Denisemomof4 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 she believes mom is the final week or two of the end. I started to panic as the nurse was going through the emergency kit with me. She said I can do it, and I know I can, because God will give me the strength to get through this. But, I'm SOOOOOOO scared. Mom's cold one minute, feverish and flushed the next. Her hands are hot one day, ice cold and purple the next. She's not drinking enough to keep the UTI's away. If her track record proves right, a UTI will set in by weeks end. We won't be treating it unless she shows signs of discomfort. This devastates me and makes me wonder - am I trying to play God? Honestly, how can we treat her when we know her body is shutting down? The nurse said treating her will only prolong her life for a week or two. That's not fair to her. I'm scared. Please pray for us all. Please pray that the good Lord take her peacefully and quickly with no suffering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I know she has certain directives in place already. But the UTI could be painful. Can they give her an antibiotic shot periodically to prevent the UTI? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 I know she has certain directives in place already. But the UTI could be painful. Can they give her an antibiotic shot periodically to prevent the UTI? honestly, she has never once showed ANY discomfort from a UTI. Because she has severe dementia, it really does knock her out. Besides the opium she gets for ulcerative colitis, she's going to get morophine when the symptoms (not being able to awake) kick in. She's prone to sepsis and I know this is going to go very, very quick. If she DOES show signs of discomfort we may choose to give antibiotics but since she never does, we're not planning on it. My heart is breaking. I hate this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I'm so sorry. You'll be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 (((Denise))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Praying for peace for you all.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 ((Denise)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommix3 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know all the specifics other than you are in the last days with your mom. I know from personal experience how painful this is. My mother passed away 5 years ago at the age of 49 from cancer and it tore me to pieces. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that she was at peace and that she will no longer be in pain. I still miss her terribly. But it has gotten easier. You can do this. God is with you. Draw strength from him. He IS in control. I'll be praying for you and your family. Blessings, Angela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 One more who was with her mom in the last days. You can do this. You will do your Mom proud. Watch for moments of joy. You will find them. Stick them deep in your pockets to remember later. God bless you, comfort you, and give you insight and wisdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I am so sorry that you have to face this tragedy. I wish I had words of comfort, but I don't. Laurel T. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
battlemaiden Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 (((Denise))) I just want you to know that I am so sorry you are going through this. At the same time, I'm proud of you for being with her as she declines. You are loving and brave, and a good witness to your children. Jo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwinMominTX Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Many prayers to you and your entire family. May God Bless your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 My heart is breaking. I hate this. Hold her hand a lot and sing or talk to her. Just remember you are being her big strong brave girl, and obeying her wishes. Remember you are treating her the way you want to be treated. Let yourself be proud. When I did this, in my "down time" I straightened up the house the way Mommy would have wanted it, so the people who came to get her body would see her nice, shiny silver. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm praying with you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Praying for you Denise, I know it s very hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: praying for you as you care for your mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: and prayers for you in the days, weeks, and months to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: and prayers for you, Denise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyThreeSons Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: Denise :grouphug: Praying for you. God will give you the grace you need in the coming days. We faced some similar decisions at the end of my Dad's life. I have precious of memories of holding his hand, reading Scripture to him, praying for him, and singing hymns to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: Denise, I am so sad for you. God will give you the strength to do this. I'll be praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Oh, Denise, I am so very sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 (((Prayers for you and your mom))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm so sorry. Hoping you feel God's tender embrace. What a gift you are giving your mom, to die at home. You are strong and brave, and being very unselfish.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 :grouphug: Can I offer a slightly different perspective? I'd encourage you to be thankful that you have such a close relationship with your mother. I haven't seen mine in 14 years. Don't even know where she lives. Honestly, I don't even know if she's still living. Your post brought tears to my eyes, because even now, as a grown woman with my own children, I'd give almost anything to be close with my mommy. It must be incredibly hard, what you and your family are going through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 (((((Denise))))) You have the strength to do this for her. Say everything you want and need to say, rest when you are able to keep up your energy...soon you will be running on fumes, but it's SO worth it to give all you've got to make the end peaceful for her! Dh's grandmother passed away yesterday morning after 8 days of hanging on and slowly, peacefully entering rest on her terms. She decided (or God did) to be alone when she passed--we were just so exhausted. I thought we'd feel guilty that we weren't at her bedside but we did are d*mn best to care for her all these past 7 months and every day that she was dying. I know she knew that she was loved and for her, dignity probably meant privacy. On Sunday, we sent the continuous care nurses home because there were no more symptoms to manage, just the morphine which we reduced. She was so very peaceful and we gave her the quiet and rest she wanted without people checking her vitals and prodding her which I know she hated! LOL I will never, ever regret our decisions even though they changed by the day or hour depending on what we felt she needed! I'm so thankful she was home when she left this life. God bless you, Denise, for taking this on. You can do it! She will know your love in how you care for her right up to the end, I really believe, and any choice made to make this easier for her is the right one. You know her best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm dealing with the same thing, only long distance. In fact, my mom just called me to tell me that my dad won't make it through the night. I'm scared too. We have a 15 hr drive ahead of us so I'm packing and doing last minute things around the house while dh takes a nap so he can drive us through the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Prayers for peace of mind and comfort! I know exactly what you are going through...the push and pull of itall. God WILL guide you on the right path and my your Mom's passing be easy. Hugs and more hugs along with those prayers.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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