nursing in public and modesty

[8circles]

To tell you the truth, the fact that we put the words "breastfeeding" and "modesty" in the same sentence disturbs me.

 

:iagree: It pains me to hear these conversations.

[Orthodox6]

The juxtaposition does not disturb me at all because of what I wrote already -- that different cultures and different religions have their own definitions of "modesty." The general movement in the U.S., I thought, is to respect this diversity with respect to nursing.

 

 

To tell you the truth, the fact that we put the words "breastfeeding" and "modesty" in the same sentence disturbs me.

[Orthodox6]

It is not ok to harrass a nursing mother. I don't like discourtesy, no matter what direction it travels.

 

I do, however, believe it is appropriate to ask a nursing mother, who is inside of a church or any other place of worship, to use a light cover. In this case, "the place" takes precedence.

 

I don't take this to mean that it is wrong to use a blanket, but that it is out of line for others to make a woman feel like she NEEDS a blanket. I don't see why it is ok for someone to walk up to a woman breastfeeding and ask her to use a blanket...

[lionfamily1999]

I have a friend who used to totally bare both breasts (F sized) and nurse for 30-40 minutes. I know her well and she is a bit of an exhibitionist. I say 'as long as they are discreet' because I think of this as a non-discreet mom.

 

I love to see women nursing babies, I nursed mine, but I do think they should be discreet. I don't think they need to be covered with anything more than the moms shirt, but I don't want to see the unused breast languishing for 30-40 minutes. A couple of minutes of a totally bared chest...no problem. I also don't think they need to move from any public area.

I always gushed out of the unused one, so I would have baby on one side and a bath towel stuffed over the other side (other moms had burb rags, I had to bring bath towels and grocery bags to stuff them in once I was done and they were soaked).

 

I could not imagine just letting fly like that.

[SheilaZ]

It is not ok to harrass a nursing mother. I don't like discourtesy, no matter what direction it travels.

 

I do, however, believe it is appropriate to ask a nursing mother, who is inside of a church or any other place of worship, to use a light cover. In this case, "the place" takes precedence.

 

Cover up even if they aren't showing anything? I mean it's one thing to just flop everything out in the open and another to be discrete.

 

I'd take offense to someone asking me to cover up strictly because I was nursing. To mean breastfeeding modestly means not flashing the general population. When I was nursing, if you saw anything other than a baby up against my shirt, then you were looking way too closely and staring.

The only time I used a cover up was when I was nursing at the bead in a one piece swimsuit. (I had to exit out the top with nothing to cover me.)

[tricia]

I too have no problem nursing in public. My babies get hungry while out and about same as anyone else and I feed on the spot. I do however use a light cover for them. (Most of the time:001_smile:) But I am sure that I am not sharing their dinner plate to any other eyes.:lol:

[Geo]

Yes, it's a real product!

 

A friend of mine has one of these...but failed to mention the name. I understand why. They are clever and attractive (for those who want to use them), but MY, the name!

Two steps forward, one step back.

 

Geo

Edited July 28, 2009 by Geo

[Terabith]

I say other because while it doesn't bother me, I know it bothers a lot of people, and that bothers me. LOL It is the reason I didn't BF at all. I didn't want to be a prisoner in my own home. I didn't want to worry that someone might be offended. I didn't want people to insist I stick a blanket over my child's head. Who wants to eat with a blanket over their head (in 90 degree weather)? I guess I'm thoroughly disgusted by the fact this has to be discussed.

 

THIS is what bothers me!!!! Not that Wendy chose not to breastfeed, but because our society is so messed up that a mother felt she had to choose between being a prisoner in her own home and feeding her child the food God intended and that is the best for the baby! When anyone feels they must choose between the sensibilities of persons in public and the needs of their baby, the fact that our socity makes that an issue INFURIATES me! To be honest, I think that blankets and hooter hiders draw attention to the fact of nursing. If it makes the mother more comfortable, then that's great! If it makes the baby less distracted, awesome! But it shouldn't be REQUIRED! Of all the issues of modesty, this one is by far the silliest. This is the ONE instance of modesty in which what is being displayed is being used for its intended purpose rather than to titillate or attract. I hope my future sons see lots of women breastfeeding in public. It's the number one best way to normalize it. It's 100% different than immodest clothing. And honestly, how often do you see women nursing in public who are doing it in an immodest fashion. It's possible that one would get a peek, especially if it's a distractable baby, but the baby generally covers up any flesh. I have personally never seen a mother being flagrantly indiscreet while nursing her baby.

