At the risk of being considered nuts here also

[Pamela H in Texas]

I may be a tad hard on myself, but seriously y'all, I am seriously lacking in much more serious ways than whether the seam in my hose is straight! LOL (Note: just look at how many times I can use "serious" in one sentence! hee hee)

 

Again, there is just a chasm between my belief and practice. I have improved CONSIDERABLY in the last 16 yrs. I'm sure a good part of that is "putting on the new personality" though some of it is just maturing, I'm also sure. Well, and my hubby improved during that time. It is much easier to do your part when your mate is doing his. BUT, my choices are NOT, and should NOT, be dependent on him. I am an individual and I should be able to do much better than I am doing. I think I just need a little handholding (hence the books and websites). And I think that ALL of us will grow if *I* set up a better environment, especially attitude/behavior wise (though physically will always help too).

 

I'm not sure I can explain without outlining how horrible I really am. Really, I'm just being HONEST. *I* deserve to be happier and I really think I will be if I start DOING better. I think it will snowball in the right direction. I have some significant obstacles, some of which I can't overcome in this life, but I can do a whole lot better. So I'm gonna :)

Edited August 29, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[elw_miller]

:grouphug:

 

I scored "high", but I have dirty little secrets that need working on. <Sigh> So, to reiterate, I think you have a great idea. I've enjoyed looking at the sites others have shared and look forward to reading what you have found, too.

[Rosie_0801]

Oops! I'm definitely guilty of this: "Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them."

 

 

But my hubby likes it when I do that!

 

:D

Rosie

[dangermom]

But my hubby likes it when I do that!

:D

Rosie

Ha! Mine mostly actually does. He is always too warm and I'm always too cold (in winter) so he's fine with it.

 

I meant to add, Pamela, tell us what you want to work on! Start a group and I'll work on me too. :)

[Annabel Lee]

"Womanly art" to me means breastfeeding. I've been brainwashed by LLL! :D

 

Lol, before reading more of the thread I thought Pam was talking about midwifery!

[Rosie_0801]

I suppose my best "womanly arts" story was attending a baby shower for one of my SCA friends. You could certainly pick the SCAers too. Once afternoon tea was over, they all opened their handbags and whipped out their embroidery. We got some funny looks from the other ladies present :)

 

Rosie

[SquirrellyMama]

Ouch. I only got a 34. I'm poor at being a 30's wife.

[amy g.]

I don't know HOW I got a 96!

 

I admitted to not combing my hair, being overweight, cooking in my PJs, wearing ragged clothes and not keeping a clean and tidy house!

 

Well, Dh scored 149, so that must be what makes me a good wife in spite of all of my faults.

Edited August 29, 2009 by amy g.

[i.love.lucy]

I have no desire to live as the women in my family lived in the 1930s. They were sharecroppers, and it wasn't a good life.

 

ITA. My grandmother was dirt poor and had to scrape by and barely survived the 30's. Let's not romanticize a time with very little women's rights and rampant poverty from the depression, not to mention the racial prejudice.

 

I don't think what we are saying here is that we would want to go back and live in that time. There is nothing wrong, IMO, with embracing the advancements we've had over the last 70 years or so. It seems like we just love the values. The idea that it's okay and even a worthwhile and noble thing to embrace your feminine role, and be good at it.

 

I keep reminding my dd that she doesn't necessarily have to have some lofty stated career objective for "when she grows up", that it's okay to be a wife and a mom and just be really, really good at that.

[Lovedtodeath]

"Womanly art" to me means breastfeeding.

Oh cool! I've nothing to work on then.:D

 

Fails to bath or brush teeth often enough. (Isn't that a given when one is breastfeeding?):tongue_smilie:

 

I got 48 (average).

Edited August 29, 2009 by Lovedtodeath

[JudyJudyJudy]

I retook it and got 34. I don't know if I wasn't paying attention to questions earlier (and was reading them to mean the opposite of what they meant), if I got different questions, or what, but now I'm just poor. ;)

[Pamela H in Texas]

There is nothing wrong, IMO, with embracing the advancements we've had over the last 70 years or so. It seems like we just love the values. The idea that it's okay and even a worthwhile and noble thing to embrace your feminine role, and be good at it.

