Do you have a time when you're just done energy wise?

[Jean in Newcastle]

There gets to be a time when we're heading toward the kid's bedtime when I just shut down. I'm done. I have zero patience left for innocent silly stuff. Zero energy left for games or jokes or anything. All I'm thinking about is getting those kids to bed. The kids know when I tell them "I'm done" that it's time to leave me alone. I can gather my mommyness together long enough to do bedtime cuddles and stuff with both kids but that's about it. I don't go to bed right afterward. I sit here and play mindless spider solitaire and read the board. But woe-betide the kid who gets out of bed after I've put them to bed for no good reason. Because I'm done - clocked out for the night. How about you? I don't know why I'm telling you all this - perhaps wanting to know if my mommy gene is deficient for having a daily time limit?:tongue_smilie:

Edited November 4, 2010 by Jean in Newcastle

[specialmama]

Well Jean, I experience that every day lately. I'm also experiencing sharp increases in anger, but my doc assures me it's normal with menopause. I'm 36. :glare:

[6packofun]

Maybe it's more that my patience has run out, but I'm mentally "done" right before dinnertime around 4-5 p.m. When I've finished doing school with them and need to fix dinner, they had BETTER leave me alone! LOL I feel like I've given most of my brain power by then and I need a break.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well Jean, I experience that every day lately. I'm also experiencing sharp increases in anger, but my doc assures me it's normal with menopause. I'm 36. :glare:

 

Since I'm 10 years older than you that could be it. . .;)

[cheryl h]

Yes. And I feel horrible about it because all day long I have to be like a drill sargeant to get all 4 dc through their school work, and I would really like to be 'warm, fuzzy, and fun' mom in the evening...but I usually am counting the minutes until they go to bed. I also have immense guilt with not letting dd12 stay up until others her age do, but I really need them all to be anywhere but where I am. To bed...read a book, listen to a book, whatever, just go. I really need my alone time after being with them all day. Weekends are a little easier though.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Yes. And I feel horrible about it because all day long I have to be like a drill sargeant to get all 4 dc through their school work, and I would really like to be 'warm, fuzzy, and fun' mom in the evening...but I usually am counting the minutes until they go to bed. I also have immense guilt with not letting dd12 stay up until others her age do, but I really need them all to be anywhere but where I am. To bed...read a book, listen to a book, whatever, just go. I really need my alone time after being with them all day. Weekends are a little easier though.

 

I wonder if it is because we're with them all day long? I wonder if moms who have their kids in ps hit this same kind of mommy wall where the sound of a young voice is like fingernails on a blackboard, even if you really do still love them to pieces?

[AuntieM]

I usually hit a slump around 2:30 pm, but pull out of it before dinner time. With 3 teens, I am tired at night BUT that is, without fail, when their "windows" are open and they are ready to talk about stuff that's deep in their hearts. So I try to show them all the patience I can.

 

My hardest time is early morning; I can be out of bed but it takes a while to wake up. Thankfully they are patient with me.

 

The time I really feel like I want to be off duty is Saturday daytime. Like when I was working a 5 day workweek, and Saturday was my day to do what I wanted, you know, the WEEKEND! After being on duty all week, I just want that time. I am afraid I am rather selfish about it...

[AuntieM]

Also just giggling to myself about DH's thoughts; he seems to still be trying to figure out why they don't still go to bed at 7pm! So I know it's not just moms who feel this way (though if anyone has a right to, it's a mom whose been with them all day long).

[StaceyinLA]

That'd be 2010. All of it. I think I've just been mentally drained this. Entire. Year. Ready for 2011...

[Peela]

I am an early riser (often 5am) and I am like that by 1pm! As long as I get my couple of hours of afternoon rest and isolation, I am not too bad in the evenings. If I dont...I am often in bed before the kids.

