WWYD If you found a young child unattended in a running car in a parking lot?

[WTMCassandra]

When the father, came to the front- I told him I worked for CFSD (child famiy service division) and that leaving a child that age in a car alone is illegal.

 

[snip]

 

Did I lie? Yes I no longer had any affiliation with CFSD. Was it illegal? Yes. Would I go there again? Yes or, if my kids were with me or if I felt it wasn't safe to do what I did again, I'd call the location police dept.

 

I'm sorry, but I think this is wrong. I don't think you should lie about being with CFSD. I don't see how two wrongs make a right--if your actions are illegal as well, how can that send a message about obeying the law?

 

I do not dispute your right to make a big deal out of this, but why not just tell the father that his actions are illegal? You could even carry copies with a printout of the law in question to hand out if you feel strongly. But I don't think you should claim a legal authority you do not have.

[Caitilin]

The car was probably locked and alarmed. I don't see the child as being in danger in a situation like that. I know that's not a popular answer, but there you go. I would not do this myself, but in certain areas of my town, the were be little to no danger in doing this. Sure the car could catch fire, but the store the parent is in could also have a madman shooting it up.

 

What would I do? I would probably keep in eye on the car for a few minutes, assess the immediate danger, if any. I would probably not call the police. A sleeping child strapped in a car seat n a locked car w/ A/C for a very few minutes, depending on the place/time/etc is not likey to be in any danger at all, esp if there are people like us to help each other out. I am saddened that we live in a society where the first inclination is to report the parent to social services or the police rather than be eyes for each other.

 

Thank-you.:iagree:

[springmama]

For those who said they would never leave their children in a car, do you mean even at places where the car never leaves your sight (such as going into a gas station)?

 

I have three little ones in car seats. Frequently my oldest is at home so I'm out running errands with only the littles. Even if it's just a couple of feet between me and the car and even when I can clearly see the car I take the time to unbuckle all of them put shoes back on feet and wait while they climb out of the van . My kids are sloooooow when it comes to getting out of a vehicle and it drives me crazy but I do it.

 

In the case I mentioned above the only thing standind between momsnd car was a couple of feet and a glassdoor. She could clearly see the car and was barely inside the store and had only been out of the car for a few seconds and it ended intragedy.

 

So yes , no matter the hassle I get them woken up and unbuckled and make them run into the store or gas station with me.

[Word Nerd]

I think it was wrong to claim to be affiliated with CFSD.

 

I think some people are too quick to involve CPS or the police, but if they can't control the urge to teach other parents a lesson and presume to act as the Safety Police, it's definitely preferable to just call the police and let them handle it.

[Aubrey]

For those who said they would never leave their children in a car, do you mean even at places where the car never leaves your sight (such as going into a gas station)?

 

Not. ever. Not w/ 4 dc, not if one of them's sleeping, not under any circumstances. Not w/ a baby & pg. ANY errand can be put off till later if I *that* badly don't want to get the kids out of the car. Or if not, then it's worth getting them out.

 

When ds8 was a baby, there was a drunk driver on the rd & I had no cell phone. I pulled over at a gas station, woke my baby up, drug him out of the car, went inside, & reported the driver. It was a real hassle. If I hadn't believed that people's lives were in danger, I wouldn't have done it. But I wasn't going to add ds to the list.

[Aubrey]

A sleeping child strapped in a car seat n a locked car w/ A/C for a very few minutes, depending on the place/time/etc is not likey to be in any danger at all, esp if there are people like us to help each other out. I am saddened that we live in a society where the first inclination is to report the parent to social servies or the police rather than be eyes for each other.

 

This is a very kind attitude, but I'm afraid that in most places, it actually puts people in *more* danger, not less. I think it gives a false sense of security.

[LibraryLover]

Thank-you.:iagree:

 

Imo, this topic is just another one of those parenting competitions. "I'll take 'Who is the Better Parent for 500', Alex", since nobody ever talks about helping each other. It's mostly a free -for -all to slam other parents.

[LibraryLover]

This is a very kind attitude, but I'm afraid that in most places, it actually puts people in *more* danger, not less. I think it gives a false sense of security.

 

 

I know. There's a pedophile terrorist on every corner.

