UPDATE: My son, the school, and why I am a BAD MOM.

[Heather in Neverland]

I can't believe how badly I have misjudged this whole thing.

 

I can't believe that I actually thought my son had "outgrown" his special needs. Maybe that is just what I wanted to believe, ya know? I just wanted him to feel "normal"...whatever that means.

 

It's not like we kept him locked in a cage. He had tons of social situations but now that I look back I realize that the majority were never more than an hour at a time. So to us, he didn't have special needs, he was just our son.

 

He's a really smart kid and we have never worried about him academically and for that I am grateful. But ever since starting school here his sensory issues and anxiety are at an all-time high. For instance, this week the school does MAP testing. Kyle took the math yesterday and reading today. Both days he was the last one to finish long after the other kids were done and both days he left the test in tears.

 

And both days his scores were great :confused: (he is in 6th grade and he scored 8th grade level in math and 11th grade level in reading). But he was slow because the test anxiety coupled with almost uncontrollable distractibility nearly crippled his testing.

 

So now I have objective proof and not just a mommy's opinion that my kid is smart. But he is an emotional basketcase and seems to be reverting back to some things we haven't seen from him in years (stuttering again, is "itchy" all over, clumsiness is worsening, nervous tics, etc, etc).

 

He use to get pretty intensive OT when he was young. But, and please don't laugh at me, I thought in the back of my mind that homeschoolng had pretty much cured him when all it did was mask his issues. So now I am back at step one and I want to CRY!!!

 

I did have a talk with the special services director and he has pleaded with me not to pull Kyle from school even for half the day. He wants a chance to work with him (he knows a lot about SID). He gave me a long list of ideas, suggestions, modifications, etc., that he could put into place to help Kyle manage his day. And he is the one who suggested the equestrian therapy idea I posted about earlier.

 

I am just so mad at myself. I should have kept up on therapy all this time but instead I stupidly thought he was pretty much "all better now". :banghead:

 

And now I have this child who desperately wants to fit in and just is falling apart at the seams and I'm in a country where there are NO decent OT's. I am so grateful that the school is willing to bend over backward for my kid but right now I feel really sad, and mad, and just...I don't know...

 

facing up to my denial sucks.

[specialmama]

:grouphug: praying for a quick solution, Heather.

Was one of the modifications suggested noise-blocking earphones? Perhaps if he had those on during work time, he could manage with them off for lectures and class discussions? My son uses them and it is amazing the transformation he undergoes! When he has the earphones on, he is able to sit without fidgiting and really concentrate for about 20 minutes. He's like a different kid. It's so easy to implement and could show drastic improvement right away. Just a thought. Hang in there mom, you're not a bad mommy at all! Just a hopeful one, and who could blame you for having hope? :grouphug:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Please don't feel so badly! It's so hard for us to view our kids objectively, and it's even harder to anticipate how they will handle new situations. My older ds is still young, and I keep telling myself that things are getting better, too. I afterschool for many reasons, but for him, it's mostly because he seems to be doing better socially in school (I do have to agree with dh on that). He has so many hang-ups with sensory issues, and I'm not really sure why, but he seems to handle them so much better since going to school. Sometimes he still has breakdowns at school, but he usually saves them for home now. It was an adjustment, but preschool got him ready, and after many problems and interventions, he really enjoyed preschool. I thought we might have to pull him out of kindergarten after an especially bad breakdown when he thought some girl was getting on the wrong bus, and when he wouldn't write his name inside of a box (which they had to do on their journals every day.), but he eventually worked through those things, too.

 

My point is, although I know I'm not making it well, is that maybe you should just give him a chance. Deal with the problems at hand with help from the teachers, but let him try to work it out for a little longer. If it doesn't improve any, then you can still pull him out.

 

I'm sorry you feel so overwhelmed right now. I hope it gets better for you.

