I need the opinion of my calm, unaffected hive

[fairytalemama]

I agree with those who said mail it to her without a note. She obviously has some serious issues. Don't let her hand you her bag of poo.

[In2why]

My MIL gave us the professional wedding portraits from dh's first marriage a few years ago for Christmas. Now that was a bad gift and I still haven't gotten over it :angry:

 

You've received great advice already. One poster hit it spot on when she said you'll never regret sending it back. That's the right response on all sorts of levels.

 

 

((Picking Jaw up off the floor)) Wow!!!

[MicheleinMN]

Send it back, no note. Make sure you get delivery confirmation, insurance, or maybe certified signature required. :D

 

:iagree:

[Homeschooling6]

My MIL gave us the professional wedding portraits from dh's first marriage a few years ago for Christmas. Now that was a bad gift and I still haven't gotten over it :angry:

 

.

 

Wow! That's really mean. How can people be so mean like that? What's going on in their heads:confused:? I just don't get it.

[Mallorie]

Well, when you put stuff like this out there, you have to be prepared for some criticism as well as some support. I think we can all relate to having people like your MIL in our lives. This bothered me:

 

Ladies,

I appreciate your honesty; although the comment about my siggy did hurt a bit. You have no idea the depths of what we've been through over the last 15 years, and for the sake of following my Redeemer, I won't gossip or tell the laundry list of examples that would knock your socks off. I will say this -- you have no idea. My calm defense (it was no attack) of my children on that day was probably overdue and certainly appropriate.

 

 

Your original post was airing laundry. Even if all was true, and even if you were justified, it was airing laundry. I think from the original post, you knew what you should do, but what you needed was to vent and be supported in your feelings of anger and hurt. And your feelings are valid.

 

If I am going to hold the title of "Christian", I am bound to tell you the truth, IN LOVE, and not from a place of superiority, but from a place of understanding. So please let me add that I COMPLETELY understand your frustration, I have situations in my life that push my every limit, and cause me to stumble. And it's not too far off to say that someday I might come here with a gripe, and need to be reminded of humility.

 

Continue to pray about the situation, pray for your husbands family. I'm proud of you that you made the right decision to send it back, without commentary. :)

[Storm Bay]

You did the right thing in sending it back, and had I been on sooner, I would have immediately agreed with the first poster who suggested this (Sue) & added the suggestion someone else maid about tracking it so you can be sure it was delivered. You can't change your mil, and while Mindy has a point about being rude, there comes a time in a difficult relationship when it's hard to be polite. There are even times when telling someone off is the right thing to do.

 

However, and I speak from hard experience (it's been very difficult for me to do this with one particularly difficult relative), I do agree that you need to forgive & let go. I also agree with the decisions you & your dh have made about how and when you will spend time with such difficult people.

[HSMom2One]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Ugh. What a mess.

 

Ok, you could send back the camera, which you admit you don't like to use anyway, with a note saying something like, "Here. No, I don't understand, but I would rather not have to deal with your issues any more than I have to." Just put it in a box and mail it. Don't let this Cathy person come over.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

Saying what you are feeling in the flesh will not make things better. I agree that it's best to return the camera with honesty such as Ellie suggests here or no note at all. Whatever reply you make, do it softly instead of with a harsh reaction. Show your mil the better way. It won't cost you anything, except the price for postage.

 

I know this has already been addressed in this thread, but I'll chime in. Sometimes, and I know this from experience, non-believing family members like to cause controversy that they hope will suck you in and ignite into a big drama. If you choose to reply without anger and insults you will defuse the situation and avoid more ugly behavior. Although I'd be tempted to share a piece of my mind to the lady myself, I believe I would just pack up the camera and send it back by insured mail with a receipt for delivery. This way no one else is involved, the conversation stops and she gets her camera back.

