What's the worst comment you've gotten about homeschooling

[TXMary2]

It was right after a Law and Order episode where an abusive homeschooling family were "homeschooling" in order to get away with literally murder. A mom in my neighborhood asked me what I thought of the episode. I told her that I thought that it was sensational like many of their episodes are. She told me, "Well, I think it depicted homeschoolers quite accurately." Obviously she thought that I was an abusive homeschooler just waiting to get away with murder. I used to take walks by her house but then she would call my house demanding to know if an adult was home while I was on my walk.:cursing: She made me very nervous - if anyone would have called CPS on me for an imagined offense, it would have been her. I was doing a happy dance when she moved!

 

 

I just recently saw this episode. It was over the top.

 

I have heard lots of rude and dumb things over the years. When I was a new homeschooler my grandfather said I was going to screw up my kids and wanted to know what I would do when I had to teach them something I didn't know. :glare:

[Revwife]

My 'friend' told me that my children would be dumb. We are no longer 'friends'.

[maddykate]

When I told my dad that we were going to homeschool our girls, he said, "Well, I just hope that they marry well." Needless to say, that did not go over well with me and he knew it.

[Alphabetika]

When a friend of mine - die-hard public school mom with p.s. principal dh - asked me whether I was making sure my 2nd grade homeschooled dd was on the level with her peers, I said, "No." She said, in a horrified voice, "You're not planning on raising IDIOTS, are you?!!":glare:

Edited November 10, 2010 by Alphabetika

[Garga]

Also, when he gets asked the inevitable question "why do you homeschool?" His favorite answer is "For the socialization." That throws them for a loop.

 

 

I have SO got to remember that!!!

[TXMary2]

I just remembered a situation from last week. I went in to pay my electric bill and in our small town it is always the same girl. This girl used to work at the library and remembers us from there. She asks me every time she sees me if I am still homeschooling. Last week she asked again and of course I said yes. Then she said, "Doesn't it drive you crazy?" Usually I don't think on my feet, but I just calmly replied, "Actually, sending them to a school that teaches things I dont' agree with drives me crazy. I enjoy teaching my kids." She just looked at me.

[TXMary2]

I have been told that I am being selfish because I am hsing my dc. Their (warped) reasoning is that my dc are smart, polite, and nice, so they need to be in ps because teachers deserve to have kids like mine to teach, and the other kids will benefit from having my dc as examples. She also commented that it is not fair to have people like me, who care so much about their children and value a good education, keep their kids out of the ps system because then only kids whose parents don't care will be in the ps. (I wanted to point out that her kids were in ps and ask why she doesn't care about her kids, but I refrained.)

 

I have been told that hsed kids are just not normal, with the funny addition, "Well, not your kids. Your kids are the only normal home schooled kids I've met. But all the others should be in ps because they are not normal."

 

I had a similar comment once. This lady at our church told me how impressed she was with my oldest at the time - that he wasn't like other homeschoolers, he was "cool." I wasn't sure if I should take it as a compliment or not. :001_huh:

[MelanieM]

When a friend of mine - die-hard public school mom with p.s. principal dh - asked me whether I was making sure my 2nd grade homeschooled dd was on the level with her peers, I said, "No." She said, in a horrified voice, "You're not planning on raising IDIOTS are you?":glare:

 

We often get asked by curious people whether or not we have to report to anyone, if there are specific things we're supposed to teach our kids, how do "they" know the kids are getting a proper education, etc. My husband's response is always "no, as parents we are well within our rights to raise morons."

 

I thought of another interesting comment we've received... one of the kids on our street (9 yrs old) told my then 4yo that he should go to school so he could learn not to hit. Then he tried to engage me in the same conversation, just minutes after he had a violent incident with another schooled child on our street, so I gently pointed out that school really hadn't done much to keep her from misbehaving so I doubted that was the problem. (My kid has since grown out of the very normal hitting phase and all is well, even without school.)

[beaners]

My oldest is still preschool age, but my husband and I decided to homeschool soon after we met. I think that just about every negative comment I've gotten has been from my father. They're especially hurtful because he means them sincerely, and brings them up out of love for his grandchildren.

 

"I really don't think you're cut out for this kind of thing."

 

"I don't think you have what it takes to stick through this. You might get bored with it."

 

"I was just talking with _____ and she has a girl who used to be homeschooled in one of her classes. She's in fifth grade and she can't read." (Not two days after I mentioned that my 3 year old can figure out most CVC words with only a brief introduction to phonics. Facepalm.)

