Thinking of sending teen to public school

[Janeway]

Wanted to put this out there to see what others have to say, because I am unsure of what to think really. My teen who is currently homeschooling, a middle child, is a great person to homeschool. He is eager to learn and very receptive to lessons. He has goals for his future and is eagerly working toward it. 

But, I also realize my husband is shooting for retirement in just over ten years. And I dread spending money on anything I don't have to. And I just don't feel like it anymore. For example, I know I should put him in some outsourced science classes and will need to do that for math too. Right now, he is taking Latin and writing elsewhere. I am guessing he should do community college courses at some point.  Our CC classes are not free for homeschoolers and our state does not do dual enrollment at the public schools for home schoolers. This means it all comes down to me paying for it. If we were talking $1000 a year, then fine. But one 3 credit course from a local community college would cost me about $600.  This child is quite intelligent so I would fully expect him to take calculus by 10th or 11th grade as well as chemistry and/or physics. At public school, he could take all these AP classes and do robotics and such. I have not even been able to find any Robotics for teens in our area. Everything is either through schools (which home schoolers cannot do) or for young children.

Part of me thinks.."I can do this!" and I am just preemptively freaking out. I just need to be creative and maybe we could just do 2 classes a semester and the costs might not be so bad. I just need to get creative with how we do things. But then another part of me thinks...we pay a ton of taxes, just send him to school, take a nap, and save the money for retirement. (fyi, we have saved for retirement so we are not having big issues or struggling there. I have simply always been naturally frugal).

I am hoping to hear others thoughts, feelings, what they have gone through, encouragement, discouragement, just love to hear what you all say! Thanks!

Edited to add: he is not in ninth grade yet so he would start in ninth. I do not love the local public schools at all. 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Janeway

[footballmom]

Is he interested in trying public school? Does he have a strong opinion one way or another? What is your opinion of you local high school options?

[SHP]

In some areas high school is all or nothing for homeschooling and they will not accept homeschooling credits. I would check that out. Said without knowing your teens grade.

You might look at non local community colleges to see if there are any that are cheaper, even with an out of state rate.

[easypeasy]

If I had to do it over again with an intelligent, motivated teen who was open to the idea of going to public school and we had a solid public school my kid could attend, I’d have at least tried it. 
 

Where we are, a hs’er has to start ps hs in 9th grade or it’s practically impossible due to the way the ps calculates and allows transfer credits (they will count zero hs’ing credits). So I wish I’d tried in 9th grade and then would have simply brought my kid home if ps was a failed experiment. 
 

(and I say this as a mom of very high-achieving students who each earned $$$ in competitive scholarships and/or got into very competitive colleges. But high school at home was stressful (on me, lol), exhausting and expensive & I’m not always sure it was worth it.)

Edited April 13, 2023 by easypeasy

[prairiewindmomma]

I homeschooled Oldest K-12. My middles are now in public school, and it’s been good for them. They have access to all kinds of things I can’t do at home. Youngest is homeschooled and it will be up to her what she does, but I kind of hope she chooses public high school. 

[kirstenhill]

My older two went to public school in 8th and 9th respectively.  It has worked out very well for them.  They both wanted to make the leap and were ready to do so.  My next in line, DS14 will give it a try as well for 9th grade.  He is eager, but I have more doubts about how it will work with him for various reasons.  But, it is much easier to try it and then pull him back out after a couple months if it is not going well, than to think about starting high school at home and enter public school later.  At least in our area, that would be almost impossible or would involve repeating a grade.  I think we'll be able to tell early on if it's not a good fit, and pivot back to full time homeschooling (or part time - he is actually taking one public school class this year, and he could take a class or two at the high school and still be a homeschooler as his primary status).

[Katy]

I didn't know if I was done or if I just needed a break after the pandemic, especially as it was clear I would not be a good teacher for one of my youngest with multiple disabilities. We moved to an area with good schools and great disability accommodations. So far public school is great for everyone.  Less than one year in.

[Frances]

What are your reasons for homeschooling? If they no longer apply and he is interested in attending public school, then it is probably worth a try. You can always pull him out if it doesn’t work.

Many of the private colleges here offer greatly reduced tuition for gifted high school students. My son was able to take two classes per semester for two years for $200 each and audit an unlimited amount for $50 each. In general, these classes were far superior to our local CC. Have you checked to see if you have any colleges nearby that do something similar? None of the ones here advertise it. My son also took an amazing class for free at our local medical school that led to a summer research position. Many of the opportunities here for gifted students are handled through high school guidance counselors, so homeschoolers have to find them and inquire on their own.

