Soph the vet Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This court's decision better get reversed or it will be a very bad precedent for homeschoolers. http://www.hsinjustice.com/ I cannot believe some of the quotes from the court records. That a judge would say in one breath that the kids are thriving at home and in another breath that they need to go to public school to get a more well-rounded education.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in NH Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 The parents are in the middle of a divorce and the father is against the mother homeschooling...so there is more to it than meets the eye...not that i am happy about the descision, but thought I'd offer what I know about it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I just read an article on WND about it. It sounds to me like a bunch of good 'ol boy crap going on. The part that caught my attention was that the husband doesn't want to pay for homeschooling. In the grand scheme of things homeschooling it self doesn't cost that much. I betcha what he doesn't want to pay for is the wife staying home with the kids to finish at least another 4 years of homeschooling. In 4 years the kids could conceivably stay home by themselves while the mom goes to work full time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eleni Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizam Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91397 I am dumbfounded. As a homeschooling mom in what I think is a sinking marriage with a nonsupportive dh, I feel really disturbed right now. Sometimes you can do everything "right" and still not win, as in the case of this mom and her kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 While it's true that the case is complicated by a divorce and the fact that the father isn't supportive of homeschooling, the outcome of this case might be used in other cases. There doesn't seem to be any wording that indicates that the judge made this decision based on a premise that each parent has a right to have input on the children's education. Rather, he seems to think that it's ok to decide for a parent when homeschooling has served its purpose and when it's time to enter the government school arena. I hope North Carolina has decent homeschooling legislation AND strong statewide homeschool advocates- that might go a long way toward making sure this remains just what it should be...a judge's decision in a divorce/custody case - and not a precedent setting ruling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 The parents are in the middle of a divorce and the father is against the mother homeschooling...so there is more to it than meets the eye...not that i am happy about the descision, but thought I'd offer what I know about it! Exactly. This is not a straight forward case of state vs. parent. The parents' (plural) right to homeschool was not challenged. The father (an actual parent, with the right and responsibility to make educational decisions) wants the kids in ps. As a parent who is challenged by an ex on hsing ALL THE TIME, yes, it's miserable. But it's parent v. parent, and they can't both "win". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 That is very sad. I'd not heard about this, even being in NC. I know there is often more to these kind of stories than meets the eye, but I can't find anything else about it online. How disturbing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) I work in the county where this happened and I live in the next county north. I haven't heard anything yet on the local homeschool email loops. I hope she appeals and wins! Update: The issue hit the local loops within hours after I posted here. Edited March 15, 2009 by LizzyBee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 There's another thread going on this same subject. Maybe they can be merged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 That article mixed the woman in NC, the California ruling (irrelevant: an out of state court ruling is not precedent), and German federal law. Huh? Here is my question: how does this woman intend to support herself and her children? I mean, ok, the guy admits to cheating on her and may be a jerk. He will inevitably have to pay child support. Which means he has a say in what it supports (obviously, I have not read their divorce documents, but it is common for divorce decrees to state "I will pay for this, not that; the children may/may not do X". I have a friend whose decree says she is 100% responsible for schooling decisions, and the ex husband has a portion that says he will pay for none of it). Completely laying aside the religious aspect of what is going on, seriously, how does this woman expect to raise 3 kids without working? The (unfortunate) reality of divorce is that it often significantly impacts the standard of living for the woman and children. She can't just leave them home alone to go to work, they are too young. Did she have a plan to work from home? I don't agree that the state should be able to tell us how to teach/where to have our children instructed. But what if this woman truly had/has no plan to keep a roof over the heads of these children because she is not willing to alter how she has been living/operating? "God will provide" does not automatically put shoes on feet or food on the table. Perhaps hubby and judge recognize that wife does not see this. It's sad all around, but I think all of us need to be cognizant that the time we have with our kids is a gift. And sometimes reality interferes. asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think the rub in this case is that their father is against the homeschooling. I don't think this would even be an issue if the subject of the kids' education wasn't made a point in the divorce. It's become a bone of contention in the divorce and I think the judge is trying to come up with a solution that's middle ground. I can see his point, even if I think he's wrong. I also think, in that article, the issue between this family and the one in CA are mixed. I think they're comparing apples to pomegranates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Here is my question: how does this woman intend to support herself and her children? I realize my situation isn't the norm, but I get enough child support and alimony that I don't have to work at all. So, it's possible to be divorced and homeschool without working. This woman's EX may not have an income that allows for her to live on child support and she may not get alimony, so there are many variables to that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I can understand why a board full of homeschooling Moms would feel that (1) Homeschooling is great and (2) Moms get to decide. I imagine a board for men would have a lot of posts about, "Finally a judge thinks that a father's opinion counts for something" and "Of course he can't totally support two households and shouldn't have to if she's able to get full time work." This was a judge with a very hard decision to make, and when parents can't agree or work out a plan that can live with, judge's have to. Everyone can't win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa B Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This is sad for the mother, but I do not see how it can be disturbing or shocking in any way. The father wanted the kids in school. A father has as much right as a mother to decide the educational future of his children. The judge wasn't going over the heads of the parents. The judge had to rule in favor of the mother or the father and he ruled in favor of the father. It would have been just as sad for the father if he had ruled the other way. It certainly would have been shocking if both parents wanted the kids homeschooled and the judge ordered the kids to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I just read an article on WND about it. It sounds to me like a bunch of good 'ol boy crap going on. The part that caught my attention was that the husband doesn't want to pay for homeschooling. In the grand scheme of things homeschooling it self doesn't cost that much. I betcha what he doesn't want to pay for is the wife staying home with the kids to finish at least another 4 years of homeschooling. In 4 years the kids could conceivably stay home by themselves while the mom goes to work full time. My stbxh has expressed this opinion recently, even stating that a judge will make the decision as to where they go to school Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This is sad for the mother, but I do not see how it can be disturbing or shocking in any way. The father wanted the kids in school. A father has as much right as a mother to decide the educational future of his children. The judge wasn't going over the heads of the parents. The judge had to rule in favor of the mother or the father and he ruled in favor of the father. It would have been just as sad for the father if he had ruled the other way. It certainly would have been shocking if both parents wanted the kids homeschooled and the judge ordered the kids to school. It isn't so much that he wants the kids in school. He doesn't want to pay for homeschooling. The order proposed by the father's lawyer also conceded the reason for the divorce was the father's "adultery," but it specifically said the father would not pay for homeschooling expenses for his children. Homeschooling doesn't cost that much - not the supplies anyway. What he wants is for the mother to be free to go to work. He doesn't want to pay child support and alimony enough to support the children's current lifestyle. IMHO, after reading the article and the blog posted by Soph in the other thred, the judge is siding with the father on all counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommyInTraining Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 THis has happened to a few homeschooling ladies I know locally, the kids were forced back in public school thanks to a messy divorce. It was a worry of mine for a while when I started hsing, because I did not actually have a custody agreement yet and my husband was against homeschooling. Thankfully last xmas he signed the custody papers giving me sole physical and legal custody, and has seen how great hsing has been for the kids compared to when they were in ps before. That said we are not divorced yet, so it is always possible for him to do a 180 when we do, though I don't think he will. I told him that for now I am not asking for section 7s(extra expenses he has to cover in addition to regular child support), but if he ever tried to force his hand about their schooling I would go for them all (so all sports, all school expenses, daycare fees if I needed them, bus passes, school clothes etc) so he knows it is in his financial best interest to leave us be to do what is best for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What do you think would happen in this type of situation? The father has been always been very, very anti-public school - the whole system, not just particular schools. Kids were sent to private school (now too expensive) and eventually pulled out to homeschool. Father has always been supportive of the homeschooling (to wife and also vocally to friends). Then, because the father decides to leave the marriage, he no longer wants to support homeschooling and wants the kids put in PS. What do y'all think would/should happen in this situation? (note - this is not happening to me - it's just a "what if" type of situation) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What do you think would happen in this type of situation? The father has been always been very, very anti-public school - the whole system, not just particular schools. Kids were sent to private school (now too expensive) and eventually pulled out to homeschool. Father has always been supportive of the homeschooling (to wife and also vocally to friends). Then, because the father decides to leave the marriage, he no longer wants to support homeschooling and wants the kids put in PS. What do y'all think would/should happen in this situation? (note - this is not happening to me - it's just a "what if" type of situation) Let us turn this another 45 degrees and say that the father stills supports homeschooling, but the MOTHER wants to go to work and establish her career before she gets older (and has less opportunity?). Can she be made to continue homeschooling? She supported it while they were married, so could the courts force her to continue? :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What do you think would happen in this type of situation? The father has been always been very, very anti-public school - the whole system, not just particular schools. Kids were sent to private school (now too expensive) and eventually pulled out to homeschool. Father has always been supportive of the homeschooling (to wife and also vocally to friends). Then, because the father decides to leave the marriage, he no longer wants to support homeschooling and wants the kids put in PS. What do y'all think would/should happen in this situation? (note - this is not happening to me - it's just a "what if" type of situation) I think THat the kids should continue homeschooling. If they are doing well, the status quo should be maintained during such a turbulent time in their lives. Further, if it has been well known by others that he was very much against ps, as in he has been vocal about it in the past, they should be called in to testify to that, to show that this is an argument just about money or using the kids as pawns not out of genuine concern for their educations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What do you think would happen in this type of situation? The father has been always been very, very anti-public school - the whole system, not just particular schools. Kids were sent to private school (now too expensive) and eventually pulled out to homeschool. Father has always been supportive of the homeschooling (to wife and also vocally to friends). Then, because the father decides to leave the marriage, he no longer wants to support homeschooling and wants the kids put in PS. What do y'all think would/should happen in this situation? (note - this is not happening to me - it's just a "what if" type of situation) One would hope that the wife and the friends would stand up to the husband and his lawyer. That the friends who over the years heard his anti-public school statements would testify to what they heard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Let us turn this another 45 degrees and say that the father stills supports homeschooling' date=' but the MOTHER wants to go to work and establish her career before she gets older (and has less opportunity?). Can she be made to continue homeschooling? She supported it while they were married, so could the courts force her to continue? :lurk5:[/quote'] No she should not be forced to but in that case I would suggest that the father be given custody and continue the homeschooling, not for homeschooling's sake, but in order to keep the status quo as much as possible for the kids to get through the parents divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) Let us turn this another 45 degrees and say that the father stills supports homeschooling' date=' but the MOTHER wants to go to work and establish her career before she gets older (and has less opportunity?). Can she be made to continue homeschooling? She supported it while they were married, so could the courts force her to continue? :lurk5:[/quote'] No, I don't think she should be made to continue homeschooling. I do think if it is at all possible that the husband should follow his convictions and step in. He should home school the kids and the wife should be the bread-winner. Oops, I read that wrong. I didn't see that your family had split. I still don't think she should be forced to homeschool. There is a bit of information missing in your scenario though. Is this family splitting because the mother wants out? Would she have custody of the kids? Edited March 12, 2009 by Parrothead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Then, because the father decides to leave the marriage, he no longer wants to support homeschooling and wants the kids put in PS. Well, in the case being discussed right now, I'm most shocked that the judge thought it was a good idea for the husband to remain living with the wife and kids and be free to go out with his mistress. I personally think in that particular case, it's not about what the father feels is best for the kids. I think he's thinking with another part of his body, one with a more urgent call. He doesn't want to think about the wife, kids or responsibilities. He wants to play with his new woman and will need money to finance said relationship. FWIW, I'm divorced and I totally understand that my ex has as much right to make decisions for our daughter that I do. I was on the short end of that stick for many years where he never considered what I thought was best. Once we divorced, we stopped caring about what the other partner wanted. Our lives were totally separate. So I very easily see where a divorce would change things like feelings about the children's education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think it's a sad reality of modern life that living on a single income can be challenging, I doubt I need even say this on this forum as I'm sure almost all of us sacrifice to some degree to keep one parent home with our children. And the current economic crisis isn't making things easier for many families. And while maintaining a house-hold might be a challenge on one income, I can imagine maintaining two house-holds (post divorce) might be an economic impossibility in many circumstances no matter how devoted the parents are to the idea of home education. I'm aware that there are divorced parents home educating their children, and I'm glad for them, but I'm not sure all of us would be able to pull that off if (perish the thought) our marriages failed. A judge has to do his or her best in looking at a families circumstances and hopefully makes a sound decision in the dispute. I'm just not sure ruling one way in a particular case makes the judge of the ruling "anti home-schooling". Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 No, I don't think she should be made to continue homeschooling. I do think if it is at all possible that the husband should follow his convictions and step in. He should home school the kids and the wife should be the bread-winner. Oops, I read that wrong. I didn't see that your family had split. I still don't think she should be forced to homeschool. There is a bit of information missing in your scenario though. Is this family splitting because the mother wants out? Would she have custody of the kids? This is purely a what-if situation. I'm just seeing the (ex-husband) dad being forced to support homeschooling, while the (ex-wife) mom gets to choose to support homeschooling. It seems okay with most of you that dad has no choice. If the ex-husband decided to quit his job and stay home to continue homeschooling, should the ex-wife pay for his support? Bottom line is that it's all too complicated and hopefully the courts take all these variables and come up with something fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think it's a sad reality of modern life that living on a single income can be challenging, I doubt I need even say this on this forum as I'm sure almost all of us sacrifice to some degree to keep one parent home with our children. And the current economic crisis isn't making things easier for many families. And while maintaining a house-hold might be a challenge on one income, I can imagine maintaining two house-holds (post divorce) might be an economic impossibility in many circumstances no matter how devoted the parents are to the idea of home education. I'm aware that there are divorced parents home educating their children, and I'm glad for them, but I'm not sure all of us would be able to pull that off if (perish the thought) our marriages failed. A judge has to do his or her best in looking at a families circumstances and hopefully makes a sound decision in the dispute. I'm just not sure ruling one way in a particular case makes the judge of the ruling "anti home-schooling". Bill :iagree: Bill, while I always respect your right to have your opinion, I rarely agree with it. But this time, I actually do. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) I can understand why a board full of homeschooling Moms would feel that (1) Homeschooling is great and (2) Moms get to decide. I imagine a board for men would have a lot of posts about, "Finally a judge thinks that a father's opinion counts for something" and "Of course he can't totally support two households and shouldn't have to if she's able to get full time work." This was a judge with a very hard decision to make, and when parents can't agree or work out a plan that can live with, judge's have to. Everyone can't win. Yep. But after reading the article, my thoughts are more along the lines of your second paragraph. IMO, if you are divorcing, expect to have to work. It's a rare thing to be able to get enough $$ support from an ex to stay home full-time. $$ for the kids is one thing. A dad is responsible for them too, but once she's kicked him to the curb, I don't think a woman is necessarily entitled to have him support her stay-at-home desires. She doesn't get to divorce and STILL get to have all the rest of her life the same way as before. Edited March 12, 2009 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Living in NC, this case makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The father testified that the kids were doing well in the homeschool environment. If he wanted what was best for the kids, he would not force them to completely change their lives. But he is more interested in his mistress and money than his kids. The judge order psychological testing for the mother but not the father with the expenses to be split 50/50. Does he think she must be crazy for wanting to homeschool? How is she going to pay for it? As to how to keep homeschooling, there are creative ways to keep homeschooling while single. For example, she could have her parents move in to share expenses. The real point of this is NC law supports status quo in divorce cases unless there is a compelling reason to change. The judge has not given a compelling reason, he just does not support homeschooling. That is not justice. I wrote the the governor to let her know that homeschooling is legal and this judge is simply out of line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I hope North Carolina has decent homeschooling legislation AND strong statewide homeschool advocates- that might go a long way toward making sure this remains just what it should be...a judge's decision in a divorce/custody case - and not a precedent setting ruling. North Carolina does not have strong homeschooling laws nor a strong state advocate group. The state group has rolled over to appease the state on several occasions. I will be watching them with great interest. We may be paying the price for not stopping the state from overreaching into our homeschooling lives before now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This is purely a what-if situation. I'm just seeing the (ex-husband) dad being forced to support homeschooling' date=' while the (ex-wife) mom gets to choose to support homeschooling. It seems okay with most of you that dad has no choice. If the ex-husband decided to quit his job and stay home to continue homeschooling, should the ex-wife pay for his support? Bottom line is that it's all too complicated and hopefully the courts take all these variables and come up with something fair.[/quote'] I really am only guessing on the basis of the article and the blog. I don't have the husband's side of the story. And I know all men are not pigs. That said though the parts I have become acquainted make me think that this husband, along with his lawyer and the judge have banned together so the woman and her children are getting a raw deal. So, yes, if this entire thing was turned around and the wife was the one doing what this husband has done I think she should be the one to support the family financially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Well... since we're on hypotheticals: What happens if the neuropsych eval comes back and Mom is off the deep end? Everyone here is assuming that Dad started cheating on Mom out of the blue. What if the marriage was a farce, and Dad is tired of dealing with someone who won't get help? (remember, hypothetical) Is dad still a jerk, and should the kids still be left in HS with Mom? (FWIW, I've met some truly unstable Moms who couldn't see the problem for their illnesses, and thus wouldn't seek help. And it is REALLY hard to force care in mental health if someone isn't actively seeking suicide or homicide). asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Yep. But after reading the article, my thoughts are more along the lines of your second paragraph. IMO, if you are divorcing, expect to have to work. It's a rare thing to be able to get enough $$ support from an ex to stay home full-time. $$ for the kids is one thing. A dad is responsible for them too, but once she's kicked him to the curb, I don't think a woman is necessarily entitled to have him support her stay-at-home desires. She doesn't get to divorce and STILL get to have all the rest of her life the same way as before. You make it sound as if she just up and decided she didn't want to be married. He cheated on her and from all available information, he continues to see his mistress while living in the family home. Why should her way of life be contigent on his inability to keep his body parts in check? It would be on thing if the judge said "due to custodial arrangements, the children won't have enough days to complete homeschooling" or "due to the fact that the mother has no plan in place to support a home and continue homeschooling", I have decided that the kids will need to go to public school until such time as she can come up with an alternative. Or due to the children not flourishing. Or even it's all equal, so I flipped a coin. No, the reasons he stated are reasons against homeschool in general. He says the children need to be in school to be more well rounded, have socialization (and having a child in Wake County Schools, I can tell you it's not good socialization, no matter which school you are in) and to get other opinions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in NC Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 (edited) Based on what has been put out there, the father was supportive of homeschooling and he even testified the kids were thriving in the homeschooling environment. The kids test above grade level. Plus the father does not appear to be seeking custody. I see no evidence that she is a nut case or that the father has made such a claim. Quotes by the judge: http://www.hsinjustice.com/2009/03/court-order-slams-homeschooling-and.html Edited March 12, 2009 by Melissa in NC adding link Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Based on what has been put out there, the father was supportive of homeschooling and he even testified the kids were thriving in the homeschooling environment. The kids test above grade level. Plus the father does not appear to be seeking custody. I see no evidence that she is a nut case or that the father has made such a claim. Quotes by the judge: http://www.hsinjustice.com/2009/03/court-order-slams-homeschooling-and.html Wow, if what is in that blog is all correct all I can say is WOW. This kind of thing happens often (I have two friends who got the short end of the stick too), and unfortunately SAHMs cannot afford the best lawyers to get the best deal for them. Those poor kids are having to deal with the divorce, knowing their father is a cheater and cares more for her than them, and now dad wants to put them in school when apparently they are doing well at home. I would go after him for every dime of ins., doc bills, sports, school trips, and so on on top of child support, but then I am a bit vindictive like that. He cheated, he should get stuck with paying to keep the kids lives the same. Plain and simple! If she had cheated or wanted out then it would be up to her to pay Dad to keep the kids lives the same. He should not get to go out and 'live his life' leaving the family that he created in shambles, and it goes the other way (if the wife had been the reason for the marriage to dissolve). Prayers for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenKitty Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I couldn't believe what I was reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 You make it sound as if she just up and decided she didn't want to be married. He cheated on her and from all available information, he continues to see his mistress while living in the family home. Why should her way of life be contigent on his inability to keep his body parts in check? It would be on thing if the judge said "due to custodial arrangements, the children won't have enough days to complete homeschooling" or "due to the fact that the mother has no plan in place to support a home and continue homeschooling", I have decided that the kids will need to go to public school until such time as she can come up with an alternative. Or due to the children not flourishing. Or even it's all equal, so I flipped a coin. No, the reasons he stated are reasons against homeschool in general. He says the children need to be in school to be more well rounded, have socialization (and having a child in Wake County Schools, I can tell you it's not good socialization, no matter which school you are in) and to get other opinions. Thank you. I was beginning to think I had posted the wrong link. I put in bold the part you paraphrased that I found sooo disturbing in this case. the cheating dad aside, the single-parenting and homeschooling issues aside, I am concerned that judges think they can overrule what a parent thinks is best for their children DESPITE the children thriving in home education. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 One link is the WDN, not something I turn to for unbiased reporting, and the blog uses the word liberal as an insult (and that liberals embrace adultery), and seems to equate anything less than full support of something is full support of the other side. Both seem to strive to get people "Het Up". I'll be Ho-Hum until more even keeled reporting shows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Um. I have a bit of experience on this issue. ;) "Offended will likely be my go-to emotion" as pointed out in another thread. Just warning you. One of the many things that bothers me in this case is that it seems "public school as standard or acceptable" is the filter of the judge. I suspect he's *somewhere* on the anti-homeschool scale or at least believes common (and usually inaccurate) myths about socialization, normalization, etc. My *question* before evaluating the case is did the Mom expect her alimony and/or child support to allow for homeschooling to continue? If *that* were the case, I would (gulp) have to agree with the Dad. He should not be expected to pay for her to continue to stay at home and home educate if he no longer believes in it but she does. What does upset me about some of the responses in this thread are the assumptions that homeschooling can't continue. There *are* creative schedules and compensation options. Do I *want* to manage 30 - 80 somewhat drunk poker players 3X a week? Do I *want* to clean an office building? No. But these are jobs I can do while still homeschooling traditional hours. If I didn't have those, I'd homeschool non traditional hours. The other reality is that if she goes to work full time outside the home, childcare costs begin. I've had lots of single parents when I was a before/after school site director for the YMCA (another job that allowed homeschooling to continue). While single parents are represented well on this board, and from a diverse background, in the homeschooling community, single parent families continue to be a small percentage. Very small. There are some.....issues that emerge related to that at times. Here's another thing I know. I used to be *very* skeptical when reports were made, psych evals ordered, etc. I believed, mostly, that if there was smoke, there was fire. I've learned otherwise. There can truly be a very, very lopsided situation that is so unreal you'd find it hard to believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Obviously we are feeling sympathetic toward this woman. She seems to be living one of my absolute nightmares - DH find someone younger and prettier who actually likes tennis, starts an affair, won't even move out of the house, and tries to make my kids go to public school and me get a job. Yikes. It makes me want to find her and hug her and pray over her. That said, I have only read snippets from an order read from a very very biased blog site and a few news articles. None of the articles I saw were written by someone with enough knowledge of the law to even get the procedural stance right. There is probably a really good reason why the Mom's friends didn't put the entire order online. I'm sure if we could see the entire order, it would provide at least some information. We haven't seen her petition, we haven't read his responses, we really know very very little about what has been alleged and what the proof offered in court was and what the arguments of the parties were. We really truly don't know. We just know what her best friend wants us to know, and really nothing more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 You will see cases like that all over when one parent opposes homeschooling during a divorce. Normally, the judge does order the child to return to ps if an agreement can't be reached. Sad, but true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Yes, Soph! We live in Charlotte and it's going around the local homeschool group. Very tragic. Sheryl This court's decision better get reversed or it will be a very bad precedent for homeschoolers.http://www.hsinjustice.com/ I cannot believe some of the quotes from the court records. That a judge would say in one breath that the kids are thriving at home and in another breath that they need to go to public school to get a more well-rounded education.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesloonybin Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I cannot believe this. A NC Judge has ordered two homeschool children to enroll in public school! http://wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91397 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 There is already a thread started on this. Here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 This sentence made me laugh! "I said public schooling would be a good complement." A complement to homeschooling? It seems like they are mutually exclusive. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesloonybin Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 oops. Sorry, I skimmed but must have missed the other thread. Sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 This is pretty common in divorce type cases. Also, the mother's intentions are curious...It seems as though she was possibly proposing that her ex-dh support her and the kids while she continues to be a SAHM and homeschool them. Many times, though, when two parents disagree on homeschooling, the judge will order the kids to return to ps. It happens more often than not, actually. The person that should be vilified in this sitation is the FATHER. He knows that homeschooling has been wonderful for his kids and HE is the one advocating the change. If the father was "for" homeschooling, the issue would have never come before a judge. It is the father who is doing the kids an injustice here, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 The real point of this is NC law supports status quo in divorce cases unless there is a compelling reason to change. The judge has not given a compelling reason, he just does not support homeschooling. That is not justice. I wrote the the governor to let her know that homeschooling is legal and this judge is simply out of line. The status quo part is what ticks me off. Thanks for writing. I hope more people do. Feel free to post contact info and we'll write from out of state too :) We haven't seen her petition, we haven't read his responses, we really know very very little about what has been alleged and what the proof offered in court was and what the arguments of the parties were. We really truly don't know. We just know what her best friend wants us to know, and really nothing more. it should be a matter of public record....? or is that only when it is final? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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