Mosaicmind Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 As many of you know I have a really bad past and have no contact with my family at all. If you search my posts in the past year you might get a glimpse into my life. I suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, which was formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder, hence my posting name. I am not ashamed of this and I want more people to understand it. I hate the show United States of Tara because it is such a distortion of DID and it makes me so mad!!! Anyway...off my soapbox. My counselor, who also is my adopted mother, is coming on Wednesday to stay here for almost 2 weeks. WE are going to be doing intensive counseling these days. I have heard the Lord tell me that He wants to heal me and make my mind and body new. Please do not think I am cooky because of this. I truly have a very personal relationship with my Lord and I would not be alive today if it weren't for him. My friend, Kim and my counselor/mom--Laura heard the same thing too without me even telling them first. I felt like this was confirmation that the Lord was really going to heal me, so I am anxious and excited about it. I don't know if healing means that I will be totally integrated, which means I would not have any separate personalities. I do know that it means that my brain and body will be as if I had never experienced the horrific abuse i suffered. I know that this will mean that I have to face some things that were done to me and that I was made to do to others, that other parts of me know about but I do not. I have had to deal with alot already because I have been in counseling for over 8 years. I will be aware of just how horrible and evil my biological family really is. I will learn just how systematic the "training" and abuse I suffered was and how it was carried out without anyone batting an eye. This last week I have been drinking more, which is not the way to handle this I know. I have noticed that a "part" of me started cutting again, which really disturbs me. On top of all of that my family and the local "cult" here has been following me, calling, texting, parking on my street, ect....They know that they will no long have control after I am free. They know that once I get healed I will start helping others get out and get free. They know that I know their tricks and how they do things and they don't want their secrets told. It's also generational, so they want my kids and some of my kids have been abused by them, which sickens me. I am stopping it!!! This generational curse is no longer. I am scared to death! I want to do this, I want to be brave, I want to help others get out and I want to fulfill the destiny the Lord has for me. But...to do all this I have to make it through the next two weeks. I need prayer and whatever you feel comfortable doing to help me with this. Thanks so much for all the support that I have been shown the last weeks and months lately. I know I can count on all of you. Lisa....aka "MO" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bagel270 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 I will be praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 :grouphug: praying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 pm'd you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Praying for you, Lisa!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Year Round Mom Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 How wonderful! I wish I knew you IRL; I'd want to be there as a silent prayer partner! I guess I have to be content as a cyber-prayer partner! Do tell us (or pm me) when you do, so we can lift you all up! Are you doing Neil Anderson's Steps to Freedom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Praying and :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Lisa....aka "MO" :lol: Was that directed at me? :D Oh, Honey, you have so been on my heart. I will pray earnestly for you, and ask my wonderful prayerful friends to pray for you, too. You can feel free to pm me any specific prayers you want us to lift up. Know He can do it. I believe in that with all my heart. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2absh Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm proud of you for doing this, Lisa! I remember your story from years ago on a previous curriculum forum. I admire your strength and determination for working through all of this, and for what you have accomplished as a homeschooling mom and student yourself through it all. God is good, and He is being glorified through you! J Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Adding my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 You have my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I think you are incredibly brave. I'm praying for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Praying for you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn1129 Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Praying, and will continue to do so. God is our Rock. Keep trusting Him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 :lol: Was that directed at me? :D Oh, Honey, you have so been on my heart. I will pray earnestly for you, and ask my wonderful prayerful friends to pray for you, too. You can feel free to pm me any specific prayers you want us to lift up. Know He can do it. I believe in that with all my heart. :grouphug: Why would you think that? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted April 12, 2011 Author Share Posted April 12, 2011 How wonderful! I wish I knew you IRL; I'd want to be there as a silent prayer partner! I guess I have to be content as a cyber-prayer partner! Do tell us (or pm me) when you do, so we can lift you all up! Are you doing Neil Anderson's Steps to Freedom? IN the very beginning we did use his Bondage Breaker book, but this is so WAY beyond that. We use prayer counseling as part of the counseling process, but many people who suffer from Satanic ritual abuse have so many diverse issues that traditional counseling techniques just don't cut it. Then add in my DID and you have a myriad of "people" to deal with. We will be starting Thursday morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Prayers and well wishes here. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBM Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 I will be praying for you, too, Lisa. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Praying for you! :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 Praying for you. May God give you the victory! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Prayers too, of course! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Adding my prayers that your suffering will be eased and that God will be glorified through you! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimnc Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 :grouphug: Your post is so touching. Prayers for healing and peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I'm praying for you Lisa. May St. Michael the Archangel defend you from all evil and may Jesus restore you to health and wholeness. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I sincerely hope peace finds you, Lisa. My best friend has shared with me over the years her own upbringing which has a common thread with your own. She carries with her always both physical and mental scars. After moving states away, her children have also been sought out by these people. She has no admission from her family, except one sister who will validate, but not discuss. This woman, my friend, is a strong, smart, wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to helping others, despite all of her hardships. She dedicates her strength to her faith in Jesus, and, while I may not be the most faithful of all people, I can see just how much strength she gains from her faith, and I am awed, impressed, and proud to call her my friend. I wish that same strength for you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyboys Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) Oh, Honey, you have so been on my heart. I will pray earnestly for you, and ask my wonderful prayerful friends to pray for you, too. You can feel free to pm me any specific prayers you want us to lift up. Know He can do it. I believe in that with all my heart. :grouphug: I will be praying bold prayers for you, Lisa. You will be brave and you will be free. I believe this. :grouphug: Edited April 15, 2011 by lovemyboys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mosaicmind Posted April 15, 2011 Author Share Posted April 15, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I sincerely hope peace finds you, Lisa. My best friend has shared with me over the years her own upbringing which has a common thread with your own. She carries with her always both physical and mental scars. After moving states away, her children have also been sought out by these people. She has no admission from her family, except one sister who will validate, but not discuss. This woman, my friend, is a strong, smart, wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to helping others, despite all of her hardships. She dedicates her strength to her faith in Jesus, and, while I may not be the most faithful of all people, I can see just how much strength she gains from her faith, and I am awed, impressed, and proud to call her my friend. I wish that same strength for you. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Laura, Funny you have the same name as my adoptive mom/counselor. I appreciate the encouragement and validation for me. I sometimes wonder if anyone else out there has gone through or is going through what I am. My bio-family believe in some sick way that they have a "right" to my kids, that they belong to them like they think I do. They have gone so far as to stake out my house and try and come here and get the kids to let them in when they have seen I have left. And believe it or not but my bio-family lives 3 states away from us right now. Yesterday was a really hard day and Laura and I haven't gotten much sleep. I am hoping today is a day of new beginnings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Continuing to pray for you today Lisa. I hope it's a much better day. :) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knit247 Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I will be praying for you :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalypso Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Praying.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caitlinsmom Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 From my reading this morning: Isa 43:1-3 But now, this is what the Lord says - he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.... I know this is a national promise to Israel. Today, I pray it is a personal promise of a co-heir in the new covenant for you as well. Remember you have been transfered from a kingdom of darkness into a kingdom of light. (Col. 1:13) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 ..... My bio-family believe in some sick way that they have a "right" to my kids, that they belong to them like they think I do. They have gone so far as to stake out my house and try and come here and get the kids to let them in when they have seen I have left. And believe it or not but my bio-family lives 3 states away from us right now. Yesterday was a really hard day and Laura and I haven't gotten much sleep. I am hoping today is a day of new beginnings. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: the bolded would really freak me out. How far away do you think you could move?! I'm continuing to pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Praying for your complete healing. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.