The things we can adjust to!

[smrtmama]

Just a few years ago, a call like this would have blown my mind.

 

Now, I think nothing of my husband calling me to say, "I'm on my way back from the jail. I'll be pretty late tonight, because I have some drugs to enter in to evidence -- ecstasy and marijuana -- and I've gotta take a warrant."

 

Yup, on his way back from jail with a car full of drugs, and that's a typical Thursday night for Daddyman!

 

What weird things do your spouses/partners or children say to you that you can be totally nonchalant about now, but would have totally weirded you out a few years ago?

[Daisy]

Your husband ROCKS!

 

Here's my guy...

 

"Sorry, I didn't call you at lunch. I caught that crazy kindergartener I told you about last week, sitting in the urinal flushing it over and over again."

 

"Honey, I'm going to be late, one of the first graders who rides the bus, stole the keys to my scooter... Yes, the bus driver has the keys now."

 

...it keeps us laughing.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh - "I got a death threat from a mob boss today." I should say "reported mob boss". That is the scuttlebutt in our neck of the woods anyway. He's an RN nurse manager. He gets the out-of-control patients. And they don't get to choose who they treat.

 

And all too often he comes home to tell me, "Another really nice patient has decided to stop dialysis." It's hard because he knows that they are choosing to die by making that choice. Dialysis is considered "extreme measures" so they can't force someone to do it.

[elegantlion]

We have a drainage ditch at the front of our yard. It always has some water in it.

 

Today dh called me from the end of the driveway to say, "Honey, if you want to come see the alligator, he's out now." :001_huh:

 

Yes, we have a two foot alligator living in our drainage ditch. He's been there for a few days. According to the wildlife people we're just supposed to leave him alone.

 

A few years ago the thought alone would have freaked me out. Today I went out and took pictures. Yes, a phone call I never thought I would get. :lol:

[Daisy]

And all too often he comes home to tell me, "Another really nice patient has decided to stop dialysis." It's hard because he knows that they are choosing to die by making that choice. Dialysis is considered "extreme measures" so they can't force someone to do it.

 

That has to be tough. My BIL was on dialysis for almost 20 years before finally getting two transplants. It is the most emotionally and physically exhausting thing.

[smrtmama]

Today dh called me from the end of the driveway to say, "Honey, if you want to come see the alligator, he's out now." :001_huh:

 

 

 

 

BWAH!

 

My favorite phone call has been, "I chased a naked guy tonight. Well, he was wearing a pair of old tighty-whites. I'm pretty sure he was on angeldust."

[IsabelC]

Wow. My dh doesn't have anything nearly that exciting in his work. The most shocking thing I hear is like "[company] bought a new router when they didn't really need to" :lol:

[smrtmama]

Wow. My dh doesn't have anything nearly that exciting in his work. The most shocking thing I hear is like "[company] bought a new router when they didn't really need to" :lol:

 

 

Honestly, I try to focus on the funny stuff, because otherwise, I'll get so hung up on the worrisome stuff.

[Denisemomof4]

We have a drainage ditch at the front of our yard. It always has some water in it.

 

Today dh called me from the end of the driveway to say, "Honey, if you want to come see the alligator, he's out now." :001_huh:

 

Yes, we have a two foot alligator living in our drainage ditch. He's been there for a few days. According to the wildlife people we're just supposed to leave him alone.

 

A few years ago the thought alone would have freaked me out. Today I went out and took pictures. Yes, a phone call I never thought I would get. :lol:

 

WAY COOL!!! :hurray:

[MamaT]

It doesn't have anything to do with his work, but my dh called me from our front pasture the other morning and told me to look out the window - a bear was about to run by. It had just run past him and was making for the woods behind the house. :001_smile:

[rookie]

My DH teaches 300+ auditorium style classes. He regularly calls with the latest version of this comment:

 

Hey, Prof. ...... you look just like Superman - you should teach in your tights!

 

It changes for Buzz Lightyear, Mr. Incredible, Dick Tracy but always the cartoon character.

 

It's always young women saying this. :glare:

[Aubrey]

Dh: "Blah, blah, blah...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!" (on his cell phone, late at night, in another state)

 

Me: :001_huh:

 

Dh: "Sorry. Cow."

 

Me: :001_huh:

[smrtmama]

Dh: "Blah, blah, blah...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!" (on his cell phone, late at night, in another state)

 

Me: :001_huh:

 

Dh: "Sorry. Cow."

 

Me: :001_huh:

 

Those darn cows!

