Help me understand the charms of texting (rant)

[Halftime Hope]

I just don't understand the deal with the way teens and some young adults use their phones to communicate these days. Why in the world wouldn't you want to pick up your dad gum cell phone and call a friend, have a nice conversation with them, and then finish when you're done. I rarely see a teen/young adult pick up their cell phone and *talk* into it. Instead, they usually text a friend or friends, their attention only half-way on where they are or what they are doing, all the while saying a whole lot of nothing. It's too tedious to say something meaningful, in depth, or nuanced when thumb-typing. I've observed that when they get an actual phone call, it's usually from an adult.

 

????

 

Yes, I get that texting is useful for 1) multi-tasking, 2) touching base, 3) leaving informational msgs for someone when they aren't available, or 4) can't talk, but can rcv. silent msgs (no, I don't mean in class!)

 

Other than that, I just don't get it!

 

Any insight for an older mama?

[Parrothead]

I don't get it either. I have the ability and so does one of my friends. We always call each other and talk instead. To me a phone call is way faster.

[Pegasus]

It's much like our attraction to this message board. It has a sense of anonymity so they can be freer with what they say. It gives a person immediate satisfaction to send and receive messages in rapid succession. It feeds their need for social connection without requiring the social skills needed for face to face (or even verbal over the phone) conversations.

 

It can be addictive and not totally healthy, IMHO.

 

Pegasus

[Parrothead]

It's much like our attraction to this message board. It has a sense of anonymity so they can be freer with what they say. It gives a person immediate satisfaction to send and receive messages in rapid succession. It feeds their need for social connection without requiring the social skills needed for face to face (or even verbal over the phone) conversations.

 

It can be addictive and not totally healthy, IMHO.

 

Pegasus

I don't get this. If I text dh he knows it is from me. Same way if he texts me. Actually anyone who texts me would have my number so it would be someone who knows me. There is no anonymity involved. How free can one be with 144 characters?

[lionfamily1999]

Well, it lessens the odds of having someone listen in and it's GREAT for when you want to pass on info or ask a question, but don't want to be sucked in the dark vortex of small talk or chit chatting :lol:

 

I think for teens it's more the illusion of privacy.

[dcurry]

Mostly I agree with you. However, I've taken to texting whenever I can for several reasons.

 

I don't have a cell phone except one that's on my dad's plan that he had for emergencies- no monthly fee, but 35cents per minute, in or out (but first incoming minute free). This adds up, so I RARELY use it at all. Recently, he added text, which is $5 per month, but unlimited (for me since I'd never text so much as to reach the actual limit). So I text whenever I can rather than using the phone. I text things like when I'm leaving (to a relative or friend when I'm meeting them), if I'm running late, I answer texts when asked a question by others, etc. I don't use it for entertainment ever, but rather to transmit information in an inexpensive way.

 

My teens love to text for me, especially if I'm driving or otherwise busy (since I refuse to use the phone in any capacity when I'm driving), so they are learning to text and for some reason love it. I think it's too time consuming, but it does get information to someone right away.

 

I also text when I want to ask a friend a question like, "Do you want to go on a walk?" (right now), but know she homeschools & babysits young children so don't want to interrupt her with a phone call. People tend to think phone calls more urgent than a text. I know if she doesn't get back to me, it wasn't a convenient time for her.

 

It's much faster to look at a text & get a message (and quieter) than it is to answer a phone. It's also easier to ignore, and you don't feel you are bothering someone by texting.

 

This all coming from someone who never liked cell phones, and still don't use mine except very rarely (less than once/week). Hope this helps you understand another perspective, though. I agree with you that teens tend to rely on it way too much.

[Danestress]

I find texting less interfering in my daily life. Lets say I am out doing errands and each of my three children plus my DH wants to tell me something or ask me something.

 

If I am driving, I am not answering either a phone call or a text. When I reach my destination, if there are four phone messages, I have to call in, listen to four messages, call four people back, maybe get them, maybe not. Leave a message, let them call me back, maybe call one and get a phone call from the other, which also goes to voice mail.