[Tree House Academy]

Well (to the op)...what did you do? LOL

 

Personally, I think a lot of it depends on where you live. I live in a small town and I don't think a lot of it to leave my 10 year old and my almost 6 year old in the car while I run into the post office (which is all glass and I can see the car the whole time. It stays locked AND running. Older son sits in the front seat manning the locks till I get back. However, I can't imagine, say leaving a 4 year old alone in a car at wal-mart in the nearest city (about 100,000 people).

 

Even then, the occasion that I leave my kids in a car is RARE. (like once a year)

[wagnfun]

I'm sorry, but I think this is wrong. I don't think you should lie about being with CFSD. I don't see how two wrongs make a right--if your actions are illegal as well, how can that send a message about obeying the law?

 

I do not dispute your right to make a big deal out of this, but why not just tell the father that his actions are illegal? You could even carry copies with a printout of the law in question to hand out if you feel strongly. But I don't think you should claim a legal authority you do not have.

 

Although in a black/white situation I agree with you. My situation was that it was approx 12 years ago- that was pre-everyone has a cell phone so I couldnt' just "call the cops", it was in a BAD neighborhood (highly known gang activity) and the store was a large warehouse type (costco) type. The child was 3 and told me daddy went to buy a

refrigerator. As far as lying about the job, I had just resently quit my job with family services to stay home with my own kids. I knew what I was talking about. The law wasn't spelt out you can't leave children in a car at the time, it was however not uncommon for a parent to be charged with endangerment or neglect in this situation. Now, 12 yrs later, I wouldn't claim I worked for them, I'd call the police directly.

[swellmomma]

Not. ever. Not w/ 4 dc, not if one of them's sleeping, not under any circumstances. Not w/ a baby & pg. ANY errand can be put off till later if I *that* badly don't want to get the kids out of the car. Or if not, then it's worth getting them out.

 

When ds8 was a baby, there was a drunk driver on the rd & I had no cell phone. I pulled over at a gas station, woke my baby up, drug him out of the car, went inside, & reported the driver. It was a real hassle. If I hadn't believed that people's lives were in danger, I wouldn't have done it. But I wasn't going to add ds to the list.

 

I don't have the option of waiting, when things have to get done they have to get done. THere is no waiting for later, or for someone else to do it etc. There is days we have to go out and for example pick up my son's med's. There is no CVS here nor does the pharmacy that handles his meds have a drive thru. If it is storming out, or -40 or 2 of the 4 kids are asleep I will run in and pick it up. Or at the gas station for example. I do not use credit cards, I go to the gas station closest to home because it is typically 5-10 cents cheaper per litre than anywhere else, their pay at the pump does not accept debit cards, so I have to go in. I don't leave my little ones alone, but my big kids are 10 and almost 11, with them in the car I have no problem leaving all the kids for a few minutes.

 

Then again I am the one that lets them ride their bikes several blocks to a friend's house, or walk around the lake alone(well techinally together but without an adult). I think those 2 things have a higher risk than waiting in teh car for a couple minutes yet I still let them do it.

[springmama]

I'm actually surprised to see so many people who buckle kids into carseats before returning the shopping cart. When you get to the store, you have to walk to kids into the store with you to get the cart, right? So how come it is so hard to push cart to car, unload car, then push cart to store w/kids and then walk kids back to car and buckle them into seats when you getting into car yourself?

 

I must not be very bright, because it never occurred to me to buckle the kids in before returning the cart. I just make them come with me or park directly next to a cart return station.

[Aubrey]

I know. There's a pedophile terrorist on every corner.

 

Jeepers. That & your comment above are really snarky. Hard as it may be to believe, those of us who are concerned about the pedophile terrorists, heat related deaths, car thiefs, & toddlers who might escape from their carseats...

 

are actually concerned for the welfare of the children in question. I'd sacrifice my dignity in a NY minute if a stranger saved one of my children from a life-threatening situation I'd put them in & be glad the stranger was there. That's what I consider helping ea other out.

[wagnfun]

Not. ever. Not w/ 4 dc, not if one of them's sleeping, not under any circumstances. Not w/ a baby & pg. ANY errand can be put off till later if I *that* badly don't want to get the kids out of the car. Or if not, then it's worth getting them out.

 

When ds8 was a baby, there was a drunk driver on the rd & I had no cell phone. I pulled over at a gas station, woke my baby up, drug him out of the car, went inside, & reported the driver. It was a real hassle. If I hadn't believed that people's lives were in danger, I wouldn't have done it. But I wasn't going to add ds to the list.

