/etc..

 

And I'm not talking about "what kind of job should I get when I'm done homeschooling?"

 

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you?I kind of look at it as something that uses my God-given abilities talents and passions to be an example of His character and love here. How did you figure it out? I remember thinking when I was a kid that being a missionary would be the most amazing thing ever! I don't know if I can call it a calling or a "religious experience" exactly--but I did develop a love and passion for other cultures and traveling. Does it change over the years?The only thing that has changed for me was the destination of where I felt "called" to go. How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? I think that as we walk with God He guides us and our steps. He gives us our giftings and passions for a reason and I think it's to glorify Him. I think that where ever we are and what ever we are doing we are an example of Jesus on the earth. I don't know if we can "miss" His plan for us if we are seeking Him. He makes it clear and we have choices. Did it become obvious through life experience? Through higher education? Through a lightning bolt realization? Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? My parents would cultivate my love of cultures by bringing me to every missionary service they could find or by talking with me about other places I would like to go and see. They were wonderful at keeping it in front of me without pushing me. I love them for that. If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life?

 

I hope this makes sense to someone.It makes sense to me Colleen!;)

 

:)

[Colleen in NS]

I'm thinking about all your replies, and will try to come up with more specific questions later this evening.

 

:bigear:

[6packofun]

This IS a good book! Great suggestion.

[SnowWhite]

For me, it has been a combination of my aptitudes, abilities and interests with my opportunities and encouragement of my family and friends.

 

As a teen, I found a calling in teaching Amish school.

 

In my twenties I found a calling as a Special Education teacher. Before that, I also ministered informally to the teens at the Dairy Queen where I was a manager (paying for college). There was lots of angst among them and I provided a wise and understanding shoulder many times.

 

As a homeschooling Mom I have had opportunities to form a homeschool group and coordinate a Christmas program and numerous seasonal parties for kids from our church who homeschool. It's been a combination of passion for kids' fellowship opportunities and the "Nobody Else Will Do It" situation. When my toddler was born I stepped back from that role and am currently trying to accomplish my chief calling (the one you didn't want to hear about: wife/mommy/homemaker/homeschool teacher) capably.

[texasmama]

God called me to be a social worker in one lightening bolt moment the summer after my freshman year of college. I was floundering about my major, going from English to journalism restlessly. I had a friend who was a social work major. I don't think I had ever heard of social work prior to that. I recall sitting in the back seat of my parents' car riding home from church or something. My dad was driving. My brother was in the front seat. My mom was not with us. I said out loud, "I think I will declare a social work major". I felt a chill go through me and instantly I knew that was my "calling". I was 19. I went on to get a bachelor's and a master's degree, both in social work. I don't believe that everyone has that sort of experience or that it is necessary. I don't know why I did...but I did. And it changed the course of my life.

[cathmom]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned "A Mother's Rule of Life" by Holly Pierlot. It's a good read that talks about vocation from a Catholic perspective (but others can benefit too) and then explores the married vocation. I highly recommend it!

[Liz CA]

First it was motherhood and raising a child, schooling a child. Now it is evolving into other areas of ministry. I know I have a calling to help others, primarily in a psychological / redirecting / life challenges kind of way. My education was in that field and I don't think it has changed significantly over the years.

[Colleen in NS]

Many thanks to all who contributed - you all got me thinking!

 

I guess the help I've gotten has been people who are good examples of already living that vocation, who I want to imitate in some way, because I see why it's working for them and could be for me.

 

Are you able to give me some specific examples of what you mean?

 

Colleen, you are hitting it for me. Honestly, I'm wrestling. In my teen/young adult years I didn't have a clue. A sense of calling, beyond the given motherhood/wife calling, has come to me through the years. I know, that I know, that I know that I am called to speak, write, and teach women how to find their identity in Christ, cultivate intimacy with Christ, and impact the world through Christ, AND work for social justice for women and children, particularly orphans. Yet, like Amy Carmichael, my feet are bound to home and hearth for this season. However, I think it is time for me to begin to invest in preparing myself for the day when the last little feet fly the nest. I'm considering starting an M.Div. program with a focus on Women's Studies. I'm not 100% sure that this is the direction to go, but I'm becoming more confirmed that this is the right direction.

