What's your opinion on the use of e-gadgets during dance recitals?

[Perry]

It's recital weekend, and again I'm curious about how people view the use of electronic toys (Game Boy, etc.) by kids in the audience at events like dance recitals and concerts. I'm going to post a poll, but please elaborate. Thanks.

[Ellie]

I think it's rude and tacky.

[Mary in VA]

It is disrespectful to the performers. The recital is the culmination of their year of hard work. The audience should be respectful of that. Young children can be taught that lesson. Someday they may be the performer.

 

Mary, Ballet Mom :001_smile:

[Sebastian (a lady)]

It's recital weekend, and again I'm curious about how people view the use of electronic toys (Game Boy, etc.) by kids in the audience at events like dance recitals and concerts. I'm going to post a poll, but please elaborate. Thanks.

 

if it pacifies, then I could overlook it. I am always a bit saddened by families who don't seem able to disconnect from their electronic games, but I've also brought a Leapster along to support group meetings or cub scout meetings in order to entertain my youngest.

 

It would be nice to think that a dance recital would be engaging for everyone in the audience. But that probably isn't the case.

 

My MIL is a dance teacher. I'll have to ask her this one. Although I will say that I've not heard a complaint about this before, but I've heard plenty about parents who will not read the letters that she sends home and posts in the studio and are then surprised by how things are run at recital.

[Melinda in VT]

For me, it depends. How old are the kids? Do the electronic toys make noise? How long is the recital.

 

There is a 10-year age difference between my oldest and my youngest and some of those concerts are loooong. (I haven't tried electronic toys, but I have resorted to bribing with candy. One piece for each number performed.)

[fivetails]

I think it depends on the situation. :) ... If I took dd12 to a recital, I would expect that she sit fairly quietly & pay attention and no, she could not bring her gameboy or anything else...she's perfectly capable of doing that. However, if I took ds10, I would bring along his cd player & headphones so that he had the option of listening to a favourite cd because he may *not* be able to sit through the whole production quietly and comfortably.

[Perry]

For me, it depends. How old are the kids? Do the electronic toys make noise? How long is the recital.

 

There is a 10-year age difference between my oldest and my youngest and some of those concerts are loooong. (I haven't tried electronic toys, but I have resorted to bribing with candy. One piece for each number performed.)

 

Yes, they are long. Ours today will be 3 hours. Between my girls, they will be in 15 dances. My son likes to watch his sisters dance, but the other 90 dances are not quite so interesting to him. I even get bored, and I love dance.

 

He almost never uses the Game Boy, except on long car trips, so it's not an issue of electronic dependence. We've never taken it to a recital before, but I'm considering it today.

[Aurelia]

I think it's extremely rude for any child over preschool age, and I would want to stomp the toy to bits if it made audible noise or produced enough light that anyone sitting past the person to the child's immediate right or left could see. I have the same issues with cell phones in movie theaters.

[TN Mama]

I think it's rude & disrespectful. But I'm a bit ehh when it comes to electronic gaming devices anyway. I would allow the leapster or ds in a drs office waiting room with headphones. And I've also allowed dd to bring her ds to the salon while I get my haircut (again headphones). But other than that - nope. I'm always saddened when I see families out to eat and the children are playing their games instead of interacting with the rest of the family.

[TN Mama]

I think it's extremely rude for any child over preschool age, and I would want to stomp the toy to bits if it made audible noise or produced enough light that anyone sitting past the person to the child's immediate right or left could see. I have the same issues with cell phones in movie theaters.

 

:iagree: We were at a field trip to the symphony and CELL PHONES RANG during the performance. I just don't love that.

[Nicole M]

What really gets my goat, though, is when parents text and talk on their phones through a whole concert.

 

Since I manage a concert hall, I'm sensitive to this. I had a long talk with a parent of a performer recently, and she had a great idea. She is from Alaska, and in her town they just built a new performing arts center. She thought it would have been a great service to have someone compassionately and in a non-condescending way give the audience a run-down of the difference between a movie theater and a concert hall before the start of the program/s. (In this case, all the schools had choir performances, back to back. Many of the audience had never been in a performing arts center.)