 

I'm with Aubrey. I was once told and think this way, that pretend your child is a bag with a million dollars in it. Would you leave a bag with a million dollars sitting on a seat when you go into a store to grab milk? No, more then likely not. My child is worth way more then any financial amount so I don't leave them alone in cars.

 

 

* noted, by child I mean child under 12 and I dont' mean to pump gas by a pay at the pump, you're not "leaving" your child then

[sheryl]

In the past month I have twice been confronted with this situation.

 

I was entering/leaving a business to find a child in a car, parked outside the door of business, totally alone in the car. I glanced inside to make sure there wasn't another person who was out of view.

 

The child was out of visual range of the parent who was inside the business (I obviously didn't know where the parent was at first glance). I surveyed the immediate area to make sure the parent wasn't near by. Neither parent saw me looking in the car, to prove that they were not in line of sight with the child.

 

They were left alone for more than 2 minutes (the time it took for me to realize what was happening and to stop and assess the situation and to realize the parent wasn't just away for a second or two.)

 

The child was in a car that was running, had a/c or the windows down so immediate heat danger was not present.

 

The child was 2-4yo, buckled in a car seat.

 

 

I will say what I did after I get some responses because I want to know what others would do.

 

 

I have experienced this more often than I care to remember. Once was about 13-14 years ago. From what I remember, I do believe this was an infant or very young child under 2 years. Windows closed. Don't remember the month, but it was not winter. A few minutes passed and no adult to rescue this child. So, I entered the store and notified the manager. They made announcement on p.a. system and mother came out!

 

That is just one example. It's happened 3 times all together with children/infants! Also, a similar situation with an older man in a car. He was asleep, but I didn't know it. Windows closed....hot here in NC. His head was back, car not running. I tapped on window and talked to him. He assured me he was OK.

 

I've had to call 911 before also. I do NOT believe in nosy=ness or big brother, but these are precious human lives. And, in each case I waited a little bit to give the benefit of the doubt to the adult returning to car. After a time when I saw no one, I acted.

 

I wish now I would have literally "prayed" for the adult to return, FIRST. But, my conscious is clear that I did NOT act impulsively....as I said I waited a few short minutes to see if anyone returned. It's wrong under any cirucmstance, but also the hot weather here can kill people in that situation. Cold weather could too if left alone for extended periods. Additionally a running car is completely insane....all of these I experienced were not running, but still inappropriate. That is the point, it's inappropriate under any circumstance.

[Aubrey]

I don't have the option of waiting, when things have to get done they have to get done. THere is no waiting for later, or for someone else to do it etc. There is days we have to go out and for example pick up my son's med's. There is no CVS here nor does the pharmacy that handles his meds have a drive thru. If it is storming out, or -40 or 2 of the 4 kids are asleep I will run in and pick it up. Or at the gas station for example. I do not use credit cards, I go to the gas station closest to home because it is typically 5-10 cents cheaper per litre than anywhere else, their pay at the pump does not accept debit cards, so I have to go in. I don't leave my little ones alone, but my big kids are 10 and almost 11, with them in the car I have no problem leaving all the kids for a few minutes.

 

Then again I am the one that lets them ride their bikes several blocks to a friend's house, or walk around the lake alone(well techinally together but without an adult). I think those 2 things have a higher risk than waiting in teh car for a couple minutes yet I still let them do it.

 

The OP's talking about a toddler. In the situations you described above, I'd take my kids in w/ me, but they're not as old as yours. I'm not sure how I'll feel when the oldest are older, but when I say wait for later, I don't mean that dh will go do it. He works 2 jobs & is in school. I don't want to pretend that I can imagine how hard it would be to do everything on my own, but at the age of the child described in the OP, I wouldn't leave him/her. No matter what.

[LibraryLover]

Jeepers. That & your comment above are really snarky. Hard as it may be to believe, those of us who are concerned about the pedophile terrorists, heat related deaths, car thiefs, & toddlers who might escape from their carseats...

 

are actually concerned for the welfare of the children in question. I'd sacrifice my dignity in a NY minute if a stranger saved one of my children from a life-threatening situation I'd put them in & be glad the stranger was there. That's what I consider helping ea other out.

 

 

You might be reading in snarly, but i am not saying it snarky. If you thought there was a terrorist pedophile on every corner you wouldn't be upset by the comment. You'd be giving me a thumb's up or an :iagree:

 

People have fears overblown to the reality.