[Tammy]

We ALL do what WE think is best for our children....and no one can deny YOU of that! You sound like a GREAT mom.....so don't beat yourself up! Go with your heart....and do what you think is best!

 

Here are a couple of hugs for you...and believe me....I don't pass out hugs too often (ok...maybe I never have, LOL) :grouphug::grouphug:

 

.

[TraceyS/FL]

:grouphug:

 

I can so relate, but on the flip side - we haven't need a diagnosis until now because it was somewhat controllable at home. But enter the STBXH thinking the child should all of a sudden be in PS - and i knew that would bring out HUGE issues for her.

 

Hopefully you can get a plan of action that works for him (and you) and get back on the path to smooth sailing. Can you get the OUt of Sync Child has Fun and build a sensory diet from that?

 

Hang in there chicky - we are here to help! :grouphug:

 

(and my DD soooo wants to do the horse therapy)

[Avila]

:grouphug:

 

Of course you aren't a bad mom. As long as he was homeschooling, your son was receiving the accommodations necessary to manage his issues. That is exactly the same thing you are doing now -- finding the right accommodations to manage those issues in a different environment. Situations change all the time, and the skills necessary to function in an all-day group setting are not the same ones necessary to manage in a homeschool. You have obviously taken care of the academic stuff well, and I am sure that you had to experiment there at first to figure out how he learns and help him progress. Now you need to do the same thing for a group situation. It is a different skill set, and he will learn it. We just can't completely anticipate for any of our children what the future holds and completely prepare them for it. It sounds like you and the school are both committed to doing everything you can for him, and that is all anyone can ask of you anyhow. I find with my special needs DD that guilt is always there for things I could have done differently, but you have to focus on the now with them. They are always going to have challenges that others don't have, and all you can do is address those as you need to and as they come up. This isn't your fault.

 

Best wishes!

[TammyinTN]

You are so definitely NOT a bad mom. Hang in there!!!:grouphug::grouphug:

[Heather in Neverland]

:grouphug:

 

 

Can you get the OUt of Sync Child has Fun and build a sensory diet from that?

 

)

 

Now I am forced to admit the most embarassing part of this whole thing. I had that book and her other one and a host of other books about SID for adults and kids and I gave tham all way!!!!! Why you ask? Because I am a moron and I thought I don't need them anymore! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

[Jan in SC]

I happen to be taking 2 children to OT today. We have a wonderful clinic that deals with both typical OT/PT and sensory. Would you like me to see if someone can help you by emailing and/or videoing with you?

[TraceyS/FL]

Now I am forced to admit the most embarassing part of this whole thing. I had that book and her other one and a host of other books about SID for adults and kids and I gave tham all way!!!!! Why you ask? Because I am a moron and I thought I don't need them anymore! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!

 

Tsk tsk, STOP beating yourself up.

 

I deserve that task - loaned my WTM to a mom at gym thinking about HSing and thte next week her DD cut her head open and they haven't been back. HMPH. I want my book! :tongue_smilie:

 

It's simple to get them back (are they on the kindle?) and then go from there. Like someone said up a few posts - you are bad, you were accommodating - you just didn't know how much until the situation changed.

 

I would try the noise canceling headphones though, nice and easy and quick to see if they help.

 

My DD's list of accomidations includes the removal of time limits for testing and assignments, and/or assigning small chunks. If the teacher is willing to work with you on this (gee, i'd like to think you'd have some pull) that also might help. Rather than saying - 1-30 is the assignment, perhaps he/she could say, 1-10 for class time. Then assign the rest?

 

I can so relate to the overload though - i know how my DD would react and it wouldn't be pretty.... and it's hard to see that happening to your child.

 

BUT, you can work thru this.... :grouphug:

[Susu]

Us moms are so hard on ourselves when it comes to our children...

 

Look at all the good you have done for him...his testing shows you did a great job on the academics for one thing!

