Is it "okay" to ask a stranger for their old pant ies?

[Heather in Neverland]

I think this might get the award for strangest/funniest thread title!

 

1.5 years ago when we moved here and we bought our mini-van we found an old pair of men's underwear in the back seat. :tongue_smilie:

[kalanamak]

:lol:Now I come to find out this is a real thing- people value worn out underwear as dustrags. Whodathunkit? :lol:

 

 

 

My mother, both frugal and proper, carefully trimmed their old undies so she had the nice stretches of cotton cloth, but all elastic and crotches carefully removed.

[Pretty in Pink]

That is beyond creepy. Why not ask for old cotton tshirts? I would either cancel the transaction and refund the $$$ if that is possible, or I would send the diapers. Only the diapers. And be done with it.

 

So wierd!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I guess it must say good things about me that I can't for the life of me figure out what would be the allure of diapers and formerly used underwear. To me. . . they're the exact opposite of titillating but are boring but necessary things!

[Soror]

I am not a suspicious person by nature and generally optimistic, saying that, I would cancel the transaction.

[Tullia]

This is definitely the strangest thread I've ever read here. Definitely creepy. This reminds me of something that happened to a friend many years ago. She wore home-made u.w. made by her frugal mother who bought knit remnants and saved elastic, so the patterns were usually kid/infant themed. She lived in an off-campus apartment and dried her clothes on a balcony rack. One day, all her u.w. disappeared--evrything except what she was wearing. Then, one day a couple of weeks later, it all reappeared--clean and meticulously folded. Said friend didn't have much money, so she washed them in hot water 3 times and tried not to think too much about where they'd been.

[Meriwether]

This is definitely the strangest thread I've ever read here. Definitely creepy. This reminds me of something that happened to a friend many years ago. She wore home-made u.w. made by her frugal mother who bought knit remnants and saved elastic, so the patterns were usually kid/infant themed. She lived in an off-campus apartment and dried her clothes on a balcony rack. One day, all her u.w. disappeared--evrything except what she was wearing. Then, one day a couple of weeks later, it all reappeared--clean and meticulously folded. Said friend didn't have much money, so she washed them in hot water 3 times and tried not to think too much about where they'd been.

 

:eek:

[Tullia]

:eek:

 

Yes, that! In Hank the Cowdog parlance, I'd have "burned them thaings"... and pawned something to buy new if that's what it took. It makes me shudder...what my friend thought was especially creepy was the fact that they were so neatly folded.

[vonfirmath]

I'd wait a good long time for that check to clear. I've heard of checks being "Posted" but not clearing for a week or two later, and the money being pulled from the account because it does not actually clear.

[Ibbygirl]

I guess it must say good things about me that I can't for the life of me figure out what would be the allure of diapers and formerly used underwear. To me. . . they're the exact opposite of titillating but are boring but necessary things!

 

I'm with you Jean. I know that there are creepy people out there in this world. I've met many in my life already, but for the life of me I never heard of the diaper thing before reading this thread. Part of me keeps wondering what in the world do they do with the diapers? They can't wear them because they'd be small and baby sized so then what do they actually do with them:confused::confused:.... but then my mind refuses to go any further to try to reason it out. It's just too :ack2: to think about. I don't know what they are really doing with them either. I don't think I want to know. :ack2:

[OnTheBrink]

Big, honking red flags are going up on my creep-o-meter, too.

 

I know you could use the money, but I don't think I'd want those people seeing my return address on the package. They might be a lot weirder than you think, and I wouldn't want them showing up at my house. :eek:

 

And SolaMichella -- I'm so sorry you had to find out something so bizarre. I'm sure it really messed with your head to think you were once attracted to the guy. :ack2: There are some things that are better left unknown -- unless, of course, the info resulted in a much more favorable divorce settlement for you. ;)

Cat

 

Yeah, it was a very surreal time for me. I found out other things, too, but I'll refrain from sharing. However, it did serve well with the settlement. He knew I knew something, but he didn't know exactly what I knew and he was terrified of what I knew becoming part of the public record, so he agreed to pretty much everything I wanted to keep our divorce from going to trial. And he still doesn't know what all I know. It's sort of an unspoken bargaining chip. But ya know, if you're going to be a lying, cheating skank, that's the price you're gonna have to pay.

 

Despite all that, we do get along well enough. He keeps his skankiness from dd and has learned not to mess with me. So, it's as good as it's going to be, considering. :)

[KnitWit]

To answer your question, OP...no. No, it is not okay.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

To answer your question, OP...no. No, it is not okay.

 

 

:lol:

 

 

I just got an email asking if they'd been shipped. Still waiting on the check to clear and still torn and totally NOT feeling good thanks to this thread. :lol: I hate going back on my word but gah! ... just GAH!

[Ibbygirl]

Yeah, it was a very surreal time for me. I found out other things, too, but I'll refrain from sharing. However, it did serve well with the settlement. He knew I knew something, but he didn't know exactly what I knew and he was terrified of what I knew becoming part of the public record, so he agreed to pretty much everything I wanted to keep our divorce from going to trial. And he still doesn't know what all I know. It's sort of an unspoken bargaining chip. But ya know, if you're going to be a lying, cheating skank, that's the price you're gonna have to pay.

 

Despite all that, we do get along well enough. He keeps his skankiness from dd and has learned not to mess with me. So, it's as good as it's going to be, considering. :)

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I can't even imagine what you went through with that man. It must of been just unbelievable. I'm so sorry you went through that. I tell you what though, I'm amazed at how kind and un-jaded you are. Something like that would have really tested my faith in humanity. You are a strong woman, Michelle. :grouphug:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Well, I'm not exactly well-known for my social grace, but I would respond thusly:

 

"Dear Person,

It completely CREEPS ME OUT that you would ask for used underwear and camis and diapers "just for dusting". Go get your jollies somewhere else, sicko.

 

Sincerely,

RecumbentHeart

 

P.S. If you are NOT a creep and really just wanted this stuff to dust your church, then.....Peace Be With You."

[mo2]

Well, I'm not exactly well-known for my social grace, but I would respond thusly:

 

"Dear Person,

It completely CREEPS ME OUT that you would ask for used underwear and camis and diapers "just for dusting". Go get your jollies somewhere else, sicko.

 

Sincerely,

RecumbentHeart

 

P.S. If you are NOT a creep and really just wanted this stuff to dust your church, then.....Peace Be With You."

 

:lol:

[Soror]

Well, I'm not exactly well-known for my social grace, but I would respond thusly:

 

"Dear Person,

It completely CREEPS ME OUT that you would ask for used underwear and camis and diapers "just for dusting". Go get your jollies somewhere else, sicko.

 

Sincerely,

RecumbentHeart

 

P.S. If you are NOT a creep and really just wanted this stuff to dust your church, then.....Peace Be With You."

So glad I didn't get that cup of tea before reading this!

[laundrycrisis]

:lol:

 

 

I just got an email asking if they'd been shipped. Still waiting on the check to clear and still torn and totally NOT feeling good thanks to this thread. :lol: I hate going back on my word but gah! ... just GAH!

 

I believe they are trying to pressure you to ship them before you have money, because they don't really intend to pay. I would cancel the transaction if possible, and if the money eventually comes in after that point, and is really really cleared, you can give a refund.

[Scarlett]

Well, I'm not exactly well-known for my social grace, but I would respond thusly:

 

"Dear Person,

It completely CREEPS ME OUT that you would ask for used underwear and camis and diapers "just for dusting". Go get your jollies somewhere else, sicko.

 

Sincerely,

RecumbentHeart

 

P.S. If you are NOT a creep and really just wanted this stuff to dust your church, then.....Peace Be With You."

 

This made me laugh. LOL

[Scarlett]

Yeah, it was a very surreal time for me. I found out other things, too, but I'll refrain from sharing. However, it did serve well with the settlement. He knew I knew something, but he didn't know exactly what I knew and he was terrified of what I knew becoming part of the public record, so he agreed to pretty much everything I wanted to keep our divorce from going to trial. And he still doesn't know what all I know. It's sort of an unspoken bargaining chip. But ya know, if you're going to be a lying, cheating skank, that's the price you're gonna have to pay.

 

Despite all that, we do get along well enough. He keeps his skankiness from dd and has learned not to mess with me. So, it's as good as it's going to be, considering. :)

 

You give me a run for my money on skankiest XH. Because of what I knew about XH I was able to convince him to give me full custody of ds. And my visitation schedule. He also doesn't know what all I know.

 

I wish I could get to the place you are where you don't seem to have any bitterness toward him. I'd still like to claw my XH's eyeballs out somedays.

 

\tj

[ThatCyndiGirl]

:lol:

 

 

I just got an email asking if they'd been shipped. Still waiting on the check to clear and still torn and totally NOT feeling good thanks to this thread. :lol: I hate going back on my word but gah! ... just GAH!

 

 

And you can always send the following email:

 

"Listen, Skanky McSkankerson, if you THINK for one lousy second that I'm gettin' scammed by your 'let's just send some Monopoly money for their old used unmentionables' then you can just THINK AGAIN! Go find an outlet for your sick perversion elsewhere, Creepo!

 

And, again, if you ARE wanting them just to dust your church, then....Peace Be With You, but no, I'm not sending the goods.

 

~RecumbentHeart"

[Night Elf]

I would probably cancel it too and be honest. I'd tell the person that the fact that he kept asking for more and more stuff beyond what I had for sale was a red flag, then him asking for you to ship the items before the check cleared was the 2nd red flag. As you are aware that all kinds of scams happen on craigslist, you feel very uncomfortable with this transaction. And I'd be done with it. What a bizarre circumstance!

 

BTW: $125 for dusting rags? Who pays that much money for dusting rags?? Why not ask church members to donate some dusting rags? I just don't get this whole scenario.

[Ibbygirl]

 

"Listen, Skanky McSkankerson,

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I would probably cancel it too and be honest. I'd tell the person that the fact that he kept asking for more and more stuff beyond what I had for sale was a red flag, then him asking for you to ship the items before the check cleared was the 2nd red flag. As you are aware that all kinds of scams happen on craigslist, you feel very uncomfortable with this transaction. And I'd be done with it. What a bizarre circumstance!

 

BTW: $125 for dusting rags? Who pays that much money for dusting rags?? Why not ask church members to donate some dusting rags? I just don't get this whole scenario.

 

 

And the huge bolded is why this is creepy. I've never heard of using old undergarments for dusting until this thread. I use old socks.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

And the huge bolded is why this is creepy. I've never heard of using old undergarments for dusting until this thread. I use old socks.

 

I was reminded of when I worked for an interior painter who used old socks as rags and imaging my reaction if she'd handed me old pant ies to use - or her reaction if I'd brought old pan ties for the rag bag - or better yet, the customer's reaction to seeing old pan ties laying around their house and being rubbed over their molding. :lol:

[CarolfromIL]

Hun don't you wonder what he will really be doing with your panties?

Carol

[Brilliant]

I would probably cancel it too and be honest. I'd tell the person that the fact that he kept asking for more and more stuff beyond what I had for sale was a red flag, then him asking for you to ship the items before the check cleared was the 2nd red flag. As you are aware that all kinds of scams happen on craigslist, you feel very uncomfortable with this transaction. And I'd be done with it. What a bizarre circumstance!

 

 

Yes...please do this tonight! And then make sure after you refund, to block his e-mail

[KatieH]

That's creepy. Seriously. Why buy people's old undies? If they really wanted them to dust, just go buy some cheap *new* ones at WalMart.

[Miss Sherry]

I guess it must say good things about me that I can't for the life of me figure out what would be the allure of diapers and formerly used underwear. To me. . . they're the exact opposite of titillating but are boring but necessary things!

Jean, but you are so very,very normal. Of course YOU would not be someone with some type of "weird" thing about those things. But there are some people out there , well, who are not so normal.

[OnTheBrink]

Well, I'm not exactly well-known for my social grace, but I would respond thusly:

 

"Dear Person,

It completely CREEPS ME OUT that you would ask for used underwear and camis and diapers "just for dusting". Go get your jollies somewhere else, sicko.

 

Sincerely,

RecumbentHeart

 

P.S. If you are NOT a creep and really just wanted this stuff to dust your church, then.....Peace Be With You."

 

:smilielol5:

[abbeyej]

:lol:

 

 

I just got an email asking if they'd been shipped. Still waiting on the check to clear and still torn and totally NOT feeling good thanks to this thread. :lol: I hate going back on my word but gah! ... just GAH!

 

Really, while the panties/diapers angle is disturbing, I think the immediate question is whether or not these people ever intended to give you the money they claim. You said "echeck", but what method did they use? Website? I think it *extremely* unlikely that you will ever get the money from this person. You will be out your merchandise *and* the money.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

Really, while the panties/diapers angle is disturbing, I think the immediate question is whether or not these people ever intended to give you the money they claim. You said "echeck", but what method did they use? Website? I think it *extremely* unlikely that you will ever get the money from this person. You will be out your merchandise *and* the money.

 

I'm definitely not sending without the money. It was sent through Pay Pal and I was already paranoid wondering why someone would send an eCheck that needs up to 5 days to clear when they could just do instant transfer. So yeah, I'm not counting my chickens until the egg has hatched. :tongue_smilie:

 

DH, disturbed by the possibilities brought up in this thread, decided last night to go and read through all my email correspondence with this person and his impression was, in the flow of the context and all that had already been said earlier on, that the request for the undergarments didn't strike him as odd as it had when he first heard about it via my brief summary so maybe I'm not giving the clearest picture and it's not the clearest in my head since these emails took place over quite a few days so I didn't even remember precisely some of things mentioned in early emails when DH read it to me though granted, at the time I first read them I was still thinking all this was for a church nursery, not cleaning. (talk about a run on sentence :tongue_smilie:I'm not even going to try to fix it, sorry)

 

Perhaps in the persons defense against fetishism - I had asked if they would like other cloth diapering stuff (covers, snappis, etc) and they declined which is when they mentioned the diapers were for cleaning.

 

Considering some of the people mentioned in previous posts (like the MIL, I think it was, who offered her teenagers boxers for a cleaning rag, humiliating him in the process) I'm still trying to think that this person is innocently nutty .. particularly since DH now intends to send the diapers if the check clears (no pa nties though).

 

I asked DH to at least be praying for our safety and I am vowing off selling diapers on Cra*gslist ever again. :blink:

[MBM]

I have not read all of the responses, but wouldn't a church just ask members for diapers and other cottony rags?

 

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

In a freakish coincidence - I just got a call from a location 2 hours away from this persons zip code and all I heard when I picked up was "I'm sorry" from a male, computerish sounding voice and then the call disconnected.

 

Can you tell I'm still paranoid?

 

eta: It is just paranoia .. the number was reported by someone this morning for doing the same thing to them. You ladies have me on edge now. :lol:

Edited January 26, 2011 by RecumbentHeart

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I still stand by someone else's earlier assessment which is this:

 

Why would someone pay $125 (did I read that right, one hundred twenty five dollars?!) for dust rags?!!! when they could easily spend much less by going to goodwill and buying old t-shirts. (if parishoners didn't have old clothing). THAT is what doesn't add up here.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I still stand by someone else's earlier assessment which is this:

 

Why would someone pay $125 (did I read that right, one hundred twenty five dollars?!) for dust rags?!!! when they could easily spend much less by going to goodwill and buying old t-shirts. (if parishoners didn't have old clothing). THAT is what doesn't add up here.

 

I straight up told them they weren't even worth it in my opinion once the shipping was added (I asked $90 before shipping and would have settled for less without feeling like it was a bad deal) but figured, hey, if they want to pay, who am I to argue?

 

**thinking happy thoughts**

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

The check cleared.

[Catwoman]

If you send the stuff, be sure to use delivery confirmation at the very least, but I might even mail it with a return receipt required. This person sounds potentially shifty to me, and might very well file a complaint with PayPal saying he never received the package. (PayPal tends to side with buyers, so you have to be careful when you sense any red flags.)

 

You could also ship UPS and require a signature.

 

Cat

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

If you send the stuff, be sure to use delivery confirmation at the very least, but I might even mail it with a return receipt required. This person sounds potentially shifty to me, and might very well file a complaint with PayPal saying he never received the package. (PayPal tends to side with buyers, so you have to be careful when you sense any red flags.)

 

You could also ship UPS and require a signature.

 

Cat

 

Yeah, I've been concerned about that. I'm definitely thinking signature. It's good that their address is confirmed, right?

[springmama]

This creeps me out big time. I used to be active in the cloth diapering community and remember a few stories of men with diaper fetishes who stole pictures of little ones in diaper and put them up on pedophile sites and people who tried to order diapers from WAHMs for sick reasons....this also reminds me of the time a friend told me about perverts buying dirty old socks and slippers from ebay. I didn't believe her so I searched "worn socks" and sure enough, there is a market for old nasty socks. I'd bet a million dollars if ebay allowed the sale of used underwear, there would be a market for that as well.

 

I would bet anything that these will not be used for cleaning churches.

[Soror]

Have you listened to Clark Howard he talks alot about how checks clear at first and then weeks later it comes back as fraudulent- check out his site and read on it more before you send anything.

[springmama]

Have you listened to Clark Howard he talks alot about how checks clear at first and then weeks later it comes back as fraudulent- check out his site and read on it more before you send anything.

 

Yikes! It might be a good idea to just refund the money and forget about it. Since you've gotten used to the idea of shipping them, can you just list them on diaperswappers.com instead? At least there, most participants in the message board are moms.

[vonfirmath]

Have you listened to Clark Howard he talks alot about how checks clear at first and then weeks later it comes back as fraudulent- check out his site and read on it more before you send anything.

 

This is what I referred to that I am afraid of in this case.

Basically the bank makes the money available in your account for the deposited check BEFORE verifying that the check holder HAS the money in their account/receiving that money. Then when the check is denied from the other bank, they remove the money from your account that they had previously allowed you to use. It's something the bank does to allow you to access your money faster.

 

Here's a description of what happens: http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20101226/23370012415/shouldnt-we-fix-check-clearing-loophole-that-so-many-scammers-abuse.shtml

http://banking.about.com/od/checkingaccounts/a/clearingchecks.htm

 

From what this says, it sounds like you need to call your bank and make sure the check has been validated

Edited January 26, 2011 by vonfirmath

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

No, haven't heard of Clark Howard. I'll check that out. Thanks!

[cin]

Unfortunately, the diapering community has had a lot of hits from people with fetishes.

 

Yeah, when I was prepping for DD, and did an ebay search on cloth diapers

 

:svengo: :eek: :scared: :ack2: :blushing: :rolleyes:

 

Reminds me also of a CSI Vegas show one time. Apparently there is a generalized Baby Fetish thing. At least on the show, you could buy adult sized baby items.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I agree. A check usually does not fully 'clear' this fast. That's how the craigslist scam works with cars and other bigger ticket items. They scam you because it was a CHECK. (And, I mean, really, very few people do business online by CHECK!) To me that is a HUGE red flag.

 

I realize that there are families who live card-free. I get that, but this whole scenario has huge red flags. I would sooner be stuck with something I wanted to get rid of than do business with this 'buyer'.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I'm searching Clark Howard but not finding the info on echecks clearing and then later coming up bad. Does anyone have a direct link?

 

.. this is an interesting site btw. I'm getting totally side tracked reading other stuff while trying to find what I'm looking for ...

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I agree. A check usually does not fully 'clear' this fast.

 

It took 5 days. How long do they usually take?

[Sara R]

Your username is cracking me up, in the context of this thread.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

It took 5 days. How long do they usually take?

 

It's been so long since I've had anyone give me a check that I don't even know anymore. lol

 

I will say, though, that unless I have known someone for YEARS online (like Negin in Grenada, I've known her for many years) I would never accept a check. And, in person, I'd want cash, anyway.