 

I have never heard the argument about keeping kids busy. I think that's just dumb. If the performance isn't engaging enough to capture the attention of the children, it probably isn't worth watching, in my not-so-humble-opinion.

[Nicole M]

Yes, they are long. Ours today will be 3 hours. Between my girls, they will be in 15 dances. My son likes to watch his sisters dance, but the other 90 dances are not quite so interesting to him. I even get bored, and I love dance.

 

He almost never uses the Game Boy, except on long car trips, so it's not an issue of electronic dependence. We've never taken it to a recital before, but I'm considering it today.

 

Okay, I will totally change my answer for a three-hour recital.

 

If I had to bring my boys to a very long event, then I would let them bring along the game (if we had one), but I would ask them to sit in the lobby to play. So they'd sit through their sibling's pieces, then leave if it was not disruptive, say, during a break.

 

My youngest often brings a book to his brother's concerts. But he only reads before and after, not during.

[TeacherZee]

Yes, they are long. Ours today will be 3 hours. Between my girls, they will be in 15 dances. My son likes to watch his sisters dance, but the other 90 dances are not quite so interesting to him. I even get bored, and I love dance.

 

He almost never uses the Game Boy, except on long car trips, so it's not an issue of electronic dependence. We've never taken it to a recital before, but I'm considering it today.

 

Okay for a 3 hour recital I might change my answer too. Honestly couldn't they break down the recital a bit so that people wouldn't have to sit for so long. I would have a slightly different opinion if it was a cohesive story but if it is just jumping from number to number I might need the distraction. Or at least be able to wiggle a bit:lol::lol:

[Suzanne in ABQ]

For most performances, I would think it rude and distracting. But for a 2 1/2 or 3 hour dance recital, I'd make an exception.

 

I've sat through those 3-hour dance recitals, and they can be grueling, especially if you have to sit through 2 or 3 of them. My dd was in the beginning ballet/tap class at a huge dance studio when she was six years old. Her class' routine was cute, and their costumes were adorable, and I'm sure they pulled in lots of ticket sales. I'm convinced that that was the reason they had to perform in all of the recitals. They wouldn't allow me to pull her out after her performance to go home. We had to stay for the entire show. (I'm not arguing for or against this rule -- it's just the way it was). But it made for a very sore back sitting in those seats for all those hours.

 

Anyway, I would make an exception for any kid who had to sit through that.

 

And, after that recital experience, we pulled our dd out of that dance studio! :)

I love dance, but that experience just didn't fit our family.

 

 

ETA: Of course, there's usually the option of simply not bringing a wiggly, whining child to the recital in the first place. That would be better than an e-gizmo.

Edited May 3, 2009 by Suzanne in ABQ

[Perry]

Okay for a 3 hour recital I might change my answer too. Honestly couldn't they break down the recital a bit so that people wouldn't have to sit for so long. I would have a slightly different opinion if it was a cohesive story but if it is just jumping from number to number I might need the distraction. Or at least be able to wiggle a bit:lol::lol:

 

 

I wish they would divide it up into two performances. I think it's too long, so I really feel sorry for the siblings and elderly in the audience.

[Heather in Neverland]

Believe me, if I am taking my squirmy 5yo boy to watch a 3 hour dance recital, you will THANK me for bringing his nintendo ds (with headphones of course so there is no noise). While I may have an interest in watching my niece's recital, his attention span is about 4.6 seconds, and if I did not bring something to entertain him I would spend the entire time trying to keep him still and quiet. So it may look tacky and rude to some of you but at least you will get to watch your recital in peace.

 

My nearly 11yo ds, however, will be watching the recital even though he hates it.:D

[Pamela H in Texas]

I said it was rude and disrespectful but I also pushed "other." I think the kids using those things are SO missing out on some great opportunities for learning a number of things from sitting there respectfully to appreciating art. Of course, I took my kids, as young school aged kids, to college performances, a ballet, etc. BTW, they ENJOYED them, but I think that is because they went in EXPECTING to enjoy them. Of course, sometimes it was a bit long or whatever, but we focused on the NEAT parts :)

 

ETA: I saw the length of the recital. I agree that that is ridiculous. Honestly, I have a physical disability that would make that very difficult to me. I still wouldn't allow my kids to do differently, even as little tykes.