 

And who knows all the good those years in homeschool did for his other issues? All you are seeing now is a reaction from going to a totally different environment. It is important that these issues come out so that he can learn tools for dealing with changes. In fact, I am wondering if you haven't caught him at a PERFECT time...6th grade is a whole new thing for all kids...and they all have to learn new skill sets at that age. He will look at his therapy from a new, more mature angle. It is likely that even if he went to a public school all his life he would have had issues moving into middle school.

 

We all have to make adjustments as we go...moms included. We do the best we can with the information we have on hand. And like I said...maybe your assuming that he was all better built up some latent confidence in him that will come back to help him immensely in the years to come!

 

Susu

[Dayle in Guatemala]

:grouphug:Heather:grouphug:

 

I know how you must be feeling--I had some issues with my ds's reading and had to deal with it here in Guatemala. God was faithful, and He helped me and placed people in my path who really knew what to do eventhough they weren't "specialists". The thing is, he probably should have had help earlier and I was kicking myself that I had just kept thinking "He'll read when he's ready."

 

First of all, don't look back, it's not worth it and it won't change anything. Be proactive and get whatever help you can for him. Pulling him for part of the day may not be a good solution, just wait and see what can be done for him in the school. Don't be tempted to be reactionary--I know from experience that it really slows things down!

 

I will be praying for you and your ds. I'm sure that God has an answer already on the way. He called you all there and He knew all that was happening and was going to happen. He loves your son. He loves you--you're a fantastic mom!

[gingersmom]

I want to give you a big cyber hug!!!!

 

You are an amazing mom!!! I hope all the other mothers/fathers/grandparents read your post.

 

You realized your son had an issue that needed to be addressed and you got him the help he needed.

 

Many kids age out of therapy and then need to revisit previous therapies as they get older and change and have different situations they are involved in.

 

You are in a foreign country and your son is back in a school setting. Many adults would have trouble handling that situation.

 

Take a deep breath. Have your son take a deep breath. It will all work out.

Edited September 8, 2009 by gingersmom
.

[chiguirre]

A couple of points to think about. Perhaps your ds took so long on the test because he was performing at a higher level. Even if that's not the case, I really wouldn't worry about it if the test isn't timed. It was designed to allow kids to take as much time as needed and still be normed.

 

Second, school is the most stressful place on earth for a kid with sensory issues. As an adult, we rarely have to be in such a structured setting for so many hours at a time surrounded by so many people so close to you with so little control over lighting and sound stimuli. Not even university is like that. I'd ask your ds what he wants to do. If he wants to give it a try, perhaps he could make a list of the 3 biggest sensory issues and you could try to address those. If he's still stressed, repeat the process. Eventually he'll be better able to deal with school. At least he won't have academic issues in the meantime and he can focus on learning how to function with so many distractions. It might be tough, but it will set him on the road to greater success later.

[Nakia]

Oh sweet Heather, you are a wonderful mother!!! You and your son have placed together by God, and you are the perfect mother for him! It will be ok!! :grouphug::grouphug:

[Scuff]

On the bright side, if you were still in MI, you'd still be hsing and still not know that he had issues. :) Now you're at a school with people who are willing to work with him and help him and if need be, you can go back to hsing no harm done. :) Hang in there, you're doing fine.

[Remudamom]

I'm no good at mushy stuff, so stop beating yourself up or I'll be forced to slap you.

 

Shall I check prices for sending one of my ponies overseas for your son?

[Tutor]

Can you send the word out to the missionary community that you need an OT to consult for you? There may be a trained OT out there disguised as a missionary's wife ;)

 

This is an excellent idea! Many missionaries train for work in medicine and civil engineering jobs so they have more physically practical skill before going into the field. A friend of ours just came home on leave from Uganda, he is trained in well-drilling and basic construction and his wife [drumroll please] is trained in OT and is an RN as well. You never know who could be out there!