 

Regarding how I got here ... while I was in my 20's I was asked to speak at women's retreats and found that I loved doing it and the women told me that they loved having me speak. Now, one church asks me back year after year. :) While we were still in C-ville, several college girls asked me to disciple them and so I wrote materials for us to use. Our former church wanted to start a discipleship program and so I wrote the materials for that. Through my blog, I've had the privilege of connecting with families who say that by reading our story of "welcoming Katya" their hearts were opened to adoption and now they are the parents of former Ukrainian orphans. This humbles me to no end. I've participated in Proverbs 31's She Speaks Conference a couple of times and have been encouraged each time, but still have the "yellow light." (Oh how I long for the green light.)

 

My focus during this still "yellow" season is to savor the "now" and steward the gifts God has given me. This means that as my years of true "momming" are in the single digits, that I will work to prepare for the next season while not despising this one. It truly goes so quickly.

 

I've let my blog lie dormant for several months while I'm sorting through what my writing/speaking/teaching should look like in this season. I'm still not sure. While I'm "here" my focus is on deeply connecting with the Lord, and faithfully caring for my husband and children. And, it may include beginning that M.Div. I'll keep you posted on that one!

 

Cindy, thanks for sharing so many details! That was really helpful. So it seems that you "knew that you knew that you knew," much because of your past experiences and opportunities, and how much you enjoyed them and how much others enjoyed you doing those things, yes? I will be waiting to hear about your future possible studies!

 

But I've always had an additional vocation in the church as well.

 

How did I know? I think vocation is discerned in community,--through not only one's individual prayer, but prayer with others, through other people's discernment and affirmation that God is using one in a particular way or calling one to a particular work.

 

What do you mean by an additional vocation in the church? And, thanks for explaining how you knew - that was helpful to me, too.

 

What helped me was the Education for Ministry course offered through my diocese (but open to all Christians).

 

I know finding out out what your ministry is a different issue than vocation but it really did prompt me to look at my strengths, responsibilities, abilities, etc. and that will all be useful as I start to look at what I'll do after the kids are grown. Not that that will be anytime soon now.:glare:;)

 

Will you elaborate more on the bolded part? How did it prompt you?

 

I worked for well more than 10 years and I will be in my mid 50's by the time dd is ready for college (our current plans are to homeschool all the way through.) The major I picked came about because I really enjoyed a business calc class that I took my first semester in college. The professor was incredible and I took Calc 1 with her the next semester. I ended up changing my major to engineering because of her and some encouragement from my dh. I met him my freshman year and was married my sophomore year. The engineering didn't come naturally for me, I struggled a lot both through school and in the work place. In my last job which was a contract job I was leading engineers and designers. So even though I struggled I became successful and learned more than I could have dreamed.

 

Thanks for sharing your helpful story, too. The bolded part is esp. intriguing to me - what about this professor made you decide to switch to engineering - esp. because you say it didn't come naturally to you and that you struggled?

 

I started off this thread with the idea in mind that a vocation would be something that came naturally to someone, but maybe not always so? Or did engineering eventually become natural for you? Did you end up loving doing it? Was there something that drew you to it, despite it being unnatural?

[Colleen in NS]

I don't know that it has to be more complex than that. :)

 

There is no way a person can make their decisions by trying to figure out what God wants them to do. We're incapable of knowing what God wants.