 

If they each text me, I get where I am going and check. Maybe one wants to know where the math book is. I can answer that in seconds. Maybe DH just wants to know what time he needs to pick up a child, I can answer that in seconds too. The whole thing takes a fraction of the time. A ringing phone is a hassle. Calling into voice mail is a double hassle. If my kid text, they can send a message and when I am not driving, I can check it. Sometimes I don't even need to respond. It seems very efficient to me.

 

I don't really use my phone or text to just chit chat. Both are just ways to convey and seek information or a brief "check in" with someone. The people I text with a are family members, the other parents who carpool with me, and once in a while, a friend I am making plans with. I find those things are just so easy through text.

[Pegasus]

I don't get this. If I text dh he knows it is from me. Same way if he texts me. Actually anyone who texts me would have my number so it would be someone who knows me. There is no anonymity involved. How free can one be with 144 characters?

 

Yes, the sender/receiver know who they each are but they are also "alone" and "safe" during the texting conversation. I don't think that I am explaining it well.

 

Pegasus

[blondeviolin]

I text occasionally... but not for idle chit-chat. Mostly it's to convey some information or ask a question. The best reason I can give you, though, is because I am not disturbing someone as much by sending a text. I can't recall how many times someone has called me while I was putting a baby to bed. A quick text, though, with my phone on silent, doesn't disturb that. I can respond and still put a baby down. A phone call wakes up baby. If I text someone else and they are busy, it's no biggie. They can get back to me when it is convenient for them.

[Snickerdoodle]

I don't have a cell phone, but if I did, I'd rather get texts than calls.

 

With calls my attention can only be on the phone call. I simply can't be doing other things while I talk on the phone. As most mothers, I am stretched to the limit wrt my time and responsibilities. This is especially felt in the cases where people feel the need to call every day (of which I have several in my life).

 

With a text, I could read and respond at my convenience.

 

So, like I said, I have no cell phone, so in my case I try not to answer the phone at all.

[jec3113]

I find the texting incredibly rude as it often happens while I am trying to have a face to face conversation with someone.

 

Also, we are unfortunately raising a generation of children who longer have the ability to communicate effectively.

 

We have cell phones but do not have texting. If someone wants to say something to me they have to use their voice! :001_smile:

[Snickerdoodle]

I find the texting incredibly rude as it often happens while I am trying to have a face to face conversation with someone.

The nice thing about a text, is that you don't have to look at it until it is convenient for you.

[Desert Rat]

Well, it lessens the odds of having someone listen in and it's GREAT for when you want to pass on info or ask a question, but don't want to be sucked in the dark vortex of small talk or chit chatting :lol:

 

I think for teens it's more the illusion of privacy.

 

I like being able to send a message to my dh without people listening in on what I'm saying. I don't use text to chat but I'm relatively new to texting and really love it.

[Carrie12345]

I love that my mother finally learned to text. I can ask a question or drop a quick kid quote without carving 30 minutes out of my day, and I don't spend the calls we do make trying to remember what interesting things from 4 days ago I had been meaning to share with her!

[Parrothead]

Yes, the sender/receiver know who they each are but they are also "alone" and "safe" during the texting conversation. I don't think that I am explaining it well.

 

Pegasus

Now I have a mental image of some creepy person sitting in a closet alone and safe texting anonymously.

 

I think I get what you are saying. But what you are saying is an illusion. Electronic communications are not safe.

[scrappyhappymama]

I find texting to be very useful. It is a way to communicate non-urgent information, without disturbing the person you are sending it to.

 

My husband works in a lab, often gowned and gloved up. If I call him, he has to stop what he's doing, deglove, usually listen to the message because he can't answer quickly enough, call me back, try to catch me, leave a message, wait for me to call back, regown & reglove, resume work. If I text him instead and he's in the middle of something, he knows it's not urgent, and can check his phone at his next opportunity when he is already stopped or ungloved. And then he knows the information- "please pick up milk on your way home"- but he wasn't interrupted for something mundane. If it's urgent, I'll call instead and he knows that.

 

Many of our friends work in hospital, or shift work, or have very young children, or homeschool, etc. I can text them a message- "Soccer practice is canceled and rescheduled for tomorrow" without interrupting their work, sleep, child's nap, schooling, or whatever they may be doing at the time. Again, if it's urgent, I'll call. But otherwise, it actually seems more polite to send a text that they can read at their leisure.

