Freshly graduated 18-yr-old makle - curfew?

[JFSinIL]

DS, off to college in two months, thinks leaving the house at 11 PM to roller blade or otherwise hang out with fellow graduates is fine. I am thinking - not so fine. These kids are all very bright, AP earning and off to good colleges in the late summer - but I still think a curfew (midnight? 1am?) is in order. Obviously ds does NOT think so.

 

Opinions?

 

I reminded ds that WE are still paying for everything. Ds points out that when he is off to college he could stay out all night and we'd never know.

 

(PS - in another thread someone asked at what age does a kid think they know everything. I am the person who responded "18" ;) )

Edited June 3, 2010 by JFSinILnewme
I had am instead of PM - makes a BIG difference!!!

[Carrie12345]

Personally, I don't think it's a matter of what an 18 year old is doing when or where (as you say, in a couple of months you won't really know), but a matter of disrupting the household.

 

When I left college to come home, I shared a room with my younger sister. If I came in at 2am on a weekday, it would interrupt her sleep 3.5 hours before getting up for school. If I didn't give my mother a time to expect me home on a weekend, it would keep her up, worried.

 

So, I was in by 10 on weekdays and set my own curfew on weekends (and stuck to it!)

 

JME

[Chris in VA]

Midnight is a fine curfew. Everything legit is closed, people need to sleep, etc.

Does your dc have a job?

 

Going out at 11 (I'm assuming you meant pm) is fine--as long as dc is back in the house at 12.

 

I tell my ds that I can't sleep if he's not in the house by 12, and it isn't fair to make me worry! lol Well, at least I make him wake me up when he returns.

 

As far as college goes, tell him Yes, you will be able to stay out all night there. But here is not there. My house, my rules.

 

Besides, what is it that has to be done after midnight?

[Liza Q]

Is he driving? Walking or biking? Getting rides or expecting you to pick him up?

[Jen in PA]

I think it depends upon the maturity of the child. Starting two months after I turned 18, I left the house at 11 pm five nights a week to go to work at one of the three jobs I was doing to support my mother and sisters..... so having a curfew on nights I wasn't working didn't make much sense. But since you are the one footing the bills, it's totally your call.

[JoyfulMama]

I agree that it is a matter of respect that needs to be addressed. As a matter of respect I told my parents where I was going and when I expected to be home. As a matter of respect I honored a curfew. My mom had to be in at 9pm on weeknights until she was married. Weekends she had to be in by 10pm. She followed that out of respect. She expected me to follow her more generous curfews out of respect too.

 

Now, friends of mine had flexible curfews - they had to be home by x time, but they were allowed to have others in after that time, to watch movies or snack or whatever in the kitchen or the family room. I will allow that when the time comes.

[Debora R]

Setting up "house rules" is perfectly reasonable. Especially curfews. It is your house, after all. With that said.....

 

Why would leaving the house at 11 am to spend time with friends be not ok?

Is he shirking some other responsibility or otherwise disrupting the household? Do you have trust issues with him?

 

As long as he is meeting his obligations to the family and giving you the courtesy of letting you know where he will be and who he will be with ....why is there a problem with him spending time with friends that he will soon be leaving behind?

Edited June 3, 2010 by Debora R

[mcconnellboys]

Mine hasn't turned 18 yet, but will still have the same things expected of him even when he does. He has chores to do at home, things to take care of in getting ready for school, and work. We expect him to work more and earn more this summer than last. There's still plenty of time for play.

 

We expect him in the house by 11 if something isn't going on to keep him out later. We definitely expect him in the house by midnight even if they've gone to a late movie. We do not expect aimless casting about to take place. If there's someplace to go and something to do, then we expect to know what it is (dinner then a movie; going to someone's house to visit, etc.) and will call periodically to check in on things, expected arrival time home, etc.

 

Yes, when they go to college and begin living on their own, they will be at liberty to make unwise choices. They will also reap the rewards of those choices. While in my home, however, they will continue to follow my house rules......

