My 9yo is embarrassed about her hairy legs.

[Alveraz]

Well, I thought I had my facts straight, so I apologize if I misunderstood. After this reply, I am definitely less curious about your opinions!

 

I've just been misquoted 3 times today and it's becoming a little irritating. Sorry it put you off.

 

I think her shaving is totally fine and her mom and her can make the call. I'm as liberal as it gets in that department. However she said her husband has an opinion about this and is nervous about telling him. Then another member suggested she hide it from him. If that's sound advice to you, so be it. It felt like lying to me and I mentioned it. That's all.

[AngelBee]

If it embarrasses her, then of course you must let her shave, regardless of her age.

 

:iagree: Or maybe use a buffer that rubs the hair off.

[laundrycrisis]

I would let her shave regardless of what her father, grandmother, or anyone else thinks. It is her body and her embarrassment. What her father, grandparents or anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

 

Those buffers are dangerous. They can rub the skin right off. Shaving is safer.

 

IMO girls do not need anyone's permission to decide when to start shaving, or managing their eyebrows, any more than they need permission to blow their nose or brush their teeth.

Edited August 4, 2011 by laundrycrisis

[Ellie]

I honestly never even thought to ask/tell dh before she shaved. She wanted to and there was a need so I showed her and it was done. I don't think dh really wants to know all the personal bathroom girly stuff.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[mo2]

If you don't want her to "shave" you could let her "clio palm perfect" it off.

 

I've never seen these. I'll look for them at the store.

[AngelBee]

I started plucking my eyebrows at age 9 due to feeling like I had a unibrow. I literally praise God and thank her to this day that she allowed me too.

 

It was painful to my self image as a growing girl. There are enough issues to go through. Once that can be so easily fixed don't need to be added to the list.

 

:grouphug: To your and your daughter while making a decision that is right for your family.

[Rebookie]

We are here to help this person... Not to keep tabs on peoples morals/beliefs. I saw where you guys are working it out.. That rocks.. How about we PM our issues... =) It's less embarrassing. I hope everyone is having a great day!

[AngelBee]

I would let her shave regardless of what her father, grandmother, or anyone else thinks. It is her body and her embarrassment. What her father, grandparents or anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

 

Those buffers are dangerous. They can rub the skin right off. Shaving is safer.

 

Thank you for letting me know. I have no clue! :001_huh:

 

Taking off of list of future options! :tongue_smilie:

[AngelBee]

As a father, it wouldn't bother me.

 

Won't bother my dh either. And we are pretty conservative.

[~Kirsten~]

Not that you need more votes, but I'd vote for letting her shave. Definitely try to go with one of the electric ones (the ones posted are adorable--bonus!), but if you can't, she won't cut herself too badly.

 

I was pushing to shave my legs somewhere around 4th/5th grade and wasn't allowed for over a year. I can't remember when it started, but I CAN remember being horribly uncomfortable during the hot months when I wore knee socks constantly to cover up the hair. I was teased a little bit, but I was terribly embarrassed about it constantly.

 

I really love the comparison between the too-small clothes and the shaving. It's truly not a growing up thing, though I can see how many would feel that way (and how men in particular would feel that way, as shaving for them is definitely an older/boy-to-man transition).

 

Hope you can find some peace with your decision!

[zenjenn]

I think there might be reluctance on the part of a parent because leg-shaving is associated with something done during puberty and trying to look "grown up", but if you stop and think about it, a 9 yr old is old enough to be teased about having hairy legs, so she is old enough to shave.

[stripe]

I think electric razors are easier and less dangerous than nonelectric, and disposables are awful.

 

I am also in the 'hairier than my mother' group. And my mother is a product of being a young woman in the 60s/70s so body hair removal is more of a political statement rhan being hairy. If you get my drift.

 

That being said, shaving is a drag.

[DianeW88]

Why *wouldn't* you let her shave? :confused::001_huh:

 

:iagree: My dd started shaving at 9 as well because the hair on her legs was bothering her. No biggie. It's just hair.

[laundrycrisis]

I think electric razors are easier and less dangerous than nonelectric, and disposables are awful.

 

 

 

I love my disposable Schick Slim Twins ;)

[lmrich]

I didn't read all the responses so sorry if this is a repeat...

 

I used to spray my arms and legs with hydrogen peroxide to make it blonde. It also made the hair weaker - not so thick. I hated shaving then and this was so much easier. My own 9 dd asked about her legs too and we will try this with her when she asks again.

[toawh]

If hairy legs run in her family, I would epilate. My sister shaved her legs and now she has way more hair than I do. I only epilated. It hurts the first couple times, but then it doesn't any more. Also you only have to do it once a month. There's a really good one at Bed Bath and Beyond. Kind of pricey ($70) but it'll last forever. I still have the same one I started with.