 

When they were younger and we did evening read aloud, I did have a fairly early bedtime for them so I could actually get through the read aloud without killing one of them for interrupting for the 10th time or wriggling too much or poking their sibling. It was our favourite time of day (now we do read aloud only during school time ). Now, I stay up till 9 when they have to turn off all electronics, and wait long enough for them to get to their rooms, and then go to bed myself and read. I spend enough time on the computer during the day that it is healthy for me to get off at 9pm too.

 

I really dont know how mothers of many do it. Teens can be hard though. It's definitely easier on some levels...but my son will argue with the most reasonable requests and it's so exhausting. The last 3 days, every time I have found him on his computer supposedly doing schoowork, he has been on Facebook instead. I am so not built for homeschooling this particular kid at this particular stage of his development! (he is going to school- I have a few weeks left of him at home).

 

However, sometimes he will saunter into my bedroom on his way to bed, sit on my bed, and share his day and his life with me. And I desperately want to tell him to go away, please, I need my space now...but I cant and dont want to because he is open to me, sharing with me, and I dont want to stop him doing that, ever. So I breathe, and give whatever I can muster to him, and eventually he feels satisfied and goes to bed. I love him.

[Jean in Newcastle]

And I desperately want to tell him to go away, please, I need my space now...but I cant and dont want to because he is open to me, sharing with me, and I dont want to stop him doing that, ever. So I breathe, and give whatever I can muster to him, and eventually he feels satisfied and goes to bed. I love him.

 

Yes, there are times when I think I've earned an Oscar for my acting abilities. The love isn't fake of course, but the desire to be available at that time is.

[nono]

Yes. I was hitting that wall everyday. What we've come up with is that the kids veg out with tv or more often, some netflix video while I cook. I really enjoy cooking, but need to focus. Having an hour where I'm "off duty" seems to restore me to human being status. :) If the children have any "needs" during that hour, they have to work together to get things done. The rule is unless someone is bleeding or the house is fire, I'm not to be interrupted while cooking.

 

I wonder if the kids also simply need veg time from me, because they are terrific from dinner onward. Me? I'm at least acceptable. ;)

[Mom0012]

After dinner, I like to go up to my room and be alone. My kids will watch a show at that time before they go to bed and sometimes we'll watch something together, but usually I will go upstairs and play on the computer, read a book or watch something on Netflix.

 

Around 8:00, I'll call them to come to bed and I have to admit they do drive me a little batty at that time because I am done and there is always silliness in the bathroom and 25 trips into my room for one thing or another.

 

Lisa

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Around 9:00 PM. If they are not in bed by then, it is very hard for me to keep my cool and not start screaming that I need to be left ALONE! I am totally done at that point and get short with everyone. If I can relax and read for a bit, then I perk up again.

[FO4UR]

Yes! Lunchtime...I've just multi-tasked like no other mom can do, unless you are also HSing 3 children ages 7, 5, and 4. "Now, sit quietly and eat your lunch."

 

Quiet time in the afternoon usually gives me the strength to make it until after dinner. At that point, I'm typically trying to get the dishes done, get the kids in PJ's and teeth brushed, and feeling guilty that I'm not playing a game with them instead...

 

I am done by 6pm...hold it together until 8pm.

[myfatherslily]

My energy level peaks at 8 am. It's completely GONE by 8 pm. Yes, by bedtime I am done. I often feel tense and stressed out just by the mere thought of having them put their pajamas on and brush their teeth. Read books?? Forget it.

[The Girls' Mom]

Yep. Here lately I hit that slump at about 7AM when I roll out of bed :glare:

[MamaAkins]

There gets to be a time when we're heading toward the kid's bedtime when I just shut down. I'm done. I have zero patience left for innocent silly stuff. Zero energy left for games or jokes or anything. All I'm thinking about is getting those kids to bed. The kids know when I tell them "I'm done" that it's time to leave me alone. I can gather my mommyness together long enough to do bedtime cuddles and stuff with both kids but that's about it. I don't go to bed right afterward. I sit here and play mindless spider solitaire and read the board. But woe-betide the kid who gets out of bed after I've put them to bed for no good reason. Because I'm done - clocked out for the night. How about you? I don't know why I'm telling you all this - perhaps wanting to know if my mommy gene is deficient for having a daily time limit?:tongue_smilie:

