NanceXToo Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I am so sorry you have to deal with this. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 We bought prepaid legal to deal with my dh's ex and she stopped the legal stuff when she saw it wasn't bankrupting us anymore. Sorry about the trouble from your dh's ex, but wow, sounds like you took the wind outta her sails... starting another thread to ask about prepaid legal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I am so sorry - I will be praying for you. Haing been in a somewhat similar situation, I remember that I just wanted him (xh) to go away. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Are you able to *force* a psychological evaluation and would any judge proceed with the case if your xh was found to have narcissistic personality disorder? The legal system - especially when it comes to the welfare of children - really needs to be overhauled. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I know some will be offended by the following, but honestly, its what comes to mind in these situations (I dealt with a violent ex, spent 10 yrs in fear, watching over my shoulder before finally moving across country) .... You know...we put down rabid animals. :glare: .... I know, I know, not helpful. Can't he be charged with harrassment? AND be on the hook for your legal fees? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 :grouphug: Ugh. I am so sorry. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Are you able to *force* a psychological evaluation and would any judge proceed with the case if your xh was found to have narcissistic personality disorder?The legal system - especially when it comes to the welfare of children - really needs to be overhauled. :glare: He forced one a couple of years ago. The ad litem evaluated in our favor. He didn't like that. So he met with the ad litem 3X after to convince him. Ad litem wasn't convinced. ;) In court, xh told the judge he wanted a pyschological eval (because narcissists would never think *they* would be outed in such a thing). The judge said "one is not needed. If you want it, you pay for it." He did. Having been unemployed for 2 years, paying me $400 a month (I have 3 kids), he paid $6kish for a psych eval. We "won" that, too. The psych eval doesn't diagnose, but he did score high on the MMPI related to NPD. I scored on paranoid, but that is because someone IS after me. :lol: Anyway, the only route we can go it mediation, and if that doesn't work, binding arbitration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Wait - he only wants custody of ONE child? Not the other two? I'm sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I know some will be offended by the following, but honestly, its what comes to mind in these situations (I dealt with a violent ex, spent 10 yrs in fear, watching over my shoulder before finally moving across country) .... You know...we put down rabid animals. :glare: .... I know, I know, not helpful. Can't he be charged with harrassment? AND be on the hook for your legal fees? Yeah, I get it IMP! You aren't offending me. Seriously, it is absolutely amazing what our legal system allows psychopathic, narcissistic, evil, dangerous, loons to get away with...my sister's soon-to-be-ex (something I can't say on a polite forum) jerk who has been diagnosed sociopathic is still allowed to delay the finalization of their divorce because he wants child support for his girls from a previous marriage and my sister was only married to him 2.5 years! No joke, his girls were 11 and 14 when she married him and they live 50% of the time with their mother. Yet, he is suing her for child support and refuses the mediator's determination that there is no way in h*ll a judge is going to make her pay him child support for children that aren't hers and whom she didn't parent long enough to even qualify as the "psychological" parent of the child. He has stalker-ish tendencies and has threatened her over the phone (recorded text on her cell phone so she can prove it) and in front of witnesses. But, no....she's going bankrupt defending herself against this freak. It sure would be nice if some sort of sanity could brought back to the legal system. I'm sick of the criminal element getting away with this cr*p. Anyway, Joanne...you have my good thoughts, my prayers, my sisterly vibes, whatever I can send your way because I can't be there to hug you in person or help you. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Joanne, what a jerk! You've handled so much so well. I hope this is over quickly for you and ends well for your dc! I don't understand why he only tries to get custody of one child. It seems that would be a red flag to the court. Like don't they ask "why don't you want all your dc". Good luck getting through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Making sense of a NPD individual isn't possible, is it? The venom is incredible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 So I guessed right the other day...I'm so sorry you have to go through this cr@p again. How does it make your other children feel to not be "asked for"? Exactly. And the fact that it was an issue for the professionals during the 3.5 years of earlier battle - well, he's above that. He's right dontchaknow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 Wait - he only wants custody of ONE child? Not the other two? I'm sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: Yes. He did the same thing with the last legal battle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm sorry I have no advice, only :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm sorry, Joanne. That just sucks... there are no other words for this. :grouphug: Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Sorry. I understand dealing with a NPD. They do not feel alive unless they are in the middle of a drama. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Joanne, this is awful!! I'm so sorry he's dragging you through more of the same... :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Oh Joanne I am so sorry you're going through this. Does it cost you anything if you go through mediation without a lawyer? Or is that not a good move? I'm hoping and praying that someone reviews his request and looks at the recent ruling and tells him to drop it. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :iagree: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so, so sorry. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Dh is asking about getting him on harassment. Is that a possibility? Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm sorry. :grouphug: What a rotten creep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Goodness - like you don't have enough on your plate already, he brings a second course ... I won't waste hopes that he sees the light, but I do hope that he is reprimanded appropriately (via legal or karmic means) for wasting everyone's time and resources! Sorry you're going through this. Again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 This action has nothing to do with the best interest of the kids. It has to to with him not being able to be wrong. He *has* to make me suffer. I wish the courts would recognize this and punish him (them!) for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Originally Posted by Jennifer in MI View Post Wait - he only wants custody of ONE child? Not the other two? I'm sorry you're going through this. Yes. He did the same thing with the last legal battle. Well, but the last time, didn't Andrew want to live with him? At least initially? I seem to remember there were a couple of rough patches with him, at the time, and he wanted to go live with his Dad. but then, not long into the whole custody battle, he changed his mind and wanted to stay with you. Did he initiate this new change? Say something to his dad to sort of feed the NPD issue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Wow, Nellie! Why this one particular child? What do the arbitrators think about that one??? This makes it even more suspect. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. What a sorry excuse for a human being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*LC Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I guess the good thing about this being done so soon is that you can use all the documentation and studies from the court case to prove your point that there is nothing to mediate. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Teenager, right? He's…15/16? If I remember from a past post?…. Surely by now they'd just allow HIS choice (assuming both homes are safe/etc)? I'd think any judge is gonna take into consideration that it's pretty dang hard to "make" a teenager do anything. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovemyblessings Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I feel you! I have been divorced 4 years and my ex has filed for custody 4 (!) times. I quit with the attorneys- as there has never been a change in circumstances. I represent myself now. After years of frustrated prayer, it appears I will get a break from his nonsense. He will be going to prison in July (for stupid behavior unrelated to the family) and will be there for 5 years I believe. The point to my story? Hang in there- and have faith. It is still a learning experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I'm so sorry Joanne, that you're having to go through this again. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Did he initiate this new change? Say something to his dad to sort of feed the NPD issue? One thing I've learned about NPD...they're like plants. They don't *need* to be fed by an outside source, they're perfectly capable of generating their own food. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 :grouphug: sigh..... would it help for your ds to have his own lawyer? my oldest dd, at age 11, asked for her own, and that was the end of the custody/visitation drama. he seemed to "choose" the one easiest to emotionally manipulate. it is just truly horrible. i am so sorry. :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 One thing I've learned about NPD...they're like plants. They don't *need* to be fed by an outside source, they're perfectly capable of generating their own food. :glare: Snort! So true, so true. :tongue_smilie: Too much like the noxious weeds I'm fighting in the garden. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gretchen in NJ Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 :grouphug: Sending lots of positive energy your way. I hope this goes away quickly, quietly, and inexpensively. :grouphug: :iagree: I am so sorry you and your family has to go through this again. :grouphug:s Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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