Ann.without.an.e Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 https://scrubsmag.com/nicu-nurse-adopts-teen-mom-of-three-preemie-triplets/ Sweet story ❤️ 10 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephanier.1765 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 The capacity human beings have for doing things like this is amazing. Thank you for sharing! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 That’s lovely! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 She not only changed the course of the 14 year old mom's life - she changed the course of the lives of the triplets. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 I’ll be the odd one out - I have so many ethical questions about this situation. The RN crossed boundary lines, apparently early, that it’s hard to know how this would have played out otherwise. Just, yikes. I hope everyone is safe & living in a healthy situation. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 14 minutes ago, TechWife said: I’ll be the odd one out - I have so many ethical questions about this situation. The RN crossed boundary lines, apparently early, that it’s hard to know how this would have played out otherwise. Just, yikes. I hope everyone is safe & living in a healthy situation. The referral to foster care tells me that this is a teenager who desperately needed someone who was willing to cross some boundary lines. Most teens in this situation would end up losing those babies—the foster care system would impose expectations the teen likely didn’t have capacity or support system to meet. I think it’s likely the adoptive mom saved her life. 14 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 We had an older single friend that took in single mom and her baby. The little girl was 7 when we moved away and they were all still a family. He felt strongly that this was often the best way to go. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 4 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: The referral to foster care tells me that this is a teenager who desperately needed someone who was willing to cross some boundary lines. Most teens in this situation would end up losing those babies—the foster care system would impose expectations the teen likely didn’t have capacity or support system to meet. I think it’s likely the adoptive mom saved her life. It is nice if it's all on the up and up. Young people like this are likely very vulnerable to abuse. It's a bit crazy to me that a 14 year old was sent home with triplet preemies without a boat load of services and supports in place. But that is our system for you. 16 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 5 minutes ago, catz said: It's a bit crazy to me that a 14 year old was sent home with triplet preemies without a boat load of services and supports in place. But that is our system for you. That’s where it starts for me. I’m going to assume the best outcome has been achieved, but I would also think 2 months of NICU and additional visits would have given some hints as to the home situation one way or another, and all medical professionals are mandated reporters. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 32 minutes ago, TechWife said: I’ll be the odd one out - I have so many ethical questions about this situation. The RN crossed boundary lines, apparently early, that it’s hard to know how this would have played out otherwise. Just, yikes. I hope everyone is safe & living in a healthy situation. I don’t think that’s the case though. Someone with compassion sees a young girl in a tough spot with obviously zero support in place and steps in to help. Do we really live in a society where we have to question her motives or the situation? It seems like all the nurse did was talk her through some things and offered her number so she could reach out if she needed. It was a nice gesture. It doesn’t feel at all to me like she forced herself on this girl. Babies born at 26 weeks means these babies were there for a long time. This girl was obviously there alone a lot to visit them (if she was seeking the nurse out to talk to). She needed someone for help or else she wouldn’t have been a foster care risk and she would’ve called someone other than the nurse. If she had a mom or grandmother or anyone else who could help, I doubt she would’ve leaned into this nurse. My humble opinion is that we need more people like this in the world. But if those with care and compassion are questioned, picked apart, and ridiculed for helping then who will be left to help?? Yes there are cases where someone with authority uses that with a bad motive but this is obviously not the case. 15 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 I can see being a little worried about this being some weird situation with the nurse, but since there was already CPS involvement, I would hope that things were checked out thoroughly. Honestly, I'm more disturbed by the tone of the article acting like it was completely normal for a 14 year old to give birth to triplets. It makes it seem like the big problems with the situation are the lack of sleep. Why is nothing addressing the problem of a 14 year old being pregnant and giving birth on her own to triplets? Where are the girls parents? If they aren't in the picture, why isn't this girl in foster care herself? This child needs support herself and I hope she found it but I feel like her being tired taking care of triplets is the least of the issues surrounding the situation. 