 

I am "right there with ya, sister!" Somedays I can barely gather enough mommyness to make it through bedtime (x4 kids). We never read our stories at bedtime because I'm "done" by then. I try to read to them earlier in the day, when I still have some patience left! Now that my kids are getting older, I am struggling with having enough "mommyness" to last until bedtime---it was easier when they were all little and I could put them to bed at 7pm! I distinctly remember one time, back when I only had two kids, when it had been a particularly trying day and my husband called on his way home from work (around 6:40pm) and I was already putting the kids to bed (they were ages 5 and 2 at that point). He thought it was ridiculously early for them to go to bed, but I told him he would understand if he had been home with them all day!

[MaMa2005]

I wonder if it is because we're with them all day long? I wonder if moms who have their kids in ps hit this same kind of mommy wall where the sound of a young voice is like fingernails on a blackboard, even if you really do still love them to pieces?

 

I think you may have hit the nail on the head, Jean. We don't get a break from the constant questions, meals, etc. I am a much nicer person on Fridays because DS takes enrichment classes from 9-1. I get to drop him off and then pick him up 4 hours later. Those 4 hours really do help. I am able to come home, clean, do laundry, etc. OR just go to a bookstore and read for a couple of hours. After I pick him up, we are able to finish school for the week without me strangling him :D .

 

The "I'm done" time for me is usually around 6PM. The patience and energy are all gone. DS has learned to occupy himself with his toys and complete his chores from 6PM until bedtime at 7PM without my assistance as he knows I am DONE.

[Mejane]

Mine are older now, but we used to call 9pm the "witching hour." I could be sweet as pie until 8:59, but turned into a screaming meemie at 9:00. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

 

I like what my son said once, "Mom?? Mom?? What time is it?"

I answer, "8:59". He response. "Good, you aren't grumpy yet. Can I ...."

 

:lol:

[FloridaLisa]

Yes, I tell my kids that I'm *turning into a pumpkin* when I hit that point -- usually between 8:30 and 9:00 p.m. My olders don't have to go to bed, but I just need everyone in their room and some quiet. While it's easy to feel guilty about not having patience at the end of the day, I think it's completely normal. I just need some time at the end of the day to think my own thoughts and wind down.

 

Every family has different rhythms. Some are late risers, but don't mind kids up and about until the late evening news is over. :001_huh: I'd go bonkers. We're an up early and to be fairly early kind of family. I don't mind if my high schoolers stay up later than 9:00, I just don't want to hear them! :tongue_smilie:

 

Lisa

[bry's-gal]

I feel so much better- I thought it was just me!

 

I start to get a bit cranky around lunchtime but we have quiet time right after that so I can recharge for the afternoon. By dinner time, I'm done! Hubby knows he needs to step in because the sweet little voices are now nails on the chalkboard!

[fairfarmhand]

There gets to be a time when we're heading toward the kid's bedtime when I just shut down. I'm done. I have zero patience left for innocent silly stuff. Zero energy left for games or jokes or anything. All I'm thinking about is getting those kids to bed. The kids know when I tell them "I'm done" that it's time to leave me alone. I can gather my mommyness together long enough to do bedtime cuddles and stuff with both kids but that's about it. I don't go to bed right afterward. I sit here and play mindless spider solitaire and read the board. But woe-betide the kid who gets out of bed after I've put them to bed for no good reason. Because I'm done - clocked out for the night. How about you? I don't know why I'm telling you all this - perhaps wanting to know if my mommy gene is deficient for having a daily time limit?:tongue_smilie:

 

 

usually about 4 times a week. I despise bedtime for this reason.

[sbgrace]

Reading these replies has actually really helped me. Hubby is like this. It frustrates me because the bedtime routine (which he participates in) is one of the few times during the weekdays when the boys have concentrated daddy time. Most days he's grumpy and short well before they are in bed and, well, it helps to know others feel that way too. I get so upset when a child is just being silly and six years old and daddy can't handle it. I guess the solution is...I don't know!

