LibrarianMom Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 My husband and I are taking our first by ourselves overnight trip in almost 9 years tomorrow night and leaving this afternoon to drop the kids at their respective locations (grandma's and camp). We have taken day trips and dates, but this is going to be over 24 hours hours with no kids! Unfortunately, since it has been so long since we've been away together, I fear we've forgotten what we're supposed to do when we're alone. We're also a bit at odds about what the focus of our trip should be. I've been wanting for some time to have a planning and goal setting trip to help us get on the same page as a couple and family. However, my husband is not supportive of that idea and I'm desperately trying to have him be the leader of our home. So, does anyone have suggestions on what we should do while we are away? We are staying at a cottage on a state park so we will be enjoying the trails and swimming pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Reconnect affectionately as a couple and I bet he'll be much more willing to plan and set goals with you another time. Spark the romance back up -- that's what getting away from the kids should be about. Have fun! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 (edited) I'd be thinking about some sun on the skin, some good wine at the lips, and some good tea that doesn't have one ear listening for the children. Edited July 28, 2010 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I'm with your dh. If this was my first night away in 9 years, I would get my tooshie to a department store and buy some lingerie. No pens, no paper, no plans. Go out to a nice restaurant, do something fun together, then head back to the room and do something FUN together! Plan another day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I bet your man just wants to have fun with you without turning it into a planning session. One thing my dh and I do is to talk those things over in the car en route home. WE are both relaxed and reconnected so we are more forgiving and less tense about things. Learn to approach things like this...instead of saying "dear it is time for our goal setting and planning session," in the car just say something like "where do you think our family will be in 5 years? Where would you like us to be?" "you know honey, one thing that I really wish our family was better at is......" "You know I feel so loved when you do....." "It would make such a huge difference to me if you and I were better at ...." Bringing things up like this is much better for my marriage.... It works for my guy anyway Just a suggestion... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I'm a lot like the OP and would instinctively want to do something "productive". But the other posters are right and I believe you should follow their advice - lingerie, wine, relaxation. Let you imagination do the rest. ;) Maybe later you can do a talk - not planning, just conversation about goals, future, etc. I think both of you will feel more satisfied with this approach.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I'm with your dh. If this was my first night away in 9 years, I would get my tooshie to a department store and buy some lingerie. No pens, no paper, no plans. Go out to a nice restaurant, do something fun together, then head back to the room and do something FUN together! Plan another day. Um, what Shannon said. :D Dh and I have been tossing around the idea of getting a weekend away. We haven't done that since Zee was a baby. But dh's mother was alive then, and watched him for us. Now she's gone. But we have other family who the boys would like to stay with. I just don't know if *I'm* quite ready to leave them for the weekend. We'll see. But when we do, I'm thinking it will be a lot more like what Shannon described than what you're describing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . :iagree: :D Don't make us resurrect the Tea Thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 TEA. More TEA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charmama4 Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I'd be thinking about some sun on the skin, some good wine at the lips, and some good tea that doesn't have one ear listening for the children. That's what I'm talking about;) I'm with your dh. If this was my first night away in 9 years, I would get my tooshie to a department store and buy some lingerie. No pens, no paper, no plans. Go out to a nice restaurant, do something fun together, then head back to the room and do something FUN together! Plan another day. You just throw it on the floor and if it's looks good buy it!:lol: Learn to approach things like this...instead of saying "dear it is time for our goal setting and planning session," in the car just say something like "where do you think our family will be in 5 years? Where would you like us to be?" "you know honey, one thing that I really wish our family was better at is......" "You know I feel so loved when you do....." "It would make such a huge difference to me if you and I were better at ...." Bringing things up like this is much better for my marriage.... It works for my guy anyway Just a suggestion... A great suggestion at that. I'm a lot like the OP and would instinctively want to do something "productive". But the other posters are right and I believe you should follow their advice - lingerie, wine, relaxation. Let you imagination do the rest. ;) Maybe later you can do a talk - not planning, just conversation about goals, future, etc. I think both of you will feel more satisfied with this approach.... I do this too. My mind can race with *plans* sometimes. But, if I had an opportunity to be kids free for a couple of days I can reassure you my plans would not include retirement funds :D. Enjoy your time with you dear husband!! You need it as much as he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 You just throw it on the floor and if it's looks good buy it!:lol: Bwwhaaaaa! Hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 HA! Although it's true some people do like certain items ...just without knickers. I've heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . Our date night is Wednesday nights now and not a week goes by that one of our friends doesn't reference this. I'll say, "Dh and I went out on Wednesday...." and inevitably someone will say something like, "Did you take out the recycling?" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . just what I was thinking!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . :iagree: :D Don't make us resurrect the Tea Thread! :iagree::iagree:No planning, no discussion of the children, no long term goal setting. Go somewhere nice, order room service, and ...