 

I think my OP was a bit jumbled. I'm not really looking specifically for how Christian women knew what God's will was for them (I have BTDT many times in my 20s - it was very anxiety-producing, lol). I'm more just looking for how people knew what vocations they were called to - I am familiar with how many people are called to homeschooling, but I am not familiar with how people are called to vocations such as doctoring, nursing, lawyering, teaching, writing, engineering, social work, math-ing, tutoring, scientific researching, foreign-languaging, painting/drawing/sculpting, music-ing, etc. etc. I mean, I know many people do things in these fields (and many others I am not even aware of - I never went to college/university and had a terrible high school education) - but some people seem to really feel that these jobs/fields are their vocation in life, even while they are doing things like mothering/cooking/homeschooling/budgeting/grocery-shopping/etc..

 

An excellent book on this topic is Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung. It changed my entire perspective on this topic. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Do-Something-Decision-Without/dp/1596448687/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1317123917&sr=8-4

 

I had a look at this, and it looks like something that would have spoken to me around 10-15 years ago. But I think you are somewhere near my age (43), and so I wonder how it changed your perspective - what did you think before, and what changed?

 

For me, vocation calling means that I can sense God's peace in the ways I am involved in using my gifts/talents. Sometimes a calling is very stretching outside of my comfort zone, sometimes it is more comfortable and I am able to be used to connect with many people.

 

Can you please elaborate more specifically (if you are comfortable in doing so)? Specifically on using your gifts/talents, and on stretching outside your comfort zone or being comfortable.

 

:iagree:

 

I think discerning where your spiritual gifts lie is pretty important, but I also believe that you are not always called to use those gifts in the way you might think. Further, sometimes we get awfully comfortable with our gifts, and God, in His wisdom, may want to stretch us into an area where we are not as equipped naturally (or with a spiritual gift)--it's in those places we can allow God to provide for us, depending totally on him, which is to His Glory, isn't it? When we know our success is not from us, we can see more clearly that it is from Him. (That is not to say we will even have "success" in the World's way--sometimes failure, massive; uncomfortable; terrible, even; Failure, is the Purpose.)

 

So sometimes, God calls us to total, utter dependence in a new way, and if we have put a box around our "calling," we can miss the blessing that comes from walking in the dark places, where there isn't even light enough for one step--but where we are still able to walk, because we hold the very Hand of the Light.

 

Do you have any specific examples of what you mean? I wasn't specifically talking about spiritual gifts, but I want to understand where you are coming from.

 

For me, I got my calling while in college. It was what you would call the "lightning bolt experience." I was a business major, and while walking across campus one day, the thought came to me that I should go into nursing. I did and have been happy with my decision ever since.

 

God called me to be a social worker in one lightening bolt moment the summer after my freshman year of college. I was floundering about my major, going from English to journalism restlessly. I had a friend who was a social work major. I don't think I had ever heard of social work prior to that. I recall sitting in the back seat of my parents' car riding home from church or something. My dad was driving. My brother was in the front seat. My mom was not with us. I said out loud, "I think I will declare a social work major". I felt a chill go through me and instantly I knew that was my "calling". I was 19. I went on to get a bachelor's and a master's degree, both in social work. I don't believe that everyone has that sort of experience or that it is necessary. I don't know why I did...but I did. And it changed the course of my life.

 

Funny, I didn't really think anyone would tell a lightning bolt experience story, but you two did! Thank you! Was there ANY kind of inkling about your switches, before your experiences? Anything that caught your curiosity that got you thinking about the switch, and perhaps made you more open to it?

 

I know I have a calling to help others, primarily in a psychological / redirecting / life challenges kind of way. My education was in that field and I don't think it has changed significantly over the years.

 

So do you think your education in that field helped you to discern your vocation?

 

For me, it has been a combination of my aptitudes, abilities and interests with my opportunities and encouragement of my family and friends.

 

Thanks for sharing your whole story - it was helpful, too.

[WishboneDawn]

Will you elaborate more on the bolded part? How did it prompt you?

