Tap Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this? LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers. I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers. I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys. :iagree: I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted December 24, 2010 Author Share Posted December 24, 2010 Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers. I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys. :iagree: I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here. That is good to hear. Dh and I were talking about it tonight and I feel better knowing that she feels comfortable enough telling me, and laughing about it. I had her over today and we made Christmas cookies with just her and my dd12. It was nice to chat and to get to know her more. I carpool the kids a bit so I already have had the chance to visit with her some, but she was here today for 5 hours before ds got home so we talked more than usual. Her father had told us about it this summer and laughed it off, but her retelling it today just made me wonder if I should be more worried that I was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 She is just making sure everyone knows she is in "wuv". (I once wrote an, I thought, clever punning mash note, unsigned, to a redhead who looked really GREAT in a kilt. I slipped it under his door when I knew he wasn't home. I heard him tell his friends and he was shocked and frightened. I knew then he was a wimp and lost all interest.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 She is just making sure everyone knows she is in "wuv". (I once wrote an, I thought, clever punning mash note, unsigned, to a redhead who looked really GREAT in a kilt. I slipped it under his door when I knew he wasn't home. I heard him tell his friends and he was shocked and frightened. I knew then he was a wimp and lost all interest.) :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Nothing to worry about. If she said it jokingly, she meant it jokingly. Totally normal teen behavior.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens. Yeah, my kids say I "stalk" them on FB. At first, I took umbrage; then I realized that it is a practically meaningless term to them. Yes, I look at their (boring) FB pages. No, I don't post anything there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 MomsintheGarden's brother's second wife used to joke that she was his "stalker" before they got married! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I have a relative (my age) who was stalked by a girl in high school. When she slept on his family's porch one night, I think everyone was rather taken aback (as this boy had never really had much attention from girls) and a bit scared. I think someone had to talk to her. Another then-teenaged relative was also recently in a relationship with a very possessive and strange girl. I wouldn't worry if she seems normal, but keep your eye on her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers. I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys. :iagree: I used to make my mom drive down the street of the boy I was 'in love' with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this? LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:. Well my teenaged sons call it "stalking" if you look at someone's facebook page! :tongue_smilie: So I qualify as a stalker by teenaged standards. I think the fact that she is laughing/talking about it is all you need to know. That and the fact that the meaning of "stalking" the way adults talk about it and the way teens talk about is very different. I have never met a real stalker, but I would guess that it is secretive. I would expect there to be lack of connection to reality at some level and a high degree of possessiveness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Sounds normal to me. I remember doing the same types of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here. Me, too. I didn't turn into Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction." ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Haven't read the other replies, but I would say that it rings some bells for my own behavior as a teenager.:tongue_smilie: This was not uncommon behavior for my friends and me...and we were just typical teens. I don't think it means anything nefarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I've been stalked...they don't own up to it!!! Sounds like she has great sense of humor and some room for growth :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 At a church we used to go to the pastor was talking about "studying" his now-wife (back when they were both in college) before he asked her out. How he'd see when she left her dorm, which classes she had, who she hung out with, etc. He joked, "These days they call that 'stalking'." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Immaturity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this? LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:. Teens use the word "stalker" differently than we do. Sort of slangy. They call eachother "Facebook Stalkers" etc. I wouldn't worry too much. They just use language differently, and well, they are teenagers. Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 It sounds normal to me. It is neat you had her over to visit with you and dd. I don't remember doing things like that with the families of boys I dated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens. :iagree: My kids use that word all the time! I have tried to explain the difference to them between how that word should be used vs how they use it, but they just laugh it off. I would not be concerned, but as with any teen relationship these days, I would be aware of how serious they get. There seem to be a lot more love-gone-wrong tragedies these days and for that reason I will encourage all my kids to set relationship boundaries right from the get-go, at least until they are of age to actually consider marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Sounds normal. I used to have a boyfriend that would always drive by my house and beep his horn - he had a major crush on me but was too shy to ask me out. I finally asked him out. He was totally normal, not stalkerish at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmwife Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 I stalked a boy when I was a teenager....girls can be obsessive when they are that age. They get over it, I wouldn't worry! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted December 24, 2010 Share Posted December 24, 2010 Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers. I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys. I would call my boyfriend (now husband)'s phone when I knew he wouldn't be home just to listen to his voice on his answering machine. LOL I wouldn't completely dismiss it, I'd just keep it way in the back of mind when watching what she's doing now. Sounds teenage, "in love" silliness really. But, I'd probably also look out the window a little more often, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 '' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 Totally & completely normal. Her description of "stalking" sums up my teenage years....stalking boys with my girl friends all.of.the.time. Sometimes it was a boy I liked...other times it was a boy they liked. We would prank call, drive-by, sit & stare at their vehicle, house, show up where they were, etc. Very weird but harmless, lol. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 My high school sweetheart stalked me before he got up the nerve to ask me to prom. I didn't know he knew where I lived until he drove up and asked me. Later, he admitted to strategically hanging out right where I had to walk by to get to my first class. Yes, I saw him every single morning. He also had "spies" in at least one of my classes. He was fine. Very sweet. I nearly married him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 No red flags here. Typical teenage girl behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathkath Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 lol I totally did that to dh early on too. And I was 26!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 A lot of kids I know around here joke about "stalking" and have for about the past 5-6 years. I've never known of someone to do it in the sense of what we traditionally used to think of as "stalking", so I tend to think the term has evolved into something new.... That doesn't mean there aren't still the old fashioned kind of stalkers around; just that the typical teen is not one of them, no matter how they style themselves.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted December 26, 2010 Share Posted December 26, 2010 Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this? LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:. Not having read the other answers I have to say my friends and I were all stalkers. We were constantly driving by houses and places of work. One time I had a friend call and find out what schedule a guy I liked picked and then went and scheduled almost all of my classes with his. PATHETIC, but true. LOL I would not be too concerned. I ended up in a perfectly normal relationship with a semi normal life. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.