[Aubrey]

You might be reading in snarly, but i am not saying it snarky. If you thought there was a terrorist pedophile on every corner you wouldn't be upset by the comment. You'd be giving me a thumb's up or an :iagree:

 

People have fears overblown to the reality.

 

Oh, I see. You were sincere. See, I thought you were being sarcastic & making fun of people who believe the laws are in place to protect children.

 

In that case, :iagree:

[FO4UR]

I would wait a few minutes and then call the cops.

 

fwiw - I never leave my kids alone in a vehicle - ever - I pay at the pump or drag them all in with me. I take them all with me to the PO when I must, and I either park by the cart corral or leave the cart on the median in the parking lot. (....and when one has 3 little ones 3yo and under, AFTER the long trip through the grocery store - walking them all back across the lot is not an easy deal:glare:....now mine are older it's not a big deal, but I left many-a-cart in the lot in my time.)

 

Pedophiles and car theives are looking for opportunities to take kids and steal cars. I don't live in urgent fear daily...but I don't walk around being an easy target either. Even if you can see your vehicle from inside a gas station window, what can you do from there if someone hops in the front seat and drives off???? not much aside call the cops....

[LibraryLover]

Oh, I see. You were sincere. See, I thought you were being sarcastic & making fun of people who believe the laws are in place to protect children.

 

In that case, :iagree:

 

I was sincere. The children are safe because some of us are watching, without thinking the parents need to be arrested or have a CPS investigation. Thanks. :D And :grouphug:

[AuntieM]

For those who said they would never leave their children in a car, do you mean even at places where the car never leaves your sight (such as going into a gas station)?

 

Especially at a gas station. These are often located near highway access and may be visited by transients. Your kids could be gone superfast. I do pay-at-the-pump or they all come in with me (pain in the fanny, yes, but much better than a negative alternative).

[Quad Shot Academy]

If I saw a child in a car with the keys in the ignition, I would be quite upset for fear that someone would steal the car with the child inside and for fear that ANY child would start to drive the car. Thankfully I have only seen kids left alone in a car once (other than a gas station.)

 

But, I would like to point out that some cars have remote ignition systems. I can run my car by pressing a button on my key chain and it will heat or cool the car, but the car will not be able to drive. So, just because someone's engine is running, don't assume that the keys are in the car.

[BillieBoy]

 

The child was in a car that was running, had a/c or the windows down so immediate heat danger was not present.

 

The child was 2-4yo, buckled in a car seat.

 

 

I will say what I did after I get some responses because I want to know what others would do.

 

WASHINGTON: 46.61.685

Leaving Children unattended in standing vehicle with motor running-Penalty.

It is unlawful for any person, while operating or in charge of a vehicle, to park or willfully allow such vehicle to stand upon a public highway or in a public place with its motor running, leaving a minor child or children under the age of sixteen years unattended in the vehicle.

 

I would have waited for that parent and explained the law. This same thing has happened to me and that is what I did. Of course all I got was a sneer from an obvious young teen mom that felt the risk was worth her Red Bull and a pack of smokes.

 

BTW I never leave dd unattended in a car running or not; not for ATM's, gas, cart returns, nothing. Can that extra hassle free minute ever be justified if it was that ONE minute when something could happen? How many times do we hear moms say "If I had just ......" :confused:

[Blessedfamily]

For those who said they would never leave their children in a car, do you mean even at places where the car never leaves your sight (such as going into a gas station)?

 

Yes. Even at those places.

 

I'm not arguing about a running car, but don't many 5 and 6 year old children walk to school? Here they are expected to. What would be the difference?

 

I hear you though. I don't leave my kids alone.

 

The bus crosses a tiny road to pick up even the middle school kids here. Personally, I think they could use a crossing guard for such a small street, but I think they don't because they'd have to traverse the busy school parking lot once crossed.

 

A friend of mine also had the police called because she left her kids in the car to return a cart to the store. That is ridiculous! I would rather have my kids safe in the car than spending any more time in a parking lot while I returned a cart! That is why I said I would stay by the car for 5 minutes (at least) before calling the police.

 

Yeah. I generally believe in returning carts, but not if it means leaving my kids unattended. I try to park next to corrals, though that could mean dings to my car.

 

I only go to the gas station if I can pay at the pump and stand right there with the kids - car off, doors open. I know where all the drive thru ATMs are, too, because yes, if I get out, my kids are getting out.

 

I only pay at the pump too, but I lock the door so noone can hop in the other side.

[AuntieM]

It's interesting that opinions shift based on the age of the child. I understand that due to the helplessness of an infant, however, last statistic I heard stated was that the biggest group targeted for abduction by pedophiles is boys in the 12 to 14 age range.

 

And part of me thinks that this group might also be really tempted to try driving if those keys were there, plugged in and ready to go...!

 

I didn't think about the car's AC malfunctioning or being turned to a heat setting by mistake, maybe I would wait only a couple of minutes for a parent rather than the 10 I stated earlier.

[Jean in Newcastle]

BillyBoy - it is interesting that you posted that. I had just googled information on WA state law too. I saw that while it is illegal to leave a child younger than 16 in a running car, the only law re. leaving children unattended in a parked car is that it is illegal to do so in front of a tavern!

[Blessedfamily]

I used the ATM the other day and took the kids out of the car. I was talking to myself out loud and said, "Let's go because I never leave my kids in the car alone." My 5yo Smartypants said, "You left us in the car when you pumped gas." I said, "I was standing at the pump just outside the car." She said, "Just outside the car is the point.":glare:

[Lovedtodeath]

I just wanted to say that my children will be safer in the future due to this thread. :) Some good was done.

[freeindeed]

In the past month I have twice been confronted with this situation.

 

I was entering/leaving a business to find a child in a car, parked outside the door of business, totally alone in the car. I glanced inside to make sure there wasn't another person who was out of view.

 

The child was out of visual range of the parent who was inside the business (I obviously didn't know where the parent was at first glance). I surveyed the immediate area to make sure the parent wasn't near by. Neither parent saw me looking in the car, to prove that they were not in line of sight with the child.

 

They were left alone for more than 2 minutes (the time it took for me to realize what was happening and to stop and assess the situation and to realize the parent wasn't just away for a second or two.)

 

The child was in a car that was running, had a/c or the windows down so immediate heat danger was not present.

 

The child was 2-4yo, buckled in a car seat.

 

 

I will say what I did after I get some responses because I want to know what others would do.

 

I'd call the police.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I agree. If heat isn't a concern, I'd give it some time. Either that or not worry about it. Really. I remember waiting in the car for my grandmother or my parents hanging half-way out of the windows of the car in blazing heat.

 

There is no way I'd call the police unless I saw someone trying to abduct the kid or if the kid was locked in and it was too hot. What happened to just talking to parents about this stuff. If the kid isn't in danger, why make trouble for them?

Edited August 11, 2009 by Old Dominion Heather

[the4Rs]

I am the minority then. I will not leave them alone if I am going into the grocery store, walmart, the like because I'll be in there for over five minutes. But I leave them in the car all the time when I run into CVS to buy milk, or the gas station while I run in and pay or the library to get some books saved for me...and they are 5 and almost 3.

 

I happen to live in a rather small town where people look out for each other so I don't worry about it. When we go to the neighboring larger cities, my kids get out with me every time.

 

I wouldn't even think twice about a child in a car if I pulled up and ran into a store. Now if I was in there for a good 10 minutes and when I came out they were still alone in the car in the same spot, I'd worry. I wouldn't initially jump to conclusions that the parents are misfits. Bad things CAN happen to kids left unattended in a car, but so can bad things happen in your own home. Remember Elizabeth Smart? It is smart to be cautious and look out for others but the posse shouldn't call in the calvary without assessing the situation. Sometimes it is in order, sometimes it isn't.

 

My very unpopular two cents.

[WTMCassandra]

Now, 12 yrs later, I wouldn't claim I worked for them, I'd call the police directly.

 

I'm glad to hear this.

 

The only reason I said anything was that in your previous statement, you indicated otherwise.

 

You started out the post with "what I have done and what I will do again . . ." and then you said "Did I lie? Yes I no longer had any affiliation with CFSD. Was it illegal? Yes. Would I go there again? Yes or, if my kids were with me or if I felt it wasn't safe to do what I did again, I'd call the location police dept."

 

That was why I felt I should speak up that I believed it was wrong.

[Kissy]

A couple years ago I read a story about a child that the mother went into the store to pay for gas and someone hopped in the car and drove off with her child still in the carseat..The mom ran out but it was too late they were gone. The person driving realized a child was in the car and ditched the car about 10 miles or so down the road. The child was safe when found and everything because apparently the person only wanted the car. What if they had been a pedophile? I don't leave my kids in the car ever. I have saw a child left outside a petsmart that was in a shopping a center with 4 other stores and a walmart. I called the police immediately. So my vote for what you should have done is call the police.