[BamaTanya]

Oh, I know that place, too. We didn't understand how very much we were accommodating ds until we took him to school and saw, for the first time, what a fish-out-of-water he was. Because he grew and was taught for years in our home, the climate had developed around him and his needs. I kwym!

 

Now you have more information. Now you can work out your plan to work through the issues that have arisen in this new environment. Now you can identify who is on the team to help or if you need a new environment altogether. Be patient with yourself. :grouphug:

[Stacy in NJ]

Even if you had kept up with his OT he may still not of been "cured". OT is an imperfect remedy and doesn't resolve all issues.

[Chris in VA]

Heather,

 

Remember what I said way long ago, about being prepared to watch God work? Sounds to me like he's working pretty well--both in your life and in your son's.

 

You will be fine, and so will he. Better to be in the light.

:grouphug:

[Mabelen]

You are a great mom! Please, do not second guess yourself, you are doing a great job, although it is hard to see your kid struggle like that. My oldest dd has always had minor sensory issues and these always agravate at the beginning of the school year, because the teachers and the expectations are new, but they ease off as she gets settled into the routine and she rises to the occasion. All the best.

[calandalsmom]

It sounds to me like you enabled your son to thrive while homeschooling and decreased his stressors. He probably did progress as a result!

 

Now he is entering a new phase and surely you will continue to help him cope in whatever ways are available to him and to you, as you have in the past!

[Carol in Cal.]

You interpreted the information that you had, and you acted accordingly.

 

Now you have some new information, and you're acting accordingly.

 

That is what a good parent does!

 

From the sound of it, it has been a wonderful thing for your son to have been homeschooled all this time. How great that you did that.

 

Now you have to decide whether to homeschool more, or try to use your existing resources there. You have figured that out in a fairly short time, and now you're proceeding to act.

 

Again, that is what a good parent does!

 

You've gotten a lot of great suggestions here.

 

I think that it's amazing and wonderful that you are at a private school with a special needs staff. I don't know of any such thing here--most of our private schools locally discourage special needs students from attending at all. You also know how much your son has already learned, to some extent, using benchmarked, objective testing. I'm not a big fan of emphasizing testing, but I do believe that most of the time no one can do well on a standardized test by accident. They can do badly any number of ways--through lack of knowledge of the material, or through tensions, text taking anxiety, or just having a bad day, but they can only do well by learning the material and demonstrating that knowledge. So you know that your son knows this material. I would encourage you to try to find out how the other kids in his class did as a group--is he in the ballpark for them? In other words, although he above 'grade level', is he above his peers or at their level or below them? I would use that info as part of determining what to do.

 

You want him to be in an appropriate placement as well as continuing to learn. Both are important. At some point I imagine that you want him to be mainstreamed. Find out what his peers here are like and what accommodations are available and how those are likely to effect his social and emotional side as well as his academic one, and THEN decide what to do.

[Moni]

homeschooling, your son was receiving the accommodations necessary to manage his issues

 

This is what I thought. Isn't that the goal?:)

Am I missing the point somewhere?

:seeya:

Edited September 9, 2009 by Moni

[Laura Corin]

 

And now I have this child who desperately wants to fit in and just is falling apart at the seams and I'm in a country where there are NO decent OT's. I am so grateful that the school is willing to bend over backward for my kid but right now I feel really sad, and mad, and just...I don't know...

 

facing up to my denial sucks.

 

She might know of someone in Malaysia. Email me on laurapublic at gmail dot com.

 

Laura

[chanda7]

Remember, you have just made a major move...to a foreign country, which can be tremendously stressful for anyone. All of this put together may be causing the problems to resurface. Don't beat yourself up over this.

[Laura Corin]

Remember, you have just made a major move...to a foreign country, which can be tremendously stressful for anyone. All of this put together may be causing the problems to resurface. Don't beat yourself up over this.

 

Hobbes' stutter became much worse after our move last year; it has calmed down a lot now.

 

Laura

[Paz]

Heather, don't be too hard on yourself. You are moving in the right direction and doing what is best for you son. He is progressing and you are working to get him where he needs to be. My dd with sensory issues is 17. I have made many mistakes (and spent lots of needless money) along the way. But we've kept our communications open and she is thriving in the things she is good at and improving in those things that she struggles with. You are doing great with him.

[keptwoman]

Hobbes' stutter became much worse after our move last year; it has calmed down a lot now.

 

Laura

Yes C's got worse when we moved country too.

I totally understand where you are coming from, Cs "issues" are mostly non-issues homeschooling but just occasionally something happens to make me aware that they are still there. It's understandable that you didn't realise the extent of them when home is so suited to keeping them at bay.

 

But like others I'd really encourage you to give it all time, the moving itself is hard and creates stresses for your DS that would have existed now even if you had continued to homeschool. Things will calm down for him as you all settle into your new environment.

[EKS]

If you are a bad mom then I'm right there with you because I dropped the ball on the OT homework with each of my kids. All of those therapies, all of the therapy homework, (in our case) all of the remediation, and all of the energy it takes to keep everyone FOCUSED is COMPLETELY EXHAUSTING.

 

I'm wondering if he's still getting settled. After all, didn't you just move to a whole new country in addition to putting him in school? Things might get a lot better once he gets used to things.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[tex-mex]

 

I did have a talk with the special services director and he has pleaded with me not to pull Kyle from school even for half the day. He wants a chance to work with him (he knows a lot about SID). He gave me a long list of ideas, suggestions, modifications, etc., that he could put into place to help Kyle manage his day. And he is the one who suggested the equestrian therapy idea I posted about earlier.

 

I am just so mad at myself. I should have kept up on therapy all this time but instead I stupidly thought he was pretty much "all better now". :banghead:

 

And now I have this child who desperately wants to fit in and just is falling apart at the seams and I'm in a country where there are NO decent OT's. I am so grateful that the school is willing to bend over backward for my kid but right now I feel really sad, and mad, and just...I don't know...

 

facing up to my denial sucks.

 

Heather, don't beat yourself up. It is a good thing to have the Special Services Director work with Kyle. Look at it from one day at a time... and how in the long run, this will help him in the long run with transition into adulthood. It isn't easy. :grouphug:

 

BTW, I am very impressed with a private school having a Special Services Director. We didn't have one when our Asperger's/PDD-NOS son was in private school. Like Carol said, that is a good thing. God is at work!

Edited September 9, 2009 by tex-mex

[funschooler5]

Don't feel bad! You are not alone.

 

We didn't even realize our son had SPD until he was in school for a few months in the 1st grade. We thought he was just being...well, a boy (he's our only son, we have two DDs). School really brought his issues into focus (getting in other kids' space, bumping into kids/furniture, general messiness, etc).

 

Well, he's in 4th grade now, and for awhile I thought he was getting better. He's been homeschooled this whole time, and I thought just keeping him at home would help. Over the last several months, though, his issues have gotten worse, and he's taken on some new ones. He's been chewing the collars of his shirts so much, I've had to throw five of them out due to holes. He needs constant supervision during his schoolwork, or his mind wanders and his papers get covered in doodles. He makes noises and fidgets constantly while he works. A couple of weeks ago he had a meltdown at the public library. Some little kids knocked over his sandcastle (yes, they had a sandbox at the library :001_huh:)

and he just freaked out. I practically had to carry him out of the building.

 

And today....ugh. If anyone is a bad mom, it's me. He heard the ice cream truck, so I let him take his money and go buy some ice cream. He's done it several times before (we live in a quiet neighborhood, with lots of kids in a small town). Well, apparently this time, the ice cream truck was a lot farther away than normal. I was in the backyard waiting with 4 yr old DD and saw him walk down the block and back (he didn't see it there and headed up the other way). My husband saw him down the street on his way home, so we waited for him to walk back. He didn't come. We send DD 11 up the street to get him, figuring he just turned the corner. She couldn't find him. I jumped in the car and drove around the neighborhood with DD 11 while my husband stayed with DD 4. Couldn't find him....asked a few neighborhood moms if they saw him, and they hadn't. At this point, I was starting to panic. We went home and my husband took our youngest DD in his car, I went looking in my car, and DD 11 stayed home in case he showed up there. My husband called his friend, who lives in our neighborhood, and he walked around looking for DS too. I spotted the ice cream man, and described DS and asked if he'd seen him. He remembered him from previous visits, but hadn't seen him that day. Finally, my husband called my cell phone. He found him several blocks away, running around with tears in his eyes. He'd just kept running when he couldn't find the ice cream truck, and couldn't find his way back. He was missing a total of 40 minutes. Talk about feeling like a bad mom! I still feel terrible. DS is really smart, but he just isn't aware of his surroundings at all, and his sensory and attention issues really affect the way he thinks. But, I thought he knew our neighborhood better than that....our house, our business, our friend's house, and my inlaws houses are all within 4 blocks of each other. I see kids his age (and way younger) riding their bikes, or walking freely throughout the neighborhood. I guess I just have blinders on when it comes to his issues sometimes. Sometimes he's just such a "regular" kid, I sometimes forget that he can't handle things other kids can.

[Heather in Neverland]

Don't feel bad! You are not alone.

 

We didn't even realize our son had SPD until he was in school for a few months in the 1st grade. We thought he was just being...well, a boy (he's our only son, we have two DDs). School really brought his issues into focus (getting in other kids' space, bumping into kids/furniture, general messiness, etc).

 

Well, he's in 4th grade now, and for awhile I thought he was getting better. He's been homeschooled this whole time, and I thought just keeping him at home would help. Over the last several months, though, his issues have gotten worse, and he's taken on some new ones. He's been chewing the collars of his shirts so much, I've had to throw five of them out due to holes. He needs constant supervision during his schoolwork, or his mind wanders and his papers get covered in doodles. He makes noises and fidgets constantly while he works. A couple of weeks ago he had a meltdown at the public library. Some little kids knocked over his sandcastle (yes, they had a sandbox at the library :001_huh:)

and he just freaked out. I practically had to carry him out of the building.

 

And today....ugh. If anyone is a bad mom, it's me. He heard the ice cream truck, so I let him take his money and go buy some ice cream. He's done it several times before (we live in a quiet neighborhood, with lots of kids in a small town). Well, apparently this time, the ice cream truck was a lot farther away than normal. I was in the backyard waiting with 4 yr old DD and saw him walk down the block and back (he didn't see it there and headed up the other way). My husband saw him down the street on his way home, so we waited for him to walk back. He didn't come. We send DD 11 up the street to get him, figuring he just turned the corner. She couldn't find him. I jumped in the car and drove around the neighborhood with DD 11 while my husband stayed with DD 4. Couldn't find him....asked a few neighborhood moms if they saw him, and they hadn't. At this point, I was starting to panic. We went home and my husband took our youngest DD in his car, I went looking in my car, and DD 11 stayed home in case he showed up there. My husband called his friend, who lives in our neighborhood, and he walked around looking for DS too. I spotted the ice cream man, and described DS and asked if he'd seen him. He remembered him from previous visits, but hadn't seen him that day. Finally, my husband called my cell phone. He found him several blocks away, running around with tears in his eyes. He'd just kept running when he couldn't find the ice cream truck, and couldn't find his way back. He was missing a total of 40 minutes. Talk about feeling like a bad mom! I still feel terrible. DS is really smart, but he just isn't aware of his surroundings at all, and his sensory and attention issues really affect the way he thinks. But, I thought he knew our neighborhood better than that....our house, our business, our friend's house, and my inlaws houses are all within 4 blocks of each other. I see kids his age (and way younger) riding their bikes, or walking freely throughout the neighborhood. I guess I just have blinders on when it comes to his issues sometimes. Sometimes he's just such a "regular" kid, I sometimes forget that he can't handle things other kids can.