[Pamela H in Texas]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

[Jennifer in MI]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

 

This was what my parents always did. There were occasions where I was able to stay out very late. But, I always okayed it with my parents first. Yes, when I went to college I could do whatever I wanted, but my parents weren't up worrying about me. It's a matter of respect, IMHO.

 

BTW - I still do this when I visit. If I go out with friends, I tell my parents when I'll be back. They do the same for me!

[MamaT]

I have one that will be 18 next month, and my 24 year also is living here until he gets married in August. My 17yo (will stay the same when he is 18) has a midnight curfew, although we do make exceptions when there is a reason. My dh says, "If it can't be done before midnight, it doesn't need doing." :001_smile:

 

My 24yo still calls us if he is going to be especially late for some reason, just so we do not worry.

[JFSinIL]

Is he driving? Walking or biking? Getting rides or expecting you to pick him up?

 

He does not have, nor does he want, a license. Other kids are picking him up or he will be using his bike.

[Mynyel]

When I turned 18 my parents lifted my curfew. As long as I came home that night and didn't disrupt anyone they were fine with it. *If* I stayed at a friends they asked me to call and tell them so they didn't freak out when I wasn't there in the morning.

I will do the same with my kids. I found that after my parents lifted my curfew I still didn't stay out late. I had to work and would come home so I could sleep before work.

[PiCO]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

 

This is what my mom did when I was 18. I was supposed to let her know when I got home, so she didn't worry if she woke up in the middle of the night.

 

She went to bed around 10 usually. Once I got home at midnight, and woke her up to let her know I was there. She said, "Pam, don't wake me up any more. Just be home by 6AM so you're here when I wake up."

 

My 16-yo has to be home by 10 this summer, but can get permission to stay out later if she's going to a late movie. I don't think she'll have a curfew when she's 18.

 

I would worry with 18-yo boys though, especially if my child wasn't the one driving. Are you sure the other boys will be sober and not overly reckless drivers?

[Ravin]

He's an adult now. A dependent, yes, but not a child. Do the other adults in your house have a curfew? To me, the important things would be not disturbing the rest of the household --if he's coming home in the wee hours, he needs to do it without waking everyone else--and safety--letting others know where you're going and when you expect to be back. For the latter, if everyone is asleep a note on the fridge or a text message to a phone that won't wake someone should suffice, I'd think.

 

I can think of at least half a dozen things that might keep a young man out past whatever curfew: going to the movies, doing some shopping at the 24 hr wal-mart, going for something to eat at an all-night diner like Denny's or IHOP, or just going for a walk/jog/skate while the temperatures are pleasant (of course, I live in the desert), going/coming from a night owl friend's house, etc.

 

The only situation I've ever experienced where it made sense for a young adult to be saddled with a curfew was the military.

[SproutMamaK]

Not having any kdis even close to that age, all I can speak of from experience is the teenage perspective. I recall staying out until about 2 or 3am a few times at about 17/18. Contrary to popular belief ;) good things CAN happen at that hour. At least twice, we stayed out late, hanging out at a 24 hour coffee shop (or in the parking lot) debating predestination vs. free will, etc. Or just talking about our lives, laughing like crazy, listening to music, etc. It was fun, and a great way to get to know each other better. I learned a lot, not only about my friend, but about how people think and interact. And admittedly, at 18 the "I can't believe I'm staying up until 3am!" aspect of it was appealing. :)

 

If you know (and like) the kids he's going out with, I would let him. He'll appreciate it and have a good time, and get SOMETHING out of it. And IMHO, it will be GOOD for him to have those experiences come college time, because he'll know that he can stay up until 3 am and have a good time, make good friends, and make good choices... WITHOUT getting sucked into the typical college 3am lifestyle. He'll get to experience a wholesome (depending on your point of view, I suppose) alternative that he can appreciate and still feel 'cool' doing, which will help him stand up to the peer pressure of the OTHER 3am options.

 

JMHO.