 

Right.

 

As for what to work on? I don't even know everything, but here is what I have in order to figure it out:

 

1) bought book Fascinating Womanhood (amazon says it's been shipped)

2) started reading Secrets of a Fascinating Woman (free download)

3) got a start up list: http://lifeasafascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/2009/04/welcome-to-thirty-day-femininity.html

4) wrote the OP and participated in this thread (important IMO)

5) order certain books. I did add the Home Comforts to my cart. I need a $50 order to use gift certificate.

 

 

So for putting it into practice, how about working on that list of 30 first? A manicure, a little make up, hushing (#18), and trying to be sweet.

 

I thinking I'm going to run to the thrift shop for a couple cheap outfits (maybe hitting garage sales on the way).

 

And I've lost 7.5 pounds so far so will have the right attitude about all that.

[Jennifer in SC]

Is THAT what marital congress means?! I didn't check the box because I thought it was something else. :lol:

 

:lol: Me too.

[angela in ohio]

For background:

Pollyanna

The 5 Little Peppers (might be too early, but I think it's a 30's ish lifestyle)

 

For instruction:

Whatever the county fair entry book is in your community (learn to make all the domestic arts items really, really well, and you're halfway there.)

The square foot gardening book (not really old, but effective in teaching growing your own produce)

The current edition of the Ball Mason canning book

Those Mennonite cookbooks for cooking from scratch. One is called "The More With Less Cookbook" and there is at least one sequel.

Edith Shaeffer's book on homemaking

Proverbs 31

 

:iagree:

 

I also second Home Comforts and Fascinating Womanhood.

 

The "More with Less Cookbook" taught me how to really cook. I didn't know until I read it that you could make a cream soup yourself without help from Campbell's. :D

[hillfarm]

I think it is important to determine what it is that attracts you to the ideal of the 1930's wife. Do you think about staying home most of the time, being more subservient to your dh, keeping a cleaner house, being more dignified in public? What exactly is it that you think of when you imagine the 1930's woman you would like to emulate?

 

Remember that the 1930's was the time of the Great Depression. Many of the virtues of the people back then were forced upon them by severe economic circumstances. They cooked from scratch because they had few other options. They mended clothing and other items because there was little money to buy new. And to be honest, people focused more on family and home because there just weren't as many other distractions possible then.

 

IMO, the only way to really incorporate these typical attributes into your modern life is to get serious and ruthless about stepping aside from the mainstream. You may have to drop out of some of the kids' activities, if family life is a priority. Your family will have to learn to eat home cooked things instead of take out or dine in. Everyone may have to adjust their attitudes about style and fashion. It won't be easy to accomplish a shift of this magnitude.

 

We live on a small farm in a rural area. I got a high score on the quiz (for what that's worth:001_smile:). But I think our lifestyle is pretty far outside the mainstream. I definitely would like to improve myself in some of the areas. One is that I would like to do a better job blending feminity and gentility with the hard physical labor a farm wife has to do daily. So I'm in, if that's where you are going!

[Mommyfaithe]

http://www.magatsu.net/maritaltest/

 

Oooh, how would YOU rate as a 1930s wife/husband?

 

I'm not sure if this is the actual test, but apparently there WAS one and this is either a rip-off or an online version of the real thing (they claim it's the same test, but there's ones for husbands and from what I read they never mentioned a test for dhs).

 

 

 

ETA 86 "very superior" well la-tee-da!

 

I got a 91%...LOL....I love the 1930's....

[dangermom]

I, personally, would not recommend Fascinating Womanhood. IMO that book espouses a very childish, manipulative way of behavior. (I didn't realize it was still in print; I saw an ancient copy years ago.) If you're interested in working on being more feminine and pretty--and I would add dignified to that list--there are tons of resources, and even a whole lot of blogs on vintage style and how to sew and wear them in a modern way. I'll post the addresses of some if anyone is interested.