But it helps anyway!

 

Now that I think of it I actually slump too but mine is morning and my kids are very manageable in the morning so easy. I may hit a little lull in the early evening but hubby is home and it's not bad. I sort of feel like a heel for being so upset by him most evenings.

Edited November 4, 2010 by sbgrace

[missmoe]

I am so done as soon as supper is over. I know of people who get their homes clean and work on school for the next day after supper, and I just can't do it. I do have to stretch myself right now so my son and I can spend time together, but its a stretch. I don't know what I will do in 2 years time when I will have 5 teens!:001_huh:

[Pretty in Pink]

I feel like that from 7:00 to 10:00 a.m. every. single. day. I am fine after that!

[Rosie_0801]

You know, I don't think I'm going to become one of those women who say "Oh, don't worry about the housework, just enjoy them! They're not babies long enough!"

 

As much as I loved my babies, I'm so glad to have moved to the next stage, even though this contains a tot and a 3yo :tongue_smilie: I used to feel done for virtually the whole day, now it is only large chunks of the day. I think I must be a wimp.

 

 

Rosie

[Liz CA]

Have you tried the "quiet time" for the kids in the afternoon, and a power nap for you?

2 hours of peace during which time they read, do some crafts but are in their rooms, or at least segregated to avoid squabbles that could interrupt your precious sleep.

I hear it works wonders for some.

 

[hsbaby]

My "done" time comes around the same time as many if you.....right about after dinner. I hate dealing with the bed time stuff. I am just drained by this time and ready for dh to step in. My dd 13 also goes to bed before others her age probably do. She is allowed to read, listen to music, watch TV, or whatever fir a while, but I just need my space at that point!!!

[Cricket]

I always start dragging about 2 p.m. By then the kids are usually done with whatever they need me for so, if I can, I grab a quick 15-30 minute nap. Then I'm good until about 9. Past 9, I get irritated pretty quickly!

[justamouse]

Nooo, you're not missing a mommy gene, I'm the same way. Almost to a T.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Have you tried the "quiet time" for the kids in the afternoon, and a power nap for you?

2 hours of peace during which time they read, do some crafts but are in their rooms, or at least segregated to avoid squabbles that could interrupt your precious sleep.

I hear it works wonders for some.

 

 

We do have a quiet time about 3x a week. The other two days we can't because of the gymnastics schedule.

[Sahamamama]

There gets to be a time when we're heading toward the kid's bedtime when I just shut down. I'm done. I have zero patience left for innocent silly stuff. Zero energy left for games or jokes or anything. All I'm thinking about is getting those kids to bed. The kids know when I tell them "I'm done" that it's time to leave me alone. I can gather my mommyness together long enough to do bedtime cuddles and stuff with both kids but that's about it. I don't go to bed right afterward. I sit here and play mindless spider solitaire and read the board. But woe-betide the kid who gets out of bed after I've put them to bed for no good reason. Because I'm done - clocked out for the night. How about you? I don't know why I'm telling you all this - perhaps wanting to know if my mommy gene is deficient for having a daily time limit?:tongue_smilie:

 

Thanks for posting this. It sounds like my life, especially the "woe-betide" part. Shudder. I thought I was the only one who needed some "decompression" time after the kids are in bed. I thought I was the only Drill Sergeant Mommy past a certain hour on the clock. My husband has irregular hours, so sometimes he doesn't get in until past the girls' bedtime. Then it's all up to me.... Sigh.

 

Yes, I think it's normal to feel this way, to be spent, but we mothers often feel guilty that we have limits. Why do we feel guilty? My husband has no trouble whatsoever, if he arrives home a bit early, with lying down on the bed and falling sound asleep. If HE is spent, he crashes, no apologies. If I am spent, I feel like I should somehow still keep going. I do think that children need to understand, as much as possible, the limitations of their parents. We are human, after all..... :grouphug: