What is your opinion of *women's* colleges?

[Blueridge]

My dd is currently researching colleges in our area. One near the top of her list is a women's college. It has a beautiful campus, wonderful opportunities for degrees in her beloved field of writing, and seems like a special place to learn at. Have any of you attended one or know someone who has attended one? I wasn't one bit apprehensive until a well-meaning relative made a smug comment about (forgive me here) them being magnets for lesbians. While I think that is ridiculous, there may be others who think the same. So, what is your opinion of the environment of a women's college? I would appreciate any thoughts you would share.

[whitestavern]

I went to an all women's college and really enjoyed the experience. I never knew any lesbians that went there, although I'm sure there were the same amount that would be in any other college setting. I was in a metropolitan area and there were lots of places to meet and hang out with men. But for day to day living it was an awesome experience. We didn't spend a lot of time focused on what we looked like, we were all very supportive of each other, it was neat having classes with all smart women! It was a small school so it felt more like a big family.

[Mimm]

I had to laugh at that. That really hadn't occurred to me but it does make sense. But who cares if they are? I really doubt your daughter will become a lesbian just because she meets some.

 

Edit: Oh and she's probably going to meet gay people at most schools.

[Luckymama]

Oh, for goodness sake! My sister is a lesbian. It is NOT catching :lol:

 

I think a womens' school is fabulous for the right student. Has she visited? She should try a day visit (sit in on class/es in her major) and an overnight if she's comfortable. And you might want to look at College Confidential's forums http://talk.collegeconfidential.com especially the parents' forum (the student ones are a bit snarky and over-the-top) and look up the school on the "alphabetical listing" to see if it has its own miniforum.

[Dmmetler]

I have no real-life experience, but this was written by a Smith Grad, and based on the reviews, is pretty accurate as far as college life there currently is. It was an interesting read. Not a great one, but an interesting read. I think the plot kind of fell apart when the girls graduated.

http://www.amazon.com/Commencement-Vintage-Contemporaries-Courtney-Sullivan/dp/0307454967/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1279799460&sr=1-1

 

Having attended a co-ed school where everyone seemed intent on making sure I had a diamond on my finger before I graduated , I can see why someone who has no desire for a long term or physical relationship with the opposite sex, whether due to sexual orientation or just plain immaturity, would be more comfortable at a Women's College.

[Rebecca VA]

I have heard that also -- and you can find anecdotal evidence of it being true for probably as long as those colleges have existed. I went to a small women's college my freshman year (back in the 70's) and there were two roommates across the hall from me who never, ever came out of their room except for meals and classes, and even then they were always together and never spoke to anyone else. I was so naive -- I had never heard of homosexuality and just figured they were best friends. It was years before I thought back on it and figured it out and was shocked.

 

Even back in the early days of the 20th century there were students at Smith and other women's schools who were open lesbians.

 

But obviously not everyone at a women's college will be like that. More traditional schools will attract more traditional students.

 

Is there a club on campus which caters to students like that? What is its population at your daughter's choice college? You can probably google and find out lots of information.

[TravelingChris]

My dd is probably going to apply to a women's college. She is not a lesbian and the school is in a major metropolitan area with another local school being predominately male. SHe heard this problem about another school that was courting her but that one didn't seem as serious and this one definitely has plenty of hetero girls attending too. Is the lesbian population higher than the 1% in the general population? Probably but not a majority or anything like that.

[AnitaMS]

My daughter's friend is going to an all-women's school and the lesbian population is significantly more than 1%. She is fine with it, but her parents weren't expecting that at all! They had no idea, but I'm not sure how you go about finding that out ahead of time, if it's important to you. It is a small non-religiously affiliated school and is the only one around with her major. The number of lesbians definitely affects the school social activities (dances, etc.) and types of clubs offered at this school.

Edited July 22, 2010 by AnitaMS

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I went to an all women's college (in MA) and yes, there were lesbians on campus as well as an active Gay and Lesbian Alliance group. What did that mean? I made friends with some really wonderful, intelligent women who have gone on to become doctors, lawyers, politicians and mothers. They did not try to 'convert' or recruit anybody. If you're straight, you're straight' if you're gay, you're gay. GLA activities were usually advertised by including an upside down pink triangle in their flyers. If you didn't want to go to the activity than you didn't go.