[mysticamethyst]

I am of the "my house my rules" family. I understand that in 2 months he will be off at college doing his thing and staying out late, but that is in 2 months today is today. There is also the respect issues of disturbing the entire house when he finally decides to roll in. If it were for a job that is a different but this is to go out so I would tell him he can crash at someone else's house on nights he couldn't make it home on time or make him a bed in garage but he will not walk in the door after midnight. Unless a person is working or the occasional late night out I see no reason to be out after 12. I say this as a mother of one approaching 18 but not quite there so I cannot say for certain this is how it will happen but if we face this problem this is my plan. Good luck.

[Julie in CA]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

This is pretty much how it is in our family, except that I have veto power over the really late things, and I sometimes use it. For instance, my oldest ds wanted to go see the midnight showing of a new movie. The theater was almost 1 1/2 hours away, and he was planning on driving home afterwards. Um...no!

 

In the past, my 18yo took advantage of the "open curfew" thing. He could pretty much be home at whatever time he wanted, but he had to let me know ahead what time that would be. He would arrive home late, Every Single Time. Despite repeated warnings, he was still never home when he said he'd be. My solution was to activate the locating service on his cell phone, so when he was late I'd be able to check and see where he was. I told him I was going to do it, and explained why. He didn't like it, and I didn't blame him for not liking it, but he knew why it was going on and how to stop it. It took him about 6 months with the locator to get the hang of being home when he said he'd be (or calling to let me know he'd be late). Happily, we no longer need the tracking on his phone, and now he comes home on time. :party:

[FloridaLisa]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

 

 

 

This is how we've always done it. But have always trusted implicitly my ds, his friends and his choice of activities. Like Julie in CA, though, we do have veto power (i.e. power of reason) and use it when reason (usually our sleep needs! :tongue_smilie: ) dictates. I saw a swell of this activity last week during/after graduation. Now ds is working, up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and I think the problem will resolve itself.

 

Lisa

[Yolanda in Mass]

Not having any kdis even close to that age, all I can speak of from experience is the teenage perspective. I recall staying out until about 2 or 3am a few times at about 17/18. Contrary to popular belief ;) good things CAN happen at that hour. At least twice, we stayed out late, hanging out at a 24 hour coffee shop (or in the parking lot) debating predestination vs. free will, etc. Or just talking about our lives, laughing like crazy, listening to music, etc. It was fun, and a great way to get to know each other better. I learned a lot, not only about my friend, but about how people think and interact. And admittedly, at 18 the "I can't believe I'm staying up until 3am!" aspect of it was appealing. :)

 

If you know (and like) the kids he's going out with, I would let him. He'll appreciate it and have a good time, and get SOMETHING out of it. And IMHO, it will be GOOD for him to have those experiences come college time, because he'll know that he can stay up until 3 am and have a good time, make good friends, and make good choices... WITHOUT getting sucked into the typical college 3am lifestyle. He'll get to experience a wholesome (depending on your point of view, I suppose) alternative that he can appreciate and still feel 'cool' doing, which will help him stand up to the peer pressure of the OTHER 3am options.

 

JMHO.

 

Yes, lots of good things can happen after 1 or even 2am with the right crowd. My soon-to-be 20yos hangs out with a bunch of young adults from church who rarely end the evening before 2am doing exactly the kind of things you describe.They've been know to go to 24 hour Walmarts or Dunkin Donuts (horrors!) or watch G rated movies at church just to hang out together. They do this on weekend, not during the week.

 

We know who he's with and where he is and, therefore, do not have a curfew. Well, we draw the line at after 3am. I can't say that we would be this lenient if we didn't know the who or where, and thank God, we haven't had to deal with that.

 

Yolanda

Edited June 3, 2010 by Yolanda in Mass
clarification

[Liza Q]

He does not have, nor does he want, a license. Other kids are picking him up or he will be using his bike.

 

Well, we are like Pam in Texas

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

but we do have some reasonable restrictions as neither of my girls drive. If they are getting a ride home we need to know the driver - usually it is the parent of a friend so I do not care when they get home. Only two of their friends drive so that has been more rare but I know these kids and I am comfortable with it. I know that they are not out drinking, kwim? But they can't just say that they will get a ride, they have to have a plan.