Edited May 3, 2009 by 2J5M9K

[secular_mom]

Yes, they are long. Ours today will be 3 hours. Between my girls, they will be in 15 dances. My son likes to watch his sisters dance, but the other 90 dances are not quite so interesting to him. I even get bored, and I love dance.

 

He almost never uses the Game Boy, except on long car trips, so it's not an issue of electronic dependence. We've never taken it to a recital before, but I'm considering it today.

 

That's what I was thinking, *we* go to see *our* performers, and really are not all that interested in the other performers. I'd have NO problem with it, assuming the sound would be turned down and DC would not be talking to me about the game (asking for help, etc.). I mean, sorry if it offends 'Nancy's' parents that I am not going to force my child to watch her performance, but they can just get over it.

[Danestress]

Yes, 3 hours is long and boring, but it's a sacrifice of his time and entertainment for his sisters. I would tell him to suck it up - that he's too old to sit and play games.

 

My answer would be different if he were 4. I'm not sure where I would draw the line, but I think my your sons age, I am 100% in the "it would be rude" camp.

 

I feel sorry for him because it sounds dreadful, but I think kids can learn to cope with occasional hours of boredom.

[fivetails]

3 hours?? Yikes. Okay, I said in my post that while I make exceptions for ds10 (special needs), I would expect dd12 to sit and watch quietly without her game boy or such... I take it back for this! ;) (I wouldn't even take ds10 if there was any way to avoid it - cd player or not, he'd never make 3 hours)

 

That's just too long. They should have split that up...

 

(and we're talking kids, right? This isn't a fancy performance of some world renowned dancers... so, yeah.. I can totally see your ds11 being bored out of his tree when it's not his sisters up there. Everyone's kids in costumes are adorable and all that, but even I would get antsy trying to sit through THREE HOURS of little Johnny and Jenny wearing tutus and waving at Mum & Dad. :tongue_smilie:

 

(and I say that as someone who really does love going to Christmas pageants and stuff! :D ... Three solid hours though, that's LOOOOONG.)

[Desert Rat]

I voted rude and disrespectful. We own Nintendo DSs here but they aren't allowed to interfere with LIFE. That's the exact word we use. Family, friends, etc. always come first. However, I do let my ds9 bring his to his brother's TKD class, while he's waiting for his, because his friends do and it's something fun for him to share.

[PiCO]

Believe me, if I am taking my squirmy 5yo boy to watch a 3 hour dance recital, you will THANK me for bringing his nintendo ds (with headphones of course so there is no noise). While I may have an interest in watching my niece's recital, his attention span is about 4.6 seconds, and if I did not bring something to entertain him I would spend the entire time trying to keep him still and quiet. So it may look tacky and rude to some of you but at least you will get to watch your recital in peace.

 

My nearly 11yo ds, however, will be watching the recital even though he hates it.:D

 

Just curious- why don't you get a babysitter?

[PiCO]

Well, I think it's rude to have a 3-hour recital. Our 2-hr recitals make me squirm!

 

But I also think it's rude to make squirmy kids sit through the whole recital, when you only want them to watch a sibling (and they don't want to be there at all.) Either leave them home with a babysitter, or just bring them in for their sibling's dance. Or teach them how to sit still for 2 hours.

[Aggie]

Our dd had her piano recital yesterday. It was 1 hr. A 10-11yo girl sat in the front row and texted the entire time.

 

My thought was that if she's old enough to have a phone and text, she's certainly old enough to sit quietly for 1 hr. I wonder if she texted when she saw the hannah montana movie.

 

For your son, I would take him to the lobby at convenient times. That is a long recital and he won't be the only one getting up and leaving in between songs. Just sit at the end of the row.:001_smile:

[KidsHappen]

Generally speaking e-gadgets don't bother me so much in the first place. Especially when a child has to wait. I would much rather see a child sitting quietly doing something than running, yelling and climbing all over things.