 

A few weeks ago at our co-op meeting, we actually discussed texting among the parents, and it was almost universally agreed that when we needed to contact each other for class changes or updates or to find replacements for sick days, that texting was preferred. The reason given was that when you call, each party feels socially obligated to chit chat for a few minutes and inquire about the welfare of the other. It would be rude to call and just say, "Please have your child wear closed toe shoes today, because we'll be going for a walk through a field. OK? Bye."

 

Sure, interpersonal communication is nice, but not so much when you need to communicate the same message to 10 people. If I only spend 5 minutes on each call, that's an hour of my day spent, as opposed to 30 seconds to send the text to all 10 people, and maybe a few minutes to follow up with any questions in reply. Plus, I haven't interrupted whatever may be going on in each of the ten households.

 

Texting is also more private. I can send a message to my husband without my children knowing what I am saying specifically. I can send and receive messages in a store without sharing my business with everyone around me and annoying them, like I would be on a public call.

 

If I get a phone call and I am driving or changing a diaper or in the restroom, there is always that urge to drop what you are doing and answer it, in case it is urgent. But if I hear a text chime, I know that the message is not likely to be one that I need to drop everything for.

 

Texting is also a nice way to send a message to a lot of people at once, without having to take the time to make all those calls. Like for instance, "Mama in labor, baby should be here sometime this evening." I actually noticed a huge difference between my third and fourth baby's births. We have a big family, so my husband spent several hours before and after our third son's birth calling folks and taking calls. With our fourth, he sent out one text during labor and another afterwards. He did get lots of return texts after each one he sent, but he didn't feel compelled to either check them immediately or have to answer or return all those calls. It's nice to say 8 lbs, 10 oz once, rather than over and over and over. :lol:

 

All that said, I'm not a big fan of folks texting all day long, while sitting at the dinner table, or during a movie. I do find it a bit disconcerting to actually be with folks in person and to see everyone busy checking their phones or sending messages the entire time instead of visiting with each other. I guess my preference is to spend quality time with folks when we are face to face, but to enjoy the benefits of more impersonal communication when we're not.

[Perry]

I find texting very convenient, but I don't think that's what the OP is talking about. Many teens aren't using it that way. They have hundreds and hundreds of texts daily, with almost constant meaningless ongoing conversations.

The average 13- to 17-year-old sends and receives a whopping 3,339 text messages a month, and adults' use of text messaging is starting to climb -- although to nowhere near the levels of American teens.

 

"Adults who text typically send and receive a median of 10 texts a day; teens who text send and receive a median of 50 texts per day," Pew said, adding that a very small number -- 5 percent of adult texters send "more than 200 text messages a day or more than 6,000 texts a month. Fully 15 percent of teens 12-17, and 18 percent of adults 18 to 24 text message more than 200 messages a day, while just 3 percent of adults 25 to 29 do the same."

3339 is an average. There are a whole lot of teens testing many hundreds of times a day.

 

I think it's a big problem.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I don't fall into the young category by any means, but I love texting. For me, if I make a phone call I have to stop whatever else I'm doing and focus on talking. I just. don't. have. time. to put everything on hold for a call.

 

Texting allows me to keep in touch with several people I'd otherwise not have any communication with, simply because I don't have time to chit chat. When I text, it's at my convenience and can be done quickly. To me it's a very efficient way to keep in touch.

 

That said, manners are still important and should be kept in mind when with others in person.

[Danestress]

it might be a few thousand for teens too. But good thing is, I don't have listen to all those teens have those converations. They are now silent:)

 

I'm just kidding. Sort of. I can check exactly how many texts my kids are sending, and if it were anywhere close to the "average" they would be phoneless for a while. It would not be okay for my if my kid spent their time that way. But I also wouldn't want them to have that exact same amount of conversation on the phone. In fact, I would like it even less because of the noise factor.

[Halftime Hope]

I find texting very convenient, but I don't think that's what the OP is talking about. Many teens aren't using it that way. They have hundreds and hundreds of texts daily, with almost constant meaningless ongoing conversations.