[5knights3maidens]

Quite a few years ago I pulled up next to a car with a child, about 2 years old, strapped in the carseat with no windows open and no adult. I sat outside the store for over 20 minutes. I did call the police and no one ever came. When the man came out I said something and he got into the car and sped away. I always wonder if he was really the dad or not.

[BillieBoy]

BillyBoy - it is interesting that you posted that. I had just googled information on WA state law too. I saw that while it is illegal to leave a child younger than 16 in a running car, the only law re. leaving children unattended in a parked car is that it is illegal to do so in front of a tavern!

 

:001_huh: Great! That must be so if the parent gets drunk they wouldn't be able to cross the parking lot to find the kids they left in their car next door. :glare:

[Renee in NC]

It's against the law here and that law has been very well advertised (so everyone should know it). You can't even do that if it's in your own driveway. I would call the police. My middle dd could easily get out of her carseat at that age and I think my other two could have if they had tried. Anything could have happened in a running car with a young child in it! Yep, I would call the police, mainly because I'm not brave enough to confront people like that. You never know who has a carry permit and has had a bad day!

Melissa

 

Here is the law in FL:

 

FSS 316.6135 Leaving children unattended or unsupervised in motor vehicle; penalty; authority of law enforcement officer.

 

1. No parent, legal guardian, or other person responsible for a child younger than 6 years of age shall leave such child unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle for a period in excess of 15 minutes; however, no such person shall leave a child unattended for any period of time if the motor vehicle is running or the health of the child is in danger.

2. Any person who violates the provisions of subsection (1) is guilty of a noncriminal traffic infraction, punishable by a fine of:

* Not more than $100; or

* Not less than $50 and not more than $500 if the motor vehicle was running or the health of the child was in danger at the time of the violation.

 

3. Any law enforcement officer who observes a child left unattended or unsupervised in a motor vehicle in violation of subsection (1) may use whatever means are reasonably necessary to protect the minor child and to remove him from the vehicle.

4. If the child is removed from the immediate area notification should be placed on the vehicle.

5. The child shall be remanded to the custody of the Department of Health and Rehabilitative Services pursuant to chapter 39, unless the law enforcement officer is able to locate the parents or legal guardian or other person responsible for the child.

 

http://www.flhsmv.gov/fhp/html/floridalaw/fllaw.html

 

So, reading this, it would have been fine if the car were not running and the windows down (to prevent heatstroke?)

Edited August 11, 2009 by Renee in FL

[AuntieM]

So, reading this, it would have been fine if the car were not running and the windows down (to prevent heatstroke?)

 

 

Depends on how you define "fine." Legal, yes, but this statute seems to only address the climate danger issue. It doesn't take into account the ease of abduction, especially if your windows are rolled down.

[Renee in NC]

So, reading this, it would have been fine if the car were not running and the windows down (to prevent heatstroke?)

 

 

Depends on how you define "fine." Legal, yes, but this statute seems to only address the climate danger issue. It doesn't take into account the ease of abduction, especially if your windows are rolled down.

 

No, I agree with you, but thought the law was a little nuts!:D

 

My question is what does alone mean? Can I leave a child under 6 in the car with an older child? How old does the supervising child have to be? I left my 5 youngest children in the van with my 11yo today while I ran in a gas station this morning. The vehicle was running and the doors were locked. I was in the store under 5 minutes.

 

Did I break the law?

[joannqn]

My biggest worry about leaving a child unattended in a car, even a locked car, even for a minute or two, is kidnapping. It doesn't take but a minute to break into a car.

 

That being said, the only time I leave my kids in the car is in front of my house. And, when I do, the car is NOT running and all doors are locked. I only do this if I'm running inside to grab "that piece of paper I forgot on the dining room table" which is in full view of the front door...so my eyes are never off the car. Other than that, I don't care what the kids are doing or what they think, they come inside with me.

 

I found a young child in a car at Safeway once. There's no way the parent could have been watching him. I waited at the car for several minutes before leaving him and trying to get the manager to take care of it. He wouldn't do anything.

 

Another time, I was on a walk in my neighborhood when I happened upon an infant SCREAMING in his carseat in an unlocked car. The house door was open but I was out there watching this child for several minutes and the parent never came out to see why there was a stranger hanging out inches from her car. I finally knocked on the door.

[SquirrellyMama]

I've left my kids in the car (not running, doors locked, windows cracked) when I had to go to the post office, $ store or gas station. In all three of those places I can see my car. I wouldn't leave the car running just in case someone jumped in and drove off.

 

Kelly

[Guest Katia]

This thread has been very interesting to read. So, I've thought about WWID and.....this is going to be hugely unpopular...but, it's me. It's what I'd do.

 

Nothing. At.all.

 

I'd let the parent be the parent and make the parenting decisions for their own child. It is simply amazing to me that so many people feel that because the decision this parent made was different to what they would have made, it gives them the right to call the police, or stay and lam bast the parent, or any other option.

[Audrey]

In the past month I have twice been confronted with this situation.

 

I was entering/leaving a business to find a child in a car, parked outside the door of business, totally alone in the car. I glanced inside to make sure there wasn't another person who was out of view.

 

The child was out of visual range of the parent who was inside the business (I obviously didn't know where the parent was at first glance). I surveyed the immediate area to make sure the parent wasn't near by. Neither parent saw me looking in the car, to prove that they were not in line of sight with the child.

 

They were left alone for more than 2 minutes (the time it took for me to realize what was happening and to stop and assess the situation and to realize the parent wasn't just away for a second or two.)

 

The child was in a car that was running, had a/c or the windows down so immediate heat danger was not present.

 

The child was 2-4yo, buckled in a car seat.

 

 

I will say what I did after I get some responses because I want to know what others would do.

 

 

I always report it at the nearest store (to where ever the car is parked, ETA: stores are required to call the cops when they get such a report) or I call in the non-emergency police line myself. It is a crime to do that where I live (child endangerment). I don't have any qualms about calling the cops either. There is absolutely no excuse for leaving a child in a car. I think people who do that are ... a word I can't use on this forum.

Edited August 11, 2009 by Audrey

[BillieBoy]

This thread has been very interesting to read. So, I've thought about WWID and.....this is going to be hugely unpopular...but, it's me. It's what I'd do.

 

Nothing. At.all.

 

I'd let the parent be the parent and make the parenting decisions for their own child. It is simply amazing to me that so many people feel that because the decision this parent made was different to what they would have made, it gives them the right to call the police, or stay and lam bast the parent, or any other option.

 

Actually it might be an unpopular view on these boards but that is exactly what the majority of people would do. There are so many case studies of people not advocating for a child because they thought they should mind their own business.

 

Sometimes it is just not a bad parenting choice..... it is the law, as in this case.

[Mrs. Frankweiler]

I haven't read through all the posts, but I don't have a problem leaving the kids in the car if I can see the car at all times, and only if I'll be gone less than 5 minutes. If it ends up taking longer, then I'll go back and get them. Also, I feel better if lots of people (i.e. parent-types) are milling around. For example, I don't mind leaving my other kids in the car when I run my daughter into gymnastics because I know a lot of other moms and dads will be walking around the parking lot.

 

I also think that calling the police is way overreacting. I heard a story where a mother was arrested for leaving her sick, sleeping kids in the car while she went into the pharmacy to pick up their medications. I think that's ridiculous. I think if you're that worried, it's a good idea to stick around the car to make sure the kid stays safe.

 

Also, (and I'm sure I'll take a beating over this one!) I think the unwillingness to take a child (or children) out of a car is in direct relation to the number of kids involved. If only one kid is with me....sure, they get out every time. When I have all four kids....it's less likely they'll all come out (although I will often bring 1 or 2 of the less compliant ones with me.) Dragging everyone out of the car can sometimes turn a 2-minute errand into a 10 minute, painful process where you end up wondering if the thing you need to do is really that important in the first place.

 

I vote that every establishment have a drive through so that harried moms (like me) don't have to make these stressful decisions. ;)

[Jan in SC]

OK Tap... what did YOU do?????

[Colleen in SEVA]

It is simply amazing to me that so many people feel that because the decision this parent made was different to what they would have made, it gives them the right to call the police, or stay and lam bast the parent, or any other option.

 

:iagree:

 

I was also surprised by how many people would have gotten the police involved... but it is hard to say what I would have done under certain circumstances.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'd let the parent be the parent and make the parenting decisions for their own child. It is simply amazing to me that so many people feel that because the decision this parent made was different to what they would have made, it gives them the right to call the police, or stay and lam bast the parent, or any other option.

 

Yeah, well, I also called CPS when a mother gave her 1yr old son a sleeping pill. And when the foster kid (special needs btw) I watched had what appeared to be belt marks across her backside, I called then also. So yeah, I call the authorities when people put their children in danger or break the law. And sometimes I think worse of people, especially when they continue doing the same thing over and over but keep whining about getting the same results over and over. I'm human and think that is silly at best (and downright dangerous in some situations).

 

Generally, I care about people. The idea isn't to get the parent who leaves her baby in the car into trouble. I simply want the child supervised so he doesn't hurt someone or get hurt.

 

And I really feel that way. MANY times I have mentioned that CPS came to visit me when my daughter was about a year old. My daughter had gotten a minor injury (didn't cry type minor) due to something I didn't protect her from. I told a few people. One of those people called CPS. I told the worker that she had never done anything like that before (and btw, never did again) and I just hadn't thought of that concern. I was within 2-3 ft of her when the situation happened. And I made sure it could never happen again. But THANKFULLY someone cared enough about my daughter. I think it could have been handled differently (I would never call CPS for something like that), but I'm glad someone did SOMETHING when they thought a child might be in danger.

 

So yes, I feel that way even when I'm on the other end of things. Children have very little, if any, voice. They NEED people to protect them. If their parents don't, then....

[swellmomma]

I always report it at the nearest store (to where ever the car is parked, ETA: stores are required to call the cops when they get such a report) or I call in the non-emergency police line myself. It is a crime to do that where I live (child endangerment). I don't have any qualms about calling the cops either. There is absolutely no excuse for leaving a child in a car. I think people who do that are ... a word I can't use on this forum.

 

Well then I guess I am one of those people to be called the word you couldn't use.

[Tap]

Wow, I went to the dentist and came back to 100 posts :D

 

 

One time was in front of a TJMaxx clothing store. I stepped inside to get security, the mother overheard, tried to argue the kid was safe because she could 'see him'-which she absolutely couldn't, and I told her firmly to get her kid "Now, or I would call the police". She kept trying to argue, and I told her again it was illegal and I was going to call the police. She left the store, parked her car (it had been parked illegally while she shopped for clothes) and returned to the store to pay with the child in tow.

 

The second time was in front of the daycare I use. I waited for a minute to see if the parent just stepped inside to retrieve an errant item. Then I realized she was the parent who was inside talking to the staff about bringing her son (I assume the same child), and filling out paperwork. Again, I went inside, verified it was her child, and told her "get your son now, or I will call the police" in a very firm, no nonsense tone. She left the daycare, got in her car, and drove away. I apologized to the director of the daycare for costing her a client, and she said that if they knew, they would have intervened too.

 

 

Both times I was very shocked to find my self in the circumstance and really just reacted to the situation. My immediate thought was to call the police and CPS but I decided instead to get the child taken care of immediately and that was to get the parent to react to the situation. While the situation is a legal one of neglect, I do see it very different than on of physical/immediate danger neglect-abuse. I do hope that by these parents being confronted about their actions will make them think twice next time. Had either child been in distress, I would have reacted very differently. I could clearly see that both times the child appeared to be content and not in foreseeable danger. Had the parent not been immediately accessible, I would have no doubt called 911.

 

 

Due to this happening twice so close together, dh and I have had several disscussions about how I could have/should have handled it. I really appreciate how many people have given thier points of view. I don't really think that my behavior of engaging the parent is wise, and I have been wondering about how I could better handle the situation in the future.

 

 

Thanks,

~Tap

[kalanamak]

This thread has been very interesting to read. So, I've thought about WWID and.....this is going to be hugely unpopular...but, it's me. It's what I'd do.

 

Nothing. At.all.

 

I'd let the parent be the parent and make the parenting decisions for their own child. It is simply amazing to me that so many people feel that because the decision this parent made was different to what they would have made, it gives them the right to call the police, or stay and lam bast the parent, or any other option.

 

In my area, it is against the law to leave your car running even without a child in it!! Too many thefts. I think there are a lot more car thieves out there than baby-nappers. I'd stay by the car, looking parental, until parent arrived. Poor baby didn't decide to put themselves at the mercy of a car thief.

Edited August 11, 2009 by kalanamak