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I am angry!


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I have tried not to be, but I am.

 

On Saturday, my son went to play in a soccer game. I know all the moms and when I sat down, one came over next to me and brought her chair. At the time, her son was on the field playing with my son kicking the ball around.

 

As she sat down, she said, "my son is sick as a dog today." She went on to describe that he had a 103.5 fever...but it was okay because he has had motrin. :001_huh: WHAT???

 

I am seriously STILL livid with this mother. Not only did she have a child who was obviously sick out playing a sport (whether he wanted to do so or not is not the point, IMO. He is 6 for goodness sake! She is the parent)!, but she had him out there WITH A FEVER likely infecting other kids. The type A flu has really just hit here where I live in the last 3 weeks or so. We possibly had it several weeks ago...but we weren't tested, so we don't know for sure. This child's fever could very well NOT be that, but come on! Why take a chance???

 

What I do know is that both the coach AND the mother acted selfishly and let the child play. Her excuse, "Oh...he never gets all that sick. He will be fine by tomorrow." GREAT...but what about the immunocompromised little girl on our team? What about MY child who has already been sick and likely still isn't up to snuff to fight something off so easily from the last go-round. I am just so mad! And I can't seem to get over it. I am really considering just letting him quit the team. If the coach and parent have no more respect for the other players than that, I don't want to be part of that team!

 

GAH! Someone...talk me down! :chillpill:

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These parents are the reason I avoid team sports. I'm sorry. I just cannot deal with that kind of thing.

 

My 6 year old dd is in my bed right now with a 103.5 fever and I cannot imagine having her play any kind of sport. She spent the day laying on the couch watching movies.

 

I'm so sorry.

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Wait, are you saying that the coach new he had a fever? That's absurd! I wouldn't make your son quit but I would speak to the coach about making it clear to parents that children with symptoms 24 hours prior or less should not be present at practice or games. If you don't get a response from the coach that is reasonable I would take it to the league organizers.

 

I have a friend that takes her dc anywhere and everywhere when they have fevers and fortunately I don't cross paths w/her anymore. I don't understand what parents are thinking sometimes. :confused:

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wow. I'm not going to talk you down. I can't imagine allowing a kid to play with that high a fever. I also can't imagine not considering getting others sick. Unfortunately, I deal with this ALL THE TIME. Even when my VERY WEAK mother was still alive, people would show up and only THEN tell me they were sick. Heck, once you're in the house, we've been exposed so go ahead and grab a chair. :glare:

 

That poor kid. I hate to judge, but I don't understand a mother letting her kid play soccer while that sick.

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Oh, it gets worse. Her line of work is with children (I hate to give too much info on a msg board) where the policy is "if kids have a fever, they go home." She made the rule. She OWNS the establishment. Okay for her business and the kids she is responsible for - to HECK with the kids she isn't. I am telling you...I AM LIVID.

 

Oh...and the coach knew FULL WELL. And the coach's wife is a nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I'd have to call her on it. Ask her why the double standard? Your kid not important enough to protect? Okay if yours gets sick?

 

Or just a simple "What the hell, you don't mind infecting the whole team? Wow, how selfish can you get?"

 

 

I actually said something similar! LOL She told me about the fever and my response was, "YOU ARE KIDDING ME! So you brought him here to infect everyone else??? You know we are all going to get sick now, right????" She didn't speak to me the rest of the game. I really don't care if she ever speaks to me again! If my kid gets sick, I won't be very nice the next time I see her! :cursing:

 

Everytime I think about it, I get more and more angry. I mean, okay, my kids will be exposed. I get that. But, for someone to KNOWINGLY and willingly bring a very sick child to interact with other kids in a sport setting - especially the one child who is immunocompromised. I just can't get past it. It makes me furious!

Edited by Tree House Academy
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Oh, it gets worse. Her line of work is with children (I hate to give too much info on a msg board) where the policy is "if kids have a fever, they go home." She made the rule. She OWNS the establishment. Okay for her business and the kids she is responsible for - to HECK with the kids she isn't. I am telling you...I AM LIVID.