 

If my husband is picking them up there may be a restriction in the sense of "Dad has to work tomorrow so he is not picking you up after 11pm - be ready!" and they are fine with that as they really appreciate the ride!

 

If they are taking the subway/bus we like them home earlyish, like by 9pm. Our neighborhood is ok but...I don't like them at the subway station or bus stop late. If they were boys they would have a little more freedom here but they agree with us about this so it is not a problem. If they want/need to be out later they need to arrange a ride or ask Dad.

 

Basically, is he safe coming home on his bike late??? Are his friends trustworthy? I would not give him a curfew time as much as I would expect him to plan ahead - better for him and more thoughtful of you. IOW, "Mom, we're going to the park to skateboard, then the mall, a movie or hanging at someone's house, John has his car and he'll get me home and I'll call if it will be later than 12. Yes, my cellphone is charged and I have some $$ but please save me some dinner and I'll clean it up when I'm done." would be enough for me.

[Danestress]

particularly if there are younger children in the house - which I don't think you have, but don't you live with your Mom?

 

Anyway, home and college are different. I tell my son that he is indeed free to do what he wants in college, but that this is a home, not a boarding house, and there are actually rules here in addition to just other people living here. If he wants to get his own place, and pay for it, then of course that is fine. But when you hope to live for free with other people, you have to accept that sacrifices will be involved and any time you live with others, you make sacrifices - particularly if they are footing the bill.

 

I tell him that adults don't move in with other adults and then treat that home like a hotel. If my friends are visiting, they probably would stay at a hotel if they were going to be at a concert until really late. They would not want to disrupt our family. That's how adults are.

 

Your house, your rules. He can get his own house with his own rules when he's ready to do that.

 

My 22 year old understand this and really, our relationship is mostly nice when he comes home because he understands that home is just different. It's cleaner, it has better food, it has people who are kind and polite, and they are all home at a semi-reasonable hour.

[Pamela H in Texas]

And IMHO, it will be GOOD for him to have those experiences come college time, because he'll know that he can stay up until 3 am and have a good time, make good friends, and make good choices... WITHOUT getting sucked into the typical college 3am lifestyle. He'll get to experience a wholesome (depending on your point of view, I suppose) alternative that he can appreciate and still feel 'cool' doing, which will help him stand up to the peer pressure of the OTHER 3am options.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I think this is how much of my discipline all along has been. The goal is to give them a reasonable amount of freedom with guidance and support so they have the skills and concepts down when they are in new situations.

[orangearrow]

. I recall staying out until about 2 or 3am a few times at about 17/18. Contrary to popular belief ;) good things CAN happen at that hour.

 

:iagree: I rarely left the house before 10pm and often came home at 2-3 am. I was a good kid, not getting in to trouble - but those hours were the best part of my day. I'm still a night owl and prefer doing grocery shopping, etc at 1 am vs during the daytime.

 

I don't plan on giving my kids a curfew. We'll have the "let me know where you'll be - let me know if you're going to be late" sorts of family rules of consideration and respect. They'll get a curfew if they can't abide by those rules, though.

 

All their friends will have early curfews, though, so... I doubt they'll be out too late, lol. :001_smile:

 

If we had a small house, or young children still in the house... then I'd reconsider the curfew situation. I wouldn't want an 18 year old dragging himself in the house at 2 am waking up my 3 yo or 8 yo...

[mcconnellboys]

Right. I don't distrust my son in any way whatsoever, but the later he stays out at night, the more dangerous the roads become, particularly on weekends or holidays. He doesn't wear his glasses; he doesn't see that well to drive at night. If there's not a good reason to be out, why dilly-dally about? Why not just come home?

 

If he spends the night with others, they may well stay up all night and that's fine with me if it's okay with those in the house where they are staying.

 

Once he's home, he can stay up all night if he wishes and is not disturbing anyone else. We know he's safe and so we can go to sleep without worry.

 

I think living with others it's just common courtesy to let them know where you're going and when you'll be back. When I go shopping, this son regularly calls me to ask where I am, when I'll be home, etc., LOL. He just wants to know; just as I do with him. He's just checking in and that's what I do, too.