 

"I think that things will come up and your schedule will be full and you'll just put off schoolwork for later."

 

"Kids need to be able to get on a bus and ask someone if they can share a seat." (I was great at this in elementary school until I routinely had other children throw my backpack out the bus window, beat me up, etc. I lost six lunchboxes to this one year. School actually made this harder.)

 

"If you move back to New York, you could go to the same district you went to. It's a really good district, you ought to consider it."

 

"If they're at home with you, you won't be able to go back to work and your family's finances will suffer. You're not going to have enough money to be comfortable." (This one also gets coupled in with the fact that he thinks we should stop having children because I need to go out and get a job. We have NEVER asked anyone for money, and honestly, we consider ourselves comfortable financially. Things come up here and there, of course. We have enough to make regular contributions to retirement funds, so I think we are doing just fine.)

 

He thinks he's offering honest analysis. He is expressing deeply held concerns. He honestly thinks that I am making a huge mistake and he thinks that I am going to ruin my children. He thinks that I am going to knowingly hurt my children, the ones that I love more than life itself, for the sake of my ego. A stranger being appalled at this decision would hurt me a little. Someone saying these things out of love for my children is like a knife in the back.

[Belacqua]

How do YOU think YOU can homeschool? I know some friends who do but their husbands are dr, lawyers and employed by the University. They really are capable of teaching.

 

I love this one. My husband is a sports writer, so I guess that makes me the Greatest PE Teacher in the World!!

[scrappyhappymama]

I have this image of homeschooled kids pummeling others with large vocabularies and talking about historical events and classical literature and stuff.... :tongue_smilie:

 

The worst I got? This lady at church asked me if I wasn't worried my kids would turn out 'weird'. I replied that we'd always been weird - we were genetically programmed to be weird and we would now be keeping our weirdness to ourselves. She totally didn't get it.

 

And no one wants to tangle with me on the 'salt and light' thing. For one thing they need to read the entire verse and think about the implications. For another - the disciples Jesus sent forth were trained grown ups.

 

Ooooooooohhhh this is a hot button for me too! We have probably gotten the most skeptical comments at church as well. That and defensiveness. For some reason, when other families hear we homeschool, they feel compelled to tell us all the reasons they *don't* homeschool. Including my absolute biggest peeve- that "Christian" kids need to be in the schools to be examples to their peers. I challenge them to show me where any of the salt and light passages are referring to children. The BULK of passages referring to children in the scriptures are references to parents training them up properly, investing time in their children, and being ultimately responsible for their children's upbringing and knowledge and good deeds. Hmmm, sound familiar any? Suspiciously a lot like homeschooling maybe?

 

My oldest is still preschool age, but my husband and I decided to homeschool soon after we met. I think that just about every negative comment I've gotten has been from my father. They're especially hurtful because he means them sincerely, and brings them up out of love for his grandchildren.

 

"I really don't think you're cut out for this kind of thing."

 

"I don't think you have what it takes to stick through this. You might get bored with it."

 

"I was just talking with _____ and she has a girl who used to be homeschooled in one of her classes. She's in fifth grade and she can't read." (Not two days after I mentioned that my 3 year old can figure out most CVC words with only a brief introduction to phonics. Facepalm.)

 

"I think that things will come up and your schedule will be full and you'll just put off schoolwork for later."

 

"Kids need to be able to get on a bus and ask someone if they can share a seat." (I was great at this in elementary school until I routinely had other children throw my backpack out the bus window, beat me up, etc. I lost six lunchboxes to this one year. School actually made this harder.)

 

"If you move back to New York, you could go to the same district you went to. It's a really good district, you ought to consider it."

 

"If they're at home with you, you won't be able to go back to work and your family's finances will suffer. You're not going to have enough money to be comfortable." (This one also gets coupled in with the fact that he thinks we should stop having children because I need to go out and get a job. We have NEVER asked anyone for money, and honestly, we consider ourselves comfortable financially. Things come up here and there, of course. We have enough to make regular contributions to retirement funds, so I think we are doing just fine.)

 

He thinks he's offering honest analysis. He is expressing deeply held concerns. He honestly thinks that I am making a huge mistake and he thinks that I am going to ruin my children. He thinks that I am going to knowingly hurt my children, the ones that I love more than life itself, for the sake of my ego. A stranger being appalled at this decision would hurt me a little. Someone saying these things out of love for my children is like a knife in the back.