 

I am sure that when I was young, people thought I was rude because I always had my face in a book. I still frequently do and who knows maybe they still think I am rude. Anyhow, my definition of hell is having to wait somewhere with nothing to read. In my opinion, e-gadgets are not any different. As a matter of fact, they now have an e-gadget specifically for reading, it's called the Kindle. So same basic concept.

 

So, and this gets to the crux of the matter, as long as a child is not disturbing others, I am ok with them using these e-gadgets so I would allow it for my children. If other people thought it was rude, well that's really not my problem. I will parent my child my way and allow you to do the same. If you are ok with it, then what do you care if other people think it is rude?

[BabyBre]

I think it's rude of the parent to allow it. They need to get a sitter.

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, I think it's rude to have a 3-hour recital. Our 2-hr recitals make me squirm!

 

But I also think it's rude to make squirmy kids sit through the whole recital, when you only want them to watch a sibling (and they don't want to be there at all.) Either leave them home with a babysitter, or just bring them in for their sibling's dance. Or teach them how to sit still for 2 hours.

 

1. My dh will be working so he cannot stay home to watch the boys.

 

2. We do not live close enough to family to have any of them sit for us EXCEPT for the family whose recital we are going to watch...and they obviously want to be there as well.

 

3. We haven't lived in this area very long and have not had time to develop close enough relationships with any neighbors, etc. that I would feel comfortable letting them watch my children.

 

4. The recitals are easily 3 hours long (sometimes more) and there is obviously nothing I can do about that.

 

So my choice is to bring something to keep my 5yo occupied and quiet that does NOT disturb the people around him (and with headphones, a nintendo DS is silent) and enjoy the recital

 

OR

 

I can miss my niece's recital because some people in the audience feel the "appearance" of an electronic device (even if it makes no noise) is rude.

 

I think I'll go with choice number one and go watch my niece, my beautiful miracle niece who shouldn't even be alive right now since she was born at 27 weeks, dance and if others don't like that my son has a nintendo DS with him that is THEIR problem.

[Heather in Neverland]

Generally speaking e-gadgets don't bother me so much in the first place. Especially when a child has to wait. I would much rather see a child sitting quietly doing something than running, yelling and climbing all over things.

 

I am sure that when I was young, people thought I was rude because I always had my face in a book. I still frequently do and who knows maybe they still think I am rude. Anyhow, my definition of hell is having to wait somewhere with nothing to read. In my opinion, e-gadgets are not any different. As a matter of fact, they now have an e-gadget specifically for reading, it's called the Kindle. So same basic concept.

 

So, and this gets to the crux of the matter, as long as a child is not disturbing others, I am ok with them using these e-gadgets so I would allow it for my children. If other people thought it was rude, well that's really not my problem. I will parent my child my way and allow you to do the same. If you are ok with it, then what do you care if other people think it is rude?

 

:iagree:

[Sahamamama]

Well, you managed to hit a spot that's a bit sore today. Last night my husband and I went out on a nice date for our anniversary (while my parents babysat the girls). Seated near us was an adorable boy with his parents. At first, I was puzzled about the flashing blue glow on the boy's face... where was it coming from? Then I realized that he had an e-gadget (some kind of game). The ENTIRE time we were there, this child never once looked up, interacted with a living person, spoke to his parents, saw the beautiful artwork or tapestries or fountains at the restaurant (it was an elegant, atmospheric Indian restaurant), ate any food (why even go?), nor did any other normal (you'd think) activity of civilized human beings. He was ENTRANCED by this game, and really he ENSLAVED to it.

 

Then today we were out again, and this time we saw a pre-teen girl at the mall with her mother (we assume) -- hooked up to some e-gadget (an Ipod). Other people all around were interacting, but this girl was completely tuned IN to the Ipod and tuned OUT to everyone around her, including her parent. On a rainy day in New Jersey, that's just depressing. :confused:

 

I find this trend troubling, in and of itself -- for so many children to be "hooked up" to e-anything to this extent. It's not as though there's never any time to play games or listen to music, BUT what happens to a generation whose parents fail to seriously ask, "What part of life and learning how to interact with others is my child missing out on by being hooked up to this game?" At concerts, dance recitals, sporting events, art and science museums, the zoo, the aquarium, the mall, the grocery store -- it seems that EVERYWHERE, we are seeing a generation of tween (and younger) children hooked up to electronic gadgets.