 

3339 is an average. There are a whole lot of teens testing many hundreds of times a day.

 

I think it's a big problem.

 

This is exactly what I'm talking about! Thanks, Perry!

 

I have one young adult who constantly has the phone on his/her person and *every* time a msg comes in, out comes the phone. It doesn't matter what is going on between the real people in the room, when a msg alert comes on, out comes the phone. It is so rude! I've had to make rules that at certain times (meals, when you are in a conversation with another person, during game nights, while you are on kitchen duty, etc.) there will be no checking the txt msgs. It really stinks that this is even an issue.

 

Another one of my kids uses texting much more like a traditional phone, going for hours without checking it and leaving the phone on the desk in the bedroom where it gets checked at his/her convenience.

 

My youngest is starting to follow in the path of the young adult, and I'm just not having it. I will sooner get rid if texting on all our phones than live this way in my household.

[OH_Homeschooler]

Sometimes I am just too exhausted for a conversation. Seriously, for me that can be a really draining experience. Oh, and when the kids are around (always) it is so hard to have a real conversation with anyone. They can be so disruptive! Which is fine, they're kids, but I don't feel my friends need to be subjected to their noise all the time.

 

And with texting I don't have to deal with calling, waiting for whoever (usually DH) to pick up, probably going to voicemail because he never seems to have his phone on him, and leaving an awkward message. Then on his end, he has to call into voicemail, wade through all the messages, just to hear me say "Hey when are you coming home?"

Edited March 2, 2011 by OH_Homeschooler

[Snickerdoodle]

 

I have one young adult who constantly has the phone on his/her person and *every* time a msg comes in, out comes the phone.

 

I agree this is a problem. I think it's time to have a talk about a phone being a tool and not an electronic leash.

 

:grouphug:

 

I'm dreading the teenage years. It sounds tough.

[PiCO]

I love texting. I don't like talking on the phone.

[Carrie12345]

I find texting very convenient, but I don't think that's what the OP is talking about. Many teens aren't using it that way. They have hundreds and hundreds of texts daily, with almost constant meaningless ongoing conversations.

 

3339 is an average. There are a whole lot of teens testing many hundreds of times a day.

 

I think it's a big problem.

 

I think that's a parenting problem, not a texting problem.

It's akin to having teenagers in the early 90's tying up the house phone for hours on end. Not the phone's fault.

[babysparkler]

I prefer texting because:

 

 

1. Can't be overheard (you know, like... "Should we take the kids out for pizza tonight?" instead of letting the cat out of the bag)
   
2. Quick... no need for the pleasantries, get info and move on...
   
3. Can still talk in a noisy house without having to retreat to my bedroom.
   
4. Can multi-task without being rude in between texts
   
5. Written record of conversation to refer back to.
   

 

[Impish]

There was a spoof about texting, I think on the Rick Mercer Report, that said, "If only there was a faster, easier way to communicate." :lol:

[Murphy101]

I dnt think it's any different than the usually inane and useless yet near constant time my generation spent on the phone when we were younger. Parents used to complain then about how the teens were always wrapped up in the phone cord talking about nothing.

 

If you don't like it bc you think they are being rude, then restrict the phone or service?

 

*shrug*

[kalanamak]

Entertainment. Some very nice people at work are "thumb-knitting" every chance they get, with their head down and perfunctory answers to anyone who asks them a question. I want to stomp on the things. Sadly, since texting is banned while are "on", I hope people will be caught doing it so they will put it back in their lockers during work time.

 

I think it is entertainment. "Another prop to occupy my time." I don't understand it, because the world around me, especially at work, is plenty stimulating and I gave up "chat room" level of conversation when I was 13. I suspect there is a habit/positive feedback loop going on, or more and more people wouldn't seem to be doing it more and more of the time. Seeing how time-sucking it is, and how unsocial (you go to lunch in the little lunch room and you are with two silent people typing away with a left finger while eating with their right hand) it is, I vow to only take it up as a last resort. Especially when I see how much of it is fighting with teens (mother texting "no you CAN'T do X until you clean up your room" and back and forth.)

[Crissy]

I find the texting incredibly rude as it often happens while I am trying to have a face to face conversation with someone.

 

 

 

I don't see this as a problem with texting, rather it is a lack of proper etiquette and manners.

 

 

I have one young adult who constantly has the phone on his/her person and *every* time a msg comes in, out comes the phone. It doesn't matter what is going on between the real people in the room, when a msg alert comes on, out comes the phone. It is so rude!

 

Again, this person simply has terrible manners.

My family uses texting to communicate on a regular basis (with proper capitalization, punctuation and grammar, thankyouverymuch), but everyone here is aware that the phone stays in one's pocket when one is at the dinner table, having a conversation with someone, while driving, etc.

 

Texting is a fantastically useful tool. It is the proper and considerate use of the tool that we need to work on.

[Joanne]

My teens text their *friends*. Friends they interact with often, in person, facebook, and texts. It is another means of communication, playfulness, fun and relationship.

 

I'm not suggesting it is an enriching relationship *builder* but it is not anathema, either.

 

Texting with my own kids has been a positive in our relationship.

 

I'd rather text than talk in many cases.

[Perry]

I think that's a parenting problem, not a texting problem.

It's akin to having teenagers in the early 90's tying up the house phone for hours on end. Not the phone's fault.

I don't know. I think it's very close to an addiction problem for some kids. While some addiction is probably due to bad parenting, it's much more complicated than that.

 

I absolutely disagree with the bolded part below and am shocked that he'd say something so ridiculous. It's a correlation, not causation.

 

The association of hypertexting with other high risk and addictive behaviors is interesting, but not surprising. I can't find it right now, but iirc about 18% of teens are "hypertexters".

 

 

Nov. 9, 2010 -- Teens who are excessive users of texting and social networking sites are much more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors like smoking and binge drinking than their peers who are not excessive users, a new study says.

Researchers at Case Western Reserve School of Medicine surveyed 4,257 high school students from an urban county in the Midwest, addressing their use of communication technology and various health topics.

Too Much Texting Linked to Unhealthy Behaviors

 

Teens who are considered “hyper-texters” -- defined as texting 120 or more messages in a school day, are:

 

 

• 40% more likely to have tried cigarettes than youths who spend less time texting

• 43% more likely to be binge drinkers

• 41% more likely to have used illicit drugs

• 55% more likely to have been in a physical fight

• Nearly 3.5 times more likely to have had sex

• 90% more likely to report having had four or more sexual partners.

 

“The startling results of this study suggest that when left unchecked, texting and other widely popular methods of staying connected can have dangerous health effects on teenagers,” Scott Frank, MD, of Case Western Reserve, says in a news release. “This should be a wake-up call for parents to not only help their children stay safe by not texting and driving, but by discouraging excessive use of the cell phone or social web sites in general.”

Frank and colleagues also report that youths who engage in hyper-networking, which they defined as spending three hours or more a day on social networking web sites, is also risky.

Of teens surveyed, 11.5% said they spend more than three hours a day on social networking sites.

The researchers say these teens are:

 

 

• 62% more likely to have tried cigarettes

• 79% more likely to have tried alcohol

• 69% more likely to be binge drinkers

• 84% more likely to have used illicit drugs

• 94% more likely to have been in a physical fight

• 69% more likely to have had sex

• 60% more likely to report having had four or more sexual partners

 

Frank presented the study in Denver at the 138th annual meeting and exposition of the American Public Health Association.

The researchers also say that too much texting time and excessive hours on social networks also are linked to obesity, eating disorders, school absenteeism due to illness, lack of adequate sleep, and feelings of being unsafe at school. These teens also are more likely to be stressed and to think about suicide.

This study was presented at a medical conference. The findings should be considered preliminary as they have not yet undergone the "peer review" process, in which outside experts scrutinize the data prior to publication in a medical journal.

 

[oldskool]

 

Texting with my own kids has been a positive in our relationship.

 

I'd rather text than talk in many cases.

 

:iagree:

 

Lesley

[Danestress]

Our generation didn't grow up with cell phones, and I think we haven't really figured out how to manage and supervise them with our older children.