 

I admire you and your husband's way of handling these strained family relations. Stand your ground as you protect your family! This is how chains are broken that have been passed on in our families. We can choose, with God's help, to break away from the bondage of bad, self-seeking behavior.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

Edited July 20, 2010 by HSMom2One

[Jen the RD]

Tina, this is not a post to tell you what to do because I honestly feel that is between you, dh, and the Lord. What is striking to me is how many of us ladies deal with MIL issues. I know many of us have sons, so, it seems fittiing to me that we never forget what we've gone through. Hopefully, those memories will help us be better MIL ourselves. I hope and pray fervently for my dc's future mates and my/our relationship with them.

 

Jennifer

[HSMom2One]

Tina, this is not a post to tell you what to do because I honestly feel that is between you, dh, and the Lord. What is striking to me is how many of us ladies deal with MIL issues. I know many of us have sons, so, it seems fittiing to me that we never forget what we've gone through. Hopefully, those memories will help us be better MIL ourselves. I hope and pray fervently for my dc's future mates and my/our relationship with them.

 

Jennifer

 

Oh, how I wish I'd said that! Thanks, Jen. That is such wise, godly insight for all of us. I'd only add that mil issues are very similar to step-parent issues. We can all apply this point to those relationships that are part of the package when marriage adds more people to the family.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[johnandtinagilbert]

My MIL gave us the professional wedding portraits from dh's first marriage a few years ago for Christmas. Now that was a bad gift and I still haven't gotten over it

 

You've received great advice already. One poster hit it spot on when she said you'll never regret sending it back. That's the right response on all sorts of levels.

Wow. That is something. I'm sorry you've received such unkindness.

 

Well, when you put stuff like this out there, you have to be prepared for some criticism as well as some support. I think we can all relate to having people like your MIL in our lives. This bothered me:

 

 

 

Your original post was airing laundry. Even if all was true, and even if you were justified, it was airing laundry. I think from the original post, you knew what you should do, but what you needed was to vent and be supported in your feelings of anger and hurt. And your feelings are valid.

 

If I am going to hold the title of "Christian", I am bound to tell you the truth, IN LOVE, and not from a place of superiority, but from a place of understanding. So please let me add that I COMPLETELY understand your frustration, I have situations in my life that push my every limit, and cause me to stumble. And it's not too far off to say that someday I might come here with a gripe, and need to be reminded of humility.

 

Continue to pray about the situation, pray for your husbands family. I'm proud of you that you made the right decision to send it back, without commentary. :)

:iagree: it was airing laundry and that is why I said, "I've said too much." I just needed the vent. I could have lessened the detail. I was just trying to offer perspective.

 

You did the right thing in sending it back, and had I been on sooner, I would have immediately agreed with the first poster who suggested this (Sue) & added the suggestion someone else maid about tracking it so you can be sure it was delivered. You can't change your mil, and while Mindy has a point about being rude, there comes a time in a difficult relationship when it's hard to be polite. There are even times when telling someone off is the right thing to do.

 

However, and I speak from hard experience (it's been very difficult for me to do this with one particularly difficult relative), I do agree that you need to forgive & let go. I also agree with the decisions you & your dh have made about how and when you will spend time with such difficult people.

I have forgiven and let go...let go of them in my life, which was something more difficult for me than most anything. That does not mean they can no longer affect me. I forgive, but I haven't forgotten and b/c of the experience of the last 15 years, I won't be so foolish as I was many years ago concerning them or their methods.

 

I am ALL ABOUT FAMILY b/c my childhood was very void of family (I'm a foster kid who comes from very broken people), all about sharing God's love and all about helping others. The people in Dh's family are beyond our help, but not beyond God's. We pray for them, we honor them (except when I air laundry, which I don't usually do--totally my bad for giving too much detail) and pray for them continually. If there were any real signs of healing, I'd jump right in, but there are no real signs (yet). One cannot do justice to the sorrow of losing loved ones, but the situation requires it for the well being of my household.