 

 

We did specific exercises, spiritual reflections, readings, etc. related to our readings from the text, Bible and other sources that encouraged a lot of thought about what we were called to do in our lay ministry. In that process we had to consider our experiences, skills, talents, etc. The fellowship involved also helped with that.

 

It's hard to get more specific about it because it was so dependent on the course. For instance, I learned I'm generally pretty good at distilling complicated ideas and communicating them in different ways so people with different perspectives can understand. This wasn't because there was a specific activity targeted to rooting that out but because the process allowed that to come out over the term of the course. That led to thinking about what that skill was good for and how I use it. Well, I homeschool the kids for one and it's been very useful there. I'm a Girl Guide leader. Seems my ministry might be one of teaching. And I'll probably start training next year to become a mentor for the same course online.

 

And that has got me thinking about jobs that involve teaching/mentoring/training. That was something I hadn't considered for myself before the course.

 

I don't know if that helps. EFM is very unique and it's hard to relate what it does for a person.

[texasmama]

Funny, I didn't really think anyone would tell a lightning bolt experience story, but you two did! Thank you! Was there ANY kind of inkling about your switches, before your experiences? Anything that caught your curiosity that got you thinking about the switch, and perhaps made you more open to it?

 

Nope, no inkling. The words came out of my mouth, and I got immediate confirmation. I was just spouting off my random thoughts at the time without much going into them really. It was weird, dude.:D

 

I really think the lightning bolt experience is pretty rare. For reasons unknown to me, I evidently needed one.

 

I should also say that my career has always taken a back seat to my family since my kids were born. I always knew that it would. I spent about 7 years doing nothing professional at all, just being a mom. I also have the impression that something is in my future career-wise, some sort of "final goal", if you will. I know I have not reached it yet, and I have no idea what it is. When I get there, I think it will all fall into place, and I will see that everything else led up to and prepared me for it.

[dmrranch]

 

I think discerning where your spiritual gifts lie is pretty important, but I also believe that you are not always called to use those gifts in the way you might think. Further, sometimes we get awfully comfortable with our gifts, and God, in His wisdom, may want to stretch us into an area where we are not as equipped naturally (or with a spiritual gift)--it's in those places we can allow God to provide for us, depending totally on him, which is to His Glory, isn't it? When we know our success is not from us, we can see more clearly that it is from Him. (That is not to say we will even have "success" in the World's way--sometimes failure, massive; uncomfortable; terrible, even; Failure, is the Purpose.)

 

So sometimes, God calls us to total, utter dependence in a new way, and if we have put a box around our "calling," we can miss the blessing that comes from walking in the dark places, where there isn't even light enough for one step--but where we are still able to walk, because we hold the very Hand of the Light.

 

So many wonderful things already said so I will TRY to keep it brief. :D (You know me Colleen)

 

So, ditto, ditto, and more dittos :001_smile: to the post above! Oh I could write a book about my life:tongue_smilie:. We have all heard that saying before. However, deep down inside I just wonder if God is calling me to that due to what I've learned in my life experiences. (Well, there, not it is out there!) I haven't really told anyone because I have been in that quiet place waiting for God's timing and confirmation. However, I have NEVER considered myself to be a writer. That is NOT my strong suit. As a matter of fact, that was one of my insecurities about homeschooling seven years ago...could I teach my daughter to read??? How could I help my older daughter that already had language difficulties??? Now, I have a 4 year old boy that is already showing me he is ready to read AND write. Oh my...I'm more comfortable with math and science!

 

Well, through the years God has shown me that HE equips the called and boy I have a lot of life experiences...some I'm not so proud of and that I do not particulary enjoy talking about. I just have to be willing and waiting for HIS timing. I believe I am more able to be "in the zone" for that when I am studying HIS word and pick up the phone (pray) and talk to him on a daily basis!

 

When I am not so good with this, He will give me a little shoulder tap sort of to say, "Hey, I miss you! Where have you been? I've been here all along! Come back and see me sometime. I have some things I want to share with you!"