 

The good news is that since your child is still young, and since you believe your father is sincerely concerned and trying to be "helpful," it is quite possible that he will come around and be one of your biggest supporters once the proof is in the pudding, so to speak. No guarantee of course, but I and many friends have found that some of our biggest homeschooling critics become grudging supporters and sometimes even advocates once they see how much your children are learning.

 

I love this one. My husband is a sports writer, so I guess that makes me the Greatest PE Teacher in the World!!

:smilielol5:

[Crimson Wife]

a good friend told me that homeschooling is racist and classist. And that whatever my personal motivations might appear to be, I was racist for homeschooling.

 

I hear this one a lot, too. They usually shut up when I tell them about how in the government-run school I attended, I could literally count the number of "diverse" kids in my grade on one hand (2 blacks, 2 Mormons, and 1 Jew). And all of them had parents who were the same kind of affluent, white-collar professionals that the rest of us had. The homeschool support group we participate in is WAY more diverse than that!

[battyjac]

I was waiting for my youngest's dance class to let out, in which my oldest was assistant teaching, and another homeschooling mom was there with her 4 kids. Her kids got ready first so she left. As she left one of the mom's in the incoming class said "I don't understand homeschooling. All those kids will learn is how to clean up juice!" I pointed out I was a homeschooler, the dance teacher was homeschooled, and my homeschooled daughter was assisting the class. She kind of backpedaled but I was still offended, as a homeschooler and for my friend.

[Impish]

I hear this one a lot, too. They usually shut up when I tell them about how in the government-run school I attended, I could literally count the number of "diverse" kids in my grade on one hand (2 blacks, 2 Mormons, and 1 Jew). And all of them had parents who were the same kind of affluent, white-collar professionals that the rest of us had. The homeschool support group we participate in is WAY more diverse than that!

I find agreeing with idiotic comments such as those freak people out to the point of complete silence...all the better to get out of their presence with, M'Dear :D Especially since my dh isn't Caucasian...:lol:

[pdalley]

When a friend of mine - die-hard public school mom with p.s. principal dh - asked me whether I was making sure my 2nd grade homeschooled dd was on the level with her peers, I said, "No." She said, in a horrified voice, "You're not planning on raising IDIOTS are you?":glare:

 

 

Oh I would have had to bite my tongue to resist saying, 'Did I say I was sending them to the same school you graduated from?'

 

As I have said before - I got an 'F' in 'plays well with others'. I have learned as I have aged my words and action reflect on more than me so I've learned some restraint but man, it is so hard when people say STUPID things like above.

 

I am NOT public school bashing when I say this. It works wonderfully well for some kids and some families simply do not have a choice.

 

 

And I was entirely educated in the public school system and I can also vouch for a huge lack of diversity. It think that's why I want my kids to be in a diverse group so badly.

[Forget-Me-Not]

I also hear on occasion that homeschoolers don't get "proper public socialization that you only get in school." My standard answer to this is to tell them "Don't worry. (DH) and I have that covered. We make sure we corner him in the bathroom, shove his head in the toilet, call him names and then steal his pocket money at least once a week."

 

I am filing that one away for future use! :lol:

 

I haven't had any super crazy or super offensive comments. I had one friend (who is a former PS teacher) get really upset. Apparently it didn't matter that my son spent a huge chunk of his 1st grade year in PS playing on the computer and basically acting like a teacher's aide (running notes to the office, helping other students with their work). He needs to be in school for the socialization! She said, "School is 20% education and 80% socialization." So apparently I'm supposed to let my kid stagnate in the public school system for the purposes of 'socialization.' Riiiight.

[curlygirlzx2]

I was talking to a pg friend about homeschooling. She was unaware that we hs and made the comment that she didn't want her son to grow up to be a serial killer. She tried very hard to back peddle when she found out that I hs. Unfortunately this conversation took place over the phone. It would have been priceless to see her expression when she found out I'm a hs'er.

[Snickerdoodle]

I've only had one nasty comment that I posted about before.

 

I've had one person try to convince me to send my kids to school and the usual comments of not wanting to spend all day with the kids and needing more adult stimulation. Mostly, the people I have had contact with have had enough class to keep any negative comments they might have had to themselves.

[Belacqua]

When the kid was 5, our pediatrician asked where he'd be going to kindergarten. When I told her we would be homeschooling, she made the cat-butt face and scribbled something in her chart, muttering that she would be "monitoring his academic progress, as homeschoolers often fall behind." She then went on to tell me that he needed to be in "organized social situations at least four times a week."

