Heather in Neverland Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Warning: rant about to ensue. So we went to the 70th anniversary party for my dh's grandparents which I think is really cool. I mean, how many people reach their 70th wedding anniversary? All of dh's relatives were there....aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. We figured this was as good a time as any to let them know about our move to Malaysia. I was absolutely FLOORED by the responses we got. People have no class, I swear. If someone came to me and told me about a new opportunity they had and they were really excited about it (and it wasn't sinful or illegal) I would NEVER say the things these people said to us even if I thought it wasn't a great idea. My BIL was the worst one. His intial response? "Why would you want to do THAT?" I'm sorry but i thought that was in very poor taste. So then he proceeds to make one smarta** comment after another: - do they wear shoes in Malaysia? - will you be sleeping in a mudhut? - is the school underground so you can hide from all the terrorists? - etc. etc. Picture each of these followed by a hearty belly laugh. Then of course, because we adopted one of our boys from Korea, he asks "So you gonna adopt a Malaysian kid too?" I said maybe. He says "Well at least it will be cheaper this time since you won't have to pay shipping and handling charges." Which he thought was the funniest thing he ever said. Gosh he is so ignorant. And then there was the comment he made to my dh to "keep her off the computer" so I will quit coming up with all these "hare-brained schemes". Where is the smilie for me kicking my BIL in the head????? And a few uncles felt the need to wax political and show off their (lack of) knowledge about Malaysia. Telling us to be careful because that place is a warzone. WHAT? You know that saying about how it is better to have people think you are ignorant than to open your mouth and prove it? This is completely lost on these people. We get our education about other cultures in soundbites from the television and then we walk around with our chests puffed out talking about these cultures like we actually KNOW something and we don't. We think because it is on the news it must be true. And we look quite stupid because of it. So I have officially run the gauntlet and survived. :rant: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Eeks, did he go to Butthead U or what? How rude. I think you're going to have a blast. Check out Malaysian horses for me. And rum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mtnmomof5 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Wow, what an adventure for you and your family!! What will you be doing there? Are you missionaries? Usually it's our families that surprise us the most with their responses, both good and bad. I great reminder of the One who never lets us down. Good Luck! I would love to hear more about it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 "Why would you want to do THAT?" Charitable response: "We think God has provided this amazing opportunity, and we can't wait to see how our lives will be enriched thru His Grace." Uncharitable response: "Because I'm trying to insure my kids don't turn into morons who are ignorant about the rest of the world. You know how that is." Geesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Uh. Ouch. So that must be why the U.S. gets such a bad rap abroad. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Oh. My. I think I would have gone a route similar to Chris' "uncharitable" one... it's still more charitable than deserved. (And, yes, 70th anniversary is way cool! We should all live so long and happily!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I think BIL is just jealous. I would have had to nail BIL's rear to the wall for the "keeping her off the internet" comment. BIL sounds like a huge clod. Malaysia sounds awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Charitable response:"We think God has provided this amazing opportunity, and we can't wait to see how our lives will be enriched thru His Grace." Uncharitable response: "Because I'm trying to insure my kids don't turn into morons who are ignorant about the rest of the world. You know how that is." Geesh. snort.:lol: I can totally understand asking why you'd want to do that. it's a curious thing that most don't come across on a daily basis. kind of like "why on earth woudl you want to homeschool?!":glare::D But that comments about s & H for your kid would have had me seeing blood red. what a something something. Sadly it reflects a sad but popular outlook on children as commodities to acquire only if the price and timing is right and the price doesn't require to much of their funds or time.