 

So, all of that to say, when I graduated from high school I was groomed to go out and conquer the world, get that education, and make lots of money. Asking God what He wanted me to do was not in my vocabulary.

 

I did get that education and worked and had a family. When I felt led to come home and raise my family I could not believe it! I thought I was that career woman. Well, I kept a home based business going and then about 6 years ago I started praying for something different. I knew I needed something different. Well, about 3 years later I was still praying and then God told me that I needed to let go of this one little part of the business I was doing before he could give me something new. Well, it was hard. I was hanging on with clenched fists. Then, I let go. Then, 3 MORE years of praying..."Lord I will be obedient and do what I am doing because I know you will bring something to me when I am ready." Then, finally, there it was! In my case, we need extra money to come in for me to be able to stay home. I know in my heart, the Lord is showing us a way to work out of our debt but that for now homeschooling my children is a priority over a career but he will bless me with a way to do both and keep a balance.

 

I hope this makes sense...need more coffee... I could go on and on.

 

God Bless You!

Love,

Deborah

[DawnM]

I just look at it as your God given passions.

 

Honestly, my heart is still in the inner city counseling middle and high school students. I miss it terribly. I did it for over 16 years.

 

Staying at home and homeschooling a tough for me, but it is the right thing for my kids.

 

Dawn

[HSMom2One]

I believe that first, it's all about having a personal relationship with God and listening to what He's speaking into your heart and mind, and what He reveals through other believers, through circumstances and through the Word. Understanding your calling also has to do with recognizing your own areas of passion and areas of gifting. It may or may not be that a person is called to serve in a vocation or profession that leads to income. For me personally, it simply means being obedient by serving God to the best of my ability with what He has given me.

 

When I finally came to a place of full submission to the Lord, my desire was to do just that. I wanted to offer all that I am and am able to do to serving Him. For instance, my passion for art shifted to making art to the glory of God. Teaching art shifted to teaching with a Christian worldview (rather than passing on the world's view of what art is or should be, as I had in the past). Raising the child God gave me late in life became raising my child with the goal of passing on my faith, which included providing her with a solid Christian education.

 

Along with this my prayer life shifted to not only praying for my needs and that of my family, but to interceding for others in their time of need. This was something that over a period of about a year the Lord revealed to me through thoughts, dreams, waking me up at night and then by circumstances. It was dramatic, as I ended up being at an international prayer and fasting conference in Seoul, S. Korea - somewhere I had never in a million years expected to be. It was obvious to me that this was God's assignment for my life, but I have to confess that I've often responded with kicking and screaming, and sometimes by shear laziness. I have to agree with Chris from Va when she said that sometimes God calls a person to something that is not natural to them, causing them to stretch in many ways.

 

So for me, these three areas of art, prayer and teaching (both art and hs'ing my dd) are what I know and recognize as my "calling". Two of them just come natural to me, but the third is a real struggle, and only one of these areas of calling provides an income.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[laughing lioness]

I mean, what does "vocation/calling" mean to you? How did you figure it out? It's been a long journey of reading, mulling, wrestling, thinking, etc. Does it change over the years? The vocation has remained the same but the out working of it has changed. How do you know (practically and theologically or philosophically) what vocation God is calling you to? It hasn't been a lightening bolt revelation. It's been a more of what do I do naturally? what do I need to do to maintain my own sense of peace and connection to God? Did it become obvious through life experience? Yes. Through higher education? No. This was simply training. Through a lightning bolt realization? No. Did you receive help in your teen/early adulthood years in order to figure it out? No. If you didn't, how did you receive this help later on in your life? Mentors; most often met through the pages of a book. Faith in God's good plan for me. Prayer. Walking out what was in front of me to do.

 

I've been reading L'Engle's Circle of Quiet and she actually addreses this as she writes about her need to write.