 

One night, LOL, he had several guys staying over at our house. They mostly lived in our neighborhood. At about 1 or 2 in the morning, when they were ready to go to bed, one of them discovered that he'd forgotten his pillow and blanket (or "blanky" as we teased him) that he likes to have to sleep with and so they drove him over to his house to pick it up. The person driving was not from the neighborhood and didn't know which was his house. So he ended up just jumping out of the car and running in, leaving the driver sitting in the middle of the road. A security patrol officer was making rounds and saw all this weirdness, so of course stopped them.

 

He let them go, of course, after they told him their friend had to get his "blanky", LOL. But he offered much derision on the subject, calling him "sissy boy" first..... (This guy is going into Navy ROTC.) If their story hadn't been so obviously true (not to mention weird and entertaining), they would probably have been in trouble. Late night around here police are looking for groups of teen males out to cause trouble, especially in the spring time, near the end of school. I don't want my son risking being accused of something just because he's in the wrong place at the wrong time, late at night. That's the main reason I don't want him out wandering aimlessly - for his own protection.

[Tap]

I didn't have a curfew after about 16-17yo (my senior year) but I was the baby of 5 so my mother was used to teenage freedoms. I don't know what we will do for ds when we get to that point.

 

Even at 15 ds doesn't have a 'curfew' but instead just lets us know what his plans are and when he expects to be home. As long as he is respectful of that, we don't plan to have a specific curfew.

 

I am a late night person and I am usually up until 1am or later so I can see the natural urge to be up late, it is biological to me. :)

[In The Great White North]

DS, off to college in two months, thinks leaving the house at 11 PM to roller blade or otherwise hang out with fellow graduates is fine.

 

Not in my house.

 

 

It's just common courtesy to tell the people with whom you live what time to expect you in.

 

Coming in at all hours will naturally disturb the sleep of the other members of the household and that is not polite so at a minimum I would expect a grown-up level of courtesy from someone claiming to be a grown-up.

 

:iagree: I think it's a matter of manners, not age. When I'm at my Dad's (or MILs), I wouldn't leave at 11pm and I'm 46!

 

And IMHO, it will be GOOD for him to have those experiences come college time, because he'll know that he can stay up until 3 am and have a good time, make good friends, and make good choices... WITHOUT getting sucked into the typical college 3am lifestyle. He'll get to experience a wholesome (depending on your point of view, I suppose) alternative that he can appreciate and still feel 'cool' doing, which will help him stand up to the peer pressure of the OTHER 3am options.

 

:confused: Staying up til 3 am is a required life skill? So he can go to college and stay up til 3 am and think, because he's not high or drunk, it's a good choice?

[Delighted3]

I haven't read the other replies, but with my grown children, I look at it like this. It is common courtesy to let the people you live with know about your coming and goings so they don't worry. If I stayed out all night without telling anyone where I was or when I would be home, they would wonder. My kids know that if they are going to be out past midnight, I better have a phone call telling me where they are and when they will be back. If my 20 yo ds calls and says he is at his friends playing video games and will just crash there and see me in the morning, I am fine with that. I don't expect him to ask me permission, just to let me know as a courtesy. Once they have graduated, I try not to make them feel like they are asking permission to do things, but they understand that I do worry when I don't know where they are.

JMHO,

Joy

[KatieJ]

I haven't read the other replies, but with my grown children, I look at it like this. It is common courtesy to let the people you live with know about your coming and goings so they don't worry. If I stayed out all night without telling anyone where I was or when I would be home, they would wonder. My kids know that if they are going to be out past midnight, I better have a phone call telling me where they are and when they will be back. If my 20 yo ds calls and says he is at his friends playing video games and will just crash there and see me in the morning, I am fine with that. I don't expect him to ask me permission, just to let me know as a courtesy. Once they have graduated, I try not to make them feel like they are asking permission to do things, but they understand that I do worry when I don't know where they are.

JMHO,

Joy

 

:iagree: I am by nature a night person, so I was usually up when they came home. (It became our time to talk if they needed/wanted to.)

If I was going to bed, our system was to leave a light in in the kitchen that I could see from my bedroom. If I woke up and the light was not out, I got up and called their cell phone. That didn't happen often.

[Liza Q]

Once they have graduated, I try not to make them feel like they are asking permission to do things, but they understand that I do worry when I don't know where they are.

 

:iagree:

[katemary63]

Wow, I'm suprised at how many people would impose a curfew on an 18 year old. And I'm usually on the conservative side of these conversations. I've got 3 adult kids, one just 18 1/2. We didn't do curfews after age 18 for any of them. I know they are smart and responsible. I usually know where they are, where they are going and who they are with, but when they come home and even IF they come home is up to them. Sometimes they decide at a late hour to spend the night at a friend's house. I sleep soundly. I guess I've just learned to trust them and God.

 

Now under 18 was very different. We did do a curfew by midnight unless they decided to sleep over at someone else's house. Then, they had to tell me by midnight. But honestly, if your kids can go off to war, they can take care of themselves in their own town, I'm thinking. If I had a trouble maker kid who gave me heart attacks with his/ her behavior, I would have other boundries, no matter what the age, but that doesn't sound like what you're dealing with. A good kid, high school graduate, college bound, who doesn't drink or do drugs should be trusted. They're all grown up now. Go to sleep and see him in the morning! That's what I do! ;)

[Terabith]

Honestly, as a night owl, I think it's fine in and of itself to go out at 11 pm and stay out till 1 or 2 am or so, as long as you know where they are and when they expect to be home. However, if you can't sleep unless he is home, then I think it's reasonable to request that he's home by 1.

 

There is just something very liberating and exciting about being out in the wee hours with your friends, feeling young and independent. Just drinking milkshakes at Denny's at midnight feels very risque and exciting.

[QueenCat]

We don't do curfews for anyone. I guess I could see imposing one if there were an issue, but....

 

Instead, all people are required (which seems harsher than the concept IRL) to let people know where they are, what they are doing, when they'll be back, call if there are plan changes, etc. These are basic issues of safety and respect, IMO. There is no reason to go beyond that.

 

:iagree:That's what my parents did for us, and that is what we do with our kids, even before 18.

[AK_Mom4]

No curfew for my 18yo graduate. But if he is noisy when he gets home in the wee hours of the morning and wakes me up, I usually find I need to vacumn the house right after I have breakfast. He has learned to be quiet coming in.

 

BTW - It's not unual here for all my teens to be running in and out until midnight. We have lots of daylight in the summer, so they are usually playing baseball or frisbee with friends until then. In the winter, not so much of course

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I don't think I'd set a curfew on my 18 year old, as long as they could get in the house without disturbing anyone and didn't expect me to be driving them around. I do agree that he should still tell you where he'll be, who he is with, and what time he'll be home.

 

I'm 24 with a child, and when I come home to my parents I still tell them where I'll be and what time I'll be home! Just out of respect, because I know my parents worry about me. (Also because if we are here and I'm out it means they are babysitting and need that information anyway... :D)

[melissel]

No curfew for my 18yo graduate. But if he is noisy when he gets home in the wee hours of the morning and wakes me up, I usually find I need to vacumn the house right after I have breakfast. He has learned to be quiet coming in.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I'm on the lenient side of this issue, assuming that he won't disturb anyone when he's coming in. Those were the rules in my parents' house when I was growing up, and they worked fine. Many of us worked at evening jobs, so by the time we got home and had something to eat, showered, changed, etc., it was late. But if your DS and his friends are trustworthy, then I'd let it go. We hung out until all hours, and we were never drinking, doing drugs, or doing anything else unsavory. Usually we were parked at the diner or Denny's or rocking on my friend's front porch, talking or playing games. Those were good times, and we were all close friends.

 

I do agree that it's your house, and your rules and comfort take precedence, so you should go with your gut. But it would be OK with me to let him set his own schedule, as long as all responsibilities (job, chores, a quiet return, etc.) were being fulfilled.