 

I suppose it's a sore spot with us in part because my nephew is another tween who's always hooked up (to the Gameboy), and even in CHURCH he plays this stupid thing. Drives me nuts. Makes me want to swipe it and smash it to bits, yes. I realize he likes to play, duh, but at church? I think that 11.5 years old is old enough to sit up and pay attention.... When I was that age, we sat through 52 hour sermons with no air conditioning... uphill, with bare feet, in the snow, both ways.... :lol:

[secular_mom]

Well, you managed to hit a spot that's a bit sore today. Last night my husband and I went out on a nice date for our anniversary (while my parents babysat the girls). Seated near us was an adorable boy with his parents. At first, I was puzzled about the flashing blue glow on the boy's face... where was it coming from? Then I realized that he had an e-gadget (some kind of game). The ENTIRE time we were there, this child never once looked up, interacted with a living person, spoke to his parents, saw the beautiful artwork or tapestries or fountains at the restaurant (it was an elegant, atmospheric Indian restaurant), ate any food (why even go?), nor did any other normal (you'd think) activity of civilized human beings. He was ENTRANCED by this game, and really he ENSLAVED to it.

 

 

Perhaps the couple did not have a babysitter, but wanted to enjoy a nice meal together. They may have fed the child food that HE likes, prior to going to the restaurant, and then let him play his game so that HE was happy while THEY were happily enjoying their nice dinner. If he wasn't eating food there, what reason did he have TO interact with the staff?

He wasn't disturbing anyone, he was minding his own business. ;)

Which brings to mind a question I have (which is NOT sarcastic at all, and is asked in a friendly manner). Why were you staring at this quiet child the WHOLE time you were in the restaurant? In order for you to know for certain whether this child EVER interacted with another human, you must have been solely focused on him. :)

[ilovemy6kids]

It is so rude. I have 7 kids and they all sit and watch. They are notperfect but it is a habit that I want them to learn.

Sheri

[Heather in Neverland]

What it should really come down to is this...if the child playing the "e-gadget" is disturbing you with the noise and it is keeping you from enjoying the performance, I can see getting irritated. But if the child playing the e-gadget is being very still and making no noise whatsoever, then what do you care?

 

During one of my son's performances, a little boy, who had nothing to occupy him, got out of his seat, then his mom put him back in his seat, then he started crying and in the end, no one, including me, got to hear my son's performance. I wish she would have brought an e-gadget for that kid to play with.

[myfunnybunch]

I think it's rude.

 

And for crying out loud, can they really not go an hour without playing video games? I'm concerned about the message it sends about the importance of offering our attention to others, to people instead of a screen.

 

That said, I nixed the idea of the iPod and the Nintendo, but allowed my dd with autism to bring magazines to her brothers' choir concert yesterday. I think that's rude too, but it's better than wiggling and sighing and stage whispering "Moooom, is it over yet?" We were able to enjoy the concert and she was there in the audience to support her brothers.

 

Cat

[TN Mama]

Well, you managed to hit a spot that's a bit sore today. Last night my husband and I went out on a nice date for our anniversary (while my parents babysat the girls). Seated near us was an adorable boy with his parents. At first, I was puzzled about the flashing blue glow on the boy's face... where was it coming from? Then I realized that he had an e-gadget (some kind of game). The ENTIRE time we were there, this child never once looked up, interacted with a living person, spoke to his parents, saw the beautiful artwork or tapestries or fountains at the restaurant (it was an elegant, atmospheric Indian restaurant), ate any food (why even go?), nor did any other normal (you'd think) activity of civilized human beings. He was ENTRANCED by this game, and really he ENSLAVED to it.