 

I was not upset with Mindy's post, she thought I was rude, but that is b/c she has no idea of the depth of the situation. During that day, I was actually the only one that prevented rudeness. Dh was ready to take it waaay over the top. His mom was...well, his mom. I didn't feel the need to justify or argue further than saying, "you have no idea." I could probably redefine rude with our family stories :glare::tongue_smilie:

 

The siggy comment hurt and I did find it out of line, but I'm not mad to hear a complete stranger question my walk with Jesus, even if I found it unwarranted. My original post specifically said what I knew I ought to do and what my flesh would desire (not in those words). If nothing, that battle is testament to a Christian walk: just ask Paul when you see him :001_smile: No one better explains the buffeting of the body and soul better than he. I *know* what I was feeling in anger and frustration was not the best path and so I chose another...unlike the email that said, "I feel bad." but I'm doing it anyway. There is a difference. I do not think myself superior, just different and the fruit of the situation is evident in that. I really thought my original post was clear in my understanding of what to do and want to do and for that reason, I found it appropriate coming from a Christian. Any person who thinks a Christian can walk blamelessly, has little understanding of Christianity; any person who believes a Christian must make the effort to walk blamelessly, but will stumble, does understand. I will never appear perfect. I do not expect others to appear perfect. I do, however, know that I will know them by their fruits. Ya'll can see some of mine here and on my blog and make your decisions. I'll leave that between you and God.

 

I appreciate all the support and those who felt the need to stick up for me. I'm sure neither woman meant unkindness and I am certainly aware that when you ask a public forum for opinion, you can always get slammed. It's okay, really. Believe me, we've withstood much worse from those who claim to love us and love Jesus. I will be thrilled when that camera is out of our house and any opportunity for confrontation or any move for drama is removed. There is nothing worth losing my peace of mind over, especially from those who seem to conspire against us and simply cause strife.

 

Again, I thank you all for your encouragement to do the right thing. That's exactly why I came here. I KNEW the church family here would offer wisdom and kindess and also a good laugh :) I knew somebody would tell me something worse that's happened to them (those pictures are somethin'!) and I knew I could get a snide remark to please my flesh. I walk there too...I'm only human.

 

My MIL on the other hand...something out of a horror flick....:lol::lol: TOTALLY KIDDING. Just had to end on a funny note. Let me list some wonderful things about her and ask you all to pray for her life:

cake decorating

home decorating

scrap booking (she got us started)

she is gifted in creativity and has a beautiful laugh

she instilled the love of Scrabble into my home

 

FIL

great work ethic

importance of provision

sacrifice for children

honoring his mother

 

And of course, my favorite accomplishment from them: birthing my husband.

 

Go in peace sisters...

Edited July 20, 2010 by johnandtinagilbert
driving myself crazy with affect, effect

[Capt_Uhura]

I haven't read any of the other replies. If it were me, I'd box up the camera, since you don't want Kathy in your house, mail it to her, send it CERTIFIED so you know who signed for it and when, and let it drop. I know it would eat at me but its. just. not. worth. it.

 

Good luck!

[Karis]

Tina, this is not a post to tell you what to do because I honestly feel that is between you, dh, and the Lord. What is striking to me is how many of us ladies deal with MIL issues. I know many of us have sons, so, it seems fittiing to me that we never forget what we've gone through. Hopefully, those memories will help us be better MIL ourselves. I hope and pray fervently for my dc's future mates and my/our relationship with them.

 

Jennifer

Agree

 

I witnessed my mom's relationship with her MIL - My grandma. They had the greatest friendship - TRULY!!! And I thought that was how it would be when I married - beautiful, loving, joyful... ReaL

 

I have been hurt too many times and had to really adjust MY expectations of my relationship with my inlaws.

 

 

 

My relationship with my MIL is "strained." Polite - but there are strong, undeniable undercurrents that'll probably always be there. I have to psych myself up for every gathering - it's exhausting. And there's a spoiled, jealous SIL - so they "tag team." But because they are "Christian" they are very mean, nasty in the "nice" way. (Just admit to being a witch and be REAL. Your religion is a joke.)

 

 

I praise the LORD every day for a strong marriage and unity w/ my hubby.

 

My fervent prayer is that hubby and I would have genuinely wonderful relationships with our children AND future son and daughter in love.

 

The love my hubby gets from my side of the fam is beautiful.

[Karis]

Tina,

 

I love your last post.

[Jen+4dc]

 

Of course, if you could compile some newspaper articles about people killing their in-laws because they drove them insane and use that for packaging.......................................................................

:lol::lol:

 

Tina, this is not a post to tell you what to do because I honestly feel that is between you, dh, and the Lord. What is striking to me is how many of us ladies deal with MIL issues. I know many of us have sons, so, it seems fittiing to me that we never forget what we've gone through. Hopefully, those memories will help us be better MIL ourselves. I hope and pray fervently for my dc's future mates and my/our relationship with them.

 

Jennifer

 

Wise woman!!

 

 

Tina,

 

Your posts always encourage and uplift me! Your family will be in my prayers.:grouphug:

[Impish]

Another vote for sending it back, without comment.

I'd want to send it COD though

[johnandtinagilbert]

Another vote for sending it back, without comment.

I'd want to send it COD though

Impish,

Long time no see :)

 

I thought of you this very morning as I typed my OP :) I heart you!

[Gooblink]

Aw, shoot. I apologize for the siggy comment. It didn't occur to me that it would come across as hurtful. In my head I was pointing out that professing Christians should be able to work things out...in practice it's often easier said than done and I have no idea what you live with day-to-day. I'm sure we each have our limits. Please forgive me.

[Honey Bee]

Rejoice.

 

Life is messy. Some people do not know how to have a healthy, trustworthy relationship with others. All that they do causes caous and heartache to others. When they reach out, they may be trying to fill a need or just connect to someone they love. They may be so selfish and inwardly centered that their contacts with others always come across this way. Even though they love Christ, they love themselves more. And they sure don't treat others as they do themselves.

 

That is why I say rejoice, is is an opportunity. Albeit a long-term opportunity, but one to show your kids and your husband's family the true love of Christ. She might just have to look like a mission field in your mind. She needs prayer and it may help to have a different perspective on the situation. There is no telling what "needs" (love, security, trust) she has gone without as an adult or as a child that lives on today with her and now as an adult, has caused this web problems your family. I guess I am saying, as hard as it will be, just continue to have compassion. She may be trying to test the love of Christ in you and your husband. By protecting your children from most of their antics, you show how serious you are about love, trust, and the security of your children, all something she may or may not have had as a child or young lady.

 

I would kill her with kindness, send a simple note of thanks, a picture of the kids, and the camera--certified postage.

 

Rejoice, show her the love of God and you will sleep well at night. Life for Christians is a constant spiritual battle. Family members have more influence on each other than the devil wants us to think.

 

:grouphug:

[FriedClams]

I'd mail it back. With return receipt requested. Or something they have to sign to prove they got it. LOL!!!! Don't sweat it. I know it's hard - we have our own wacky family stuff here - but don't expend emotional eneregy where it's not wanted. Try and respect them for DH (i.e. don't speak about them ugly and serve them when they come, send a card [only] for birthdays, etc.) but then let it go.

[tranquilmama]

I haven't read through all the replies yet, but your MIL is EXACTLY LIKE MY MOTHER > > > >

 

and I am slowly,

 

and painfully,

 

learning to empower myself with boundary setting... AND boundary enforcing.

 

I, personally, would do fine with no contact with my parents. But *I* don't think that is Christ-like and even though they do these kinds of things in His name, it is up to me to live up to what I believe He would have me do.

 

What would I do (and I'm not calm and unaffected by this BTW, lol)??? I would give the camera back, and never accept a gift from her I wasn't ready to give back. Or just not accept gifts at all. My mom is gift-giver then take-backer too and when I told her the above, she apologized and said she would think more carefully about the gift giving and what she may or may not want back. It worked for me but I can't say it will work for you.

 

Best of luck and you have my empathy!!!

[ahousefullofjs]

I would ship it to her without a note.

[susancollins]

I have family like this, I know how you feel! I would send the camera back COD so she has to pay for shipping when she gets it. I would also tell my husband he has to deal with his family from now on.

[EJCMom]

I would send it back, thankful for the opportunity to demonstrate Christ's love. I also think that you should write down everything that you have ever wanted to say to her. Express every hurt feeling and every moment of anger. Get it out of your heart and onto the paper. Then, burn the paper and let it go. :grouphug:

[HSMom2One]

 

Again, I thank you all for your encouragement to do the right thing. That's exactly why I came here. I KNEW the church family here would offer wisdom and kindess and also a good laugh :) I knew somebody would tell me something worse that's happened to them (those pictures are somethin'!) and I knew I could get a snide remark to please my flesh. I walk there too...I'm only human.

 

My MIL on the other hand...something out of a horror flick....:lol::lol: TOTALLY KIDDING. Just had to end on a funny note. Let me list some wonderful things about her and ask you all to pray for her life:

cake decorating

home decorating

scrap booking (she got us started)

she is gifted in creativity and has a beautiful laugh

she instilled the love of Scrabble into my home

 

FIL

great work ethic

importance of provision

sacrifice for children

honoring his mother

 

And of course, my favorite accomplishment from them: birthing my husband.

 

Go in peace sisters...

 

Tina, you are a GEM!!! You have no idea how much you bless me on this forum, and I'm sure there are many others who feel the same way. Your recent post shows real class, and shows how much God has healed your life after such a painful past and family of origin. Praise God for the beatiful transformation that is so obvious in you.

 

You know, once in awhile we all need a place to vent, so don't apologize for doing it here. None of us are perfect, and we all have challenges to face where we need input and support. I'm just thankful to be acquainted with you here and want you to know that I wish I knew you IRL.

 

God bless you, dear girl!!

Lucinda

[mystika1]

Wow, I guess I am not the only one with crazy family.....

 

Well, I am no expert but I will say that whatever negativity you send their way will come back and get you.(no matter who started it) It is always better to do the right thing so that in your heart you will feel good about yourself. I am not condoning the terrible behavior in any way. To vent your feelings maybe you could write an imaginary letter getting all of your frustrations out. Take the letter and burn it and let go. Then package up the camera very nicely and mail it out. No note at all. She is clearly looking for a confrontation. You will inflame this person more by ignoring the bait.

 

My husbands family is very rotten. It is very hard not to yell and vent and seek revenge. But....I refuse to contribute to their little games. Life has gotten so much better since we did this. Plus I feel that I am teaching my children a valuable lesson. Dealing with anger in a non destructive way.

 

I hope I made sense.:001_smile:

 

HTH,

 

Penny

[Guest Cindie2dds]

I am new here, but you should do exactly as you have said: box up the camera with no comment, no email, and ship it to her. She has to deal with the consequences of her actions not you. You are responsible for your response to this situation and only your response.

 

I agree with this. While there is a side of me that would love to say something, it's best for your heart to wipe your hands clean of her and just let her go with the camera.

 

Good luck!

[Impish]

Impish,

Long time no see :)

 

I thought of you this very morning as I typed my OP :) I heart you!

If I'm around, its usually on the General board. :001_wub: back atcha!

 

(I think anyone that knows me at all thinks of me when there's a MIL issue. :lol:)

[RhondaM.]

I haven't read what the others wrote. Personally I'd email her back, telling her that the camera would be in a bag on my front porch and it could be picked up at anytime.

 

Ugh. What a pain.:glare:

[mhg]

I ditto Sue G of PA's advise to you. But one thing I'd do differently than her suggestion is that I'd take your MIL up on the Cathy as a conduit for the transaction. You need a 3rd party to witness your willing/happy compliance. I'd be dipped in poop before I let her know that his spiked any cortisol in this bloodstream (passive aggressives like this). As a christian it shouldn't spike the cortisol, but for those of us who still struggle with our humanity, it usually does, eh?!! So...I wouldn't go so far as a delivery confirmation, but I'd have dh give it over to Cathy (along with your nice note of thanks for the use of it)so that I did it JUST like MIL suggested.

Edited July 20, 2010 by mhg

[newbie]

Two words. Ship it. W/ a big card saying Love in Christ, right back at ya.

 

I am fed up to my eyeballs w/family.

[StephanieZ]

Bad inlaws are the worst. Ask me how I know, lol.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

We've had very minimal contact with dh's parents for the last 7+ years (I tried REALLY hard for the first decade, then finally let it go. . .)

 

FWIW, I try to think of them as crazy harmless people. I try to have pity. Maybe this approach would work for you. (Mine are successful, intelligent, moral, honorable people. They just are so self-centered as to be pathological. . . and this comes out in very unhealthy ways, especially for dh, who is unbelievably patient.)

 

Anyhow, after going on 18 years of dealing with these folks. . . I have found that I do best by trying to think of them as well meaning but crazy people who deserve pity. . . and also as people to whom I am indebted b/c they did indeed raise my amazingly wonderful husband (and his four successful, healthy siblings). . . No matter their failings, I am forever indebted.

 

I don't worry about what they think of me or our dc or my dh (their SON). . . but just try to be kind and move on. (Would I care what a crazy stranger on the street thought of my dc? No.)

 

So, you know, if some mentally-ill but kind-hearted person was insistent that you give them some random something or other, or whatever, then you'd just do it with a sad smile, unless it was something you really wanted or needed. But, if they want some ancient camera, then you'd hand it over, no?

 

Try it. See how it works for you. It makes my life smoother. (That said, I will see my inlaws this weekend for the first time in about 4 years, and w/o dh present no less. . . so, if you see some flaming posts next week from me. . . you'll know that this approach doesn't work in person, lol)

[mcconnellboys]

I think it's not worth it. I'd just mail it to her.

[MissKNG]

Your signature says you follow Jesus. Don't let your flesh eat you with those negative thoughts (I know it's hard because I am struggling with anger right now). BRING HER TO CHRIST BY SHOWING HIS LOVE!! You will be rewarded by HIM when you stand before Him someday....to me, that's WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more important than putting someone in their place now.

 

Let Jesus shine!!

[kalanamak]

To spare you mailing it, leave it somewhere else to pick up. Do you know someone who works a cash register? Tell her Cathy can pick it up Thursday next at Denny's on 59th and Rosemont St.

No note, no other word.

 

Alternatively, you could just not respond. Is she likely to firebomb your house?

 

Also, it is hubby's mother. Ask him what he'd like to do.

[Celia]

I guess I'd probably mail it back. It would take a lot to resist to urge to not fill it with a booby-trapped film cartridge that exploded stinky goo on her when she opened it, but I would resist. I might send a short note with the definition of 'gift'. I'd also send it C.O.D. and put a large heavy brick in the bottom of the package.

[campmom]

Mail the camera back and most importantly remember that God says that your husband should honor his parents, so that HIS days may be long upon the land. The honoring of the parent is for your husbands well being. Your job in this whole thing is to help your husband figure out what the best way to honor his mother is in this situation, and all of the others that will happen in the future. Through much prayer this problem can be resolved and the relationship can salvaged. I know from experience.

[strawberry]

StephanieZ,

I LOVE your attitude! It cracks me up! I think I'll try this with my own mother, even though I see her once a week! ; ) (Crazy lady who needs my pity...)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

You seem to still have hurt feelings over the holiday incident (as would I). But you are hanging those hurt feelings on an item that you don't use because of the cost factors.

 

Box it up. Send it by mail with a delivery confirmation slip.

 

You will feel better for doing this that you would for just getting angry and lashing out.