As homeschoolers here are allowed to participate in all public school music and sports (and other competitive activities governed by the state like speech and debate) and can even take classes, it’s not so much an all or nothing thing.

[Guest]

My youngest is in his senior year at public school after homeschooling all years up to 9th grade. We have similar parameters in my state; homeschoolers are completely separate from all public facilities and you can only participate in private things or homeschool co-ops. It’s also not advisable to try to put kids in public high school at a point after 9th grade because they rarely accept credits. So my way of looking at it was always: the choice we make starting 9th is what we must stick with, come hell or high water. 
 

 

[Hilltopmom]

Public school is going to cost money too- teens just plain are expensive. You may not be paying for classes, but sports, band, preferred clothes, activities, school lunches  etc also add up.

I have one who homeschooled all the way through and one who started ps in 8th grade. Both options worked out fine in the end. The one who went to ps had learning disabilities & struggled. She was also able to attend a vo tech program that she loved!

Can always give it a try! How does child feel about it? If you don’t want to homeschool 4 more years, that’s ok. You don’t have to. 

Edited April 13, 2023 by Hilltopmom

[Ali in OR]

Our homeschool plan was always to put them in public high school. We also thought it likely they would go away to college and it felt important for them to start getting out into the outside world more before that. We don't have any options for advanced courses for homeschoolers here. I took several community college courses myself to renew my teaching credential and the academic quality of our local college is definitely lower than good high school courses, particularly AP courses. My dds are now in college (one finishing grad school) and at this age they both lean toward wishing they had been in school earlier. I remind them that they actually know math and grammar better for homeschooling, but they are at an age where they feel the missings of the social connections they didn't have. And as I now have a career I enjoy, it wouldn't have been such a bad thing for me to get back to that a few years earlier. So I lean toward going the school route.

[Bambam]

I think the answer may depend upon your public schools. The ones here do offer AP courses, but not many kids actually take or pass the AP exams, so I am not sure if the courses are quality in delivery, kids just aren't interested, etc. So although a local HS looks stellar (IB, AP, etc) on paper, I'm not sure the actual results are as amazing - but this is just from random contact with various students. So if I was considering it, I'd have to do much more real research to see if quality education was being delivered. But ... they do have some sort of arrangement with a local CC where the kids can take DC classes for free. However, as you say, the quality of the CC classes are not great, but you can get an Associates Degree for free while in high school (not sure what hurdles kids have to reach/jump in order to be part of that program). 

But ... as an engineer, sometimes taking some basic foundational/need-to-use-this-knowledge-later classes early at a subpar institution can hinder you later (hard to go back and review Chem 1 which you took 3 years earlier when you need some of that knowledge for Chem 2 in college). So, for me, any college major that builds upon past knowledge (engineering, some sciences, accounting, probably more that I don't know about), you want to do your research carefully to make sure any of those major DC/CC classes are well done and will prepare the student for success later. How to do this? I have no idea, we just got lucky, I think! 

 

[DawnM]

I went with what my kids wanted to do.   My oldest wanted to start CC at age 16 and it worked well for him.   Tuition was free, but we did pay fees of about $600 per year.  It wasn't bad.   However, $600 per class is honestly not horrible and let's say he (just for argument sake) took a full load of 5 classes.   That would be $6,000 per year, which is still much cheaper than most of our private local schools.   AND definitely much cheaper than actually going away to college.   To me, that would be enough of a win-win if he is interested in going.

My 2nd and 3rd sons went to public high school in 10th and 7th and it was no problem.   Only one took an AP class but he scored a 3 on the exam so it didn't count as college credit.   He got an A in the class though.    Both are now in college and doing well.   But we are paying much more!

All that to say, I would see what he wants and then see what to do.

[East Coast Sue]

I’d go with a heavy emphasis on your ds desire for high school. Mine all opted to attend high school. First one choose a math/science charter school, nationally recognized as a top 10 high school. She thrived there. She entered ready for AP Latin and graduated at the top of her class. Next one opted for IB programme at our feeder school. Third one opted for a technical high school and is doing well. Last one will probably pick public high school but I’m not sure which school as she has another year to decide. Bottom line, if your kid is a motivated, engaged student go with their choice and you won’t have any regrets. Best wishes! 

[QueenCat]

What does your son want to do? There are certainly opportunities but I wouldn't expect it to necessarily be cheaper. Especially with things like robotics teams and the travel to competitions that go with it. 

[BlsdMama]

12 hours ago, Frances said:

What are your reasons for homeschooling? 

It comes down to this ^.  For me, weighing my reason to homeschool vs my reasons to not - not all reasons are weighted the same. It is *most* important to me to homeschool through high school, more so than in younger grades. 