 

I live by and have worked at a small, liberal arts college with a much larger GLA and they are more active and obvious than anything I saw at MHC; maybe because this particular school is co-ed so it's both men and women who participate in the GLA activities.

[Mommyfaithe]

My dd is currently researching colleges in our area. One near the top of her list is a women's college. It has a beautiful campus, wonderful opportunities for degrees in her beloved field of writing, and seems like a special place to learn at. Have any of you attended one or know someone who has attended one? I wasn't one bit apprehensive until a well-meaning relative made a smug comment about (forgive me here) them being magnets for lesbians. While I think that is ridiculous, there may be others who think the same. So, what is your opinion of the environment of a women's college? I would appreciate any thoughts you would share.

 

My dd is at an all women's college. There are both straight and lesbian women there just as in any other higher institution of learning...so what?? My dd is not gay....and I do not think she has any intention of going in that direction. She is, however, receiving an awesome education with a caring and devoted staff. There are plenty of boys (right next to 2 other colleges within the same town) but, she doesn't want to focus on that right now. she is focused on her studies, but she does go out to have some fun every so often.

 

She chose an all girls school because she wanted to focus on her education, not her social life. So far, I think it has been a wonderful experience for her.

 

Faithe

[Mommyfaithe]

Oh, for goodness sake! My sister is a lesbian. It is NOT catching :lol:

 

I think a womens' school is fabulous for the right student. Has she visited? She should try a day visit (sit in on class/es in her major) and an overnight if she's comfortable. And you might want to look at College Confidential's forums http://talk.collegeconfidential.com especially the parents' forum (the student ones are a bit snarky and over-the-top) and look up the school on the "alphabetical listing" to see if it has its own miniforum.

 

:lol: That is soooo true! My best friend all through high school was openly a lesbian...and my other bff was a gay guy! He introduced ME to my husband! He thought we would be perfect together. :-)....It is definitely NOT catching and I still love my friends! They got weirded out when I became a Christian...que cera..cera!

 

Faithe

[AHASRADA]

I attended a women's Catholic college in the 90s. It was an absolutely wonderful, fabulous experience (and I'm not Catholic ;)). Of course, it would depend on the school, it's philosophy, course offerings, etc. I suppose some might have extremely liberal/feminist professors, which could affect the educational experience. Mine had a great balance of varying ages and backgrounds for both students and professors (including a few men), but obviously there would be less socially liberal professors at a religious-based school.

 

I was aware of maybe 2 or 3 lesbian students (one of whom I had gone to high school with), but none lived on campus and I don't think that it was much of a factor in dorm life.

 

My favorite part of the "women's college" experience was the opportunity for leadership roles, the freedom to speak our minds freely in class without the male students dominating, and the benefit of learning from female peers with a variety of backgrounds and ages.

 

At my school, men were admitted as "adult students" (over 25), but could not live on campus. At most, they represented 5% to 10% of the students in class. I believe this was a beneficial experience for them as well, to be outnumbered and ever-so-slightly intimidated by our dominance ;). BTW, I was already married at the time, and therefore had no interest in "socializing" with men outside of class in any case. For the rest of the young students, though, they were able to focus on their education without worrying about "bad hair days" and what their male classmates would think of them.

 

Although it was a somewhat expensive (at the time) private school, they made a concerted effort to award scholarships to single mothers on welfare, created a Women's Small Business Project and attracted a lot of "continuing" students of all ages. It was eye-opening and widened my experience and view of the world to be learning alongside women my mother's and grandmother's ages, as well as women closer to my own age but who had been through some very trying life circumstances. It was a small school, small classes and dedicated professors with a focus on teaching rather than on research and gaining tenure. IMO, these were likely the most important factors in my positive college experience, moreso than the "women's" aspect.

 

I guess my point is, the environment of a women's college can have some wonderful benefits. The tone of the campus, their activities and their focus can vary greatly, however, which of course would affect the experience. I would spend more time researching these issues to find out of this would be the best environment for your dd.

[Farrar]

I went to Mount Holyoke. Yes, there were lesbians there who were a very visible segment of the campus population. Probably more than at a co-ed school. Ditto for Smith down the road. But there were a lot more straight women than gay.

 

Mount Holyoke turned out not to be the best spot for me... but it had nothing to do with lesbians. :lol: I think unless you choose a specifically Christian school most any small to medium college (at some large universities, maybe you can escape this prevailing sentiment, but even then...) is going to have a GLBT population that is vocal and visible and there will be a strong culture on campus encouraging students to be accepting and open toward GLBT students. An attitude I'm personally strongly for myself.

 

While it didn't turn out to be for me, I think there are many positive aspects of women's colleges. If your dd chooses to go there, I would assume it's for those reasons.

[JoyfulMama]

I graduated from Cedar Crest College in PA in the 90s. I LOVED being at a women's college. I don't know that there were more lesbians there than I would have encountered at any other university. I lived in the same dorms with them, shared bathrooms with them, went to class with them, and hung out with them, whether they were lesbian or not.

Now, there were some men there, as men are allowed to enroll in specific programs.

 

I enjoyed the focus on learning and growing, and not the focus on impressing someone to score a date. If I wanted to do the college party scene it was open at other colleges. There are also always local hangout places, and for a change of scenery and different sources, often travelled to other university libraries.

 

And for the record, I did meet my dh while attending. I just didn't ever have the intention of attending college in order to get my MRS. ;)

[MaMa2005]

I attended an all women's college in the greater ATL area back in the Stone Age (late 70s). Yes, there were lesbians on campus, but we all treated them like we wanted to be treated. It absolutely wasn't a big deal.

 

I got an outstanding education. Small class size, great professors. We had tons of socials with two other schools that had lots of good looking guys :D.

[JennyD]

My oldest and dearest friend graduated from Wellesley. It was a life-changing experience for her and she has nothing but good things to say about it. She's a doctor now and credits her Wellesley profs with cultivating her interest in science.

[Blueridge]

I just wanted to thank you all for your honest and helpful replies! I guess I was just struck *dumb* when my MOM made that comment :glare:, and I didn't know how to respond. Now I will, should she bring it up again. Thanks so much!

[smrtmama]

Like any college, there are good women's colleges and bad women's colleges. We have a great one near here.

 

If a women's school attracts more lesbians, so what? Are there people out there who are really afraid that the big, scary lesbians are going to prey upon their poor, straight daughters and gayify them by force? Because I'd feel a lot less concerned about my daughter being forced into non-consensual sex (or pressured into barely-consensual sex) by straight guys than by lesbians. That sounds like a BIG point in favor of women's schools. :)

 

Also, not sure where everyone is getting that 1% thing for the percentage of the population that identifies as gay/lesbian/bisexual. Recent data (Gary J. Gates, 2006, "Same-Sex Couples and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Population: New Estimates from the American Community Survey") puts it at around 4%, about 8.8 million gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in the US.

Edited July 22, 2010 by smrtmama

[WishboneDawn]

I just wanted to thank you all for your honest and helpful replies! I guess I was just struck *dumb* when my MOM made that comment :glare:, and I didn't know how to respond. Now I will, should she bring it up again. Thanks so much!

 

"But there will b lots of lesbians there!"

 

"Oh that's okay Mom. DD has had all her vaccinations. Bean dip?"

 

Let her sort that out. :D

[Jana]

I worked at Scripps College in Claremont, CA when I was a grad student. I lived on campus, I loved it! The students were invested in community and academics. It was a wonderful place to live/work. Plenty of straight students, plenty of lesbians. Just like at any college.

 

I agree that not all women's college are the same. The ethos has to fit, just like any other college. Have her visit--check it out

[naturegirl7]

I went to an all girls school for a year (left for personal reasons after a year). The school was great, with a great rep. I went cuz I honestly didn't want the typical college party life experience, it was close to home, and it gave me the best $$ package.

 

There was a large lesbian population and many girls who "experimented" with being lesbians at some point that first year. There were also girls who'd go frat party hopping at the other local colleges (one of which is the nations top party school!) every single weekend...

 

I did like that you could go to class in your PJs (although it seems like that is a pre-req at coed schools now :tongue_smilie:) and that there was a definite decrease in distraction during classes. It was only the occasion girl hitting on me, not a daily thing with several guys who just don't take a hint.

 

It was generally a fiarly supportive environment - but of course there were some super petty girls, but it was really low considering how many girls were there! It was a different kind of girl that went there - the super high maintanence drama queens where limited - a definite plus :001_smile:

 

Some of the friends I made there, in just one year, are some of my closest friends. 10+ years later we still talk, and one is my bestest friend and we love vacationing near the other so we can hang out. Our kiddos are great friends and penpals :)

It is also where I met and fell in love with my hubby - go figure! :D

[naturegirl7]

I graduated from Cedar Crest College in PA in the 90s. I LOVED being at a women's college. I don't know that there were more lesbians there than I would have encountered at any other university. I lived in the same dorms with them, shared bathrooms with them, went to class with them, and hung out with them, whether they were lesbian or not.

Now, there were some men there, as men are allowed to enroll in specific programs.

 

I enjoyed the focus on learning and growing, and not the focus on impressing someone to score a date. If I wanted to do the college party scene it was open at other colleges. There are also always local hangout places, and for a change of scenery and different sources, often travelled to other university libraries.

 

And for the record, I did meet my dh while attending. I just didn't ever have the intention of attending college in order to get my MRS. ;)

 

I was at CCC in the late 90s - and met my hubby there too! LOL My best friend met hers there too in a evening spanish cert. class :)

[OnTheBrink]

There are lesbians at co-ed colleges, too, fcol. I don't understand the logic of being worried about that. My EXMIL won't eat at Olive Garden because she says there are homosexuals that work there. HELLO! Her own son is gay! Whatever. :001_rolleyes:

 

Anyway, if I were considering what kinds of people at a college might hurt my dd, lesbians wouldn't even cross my radar.

[Momling]

Anyway, if I were considering what kinds of people at a college might hurt my dd, lesbians wouldn't even cross my radar.

 

:lol: As a lesbian myself, this cracks me up!!

 

FWIW, I didn't go to a women's college. And really, I didn't even know anyone who was gay at my college before I actually realized my own orientation. I'd have to say that the quantity of lesbians in a college just doesn't have any influence on a person becoming a lesbian. :tongue_smilie:

[Osmosis Mom]

My oldest and dearest friend graduated from Wellesley. It was a life-changing experience for her and she has nothing but good things to say about it. She's a doctor now and credits her Wellesley profs with cultivating her interest in science.

 

Well, dd is at Wellesley and loving it (mostly). The students there are strong confident women. Yes, there is a big population of lesbians, but there is also a huge level of diversity that we did not encounter at some of the other schools -and we love diversity!

 

Dd shared first room with a student who had her boyfriend over and would kick dd out during their *sessions* (!) so it's not like boys are a rarity either. In general then there is a huge level of respect for other people and nothing outrageous going on, sexually speaking! I think the people who stereotype schools in this way are the same who in general prefer women to be less outspoken and less independent and thus they categorize all students at women's schools as lesbians!!! Whatever.

[Mom0012]

My dd is probably going to apply to a women's college. She is not a lesbian and the school is in a major metropolitan area with another local school being predominately male. SHe heard this problem about another school that was courting her but that one didn't seem as serious and this one definitely has plenty of hetero girls attending too. Is the lesbian population higher than the 1% in the general population? Probably but not a majority or anything like that.

 

I don't know what percentage the population is, but have you noticed that it is now cool to be a lesbian because it's being marketed as an equally wonderful choice to heterosexuality? I know at my sdd high school, I saw a number of girls holding hands and I heard from her about lots of girls being bisexual or lesbian. I think girls that are truly born that way should not be discriminated against or shamed, but I really do hate to see girls that are not naturally that way experimenting so heavily with homosexuality just because there is no longer a stigma attached and because it is presented as an equally attractive choice. I'm sure there are many others that see no harm in it.

 

As far as the women's college, I'm not sure there would be a greater number of girls experimenting there than at a co-ed college, but it might be something I would consider looking into a little deeper if it was a concern. A quick trip to the college would probably answer your question, as no one seems to be hiding their preferences these days.

 

Lisa

[newbie]

There are lesbians at co-ed colleges, too, fcol. I don't understand the logic of being worried about that. My EXMIL won't eat at Olive Garden because she says there are homosexuals that work there. HELLO! Her own son is gay! Whatever. :001_rolleyes:

 

Anyway, if I were considering what kinds of people at a college might hurt my dd, lesbians wouldn't even cross my radar.

 

I love the last quote. My dd is attending an all womens in the fall in major metro. Lesbians are not on my radar.

 

She wanted all women, b/c she is interested in learning w/strong group of women who are leaders and love education.

[Audrey]

My dd is currently researching colleges in our area. One near the top of her list is a women's college. It has a beautiful campus, wonderful opportunities for degrees in her beloved field of writing, and seems like a special place to learn at. Have any of you attended one or know someone who has attended one? I wasn't one bit apprehensive until a well-meaning relative made a smug comment about (forgive me here) them being magnets for lesbians. While I think that is ridiculous, there may be others who think the same. So, what is your opinion of the environment of a women's college? I would appreciate any thoughts you would share.

 

 

I have known several who have attended women's colleges and really thrived there. One good friend has said of her experience at Bryn Mawr that she developed self-confidence and a wonderful sense of self-respect there that she never found before. The atmosphere was highly competitive, but supportive -- pushing them to their best.

 

As for the lesbian comments... well, so what? If your daughter isn't gay when she gets there, she's sure not going to be gay when she leaves. It simply doesn't work that way.

[Smithie]

I went to Smith. Obviously.

 

I graduated in 2000 with a diamond on my finger - and I didn't get it from a woman. :D

 

I really, really liked the female-dominated environment of a women's college. The halls were quiet. The bathrooms were CLEAN. I spent my junior at Penn, which is where I met the guy who eventually coughed up the diamond, and omigod college boys are FILTHY. I hated coed living. When my own daughters are choosing colleges, I will enthusiatically recommend the all-female option.

 

"Anyway, if I were considering what kinds of people at a college might hurt my dd, lesbians wouldn't even cross my radar. "

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Mergath]

I don't know what percentage the population is, but have you noticed that it is now cool to be a lesbian because it's being marketed as an equally wonderful choice to heterosexuality? I know at my sdd high school, I saw a number of girls holding hands and I heard from her about lots of girls being bisexual or lesbian. I think girls that are truly born that way should not be discriminated against or shamed, but I really do hate to see girls that are not naturally that way experimenting so heavily with homosexuality just because there is no longer a stigma attached and because it is presented as an equally attractive choice. I'm sure there are many others that see no harm in it.

 

As far as the women's college, I'm not sure there would be a greater number of girls experimenting there than at a co-ed college, but it might be something I would consider looking into a little deeper if it was a concern. A quick trip to the college would probably answer your question, as no one seems to be hiding their preferences these days.

 

Lisa

 

Yes, by all means let's continue to discriminate against gays and lesbians to protect straight people from experimentation. And while we're doing that, perhaps we should also start discriminating against straight people. We don't want gays experimenting with heterosexuality, after all.

 

Being gay or bi isn't being "marketed" as anything. It's just becoming more accepted. One of the awesome things about most of us in the lgbt community is that we believe you are born with your sexual orientation. Thus, no "marketing."

 

Also, I would hope that no one would be ignorant enough to base their college decision upon one visit and the number of women they see kissing in the food court. Jeez.

[Mom0012]

Yes, by all means let's continue to discriminate against gays and lesbians to protect straight people from experimentation. And while we're doing that, perhaps we should also start discriminating against straight people. We don't want gays experimenting with heterosexuality, after all.

 

Being gay or bi isn't being "marketed" as anything. It's just becoming more accepted. One of the awesome things about most of us in the lgbt community is that we believe you are born with your sexual orientation. Thus, no "marketing."

 

Also, I would hope that no one would be ignorant enough to base their college decision upon one visit and the number of women they see kissing in the food court. Jeez.

 

Well, sorry if my post rubbed you the wrong way, but I did say that I didn't want people who were naturally gay discriminated against. But I do believe it has been "marketed" to kids in school as a choice, rather than something you are born to. I strongly believe some people are born gay and that many others are just now totally confused because of the strong message they are given. Like I said, it's the cool thing to do now and I think a lot of girls are now choosing that orientation when they wouldn't have otherwise. Sorry, but that does bother me.

 

If my daughter was born gay, I would hope I would completely accept her as she was. If she wasn't, I really wouldn't want her influenced into believing it is just as good a choice, when I don't believe it is.

 

And, yes, I guess I am silly enough to think that if there are women hanging all over each other on a campus, that there might be a very strong gay community.

 

Again, I want to reiterate that I do not feel gay people should be discriminated against and I don't believe I said that. I just think the pendulum swings one way and then another and right now there seems to be the "in" thing to be gay or bi. I say this based on experiences my sdd has shared with me from high school, but perhaps I am wrong.

 

Lisa

[Smithie]

"...I really wouldn't want her influenced into believing it is just as good a choice, when I don't believe it is."

 

 

If your sdd tells you that the girls in her high school are experimenting with homosexual behavior in absence of actual desire to be with another girl, but more to make a provocative display of themselves and how wild they are, then yes, that's disturbing.

 

But disturbing behavior at a coed high school is not predictive of the social environment at a single-sex college. I think what you are actually trying to express is your discomfort with indiscriminate precocious sexuality among today's adolescents and the way that our society condones and reinforces it. I'm right there with you. Most adult lesbians probably are too. :)

[Maria from IN]

Here in Terre Haute there is a private women's college, Saint Mary of the Woods. I didn't go there, but I know several people who did, and they are confident, mature women...I don't know if they would be that confident and mature if they attended a co-ed college. As a whole, graduates from coed schools in this area are just high school students who happen to be 4 years older.

 

As for student life, we also have Indiana State University, Rose Hulman Institute of Technology (formerly all boys), and Ivy Tech State College--so there's not much of a chance for isolation.

 

I have noticed that "Woodsies" have some interesting programs, like Masters in Art Therapy--I would've liked to have that in my school!

[Margo out of lurking]

my MOM made that comment :glare:,

 

I did write you privately that I agree with that perception about this particular school, but I didn't add this comment:

 

OF COURSE YOU MUST CONSIDER THE SOURCE!!!!!!

 

(My mantra when dealing with a certain family member of my own.)

 

And I bet I made you laugh. :)

[Blueridge]

I did write you privately that I agree with that perception about this particular school, but I didn't add this comment:

 

OF COURSE YOU MUST CONSIDER THE SOURCE!!!!!!

 

(My mantra when dealing with a certain family member of my own.)

 

And I bet I made you laugh. :)

 

You are funny, Kristine! Oh yes, the things my mom can bring up are endless! ;)

[Shawn On the Border]

I went to Mount Holyoke and really enjoyed it. It was a great learning environment for a young woman. Sometimes having the opposite sex in the classroom can be distracting. In a women's college you don't feel like you have to dress up for class, or worry about what that cute guy thinks of you. You can focus on the learning in a supportive, but challenging environment.

 

As far as lesbians- there probably are more lesbians at a women's college, but they aren't the majority. Most colleges will have groups of people that you or your daughter don't agree with, and there will be gays anywhere she goes.

[stripe]

I was interested in attending a women's college when I was in high school, and one of my mother's friends (the friend is herself a lesbian) warned (?) my mom about one of the colleges being very heavily lesbian-influenced to the point of pressuring into experimentation. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I went on a tour of another women's college, where the guide advised me about how it was perfectly fine to have my boyfriend in the room for up to three days -- my reaction was more "why would I want to be stuck with my roommate's boyfriend for three days?" This is a problem in coed schools as well (the controversy is described in great detail by Wendy Shallit).