 

Then today we were out again, and this time we saw a pre-teen girl at the mall with her mother (we assume) -- hooked up to some e-gadget (an Ipod). Other people all around were interacting, but this girl was completely tuned IN to the Ipod and tuned OUT to everyone around her, including her parent. On a rainy day in New Jersey, that's just depressing. :confused:

 

I find this trend troubling, in and of itself -- for so many children to be "hooked up" to e-anything to this extent. It's not as though there's never any time to play games or listen to music, BUT what happens to a generation whose parents fail to seriously ask, "What part of life and learning how to interact with others is my child missing out on by being hooked up to this game?" At concerts, dance recitals, sporting events, art and science museums, the zoo, the aquarium, the mall, the grocery store -- it seems that EVERYWHERE, we are seeing a generation of tween (and younger) children hooked up to electronic gadgets.

 

I suppose it's a sore spot with us in part because my nephew is another tween who's always hooked up (to the Gameboy), and even in CHURCH he plays this stupid thing. Drives me nuts. Makes me want to swipe it and smash it to bits, yes. I realize he likes to play, duh, but at church? I think that 11.5 years old is old enough to sit up and pay attention.... When I was that age, we sat through 52 hour sermons with no air conditioning... uphill, with bare feet, in the snow, both ways.... :lol:

 

I have seen the above before (restaurant, not church) and it does trouble me. Obviously I can't tell anyone how to parent their children, but I find the whole electronic thing can be taken too far. Don't get me wrong - I have a cell phone & I'm not afraid to use it. I even text - not during recitals or other programs (or movies, or church). And I use the Internet quite regularly, but not instead of other, healthy interaction. Oh, I don't know... I just wonder where all this will lead.

[abbeyej]

I think it's terribly rude. But I also think the school desperately needs to rethink its recital planning. Our school splits the recital in two. Certainly for older kids who are in multiple classes, they may still be in both recitals, but for younger children, it means families need sit through only *one* one-hour recital.

 

But I would absolutely not allow my child to use an electronic game during the recital, and I would find it offensive for others to do so...

 

Still, a simple, articulate letter to the school suggesting alternatives for a shorter recital (or recitals) seems very appropriate. I can't imagine there's *anyone* involved with the school who *really* wants to sit through a 3-hour recital!

[Karen sn]

It's recital weekend, and again I'm curious about how people view the use of electronic toys (Game Boy, etc.) by kids in the audience at events like dance recitals and concerts. I'm going to post a poll, but please elaborate. Thanks.

 

Well, I seriously wonder how kids are ever going to get over their ADD and ADHD if they never learn to shut up and be still. Not mocking the disorder, just how people deal with it.

 

When we were kids, we got bored, we daydreamed.

We did not need to be stimulated every minute of every day.

 

I voted smash the d@mn things.

It's rude and obnoxious. Distracting to the folks on stage and in the audience.

Why do parents think that boredom is so awful?

If your kid can't appreciate the play, recital, speaker, or whatever is going on.....then FINE. I get that. But they can day dream and escape that way.

Or get a babysitter and leave them at home.

 

I am amazed at parents who allow the gameboy to be an appendage.

 

Stepping off the soap box now so that others may have a turn.

[Guest Katia]

What it should really come down to is this...if the child playing the "e-gadget" is disturbing you with the noise and it is keeping you from enjoying the performance, I can see getting irritated. But if the child playing the e-gadget is being very still and making no noise whatsoever, then what do you care?

 

 

:iagree: Well said. Actually, Heather, most of what you've said in this thread I agree with. :001_smile:

 

I think the type of performance, length of performance and interest of the child in question should be taken into consideration when deciding to bring along an e-gadget or not.

 

In our family, we support each other, so not going to a sibling's performance is not an option. To us, THAT is what is seen as rude.

 

Our rule of thumb for our family:

 

1) Orchestra/Symphony - not too long of performances and sibling is in all pieces = NO e-gadgets

 

2) Choir Concert - not too long of performances and sibling is in all pieces and usually has one-two solo numbers = NO e-gadgets

 

3) Dance Recital - long......unbelievably long with sibling in only two-three dances PLUS most dances in between are inappropriate viewing for dh and ds = YES to books with small lights to read by and/or e-gadgets, to be put away to view sibling(s) dancing classical ballet.

 

I don't really care what others think/thought of what we do while waiting for siblings to do their thing. We aren't bothering anyone.......and if it 'does' bother someone; they should mind their own business.