 

I understand that some people may be uncomfortable seeing breastfeeding, but I want to (gently) say that perhaps that is because they have not seen it enough. It has not become normalized as part of our culture, and that is to the detriment of infants and mothers.

[OHGrandma]

I always gushed out of the unused one, so I would have baby on one side and a bath towel stuffed over the other side (other moms had burb rags, I had to bring bath towels and grocery bags to stuff them in once I was done and they were soaked).

 

I could not imagine just letting fly like that.

 

Shortly before I had my first, I was in a meeting with mostly ladies and we were sitting in a circle. One lady nursed her baby, the baby choked and came up for air. Milk squirted all over the vinyl floor. That convinced me a lightweight blanket or diaper would have been real handy!

I usually used the thin, unfolded diapers. They were thin enough they were not hot, could be used as a sun screen if we were outside, absorbant enough that it'd help catch overflow from me or baby, it helped keep the baby from being distracted by other things, etc. A loose T-shirt also made it easy to discreetly feed the baby. In more formal settings, like church, I felt more comfortable finding a more private place.

Oh, I feel sympathy for anyone who thinks nursing will tie you down. I found it to be very freeing. Where ever I went, baby went; always a fresh supply of milk no matter what, always the correct temperature, ready when baby was hungry, and *no bottles to wash*!

[MomLovesClassics]

For our family it is somewhat the opposite. My children have never been fed with a bottle and so the little ones are always very curious about that bottle. :001_huh:

(I have been blessed as a stay at home mom who feels naturally comfortable feeding my babies where ever we are. I have never had to leave them - could have, just didn't want to - with anyone where they would miss a meal.)

 

My kids never had a bottle or a pacifier. But I have seen many bottles and binkies out in public. I would like to see more people comfortable feeding their babies as nature intended with mommy milk, than formula.

[AndyJoy]

It is not ok to harrass a nursing mother. I don't like discourtesy, no matter what direction it travels.

 

I do, however, believe it is appropriate to ask a nursing mother, who is inside of a church or any other place of worship, to use a light cover. In this case, "the place" takes precedence.

 

I'm curious why a church should be different from anywhere else in this regard. If it is modest and appropriate to nurse in public without a cover (discreetly) among people who are more likely to see a woman's breast as as s*xual object, why is it not modest and appropriate among fellow churchgoers, who should theoretically be more inclined to recognize God's plan for the feeding of infants? Or, is it more important to not offend other churchgoers than to not offend the world at large?

[skaterbabs]

I do, however, believe it is appropriate to ask a nursing mother, who is inside of a church or any other place of worship, to use a light cover. In this case, "the place" takes precedence.

 

No, it isn't. It's disrepectful to the child, the mother, and God. If God had intended chldren be fed under a blanket he would have made breasts far less visible.

 

Mary sure didn't use a blanket when she fed Jesus. But then her culture didn't use breasts to sell calendars and cars.

 

Cover up even if they aren't showing anything? I mean it's one thing to just flop everything out in the open and another to be discrete.

 

I'd take offense to someone asking me to cover up strictly because I was nursing. To mean breastfeeding modestly means not flashing the general population. When I was nursing, if you saw anything other than a baby up against my shirt, then you were looking way too closely and staring.

The only time I used a cover up was when I was nursing at the bead in a one piece swimsuit. (I had to exit out the top with nothing to cover me.)

 

 

:iagree:

[LibraryLover]

No, it isn't. It's disrepectful to the child, the mother, and God. If God had intended chldren be fed under a blanket he would have made breasts far less visible.

 

Mary sure didn't use a blanket when she fed Jesus. But then her culture didn't use breasts to sell calendars and cars.

 

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

Which made me think of Mary in the marketplace...when the babe needed to nurse, did she ever have to say to Joseph, "Will you please finish the marketing? I need to go to the donkey to nurse".

Edited July 28, 2009 by LibraryLover

[myfunnybunch]

It doesn't bother me in any way.

 

However, when I was a nursing mom, I covered up. Not because I felt uncomfortable, but because I was aware that not every person around me was as comfortable as I was, and I wanted to respect their feelings.

 

Cat

[mommy2be]

This thread is awesome! It is very interesting to 'hear' all different points of view...