 

Oh...and the coach knew FULL WELL. And the coach's wife is a nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WOW!!!! Honestly, what can ANYONE say to that? They're obviously very selfish people. I don't get it.

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And....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wait for it......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wait....

 

 

 

 

SHE HOMESCHOOLS!

 

I mean, I know that peole who have kids in ps get that mentality sometimes, but HOMESCHOOLERS? Really? My kids had something pretty mild in comparison to the flu my older had in 2003 and I still kept them home for a WEEK....mostly because I CAN and it is the right thing to do. I guess, for some reason, I just expect homeschoolers to not have that ps "work through the fever cause I need a babysitter" mentality. :( And no offense meant to any ps mom who doesn't feel that way. I know I never did when my oldest was in ps. But there is no denying that SOME parents do seem to think that way...

Edited by Tree House Academy
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Look, I don't usually ask this but.......

 

Is she daft? I'm really trying to understand the thinking behind disclosing a medicated fever to a mom with present kids. Both the act of letting a high fevered kid play organized sports *and* telling the moms seem...really, really, really dumb.

 

Does she think that if the symtoms are mitigated through meds they are somehow not commicable?

 

I'd file a serious complaint against her and the Coach.

 

There is a (sad) joke in the daycare industry about the sudden onset of fever 3.45 hours after drop off. :001_huh::lol:

 

It used to really bug me. But then I began to see the complex work situations of some of my parents, usually the Moms (even if they were married and both worked 95% of my moms took care of the sick issues).

 

But an extracurricular? Are you serious? If you weren't you, OP, I'd suspect troll. That's how absurd it is. And I'm not a bubble mom, germ phobe, hyper about illness type.

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I can't imagine my kid wanting to play soccer that sick even if I said it was okay (which I obviously wouldn't). It can be a struggle just to get them to go out to the grocery store for necessities when they are really under the weather.

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Terrible! You should be mad, but I would not let your son quit the team over it. The selfish inconsiderateness of some people is over the top. And on top of that she could have been compromising her own son further. Has she not heard of dehydration with fever? :glare: And she allowed her child to play a sport with this condition? Crazy!

 

I think when the coach realized should have made the call and said the child should go home and was not able to play today. That is the obvious response when taking into account the health of your whole team and I think just general so called etiquette.

 

Sorry! I am probably fueling you more! Germs and sickness inconsideration is something that really fuels my fire as well, as you can tell by my extremely long post. But do raise the concern with the coach for future policy. Hope your son stays well. And try to :chillpill: has hard as I am sure it is!

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LOL! You all crack me up!

 

I wish I WAS just a troll in this one. I'd rather be that than have kids with the flu in 3-5 days. :(

 

I really couldn't believe it myself. It was like disclosing it made her feel better. I was sitting there when she told the coach's nurse wife. Wife said, "well, does he feel okay to play?" WTH??????? I told dh and we considered pulling ds out of the game and leaving...however, my older son was playing a game too that day, so we were torn. In hindsight, we should have left!

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I think when the coach realized should have made the call and said the child should go home and was not able to play today. That is the obvious response when taking into account the health of your whole team and I think just general so called etiquette.

 

 

 

See, this is part of what "gets" me. I mean, the mother was a total moron for 1. having her son play with him running a temp - for HIS safety, 2. having him spread it around to other kids when I KNOW she knows better. Her line of work is nothing but kids. She knows they spread germs with fever!...but then I am dealing with the coach who is obviously nutso as well for not putting a stop to it and pulling him from the game. I look at BOTH for blame in the situation.

 

Of course, blame doesn't help if the kids get sick. Honestly, I am LESS worried about my own kids and more worried about the child who is immunocompromised. She was having trouble that day - and being exposed on top of that could be terrible for that family. I just pray it wasn't the flu he had (a random 103.5 degree fever, I guess) and that it wasn't contagious and that the other kids didn't get anything. Blah!

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As the mother of an immuno-compromised child, I have no intentions of talking you out of your anger. A fever = STAY HOME AND AWAY FROM OTHERS. People are dying from the flu going around. Pregnant women who contract H1N1 are getting quite sick from it, and not only risking their lives but their unborn children as well. A soccer team of 6 years is very likely to have women of childbearing age with kids on the team that have been potentially exposed. I'm not an alarmist by any means, but some common sense needs to be exercised here. Motrin doesn't give you a magical fairy bubble that surrounds you and protects others from your germies, fer cryin' out loud.

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I had a friend that we met at her house for a home church type thing and her kids went to ps. We would all go over there on the weekend and then find out that the kids had been sick. One time they had even had a stomach virus. I told her that she needed to open up her windows and air out the house to try to get the germs out, but she didn't want to. I can't remember her reason. We were sick for 3 months straight when we were going over there. When we finally stopped going we all stayed well. It was ridiculous.

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As the mother of an immuno-compromised child, I have no intentions of talking you out of your anger. A fever = STAY HOME AND AWAY FROM OTHERS. People are dying from the flu going around. Pregnant women who contract H1N1 are getting quite sick from it, and not only risking their lives but their unborn children as well. A soccer team of 6 years is very likely to have women of childbearing age with kids on the team that have been potentially exposed. I'm not an alarmist by any means, but some common sense needs to be exercised here. Motrin doesn't give you a magical fairy bubble that surrounds you and protects others from your germies, fer cryin' out loud.

 

I can't think, right off hand, of any pregnant moms on OUR team....but there are moms of very young children and babies. We played another team - none of which were any the wiser of this child's illness and there very well could have been pregnant moms on that team. This child got in line and touched every kid's hand at the end of the game (you know, the "good game" lineup thing?). MY son was behind him, so he touched every hand right after this kid. My dh hand sanitized the crap out of him! LOL Oh...and as an added bonus, the kids all had snack after the hand thing. :glare: It really gets worse everything I type something else, doesn't it. And I just get more and more pissed.

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I actually said something similar! LOL She told me about the fever and my response was, "YOU ARE KIDDING ME! So you brought him here to infect everyone else??? You know we are all going to get sick now, right????" She didn't speak to me the rest of the game. I really don't care if she ever speaks to me again! If my kid gets sick, I won't be very nice the next time I see her! :cursing:

 

Good for you!

Everytime I think about it, I get more and more angry. I mean, okay, my kids will be exposed. I get that. But, for someone to KNOWINGLY and willingly bring a very sick child to interact with other kids in a sport setting - especially the one child who is immunocompromised. I just can't get past it. It makes me furious!

ITA! :cursing:
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Of course, blame doesn't help if the kids get sick. Honestly, I am LESS worried about my own kids and more worried about the child who is immunocompromised. She was having trouble that day - and being exposed on top of that could be terrible for that family. I just pray it wasn't the flu he had (a random 103.5 degree fever, I guess) and that it wasn't contagious and that the other kids didn't get anything. Blah!

 

see, that is what people REALLY need to understand. I have a friend who almost died from a virus settling in her heart valves. She had to have them replaced at age 36 and she almost died two years ago. The doctors told her to STAY AWAY from ANYONE who was sick. People in church KNEW that but still went to church sick. She used to get SO upset.

 

now I have an idea for the next game. Eat a large meal before the game. Sit next to her. Take a swig of syrup of ipecac. Once the contents of your stomach are on the ground by her, or even some of it ON her, tell her you're sorry and you truly hope she doesn't get sick. Tell her it's the worst stomach virus you've EVER had and unfortunately it's HIGHLY contagious. :D

 

Now that's really awful.

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I had a friend that we met at her house for a home church type thing and her kids went to ps. We would all go over there on the weekend and then find out that the kids had been sick. One time they had even had a stomach virus. I told her that she needed to open up her windows and air out the house to try to get the germs out, but she didn't want to. I can't remember her reason. We were sick for 3 months straight when we were going over there. When we finally stopped going we all stayed well. It was ridiculous.

 

this is what made me mad. My mother was very weak and we have a crowd of people here once a month (home church with rotating homes) and I couldn't believe how many people came over sick one time. When I spoke to them during the week and told them my mother was very sick, it didn't register. We had to tell everyone that my mother was very weak (I guess the fact that I used a machine to get her out of her wheelchair wasn't proof, and neither was the fact that I had to feed her and give her fluids) and that if anyone was sick they had to stay home. I felt personally responsible the times mom got sick from friends I had in the house! :mad:

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Some people just don't GET IT, do they?

 

Seriously...it's plain irresponsibility and bad parenting like this that really torks my jaw!:glare:

 

If a child is SICK keep him/her home! And if you are the coach of a child who is sick, tell the parent(s) to take him/her home!

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I wouldn't try to discuss this with the mom in question unless it's someone you have a real relationship with. I just doubt you would get anywhere.

 

It might be worth talking to the coach about:

1) reminding families that kids who are/have recently been sick should be home to make a full recovery, not on the field getting sicker/infecting the other players

2) replacing the hand slap tradition with some other "good game" symbol that offers more social distancing

 

Don't make it a can-you-believe-what-she-did issue. Just approach the coach gently. To cut both the parents and coach some slack, some people only think abou how they would be letting the team down, not how they might be putting the team at risk. And it would take a lot of confidence for a coach to look at the parent of a dressed out kid and tell her to take him back home.

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That is the only plus to having moved to a place where my youngest has private coaching for gymnastics- NO SICKOS!!

 

There were 2 sisters at our old gym who were always sick, and their parents ALWAYS brought them. "OH, Sara just threw up, but I don't think she should go home, I mean, she seems fine now..." WHAT!? And invariably it was my DD who would get the bug 2 days before the big meet, they were over it by then.

 

Of course, the general assumption is that a child should compete, sick or not, so it isn't like they were the only ones. In truth, we were the weird ones for NOT practicing sick. So talking to the coach will possibly get you exactly...nowhere.

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I actually said something similar! LOL She told me about the fever and my response was, "YOU ARE KIDDING ME! So you brought him here to infect everyone else??? You know we are all going to get sick now, right????" She didn't speak to me the rest of the game. I really don't care if she ever speaks to me again! If my kid gets sick, I won't be very nice the next time I see her! :cursing:

 

 

 

Good for you! She and the coach were out of line.

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I have to confess that this one always leaves me scratching my head too. I don't get it. I don't understand why people take kids out when they are sick. The kid is sick!! They aren't going to be able to enjoy whatever it is they are at because they are sick! When my dd was born my inlaws all came over after I got out of the hospital to see her. Back then, they still kicked you out of the hopsital after 24 hours so my baby was just a day old. The in laws all came over to see her and were touching her hands (naturally they always touch the baby's hands) and they had their faces covered with a handkerchief. I asked them what the deal was with the handkerchief, their reply? "Oh we're all sick." and with fevers too! I almost freaked out! My mom was with me and told them to leave and come back when they were well as the baby was susceptible to illness. They still hold a grudge against my mother to this day! Go figure! :rolleyes:

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It is just as some one else said pure selfishness. I live in a little town where the average age is 60+ I have watched so many older people get a cold or flu and never bounce back. Our town's little grocery store didn't used to give sick leave and the workers would come in sick (because they had to). We had a huge rash of senior death -- I am talking in a town of 1300 six deaths in one week. The health department convinced him to at least not punish or fire workers that took off when they were sick. This is a little grocery with the deli and meat department. Just what you want is people breathing germs on your food! Yuck!

 

BTW Does the coach not realize that he is legally responsible for this kid and the any other child that gets sick. It could have real legal consequences. especially with all the health notices about the swine flue this year. As for the mom some one should tell her the Child protective folks consider this kind of behavior as child-endangerment. CPS can take a thing like that and use it to take the kids away. I know of cases like it. Not a thing she really wants to find herself messed up with!

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I just feel for the poor little boy. I am sure he wasn't feeling all the great. Then again once the meds hit I am sure he was feeling fine but still shouldn't be playing. Shame on the mom for allowing her son to go and shame on the coach to allow him to still play. Just shows that there are good coaches and bad coaches. Last year my oldest had a crap coach and this year she has a good one.

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Ummm....wow. I don't even have any words. She's really got to be nuts, right?