I have felt called to counsel, minister, write, pray, create, teach. How I've lived this out has taken various forms over the years, and has often been something I've done on a volunteer basis than as a paid professional. My vocation is something I need to do. I need to create. I need to write. I need to pray. It is a natural outpouring of myself and when I don't do these things, when I don't live out my vocation and calling, I become miserable and depressed.

Edited September 29, 2011 by laughing lioness

[Sputterduck]

I just look at it as your God given passions.

 

Honestly, my heart is still in the inner city counseling middle and high school students. I miss it terribly. I did it for over 16 years.

 

Staying at home and homeschooling a tough for me, but it is the right thing for my kids.

 

Dawn

 

I think it's that, but also something more. I mean, Moses and Jonah didn't want to do what God called them to do. Yet, they were called anyway.

[HSMom2One]

After posting earlier this morning I picked up my little devotional by Oswald Chambers and was not surprised to see that today's entry has to do with this very subject. The title of this entry is, The Consciousness of the Call and it is so good! Here is a quote from the last paragraph, which sums up his words well:

 

"If a man or woman is called of God, it does not matter how untoward circumstances are, every force that has been at work will tell for God's purpose in the end. If you agree with God's purpose He will bring not only your conscious life, but all the deeper regions of your life which you can not get at, into harmony."

If you have a copy of My Utmost for His Highest, I highly recommend the whole reading for today.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Sputterduck]

I feel like I got my calling when I was 12 years old, and it was confirmed multiple times throughout the years.

 

BUT....

 

Now that I've been trying to walk in it for the last 8 or so years, I am having massive doubts. God is not allowing any open doors for me. So the thing I KNEW was my calling is turning out to be a massive pile of frustration and disappointment.

 

Wow, that totally doesn't answer the OP's question! I've been no help at all, only to say that I guess we really can't know for sure, because even when we think we do, it might not be correct at all :confused:

 

Perhaps you weren't wrong. Perhaps the timing is off. When my missionary stuff started it all opened up without me having "try" to walk anything. Everything fell into place in front of me all at exactly the right timing. I knew previously that I was going to be one, and I tried looking around for stuff, but nothing opened up until the timing was right and BOOM everything went perfectly.

[laughing lioness]

After reading the other replies again I wanted to add:

 

For me, being married and having kids is not something I felt "called" to do though I do belive it is, ultimately my calling. I never imagined my wedding day or how many kids I'd have as child. It wasn't something I wanted to do and until I choose to follow Christ at the age of 21 it wasn't on my list of "to do's. I'm very task oriented and like to work. Staying home and being a care-taker is not really in my natural "skill set." That being said, I do believe that I am "called" to be married, have kids and homeschool. The getting married part was a clear directive (i.e.lightening bolt) from God regarding "get married," "here's who." The having kids evolved as we struggled with getting pregnant at various times, through reading and gaining a clearer sense of who I was in relation to Christ and His purposes. The homeschooling was something I "knew" I would do long before I had kids. I don't know how I knew, I couldn't have even "named" what it was (in a time before anyone homeshcooled). I just "knew" I would homeschool if I ever had any kids.

[Sputterduck]

I looked this up in our Lutheranism 101 book once. :D It basically says...you're free to do whatever you want (as long as it's not a sin, obviously)...if you want to be a plumber, go be a plumber! If you want to move to Jacksonville, move to Jacksonville!

 

There is no way a person can make their decisions by trying to figure out what God wants them to do. We're incapable of knowing what God wants.

 

That was basically the gist of it.

 

You don't think that God can communicate with you? Is He not capable of anything and everything? Wouldn't that include communicating with you in a way you can understand?

[Liz CA]

Did you mean how it felt when we knew we were heading in the right direction? It's a passion. You don't just close the door when you leave for home after working, you think about areas you would like to research more, learn more, etc.

Even after getting out of the workforce and being a mother for all these years, the subject is never far from my mind.