[secular_mom]

 

I don't really care what others think/thought of what we do while waiting for siblings to do their thing. We aren't bothering anyone.......and if it 'does' bother someone; they should mind their own business.

 

:iagree:

[HRAAB]

I guess I fall into the camp of 'it's rude'. I have seen this quite often in places where I feel it is rude: music recitals, church, etc. Waiting in a Dr.'s office - fine. Recital - not fine. If my children were young enough that they weren't able to sit through the recital, I wouldn't take them. If the recital was quite long, I would try to make arrangements to have my children their for their siblings' performance only, if possible. But no Game Boys, etc.

 

And for whatever reason - totally unreasonable, I know - seeing a small child reading a book quietly during church or a recital doesn't bother me so much.

 

Janet

[dragons in the flower bed]

By kids in the AUDIENCE? People who are there to watch should watch. How little it must make the performing children to feel to see kids entertaining themselves else-wise at their performance. I would be mortified if one of my kids asked to bring a Gameboy to a recital. They should care, they should want to see what their siblings or friends have been working on in class all year.

[chanda7]

If the auditorium is darkened, then lighted e-gadgets should not be allowed, period. I find them extremely distracting.

 

If the auditorium is well-lit and the e-gadget is noiseless, I would not find it rude for a very small child (5 and under, approximately) to have such entertainment after an extended time of watching, although I feel a coloring book, etc., would be more appropriate. I think it is unreasonable to expect a young child to sit politely for 3 straight hours of performances when 2 1/2 hours is about the maximum an adult audience can typically handle.

 

I would find it rude and disrespectful for a older child or adult to be using e-gadgets during the performance. If they are going to be using an e-gadget during most of the performance, what is the point of them being there? They should respect others as much as their family members.

[katilac]

What it should really come down to is this...if the child playing the "e-gadget" is disturbing you with the noise and it is keeping you from enjoying the performance, I can see getting irritated. But if the child playing the e-gadget is being very still and making no noise whatsoever, then what do you care?

 

During one of my son's performances, a little boy, who had nothing to occupy him, got out of his seat, then his mom put him back in his seat, then he started crying and in the end, no one, including me, got to hear my son's performance. I wish she would have brought an e-gadget for that kid to play with.

 

Because a silent gadget does not equal a gadget that is not disturbing me. The glowing and flashing is just as annoying! And a dance recital is, of course, VISUAL in nature.

 

I really think you need to come up with another solution. If there is absolutely no one you trust to watch ds, I think you need to skip it. It sounds like your niece will have plenty of family attending, yes?

 

An alternative would be to quietly step into the lobby with ds in between dances. Take some long breaks, let him play the Nintendo in the lobby. Actually, for a 3 hour recital, I'm sure your relatives will be gunning for the chance to step outside with him, lol.

 

But a gaming device in the midst of a performance? It's rude.

[katilac]

I don't really care what others think/thought of what we do while waiting for siblings to do their thing. We aren't bothering anyone.......and if it 'does' bother someone; they should mind their own business.

 

But lighted devices in places that are MEANT TO BE DARK are, indeed, bothersome. And, instead of minding my own business, I'd be calling the usher over to request that all gaming devices and book lights be turned out. Because I've paid to be at the performance as well, I think that kind of makes it my business.

 

I am astounded at the posters who think that it is okay to read or game if the performer on stage is not a sibling, or not famous!

[HollyinNNV]

Each performance is different. When I take ds to a harp recital, even a scratching pencil on paper is too much noise. Although if the recital is at a rest home, some of the medical devices cover up that small noise.

 

If it is dark, I don't think any light producing device is appropriate.

 

I don't believe in 3 hour recitals. I don't attend anything that long. :D

 

Concerts/recitals are just funny things. When I used to put them on (orchestra director) I tried to keep the audience in their seats no longer than 59 minutes. You can extend that by about 20 minutes if you have a short intermission. Last night I played an orchestra gig and the concert was 1 hr 40 minutes. There was a 15 min intermission and one of the pieces allowed the audience to get up and waltz if they liked. Interactive performances are always lots of fun.