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LG Gone Wild Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Warning: rant about to ensue. So we went to the 70th anniversary party for my dh's grandparents which I think is really cool. I mean, how many people reach their 70th wedding anniversary? All of dh's relatives were there....aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. We figured this was as good a time as any to let them know about our move to Malaysia. I was absolutely FLOORED by the responses we got. People have no class, I swear. If someone came to me and told me about a new opportunity they had and they were really excited about it (and it wasn't sinful or illegal) I would NEVER say the things these people said to us even if I thought it wasn't a great idea. My BIL was the worst one. His intial response? "Why would you want to do THAT?" I'm sorry but i thought that was in very poor taste. So then he proceeds to make one smarta** comment after another: - do they wear shoes in Malaysia? - will you be sleeping in a mudhut? - is the school underground so you can hide from all the terrorists? - etc. etc. Picture each of these followed by a hearty belly laugh. Then of course, because we adopted one of our boys from Korea, he asks "So you gonna adopt a Malaysian kid too?" I said maybe. He says "Well at least it will be cheaper this time since you won't have to pay shipping and handling charges." Which he thought was the funniest thing he ever said. Gosh he is so ignorant. And then there was the comment he made to my dh to "keep her off the computer" so I will quit coming up with all these "hare-brained schemes". Where is the smilie for me kicking my BIL in the head????? And a few uncles felt the need to wax political and show off their (lack of) knowledge about Malaysia. Telling us to be careful because that place is a warzone. WHAT? You know that saying about how it is better to have people think you are ignorant than to open your mouth and prove it? This is completely lost on these people. We get our education about other cultures in soundbites from the television and then we walk around with our chests puffed out talking about these cultures like we actually KNOW something and we don't. We think because it is on the news it must be true. And we look quite stupid because of it. So I have officially run the gauntlet and survived. :rant: Well, I don't know if you can hold it against people for what they don't know and the rubbish news they get. As for BIL, whoa. Getting mad would just feed a fool. Next time just smile warmly and say, "Do you realize you aren't funny?" and walk off into the sunset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Well at least you will be far away from BIL in Malaysia. :glare: What a dork. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Charitable response:Uncharitable response: "Because I'm trying to insure my kids don't turn into morons who are ignorant about the rest of the world. You know how that is." Geesh. I'd vote for Chris in VA's uncharitable one. And get away from this guy, as fast and as far as you can. He sounds like a real work of art. One joke in bad taste is one thing, a whole string of them . . . yikes. He's got problems. And on the nicer topic of Malaysia, I hope you guys have a blast. I'm sure you'll be a blessing to a lot of people, just from what I know of you reading your posts here, you seem like the sort of person who would enrich any place you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academy of Jedi Arts Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Yikes! I can't get over the comment surrounding your adopted child. That is beyond rude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Oh. my. goodness. That was unbelievably rude. I'm sorry. Just stay focused on the adventure ahead. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 We get all sorts of weird comments about the places we've lived and want to live. Some are plain rude (although the person asking usually doesn't know it), but most are just ignorant. Sometimes I want to print up a little card with answers to frequently asked stupid questions so I don't have to deal with them anymore. I have gotten very good at smiling and disagreeing briefly and moving on to a new topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I certainly agree with everyone that the relative's reactions were rude, and I can imagine how hurt you must have been. After first hearing of your plans to move to Malaysia, I got curious because I know nothing about that place. I googled a few things about the country and saw the most beautiful pictures. But the further I searched, the more concerned I got. I am certain that you have spent an enormous amount of time researching this move, and that everyone realizes that there is no perfect place to live. There is crime in my tiny town. Perhaps your BIL, in his own, unique way :glare:, was speaking from some knowledge. Here is a representative sample of things I read while perusing the internet: http://www.photomalaysia.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-58769.html My intent is not to alarm you or frustrate you, but to make a guess as to why your relatives reacted the way they did. I wish you and your family the richest happiness in your new home. Just please be safe. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Then of course, because we adopted one of our boys from Korea, he asks "So you gonna adopt a Malaysian kid too?" I said maybe. He says "Well at least it will be cheaper this time since you won't have to pay shipping and handling charges." Um, wow! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 "Because I'm trying to insure my kids don't turn into morons who are ignorant about the rest of the world. You know how that is." Geesh. :rofl::smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 He says "Well at least it will be cheaper this time since you won't have to pay shipping and handling charges." Which he thought was the funniest thing he ever said. :glare: I've never heard anything as barbaric as that said to my face, and my husband and I have had some doozies thrown at us as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Just think - once you have moved, you won't be seeing these particular clods nearly as often! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 The comment about the shipping and handling charges would have had my husband going for his throat. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 The comment about the shipping and handling charges would have had my husband going for his throat. :glare: Luckily my dh was not around at the time. I didn't tell him until we got home to avoid this very thing. It would have gotten ugly and I didn't want to ruin the party. But he was VERY angry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Holy cow, what a Donkey (to steal Chef Ramsey's word). I could handle the idiotic comments about Malaysia, heck my sister is getting the 3rd degree from my mother about moving to the south side of the city(30 minutes away), because according to my mom if my sister moves there she will be murdered just because she stepped out to get the mail, etc. You should have heard her when my sister moved to Japan for 6 months to teach english. But that comment about s&h for your adopted child would have resulted in a full out war right then and there. I am surprised your dh didn't haul your bil out back and set him stright right then and there. Go ahead and make fun of me, my choices etc but do not ever make a comment about my kids. Thankfully it won't be much longer before you guys are off to Malaysia and won't have to have contact with that moron for a very very long time. I for one am jealous of this opportunity you have, and I know you will thoroughly enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 You are a far better person than I am. I would have hauled off and punched BIL for those comments about ds. Really, I would have. Congratulations on holding your tongue, and your fists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 19, 2009 Author Share Posted April 19, 2009 I certainly agree with everyone that the relative's reactions were rude, and I can imagine how hurt you must have been. After first hearing of your plans to move to Malaysia, I got curious because I know nothing about that place. I googled a few things about the country and saw the most beautiful pictures. But the further I searched, the more concerned I got. I am certain that you have spent an enormous amount of time researching this move, and that everyone realizes that there is no perfect place to live. There is crime in my tiny town. Perhaps your BIL, in his own, unique way :glare:, was speaking from some knowledge. Here is a representative sample of things I read while perusing the internet: http://www.photomalaysia.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-58769.htmlMy intent is not to alarm you or frustrate you, but to make a guess as to why your relatives reacted the way they did. I wish you and your family the richest happiness in your new home. Just please be safe. Ginger Oh yes we have done TONS of research and we are aware of the pros and cons. We do not believe Malaysia is a perfect place by any means but it is also no worse than living in the Detroit area as we do now and have for most of my life. As a high school teacher I once had to disarm a youth carrying a gun, watched a girl beat another girl almost to death with a baseball bat right outside my classroom, been threatened by gang members for failing the star basketball player before the big game (they were gambling on the outcome), I could go on and on. So I am aware of what it is like to live in a dangerous area but I also know that there are just as many people in these areas that are just trying to live life, ya know? Feed their families, pay their bills, etc. And I wish that his comments had come from a place of knowledge and research but unfortunately they do not. He doesn't even know where Malaysia is on the globe. He is just a buffoon with a loud mouth. But I am grateful for your concern and welcome any prayers and well wishes as we will need them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 If he has a wife, I feel sorry for you BIL's wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 What a jack*ss! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 :blink: :eek: :thumbdown: :banghead: Really, no words... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Wow! I thought my ILs were bad, but your BIL wins the rudeness award. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Some people just don't get it. When we told my grandparents (in their 80's) that we were moving to Japan (um, they were alive during WWll, they know about American presence in Japan, and after all we ARE in the AF!) my grandfathers response was "What would you want to do THAT for? It's full of foreigners!" Um, yes it is full of foriengers. US! He's a great guy, but set in his sort of 1950's sort of ways. Even after all the neat stuff we got to do over here, he still doesn't understand why we'd want to come here. He really didn't get why we would spend money and want to go on vacation to China. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Some people just don't get it. When we told my grandparents (in their 80's) that we were moving to Japan (um, they were alive during WWll, they know about American presence in Japan, and after all we ARE in the AF!) my grandfathers response was "What would you want to do THAT for? It's full of foreigners!" Um, yes it is full of foriengers. US! He's a great guy, but set in his sort of 1950's sort of ways. Even after all the neat stuff we got to do over here, he still doesn't understand why we'd want to come here. He really didn't get why we would spend money and want to go on vacation to China. I get ya. My ds wanted to know why our family members are so against us going and all I could manage (without being derogatory) is "I guess they are just old-fashioned and set in their ways." which is a nice way of saying "They are really closed-minded and think that America is the only place on earth that exists. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 This story is nowhere NEAR as bad as yours, but it came to mind: When we were living in an even smaller town in an even more beautiful area of Alaska, I took my FIL for a walk in a pristine rainforest. It was within walking distance of our house, so that made it even cooler (IMO). We enjoyed the birds, porcupines, deer, and the rustling of a gentle wind through the tree branches. After a few minutes, he says: "Wow, what a lot of wasted space." Perspective is everything, eh? In the 1940's, land was to be conquered, used, IMPROVED with, I dunno, factories or lumbermills or MALLS or something. I told you it wasn't as outrageous as your story. But I hope it amuses. Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Your BIL is one ignorant idiot. Your move sounds very exciting to me, and it's going to be a wonderful experience for you and your family. Your BIL reminded me of one of my husband's sayings: Don't wrestle with a pig, you'll both get muddy and the pig will like it! Your BIL is a pig and you did the right thing by just walking away. He really isn't going to get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 This story is nowhere NEAR as bad as yours, but it came to mind: When we were living in an even smaller town in an even more beautiful area of Alaska, I took my FIL for a walk in a pristine rainforest. It was within walking distance of our house, so that made it even cooler (IMO). We enjoyed the birds, porcupines, deer, and the rustling of a gentle wind through the tree branches. After a few minutes, he says: "Wow, what a lot of wasted space." Perspective is everything, eh? In the 1940's, land was to be conquered, used, IMPROVED with, I dunno, factories or lumbermills or MALLS or something. I told you it wasn't as outrageous as your story. But I hope it amuses. Julie :lol::lol::lol: Thanks, I needed that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Uncharitable response: "Because I'm trying to insure my kids don't turn into morons who are ignorant about the rest of the world. You know how that is." :lol::lol::lol::lol: I love that one! (But I'll bet the BIL wouldn't have understood what she meant...) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 (edited) The thing with adoption, is that you CHOOSE this wonderful little life. The thing with BIL, he's the crap that comes with the husband. :confused: Wonder how many stamps you'd have to slap on that dork's forehead to ship him away. Crap that copious must weigh a tonne. Edited April 20, 2009 by specialmama arg, typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 UG what a dork! I can't believe he said that about your adoption, that is beyond appalling. Well the good thing is that with all those "terrorists running around" you won't have to worry about him daring to come and visit you eh!! How many years will you get to be BIL free? Sounds like heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto5blessings Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 We have so, been there done that!! Nothing anyone says surprises me anymore.....my personal favorite, that we get EVERY time we return from someone who doesn't know us, is if we will be taking our kids with us!!! It's one of the things you will have to learn to deal with and accept....family feels like they can (and should) educate you. I just try and ignore it, if at all possible. If you are faithful to keep up with friends and family in the USA while you are gone, it really helps to send little emails about the people you are meeting, what they are like, what their struggles are, etc. We have seen GREAT imporvement in our families since we have done this... It is such a wonderful priveledge to live in another country, and you will REALLY grow, and ifyou are like me, you will find yourself a lot less likely to grumble about things in the US politically for instance. We truly are such a blessed nation, even with all the problems. Pamela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 :confused: Wonder how many stamps you'd have to slap on that dork's forehead to ship him away. Crap that copious must weight a tonne. :lol: too funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 About the adoption thing, I'd say, "Yup, we hope to adopt at least a couple! Sounds like you might want to help, if we need Stateside help! Thanks!" You could have added, that when talking about adoption, it's not called "shipping and handling" but " ....." But...you know what he's trying to say....(Maybe he's a little like me...I honestly can't remember what it's called...if you have a child escorted here. AND, I read about adopting all the time.... It's a not so secret wish of mine.) I think you'll have a blast! And, this is the kind of thing that you'd regret if you didn't take the leap! Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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