 

I nurse, it wasn't even a question in my mind if I was going to or not, it's just the way it is. I was nursed as a child, and saw many siblings nurse, so it's just the way it is! I have nursed in public if need be. I generally nurse in the (parked) car, or have slung it over the side of the car seat driving down the road if I needed to. I prefer to be discreet, but I do not use a cover. For one it makes it to hard to tell if the baby is latched correctly, and I wouldn't want to be covered up while I was trying to eat. It also kind of takes away one of the most special parts of nursing - which is the bonding experience and eye contact. I love to watch my son nurse, and talk to him, and see him grin at me. :001_smile:

 

The idea that nursing would tie a mother down is so silly! I feel exactly the opposite. For instance - my niece is a formula fed baby... so if they didn't pack enough formula in the diaper bag and she gets hungry then they have to run home (usually while she cries the whole time)! How is that better? I wonder things like "Gee, what if their car broke down and they were stranded somewhere and she got hungry???" That's no problem if you nurse! :tongue_smilie:

 

Plus, if you were really concerned about being tied down because you nurse then they have these things called breast pumps. It's this neat little machine that will help the mother express milk into a bottle so that if for any reason Mommy wasn't around the baby would still have the good stuff!

 

I'm not a modest dresser - I don't dress purposely to attract attention, but I have large books so some shirts just show them off and I sometimes have a hard time finding shirts that don't... to be honest my books probably show the same amount whether or not I'm nursing! :tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

It is not ok to harrass a nursing mother. I don't like discourtesy, no matter what direction it travels.

 

I do, however, believe it is appropriate to ask a nursing mother, who is inside of a church or any other place of worship, to use a light cover. In this case, "the place" takes precedence.

 

You do realise how many paintings and icons show Mary, the Theotokis, nursing the Christ child?

[momtolgd]

My children did not particularly like being covered while nursing past the age of a couple months old, and each of them nursed until close to the 2 year mark...and I did get quite good at being discreet! I would sometimes cover them to latch them on, then uncover them...then do the same to unlatch. I'm a modest person, so being discreet was important to me...but breastfeeding is/was so natural and beautiful, I don't feel it is something to hide.

[TeacherZee]

I have a feeling you are asking about a post I made on another forum. ;o)

 

If you are, here is a bit more information on the situation.

 

Our family went to a water park. We had all six of our children with us and our baby girl was hungry. I wore my nursing tankini--with swim skirt--top is two layers like a nursing top. ;o)

 

I sat down to feed her wrapped a towel around my shoulders that draped down across my chest. I was nursing her, she choked a bit and I sat her up, but am almost positive that I stayed covered, or if I didn't it was only for a split second. Anyhow, I noticed that a gal who was with a baby, was staring me down. I went back to nursing baby girl, when a life guard came over and told me I couldn't do "that" here, and I needed to go nurse in the bathroom. :glare:

 

I said "nurse"

 

"Yes"

 

"Umm, do you realize it is illegal for you to ask me to do that"

 

"no"

 

"Well, it is"

 

"She said that I needed to go on and get in there because people thought it was gross."

 

"I looked around me, and said what about these people with their swim suit straps untied and the front hanging down and barely covering their ni**les?"

 

"They don't want tan lines"

 

"well, she doesn't want to eat in the bathroom where people poop and the toilet sprays it around 15 ft. We will go in there, when everyone eating and drinking out here comes in there to eat and drink in there with us"

 

"I think you and your family should leave now"

 

"I think you should get the manager, I will be here waiting"

 

Manager never showed up, baby finished, and then we packed up and left. When I got home, I called and talked to the manager, and they have a no bfing rule. I explained and stated the law, and emailed it to the recreation commission, the city leaders, and the water park. We will see what happens.

 

When I nurse in public, I try to wear clothing that keeps me covered, and I lay something near baby's face to help keep me covered. With my babies, I have found that a blanket is less discreet as they kick, fuss and yank off the breast to get away from it.

 

How can a mom not nurse pool side, but people can walk around with very little on? I mean there was a gal there and her top only has strings and about a 2.5-3 inch triangle covering her. It did not cover all of her "B" at all. :glare:

 

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for standing up to them!!!!

 

My mum still refuses to go to a certain café in the town where we lived when I was little because they asked her to leave while she was discreetly* nursing me. Yup she still holds a grudge about that one :D

 

*with discreetly I mean that she wasn't flaunting it but she also didn't have me covered with a blanket, I didn't really like that sort of thing:D

 

I have no problem with women breastfeeding their child in public. To tell you the truth I probably wouldn't even notice, but now I might and I might tell them that they are awesome for it:001_smile:

[yslek]

I used a cover with B and sometimes with T. Partly because I didn't want to offend anyone, partly because I was shy, and partly because B would latch off a lot. By the time D came along, I hardly ever used a cover anymore, and I didn't use one at all with L. I had to see someone else discreetly latch on and nurse her baby w/o any covering to even get the idea of going without. Growing up, I saw many nursing mommies, but they all used blankets. I do find it much easier to nurse in public without a cover now that I've figured it out. As others have said, much less wiggling/struggling/tyring to throw the blanket off on the part of the wee ones. :)

 

My state has only recently guaranteed women the right to breastfeed. Fortunately, I've never been asked not to. I would have been very offended if I had.

 

On a silly note, check out one Victorian solution to the "modesty" issue. If you scroll down, you'll see a drawing of an "anti-embarrassment device". How crazy is that?! http://www.victoriaspast.com/Breastfeeding/breastfeed.htm

[beansprouts]

I haven't read the thread. I voted "no as long as she is discreet" and I wanted to explain my answer. In a mixed group of men and women, I think it is probably more polite for her to nurse discreetly, but I do not think this requires throwing a blanked over herself. In fact this often draws attention to the fact that she is nursing which could very well have gone unnoticed otherwise. I have had men, including my pastor, walk right up to me and start a conversation without noticing that the baby wasn't just "sleeping". ;-) If a woman in in the company of other women than I think she should be able to relax while nursing, and the same discretion is not necessary.

[kmacnchs]

I am MASSIVELY modest and very jealous over my husband, therefore, I would prefer that the mom cover up. I don't want anyone seeing me and concerning my children not wanting to be covered, I find a corner, or go to my car (A/C), and have the blanket on my shoulder, ready to cover IF someone walks by. As far as my husband goes, I don't want him to catch a sight of another woman's chest, no matter what she is using it for...just my 2c

[kmacnchs]

I have had men, including my pastor, walk right up to me and start a conversation without noticing that the baby wasn't just "sleeping". ;-)

 

This has happened A LOT to me (especially by young girls and boys) and they want to see the sleeping baby and wonder why I cover them up when they come up to me :blush:

[farmmom4him]

I'm not a modest dresser - I don't dress purposely to attract attention, but I have large books so some shirts just show them off and I sometimes have a hard time finding shirts that don't... to be honest my books probably show the same amount whether or not I'm nursing! :tongue_smilie:

 

Hehe, I soooooooo UNDERSTAND THIS!!!! I am a ton larger then I was when I got married. In fact when Hannah was born, she was in nicu, and not able to nurse, but I was a pumping nut case trying to make sure she would have milk when she was ready. I ended up having a ton--like over 3 gallons in their freezer. :lol: One morning I woke up and was like whoa--my bra band wouldn't even touch below, because the cups were so FULL. hehe :lol: So, dh had to go to a specialty shop to buy something for me cause I was leaking like crazy and wanted to go see baby girl. :lol:

 

They taught him how to measure me and he bought a bra for $50 for me. :lol: And it still fits. His mom was dieing :lol: because she didn't know they made them in that size. 36 J. His friends all thought it was hilarious. :lol:

 

Anyway, just a funny story to go along with this. I do try to be modest, but most shirts that fit the top look like maternity clothes around the waist because they are so big. Then i have the question of when are you due? :glare:

[Carrie12345]

I voted "discreet"- my definition being "Not appearing as though one is trying to earn tips." That's good enough for me!

[Alice]

It doesn't bother me at all. I know my dh used to find it uncomfortable when he was a single guy. He still probably finds it midly uncomfortable but now is more used to being around nursing women (me and other friends). He would never ask someone to cover or be upset by them nursing but I know when he was single he would have probably left the room himself if he could. I know (because we've talked about it) that he would have seen this more as just a quirk or his rather than that the woman was doing something wrong...but it still made him uncomfortable.

 

For that reason, I'm more careful to cover up or go into another room if we're in a big group and there are single men around. It's not that I feel that I have to but just that I feel it's nice to think about what they might be feeling. For example, I'm pretty careful not to nurse around my 90 yr old FIL or my single BIL. Not because I think it's wrong or I shouldn't but because I know they would find it really uncomfortable...especially my FIL. And sometimes it's just as important to respect others feelings even if I don't agree as it is to be right. Besides, sometimes in a family setting, having to go nurse in a quiet room is a good excuse to get away for a bit. :)

[Lovedtodeath]

I voted Other. I wish I could breastfeed in public without worrying about turning someone on... but I can't. For one thing my babies and toddlers will push bras, shirts, blankets, what have you as far away as they can. They also break latch and look around, etc. So "modestly bfing" is not possible after the first couple of months. I usually try to be dicreet... When my nephews are over I am sometimes uncomfortable with the amount of flashing they get, as they range in ager from 13-16 and grew up with formula feeders (except me, of course)

 

It doesn't bother me at all if a woman nurses her baby in public, covered or not. Women should never be made to feel like they HAVE to cover themselves to breastfeed.

Many times people are offended just b/c they know you are nursing, even if they see nothing.

 

It's pretty rare for a woman to blatantly act inappropriately in feeding their child....we don't want you looking at our goods any more than you wanna see 'em ;)

:iagree:

 

I have been exposed to breast-feeding women since I first understood the concept around age 10. It never seemed to me to be any different that holding the baby and sticking a bottle in their mouths. I never looked at it as naughty, arousing or vulgar. How else would the baby eat? This is one issue where I have a hard time being empathetic with those who oppose natural feeding. I just don't get it.

Thank you! But some men haven't been raised with your sense.

 

Wow. There was a similar situation as yours at a lake in our area a few years ago. A female park ranger who was unfamiliar with our state's bfing laws actually ticketed a woman for indecent exposure for breastfeeding on the beach, even though she had a towel covering her and was also under an umbrella. The ticket was voided, but still.

Yeah... she was covered up but b/c they knew what she was doing it was a problem.

 

We nursed long all dc and participated in activities to encourage bfing, but I will go against the grain here and say, in public, I have not problem with covering. By public I mean places filled with strangers.

 

1. I don't really want anyone looking at my br&@$ts. And people stare, like it or not.

 

2. Although I find them off base, it does offend some, so why not have a little modesty (no throwing vegetables at me, please).

 

At home, no need to cover. The Gilbert Gang all understands what those things are for. My kids had to be taught not to comment on bottles b/c they thought they were weird.

 

At a get together with close friends, only if I knew they would not be offended, no cover, but in public with strangers, I find no reason not to cover.

My babies are used to "no holds barred" nursing at home most of the time and they do not cooperate when I try to keep it "modest" in public.

[Word Nerd]

It doesn't bother me at all. I know my dh used to find it uncomfortable when he was a single guy. He still probably finds it midly uncomfortable but now is more used to being around nursing women (me and other friends). He would never ask someone to cover or be upset by them nursing but I know when he was single he would have probably left the room himself if he could. I know (because we've talked about it) that he would have seen this more as just a quirk or his rather than that the woman was doing something wrong...but it still made him uncomfortable.

 

For that reason, I'm more careful to cover up or go into another room if we're in a big group and there are single men around. It's not that I feel that I have to but just that I feel it's nice to think about what they might be feeling. For example, I'm pretty careful not to nurse around my 90 yr old FIL or my single BIL. Not because I think it's wrong or I shouldn't but because I know they would find it really uncomfortable...especially my FIL. And sometimes it's just as important to respect others feelings even if I don't agree as it is to be right. Besides, sometimes in a family setting, having to go nurse in a quiet room is a good excuse to get away for a bit. :)

 

I tried using a cover-up at a mixed-gender Bible study, but I wasn't used to it and it was super annoying and awkward, so I went into a different room. One of the other women came in and we started talking, and then a young woman who was single found us and literally squealed and covered her eyes when she realized I was nursing, as if she had walked in on a drug deal or something. I tried to respect others' feelings and still ended up offending someone's sensibilities! :lol: Sometimes you just can't win.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Sorry to read this. That's the kind of remark I was hoping would not come up in this useful discussion.

 

 

I have no idea how that could be offensive. Perhaps I should have clarified:

 

If someone TOLD ME that I should use a blanket to nurse I would suggest that they eat under a blanket. It is not their business how I feed my babies. If they don't want to look......then don't. It's not as if I sit in other people's laps as I breastfed!

 

And FTR, it is VERY offensive, even in a church, to ask a woman to cover. I am with the others who stated that MANY times I had people (even men) walk up and talk to me and never realize that baby was nursing. They appeared to be asleep.

 

 

I tried covering with a blanket with each baby. None would tolerate it and it was a juggling act that I could never quite learn.

 

 

People need to LEAVE NURSING MOMS ALONE and stop acting like breastfeeding=sex because it does NOT! I agree that "modesty and breastfeeding" are two words that do not belong in the same sentence. I doubt that Mary, mother of Jesus, owned a Hooter Hider. But, I wasn't there, so I admit I'm just guessing.

 

As another poster said, in Mary's day, breasts were not used to sell cars and beer. THAT is the difference.

Edited July 28, 2009 by ThatCyndiGirl

[Lovedtodeath]

I have no idea how that could be offensive. Perhaps I should have clarified:

 

If someone TOLD ME that I should use a blanket to nurse I would suggest that they eat under a blanket. It is not their business how I feed my babies. If they don't want to look......then don't. It's not as if I sit in other people's laps as a breastfed!

I thought your post was fine.

 

It did irk me b/c you said that you were able to nurse modestly... and it is just not possible for me.:tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

If someone offered me a blanket, I would thank them and either set it aside or thank them and tell them that I'm fine. Now if someone insists, I would politely but firmly inform them that am unable to nurse covered with a blanket and my shirt covers just fine.

[Moni]

Speaking as a male, I feel more comfortable if they cover up.

 

I never used a blanket cover up or anything like that.

I nursed here there and everywhere, in line at the market, at the bank teller, etc.

If you have appropriate clothing, one can't tell whether one is nursing or "just holding" the baby.

 

A blanket coverup just announces, Hey, I'm nursing over here...

:seeya:

[skaterbabs]

Anyone who is uncomfortable with breastfeeding in ANY situation really needs to just GROW UP. Seriously. This is for what God intended our breasts, after all. The idea that ANYTHING connected to feeding a child could be modest or not is absolutely rediculous.

[Geo]

I never used a blanket cover up or anything like that.

I nursed here there and everywhere, in line at the market, at the bank teller, etc.

If you have appropriate clothing, one can't tell whether one is nursing or "just holding" the baby.

 

A blanket coverup just announces, Hey, I'm nursing over here...

:seeya:

 

.:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:..That is SO true! But no biggie, nursing doesn't bother me a bit. I actively nursed for a total of 16+ years. I could push a grocery cart (usually containing both toddler & groceries) with one arm while holding a nursing a baby... I never drew stares because I was good at it. On the other hand, I may have just had the benefit of the doubt...the general population wouldn't even imagine that such a thing was possible. :lol:

 

Geo

[JennC]

I always think this it is sad that this is even a discussion. We are mammals. We teach our small children what makes a mammal: hair, lactation, 4 chambered heart, etc. Sadly, a large number of children don't even know what that means apparently because they are growing up to be humans who are offended by a natural part of the life cycle. Well, do we need to have a law that says we can grow hair in public? Do we need protected status for 50% or more of our species to function as mammals.

Baby people drink baby people milk. End of story. I am more offended by people who give 1 year old fast food and pop. Or let their children eat with no manners in public. A strip club is ok, and we should be tolerant of the myriad alternative lifestyles; a person is considered a quack to speak out against pornography and the display and sale of it where children can see it, but a nursing mother should cover up.

As I say to my children - Give me a yeesh:confused:

[Lovedtodeath]

I never used a blanket cover up or anything like that.

I nursed here there and everywhere, in line at the market, at the bank teller, etc.

If you have appropriate clothing, one can't tell whether one is nursing or "just holding" the baby.

 

A blanket coverup just announces, Hey, I'm nursing over here...

I have clothing designed for nursing and it does not work if baby insists on pushing and pulling it as immodestly as possible. I have been able to go through the store and sit at the park, etc. without anyone knowing what I was doing, and I have also flashed a lot b/c of a rambunctious nurser.

 

All of these posts about shirts covering everything seem to be telling me that my baby and his mom need to stay home b/c they can't nurse discreetly.

[6packofun]

"Discreet" is too vague and subjective. Honestly, some women thing discreet is covering up with something every time and some think that it's discreet as long as you don't see a nake breast and nipple for more than 10 seconds or so. Some think it's not their job to be discreet and that it's up to the men and teenage boys of other families to "just get over it" and look away.

 

I chose the first option in the poll, but I don't think the baby has to be smothered or totally covered the whole time.

[japhmi]

As a male who's around a lot of nursing mothers, I have to say that there has almost never been a time where it's been any sort of issue. The mothers I know try their best to be discrete, and if the kid is being fussy then they're being fussy - but the mom tries their best.

 

I do have one friend who has no problems taking a minute or so with everything hanging out while they get situated. That was uncomfortable.

[Veritaserum]

I have clothing designed for nursing and it does not work if baby insists on pushing and pulling it as immodestly as possible. I have been able to go through the store and sit at the park, etc. without anyone knowing what I was doing, and I have also flashed a lot b/c of a rambunctious nurser.

 

All of these posts about shirts covering everything seem to be telling me that my baby and his mom need to stay home b/c they can't nurse discreetly.

 

Nah. I (usually) nurse discreetly without a cover-up...if baby cooperates, that is! ;) My current nursling is super distractible and I still nurse her when we're out and about. I just keep my hand at the ready to pull my shirt down if she decides to pop off and look around. :tongue_smilie:

[swellmomma]

I did not use a blanket to cover once she was around 6 months old and both proficient at latching and always pulling the blanket off. It got to where I was exposing more trying to stay covered then when I do not use one. NOw I just use my shirt to cover up, nothing to be seen, no extra blankets to draw attention to what I am doing. I nurse everywhere and anywhere, if she needs to nurse(and my others when they were small) I do not go somewhere else, or mess with blankets etc, I just pop her on and she is happy.

[Melissa in Australia]

This is a man's perspective, but I am neither bothered nor titillated by a woman nursing. It is the most natural thing in the world and there should be no shame associated with it.

 

 

I agree.

isn't what the breasts are for?? we are mammals after all. I have no problem breast feeding in public, and rarely cover up.

[Jenny in Atl]

I agree.

isn't what the breasts are for?? we are mammals after all. I have no problem breast feeding in public, and rarely cover up.

 

:iagree:

It's so said that so few humans see this! If only breasts were seen more often for what they truly are made for, this would be a better world. And I believe this starts with young children, who should see babies nursing; it's normal & healthy.

[Ravin]

I always nursed DD wherever we were. I didn't care to have my belly showing, so it was generally pretty discreet--in public, often in a sling or Asian-style baby carrier. We often nursed while doing things like walking around a grocery store without anyone the wiser--esp. in my TX hometown where people don't breastfeed much so it didn't occur to them that anyone would be, let alone a 1 yo. We got a few people surprised after trying to take a peek at the baby in the sling...

 

The only truly negative reactions I've gotten, though, were from some random Republican woman who was on her way to the convention whom I met at a bus stop and had a conversation with...before she realized DD had been nursing the whole time...and from my own father, who made it very clear he was uncomfortable with me nursing DD in his living room. We didn't visit him as much as we might have, and it became very clear why mom weaned me when she did (and high kudos to her for lasting 9mo) as well as why (along with the C-sec under general anesthesia) she didn't nurse my younger sisters (twins). Man's a complete...I want to say atavist, but I don't think it's really primitive behavior. You'd really have thought I'd done a strip tease in his living room when I first nursed DD in front of him (age 2 1/2 mo.), in a nursing top, with the sling. After that he'd just go out in the garage and smoke, because he knew I wouldn't come within twenty feet of him with the baby if he had a lit cigarette. :tongue_smilie:

[HiddenJewel]

I could nurse more discreetly without a blanket than with one.

[mommaduck]

I always nursed DD wherever we were. I didn't care to have my belly showing, so it was generally pretty discreet--in public, often in a sling or Asian-style baby carrier. We often nursed while doing things like walking around a grocery store without anyone the wiser--esp. in my TX hometown where people don't breastfeed much so it didn't occur to them that anyone would be, let alone a 1 yo. We got a few people surprised after trying to take a peek at the baby in the sling...

 

The only truly negative reactions I've gotten, though, were from some random Republican woman who was on her way to the convention whom I met at a bus stop and had a conversation with...before she realized DD had been nursing the whole time...and from my own father, who made it very clear he was uncomfortable with me nursing DD in his living room. We didn't visit him as much as we might have, and it became very clear why mom weaned me when she did (and high kudos to her for lasting 9mo) as well as why (along with the C-sec under general anesthesia) she didn't nurse my younger sisters (twins). Man's a complete...I want to say atavist, but I don't think it's really primitive behavior. You'd really have thought I'd done a strip tease in his living room when I first nursed DD in front of him (age 2 1/2 mo.), in a nursing top, with the sling. After that he'd just go out in the garage and smoke, because he knew I wouldn't come within twenty feet of him with the baby if he had a lit cigarette. :tongue_smilie:

 

There are plenty of Republican lactivists ;) that are pro public breast feeding with no covers, etc. ;) Oh and I'm not a Republican...I'm an independent voter.

[Jorsay]

As a male, with many male friends from all walks of life, I don't believe that there is a normal adult male (between 16 and 45) who can look at the nipple of a female stranger and feel nothing. I don't think it really makes much difference if the exposed nipple is about to feed a baby or anything else. The only exception might be some doctors who see them in the course of their work in a sterile environment day in and day out. Testosterone is a powerful drug that makes a male feel something when he sees certain parts of a woman, and all men have testosterone in their blood at all times.

 

I am not saying that all men are turned on or turned off by a woman breast feeding her baby, although I know that many are. I am saying that they feel something, and that something is not what they normally feel when they are in public.

 

Besides the effects of testosterone, I personally am uncomfortable seeing anyone perform almost any of their natural bodily functions in public, and I bet most of you who are in favor of public, 'in your face' breast feeding feel the way I do about these other bodily functions. Perhaps they are all beautiful processes, but I prefer that they are done discreetly. For instance, I wouldn't be turned on or off by a naked man seated next to me on the subway reading a newspaper. However, I would change my seat. When I was in South America, I stepped between two parked cars to cross the street in the middle of the day and stumbled over a woman squatting to go to the bathroom in the street. I wasn't repulsed nor was I turned on, however, I wasn't exactly comfortable either. I prefer not to see two men kissing each other passionately full on the mouth. It does not turn me on nor does it repulse me, and I am certain they believe it is a 'beautiful natural thing', but I just prefer not to share that part of their lives. For that matter, I prefer not to see anyone kissing passionately. It is a private thing that I feel uncomfortable watching others. Don't you? Sure, I can look the other way, but that's like having to look the other way when people urinate in public. It's disruptive and uncomfortable. Is anyone in favor of public urination?

[IsabelC]

I have nursed all 5 of my children where I sat when they were hungry. I have, of course, tried to to discreet, but that is not my priority..... No one complains about breasts (or any other body parts) being uncovered - - -unless they are being used for their natural purpose of feeding babies.

 

I absolutely agree with the above. Breasts were designed or evolved (depending on your pov) for the exact purpose of feeding our children. Just because some people see them as mainly sexual doesn't mean that we shouldn't be allowed to be used for their real purpose in public. If that were the case, then we should all be wearing gloves and masks, because hands and mouths can be used for sexual activities! It is a very warped world when it is apparently OK to wear practically nothing at the beach just to show off your body, but it is not OK to feed your baby as nature/God intended.

 

 

ETA and you don't usually see anything in any case. OK, maybe if you were staring really carefully, you would get a glimpse of nipple just before or after the baby fed, but while baby is on the breast his face is covering most of it anyway. I have lost count of how many times I have been breastfeeding one of my babies and people have not realised what I was doing. I have even breastfed a baby in a sling and people didn't notice there was a baby there!

 

And there is a huge difference between breastfeeding in public and urinating or kissing in public. Adults - we would hope - can manage to hold off until a more appropriate time and place to do these activities. But babies, especially tiny ones, can't wait for a feed. They experience their empty stomach as a physical pain and cannot understand why mother isn't giving them any milk when it's right there where they can smell it. Of course this is different with breastfeeding toddlers, because they have the option of asking for a snack or a drink and aren't relying on the breastfeeding.

Edited July 29, 2009 by Hotdrink

[wildflower]

Yes, it's a real product!

 

I personally am offended by this product. Hooter hider? How dare they. I do not have HOOTERS, they are breasts and they nourish and sustain my children.

[Jenny in Atl]

It's disruptive and uncomfortable. Is anyone in favor of public urination?

 

I always love when breastfeeding is compared to urinating. :lol: Honestly, maybe we should all eat behind a blanket, since the mouth is sexual too.

[OHGrandma]

"Discreet" is too vague and subjective. Honestly, some women thing discreet is covering up with something every time and some think that it's discreet as long as you don't see a nake breast and nipple for more than 10 seconds or so. Some think it's not their job to be discreet and that it's up to the men and teenage boys of other families to "just get over it" and look away.

 

I chose the first option in the poll, but I don't think the baby has to be smothered or totally covered the whole time.

 

OK, I was reading your post and thinking, yeah, what she said! (although I picked number 2, I think they're pretty interchangeable.) Then I looked up to see who wrote it and saw your icon of a lego person on a toilet, that cracked me up so much! I bet some who think nothing of baring both breasts while nursing would be offended by that picture! Maybe not on this board, but someone, somewhere, doesn't think it's appropriate to show toilet activity, haha.

 

To all:

I don't think anyone on this board would go up to a nursing mom and tell her to cover up. But don't try to shame us who use (or used) a cover or privacy in the name of modesty. To each his own, and try to be respectful of others.

 

One other comment, am I the only one who had noisy sucklers? There was no question they were nursing. My second was really noisy and when she learned she could make noise at will, she was doing it almost constantly! I guess it didn't help that I laughed the first few times she figured out she could make a really loud noise!

[JennC]

and I bet most of you who are in favor of public, 'in your face' breast feeding feel the way I do about these other bodily functions.

 

I would completely ignore your ignorant and unbelievable position that breastfeeding is on par with public elimination - except that I would abhor to think that you would assume my failure to disagree was like unto agreement.

WOW:confused:

 

and NO ONE in this post is advocating "in your face"

 

This attitude being verbalized gives some light onto the argument that babies should have to take their nourishment in the restroom. Ridiculous at best.