[ConnieB]

oooo, I definitely second the Cheryl Mendelson books (she has a laundry book that is wonderful too....our copy lives in the laundry room, lol).

 

If you've got girls ....a wonderful 7 YEAR program is Training Our Daughters To Be Keepers At Home by Ann Ward (aka TODKAH). The book itself is a bit expensive ($75) but remember it's a 7 year curriculum, so cheap by the year. There is also a CD-Rom version for $35, but somehow that flies in the face of the 1930's woman doesn't it? Anyway, both can be found at http://www.homeschoolfcgs.com

 

A yahoogroup that espouses the TODKAH lifestyle is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tod-kah/ Alas, it has slowed down a great deal in the past year or so, but perhaps some new blood asking for help will revive it. If not, the archives would be a treasure trove.

 

Another great website (though I don't believe she updates it anymore):

http://members.truevine.net/theingrams/

 

 

 

I love learning all these womanly arts....but I gotta say that I could never be happy living that life in it's totality. Thankfully I can take the parts I like and leave the rest to you ladies, lol. Oh...and while the TODKAH is supposed to be for girls....around here the guys are learning these skills as well. They aren't quite as taken with them, but by heavens I'm going to pass on to my future-daughters-in-law men who can cook, clean, repair their own clothing and know how to care for others. I hope they thank me profusely, lol.

[Medieval Mom]

Choose one or two things you want to work on for a month. When that becomes a habit, choose another habit. Only you can determine what changes will make you feel better.

 

For example, my version of an "ideal wife" has NOTHING to do with subservience. Interestingly, my etiquette and charm books from the 50's and 60's are much more male-centric and subservient-espousing than books written from earlier eras, including the 30's...

 

A book I read off and on in college was The Woman You Want to Be: Margery Wilson's Complete Book of Charm. It had useful tips on being a better PERSON, as I remember. I took from it to be more hopeful, set goals and accomplish them, think of others, be a good correspondant, etc. It's full of gorgeous, inspirational quotes that I've taken to heart, such as "You do not need to own beauty in order to possess it." (It also has a list of exercises in every chapter. I can't remember if it's ALL good. It's been a long time!) Another book of charm from the 50's is all about having a tiny waist, sitting in the proper way, and being pleasing to men. Bleh:tongue_smilie:

 

This is a good reminder for me to dig out Margery again and cuddle up to some good reading and a cup of tea. Ignore what is archaic or hindering, choose what is useful and good. ;) My advice is to use these sources as inspiration, not clubs with which to bludgeon yourself! Lift yourself up; don't bog yourself down.;)

[elw_miller]

I would add dignified to that list--there are tons of resources, and even a whole lot of blogs on vintage style and how to sew and wear them in a modern way. I'll post the addresses of some if anyone is interested.

 

Interested!

[sunflowerlady]

I am going to PM you about a message board for Christian women. :)

 

It discusses a wide range of issues from Bible and scripture, to homemaking, sewing, crafts, marriage, gardening, etc etc.

 

It sounds like just the thing you are looking for.

[elw_miller]

3) got a start up list: http://lifeasafascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/2009/04/welcome-to-thirty-day-femininity.html

 

The aforementioned quiz and the list mentioned above seem to be aimed in slightly different directions. For instance, what do manicures and pedicures have to do with being a 1930s woman? My grandma always kept her nails clean and trimmed but never manicured--if you work with your hands enough the paint just gets chipped.

 

The quiz seems mostly directed to behaviors and character, whereas the list seems to be mostly directed to appearance. (Note: I am not saying that the goal of being more feminine is not laudable.) I have not yet read anything about the Fascinating Womanhood book, so perhaps I am misinterpreting its aim.

 

It also occurred to me that not being very feminine and delicate--according to the cited list--is a far cry from "how horrible I really am" (and, again, I doubt you are horrible). :001_smile:

 

Perhaps combining the quiz and the list will help you achieve the results you're seeking???