 

 

 

Oh my goodness! You must have been terrified! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[claire up north]

I think you should try to focus on the fact that you have helped your child develop some great coping skills. You might not have known you were doing that when you limited his social activities to an hour at a time (or when you did all the other things that helped him), but (and this is big), he got so much better you didn't even think he had issues anymore! That's HUGE!!

 

Now you've got the opportunity for some more progress. You can talk with your son and start to identify what specific things have changed with his new routine and teach him to try to cope with them based on what he already knows. This is exactly the skill that he will need most as he moves into adulthood.

 

You also get to see where his biggest weaknesses are...the weaknesses that are likely to interfere with his "normal" functioning out there in the "real" world.

 

Whether you leave him in school or bring him home, this is a wonderful opportunity for both of you to reassess his progress and think about how he wants/needs his life structured in the future.

 

Good luck!

[ma23peas]

His strength is tied to your strength....God created each of us with our unique challenges and gifts...there is a wonderful chapter in "The Likeness of God" that perfectly sums up we are all parts of a whole...we are NOT to be made alike, not to be compared to another cell...a white blood cell is NOT to do the job of a liver cell and vice versa.

 

When I read your concern for your failings...I had to ask, is it because you want him to NOT have the fears and frustrations of going slower on a test? He is having them because he is comparing himself to the other children and what is expected. I think as a mother it is so important to encourage and lift up what is unique in him...who cares if it takes double the time..(maybe the kids rolling their eyes or making comments "Finally, he's done!", heck even teachers can be so foolish) what matters is that he did NOT give up! What an amazing character trait!! And his scores show that God has gifted him in intellect....we are all created for His will...we can't all do 100 math problems in 10 minutes....some of the kids in that class probably finished early because they were SO frustrated that they could NOT answer the questions (I know, I am a certified SAT tester...a senior last spring finished her test amazingly quick, I had to see if she had any questions, she had just gone through the test and maked ABCDABCD down the list...she said, she never understood math and never would...it broke my heart but I encouraged her and felt her pain!)

 

We are not in this role of parenting to make our children more comfortable...hopefully we'll have those days, but our goal is to guide them through the pits and valleys reminding them of their strengths so that they can climb those mountains...sometimes we create mountains that aren't there and othes we just want to stop and say "give me a break!" Many moms with similar challenges offer such great support.....hold on to those and let your strength build his...don't doubt your abilities or shortcomings...God gives you everything you need!

 

Oh! And a move especially as far as you all have gone is sooo stressful, let that remind you to take some things easy come easy go....he is blessed to have your heart of a mother!

 

Tara

[Brigitte]

Heather, I have not read the other responses, but I just want to say you can NOT beat yourself up over this. Parenting is not an exact science and not one single person does it perfectly. You need to take what you have learned and move forward. I am willing to bet that something really great comes out of this, you just can't see it at the moment.

 

Prayers going out to all of you.

 

Brigitte

[funschooler5]

Oh my goodness! You must have been terrified! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Yes, he gave us quite a scare! Everyone in the neighborhood was so nice...even some of the neighborhood kids went out looking on their bikes. I ran into one of them when I was talking to the ice cream man. I mentioned DS's name, and the boy (who I've never seen before) said, "Oh, I've been looking for him too!" I love our town. :001_smile:

[tdeveson]

Good grief. For a "bad" mom, you sure seem to be working hard to help your child. Your job is not to be perfect. Your job is to do the absolute best you can do for each of your children and it seems that that is just what you've been doing. Don't beat yourself up. This is just another stone in your path. We all have them.

 

Hang in there.

[KidsHappen]

I'm no good at mushy stuff, so stop beating yourself up or I'll be forced to slap you.

 

And this is why we love YOU. :tongue_smilie: