saraha Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 You all, I just got a Facebook invite to a “Sweet truck shower” by my sil. A “sweet truck shower”. A shower for her dd’s new food truck. Yup. There was an accompanying Amazon wishlist. I don’t even know what to think of this. 17 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 I mean, I get supporting this 19 year old who with her dad built this food truck from the chassis up, but this just seems… 🤷🏼♀️. They’re serving pulled pork bbq though… 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 "Congratulations on your new endeavor. Unfortunately I am unable to attend." This would have fit into a conversation I had yesterday about worrying signs of the economy. Oh my goodness. 9 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I would support her by buying food from her truck at least once and more often if it was good food. No way on the shower 17 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I don't see why a new business shower is any weirder than a new marriage shower or new baby shower. I would greatly prefer to gift a young entrepreneur some equipment and supplies versus giving a young couple extravagant linens or a first time mom newborn size Air Jordan's. 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 (edited) That does seem odd. And roughly equivalent, I would think, to a "new job" shower if such a thing is held. You know, donate money so I can afford my new wardrobe for working? IMHO, you don't start a business without first making sure you have enough capital to pull it off, and my understanding about restaurants is it is going to be 6+ months until they are profitable (often). That said, we had some friends who started a food truck. We went there to eat one of the first times they were out. Yummy! We've been back numerous times. That is how I support good businesses. They've never asked for any shower or donation, and I know it has been an up and down ride (someone stole their generator, refrigerator failed when full of food, truck repairs, etc). But they had some experience starting businesses, so they had a plan and some savings to help when times were tough. ETA: Is she looking for investors for her business? That would be a different matter, which would require a Q&A session to see if it was a good bet vs. just relative asking for funds. Edited July 6 by Bambam 11 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I'm not sure, because I'm thinking you are one of our members that has problematic sister-in-laws? The 'spirit' of a non-traditional 'shower' depends very much on the character of the one throwing it, the one receiving it, and also the tone of contents of the wishlist. In general, I love the idea of non-traditional showers that celebrate things other than marriage and motherhood. (Housewarmings can be this way, for example.) Therefore I kind of love the idea of a "entrepreneurial launch shower" -- in the general case. In the case of one specific SIL, who might not be treating her extended family in excellent ways in recent history, I might not be as enthusiastic. These things are not unconditional. We support other people's children through "showers" when we are in healthy reciprocal relationships already. If there's strain and bad feelings already: nobody should be pushing towards non-traditional gift occasions for their own kids. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 Just now, Bambam said: IMHO, you don't start a business without first making sure you have enough capital to pull it off, Couldn't the same be said about getting married or having a baby? And yet society has normalized asking your friends and relatives to give you not just the necessities (utilitarian, hand-made and pass-me-down gifts seem to have been the norm 100 years ago), but also luxuries and things your could easily borrow or do without. How could it be more tacky to ask a select group of family and close friends to help get a first business up and running...especially if they are hosting a party and providing a meal and not just asking for cash through a Go Fund Me. 8 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I’m never one for a gift grab and calling it a shower seems odd. But I kinda love the idea of supporting a young entrepreneur and if they are serving food I would probably go and check it out and eat and give a gift and call it an even swap. So it’s weird but I’m going to admit I don’t hate it. lol. 9 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 39 minutes ago, wendyroo said: I don't see why a new business shower is any weirder than a new marriage shower or new baby shower. I would greatly prefer to gift a young entrepreneur some equipment and supplies versus giving a young couple extravagant linens or a first time mom newborn size Air Jordan's. To me it is. The new marriage and new baby are adding a family member. People. Precious souls. A business that you are trying to start? That is way different than adding a living breathing soul to your family. However, I don't gift extravagant things to young couples. We had one who had a $500 coffee machine on their wish list (I'm sure it did more than just traditional coffee), but after a good laugh at that, I selected one of the reasonable priced items. Just cause you ask doesn't mean you will receive it. 9 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 8 minutes ago, wendyroo said: Couldn't the same be said about getting married or having a baby? And yet society has normalized asking your friends and relatives to give you not just the necessities (utilitarian, hand-made and pass-me-down gifts seem to have been the norm 100 years ago), but also luxuries and things your could easily borrow or do without. How could it be more tacky to ask a select group of family and close friends to help get a first business up and running...especially if they are hosting a party and providing a meal and not just asking for cash through a Go Fund Me. Well, we didn't - which is why we didn't have any kids until our 30s. But I know folks who do. And just because you have luxuries on your wish list doesn't mean you will get those things. I do see some luxury items on wish lists, but I also see the basic necessities. I'm assuming some may want to give the luxuries, and some of us want to give the necessities. Most of the folks in our acquaintance aren't wealthy, so that may be why the wish lists are typically heavy on necessities with a few luxury items tossed in. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 41 minutes ago, bolt. said: I'm not sure, because I'm thinking you are one of our members that has problematic sister-in-laws? The 'spirit' of a non-traditional 'shower' depends very much on the character of the one throwing it, the one receiving it, and also the tone of contents of the wishlist. In general, I love the idea of non-traditional showers that celebrate things other than marriage and motherhood. (Housewarmings can be this way, for example.) Therefore I kind of love the idea of a "entrepreneurial launch shower" -- in the general case. In the case of one specific SIL, who might not be treating her extended family in excellent ways in recent history, I might not be as enthusiastic. These things are not unconditional. We support other people's children through "showers" when we are in healthy reciprocal relationships already. If there's strain and bad feelings already: nobody should be pushing towards non-traditional gift occasions for their own kids. Yup, that sister in law. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 40 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: But I kinda love the idea of supporting a young entrepreneur and if they are serving food I would probably go and check it out and eat and give a gift and call it an even swap. So it’s weird but I’m going to admit I don’t hate it. lol. The more I think about it, the less I hate this idea. They are providing food, and instead of paying for it, a person pays with a gift. Makes sense I guess. There’s nothing extravagant on the wishlist, pans, potholders, etc. And depending on what we pick from the list, the gift could be cheaper than buying food from the actual truck. Sil is making the food 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 If MY 19 yo NIECE* did this, I’d help her to the best of my ability…whether it be with money or time or talent. I’m assuming it is the exceedingly rare person who doesn’t have at least one of the 3. If I was at a point in my life that I didn’t have any money, time, or talent to give, I’d give them a heartfelt apology that I couldn’t help at this moment along with an IOU and my prayers and best wishes for a successful endeavor. *Id do it do any family member but I’d be particularly happy to help a younger person. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 (edited) 1 hour ago, wendyroo said: I don't see why a new business shower is any weirder than a new marriage shower or new baby shower. I would greatly prefer to gift a young entrepreneur some equipment and supplies versus giving a young couple extravagant linens or a first time mom newborn size Air Jordan's. I see a big difference. Wedding and baby showers honor relationships and are ways to celebrate lifetime milestones. The recipient doesn’t continue to make money from a gift for an indefinite period of time, as would happen with a business. With any occasion, the person giving the gift chooses what to give. You don’t have to give an extravagant gift. If someone can’t afford the start up costs for their business, either out of pocket or through financing, it doesn’t really bode well for the success of the business. Edited July 6 by TechWife 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 15 minutes ago, TechWife said: If someone can’t afford the start up costs for their business, either out of pocket or through financing, it doesn’t really bode well for the success of the business. I would say the same thing about a baby - if you can't afford the "start up" costs, then it does not bode well for the next 18 years because the barrage of science fair projects, braces, driver's training, etc. will make basic baby supplies look like chump change. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 🤷🏻♀️ It does seem weird to me at first blush. But it’s growing on me. After all, I have participated in housewarming parties before, and that is roughly similar. My nephew rehabbed an extremely derelict house into a nice starter home and we all had a party for him and gave him gifts. Also, one of my nephews was planning an extensive sailing trip when he got married and their wedding “registry” was only donations for the sailing journey/the boat. I contributed to their main sail. I can see someone thinking is entitled to constrain giving to sailing donations, but better that than a crock pot or toaster they would not use. Kinda thinking @wendyroo is right. It’s not really much worse than what we already contribute to. And you can always decline. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 Is it possible that the mom is just super proud and excited and wants to celebrate? I can imagine wanting to do a kickoff celebration because I’d be super proud of that. I wouldn’t call it a shower and include a registry or anything but I can totally see wanting to celebrate my kid launching something like that and maybe the shower thing is a misfire? I tend to try to not just assign the “gift grab” motive to everything though. To me planning a party is such a pain y’all can just keep your gifts…I’d never do it just for that reason so I don’t think that way. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 The support that I would provide for such a pursuit would be to show up on opening day or soon after and buy food if they were in my area. If not, I would gift $10-20 to a relative or friend in that area and ask them to buy lunch from the food truck. If the food was good, I would advertise it word of mouth and social media which is worth way more than buying them something for the kitchen. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said: I’m never one for a gift grab and calling it a shower seems odd. But I kinda love the idea of supporting a young entrepreneur and if they are serving food I would probably go and check it out and eat and give a gift and call it an even swap. So it’s weird but I’m going to admit I don’t hate it. lol. I feel the same way. It sounds like this girl and her dad worked really hard to build that food truck. This must be a very big dream for her! And like her or not, the SIL is doing everything she can to help her daughter succeed, and I think that's wonderful. I definitely wouldn't let my personal negative feelings toward the SIL impact my support for my niece and her new business venture. I think calling the event a "shower" was a little weird, but I'll bet they were just trying to be cute and funny, like the niece is giving birth to her new business or something. They probably didn't know what to call it, so I wouldn't think twice about it being a shower vs a party or whatever. I would go, and I would definitely buy the niece several items off the Amazon wish list, because if Sarah and her husband and their kids will all be attending, it won't be cheap to feed all of them. I would want to be sure the niece came out ahead on this! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I love all the people saying they’d only buy food once the truck is up and running. (pssst…I don’t really love it) Pro-tip: You can do both! Support her NOW and LATER What a concept! Family helping family without a stupid interview to see if she’s worthy of your precious coin. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 19 minutes ago, Faith-manor said: The support that I would provide for such a pursuit would be to show up on opening day or soon after and buy food if they were in my area. If not, I would gift $10-20 to a relative or friend in that area and ask them to buy lunch from the food truck. If the food was good, I would advertise it word of mouth and social media which is worth way more than buying them something for the kitchen. But why wouldn't you do all of those things, plus also buy some stuff for the kitchen to give the niece at the party? It's not like the average person has an incredible social media following, and half the time, the "followers" are family and friends who would already know about the new food truck anyway. Ditto for word of mouth. It's always helpful to have as many people as possible talking about a new business, but I think you might be over-estimating the impact your endorsement (or that of one person) would have. Also, wouldn't it be weird to just hand someone cash and tell them to spend it at a particular food truck? It's a sweet thing to do, but it seems like it would be very awkward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I’d go with it for my niece. My BIL bought my daughter EVERYTHING on her teacher wishlist the first year she taught in public schools. Whatever gets them launched and times just keep changing. At some point you embrace the strangeness or become that old person saying “back in my day . . . “ 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 (edited) 51 minutes ago, wendyroo said: I would say the same thing about a baby - if you can't afford the "start up" costs, then it does not bode well for the next 18 years because the barrage of science fair projects, braces, driver's training, etc. will make basic baby supplies look like chump change. I agree -- and also, this girl already has some serious sweat equity invested in this business. She and her dad built the truck from the chassis up -- that's a ton of work and a tremendous amount of time and dedication! This kid is serious! Ok, so maybe she doesn't have a lot of money behind her and she's starting this business on a shoestring budget -- but she's DOING IT. She is only 19 years old, so how else would she be starting this business unless her parents were paying for most of it? She's still so young, but she is showing such incredible grit and determination that I would want to go out of my way to support that. If this is the only way she can get her new business off the ground, I can't imagine not wanting to help her. (And it sounds like the Amazon wish list is mainly all inexpensive and practical things she needs for her business, so she's not trying to be greedy here. If she had a Sub-Zero refrigerator and a 60" Wolf dual fuel range on her wish list, I would have some negative opinions about that, but potholders and pans? That kind of stuff seems perfectly reasonable.) Edited July 6 by Catwoman 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 3 hours ago, saraha said: They’re serving pulled pork bbq though… So it's an excuse to get some word of mouth, FB, etc. going? If the food is free, then your gift is the cost of the food. Sure it's weird, but it could be fun. I hope for your niece's sake the BBQ is good. 🙂 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I wonder if she could set up in the parking lot where you work on days with large tours. (Sorry if I'm confusing boardies, but I'm pretty sure that was your job that had limited catering options) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 (edited) It’s something where I don’t know if I would do it, but I wouldn’t be offended to be invited. My vibe is they are “calling” it a shower, but I would mentally classify it as an “mlm” event. I feel like “mlm” etiquette is, if you don’t go, no problem. If you do go, enjoy the event and plan to at least buy something small to support the host. And be open to buying more. And don’t go if you know you don’t want to buy anything and don’t want to buy something anyway (to give as a gift or something). Edited July 6 by Lecka 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogger Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 A shower does sound weird but the concept of kick starting a business by giving out food is not so strange. Perhaps calling it a truck warming party like the equivalent house warming party would have made more sense. I'd go for the BBQ. Lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 1 hour ago, wendyroo said: I would say the same thing about a baby - if you can't afford the "start up" costs, then it does not bode well for the next 18 years because the barrage of science fair projects, braces, driver's training, etc. will make basic baby supplies look like chump change. Children don’t need any of those things to be wonderful people. Spending money on a child doesn’t make people good parents, just as not spending money on them makes them bad parents. Business’ that can’t manage start up expenses are businesses that will probably not succeed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 6 Author Share Posted July 6 21 minutes ago, Miss Tick said: I wonder if she could set up in the parking lot where you work on days with large tours. (Sorry if I'm confusing boardies, but I'm pretty sure that was your job that had limited catering options) That’s me. I had thought of this. We have a few more big tours scheduled and her truck is a dessert truck, so wouldn’t interfere with the caterers the company hires. I am waiting til she’s up and running before floating it to boss lady. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 8 minutes ago, TechWife said: Business’ that can’t manage start up expenses are businesses that will probably not succeed. Why be so negative? This kid is only 19 years old and she is already starting a business. Does she have a strong financial base and a cushion of money behind her to cover all of her startup expenses? Probably not. She's only 19. I agree with you on that. Her parents appear to be supporting her in any way they can, but apparently they aren't made of money, either. But what I'm seeing here that could have a huge impact on the success of the business is that the niece and her parents have determination and the willingness to work hard to help her business succeed. If, after building that whole food truck themselves, and the niece coming up with her recipes and figuring out her suppliers and setting her pricing and all the other things she had to do to get this thing going, she still needs some kitchen supplies and some other small items, so her mom decides to throw her a "shower," why wouldn't her extended family and friends want to help her out? It seems like the kind and supportive thing to do. I can't guarantee that this business will succeed. I know the odds are against new businesses, especially those that are low on available cash, but it hurts no one to try to remain positive and to try to help this enterprising and ambitious young woman succeed at her dream. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 23 minutes ago, saraha said: That’s me. I had thought of this. We have a few more big tours scheduled and her truck is a dessert truck, so wouldn’t interfere with the caterers the company hires. I am waiting til she’s up and running before floating it to boss lady. I think that would be an incredibly great thing to do for her! It's smart to wait for her to work the kinks out before you recommend her, because not only do you want her to make the best possible first impression, your own reputation is important, too, so you don't want to promote anyone until you're sure they will meet expectations. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 I think this is ok. But just like a shower of any kind, personally I would only play along for nearest and dearest. As a parent paying for college right now, is it cool to throw a shower for that? LOL. Finishing and launching young adults isn't cheap a lot of the time. For a niece or nephew we would probably would do something. But we might eye roll depending on which one it is. We have at least one set that spend money hand over fist and it will be interesting to see how their kids launch. So it does depend on history and relationships and how broad of an audience got invites like this. I never had a baby shower. Somehow my babies got plenty of gifts and love anyway. Showers are not an entitlement. Some communities like churches do showers all the time. That is great if everyone knows what to expect. Saraha - considering promoting the food truck to your business is a super kind idea if everything works out! As I've discussed with my young adults many times, wherever you go, you are making connections that can lead to opportunites. Career, personal, etc. So bring your best self and leave a positve impression wherever you go. My kid landed a super competitive job after graduating college last year that was the result of a quirky connection that you have never thought would lead to a huge job opportunity. If this is a family that comes out for everyone else, this is probably a fine idea and event and a lot of people will be happy to support. If they have a sense of entitlment as they move through the world, it may not go that well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 16 minutes ago, Catwoman said: Why be so negative? This kid is only 19 years old and she is already starting a business. Does she have a strong financial base and a cushion of money behind her to cover all of her startup expenses? Probably not. She's only 19. I agree with you on that. Her parents appear to be supporting her in any way they can, but apparently they aren't made of money, either. But what I'm seeing here that could have a huge impact on the success of the business is that the niece and her parents have determination and the willingness to work hard to help her business succeed. If, after building that whole food truck themselves, and the niece coming up with her recipes and figuring out her suppliers and setting her pricing and all the other things she had to do to get this thing going, she still needs some kitchen supplies and some other small items, so her mom decides to throw her a "shower," why wouldn't her extended family and friends want to help her out? It seems like the kind and supportive thing to do. I can't guarantee that this business will succeed. I know the odds are against new businesses, especially those that are low on available cash, but it hurts no one to try to remain positive and to try to help this enterprising and ambitious young woman succeed at her dream. I agree with this sentiment. If she was a pregnant teenager having a baby shower nobody would question the registry. This seems more responsible on every level. Most kids don’t have rich parents to hand them everything so they need to be a bit scrappier and more creative to get a business off the ground. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyroo Posted July 6 Share Posted July 6 10 minutes ago, catz said: As a parent paying for college right now, is it cool to throw a shower for that? Isn't that called a graduation party? I mean the gifts I got at my graduation party (both money and objects) were a mere drop in the bucket compared to my total college costs, but I would assume that the gifts from the food truck shower (pots and potholders and the like) will be a drop in the bucket compared to the total start up cost of the business. And in both cases the recipient of the "shower" hosts a party and serves food, which further negates any financial benefit they receive. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 12 minutes ago, wendyroo said: Isn't that called a graduation party? Sure. We didn't have one for various reasons. And again, my kids got a small number of cards and money anyway. I do think sending an invite specifically with essentially a request for a gift is different. Someone here was encouraged to attend graduation open houses last week without the ability to give a gift at that time. Which I personally think is 100% fine. If I am hosting an open house, it would be to celebrate and not remotely about gifts. I don't think the same advice would be given for a shower invite with a registry included. I did have a graduation open house when I graduated. I got some monetary gifts but definitely not from everyone who attended. I think registries can be fine but are for certain times and places and communities. At the end of the day, know your own community. A few years back when my kids were high school age we got a few go fund me for acquaintences kids to attend a very extravagant cross country camp of some kind. Something my own kids never did. So I do think asking the general public to fund something like that without a pretty special reason is odd. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 I’d attend even if I thought the business would fail. So that seems an interesting take to be negative about it. I wouldn’t invest but I could trade some potholders for some bbq and be a cheerleader. Why not? My not attending a launch party isn’t going to make the young person rethink their business strategy. The older I get the smaller my family and my circle has gotten. I read a lot on here about people embracing that and being relieved to retreat to themselves and their nuclear families and being really harsh about who they share time and space with. I’m the opposite. I wish my circle was larger even if it included some extended family with weird ideas about showers. Yeah I’d attend a weird food truck shower for sure. Wouldn’t throw one though. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 I think calling it a "shower" is actually cute and very sweet, especially given that it's practical stuff. So this young kid is potentially going to get business from word of mouth and perhaps loved ones buying food later, AND they also might shower her with some much-needed essentials so she gets a leg up on a profitable business? What a fantastic boost to her self esteem and practical assistance! If your sibling told you your niece was moving into an apartment or going to college or starting a new job,and you said, "Great! What does she need?," and your sibling said she could use a blazer or a backpack or a bucket of cleaning supplies, and you gave those as a show of support at a celebratory family dinner, nobody would think that was weird. This sounds like the mom is just giving it a bit of a cute name. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 I go back and forth about it. We didn’t do graduation parties. Sil did. She gave some of my kids money for graduating and some she didn’t. We gave her kids small amounts we could afford. When ds24 moved out and got his first place, no one made a big deal except my mom and sister. So there’s no precedent set. In addition, this particular niece went through a very nasty stage and hurt one of our dds very very much and continues to pretty much ignore our existence. At get togethers she sits in a corner on her phone complaining, so not a relative that is engaged with many of the people invited. At the same time, sil’s other dd and dil both throw big birthday parties for their kids and Facebook invite everyone they know and pass out a gift registry. We never went after their first birthday. We are friendly when we see each other, which is a WHOLE lot less now that mil is in such a deteriorated state and not hosting now. But not really involved in each other’s lives. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wisdomandtreasures Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 Everything. Literally everything... is a gift grab these days. My goodness. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 3 minutes ago, saraha said: I go back and forth about it. We didn’t do graduation parties. Sil did. She gave some of my kids money for graduating and some she didn’t. We gave her kids small amounts we could afford. When ds24 moved out and got his first place, no one made a big deal except my mom and sister. So there’s no precedent set. In addition, this particular niece went through a very nasty stage and hurt one of our dds very very much and continues to pretty much ignore our existence. At get togethers she sits in a corner on her phone complaining, so not a relative that is engaged with many of the people invited. At the same time, sil’s other dd and dil both throw big birthday parties for their kids and Facebook invite everyone they know and pass out a gift registry. We never went after their first birthday. We are friendly when we see each other, which is a WHOLE lot less now that mil is in such a deteriorated state and not hosting now. But not really involved in each other’s lives. Well all this certainly colors the situation beyond just the concept. None of that encourages warm relationships. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 I just now got to ask dh about it, he said sil had group texted he and his brother about it. I asked if he wanted to go and he rolled his eyes and was like, not really. He went on to say if he was out somewhere and saw her set up, he’d be happy to stop and buy something from her or whatever, but he is not going to a food truck baby shower or whatever 😆 Just now, teachermom2834 said: Well all this certainly colors the situation beyond just the concept. None of that encourages warm relationships. Yeah, that’s why I didn’t put it in the original post. I wanted to see what reactions were to the concept without coloring it with personal information. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 (edited) 13 minutes ago, saraha said: I go back and forth about it. We didn’t do graduation parties. Sil did. She gave some of my kids money for graduating and some she didn’t. We gave her kids small amounts we could afford. When ds24 moved out and got his first place, no one made a big deal except my mom and sister. So there’s no precedent set. In addition, this particular niece went through a very nasty stage and hurt one of our dds very very much and continues to pretty much ignore our existence. At get togethers she sits in a corner on her phone complaining, so not a relative that is engaged with many of the people invited. At the same time, sil’s other dd and dil both throw big birthday parties for their kids and Facebook invite everyone they know and pass out a gift registry. We never went after their first birthday. We are friendly when we see each other, which is a WHOLE lot less now that mil is in such a deteriorated state and not hosting now. But not really involved in each other’s lives. So that would color my feelings. I would probably approach it the same as a baby shower for her -- give what, if anything, feels acceptable to you and don't feel obligated for more. And if it would be nothing for a baby shower, that's okay too. Edited July 7 by happypamama 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 1 hour ago, Catwoman said: Why be so negative? … Not negative, realistic. I’ve watched countless small businesses fail. I grew up in a small business that succeeded in part because it was well financed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 49 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: … The older I get the smaller my family and my circle has gotten. I read a lot on here about people embracing that and being relieved to retreat to themselves and their nuclear families and being really harsh about who they share time and space with. I’m the opposite. I wish my circle was larger even if it included some extended family with weird ideas about showers. Yeah I’d attend a weird food truck shower for sure. Wouldn’t throw one though. You’re reminding me of the cat funeral episode on Gilmore Girls. I loved that all of their friends turned up for it & that there was never any hesitation or weirdness about doing so. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogger Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 (edited) 2 hours ago, TechWife said: Children don’t need any of those things to be wonderful people. Spending money on a child doesn’t make people good parents, just as not spending money on them makes them bad parents. Business’ that can’t manage start up expenses are businesses that will probably not succeed. You could reword this: Businesses that can't find investors to cover their start up costs are probably not going to succeed. My Dad jokes he started his shop with 50 cents in his pocket but he was able to get a loan. Sold it 5 years later as a thriving business to move onto his dream job. Some people have a ton of capital to start with and lose it all. Starting capital is important but the most important thing is that you turn a profit on each dollar invested. Edited July 7 by frogger Grammar and typos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frogger Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 1 hour ago, catz said: I think registries can be fine but are for certain times and places and communities. At the end of the day, know your own community. I do think registries odd in general honestly. I have never had one for anything. At the same time it feels practical since it is hard to know the practicality of a gift for a specific couple or baby or whatever so I am conflicted. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 I think business launches are normal, but gift registries for business launches are weird. A business launch event is to make yourself known, treat people so they'll be ambassadors, willing to bring your new business up in conversation, recommend and invite their friends to become customers. A registry is asking people to pay you for paying them to do you a favour, isn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 3 hours ago, Catwoman said: But why wouldn't you do all of those things, plus also buy some stuff for the kitchen to give the niece at the party? It's not like the average person has an incredible social media following, and half the time, the "followers" are family and friends who would already know about the new food truck anyway. Ditto for word of mouth. It's always helpful to have as many people as possible talking about a new business, but I think you might be over-estimating the impact your endorsement (or that of one person) would have. Also, wouldn't it be weird to just hand someone cash and tell them to spend it at a particular food truck? It's a sweet thing to do, but it seems like it would be very awkward. Because in my area, 90% of all independently owned restaurants and 80% of all food trucks go bankrupt in the 1st year. It just isn't an investment I can get behind. My nieces and nephews all received money from us for their high school graduations, and we paid for one niece's wedding dress. We have been generous. But we also have our own four adult kids whom we assist with big life events, so buying things like this for someone's risky business venture just isn't on our horizon. When my daughter became a paramedic, her company did not provide any of the uniforms. It was nearly $750 in clothes, and $7000 in tuition. We didn't have a paramedic shower. When ds needed a significant sum of money for his engineering senior project, we didn't have a senior project shower. It would be awkward around here to do that. I think it is fine if others have the budget and want to do it. We just would not. Given that our local communities all have Facebook pages for the promotion of businesses and to leave reviews, I do believe it would be helpful. But we can agree to disagree on that. I don't really have a personal grasp of the reach of each individual's social media on the WTM. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 7 Share Posted July 7 (edited) I would understand a business launch party. An " I want to start a business but y'all need to give me stuff" party? Not so much. I'd expect a food truck business to serve *their* food at their launch party. Pulled pork, but it's a dessert truck? Not sure I get that. I'd be happy to patronize and help promote the new business by leaving reviews, sharing on social media, or buying gift certificates for my friends. But first, there should BE a business. Edited July 7 by regentrude 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.