[Jayne J]

My grandma loved to tell me the story of her high school home ec teacher, who told the girls in her class to keep their nails clean, trimmed and buffed, and if they absolutely HAD to wear polish it should be clear, because only "hussys and fast women" wore colors.:lol:

 

Anyways, I tought the OP would like this blog--http://charmingthebirdsfromthetrees.blogspot.com/

[phathui5]

 

www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com might have links.

[Mrs Mungo]

The quiz seems mostly directed to behaviors and character, whereas the list seems to be mostly directed to appearance. (Note: I am not saying that the goal of being more feminine is not laudable.) I have not yet read anything about the Fascinating Womanhood book, so perhaps I am misinterpreting its aim.

 

What I don't like about lists like this is that the goal seems to be to act more *girlish* instead of more womanly. Seriously, being feminine doesn't mean never growing up.

 

examples:

When appropriate, use a cooing or purring quality in the voice, akin to baby talk.

 

Feel tender emotions and display them appropriately.

 

If you truly feel afraid, then express your fearfulness during a thunderstorm, an activity (remember the sailboat story from page 299?), or when encountering a rodent or reptile.

[phathui5]

"Womanly art" to me means breastfeeding. I've been brainwashed by LLL! :D

 

Same here. And I've been nursing for almost nine years straight, so I've got it down.

 

You know, the very best resource I can recommend is a book called "Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House" by Cheryl Mendelson.

 

That's a really good book.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I want to thank you all.

 

I AM confused exactly what I want.

 

First, I'm more interested in the personality changes. I want to be less naturally grumpy. I want to be gentler, more understanding. With hubby, I want to be more respectful and yes, submissive (in a healthy natural way, not the icky way which isn't really a concern anyway as he's not the sort of man that would take advantage or be abusive). I want to be a joy to be around, not someone people have to put up with. I want my tone of voice, attitude, etc to be good. I want to not be so lazy. I want to be confident without being a pompous jerk. I want to be intelligent without making others feel like they're dumb. I want to be more tender and cheerful rather than a sour old hag (maybe not hyperbole; only slight if it is). I want to be more giving, helpful, thoughtful in my home-towards my hubby. I want to encourage, not discourage hubby.

 

A close second is being feminine. I'm definitely frumpy at best. Some of it isn't help-able. I don't think I can wear heels (I fall enough as it is, but I think I'm going to try anyway). I can't necessarily "walk like a woman" as I limp 95% of the time. But a dress seems like a pretty simple change. Hygiene standards could be raised. A little make up and filing my nails when they break <sigh> seems simple enough. I'm not sure I totally get the speech one but since I'm pretty gruff, it's certainly something to work towards. And even the speech itself can be more quiet-natured and less crass<?>. It's just not necessary to say "man" or "word" in the same way one would curse. I can keep working on the weight rather than letting it go. The dignified look in the pictures on that one site-that is what I want. I could even be pretty in my own way?

 

Keeping house is third, I think. There is certainly work to be done here, but we're not slobs either. It is higher up than the next list of things though just because it's a work in progress. I really think that Home Comforts book is going to help me tweak considerably :)

 

Then there is everything else from cooking to sewing to gardening and such. Those will be nice things to add and some of them probably will help with the above things even.

 

BTW, my daughter is soon to be 17. My son is 14. I've probably ruined them though they are great kids. But I'm sure I've turned my daughter away from femininity and both of them from marriage.

 

And I'm not trying to beat myself up. I just am taking this long to make clear what my first and subsequent posts were trying to say, I think.

 

I'm determined to look at the positive. As I start doing X, I'll praise myself for X. And as I add more, I'll note my progress. Instead of looking at how much further I have to go, I'll look at how far I've come. But I do want to make a conscious effort to progress. *I* deserve better than I've given myself all my adult life. My hubby does too. And maybe my children seeing this will help them in some way also.

Edited August 29, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[Audrey]

I received an 89. I'm fairly sure my cold feet, vulgar stories and red nail polish brought my score down.

 

I guess I'm not sure which 1930-era housewife we're talking. Nora Charles? I could that! I can make martinis! :lol:

 

Oh! Have you ever read The Egg and I? There is a movie version with Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray. We should read the book as a project.

 

I will say this-most middle class housewives of this era had at least one maid, if not a maid and a cook.

 

That test held no reality for the 1930's housewife who was slogging along with her husband and kids in a patch of dust trying to eke out a living during the depression. WTF does "dressing for breakfast" and any number of silly trivial items on that test have to do with anything?

[HRAAB]

That test held no reality for the 1930's housewife who was slogging along with her husband and kids in a patch of dust trying to eke out a living during the depression. WTF does "dressing for breakfast" and any number of silly trivial items on that test have to do with anything?

 

I actually thought the test was meant to be a joke; just in fun. The opposite of what the 1930's housewife really was. My grandmother was a 1930's housewife, living on a farm, hadn't sold a crop in several years, trying to keep her family alive on red beans. I can't imagine if she were alive today what she would say about that list.

 

Janet

[dangermom]

Certainly that quiz looked much more like the life of a well-off woman with help around the house--a movie wife more than a Dust Bowl wife. But that's also what you would get in an advice book! Looking at dress patterns and style magazines of the day, not at actual photos of Okies, will give you that flavor as well. (My family were Okies, and my great-grandmother ran a chuck wagon and kept her family in a tent, so don't think I'm dissing anyone. But I'm pretty sure Bertha would have loved to be able to dress nicely for breakfast.)

[elw_miller]

First, I'm more interested in the personality changes. I want to be less naturally grumpy. I want to be gentler, more understanding. With hubby, I want to be more respectful and yes, submissive (in a healthy natural way, not the icky way which isn't really a concern anyway as he's not the sort of man that would take advantage or be abusive). I want to be a joy to be around, not someone people have to put up with. I want my tone of voice, attitude, etc to be good. I want to not be so lazy. I want to be confident without being a pompous jerk. I want to be intelligent without making others feel like they're dumb. I want to be more tender and cheerful rather than a sour old hag (maybe not hyperbole; only slight if it is). I want to be more giving, helpful, thoughtful in my home-towards my hubby. I want to encourage, not discourage hubby.

 

This might be an odd recommendation, but perhaps read (or watch) Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables and the Laura Ingalls books. The examples of exemplary behavior would be good models to emulate.

 

A close second is being feminine. I'm definitely frumpy at best. Some of it isn't help-able. I don't think I can wear heels (I fall enough as it is, but I think I'm going to try anyway).

 

I don't think heels are necessary in order to be feminine. Audrey Hepburn, a very feminine and classy lady, loved wearing ballet-style shoes.

 

I'm not sure I totally get the speech one but since I'm pretty gruff, it's certainly something to work towards. And even the speech itself can be more quiet-natured and less crass<?>. It's just not necessary to say "man" or "word" in the same way one would curse.

 

Framing how things are said in a positive vs. negative way could be part of it. I know people who say things like "Do you not make your husband's lunch anymore?" versus "Do you still make your husband's lunch?" The first way, even spoken in a reasonable tone, still raised my hackles. The first way sounds passive aggressive / assumes the worst. Or, if you use commands frequently, consider rephrasing the statement to sound less bossy (I need to take my own advice here; I've been using too many imperatives with my 2-year-old ds!). :blush: <sigh> I know for me, just changing how I say things will go a long way toward making me sound less stern.

 

Well, off to take a dose of my own medicine...:D

[elw_miller]

That test held no reality for the 1930's housewife who was slogging along with her husband and kids in a patch of dust trying to eke out a living during the depression. WTF does "dressing for breakfast" and any number of silly trivial items on that test have to do with anything?

 

I agree that some of the items are pretty trivial (curlers and face cream, for instance). I think the "dressing for breakfast" aspect indicates a woman up and ready to dive into the work for the day--which would apply to a woman slogging along with her husband to eke out a living. The first work of the day being getting breakfast, such that it is, ready for the family.