 

If that was MY kid, they would be in bed for the day! Shoot, if my kids even have a bad cold, I keep them out of the nursery at church so I do not expose other children. And honestly, even if she is not concerned for the well-being of other children on the team, why would she risk having her son out there and potentially having him pass out or something due to exerting himself when he's obviously very sick? Looks like she doesn't even have any concern for her own son either.

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To be honest, the coach doesn't have any authority. I coached YMCA preschool soccer and I have no idea what I would have done in this situation. As a coach, you're stuck because the parents are there and they're supposed to handle their kids' needs and behavior. You can't really do anything if the parents aren't in agreement. The most you can do is let him play one quarter and then say that he seems a bit off today, why don't you sit with your mom and drink some water. If you tell someone to go home because they're sick, the parents can complain to the league and you have that can of worms on your hands. I'm so glad my kids are all older and the dads do most of the coaching now.

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You know, one time I decided to ask, why. I knew the person well enough and she had brought an obviously VERY sick child to a class where my kids were also in. I asked why did you bring him if he is sick? Her response was, "He has been in the house for two days, he is driving me crazy, I figured he would enjoy a change af scenery." I said, " Well I hope my kids don't get sick, we are leaving on a trip in a few days." Her respone, "Don't worry it dosent last long, just a few days". WHAT!:glare: That was the last time I spoe to this woman.

The. Last Time.

 

I think it's plain old selfish, my husband always asks, "Are they to sick to go to grandmas?" Because if you wouldn't bring them around grandma then they shouldn't be around anyone. We absoloutly love grandma, she is 89 and smart as a whip!

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All of my kids, dh & myself have had some sort of illness over the past month. A couple of the kids have gotten sick more than once during that time, and for one of them it was a church activity where they picked it up both times. I decided to keep them all home during the week it was heavy here and even after so they would not infect others.

 

Our neighbor's dd got the flu. It wasn't swine flu at least. I saw the mom when I was walking one morning and she told me that the child had gone to the doc the day before and had received treatment. I saw the child and she looked like she felt terrible. We kind of have an open-door policy at our home, and many of the neighborhood kids will come down and knock and come on in (most of them are small kids). Later that very day that child comes waltzing in my door. I couldn't believe the mom let her do that. I had just told the woman how we were struggling to get all the germs out of our home, she knows I'm pregnant, etc. I kindly told all the kids to go outside. I just don't get the thought process that just doesn't care if your kid gets others sick.

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This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Around here, hospitals as of today are banning all visitors under the age of 14, unless is is a life or death situation. A friend of mine is really upset about it because her older child will not be allowed to visit her baby when it is born this month. I tried to explain to her that it is because of people like this who will not listen to warnings to not bring sick kids into that environment.

 

We were at a Christmas party once and a little ways down our table threw up pretty early in the party. He was visibly ill and the parents stayed throughout the remainder of the party so he could get his gift. I was so angry and sure enough, my kids ended up with stomach virus and I caught it on Christmas Eve. Ruined our Christmas because they were too selfish to take their kid home after he became sick or keeping him home in the first place if he felt ill that morning.

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I agree with all of you... my question is...

 

WHY would she TELL you she had dosed him?

 

If she is not above doing all the wrong things, not caring about her child and others.... why spill the beans? Why wouldn't she keep her mouth shut and hope no one caught anything or be able to blame it on another source.

 

Sorry, she is all around DUMB.

 

I would think if a person is that selfish, they would also be deceitful enough to keep it on the *down low*. At least you will know who to scream at in a few days.

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:glare:

 

This brought back some memories of my childhood... We lived in a high-rise apartment building in Germany. There was a common area outside where we children would play. Every family but ONE would keep their kids in when they were sick. The mom from this one family would sometimes casually mention to my mom that her kids all had fevers (while they're running around with everyone outside!) but that she couldn't bear to keep them inside, because they were too cramped there. So, guess who had to stay inside and be "cramped" whenever these kids were sick? :glare: (A couple of years ago, my mom mentioned that the father of this family struck her as having a "God's gift to the world" type of mentality, and that he seemed to see his children in the same light. The family finally moved out of the complex when they had too many children to comfortably live there anymore.)