[LidiyaDawn]

What, so he has to know every private bathroom kinda thing? When dd14 wanted to shave, she came quietly to me and I got her a razor, gel, and taught her. We didn't bring dh into it…nor did we when she needed deodorant or pads. :tongue_smilie:

 

 

That's a little different than withholding information you think will upset your husband when he's going to find out anyway. Your husband clearly didnt need to know because he didnt care. Clearly her husband does care. Lying to him to evade his opinion about something he might feel strongly about isn't a good idea and last I checked not conducive with some people's marriage vows.

 

Eh…I don't know if he cared because we never 'asked' him. In our house, the girlie stuff is none of his business. :p

[Negin]

If it embarrasses her, then of course you must let her shave, regardless of her age.

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

I never understand age restrictions for these sorts of things. It should be done when there's a need. Shaving, br@s ... these aren't a big deal and shouldn't be made as such.

 

ETA;

Have not read every single response.

I was allowed to shave when needed. At first, my mom said it had to be 13 or something silly like that. I was 11 and showed her my hairy legs. I said if I can't shave, I won't go on vacation that summer ... it was no big deal and she allowed me to. I cut myself a lot at first. No one really taught me how.

 

Dd was allowed to shave as soon as she asked, which, I think was around 10 or 11. We had 3 sessions together in the shower. For those who are more modest, you can wear swimsuits. But we went in the shower together.

First time, I shaved my legs and hers - and had her watch.

Second time, she and I took turns with each stroke - alternating

Third time, I watched while she did it.

 

No need to get permission from dad or anything. That would seem a bit weird to me. That's not his area ... I love bonding with my dd with these types of things. :)

Edited August 4, 2011 by Negin in Grenada

[mo2]

If hairy legs run in her family, I would epilate. My sister shaved her legs and now she has way more hair than I do. I only epilated. It hurts the first couple times, but then it doesn't any more. Also you only have to do it once a month. There's a really good one at Bed Bath and Beyond. Kind of pricey ($70) but it'll last forever. I still have the same one I started with.

 

I don't even know what that is. :001_huh:

[Negin]

Some tips:

 

Exfoliating with a dry body brush or dry loofah BEFORE showering helps.

Shaving at night is easier for many - since the skin is less sensitive than in the AM.

Shave at the very last part of the shower, when the skin most moist.

I shave year-round, even when I lived in some very cold places. If you don't shave in the winter, your skin will have a harder time adjusting again in the spring and summer.

 

Other tips:

http://beauty.about.com/od/hairremoval/a/shavetips.htm - has Top 10 shaving tips

 

http://www.cosmeticscop.com/body-nail-care-perfect-shave-art.aspx - from Paula, whom I love so much :)

 

http://www.kidzworld.com/article/8257-summer-shaving-tips-for-girls - for your dd - which, I think is nice. It's nice for her to take ownership :D

[mo2]

Some tips:

 

Exfoliating with a dry body brush or dry loofah BEFORE showering helps.

Shaving at night is easier for many - since the skin is less sensitive than in the AM.

Shave at the very last part of the shower, when the skin most moist.

I shave year-round, even when I lived in some very cold places. If you don't shave in the winter, your skin will have a harder time adjusting again in the spring and summer.

 

Other tips:

http://beauty.about.com/od/hairremoval/a/shavetips.htm - has Top 10 shaving tips

 

http://www.cosmeticscop.com/body-nail-care-perfect-shave-art.aspx - from Paula, whom I love so much :)

 

http://www.kidzworld.com/article/8257-summer-shaving-tips-for-girls - for your dd - which, I think is nice. It's nice for her to take ownership :D

 

 

Thanks. I don't really shave. :blushing: We all have super-sensitive skin around here.

[katilac]

I don't think I can afford to buy her an electric razor, but I'll look into those that have the shaving bar/soap thing already attached so we don't have to mess with shaving cream.

 

They're pretty cheap these days - we have a Panasonic wet/dry electric razor from Target, $20. It's nice that they can use it in the shower, and don't have to worry about cuts.

 

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

[mo2]

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

 

 

:lol:

[Mom0012]

Oh, here's another question: What is a good, safe razor for a beginner? One that is not easy to cut yourself with? (I use cheap disposables when I shave, which isn't very often.)

 

I haven't read all the rest of the posts, but I'd get her an electric one. That's what I use a lot of the time. You don't get that same smoothness you do with a razor, but it does remove the hair and you don't get cut.

 

Lisa

[mo2]

Thank you to everyone who responded.

[Spock]

My 11yo daughter has been shaving since she was 9yo, for the same reasons (dark, hairy legs that bothered her).

 

I would say that any girl who is bothered by hairy legs is old enough to shave them.

[kaylk in tx]

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::iagree:

[LauraGB]

 

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

 

:lol:

 

I'm in the Let Her Shave camp, too. My dd was 9 or 10 when it began to bother her, too. It was just time. She used an electric razor until last year when she could wield a real one without needing stitches.

[Pippen]

Haven't read the other responses but a friend of mine was in this situation with her daughter and opted for an Avon hair removal product instead of shaving.

[Michelle My Bell]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

The time for her to start shaving is when it bothers her.

[Slartibartfast]

 

imo, any dad who wants a say in this must first inspect and review the Kotex Teen Sample Pack, list five signs of female pre-puberty on demand, and otherwise prove themselves worthy of Girly Hygiene Discussion.

 

:lol::lol:

 

My dd started getting pretty hairy legs when she hit 9-10. I let her use the hair removal cream because I was afraid she would injure herself

[Love2Smile]

If it embarrasses her, then of course you must let her shave, regardless of her age.

Totally agree! My dd was shaving in 3rd grade due to "hairy issues":iagree:

[Love2Smile]

My feelings is that this is between mom and daughter. Why on earth should a dad have to be involved with this??? Is "dad" gonna be there when you teach her how to use tampons??? I never even "thought" of "asking" my dh if my 3rd grader could shave her very hairy Italian/Spanish legs. But I guess our marriage is just like that. He trusts me to deal with the "women" issues. He does not want to be involved with those issues. Isn't that what moms are for? to teach and guide our daughters?

[reign]

I'm the hairy person in this family... I also have dark hair and light skin. It's embarrassing to me STILL. I cannot go more than a day without shaving and even then I get a 5 oclock shadow on my legs! You can see the hair through my pale skin even when my legs are freshly shaven... IT SUCKS!

Anyways... my dd is (so far) a blondie, but unfortunately at 4 her leg hair is already coming in pretty thick. She will likely be shaving at 9 like your dd.

 

This is exactly me and my daughter!

 

Totally let her shave whenever she is ready.

[DarlaS]

I don't even know what that is. :001_huh:

 

I think she is referring to that torture device known as an Epilady. It yanks hair out by means of little spinning coils. :w00t: I tried to use one once. Tried. And failed. My sister loved it when I gave it to her. I'm too much of a wimp. :tongue_smilie:

[Skadi]

Don't shave or it'll come back thicker! Wax. It's more painful, but if she waxes instead of shaving first, it'll be less likely to grow back. Plus, she won't have to shave everyday.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Yes, please, let her shave. Don't wait until she sneaks a razor and maybe hurts herself. Show her what to do so she knows she doesn't have to hide it.

[helena]

I think she is referring to that torture device known as an Epilady. It yanks hair out by means of little spinning coils. :w00t: I tried to use one once. Tried. And failed. My sister loved it when I gave it to her. I'm too much of a wimp. :tongue_smilie:

 

I remember we bought one in the 80's. It HURT!! One day we heard it switch on and then a second later my dad screamed out in pain. Curiosity got the best of him and he tried it on his hairy arm.

:lol: It still makes me laugh just thinking about it.

 

I say let her do it. I was called mustache girl in grade school so I'm a little sensitive about body hair. :tongue_smilie:

Edited August 5, 2011 by helena

[LidiyaDawn]

Did I see hair removal cream mentioned? Eeek. I haven't gone anywhere NEAR that stuff ever since I burned my skin trying to make stripes in my eyebrows when I was 14 - that stuff is NASTY!

[kitten18]

I think she is referring to that torture device known as an Epilady. It yanks hair out by means of little spinning coils. :w00t: I tried to use one once. Tried. And failed. :tongue_smilie:

Yes, I got one for Christmas one year. I think I removed about 1/2" section before we packed it up and never used it again.:001_huh:

 

Don't shave or it'll come back thicker!

This is a myth. Shaving does not make hair grow back thicker (or darker).

 

 

My niece started shaving when she was 8 or 9. I think at first she only needed to shave every couple weeks, not several times/week.

 

I really love the Venus razor with the built-in shave gel.

 

Good Luck.

[Ginevra]

Did I see hair removal cream mentioned? Eeek. I haven't gone anywhere NEAR that stuff ever since I burned my skin trying to make stripes in my eyebrows when I was 14 - that stuff is NASTY!

 

:iagree: I got chemical burns from that when I was 15! I would not touch that with a 20-foot-pole.

 

 

Don't shave or it'll come back thicker! Wax. It's more painful, but if she waxes instead of shaving first, it'll be less likely to grow back. Plus, she won't have to shave everyday.

 

Waxing is fine in its own way, but I would never dream of waxing a 9-year-old's legs. I think of waxing as something you do when you're old enough to make a sound judgement about it.

[Ellie]

I think she is referring to that torture device known as an Epilady. It yanks hair out by means of little spinning coils. :w00t: I tried to use one once. Tried. And failed. My sister loved it when I gave it to her. I'm too much of a wimp. :tongue_smilie:

A friend was telling me about her gizmo. She called it an "epidural." :lol::lol::lol:

[stripe]

Waxing is fine in its own way, but I would never dream of waxing a 9-year-old's legs. I think of waxing as something you do when you're old enough to make a sound judgement about it.

 

Or if you want to convince her that hair removal is a waste of time, maybe waxing or epiladying. Yikes.

 

Waxing or epiladying does eventually lead to less hair, but sheesh, how many of us are brave enough to wait that long??

 

Reminds me of the Nads commercial with the lady talking about waxing her hairy daughter. My grandma found that infomercial very poignant. I am not really sure why. But she told the story at a family gathering without ever really getting to the point, and I (infomercial addict) was the only one who knew what she was talking about!

[parias1126]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but wanted to let you know about my DDs horrible experience. She will be 9 in a couple months. She is extremely self-conscious about her hairy legs. Yes, they are very hairy and it is dark hair.

 

She seemed to all of a sudden have a huge complex about her legs. She absolutely will not even wear shorts. If she wears a skirt, she puts leggings on underneath. I confronted her about it a couple months ago. Come to find out the mean girls that live next door were teasing her about her hairy legs. They went in their house and brought out a razor and threatened to "shave the nasty hair off her legs."

 

Anyway, she didn't initially come to me about it, but went to her 18 year old sister. I didn't find out about it until a couple months after it had happened.

 

I have assured her that she is absolutely beautiful and not to let anyone tell her any different. We were actually talking about the situation yesterday in the car again. She explained to me how this girls made her feel so horrible and hurt her feelings. She also explained to me how she would never do that ro someone else even if they were being mean to her because it's not nice to hurt someone's feelings even if they have hurt yours.

 

She is The kindest out of the 4 of my children. She always thinks of everyone else before herself. She constantly takes the time to think about others feelings no matter who they are. She didn't deserve to be treated so badly.

 

I have shaved her legs a couple times for her and the self-confidence it brings is HUGE!

 

I say...shave her legs! Sorry this got long.

[Negin]

Don't shave or it'll come back thicker! Wax. It's more painful, but if she waxes instead of shaving first, it'll be less likely to grow back. Plus, she won't have to shave everyday.

I very respectfully disagree.

This has not been my experience. I am very hairy compared to most Westerners ;).

Thicker ... no.

More stubble and ickier texture, as in no more baby-soft hair ... yes, absolutely.

But I would prefer stubble than hair. If I take care of my stubble in a very timely fashion (every other day for me), as I have been doing religiously since the age of 11, I much prefer that than walking around like King Kong (not meaning to offend other hairy folks, but just saying that I would honestly resemble King Kong :lol:). I have never minded shaving every other day. It takes a few minutes and is nothing to me.

Also, I studied this whole field in a previous life. I am a trained esthetician and studied waxing, electrolysis, you name it ... not that I've practiced it as of late, but I know about this stuff. It is my passion.

Waxing is fabulous, but not for all. It takes a looooong time for hair to not grow back. And in some, it's never truly permanent.

If someone can tolerate waxing, more power to them. I have never heard of a 9-year-old have her legs waxed, but I'm sure there may be some. Just never heard of it.

I love waxing, but not for my legs. Shaving works for my legs and I love it. I have my underarms, forearms, brows, fingers, and toes waxed every 4 -6 weeks. Love it, love it, love it.

Electrolysis is I have done and what works like a charm for upper lip hair or any facial hair. Permanent! :D

Interestingly, they don't recommend electrolysis for girls until they start their period. I would feel more comfortable applying the same rule for waxing.

I would resort to waxing legs only if shaving was irritating and just plain out not working. Whatever works. :)

Edited August 5, 2011 by Negin in Grenada

[Negin]

Yes, please, let her shave. Don't wait until she sneaks a razor and maybe hurts herself. Show her what to do so she knows she doesn't have to hide it.

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[Slartibartfast]

Did I see hair removal cream mentioned? Eeek. I haven't gone anywhere NEAR that stuff ever since I burned my skin trying to make stripes in my eyebrows when I was 14 - that stuff is NASTY!

 

I don't think it goes on your face?

[NanceXToo]

I agree that this is a need-based issue, not an age-based issue. If she's old enough to have dark or thick or extremely noticeable hair AND it is bothering her, she's old enough to shave. Hopefully your husband will understand.

[Lizzie in Ma]

:iagree:IMHO, whatever consequences you're imagining will happen from shaving her legs are less than the emotional consequences of her being teased. Kids can be remarkably cruel.

 

My 10 year old has been shaving for a year. She asked, I didn't see why not.

[3peasinapod]

I see so many responses, but I'll add my 2 cents. I would let her shave.