 

My kids have gone to concerts/recitals since they were tiny. I used to go to short loud pops events. Then we graduated to quieter chamber music. Now we can go to solo harp events and we don't have to sit by the exit.:D You have to take this type of training step-by-step. Increase the quiet factor, sitting length and difficulty level in small increments. (a 3 hour recital is a jumbo jump IMHO)

Holly

[Renthead Mommy]

My kids have gone to concerts/recitals since they were tiny. I used to go to short loud pops events. Then we graduated to quieter chamber music. Now we can go to solo harp events and we don't have to sit by the exit.:D You have to take this type of training step-by-step. Increase the quiet factor, sitting length and difficulty level in small increments. (a 3 hour recital is a jumbo jump IMHO)

Holly

 

:iagree: I agree. It takes training from the time they are young. 3 hours is a long time, but it can be done. It wouldn't be easy, but it could be done. While a 5 year old might need something to do, there is no excuse for an 11 year old to need a game during events like this. If they're bored, too bad, sometimes life is boreing. Get over it.

 

If a child can't sit through something, then they need to be left home with a sitter. I know some people have babysitter issues. But you what, those are your issues and you need to keep your issues at home. Don't bring your issues out to my entertainment event where I paid money to enjoy it. You can't/won't get a babysitter, then you shouldn't be attending things until your children are old enough to attend or stay home alone.

[MamaT]

I would find it rude. I agree with the posters who said if the children are too young to watch, or at least sit quietly, for the length of the performance then they should be left at home.

[Audrey]

I think people let their kids do that because they're too lazy to teach a some common courtesy skills.

 

We came upon this just the other day at my son's 4-H wrap-up. Ds was bored with the speaker and whispered to me "is it over yet? I'm bored."

 

I told him that I didn't care what he thought, we were here and we were going to give the gentleman the courtesy of paying attention politely. End. Of. Discussion.

 

Later, ds whined that so-and-so got to play with his Nintendo DS during the speech. I just had to roll my eyes.

[HRAAB]

I think people let their kids do that because they're too lazy to teach a some common courtesy skills.

 

We came upon this just the other day at my son's 4-H wrap-up. Ds was bored with the speaker and whispered to me "is it over yet? I'm bored."

 

I told him that I didn't care what he thought, we were here and we were going to give the gentleman the courtesy of paying attention politely. End. Of. Discussion.

 

Later, ds whined that so-and-so got to play with his Nintendo DS during the speech. I just had to roll my eyes.

 

:iagree: Of course, I'm thinking of children 5 yrs or so. It is courtesy to give the performers your attention. They work hard and deserve it.

 

Janet

[Heather in Neverland]

Because a silent gadget does not equal a gadget that is not disturbing me. The glowing and flashing is just as annoying! And a dance recital is, of course, VISUAL in nature.

 

I really think you need to come up with another solution. If there is absolutely no one you trust to watch ds, I think you need to skip it. It sounds like your niece will have plenty of family attending, yes?

 

An alternative would be to quietly step into the lobby with ds in between dances. Take some long breaks, let him play the Nintendo in the lobby. Actually, for a 3 hour recital, I'm sure your relatives will be gunning for the chance to step outside with him, lol.

 

But a gaming device in the midst of a performance? It's rude.

 

Then I promise not sit my rude child anywhere near you at a performance. But I will go and watch my niece...BTW, I think going in and coming out repeatedly to be in the auditiorium when she is dancing and gone when she is not is far more rude than one small device with one small light that makes no noise whatsoever.

 

You know what's rude? Three hour dance recitals... but I put up with it because I love my niece. A little grace goes a long way.

[jg_puppy]

Then I promise not sit my rude child anywhere near you at a performance. But I will go and watch my niece...BTW, I think going in and coming out repeatedly to be in the auditiorium when she is dancing and gone when she is not is far more rude than one small device with one small light that makes no noise whatsoever.

 

:iagree: I will have my small Ipod (with headphones) for my 6 year old to listen to while he waits to watch his sister in her dances. She has to perform at all 4 of the shows so we will be there for a long time.

Jan