 

I sure hope nobody from the team gets sick from this mother's obvious lack of responsibility. :angry:

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I am so glad to see that it is not just ME. My dh said that she surely wasn't the only parent to take out a sick kid and the kids would have been exposed anyway at some point. Fine. I get that, I do. But this situation just made me sick. I would have felt much better getting the kids sick at the grocery store, or the pharmacy, but the freaking soccer field? This mom had an OPTION in this case. I will tell you that we are not going to practice this week. If this mother is so stupid as to bring him at the beginning of the illness to a game, then I have no doubt she will bring him 3 days later to practice (when he is likely to still be running fever and still be sick if it was the flu).

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This mom had an OPTION in this case.

 

This is what really gets me. I've sometimes had to take my kids out to the grocery or somewhere similar when they were sick (with instructions every 10 seconds not to touch, look at, or breathe on anything!:lol:). In those cases I really had no choice - the trip had to be made, and there was no one to stay home with them. But when you have an optional activity - one that isn't even all that important- Stay home!

 

Some people really just don't get it. Of course, I probably tick people off because if my kids have a normal cold I will take them places. Not if they have heavy congestion/hacking/etc though.

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My first reaction would be outrage that she was knowingly exposing my kid to illness - he has an immunodeficiency to start with. My second reaction would be outrage that she put her own child at risk by allowing the child to engage in strenuous physical activity with a high fever. And in my book at least, 103 or higher is HIGH!

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My first reaction would be outrage that she was knowingly exposing my kid to illness - he has an immunodeficiency to start with. My second reaction would be outrage that she put her own child at risk by allowing the child to engage in strenuous physical activity with a high fever. And in my book at least, 103 or higher is HIGH!

 

That's me...I can't figure out which one makes me more angry! So I am just angry at both! LOL

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Seriously, the stupidity, inconsiderateness, and complete abject disregard for others is what just makes me throw up my hands and want to cry!!

 

How do people live with themselves -- REALLY????

 

I am sitting here today with my 2nd child sick in the last week. 2 days ago she spiked a fever of 103 and has been in bed since. No way has she been allowed to attend ANYTHING (nor would she have really felt like it). She has dance tomorrow evening but will NOT be going because at this moment she still has a low grade fever and that makes her unable to participate tomorrow night -- NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!!!

 

On top of that, this past weekend I was going to visit a family of a child who is at our local children's hospital from out of town. I realized that I had one kid who had been spiking fevers and then I have another one who spiked a fever. There is NO WAY I was going to walk into the ICU area of a children's hospital carrying my family's germs along with me (even though I don't feel the least bit ill)!!! I feel so very sorry for those families there that have kids getting even sicker in the hospital because people are so ignorant and won't stay away when there is even the THREAT of carrying something in.

 

Sorry, just had to vent. I seriously don't know how I'd be able to be around that mom again.

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I am so glad to see that it is not just ME. My dh said that she surely wasn't the only parent to take out a sick kid and the kids would have been exposed anyway at some point. Fine. I get that, I do. But this situation just made me sick. I would have felt much better getting the kids sick at the grocery store, or the pharmacy, but the freaking soccer field? This mom had an OPTION in this case. I will tell you that we are not going to practice this week. If this mother is so stupid as to bring him at the beginning of the illness to a game, then I have no doubt she will bring him 3 days later to practice (when he is likely to still be running fever and still be sick if it was the flu).

No, you are absolutely not the only one. I had to tell a parent at our co-op last year exactly why it was not ok to expose her children to chicken pox, then bring them to co-op. It was another BOARD MEMBER! (Who also told people it was fine to bring their feverish, nauseous kids when asked about the sick policy!) And we had to go back and forth about whether they would be contagious, blah, blah... she ended up snippily agreeing that if I was going to "overreact" that much, she wouldn't, but just to appease me. At the time, we had one family with newborn twins (they didn't attend, but their sisters did), a couple living with/visiting elderly relatives, and at least one kid with significant immune compromise... Uh, hello? :banghead: :cursing:

Some people are just self-centered idiots.

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