 

A lot of the items on the test (silly as the test is) could apply to any woman (or man for that matter) at any point in history--are you a gossip? are you faithful? do you stay within your budget? are you respectful to those who wait upon you?

[ConnieB]

Dressing for breakfast? Heck, I consider it a good day if by the time dinner rolls around I've showered. If we had nothing to leave the house for I have trouble seeing the reason to shower and get dressed.

 

Hmmm, why is everyone backing away?

[dangermom]

Interested!

 

OK, here are a few. Just follow the sidebar links to more.

 

Casey's elegant musics

 

Gertie's new blog for better sewing

 

Couture Allure--Go find the fun posts from a couple of weeks back on how to walk, sit, get out of a car gracefully

[Jayne J]

Oooooooh. Thanks Dangermom!:drool:

[Lovedtodeath]

Dressing for breakfast? Heck, I consider it a good day if by the time dinner rolls around I've showered. If we had nothing to leave the house for I have trouble seeing the reason to shower and get dressed.

 

Hmmm, why is everyone backing away?

:iagree::tongue_smilie: Actually, I have started showering and dressing in the morning. It is a nice mental boost and it also helps my health. I am less achy all day if I get that shower. We need to get toxins out and off of our bodies.

[caitlinsmom]

I want to thank you all.

 

First, I'm more interested in the personality changes. I want to be less naturally grumpy. I want to be gentler, more understanding. With hubby, I want to be more respectful and yes, submissive (in a healthy natural way, not the icky way which isn't really a concern anyway as he's not the sort of man that would take advantage or be abusive). I want to be a joy to be around, not someone people have to put up with. I want my tone of voice, attitude, etc to be good. I want to not be so lazy. I want to be confident without being a pompous jerk. I want to be intelligent without making others feel like they're dumb. I want to be more tender and cheerful rather than a sour old hag (maybe not hyperbole; only slight if it is). I want to be more giving, helpful, thoughtful in my home-towards my hubby. I want to encourage, not discourage hubby.

 

A close second is being feminine. I'm definitely frumpy at best. Some of it isn't help-able. I don't think I can wear heels (I fall enough as it is, but I think I'm going to try anyway). I can't necessarily "walk like a woman" as I limp 95% of the time. But a dress seems like a pretty simple change. Hygiene standards could be raised. A little make up and filing my nails when they break <sigh> seems simple enough. I'm not sure I totally get the speech one but since I'm pretty gruff, it's certainly something to work towards. And even the speech itself can be more quiet-natured and less crass<?>. It's just not necessary to say "man" or "word" in the same way one would curse. I can keep working on the weight rather than letting it go. The dignified look in the pictures on that one site-that is what I want. I could even be pretty in my own way?

 

Keeping house is third, I think. There is certainly work to be done here, but we're not slobs either. It is higher up than the next list of things though just because it's a work in progress. I really think that Home Comforts book is going to help me tweak considerably :)

 

 

I'm determined to look at the positive. As I start doing X, I'll praise myself for X. And as I add more, I'll note my progress. Instead of looking at how much further I have to go, I'll look at how far I've come. But I do want to make a conscious effort to progress. *I* deserve better than I've given myself all my adult life. My hubby does too. And maybe my children seeing this will help them in some way also.

 

First off I totally relate to your personality part of this post! That was/is me. :) One thing that I have been doing for a couple of months is writing a list of what I am thankful for/ that bring me hapiness. I keep this list on my blog(www.naturallysimple.blogspot.com) so that I can always look at it for a positive reminder.

 

Second your frumpiness. When I think of myself as frumpy I am and act frumpy. When I see myself and say "Wow you are one frumpy mom, lets change that!" Its amazing the changes I see in myself. That is not to say that I even dress nicely. I dont, I am a jeans and T-shirt kind of gal, but its amazing what a good pair of jean and a nice fitting shirt will make you feel like. I also was told once that Fly Lady reccommends getting dressed down to your shoes everyday. I started doing that (except the shoes) and it really helps with my attitude during the day, esp. school!

Everyday I put on mascara, thats it. I keep a tube of chapstick in my pocket and keep my lips moist. I find that I feel more ready for the day when I do this and therefore feel more put together.

