Jean in Newcastle Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 and say that I wish my dh would not help around the house! (This is a vent, not a bash.) He is very capable and very loving. But he does it wrong! (And no, I would never ever tell him that.) But I am now reloading the dishwasher because he just tosses stuff in there with no rhyme or reason. We are missing a number of key things (like an important attachment to the vacuum cleaner) because he tidied and no one, including him, has any idea where he would have put them. :rant: There - that felt better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Not every woman. I love my dh and sometimes I wistfully think it would be nice to have more help around the house but honestly, I am such a control freak that I just get more frustrated when it is done wrong. I am trying to let some of this go as not even I seem to be able to live up to my standards but it is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Not every woman. Control freaks unite! I love that my husband helped out so much when I was sick, having babies, etc. I love doing it myself more, though. Because I do it right. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Not every woman. Control freaks unite! I love that my husband helped out so much when I was sick, having babies, etc. I love doing it myself more, though. Because I do it right. LOL :iagree::iagree: Although I do wish he'd get the kids out the house so I could clean it properly without them underfoot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jlynn Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I know exactly how you feel!!! For us its the laundry...I've had to finally get a clothes hamper just for myself so he won't ruin anymore of my things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I keep mine out of the laundry room.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I've stopped asking for help... mainly because he just keeps asking, "what should I do with this... where should I put that?" FTR, my "inbox is only 1" high... his is 12":glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Control freaks unite! Control Freak? Is that why I don't like dh in my kitchen? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I'm with you on this. Unless he is going to follow my directions explicitly, I would prefer that he not even try.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Amen sister. I just told my dh last night, "Please do NOT empty the dishwasher." Gosh, it took me months to find the lid to my favorite pot the last time. Don't even get me started on the laundry story.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Control Freak?Is that why I don't like dh in my kitchen? :001_huh: I'm afraid so. At least, that is what I've learned to accept about myself because there is no other explanation. It isn't pretty, but it is the truth. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 My husband puts things in the dryer (thinking he is helping) and then takes them out and shoves them into a basket as tightly as possible. :lol: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) . Edited February 22, 2011 by Aubrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 I feel obliged to offer as a counterbalance to my rant that dh asked me not so long ago to stop trying to be a pioneer woman. Every time I take it into my head to fix the dishwasher or to do other household maintenance, he ends up having to spend half a day undoing what I did!:blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 My husband learned his housekeeping skills in the Navy. He mops like a sailor swabbing the deck, which means that he skips the corners and mops right over stuff that should be moved. He washes down the kitchen as if he is hosing down a galley. Nobody could say that the things aren't "clean," but his masculine methods wreak havoc on the embroidery around here and severely interfere with my matriarch complex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I like my dh to help, but he attended military school for high school and junior college. He can clean bathrooms *and* he is pretty good at taking orders. He is a great sous chef. The only thing I don't like is him trying to clean the kitchen while I am cooking. Eta: he is also bad at laundry sometimes. He shrunk a pair of sockdreams socks the other day. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tullia Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 We're most comfortable with a clear division of labor; dh has his work, but I sometimes assist under his direction if asked. The same goes for my work--he helps when I ask, but I decide what is and is not a rational location for the paring knife and vegetable peeler. Most of the time we try our best to avoid meddling or giving unsolicited advice. I don't tell dh how to organize the toolbox and he lets me organize the pantry although he thinks my system is irrational. We do collaborate on yard work and construction projects; those are rewarding and challenging ;). We do "cross train" just enough so that in an emergency whoever is carrying the load can muddle through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I get really angry when my husband puts dishes away for me. I can never find anything. I don't know how he manages to put everything in the wrong places. I go to to use things (usually when he's not home) and can't find them. I look in every LOGICAL place and can't find what I need! He's not allowed to wash laundry. He knows this even though it's never been spoken in our 12 years together. He likes to ask the children to fold towels for me, thinking it helps. I get stressed out because they fold them wrong. I like them folded a certain way, and put away a certain way. Yeah, not only am I a control freak, I'm OCD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Yeah, my hubby, bless his heart, sweeps the floor after dinner and that's all he's allowed to do. THere's just certain way I like things done so I do it myself and that's the way I like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Not every woman. Control freaks unite! I love that my husband helped out so much when I was sick, having babies, etc. I love doing it myself more, though. Because I do it right. LOL Say it again sister! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Oh, Jean, I threw a big, gigantic hissy fit when my dh took over some of the chores when he was laid off. Do I even need to tell you how freaked out I got when he started folding the laundry entirely wrong? How about the grocery shopping that for 15 years, 15 YEARS, had been my job? Ugh. I told him that I'm sorry he lost his job but that doesn't mean he can take mine. Ha! I got used to it. I wait until he is grocery shopping and then hurry and refold all the clothes. He's a good sport and I know he needed to help. I'm just set in my ways and like it done my way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Amen sister. I just told my dh last night, "Please do NOT empty the dishwasher." Gosh, it took me months to find the lid to my favorite pot the last time. Don't even get me started on the laundry story.... Uh...yep. Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dina in Oklahoma Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 :lol::lol::lol: I'm still trying to locate things since DH unloaded the dishwasher for the few weeks I was down after surgery! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmulcahy Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I think I want his help and then I find myself overseeing what he is doing. Perhaps it's not the wrong way...it's just not my way:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 I think I want his help and then I find myself overseeing what he is doing. Perhaps it's not the wrong way...it's just not my way:D That's the thing. If he were to be always cooking and doing the dishes and setting up the cabinets, I'm sure he would have it organized so that he could find stuff. And then I would try to help and he would be ranting about me! I had two women helping me in the kitchen at two different times. One told me how nice it was to see someone who had things organized so logically. The other said that if I ever wanted help, she'd help me find a way to organize my cabinets so that they made sense.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I'm with you Jean... But I think its not because I'm a control freak, but because he accomplishes nothing, just moves stuff around which drives me crazy. I think he figures if he does something effectively, he might be asked to do it again. That's the only possible reason i can think of for a man to get to his 40s without learning how to fold a t-shirt or do a single load of laundry. He does do the grocery shopping very well though!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Thank-you for saying it:001_smile: I prefer to do things a certain way and when he helps, I'm tempted to redo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Well dh doesnt like me doing the laundry. He wants it done a certain way, and I am not submissive enough. :P. I just want it done. He likes particular items dried on low for 20 mins then on the rack. Other things do not dry at all and go on hangers. He also likes a load done daily, while I want to do it every 3 days or so. With dishes, he actually cleans a better kitchen, but I am 5x faster so he let's that one go. :D I have learned to give up control as I cannot do it all. The kids fold the laundry, horribly, but they fold it and put it away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 and say that I wish my dh would not help around the house! (This is a vent, not a bash.) He is very capable and very loving. But he does it wrong! (And no, I would never ever tell him that.) But I am now reloading the dishwasher because he just tosses stuff in there with no rhyme or reason. We are missing a number of key things (like an important attachment to the vacuum cleaner) because he tidied and no one, including him, has any idea where he would have put them. :rant: There - that felt better. Mine usually does it wrong, too, but I'd rather him do it wrong than it not get done at all. Considering the work schedules and other obligations around here, I'm just glad when anyone makes an effort to keep the house from being confused with the barn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 /sigh I wish I could get mine to NOT do things. He doesn't do much around the house but when he does... Like not rewrapping the vacuum cord around the proper place. He winds it up in had and draped it over the vacuum. :banghead: <-- pet peeve Or placing a dish out out on the back deck "cuz it stinks" rather than wash it out :001_huh: Or placing the used tez bag froma cup of tea on the counter instead of the trash 4 feet away :glare: What to do?? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Apparently I am a control freak too. The other night DH said, "I am just not going to help anymore! I never do things right!" After I said, "Honey just lay the shirts in the drawer nicely so they will all fit." I thought I said it politely and helpfully. Whoops, maybe I should have just let him do it? But. It. Drives. Me. Crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Tossing things in the dishwasher from 3 feet away? Yes, I am very familiar with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 One time, quite a long time ago, someone in my family was trying to help someone else with something with disasterous consequences (picute a few of the things Monk does). Ever since then when someone is trying to help us but really isn't we say, "Oh please don't help me!" It is said in a tongue in cheek, mildly sarcastic way but everyone knows what it means and gets the message without getting their feelings hurt. It relieves the stress and lets the person know that although we understand they are trying, they are really not helping. It is much kinder than another expression we use when someone is trying to tell us how to do something. Anyhow, my hubby is great and he does a great deal of the house work but their is a one dd who is forbidden to clean anyone else's house. She cleans very well but her method of puttting things away is to apparently drop them into a black hole and then promptly forget that she did that. So you are looking for something and you know she cleaned so you will ask her where the so-and-so is and she will swear up and down she has never seen it before in her life. Six month later when you find it in some crazy place and say, "Hey, did you put this here?" She will sheepishly admit, "Oh yeah, I did do that." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 I learned to live with both my son and my husband's different way of doing things. How the dishes are put away. As long as they are put in the same cupboard I can usually find them. Does it really matter in the long run which way the spoons are. I'd prefer they help, than leave it all to me. No, neither one is capable of sweeping the floor, so that's my job. And neither one has ever volunteered to do the laundry. I wish they would. I wouldn't complain if the towels were folded wrong. Because it isn't wrong. It just isn't my way. What I do mind is when he thinks he can do a better job of it and starts to show me how which makes me think I've not been doing a good job. My foible. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. I just quietly go behind and fix it - the placement of the pots, the shirts in the drawer. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 17, 2011 Author Share Posted February 17, 2011 (edited) I learned to live with both my son and my husband's different way of doing things. How the dishes are put away. As long as they are put in the same cupboard I can usually find them. Does it really matter in the long run which way the spoons are. I'd prefer they help, than leave it all to me. No, neither one is capable of sweeping the floor, so that's my job. And neither one has ever volunteered to do the laundry. I wish they would. I wouldn't complain if the towels were folded wrong. Because it isn't wrong. It just isn't my way. What I do mind is when he thinks he can do a better job of it and starts to show me how which makes me think I've not been doing a good job. My foible. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. I just quietly go behind and fix it - the placement of the pots, the shirts in the drawer. :) This is why I don't tell him not to do it or complain to him how he does it. But - we've been unable to use our vacuum cleaner for the last 2 weeks because he's lost a critical part. So some things do matter in the long run.:tongue_smilie: Edited February 17, 2011 by Jean in Newcastle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 LOL! My mum is just like this. It has to be done her way, so she usually has to redo what dad did earlier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 17, 2011 Share Posted February 17, 2011 Does it really matter in the long run which way the spoons are? Well, it matters if you can't find them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.