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibrarianMom Posted July 28, 2010 Author Share Posted July 28, 2010 Thank you. I'm certain my husband will thank you. When I get home today, all of the books I packed will go back in the house (except for the Marriage Encounter book). I already packed An Enchanting Evening. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sister, the only planning you need to be doing this weekend is family planning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sister, the only planning you need to be doing this weekend is family planning. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Thank you. I'm certain my husband will thank you. When I get home today, all of the books I packed will go back in the house (except for the Marriage Encounter book). I already packed An Enchanting Evening. ;) This is the first night alone together in how long?? NO books. NONE! Set yourself and your dh free for the next 24 hours. Don't even try to intentionally make it "meaningful". That really can add to the pressure, and decrease the fun (ask me how I know). Honey, go for playful, and the rest will follow along. :001_smile: Leave the book home. Bring the lingerie and a huge smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 This is the first night alone together in how long??NO books. NONE! Set yourself and your dh free for the next 24 hours. Don't even try to intentionally make it "meaningful". That really can add to the pressure, and decrease the fun (ask me how I know). Honey, go for playful, and the rest will follow along. :001_smile: Leave the book home. Bring the lingerie and a huge smile. :iagree: No books, no games! You can do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sister, the only planning you need to be doing this weekend is family planning. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 TEA. More TEA. I knew when I read the thread title that this would be fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 What would you do if this was only your third date? You didn't have kids yet...you didn't have mortgage...etc. What would you do and what would you talk about? Do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . "Makin' love for two, makin' love for twooooo...minutes" "That's why they call them business socks!" :lol: I haven't heard that in a while. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 I knew when I read the thread title that this would be fun. I keep looking at the thread title in wonder. REALLY?! Any woman who has forgotten seriously needs a vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Let the days just happen:001_smile: Enjoy the hiking and swimming! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Sounds like it's . It about time. No one has posted this link in quite a while. One of our favorites. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 It about time. No one has posted this link in quite a while. One of our favorites. ;) is hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted July 28, 2010 Share Posted July 28, 2010 Other than a trip to a nice restaurant, and maybe some other kind of date night item, the rest of the time would be spent lounging in bed, talking, snuggling, and you know other things that might come up in that context. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 I'm with your dh. If this was my first night away in 9 years, I would get my tooshie to a department store and buy some lingerie. No pens, no paper, no plans. Go out to a nice restaurant, do something fun together, then head back to the room and do something FUN together! Plan another day. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Don't bring any books AT ALL!! If you're doing this right, you won't have time to read anything but the room service menu!! Stop at Victoria's Secret, throw the shopping bag in the car and leave!! Diane W. married for 22 years homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Reconnect affectionately as a couple and I bet he'll be much more willing to plan and set goals with you another time. Spark the romance back up -- that's what getting away from the kids should be about. Have fun! :001_smile: :iagree::iagree::iagree: Dh and I got away for TWO NIGHTS AND THREE DAYS last year. My sister came to the house to take care of my mother AND my kids and I didn't ALLOW my mind to "go there" with what could have taken place. In fact, I was so happy that I wasn't even upset at the damage youngest dd did while we were away!!! Can I just recommend that NO itinerary is the BEST? Dh planned on two different B&B's for us to go to. We just decided what we wanted to do as we went along - something you really can't do with a car full of kids. It was FANTABULOUS!!!!! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 :iagree: :D Don't make us resurrect the Tea Thread! :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) Don't bring any books AT ALL!! If you're doing this right, you won't have time to read anything but the room service menu!! Stop at Victoria's Secret, throw the shopping bag in the car and leave!! Diane W. married for 22 years homeschooling 3 kiddos for 16 years No, No, NO!!!!! You have it ALL WRONG!!! THIS is the right way: Stop at Victoria's Secret, throw it on the floor and if it looks pretty buy it, throw it in the car, then LEAVE!!! :lol: Other than that, she's right. NO BOOKS!!! If you have time to read a book, you're neglecting your dh. Food? Do what tickles your fancy. So to speak. :lol: ETA: I didn't want to be obnoxious and add another response so I'm editing this instead. I think you should bring Enchanted Evening and use it only if you need to. It actually looks fun! Ladies, this is not a book! Edited July 29, 2010 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleGreen Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 No, No, NO!!!!! You have it ALL WRONG!!! THIS is the right way: Stop at Victoria's Secret, throw it on the floor and if it looks pretty buy it, throw it in the car, then LEAVE!!! I am glad I had just swallowed my water! :iagree: Since it's the first time in 9 years, I think you should both just decompress and bask in the 'there are no children to interrupt us or need food or any of the other million things littles demand' and BE- w/ no agenda, no destination in mind other than enjoying one another. I hear you on planning and capitalizing on your free time to be productive, but important stuff like that you WILL make time for, important stuff like being together w/o children is a precious commodity and hard to make time for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Sounds like it's . :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: OMG!!! I have never seen that before. DH and I both laughed so hard we cried! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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