 

Not that it needs to be said again but Home Comforts is a great book. I also like to read the random Organic cleaning ones I come across becase they always have simple ideas to make a home more comfortable with out the pomp and circumstance.

 

And last but not least. http://www.homemakershomestead.com/smf/index.php

This forum is a fabulous resource for ideas on some of the things you want to change. I used to belong but currently dont. She isnt accepting new members yet but I emailed her a while ago and she thought she would be in Sept. Regardless the forums are open to reading right now.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My daughter and I went to Goodwill earlier; it's a couple of towns over. Anyway, they were PACKED. They were having a huge sale, 50% off all clothing, books, purses, ties, etc.

 

I got a beautiful long skirt. Only bad part is that its a combination of reds and such. I always have such a hard time finding tops for reddish skirts! I also got two two piece dress outfits. My daughter got a skirt that will allow her to quit borrowing one of mine and having to safety pin it. We got my son two ties. I'm SURE I'll still hear, in the morning, how he can't find one <sigh>. We got a few books also :)

 

It felt great to get some things and do it on the cheap :) I also got to some laundry that was piling up so that felt good too. Mostly, I've just been playing with the websites y'all have linked and those lined from them.

 

Anyway, I want to thank y'all for your support (and those who think I'm nuts for not causing discord on the thread).

 

I don't know that I will ever wear ONLY dresses and the very idea of a nightgown is enough to cause an anxiety attack. LOL But I can definitely get out of frumpiness. And if I add a few ideas here and there how to improve how I look, how I feel, how I perceive things, how I respond, how I think, etc; I think it'll be good. Perfect I won't be in this system, but I can do better and I'm really excited about the journey :)

[Lovedtodeath]

Everyday I put on mascara, thats it. I keep a tube of chapstick in my pocket and keep my lips moist. I find that I feel more ready for the day when I do this and therefore feel more put together.

:iagree:Mascara and lip stick make me feel like I am wearing full make up. If I look in the mirror I can tell I am not, but I will forget and act like I am for hours.

[Audrey]

:iagree:Mascara and lip stick make me feel like I am wearing full make up. If I look in the mirror I can tell I am not, but I will forget and act like I am for hours.

 

 

I call that my "minimum daily war paint." :lol: I can handle anything if I've got on mascara and a bit 'o lippy.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I didn't read through all the posts. Did someone already post this article about women who really live as though it's the fifties? Yeah, I think most people would think you're nuts, but there are a few who really, totally understand.

 

Time Warp Wives: Meet the women who really do live in the past

 

Joanne Massey: 'Living like this makes me happier.'

[Pamela H in Texas]

Rose, thanks. LOL The 50's is more what I had in mind originally but then there was the 30's quiz on a blog and then posted here so we got stuck there :)

 

I KNOW I'm not having my kitchen those colors! LOL (okay, have read some of the article...I am not trying to live a make believe life of another time. I want to mix the worlds to a great extent. I think you can have the basics without going to the point of driving a 43 yr old car and using appliances from "back then" also).

 

But that is the basic IDEA I'm trying to acheive.

 

My mom was born in 1956. Her mother was a pretty independent woman (changed her documents in order to serve in the military for WWII). And she wasn't perfect by any stretch. However, my mother has some wonderful memories of her childhood, even a time they lived in a shack (I've seen it and it was smaller than my livingroom!). My grandmother cooked, had food on the table when my grandfather (who worked an orchard for the state) came home, etc. She also had her own life. She liked garage sales and she had her own shop where she did ceramics.

 

And my other grandmother (also a mom in the 50s) was similar, though possibly a bit better of a housekeeper :)

 

I really have always thought I was supposed to be a Little House era woman. I know that the Little House series isn't perfectly accurate but that time is so wonderful to me. I started reading Little House in the Big Woods as a read aloud as WWE's first week is based off of it. It just makes me think so even more. I feel so calm and serene and able to breathe with that.