 

If you are still in communication with that side of the family, have dh tuck in a note. I would say something about how you would love to have a couple pictures of MIL and FIL for the kids.

 

You can continue to invite them to events if you want. You are not obligated to go and visit people who are intoxicated and out of control.

 

Stay above the fray and don't engage with the pettiness. If the next thing they ask for is something that you can't give up because you are still using it or have disposed of it, then just say so. Will she bad mouth you to other family members? Probably. But it sounds like she will do that no matter what you do. I would take the high road here since it's something you don't use. And I would feel free to say no next time.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

You know the scripture saying that by being nice to your enemies you heap hot coals on their head?

 

:iagree:

We really need a smiley for heaped burning coals. Maybe this?

 

:cursing:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My MIL gave us the professional wedding portraits from dh's first marriage a few years ago for Christmas. Now that was a bad gift and I still haven't gotten over it :angry:

 

You've received great advice already. One poster hit it spot on when she said you'll never regret sending it back. That's the right response on all sorts of levels.

 

Had I gotten a gift like that I would have been tempted to use the following thank you note.

 

Dear MIL,

 

Thank you so much for the package. I had a lovely mom's day out and didn't even need to buy new paper targets when my friends and I went target shooting.

 

Thanks for thinking of me.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Aw, shoot. I apologize for the siggy comment. It didn't occur to me that it would come across as hurtful. In my head I was pointing out that professing Christians should be able to work things out...in practice it's often easier said than done and I have no idea what you live with day-to-day. I'm sure we each have our limits. Please forgive me.

Cindy, Thank you. I didn't think you meant it hurtfully, so no forgiveness is necessary, but is gladly given for your kind gesture. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I tried for many years to keep peace, grin and bare it, b/c we are both professing Christians. Our last family Christmas together, my husband was told, "It's Christmas. Can you stop talking about God and Jesus and can we just enjoy the holiday?" No joke. That kinda summarized the commitment to Christianity of their home for dh and I. It was the first bible story he mentioned; he was speaking directly to our children and other adults were not even in the room; although she heard him b/c she was in the kitchen with me. Kind of...I'm a Christian with little fruit. Only God knows her heart and I pray she really does know Jesus, but no evidence, so the "love in Christ" is just a closing phrase to me, but you wouldn't know that :) How could you, right? Thank you again for apologizing. You're kindness is appreciated.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Just wanted you all to know I'm no longer agitated and back to living at peace with no thoughts of my MIL. Thanks for all the love :) :grouphug: to all.

Edited July 21, 2010 by johnandtinagilbert

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Tree House Academy]

Without word or warning, I would box the camera and send it to her...further severing the ties. Then, I would change my e-mail address or bounce any further e-mails from her...forcing her to telephone you if she needs to communicate in the future. She is taking the easy way out and sending someone else to pick it up. I would make this kind of cop-out all but impossible in the future.

[Carol in Cal.]

I'd send her the camera with a note that says, "You gave this to me freely, because I had a need. Now I give it to you freely, because you have a need, not because I believe it is still yours. Enjoy!"

 

 

 

Actually, I think this is pretty good. It's truthful without being vindictive or mean. You're standing up for yourself, but in a calm, assertive way, rather than an aggressive one.

 

I was leaning toward, oh just send it back and consider the source, but the wording above is so good that I would go with that.

[Storm Bay]

I have forgiven and let go...let go of them in my life, which was something more difficult for me than most anything. That does not mean they can no longer affect me. I forgive, but I haven't forgotten and b/c of the experience of the last 15 years, I won't be so foolish as I was many years ago concerning them or their methods.

 

Go in peace sisters...

 

 

:grouphug: I understand; you were simply venting your frustration, so I didn't see that you'd forgiven & moved on. It's very true that people like that can still affect you.

[ereks mom]

Send it back, no note. Make sure you get delivery confirmation, insurance, or maybe certified signature required. :D

 

:iagree: