Ds's girlfriend openly admits to 'stalkerish' traits WWYD?

[Tap]

Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this?

 

 

LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:.

[Samiam]

Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers.

 

I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys.

[silliness7]

Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers.

 

I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys.

 

:iagree: I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here.

[Tap]

Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers.

 

I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys.

 

:iagree: I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here.

 

That is good to hear. Dh and I were talking about it tonight and I feel better knowing that she feels comfortable enough telling me, and laughing about it.

 

I had her over today and we made Christmas cookies with just her and my dd12. It was nice to chat and to get to know her more. I carpool the kids a bit so I already have had the chance to visit with her some, but she was here today for 5 hours before ds got home so we talked more than usual.

 

Her father had told us about it this summer and laughed it off, but her retelling it today just made me wonder if I should be more worried that I was.

[kalanamak]

She is just making sure everyone knows she is in "wuv". (I once wrote an, I thought, clever punning mash note, unsigned, to a redhead who looked really GREAT in a kilt. I slipped it under his door when I knew he wasn't home. I heard him tell his friends and he was shocked and frightened. I knew then he was a wimp and lost all interest.)

[silliness7]

She is just making sure everyone knows she is in "wuv". (I once wrote an, I thought, clever punning mash note, unsigned, to a redhead who looked really GREAT in a kilt. I slipped it under his door when I knew he wasn't home. I heard him tell his friends and he was shocked and frightened. I knew then he was a wimp and lost all interest.)

 

:lol::lol:

[happi duck]

It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens.

[Lolly]

Nothing to worry about. If she said it jokingly, she meant it jokingly. Totally normal teen behavior.:001_smile:

[RoughCollie]

It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens.

 

Yeah, my kids say I "stalk" them on FB. At first, I took umbrage; then I realized that it is a practically meaningless term to them. Yes, I look at their (boring) FB pages. No, I don't post anything there.

[RegGuheert]

MomsintheGarden's brother's second wife used to joke that she was his "stalker" before they got married! :D

[stripe]

I have a relative (my age) who was stalked by a girl in high school. When she slept on his family's porch one night, I think everyone was rather taken aback (as this boy had never really had much attention from girls) and a bit scared. I think someone had to talk to her. Another then-teenaged relative was also recently in a relationship with a very possessive and strange girl. I wouldn't worry if she seems normal, but keep your eye on her.

[TXMary2]

Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers.

 

I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys.

 

:iagree: I used to make my mom drive down the street of the boy I was 'in love' with.

[Laurie4b]

Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this?

 

 

LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:.

 

Well my teenaged sons call it "stalking" if you look at someone's facebook page! :tongue_smilie: So I qualify as a stalker by teenaged standards.

 

I think the fact that she is laughing/talking about it is all you need to know. That and the fact that the meaning of "stalking" the way adults talk about it and the way teens talk about is very different.

 

I have never met a real stalker, but I would guess that it is secretive. I would expect there to be lack of connection to reality at some level and a high degree of possessiveness.

[ChristusG]

Sounds normal to me. I remember doing the same types of things.

[Mejane]

I remember doing silly stuff like that too. No red flags here.

 

Me, too. I didn't turn into Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction." ;)

[texasmama]

Haven't read the other replies, but I would say that it rings some bells for my own behavior as a teenager.:tongue_smilie: This was not uncommon behavior for my friends and me...and we were just typical teens. I don't think it means anything nefarious.

[simka2]

I've been stalked...they don't own up to it!!!

 

Sounds like she has great sense of humor and some room for growth :)

[Cinder]

At a church we used to go to the pastor was talking about "studying" his now-wife (back when they were both in college) before he asked her out. How he'd see when she left her dorm, which classes she had, who she hung out with, etc. He joked, "These days they call that 'stalking'."

[Parrothead]

Immaturity.

[Mommyfaithe]

Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this?

 

 

LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:.

 

Teens use the word "stalker" differently than we do. Sort of slangy. They call eachother "Facebook Stalkers" etc. I wouldn't worry too much. They just use language differently, and well, they are teenagers.

 

Faithe

[In the Rain]

It sounds normal to me. It is neat you had her over to visit with you and dd. I don't remember doing things like that with the families of boys I dated.

[AuntieM]

It seems like the word "stalker" has lost any sinister meaning with teens.

:iagree:

 

My kids use that word all the time! I have tried to explain the difference to them between how that word should be used vs how they use it, but they just laugh it off.

 

I would not be concerned, but as with any teen relationship these days, I would be aware of how serious they get. There seem to be a lot more love-gone-wrong tragedies these days and for that reason I will encourage all my kids to set relationship boundaries right from the get-go, at least until they are of age to actually consider marriage.

[Sparkle]

Sounds normal. I used to have a boyfriend that would always drive by my house and beep his horn - he had a major crush on me but was too shy to ask me out. I finally asked him out. He was totally normal, not stalkerish at all.

[farmwife]

I stalked a boy when I was a teenager....girls can be obsessive when they are that age. They get over it, I wouldn't worry! :)

[ConnieB]

Umm, sounds like teenage girl behaviour, at least main stream teenagers.

 

I remember doing silly stuff like that, driving by boy's homes, showing up at places I knew he would be at, going to his place of work (usually a retail place). All of my friends did that kind of stuff. Course that was in the early 90's before "stalking" was really an issue. But we were just innocent girls with crushes on boys.

 

I would call my boyfriend (now husband)'s phone when I knew he wouldn't be home just to listen to his voice on his answering machine. LOL

 

I wouldn't completely dismiss it, I'd just keep it way in the back of mind when watching what she's doing now. Sounds teenage, "in love" silliness really. But, I'd probably also look out the window a little more often, lol.

[mirth]

''

[susankenny]

Totally & completely normal. Her description of "stalking" sums up my teenage years....stalking boys with my girl friends all.of.the.time. Sometimes it was a boy I liked...other times it was a boy they liked. We would prank call, drive-by, sit & stare at their vehicle, house, show up where they were, etc.

 

Very weird but harmless, lol.

 

 

Susan

[joannqn]

My high school sweetheart stalked me before he got up the nerve to ask me to prom. I didn't know he knew where I lived until he drove up and asked me.

 

Later, he admitted to strategically hanging out right where I had to walk by to get to my first class. Yes, I saw him every single morning. He also had "spies" in at least one of my classes.

 

He was fine. Very sweet. I nearly married him.

[Word Nerd]

No red flags here. Typical teenage girl behavior.

[kathkath]

lol I totally did that to dh early on too. And I was 26!!

[mcconnellboys]

A lot of kids I know around here joke about "stalking" and have for about the past 5-6 years. I've never known of someone to do it in the sense of what we traditionally used to think of as "stalking", so I tend to think the term has evolved into something new.... That doesn't mean there aren't still the old fashioned kind of stalkers around; just that the typical teen is not one of them, no matter how they style themselves....

[happyhomemaker25]

Ds16's girlfriend(16) admits openly to 'stalking' (her word not mine) ds before he started dating her (like parking outside the house she thought we lived in at night). She is friendly and nice and ds says she hasn't sent up any red flags about being possesive etc. It just makes me wonder if admitting to it and being open is a good sign? What do I need to know about this?

 

 

LOL She mentions it mostly like a joke :lol:, but at the same time :001_huh:.

 

Not having read the other answers I have to say my friends and I were all stalkers. We were constantly driving by houses and places of work. One time I had a friend call and find out what schedule a guy I liked picked and then went and scheduled almost all of my classes with his. PATHETIC, but true. LOL I would not be too concerned. I ended up in a perfectly normal relationship with a semi normal life. :)