 

Overtime, I think more research and more parenting advice will help parents figure this out. Children, even older children, often need structure and firm rules. If you let your children have cell phones in their bedrooms at night, their friends have 24 hour a day access to them. If you let them text at dinner and during movies, it confirms for their friends that they have that access. We have to teach our children how to create psychological boundaries, even when our children don't know that they NEED those boundaries.

 

My kids have cell phones with texting. I can monitor how much they text, though, and I can block all communication on the phones, texting and calling, during certain hours (ie during school or after 9:00 at night). I can make my own number an exception to those blocks. These kinds of rules will help children have healthier habits with cell phones. But with my oldest, I did not have a clear a picture of why those limits were going to be important.

[lionfamily1999]

I like being able to send a message to my dh without people listening in on what I'm saying. I don't use text to chat but I'm relatively new to texting and really love it.

I have friend that will send me texts that qualify as personal letters :p I don't do that, but I get them.

 

I have one young adult who constantly has the phone on his/her person and *every* time a msg comes in, out comes the phone.

I agree with a previous poster, this really is about learning proper socialization :D While I understand it can become a habit (or to some an addiction, I find the lines blur between those two), it's like any other attitude issue that becomes a habit. It should not reflect upon the object, but the person.

 

IOW, burping, imo, is rude. Sodas make people burb, but I don't find sodas or drinking them rude, it's people that let out window shaking belches that bother me. Someone that ignores people around them, or breaks off conversations to engage in another conversation is rude. What they use to do that (be it another person or a phone) is not at fault.

I love texting. I don't like talking on the phone.

:iagree: That's what I meant by the vortex of chit chat. It's hard to call, make a request or pass on information and then get back off the phone. First, we must submit to pointless chatter and uncomfortable silences. With a text and I skip all that :p

[LibraryLover]

I just texted with my dh for about 10 minutes. What's so great about talking on the phone? Texting is like instant letter-writing and can be done anywhere without disturbing anyone. I love it.

[LibraryLover]

I enjoy texting with my oldest (my teens don't do much of it...and my teen dd almost none. ). You can have a totally private conversation, which is nice for a student in a dorm room, or when you're on the subway etc.

 

 

My teens text their *friends*. Friends they interact with often, in person, facebook, and texts. It is another means of communication, playfulness, fun and relationship.

 

I'm not suggesting it is an enriching relationship *builder* but it is not anathema, either.

 

Texting with my own kids has been a positive in our relationship.

 

I'd rather text than talk in many cases.

Edited March 2, 2011 by LibraryLover

[justamouse]

No insight from me, I text my husband all the time. We have a running conversation that lasts all day and I don't have to interrupt him with a phone ringing.

 

I would much rather people text me than call me, though sometimes you must to have a phone conversation.

 

Dd and I text all the time. Running jokes we have, pictures of what she is doing at school, if I can pick her up later, how she wants to kill the cat for waking her up last night. :P Or, I'll text her when I don't want to yell up the stairs.

[Perry]

I just texted with my dh for about 10 minutes. What's so great about talking on the phone? Texting is like instant letter-writing and can be done anywhere without disturbing anyone. I love it.

:iagree:

I love it too. I'd much rather text than talk.

 

I think it's important to make a distinction between texting and hypertexting. Manners are one piece of it, but you can have great manners and still text far too much. Just because it doesn't bother others doesn't make it not a problem. If kids are texting back and forth every few minutes throughout the day, during school, while doing homework or chores, and being woken up repeatedly during the night, it's a problem. Lots of kids can text with their phone in their pocket and you (or their teachers) never even know they're doing it.

 

I think many parents don't even realize it's happening. If the kids have unlimited texting, they probably have no idea how many texts there are. With Verizon I can check usage online, but I don't think all companies do that. If you just look at the bill, you don't see all the M2M calls, which can be thousands, so you would have a vast underestimate of how many texts are really happening. And if your kid knows you're checking the phone, they can just erase them.

Edited March 2, 2011 by Perry

[justamouse]

:iagree:

I love it too. I'd much rather text than talk.