 

Sorry to ramble. The way I feel inside feels so calm and serene romanticizing these time periods. Sure, maybe a lot of women had it a lot differently than the picture perfect and how I'm going to have it with 21st century progress. But I think I can recreate it enough to have what I want out of it :)

Edited August 30, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[nrg]

According to this article, this is an assessment used by marriage counselors in 1930! Here's the link...

 

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/1954587/Mark-your-wives-The-1930s-marriage-test.html

 

And we thought it was a joke!

[Tree House Academy]

I am much more a 1930's wife than a 21st century wife. I have a degree and had a career, but I stopped to be a SAHM and now a homeschooling mom. I enjoy my "work" here and strive to make the environment as comfortable as possible for dh when he comes home. I am not interested in a career now and doubt I will ever work again. *sigh*

 

That said, I am kind of like you and I don't buy it all hook, line, and sinker. I am very obviously not "meek" so I do struggle there.

[Lovedtodeath]

But that is the basic IDEA I'm trying to acheive.

My grandmother cooked, had food on the table when my grandfather (who worked an orchard for the state) came home, etc. She also had her own life. She liked garage sales and she had her own shop where she did ceramics.

 

And my other grandmother (also a mom in the 50s) was similar, though possibly a bit better of a housekeeper :)

 

I really have always thought I was supposed to be a Little House era woman. I know that the Little House series isn't perfectly accurate but that time is so wonderful to me. I started reading Little House in the Big Woods as a read aloud as WWE's first week is based off of it. It just makes me think so even more. I feel so calm and serene and able to breathe with that.

 

Sorry to ramble. The way I feel inside feels so calm and serene romanticizing these time periods. Sure, maybe a lot of women had it a lot differently than the picture perfect and how I'm going to have it with 21st century progress. But I think I can recreate it enough to have what I want out of it :)

I romanticize things too. And I feel like I want to be busy working all of the time. I don't mind no free time. I would like my family to be better taken care of. I enjoy ironing and folding laundry and doing dishes and mopping. I want to be pleasant as I do those things. Then my mental and physical handicaps kick in and I am stuck here. I make myself exhausted, and then I get angry about it.

 

That said, I am kind of like you and I don't buy it all hook, line, and sinker. I am very obviously not "meek" so I do struggle there.

Just wanted to point out that the Bible and Jesus himself said that everyone should be meek, not just women, and perhaps our definition of meek could be adjusted?

[stripe]

I love this site.

 

Miss Abigail's Time Warp Advice.

 

She has a list of the books she has, and she came out with her own book.

[Melinda in VT]

I, personally, would not recommend Fascinating Womanhood. IMO that book espouses a very childish, manipulative way of behavior. (I didn't realize it was still in print; I saw an ancient copy years ago.)

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I'm having a hard time finding the words to express how thoroughly I despise this book. (And yes, I've read it.) For me, this book falls into the Don't Give It Away, Burn It to Stop the Poison from Spreading pile.

 

I think it's great to want to be more polished and gracious and loving. I admire women who create a welcoming home environment and nurture their family and friends. I want to be better in those areas myself.

 

But I don't think pretending to be childish and helpless are steps in the right direction.

[dangermom]

BTW Pamela, this is a favorite story of women who are looking to make changes as you are: When Queens Ride By. Actual real 30's story! I'm not entirely sure about it myself, but I think I can take some good lessons from it despite my somewhat mixed feelings.

[Marylou]

Pamela,

 

Mary Kassian's website might be helpful for you.

 

Just remember not to spend too much time on-line or with your nose in so many good books that you don't have the energy or desire to do life! :001_smile:

 

(I'm speaking from experience here. I love to read and explore on-line. Putting what I learn into practice is SO much harder!)

 

Also, Mary's Girls Gone Wild talk can be heard at www.reviveourhearts.org

 

HTH

[stripe]

I don't know why being weak and wimpy is a good concept of womanhood. How on earth can you get through childbirth (well, aside from being completely anesthetized?)? I reject that idea completely. I don't think it's how most women throughout time and around the world really live. Only the very wealthy can do that.