Rainy Friday question - observations on senior citizens

[AuntieM]

Hope you don't mind indulging me for my November writing project...

 

What sorts of things do you typically associate with senior citizens?

 

These things can range from subtleties of stubbornness to truly eccentric behaviors/beliefs. This is for a work of fiction, so either stereotypical or actual thoughts are welcome.

 

Thanks for playing along!

[Mejane]

Shuffleboard and bingo, early-bird specials, wearing those shields from the optometrist as sunglasses. :D I do love me some old people!

 

I'd seriously also say patriotism, better manners than most of us have nowadays, and a strong work ethic.

[AuntieM]

Shuffleboard and bingo, early-bird specials, wearing those shields from the optometrist as sunglasses. :D I do love me some old people!

 

I'd seriously also say patriotism, better manners than most of us have nowadays, and a strong work ethic.

 

 

These are soooo true, thanks for reminding me!!!

[Mama Geek]

 

 

I came across this song last year and about died laughing. The video has nothing to do with the song.:lol::lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

brutal honesty;) - many of the elderly we work with do not have as many inhibitions and so whatever they think is what comes out of their mouths.

 

intensification of what they were as someone younger - if someone fretted quietly in the past, now they become a hand-wringing worrier; if someone was feisty, look out now!; if someone was good natured, they take even the hits of old age with grace; if a man was a lech, then watch out - he'll grab for your you-know-what. . .

[Gooblink]

My boys and I volunteer once a month at a nursing home, where we help set bowling pins for their weekly game. There are about 30 or so residents who shuffle or roll in with walkers and wheelchairs. Aside from a group of 5 or so ladies who laugh and joke around, the group pretty much sits in the circle, dozing or staring into space, until a staff member coaxes one into the center of the circle to roll the ball.

 

It's cute, comforting in a way, and sad at the same time. They get $.25 for each strike rolled, and the lucid ones are pretty competitive. One time I brought the ball up for one of the ladies and she asked me if I spit in it. :confused: She also confused me with someone from her childhood, so....

 

The ball is made of rubber with holes for their fingers, and the pins are plastic, but both pins and balls are sized like the real thing.

 

The air in the home can be oppressive. It's not that it smells bad (though, at times it does) as much as there's a presence of powder or something in the air that causes our allergies to flare up.

 

:)

[jld]

Dh says they're always in a hurry, and so they have to go first. He thinks their entitlement mentality is really unfortunate, as it makes them think first of what they can get for themselves, instead of what they can give back to society in their twilight years.

 

I appreciate the more moderate social sense most of the elderly have. Specifically, they seem to know how to get along with people they disagree with politically without necessarily being unkind. Most of the young people I know, especially on one side of the aisle, are willing to do almost anything just to promote their cause. I think the elderly, even on that side of the aisle, have a little more decency.

[Parrothead]

A shuffling gait.

[NanceXToo]

Driving verrrrry slowly...leaned forward so their noses are right over their steering wheels....

[MaMa2005]

Putting pen to paper when trying to sort things out, i.e. the pros and cons of a situation. It often seems that if they can see it on paper, it is easier for them to make a decision.

 

Great manners. Honesty about anything and everything. Being frugal (so many can still remember the hard times of the Great Depression.)

 

Black socks (often with sandals) with bermuda shorts.

[TN Mama]

Being lonely, speaking their mind and not giving a hoot about who might be offended, routine, telling and re-telling the same stories over and over, storytelling in general, saving/reusing many items younger generations usually toss (think aluminum foil, ziploc bags)...

 

All of my examples are personal experience of either family or the men & women at the nursing home our troop has adopted.

[Tenaj]

The first thing I thought of was watching the Weather Channel for hours (not minutes) - my dh's family.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with the posters who have mentioned manners, discretion (unless dementia is involved), and somehow many have a dignity of manner that I can't quite manage.

[Miss Marple]

Hope you don't mind indulging me for my November writing project...

 

What sorts of things do you typically associate with senior citizens?

 

These things can range from subtleties of stubbornness to truly eccentric behaviors/beliefs. This is for a work of fiction, so either stereotypical or actual thoughts are welcome.

 

Thanks for playing along!

 

The first thing I think of is bad smells :tongue_smilie: I swear that odor receptors go missing in the elderly nostrils. Of course, it might be best to define senior citizens (I'm talking the over 80 group).

 

They also repeat the same story over and over and over...

[happi duck]

too much information!

[Belacqua]

Driving verrrrry slowly...leaned forward so their noses are right over their steering wheels....

 

While leaving the turn signal on for 30 miles.

 

When I think of old people, I think of carefully tended gardens, a taste for sweets (especially ice cream; I can easily bribe the old people in my life with a cup of pralines & cream), and knick-knacks, often kept in glass-doored cabinets.

[Crimson Wife]

intensification of what they were as someone younger - if someone fretted quietly in the past, now they become a hand-wringing worrier; if someone was feisty, look out now!; if someone was good natured, they take even the hits of old age with grace; if a man was a lech, then watch out - he'll grab for your you-know-what. . .

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[nono]

Most of the people in our town are old. It's a vacation area to which folks retire.

 

When I read your question, I thought of smiles....always time for a wave, a quip, or a full conversation, depending on the situation. (And that goes for everyone in town, including the trashmen!)

 

In general, the 70+ crowd here has a wealth of knowledge if you are willing to sit and listen. My husband got excellent career advice for a down economy from one of our neighbors by simply sitting and listening to his musings one afternoon. He put the advice to use earlier this year when he left a job he knew was ending. I'll never forget that kindness! :)

[Mama Geek]

WHAT, hasn't anyone listened to the song that I linked to? It is hilarious and is about this thread. You don't know what you are missing if you don't listen to it.

[Debbi in Texas]

Levi Garrett snuff

[Aggie]

Wisdom.

Experience.

Great losses.

Great joys.

Memories.

Silver hair.

Bald scalps.

Dignity.

Respect that's been earned, not expected.

Arms that comforted a grieving friend in years past and are now barely able to pick up anything.

Soft skin on hands that used to do create, but now are riddled with arthritis.

Eyes that have seen so much and yet can barely see anything now.

[Barry Goldwater]

One I haven't seen...allowing tasks that used to take little time in the younger days, now stretching into hours or all day (reading the mail, cleaning the house, going shopping).

 

Claiming to never have enough time (my elderly dad's favorite! He's been retired 25 yrs!)

 

Eating dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.

 

Doting on grandkids.

 

Falling asleep in the day, or taking naps, and then denying it!

 

Being a lot smarter than given credit for... :001_huh:

 

Fixating on family heirlooms.

 

Saying the names of all their children before getting to the one they mean!

 

Frustration with new technology...Netflix nearly did my parents in...

[Gratia271]

Worldwide travel, philanthropy, wisdom

[AndyJoy]

In my town large groups of senior citizens hang out at McDonald's to drink cheap coffee and gossip about other senior citizens. It's pretty hilarious to overhear some of their conversations about who is dating who. If you read a transcript rather than hearing their voices, you'd think you were in the high school cafeteria!

 

I frequently interact with senior citizens at the grocery store because my 1-year-old is a flirt and most senior citizens can't resist stopping to chat with him and tell me how cute he is. Senior citizens are the majority of the pre-9 am grocery shoppers.

 

I have found senior citizens more willing than the average person to just strike up a conversation with a stranger in the grocery store while waiting in line or looking at the same coupon or sale item.

[jld]

In my town large groups of senior citizens hang out at McDonald's to drink cheap coffee and gossip about other senior citizens. It's pretty hilarious to overhear some of their conversations about who is dating who. If you read a transcript rather than hearing their voices, you'd think you were in the high school cafeteria!

 

 

LOL! Another American woman was telling me about her dh's father, who, at 89, is living with his 86 year old girlfriend. (Apparently they would lose some financial advantages if they got married.) He announced to his kids and grandkids and great-grandkids that he would be moving in with her, saying that he would be living in sin with her from now on. She said everybody cracked up at hearing him use that phrase, and seeing how embarrassed he felt about it. I'm sure he's thinking that times sure have changed since he was young . . .

[scubamama]

Wisdom.

Experience.

Great losses.

Great joys.

Memories.

Silver hair.

Bald scalps.

Dignity.

Respect that's been earned, not expected.

Arms that comforted a grieving friend in years past and are now barely able to pick up anything.

Soft skin on hands that used to do create, but now are riddled with arthritis.

Eyes that have seen so much and yet can barely see anything now.

 

 

These brought tears to my eyes!

Old folks are a treasure....I worked in a nursing home as an aid while in nursing school and I still thnk about all the great advice and things I learned from the folks there...of course there were some seriously dememted people too- that was very sad to see.

[Trish]

Dh says they're always in a hurry, and so they have to go first. He thinks their entitlement mentality is really unfortunate, as it makes them think first of what they can get for themselves, instead of what they can give back to society in their twilight years.

 

I appreciate the more moderate social sense most of the elderly have. Specifically, they seem to know how to get along with people they disagree with politically without necessarily being unkind. Most of the young people I know, especially on one side of the aisle, are willing to do almost anything just to promote their cause. I think the elderly, even on that side of the aisle, have a little more decency.

 

I think they're always in a hurry because they have to use the bathroom!

 

Here's one for fiction, my friend's older mother tells long stories populated with a lot of side references to people, often puncuated with "he's dead now," as she carries on with the story.

[hillfarm]

While some people are wonderful and advanced age only enhances their strengths, others were unpleasant, self-centered jerks when young and have only gotten worse as they aged.

 

I think of wrinkles so deep that it is almost impossible to imagine that their skin was once stretched smooth over strong muscles.

 

I think of organ systems that are wearing out and wonder whether it is a blessing or a curse for the brain to go also.

 

I think of certain "styles" of clothing that seem ageless and the property of the old - starched cotton housedresses, guayabera shirts, heavy, dark rubber sandals, terrycloth house shoes, polyester doubleknit slacks in pastel colors, plastic rain hats that fold small to be carried in one's purse. And "helmet hair" that looks so heavily hairsprayed that it would break off if touched, always in that odd shade of silver blue.

 

My MIL also has trouble with technology, seeming to believe that if you push the wrong button with more force it will cause the desired result. She has mastered email though and sends us endless streams of ever forwarded inspirational and slightly humorous messages. She refuses to delete any email until she reads it and so occasionally has to wade through 200 or so to clear her message queue.

 

My DM unfortunately is one of the ones who seems to be getting worse with age, not better. She is convinced that every one in her social circle lives only to copy her ideas. So she often cuts her nose off to spite her face by declining social opportunities because she doesn't want so and so to come over and see her wonderful decorating ideas, go home and recreate them, and then claim that she thought of it first. Her back pain is worse than anyone else's in the history of back pain, her sinus troubles more debilitating, and her arthritis more restrictive. It makes me sad to see how much good and fun she blocks from coming into her life because of her attitude.

 

HTH

[jld]

I think they're always in a hurry because they have to use the bathroom!

 

 

 

LOL!

[mcconnellboys]

Volunteering/traveling in groups such as seniors without borders. Taking continuing education classes, fitness classes, etc. The "red hat" society....

[LauraGB]

Tonight's personal experience is not too rosy, but if it helps, I will provide material.

 

Cantankerous

Opinionated

Stubborn

Self-Important

[kalanamak]

LOL! Another American woman was telling me about her dh's father, who, at 89, is living with his 86 year old girlfriend. (Apparently they would lose some financial advantages if they got married.) He announced to his kids and grandkids and great-grandkids that he would be moving in with her, saying that he would be living in sin with her from now on. She said everybody cracked up at hearing him use that phrase, and seeing how embarrassed he felt about it. I'm sure he's thinking that times sure have changed since he was young . . .

 

One of my old patients said "I'm living in sin, but it doesn't feel very sinful".

 

Often, IMO, the sense of humor gets gets better.

 

I have such a soft spot for the elderly, the papery skin and the bright eyes in all those folds, the bony knuckles. I see the all the babies they lifted, all the boards sawed.

 

I remember going to a large group home to see a few patients in their beds. Down the hall was a man who still walked pretty well, and in his room was a picture of him and the most beautiful, dark haired woman, beaming, with a baby in her arms. He told me that 3 years after that photo, she was struck by a car outside their rural house, and she died in his arms. It was the most enchanting photo I've ever seen, and I wanted to be completely inappropriate and ask him to put me in his will, and give me that photo. Of course I didn't, but at the oddest times I'll see her face, and him, plain, behind her, faithful to her for the next 60 years.

[FlockOfSillies]

When they go to lunch, they always ask for a box to take home the leftovers. They eat like birds.

 

The ladies can often be found wearing knee-high nylons.

 

They *love* dollar stores.

 

Thinning hair, liver spots, skin wounds that just don't seem to heal, and a self-confidence that worries very little about what other people think.

 

It's funny, because our parents are senior citizens, but I don't think of them as senior citizens. Senior citizens/old people are quirky fuddy-duddies. Our parents are just our parents, but older and grayer versions of the people we grew up with. And when they do something that's totally viejito, it's a bit of a shock.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Hope you don't mind indulging me for my November writing project...

 

What sorts of things do you typically associate with senior citizens?

 

These things can range from subtleties of stubbornness to truly eccentric behaviors/beliefs. This is for a work of fiction, so either stereotypical or actual thoughts are welcome.

 

Thanks for playing along!

 

Being surprised at how smart, capable and experienced they are.

 

I tend to underestimate older people. I think that I equate their current frailty and unfamiliarity with modern technology with a lessoned intellect. I remember when I was just out of the Navy, I was a pretty cocky person. I volunteered to work in the church library and I had visions of bringing order to the place. I was put to work checking books in and shelving them. Then I was given the library policy notebook to take home and read.

 

In the notebook were the how tos of running the library, intelligent responses to challenges to a several books (in some cases explaining to senior pastors/elders why the book should remain and in one case explaining why the senior librarian thought the book was a poor choice for the church library, despite being requested by a study group teacher). It even had the librarian's thoughts upon rereading The Brothers Karamazov :001_huh:. I felt so humbled that I had stumbled upon these wise, calm and far more insightful than expected women. They were so not what I'd assumed they were.

 

The head librarian was one of the wisest women I've ever met. And I never heard her raise her voice, even when she was quite frustrated. She'd also spent her whole life living with the frailties brought on by a diagnosis of TB. Every Christmas she would bake huge batches of Italian fruit bread that she and her husband would deliver from house to house. Our last Christmas there, she was too frail to get out of the car, so her husband brought out loaf to the door while she waited in the car. But that hadn't stopped her from baking dozens of loaves.

 

For all the some older people are cranky curmudgeons, there are others that have a seemingly endless capacity for loving others.

 

I think the next scene I write in my book needs to include my friend Margaret.

[AuntieM]

Wow.....just......wow!

 

You folks are a true gold mine. I love everything you shared, and I am very thankful that you took the time to do so. Thanks so much for a lovely thread to read over again.

 

Nice weekend to you all!

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Being surprised at how smart, capable and experienced they are.

 

I tend to underestimate older people. I think that I equate their current frailty and unfamiliarity with modern technology with a lessoned intellect. I remember when I was just out of the Navy, I was a pretty cocky person. I volunteered to work in the church library and I had visions of bringing order to the place. I was put to work checking books in and shelving them. Then I was given the library policy notebook to take home and read.

 

In the notebook were the how tos of running the library, intelligent responses to challenges to a several books (in some cases explaining to senior pastors/elders why the book should remain and in one case explaining why the senior librarian thought the book was a poor choice for the church library, despite being requested by a study group teacher). It even had the librarian's thoughts upon rereading The Brothers Karamazov :001_huh:. I felt so humbled that I had stumbled upon these wise, calm and far more insightful than expected women. They were so not what I'd assumed they were.

 

The head librarian was one of the wisest women I've ever met. And I never heard her raise her voice, even when she was quite frustrated. She'd also spent her whole life living with the frailties brought on by a diagnosis of TB. Every Christmas she would bake huge batches of Italian fruit bread that she and her husband would deliver from house to house. Our last Christmas there, she was too frail to get out of the car, so her husband brought out loaf to the door while she waited in the car. But that hadn't stopped her from baking dozens of loaves.

 

For all the some older people are cranky curmudgeons, there are others that have a seemingly endless capacity for loving others.

 

I think the next scene I write in my book needs to include my friend Margaret.

 

I think the older I get the more I see some things as not worth the emotional energy to thrash about them. I am more likely to not be put aside in an office because I'm no longer embarrased at making a scene by asking for a supervisor. I also realize how non-consequential some things are. Things that seemed very important when I was younger. (On the other hand, it is also possible to get stuck in patterns and habits as you age and be unable to gracefully admit you were wrong. I think this hurts a lot of families.)

 

We know a lovely couple in their late 70s or early 80s. They have been friends of my dh's family for decades and we call them the assistant grandparents. But they've had some health issues and know that their time on this earth is coming to an end. A few months back I got a sweet card from the wife, along with the photos she'd saved from all our various visits together. She had been going through their photo albums and sending people photos that they were in. Partly it was so the other person would have copies. Partly it was so that her daughter and daughter in law didn't have to try to figure out what to do with the photos of them with non-family members.

 

It was super sweet and I love having all the photos. But I also weep just thinking about someday going to visit my inlaws and not being able to also drop by and see this couple.

 

Bonn, the wife, gave us a wedding present and had tied a piece of dusty miller plant to the package. As she handed it to us, she said that she's so hoped that the weather would hold so she would have some dusty miller for the bow. I asked what it meant, thinking it had some deep symbolism attached to weddings. She said, "I just think it is lovely and wanted to give it to you."

 

I'm very blessed to have known some older women (and a couple men) who were able to look at the world, with all its imperfections and think that it was "just lovely" and want to share that loveliness with everyone they came in contact with. Someday I want to grow up to be a woman like this.

 

One more that I just thought of. A dear friend of mine, who was a mentor in college, has had cancer three times since her 50s. Last year, around this time of year, they discovered more cancer that required aggressive treatment, specifically amputating her right arm at the shoulder. I have a gorgeous picture of her sitting on the floor, wrapping Christmas presents by holding them down with her feet and wrapping one handed. Her smile would light up the entire room. All through her hospitalization, she was encouraging the nursing staff who was working with her and she would often pray with and for them and other patients. For Christmas she was given a book of classic piano pieces for one hand so she could continue to enjoy playing. That is the sort of life I aspire to. This fine woman is almost 70.

 

[Maybe my writing project should have been old people I've known.]

[Susan in KY]

I think they're always in a hurry because they have to use the bathroom!

:lol:

Here's one for fiction, my friend's older mother tells long stories populated with a lot of side references to people, often puncuated with "he's dead now," as she carries on with the story.

 

lol This reminds me of dMIL, who visited us from India around the time dh and I got married. As a college girl, she had lived in the US on student exchange student for two years. At that time, the local Hallmark store gave her a free pocket calendar, in which she dutifully recorded the names of all her family, friends and acquaintances on their respective birthdates. She was thrilled to pieces that, 32 years later, the Hallmark store where we lived gave her ANOTHER free calendar! She showed me her old one to compare, and all over the place, several days on every month, was written, R.I.P. I laughed hysterically, and she had a good rib at herself, too. :001_smile: Have no idea what the "new" one looks like now—it's been well over a decade! Perhaps I should send her a new calendar....

[kewb]

Colorful hats and polyester stretch pants.

[Hikin' Mama]

80+ and 90+ and aren't typical senior citizens in that they are pretty active with many things, including both helping others (younger than them) and pursuing hobbies that they love. But one thing I've noticed is that even though they are well off, they are still quite frugal in many areas. I think it is because they went through the Great Depression and growing up things were very tight. They are willing to spend on their hobbies and grandkids, though! :D They are a lot of fun!

 

Also, we used to go to the senior center for lunch with them when my kids were younger. It seems that senior citizens love cute little kids. They were always giving my kids candy, money, and other things.

 

Good luck on your writing!

[TXMomof4]

Being lonely, speaking their mind and not giving a hoot about who might be offended, routine, telling and re-telling the same stories over and over, storytelling in general, saving/reusing many items younger generations usually toss (think aluminum foil, ziploc bags)...

 

All of my examples are personal experience of either family or the men & women at the nursing home our troop has adopted.

 

:iagree: Also, a real longing for the past. Easy tears. Thoughtful gestures seem to mean so much more. A sense of loss for things that were with the belief that nothing now could ever compare with the things that were.

 

My grandpa has moved in with my parents and his absolute refusal to accept that things can't always revolve around him has been the hardest thing to adjust to.