13 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 13 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said: I can see being a little worried about this being some weird situation with the nurse, but since there was already CPS involvement, I would hope that things were checked out thoroughly. Honestly, I'm more disturbed by the tone of the article acting like it was completely normal for a 14 year old to give birth to triplets. It makes it seem like the big problems with the situation are the lack of sleep. Why is nothing addressing the problem of a 14 year old being pregnant and giving birth on her own to triplets? Where are the girls parents? If they aren't in the picture, why isn't this girl in foster care herself? This child needs support herself and I hope she found it but I feel like her being tired taking care of triplets is the least of the issues surrounding the situation. yes the situation of a 14 year old girl being released to an unfit home is mind boggling. But I also think that’s why the nurse was trying to help? This wasn’t the original article I read, it came up on Apple News from a different magazine and it expounded more but when I wanted to share it here I couldn’t find it. Her coworkers talked about how she’d been a nicu nurse for 20? 30? Years and they’d all seen a lot of difficult cases but this one topped them all. The nurse didn’t have a habit of involving herself in patients lives, it’s just this was a really crazy circumstance 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) That's really a very strange story. Is it from a developed country? It says Indiana -- but can that really be true? Why aren't there any social services available? Where is the social worker who should have been following and facilitating the whole pregnancy? Where and with whom does this girl live? How does she have a home at all -- does she work? Why isn't she in school? Why would there be no childcare or accommodations available for a parent with a child in hospital? Why is foster care a terrifying prospect? Why wouldn't the teen-headed family be cared for as a unit? Have charges been laid against the male progenitor of these babies? Or is he a child too? And the only solution for a teen pregnancy is that in her whole horrible saga, this girl was lucky enough to have glancing contact with a single individual person -- somewhat who was willing and able to take on the total cost, burden, housing, and care of four extra people as their own personal choice? And the only reason why this is a compelling story is because the teen had a multiple pregnancy -- what happens to 13yos raising just one baby? Do healthcare professionals regularly adopt them too? Where is society??? Edited March 23, 2023 by bolt. 8 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 There is a gofundme set up ”Mar 10, 2023 — This GoFund me will be used to build a financial cushion for my adopted Daughter Shariya… Katrina Mullen needs your support for Shariya ...” https://mobile.twitter.com/katrinamullen23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 5 minutes ago, Arcadia said: There is a gofundme set up ”Mar 10, 2023 — This GoFund me will be used to build a financial cushion for my adopted Daughter Shariya… Katrina Mullen needs your support for Shariya ...” https://mobile.twitter.com/katrinamullen23 Of course there is. This is how the USA funds social services. By crowdfunding. I should have known nobody can take on four extra people in their household at the drop of a hat. This is so sad. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 33 minutes ago, bolt. said: That's really a very strange story. Is it from a developed country? It says Indiana -- but can that really be true? Why aren't there any social services available? Where is the social worker who should have been following and facilitating the whole pregnancy? Where and with whom does this girl live? How does she have a home at all -- does she work? Why isn't she in school? Why would there be no childcare or accommodations available for a parent with a child in hospital? Why is foster care a terrifying prospect? Why wouldn't the teen-headed family be cared for as a unit? Have charges been laid against the male progenitor of these babies? Or is he a child too? And the only solution for a teen pregnancy is that in her whole horrible saga, this girl was lucky enough to have glancing contact with a single individual person -- somewhat who was willing and able to take on the total cost, burden, housing, and care of four extra people as their own personal choice? And the only reason why this is a compelling story is because the teen had a multiple pregnancy -- what happens to 13yos raising just one baby? Do healthcare professionals regularly adopt them too? Where is society??? I would not refer to the USA as a developed nation. We have the glitz and tech to put glitter on a buffalo plop and make it look like a work of art. While the 14 year old having triplets is not common, turning people out to highly unsafe environments with no support is totally the norm here. The system appears to only care about humans as embryos and fetuses, but now so much once they can breathe independently. Society is AWOL. 7 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 55 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said: I can see being a little worried about this being some weird situation with the nurse, but since there was already CPS involvement, I would hope that things were checked out thoroughly. Honestly, I'm more disturbed by the tone of the article acting like it was completely normal for a 14 year old to give birth to triplets. It makes it seem like the big problems with the situation are the lack of sleep. Why is nothing addressing the problem of a 14 year old being pregnant and giving birth on her own to triplets? Where are the girls parents? If they aren't in the picture, why isn't this girl in foster care herself? This child needs support herself and I hope she found it but I feel like her being tired taking care of triplets is the least of the issues surrounding the situation. yeah - where are her parents? sounds like neither were in the picture, let alone another responsible adult who was parenting her. But it does say she's been able to finish high school and has been accepted to two colleges since moving in with the nurse. That will change her life, and the lives of her babies. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 I hope all the best interpretations are true here, for Shariya, her adoptive mom, and all the children. At the same time, yes, we should have better support available. Shariya and her babies should have been right at the center of someone’s attention from the birth onwards. We’ve said it many times here: lots of our systems are travesties. At this point it’s not a surprise, so I hope the nurse is as lovely a person as this article suggests, and that she has love, energy, and attention enough for all these kids, her birth kids included. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Faith-manor said: I would not refer to the USA as a developed nation. We have the glitz and tech to put glitter on a buffalo plop and make it look like a work of art. While the 14 year old having triplets is not common, turning people out to highly unsafe environments with no support is totally the norm here. The system appears to only care about humans as embryos and fetuses, but now so much once they can breathe independently. Society is AWOL. The system is only as good as the people. Our current society (as even seen in some comments on this very thread) are so quick to blame, so quick to tie someone to a stake and assume the worst of them. I fear for our future. Teachers are quitting by the droves and parents, kids, and school leadership are driving them away. Medical staff are leaving in great numbers. You’re crucified for caring, you’re nitpicked, you’re physically assaulted at times, and at some point even the caring and compassionate among us throw in the towel. Hardly no one wants to be a police officer anymore for obvious reasons. These crucial positions are going to be more and more vacant and who will we have to blame??? Everyone is so dang offended at everything and everyone that they pick others apart. It is a societal problem. Someone can do 100 things right and never get a thanks but commit one small offense and be completely crucified. And police officers are hated even if they personally do what is right, they are still hated because of things fellow officers did. It is a problem. People like this nurse have always stepped up and filled in the gaps because the system can’t handle it all, check it all, or control it all. But ladies like this will stop (and are stopping) because they are being questioned and nitpicked for helping. Edited March 23, 2023 by Ann.without.an.e 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 One of the more common foster situations are teenagers, many of whom got thrown out for getting pregnant or being gay. The nurse didn’t cross any ethical boundaries, but there are plenty of problems with paternalistic laws that blame teens for getting into this position and provide no support when they do. 12 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 I'm glad that nurse stepped up, but the story made me sad and I wasn't thinking it was a sweet or lovely story. A 14yo having premie triplets? That's a tragedy and the nurse stepping in only makes it somewhat less of one. I feel desperately sorry for all involved. 11 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted March 23, 2023 Author Share Posted March 23, 2023 4 minutes ago, livetoread said: I'm glad that nurse stepped up, but the story made me sad and I wasn't thinking it was a sweet or lovely story. A 14yo having premie triplets? That's a tragedy and the nurse stepping in only makes it somewhat less of one. I feel desperately sorry for all involved. It was very mixed emotions for me. Sad for the girl to be in that situation and so alone. Also glad that it seems to have worked out a lot better than it could have. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam in CT Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 re missing pieces in a very weird story 7 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said: I can see being a little worried about this being some weird situation with the nurse, but since there was already CPS involvement, I would hope that things were checked out thoroughly. Honestly, I'm more disturbed by the tone of the article acting like it was completely normal for a 14 year old to give birth to triplets. It makes it seem like the big problems with the situation are the lack of sleep. Why is nothing addressing the problem of a 14 year old being pregnant and giving birth on her own to triplets? Where are the girls parents? If they aren't in the picture, why isn't this girl in foster care herself? This child needs support herself and I hope she found it but I feel like her being tired taking care of triplets is the least of the issues surrounding the situation. This. Who fathered these three babies on a 13 or just-14 year old girl? Who are the (pre-adoption) parents of this 14 year old girl? Why was CPS not involved when a 14 year old girl showed up at school pregnant and/or presented at the hospital to give birth? Who ferried the 14 year old back and forth to the hospital regularly **for months** while the babies were in NICU when she was two years too young to drive? After all those months and all those red flags / weird, CPS found some reason at the girl's (pre-adoption) parents' house, when one of the triplets needed subsequent hospital care, that finally raised a red flag that something was amiss? One wonders... what. Because out of this whole story that particular moment in the story doesn't make the top ten of weird moments. So if it's SO WEIRD that after ~12 months of pregnant 13-14 yo / delivering 14 yo / 14 yo hovering in the NICO without any concern by CPS for either the 14 yo or the triplets.. .. one would think that detail would be newsworthy, in an overall rosy puff piece. Which is not to say I am not very glad if the 14 yo and the triplets have in fact found a safe landing. But that puff piece reads... as having significant omissions; of sufficient importance that I'm not fully able to embrace the good cheer. 