 

I think it's important to make a distinction between texting and hypertexting. Manners are one piece of it, but you can have great manners and still text far too much. Just because it doesn't bother others doesn't make it not a problem. If kids are texting back and forth every few minutes throughout the day, during school, while doing homework or chores, and being woken up repeatedly during the night, it's a problem. Lots of kids can text with their phone in their pocket and you (or their teachers) never even know they're doing it.

 

I think many parents don't even realize it's happening. If the kids have unlimited texting, they probably have no idea how many texts there are. With Verizon I can check usage online, but I don't think all companies do that. If you just look at the bill, you don't see all the M2M calls, which can be thousands, so you would have a vast underestimate of how many texts are really happening.

 

Some of us don't helicopter our kids that much. Dd 16 is super responsible and I let her have unlimited texting and I don't check. She hasn't ever give me the need to.

 

And I think I text more than she does.

 

It's not the antichrist some are making it out to be, really. It's a tool. Just like anything else. Will some people go overboard? Yes. Such happens with everything. People overeat all day long and no one is on here preaching how eating another chip is going to ____. But when the TV or cell phones is talked about, everyone gets all hyper vigilant. How about we deal with the other excesses in our lives? :001_smile:

[LibraryLover]

We have unlimited texting as well. I just don't see my kids texting much.

 

As with anything, some people will have troubles and others won't. I think many teens (including hsing ones) are simply hyper-social...this works itself out, ime.

 

Obviously some people do have addictions. There's a lot in this world to which one can become addicted. That's humanity for ya.

[Parrothead]

 

I would much rather people text me than call me, though sometimes you must to have a phone conversation.

 

 

I'm so strange. I'd rather a person email than call, but I'd rather get a call than a text.

Edited March 2, 2011 by Parrothead

[LibraryLover]

Plus one can't win for trying. Floks complain about people having loud conversations on their cells in pubic...and now people complain about seeing people text.

 

We can't put this awesome genie back in the bottle because some super-social kids/adults are a bit excessive. Text all ya want if it means I don't have to listen to you whine in the checkout line about how your cab was late taking you to the airport and you almost missed your flight to Bermuda. It just aggravates me that you get to go and I don't. Keep those conversations private, and load your stuff on the belt already, thank you! :D

 

Some of us don't helicopter our kids that much. Dd 16 is super responsible and I let her have unlimited texting and I don't check. She hasn't ever give me the need to.

 

And I think I text more than she does.

 

It's not the antichrist some are making it out to be, really. It's a tool. Just like anything else. Will some people go overboard? Yes. Such happens with everything. People overeat all day long and no one is on here preaching how eating another chip is going to ____. But when the TV or cell phones is talked about, everyone gets all hyper vigilant. How about we deal with the other excesses in our lives? :001_smile:

[LibraryLover]

I'm so strange. I'd rather a person email than call, but I'd rather get a call than a text.

 

 

Except my PC internet doesn't work in my car when I'm parked outside waiting for kids to finish ballet, music, etc etc etc etc. My phone fits in my coat pocket, baby. :)

[Perry]

Some of us don't helicopter our kids that much. Dd 16 is super responsible and I let her have unlimited texting and I don't check. She hasn't ever give me the need to.

 

And I think I text more than she does.

 

It's not the antichrist some are making it out to be, really. It's a tool. Just like anything else. Will some people go overboard? Yes. Such happens with everything. People overeat all day long and no one is on here preaching how eating another chip is going to ____. But when the TV or cell phones is talked about, everyone gets all hyper vigilant. How about we deal with the other excesses in our lives? :001_smile:

If your dd is responsible, then you don't *need* to helicopter. That's great, and it's the ideal most of us want.

 

I'm not worried about the responsible kids. I'm concerned about the ones who can't seem to control it, who go way overboard, and for whom it is a very disruptive presence in their lives. Unfortunately, there are many of them. For those who think it's not a problem, I'm guessing it's because you haven't had to deal with it in your world.

 

I'm surprised at the comparison with overeating. There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of threads about weight, food, and dieting on this board.

[tadbhoward]

I was at the indoor pool with my kids and looked around. I was the only mother there that was not intently thumbing her phone. There were at least 30 other women there and not one of them looked up once the whole time I was looking at them.