5 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

Public school is going to cost money too- teens just plain are expensive.

This is the truth. More and more, schools need help. There are book fees, bussing fees, extra curriculars, etc. At our house, teens would need more out and about clothing, food costs, etc. 

[athena1277]

Let me throw out some other options, since you don’t think the local ps is super great.  There are lots of online high schools where he could take q1 or more (or all) classes that have AP level classes and are really good.  Another option for dual enrollment is to do online dual enrollment.  Many colleges have this.  I recently looked at Troy State University in AL as a possibility for my ds.  I’m sure there are others.  If there’s a college that might he might be interested in going to later, start there.

[Spy Car]

I'm not sure what the situation is where you live, but here in Los Angeles we have a fair bit of freedom in choosing which public school and which program within those schools our students attend.

Many schools have Magnet programs that function as schools within schools, with specialized emphasises.

The high school my son attended was no great shakes in the "general" program (pretty poor, truth told), but had an utterly fantastic magnet program that suited him brilliantly. That made all the difference in the world.

Other schools had STEM and robotics as special fields. 

This situation may not apply, but locally the best advice I could give--as a public school parent--is to research the options to see if there is a good fit should you decide on a PS route.

Bill

Edited April 13, 2023 by Spy Car

[ScoutTN]

7 hours ago, QueenCat said:

What does your son want to do? There are certainly opportunities but I wouldn't expect it to necessarily be cheaper. Especially with things like robotics teams and the travel to competitions that go with it. 

This.

[Porridge]

7 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

. It is *most* important to me to homeschool through high school, more so than in younger grades. 

Can you share a little about why the high school years are more important to you than the younger years for homeschool?

[Janeway]

19 hours ago, BlsdMama said:

It comes down to this ^.  For me, weighing my reason to homeschool vs my reasons to not - not all reasons are weighted the same. It is *most* important to me to homeschool through high school, more so than in younger grades. 

This is the truth. More and more, schools need help. There are book fees, bussing fees, extra curriculars, etc. At our house, teens would need more out and about clothing, food costs, etc. 

Has dawned on me that I will need to buy him clothes, get him a cell phone, etc. 

[Janeway]

On 4/12/2023 at 11:27 PM, Frances said:

What are your reasons for homeschooling? If they no longer apply and he is interested in attending public school, then it is probably worth a try. You can always pull him out if it doesn’t work.

 

Originally, at the elementary level, the staff at the schools were awful. They were bullies and dumb. My oldest has ASD and was reading chapter books by kindergarten. School was a nightmare. Before Kindergarten, he tested at 3rd grade level reading and end of 2nd grade level math. But labeled with ASD, he was not allowed to be in the classroom for part of the day. In the special education room, they just gave him worksheets because they had nothing else to do with him, he did not need remediation. And he was being thrown in the solitary confinement where he would cry and beg to not be there. He also was coming home with bruises on him, inflicted by a staff member. Some staff members who saw it called me and told me what was going on. That child is now 21 yrs old and has PTSD from his time in public school. And it was topped off by the fact that he was never educated while he was there. It is sick and it is abuse. 

With this younger child, who is 13 yrs old now, he never went through the physical or psychological abuse, but there were some issues. This included the fact that just because he has ASD, he was required to go to a pull out class for part of the day where he was just kept from the education going on in the class. While policies are no longer official, I already know one school counselor at the public school who told me she was informed she was not to put kids with IEPs in to AP or preAP classes and the gt program will not allow anyone with a DX in. That school counselor still put the kids in those classes and was disgusted by this illegal practice.

[Innisfree]

If he won’t be allowed to work at his appropriate academic level, I’d lean more heavily toward keeping him home, and exploring other ways to reduce your need to teach him directly. But if the counselor will be supportive, maybe school would be fine.

What does he want to do? My experience has been that by high school age, kids do best if their voice is clearly heard in choices like this.

Does your area allow students who have been homeschooled for part of high school to then transfer into public school without losing credits? As others have said, many don’t. If your area doesn’t let them transfer into public high school in, say, 11th grade, I would be strongly tempted to start him there in 9th grade. See how it goes. If he does well and likes it, great; if not, he’ll still have credit for the time spent there, and you’ll have had a break. 

Both of mine were done with having mom teach them by ninth grade. Both started in public school then, but hated the chaos, noise, and discipline problems (obviously not all public schools are like that). I insisted they each finish a full year, to allow time for adjustment, but then each returned eagerly to learning at home, one taking rigorous online classes and community college classes, and the other doing the public school online program through the pandemic. Ymmv, and lots of options can work. I’d really emphasize what your ds wants to do.