[laughing lioness]

I feel like I got my calling when I was 12 years old, and it was confirmed multiple times throughout the years.

 

BUT....

 

Now that I've been trying to walk in it for the last 8 or so years, I am having massive doubts. God is not allowing any open doors for me. So the thing I KNEW was my calling is turning out to be a massive pile of frustration and disappointment.

 

Wow, that totally doesn't answer the OP's question! I've been no help at all, only to say that I guess we really can't know for sure, because even when we think we do, it might not be correct at all :confused:

 

L'Engle addresses this in her book "A Circle of Quiet." She talks about her "decade of failure" and how she had to come to terms with herself as a writer -someone she WAS- regardless of getting outside acknowledgment or pay for writing. I believe that this struggle with our calling and how it manifests itself in our lives (or not) is fairly common. I personally would love to get paid for the work that I do as I live out my vocation. To date I've generated very little income. Do I quit living my calling? It's tempting, but I can't un-make myself.

My dh and I both have come up against brick walls in living out our vocation. It IS disouraging. This week I was SO discouraged because of road blocks. ARGH. My dd wrote this on a prominant place in our dining room, "Do not be discouraged or dismayed, for the Lord God is with you." HE has NOT forgotten what He has called you to do!

[dmrranch]

"Do not be discouraged or dismayed, for the Lord God is with you."

 

Amen!

 

I was in a dark place before I saw the light. I had accepted Christ as my savior as a young child but was not doing my part to do my best to walk in his way. I was not asking God what I should and shouldn't do. I had no idea what that was supposed to look like. I was a task master/planner/set your sights high kind of person. During that time there were lots of struggles some of which are too personal to mention right now. God was there all along...I had MY back turned away from HIM until about 7-8 years ago. I went to church. I prayed. I loved God but I wasn't really living FOR Him.

 

When I turned toward him, things were not necessarily easier, faster, my way, etc etc. However, I felt his presence. I knew he was there. He is always there. Remember, I told you earlier that it took SIX years of waiting upon the Lord before things started looking better in MY eyes. During that time, there was more of a struggle. Things seemed harder but I guess God was grooming me for what was/is to come.

 

(Please note, I guess you can see by my sig that I've lost a child. That actually happened AFTER I started living my life more for him than myself and before I prayed for a change in "career/vocation". I was doing my best to be obedient to God's Word. This is not the "dark" time of my life I am referring to in the first paragraph. That time of my life was actually during high school and college. So, when she passed away it was at a time in my life when I had a better relationship with the Lord than I had ever had. Thank goodness! Just wanted to mention that.) :)

 

 

Blessings,

Edited September 29, 2011 by dmrranch
To clarify

[Rosy]

I don't think of vocation and calling necessarily being the same thing. A vocation can be something one does financially to support oneself to live out one's calling. I don't think one is necessarily called to be a plumber, an account manager, a doctor, etc. I believe we have freedom in Christ to do what we enjoy and what uses our gifts.

 

However, I do think there are limitations to this. Someone might enjoy caring for people medically, but not have the means to go to med school. That person might be better off being a nurse (please don't interpret this as a slight against nurses). Someone might not be academically-oriented enough to pursue higher ed and would need to consider vocations that require less education. And some people (like me) are limited by our family situations and do not have the ability to work outside the home.

 

I am called to follow Christ. Because I am a mother, following Christ means raising my kids in a way that pleases God and trains them to follow Him. I am called to follow Christ, and since I am a wife I follow what I believe the Bible tells me about my relationship with my husband. I am called to follow Christ, so I use my gifts to serve my local church. I am called to follow Christ, so I have a passion for the lost and the poor. None of these necessarily translates into a vocation. If I was a single mom, caring for my kids would require me to provide financially for them. I plan someday to finish my education someday and possibly work as a community college teacher. I don't think of it as a calling, except that I am called to care for my kids and working will help get them through college.