[Miss Peregrine]

My DH is a cop, too. I hear some crazy things, LOL

 

A few weeks ago I called him on his cell and he said he had to go. His exact words were, " Gotta go. I'm involved in a caper right now." :lol:

[i.love.lucy]

Mine calls me with the latest funny "office speak" of his coworkers. I guess these are the trendy sayings of cubicle-ites. Stuff like:

"we're gonna get granular on that problem tomorrow"

"we'll have to tackle the longest pole in the tent"

"haven't sliced the metrics that finely at this juncture"

"I'll work to procure those verbatims shortly."

:001_huh:

[Care]

My DH works in roadside assistance. I still get a little giggle when he tells me "I had to send somebody out to boost this guy's car..."

 

Here in Ontario, apparently "to boost" is to give someone a jump start. In my mind, though, I hear "I had to send somebody out to steal this guy's car..." :lol:

[Dawn in OH]

These are all amusing.

 

I however hear, "Well (insert name here) almost got killed tonight when (insert name here) didn't follow (insert safety procedure here).

 

He works in a chemical manufacturing plant. The worst part is, we live 10 minutes from it. Every time I hear lots of sirens I think "OMG, they've finally gone and blown everyone up."

[MamaT]

These are all amusing.

 

I however hear, "Well (insert name here) almost got killed tonight when (insert name here) didn't follow (insert safety procedure here).

 

He works in a chemical manufacturing plant. The worst part is, we live 10 minutes from it. Every time I hear lots of sirens I think "OMG, they've finally gone and blown everyone up."

 

Now that sounds scary. I'll take my bear. :001_smile:

[m0mmaBuck]

These are all amusing.

 

I however hear, "Well (insert name here) almost got killed tonight when (insert name here) didn't follow (insert safety procedure here).

 

He works in a chemical manufacturing plant. The worst part is, we live 10 minutes from it. Every time I hear lots of sirens I think "OMG, they've finally gone and blown everyone up."

 

I'm reminded of Homer Simpson at the nuclear power plant!:tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Mine calls me with the latest funny "office speak" of his coworkers. I guess these are the trendy sayings of cubicle-ites. Stuff like:

"we're gonna get granular on that problem tomorrow"

"we'll have to tackle the longest pole in the tent"

"haven't sliced the metrics that finely at this juncture"

"I'll work to procure those verbatims shortly."

:001_huh:

 

I like these! They are so undefined!

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My dh will call me up and tell me to send a Facebook message to his secretary to ask her what she is serving him for lunch. I keep telling him it's not funny after the 100th time, but he keeps doing it anyway.

[BridgeTea]

Whoa! No capers, angeldust or alligators for us.:) Ours are pretty tame:

 

From the back porch: "Throw me out some shorts, wouldja? I'm covered with strawberries." (that would be work-related)

 

From the upstairs tonight: "Mom! Come look where the toilet landed!" (That would be from the kid, helping her dad with some deconstruction. I can't wait til morning to see what the yard looks like under the window.)

[Dawn in OH]

I'm reminded of Homer Simpson at the nuclear power plant!:tongue_smilie:

 

Some of the guys he works with remind me of Homer Simpson, although younger.

 

His last job was fairly dangerous too. I sometimes wish he would go back to being a professional computer geek. I've never heard of anyone being blown up by a network crash. Although I do suspect he embellishes the stories a bit for dramatic affect. At least, that's what I hope.

[Truscifi]

"Babe, I'm going to be late. There was a knife fight at the restaurant and I have to file a report..." Or "an old guy choked on his steak at the restaurant..." or "two of the servers who were dating got in a fight in the parking lot..."

 

Can you tell dh is a restaurant manager? Fortunately he no longer works at the place with the knife fight, and the old guy was ok.

 

Also, I worked in the social work field before I quit to stay home with ds, so he got some pretty crazy calls from me too.

[OnTheBrink]

It doesn't have anything to do with his work, but my dh called me from our front pasture the other morning and told me to look out the window - a bear was about to run by. It had just run past him and was making for the woods behind the house. :001_smile:

 

Maybe the bear had to go potty. Was it carrying a roll of Charmin?:lol:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Maybe the bear had to go potty. Was it carrying a roll of Charmin?:lol:

 

 

I sure hope it was Charmin because I have come to understand that the other brands leave tp residue on even the most fastidious of bear butts! :tongue_smilie:

[KJsMom]

My husband works at the fire dept. downtown across from a grocery store. It isn't the best neighborhood. One night he called me to tell me about a man who apparently shoplifted several steaks and walked across the street to see if the fire dept. wanted to buy them.

Another time a man walked into the station in the middle of the night to ask for a cigarette lighter. Often people stop by to use the restroom. I'm not surprised by the stories anymore.

[LaissezFaire]

"I caught a guy trying to give CPR to roadkill."

 

Law enforcement officers have the best stories. LOL

[EthiopianFood]

"I caught a guy trying to give CPR to roadkill."

 

Oh, this is so sweet! :001_smile:

[LauraQ]

Well, I'm an RN in an emergency room. The only level II trauma unit within 3 hours drive (if you drive like me--3.5-4 hrs if you are a normal person). And we're county ;-) I'm usually the one with the crazy stories, like some kid high as a kite screaming at us that he's Abracadabra Man. Today I worked an area where there are 3 beds in one room (in addition to my other beds) and for some reason, all day I rotated through a bunch of comedians in that area! Every single patient and family member that rolled through there today had me laughing all day long--it was great!

 

Okay, so I came home the other day and after my shower, I went looking for my super-glue so I could re-glue (1) the scratches on my forearm from coral from snorkeling last week on vaca (2) a papercut from a chart from that day and (3) scraped knuckles from helping with a psychotic patient who bit me, spit on me, and then 5 minutes later told me I had pretty hair, and who knows me by first name and is actually a really nice person. Request for assistance in finding superglue to glue *myself* is not unusual around here. I buy a certain brand (comes with a brush) for *me* and the regular kind in a squeeze tube for non-me applications. When I say "Where's my superglue?" they ask, "for you, or is something broken?"

[katemary63]

His exact words were, " Gotta go. I'm involved in a caper right now." :lol:

 

:iagree: CUTE!!!

[lisamarie]

Wow. My dh doesn't have anything nearly that exciting in his work. The most shocking thing I hear is like "[company] bought a new router when they didn't really need to" :lol:

 

Yup, this would be the same types of things I get calls about. Or else, "I'm going to be late tonight. The network's down (or broken, or they got hacked into or something else equally boring)." I also get the calls where I ask him what he's doing and he goes into computer speak and at the end I say, "That's nice, but I didn't understand a word you just said."

 

Being the wife of a computer guy sure is exciting.:tongue_smilie:

[NanceXToo]

Well, my husband is a tattoo artist and body piercer who owns his own tattoo studio.

 

Over the years he's had some, er, interesting requests. Will you pierce my ahem, will you tattoo a turtle on my butt, and so on. Not often, but still. Just the requests alone used to kind of bug me. But now I just take them in stride, or don't even think about them.

 

After all, he doesn't do anything inappropriate anyway, if it can't be covered by a bathing suit, he's not touching it. (Or piercing or tattooing it as the case may be) :P

[Parrothead]

Just a few years ago, a call like this would have blown my mind.

 

Now, I think nothing of my husband calling me to say, "I'm on my way back from the jail. I'll be pretty late tonight, because I have some drugs to enter in to evidence -- ecstasy and marijuana -- and I've gotta take a warrant."

 

Yup, on his way back from jail with a car full of drugs, and that's a typical Thursday night for Daddyman!

 

What weird things do your spouses/partners or children say to you that you can be totally nonchalant about now, but would have totally weirded you out a few years ago?

Something like that would have never weirded me out. I'm a ex-cop married to a cop both from long lines of law enforcement.

 

I honestly can't think of anything that would have found strange when we met. That is probably weird in itself.

[Teachin'Mine]

What a great thread - it's hysterical!!!

 

Hope that bear made it to the woods in time. :lol:

[Sasharowan]

My dh's calls usually enumerate the number of snakes he chased away from pools. He cleans pools in FL and way too many for my liking are pygmy rattlers.

[fairfarmhand]

My dh is an engineer. Everything is in code. They use acronyms for EVERYTHING! CSO, SSO, SCADA....

 

I have finally gotten to where I can translate somewhat.

[Hen]

fairfarmhand...my dh is a civil engineer, and does bldg inspections, yeah, he does code and/or abreviations for lots of stuff. I'm thinking OSHA would be a good name for our next pet.

 

recently, dh called home to say he'd be home for dinner, even though he was supposed to be working overtime...because he told the contractors he would not return after dusk to inspect anything, it was a tough high school in a city. The contractors looked incredulous, then started looking around...then starting packing up, too.

[Mejane]

It's sad, but I've gotten much more blase about terrorist threats. My dh works in NYC, and he will call to tell me the police snipers are on the bridge, or that they've shut down a block and the SWAT team is there. I just can't worry about it all the time like I used to or it would drive me crazy.

[Mejane]

Please don't let me kill the thread with my downer of a reply! I've enjoyed reading others' replies. :)

[shannatheshedevil]

"I hope you don't need to go buy anything- the trunk if full of M-16 training dummies"..and sure enough, our trunk was full of rubber M-16s. I totally wanted to keep one to keep by the bed when the husband is out of town, though. :lol: I don't think a robber would think to check to see if it's real.

[nukeswife]

Sweetie, We're moving to England! (We are a military family) Two months later: Um, not England, it's Alabama. Two weeks later: Hey, we're moving to HAWAII!!!!! Several days later: ummm, it really is Alabama. (And it was and we had a great time!) I've learned not to get excited until you have orders in hand because the changes were driving me crazy.

 

My dh is military too, so I'm very familiar with calls such as that. Mine is in nuclear propulsion so there are many times I hear "I'd love to tell you about my day but that would require more clearance than you have" or "Hi Honey, we're at the pier now I'll see you later tonight after we get shore power up and the plants shut down." When he's in a typical non-nuclear job, it involves a lot of acronyms or things like this "I have to go now, I have XOI tonight, time to go yell at some people. If only they had an ounce of common sense."

[AHASRADA]

Dh - He's an RN nurse manager. He gets the out-of-control patients. And they don't get to choose who they treat.

 

And all too often he comes home to tell me, "Another really nice patient has decided to stop dialysis." It's hard because he knows that they are choosing to die by making that choice. Dialysis is considered "extreme measures" so they can't force someone to do it.

 

Sorry that this is OT, but this comment really threw me for a loop. My mom has been on dialysis for 18 years, the last 13 of those in the clinic, 3x/week, 4 hours at a time. She is only 56. I cannot imagine dialysis being considered an "extreme measure", much less allowing a patient to make a conscious decision to stop, without some serious psychological intervention. Yes it's a pain, yes it interferes with your schedule, yes it is often uncomfortable, but choosing not to do it is suicide, literally.

 

I would strongly encourage your dh to look into creating some sort of intervention program, including counseling, as well as mentoring with long-term dialysis patients, so they can see what a long and fulfilling life they can live despite their disability.

 

Off my soapbox now...

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sorry that this is OT, but this comment really threw me for a loop. My mom has been on dialysis for 18 years, the last 13 of those in the clinic, 3x/week, 4 hours at a time. She is only 56. I cannot imagine dialysis being considered an "extreme measure", much less allowing a patient to make a conscious decision to stop, without some serious psychological intervention. Yes it's a pain, yes it interferes with your schedule, yes it is often uncomfortable, but choosing not to do it is suicide, literally.

 

I would strongly encourage your dh to look into creating some sort of intervention program, including counseling, as well as mentoring with long-term dialysis patients, so they can see what a long and fulfilling life they can live despite their disability.

 

Off my soapbox now...

 

It is considered an extreme measure legally because it is prolonging a life through artificial means. His job means that he, along with the social worker, the Dr. and others do counsel the patient and the family. And yes, it is suicide. He knows it and so do those who choose it. None of the staff want the patient to choose this route but if someone is adamant, they cannot stop them. It is very, very sad. (Only in rare cases where the patient has mental illness or limited mental capacity can they legally stop someone and make it the decision of a guardian ad litem.) ETA: most of the people who choose this have been on dialysis for 30 years or so. They have other severe illnesses in addition. (His unit only deals with the sickest of dialysis patients).

Edited June 18, 2010 by Jean in Newcastle

[ElizabethB]

My husband regulary says, "We had an engine break, we flew home on 3." ( unlike the airlines, which fixes things before they break, the military just waits until they break and then fixes them.)

 

Now, 2 would be worrisome, but evidently 3 is OK.

 

He speaks in acronyms, too, but since I was in the Air Force for 11 years until I was promoted to Mom, I understand most of them, although they do change them from time to time just to confuse people.

[Mom-ninja.]

 

Okay, so I came home the other day and after my shower, I went looking for my super-glue so I could re-glue (1) the scratches on my forearm from coral from snorkeling last week on vaca (2) a papercut from a chart from that day and (3) scraped knuckles from helping with a psychotic patient who bit me, spit on me, and then 5 minutes later told me I had pretty hair, and who knows me by first name and is actually a really nice person. Request for assistance in finding superglue to glue *myself* is not unusual around here. I buy a certain brand (comes with a brush) for *me* and the regular kind in a squeeze tube for non-me applications. When I say "Where's my superglue?" they ask, "for you, or is something broken?"

 

Really? Super-glue on cuts?

 

 

 

 

After all, he doesn't do anything inappropriate anyway, if it can't be covered by a bathing suit, he's not touching it. (Or piercing or tattooing it as the case may be) :P

 

Do you mean if it *can* be covered by a bathing suit?