 

She never got the opportunity to monitor my obvious failures as a parent, as we found a new doctor, pronto.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

It was an "Excellence in Teaching" certificate that the school departments gives out to teachers they think go above and beyond and the speech staff had voted me as their choice of recipient.

 

Wow, that sure is a vote of confidence if I ever saw one!!! Good work and congrats!!!

[Tarreymere]

When my husband asked one of his co-workers exactly what she meant by her comment 'aren't you worried about socialization?', the woman sputtered a bit and finally said 'well, does she have FRIENDS?' :lol:

 

 

One of my 'friends' told me that not only are homeschoolers weird, it was her opinion that they were naive, especially about drugs, alcohol, and sex, and she did not want her kids to be naive and that she wanted her kids to have the opportunity to 'make their mistakes' in high school. I told her that I didn't think knowing how to roll a joint or have sex were important social skills, and SHE DISAGREED :eek:

[Mommyfaithe]

My 'friend' told me that my children would be dumb. We are no longer 'friends'.

 

This reminds me of another awful comment. This one from our pastor. "Your kids will be socially retarded." He said this IN FRONT of my kids!! This had them laughing for years...as we KNEW his kids:lol:. This was the same pastor who offered to pay for my husband to have a vasectomy after our 5th child. He said we were multiplying too much to be fruitful:001_huh:

We don't go to that church anymore...

Faithe

[Heather in Neverland]

1. The check-out lady asks why my ds was not in school. I reply "we homeschool." She says, "Why would you do THAT?" and I reply, "Why DON'T you?"

 

2. During the first year of homeschooling my FIL asked my dh how it was going and dh replied that it was going very well and said "Heather really loves it." To which my FIL replied, "Of course she does. It means she doesn't have to WORK."

[MaMa2005]

The most negative comment I received was from my FIL (whom I adore). He told me I was going to turn DS into 'Frankenstein' :blink:. I just looked at him and asked him what he meant and got the 'oh, he is going to be so different from everyone else'. Well, yeah, Dad, I guess he is!

 

My sweet FIL has since apologized for that remark :001_smile: and said that I must know what I am doing. (Well, let's see, Dad, I do have a doctorate in education).

[pqr]

One of my 'friends' told me that not only are homeschoolers weird, it was her opinion that they were naive, especially about drugs, alcohol, and sex, and she did not want her kids to be naive and that she wanted her kids to have the opportunity to 'make their mistakes' in high school. I told her that I didn't think knowing how to roll a joint or have sex were important social skills, and SHE DISAGREED :eek:

 

Yet another of the many reasons why as long as we can avoid it my children will never go to ps.

[AmyinMD]

The worst comments we've gotten have been from my mil. She taught high school social studies before she retired and is convinced public school is the only way to go. After all her sons turned out wonderful and they went to public school. My dh does not agree with her about how wonderful it was and has always been pretty supportive of homeschooling.

 

She told me I was ruining her grandchildren and they would grow up to be misfits. She told me she is supportive of homeschooling but not me homeschooling because I'm such an introvert and have no teacher training.

 

My mom told me my oldest dd was lazy and needed the routine of school to learn to read. Poor kid has dyslexia and a bunch of tracking issues that we first discovered thanks to another homeschool mom. My mom is a ps teacher with over 40 years experience (over 25 in 1st grade) and she totally missed my dd's problems. Makes me glad dd wasn't in her classroom.

[katemary63]

"Of course she does. It means she doesn't have to WORK."

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: Ignorance is bliss!

[serene]

Most common, "I couldn't be at home with my kids *all* day, every day."

 

My response is usually (and only half-jokingly), "I couldn't be at home with *your* kids all day either, but I like *my* kids."

[Tidbits of Learning]

My worst comment wasn't said to me. My step-mother-in-law (dh's 3rd stepmother) works for the school system. She is not a teacher. She used to be the school secretary and now I believe she is the attendance record keeper.

My good friend's special needs son goes to school where dear step-mother-in-law works. I have not been able to hang out with this friend in a while b/c we have been schooling and we mainly hung out while the kids were in ps (school hours). Step-mother-in-law is talking with my friend at the school and asks her has she seen me lately. Dear friend says that I have been busy schooling the kids. To which dear step-mother-in-law in a stage whisper with her hand to the side of her mouth loudly says, "I am so worried about those kids."

I am not sure why she would insinuate she is worried about the kids. She can't even remember their ages. She called last year within a few days of school starting all excited and acting like she had a present to give me. Then she blurts out that since their school didn't make numbers for the amount of teachers hired that they don't have enough kindergartners and are taking out of district kids. She proceeds on and on and I am truly baffled at this point. She then wants to know when I can bring ds to register. Speechless, I told her ds was in 1st grade not kindergarten and almost 7. She had made this call in front of all of her co-workers b/c she just knew her dear grandson in kindergarten would be able to help their numbers. I am not sure how she explained he isn't in kindergarten or that she is so close to him that she doesn't remember his age.

Yet, she is worried about the kids. :confused: She doesn't know my kids!

Dear friend defended me and let me know how dear mother in law really feels about my homeschooling. It has made me keep my guard up around her and with good reason.

[misidawnrn]

I think the stupidest thing I have heard came from my "holy than thou" father. He told me I should enroll DD in a nice private school instead of homeschooling her so that she will get........"individual attention to her education" I promptly repeated..."you can't get more individual attention than one on one with mommy!"

He also used to make reference to my sister who was a stay at home mom with 4 kids and she was such a great mother, took her kids to the library, read to them, kids are going to grow up great because their mom is home with them while I worked full time....now she is a nurse, too and I only work 2 days a week so I can stay at home with my girls, go to the library more, read more and HOMESCHOOL!...never once have heard that I am a good mom. Where's the little vomiting smiley?

This coming from the same man who once I told him I was going back to school for my Bachelors in Nursing then my Masters "that's good because your degree in nursing isn't complete"...well don't tell my patients that I have been practicing as an "incomplete" nurse for the last 13 years! Geez~

Edited November 10, 2010 by misidawnrn
added

[TechWife]

We often get asked by curious people whether or not we have to report to anyone, if there are specific things we're supposed to teach our kids, how do "they" know the kids are getting a proper education, etc. My husband's response is always "no, as parents we are well within our rights to raise morons."

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[MelanieM]

I think the stupidest thing I have heard came from my "holy than thou" father. He told me I should enroll DD in a nice private school instead of homeschooling her so that she will get........"individual attention to her education" I promptly repeated..."you can't get more individual attention than one on one with mommy!"

He also used to make reference to my sister who was a stay at home mom with 4 kids and she was such a great mother, took her kids to the library, read to them, kids are going to grow up great because their mom is home with them while I worked full time....now she is a nurse, too and I only work 2 days a week so I can stay at home with my girls, go to the library more, read more and HOMESCHOOL!...never once have heard that I am a good mom. Where's the little vomiting smiley?

This coming from the same man who once I told him I was going back to school for my Bachelors in Nursing then my Masters "that's good because your degree in nursing isn't complete"...well don't tell my patients that I have been practicing as an "incomplete" nurse for the last 13 years! Geez~

 

Melissa, :grouphug: perhaps your father is one of those people who never says anything nice to your face and reserves all his compliments for sharing with others. I know my grandmother is like that and seems very critical directly to her daughters, but says many nice things to me about them when they're not there, which always surprises them when they learn of the comments. (I always share the praise!) It's simply the (bizarre) way she is. I just wanted to share as that's what came to mind when I read your post.

[SquirrellyMama]

My husband's cousin told me that she wanted to homeschool but her husband didn't want their children to be weird.

 

Kelly

[sweetstitches]

The one that just made me roll my eyes: a total stranger posted a drive-by comment in my LiveJournal saying that she could tell my daughter wasn't as smart as I thought she was, and therefore she would do just fine in a school environment.

 

The kicker? She claimed to be a homeschooler. I guess her kids are good enough to homeschool, and mine aren't. :001_rolleyes:

 

The one that really hurt: a good friend told me that homeschooling is racist and classist. And that whatever my personal motivations might appear to be, I was racist for homeschooling.

 

I wonder what she'd say to me: my kids are Caucasian, African American, bi-racial and Hispanic. :confused1:

Sorry she hurt you.

[dcjlkplus3]

My SIL informed us, "Homeschooling hurts children's brains." :lol:

 

It must be all the learning that does it:D

[cjbeach]

I just heard today that my former hairdresser had a long discussion with my good friend about our HSing.

She thought it was "...so mean to take the kids away from their little friends in school." She went on and on about the socialization issue and how she "just doesn't believe in it. Kids need to be around kids."

FWIW, her child is 2yo.

But it did sting to hear...