 

I get the ease of messaging when needing to give or get quick answers. I do not get the whole seemingly non-stop texting/internet surfing that seems to go on. I have seen people walk into other people, step into puddles, or fall off of curbs while doing this and walking.

 

Also, to people just being rude: My best friend is a very kind, well-mannered person unless she is texting. She never answers the phone while we are out together but since she got the data package on said phone she will answer every single text she gets. It is very annoying and honestly it hurts. I have seen several other people I know respond the same way. There seems to be some kind of mental disconnect going on when it comes to texting for some people.

[LibraryLover]

I often chat it up with mothers at events, but why should I always have to? Why can't I take the time to text my dh, son, or read the newspaper online when I have down time, such as when i am waiting yet again? I have no idea why other people would care if I am reading the newspaper or a book on my phone. I simply don't always want to be in engaged in conversation with someone. I hs my kids...I have a lot of work to do, I am plenty social enough. Why would anyone at the Y care what I am doing or whether I'm reading an actual newspaper or book, or one online?

 

Seriously, why are people so dang worried about what I might be doing on my smartphone when my kids are totally otherwise engaged and don't need me? I am not a helicopter parent, never have been, and don't plan to become one. Others will have to deal. :)

 

The beauty of texting is that one doesn't have to answer right away. I don't think people should stop an actual conversation to take a text or call, unless they have told the person they are waiting for one. Some peope are rude...but they would be rude without a phone. :)

Edited March 2, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I find the texting incredibly rude as it often happens while I am trying to have a face to face conversation with someone.

 

 

I don't see this as a problem with texting, rather it is a lack of proper etiquette and manners.

 

:iagree: with Crissy. Texting is not rude, the person who is texting while you're having a conversation is rude.

 

I just recently got texting on my cell and I love it. I have a phone phobia--I worry about interrupting people, bothering them, inconveniencing them, etc. I know with a text, though, that they can read and respond at their convenience.

[rockermom]

We have texting blocked on our cell phones. We had the plan with unlimited texting to and from those with the same carrier and 500 additional messages. I never went over my limit, but RockerDad usually had between $20-$60 in additional charges.

 

He couldn't stop. He'd have texting conversations that would last half an hour when the same phone conversation would take five minutes. He would text me when I was in the same room with him. He would text Major League Baseball for scores and stats when he could simply look online or watch the sports news. He would send and receive pics/videos to/from his buddies at work when they were standing beside each other. :confused: I mean, couldn't they have simply SHOWN it to each other? He'd also disagree/argue with me via texting instead of direct conversations and try to get... ahem... romantic via texting as well. :lol:

 

We finally had to get rid of it altogether.

[LibraryLover]

Is he a gamer? I notice gamers seem to be big texters. (I am not a gamer, or a big texter, just ftr. lol) Gives them something to do with their thumbs. ;)

 

We have texting blocked on our cell phones. We had the plan with unlimited texting to and from those with the same carrier and 500 additional messages. I never went over my limit, but RockerDad usually had between $20-$60 in additional charges.

 

He couldn't stop. He'd have texting conversations that would last half an hour when the same phone conversation would take five minutes. He would text me when I was in the same room with him. He would text Major League Baseball for scores and stats when he could simply look online or watch the sports news. He would send and receive pics/videos to/from his buddies at work when they were standing beside each other. :confused: I mean, couldn't they have simply SHOWN it to each other? He'd also disagree/argue with me via texting instead of direct conversations and try to get... ahem... romantic via texting as well. :lol:

 

We finally had to get rid of it altogether.

[Perry]

Text all ya want if it means I don't have to listen to you whine

 

Who's complaining about seeing people text? It's the excess, not the texting.

 

It's not okay with me if my kid gets drunk every night, even if I don't know about it. It's not okay with me if my kid sends 10,000 texts a month, even if I don't know about it. It's not okay because of the effect on them, not the effect on me.

 

Of course it's a tool. It's a great tool, one I use every day. No one is blaming the phone. I was hoping people could understand that there are many, many kids for whom this great technology is actually very disruptive, but apparently if you don't have a problem with it no one else does either.

 

Okay.

 

I see it's time for a board break.

 

 

See y'all.