12 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 9 minutes ago, Pam in CT said: re missing pieces in a very weird story This. Who fathered these three babies on a 13 or just-14 year old girl? Who are the (pre-adoption) parents of this 14 year old girl? Why was CPS not involved when a 14 year old girl showed up at school pregnant and/or presented at the hospital to give birth? Who ferried the 14 year old back and forth to the hospital regularly **for months** while the babies were in NICU when she was two years too young to drive? After all those months and all those red flags / weird, CPS found some reason at the girl's (pre-adoption) parents' house, when one of the triplets needed subsequent hospital care, that finally raised a red flag that something was amiss? One wonders... what. Because out of this whole story that particular moment in the story doesn't make the top ten of weird moments. So if it's SO WEIRD that after ~12 months of pregnant 13-14 yo / delivering 14 yo / 14 yo hovering in the NICO without any concern by CPS for either the 14 yo or the triplets.. .. one would think that detail would be newsworthy, in an overall rosy puff piece. Which is not to say I am not very glad if the 14 yo and the triplets have in fact found a safe landing. But that puff piece reads... as having significant omissions; of sufficient importance that I'm not fully able to embrace the good cheer. That's an assumption. we don't even know if she was living with a biological parent or relative. so many unknowns. at least she and her babies had a good landing, that has the potential to make a significant improvement in their lives going forward. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 2 hours ago, catz said: It is nice if it's all on the up and up. Young people like this are likely very vulnerable to abuse. It's a bit crazy to me that a 14 year old was sent home with triplet preemies without a boat load of services and supports in place. But that is our system for you. Both are true, most definitely. I agree that teens are terribly abused--they're vulnerable in an abusive home, and they're mincemeat within the foster care system. It's brutal. I agree--a 14-year-old with preemies should have had a system set up, but I'm not surprised in the least that that did not happen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 31 minutes ago, Pam in CT said: But that puff piece reads... as having significant omissions; of sufficient importance that I'm not fully able to embrace the good cheer. Agreed. It is screaming out for a good deep dive by an investigative reporter from NYT or WP or Propublica. The story deserves to be told more completely with an eye towards all the ramifications left out in this one. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 I knew several pregnant 14 year olds when I was 14. I can’t imagine why CPS should’ve been called—teens get pregnant all the time via consensual sex. DH had a coworker whose teen boys both fathered babies by age 14. All of the girls I knew finished high school (one moved to another district and had more children by graduation). At least one is married to the boyfriend she was with when she got pregnant (seems to be very happy—she had a definite choice in that). I do think it’s tragic that we don’t recognize that teen parents need additional support. All moms should get some nursing support after going home, teen moms doubly so. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, catz said: It is nice if it's all on the up and up. Young people like this are likely very vulnerable to abuse. It's a bit crazy to me that a 14 year old was sent home with triplet preemies without a boat load of services and supports in place. But that is our system for you. We actually don’t know what services & supports may or may not have been in place. Also, not everyone who has services available uses them. Edited March 23, 2023 by TechWife 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 40 minutes ago, Pam in CT said: re missing pieces in a very weird story This. Who fathered these three babies on a 13 or just-14 year old girl? Who are the (pre-adoption) parents of this 14 year old girl? Why was CPS not involved when a 14 year old girl showed up at school pregnant and/or presented at the hospital to give birth? Who ferried the 14 year old back and forth to the hospital regularly **for months** while the babies were in NICU when she was two years too young to drive? After all those months and all those red flags / weird, CPS found some reason at the girl's (pre-adoption) parents' house, when one of the triplets needed subsequent hospital care, that finally raised a red flag that something was amiss? One wonders... what. Because out of this whole story that particular moment in the story doesn't make the top ten of weird moments. So if it's SO WEIRD that after ~12 months of pregnant 13-14 yo / delivering 14 yo / 14 yo hovering in the NICO without any concern by CPS for either the 14 yo or the triplets.. .. one would think that detail would be newsworthy, in an overall rosy puff piece. Which is not to say I am not very glad if the 14 yo and the triplets have in fact found a safe landing. But that puff piece reads... as having significant omissions; of sufficient importance that I'm not fully able to embrace the good cheer. My assumption is that she was already in foster care, because TPR just doesn't happen that fast in my experience. My biggest concern is with the fact that the adoptive mother adopted the triplets too. It sounds like mom left the hospital wanting to parent the babies, and her age and experience made that really hard. Putting her in foster care, and them in foster care in the same home, and perhaps moving to adoption for her (the mom) makes sense to me, but I don't understand how her rights to the triplets were terminated. I mean, it's possible that she made that choice, but it's also hard for me to imagine that she didn't feel coercion to accept it if it was presented as an option. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 4 minutes ago, kbutton said: I knew several pregnant 14 year olds when I was 14. I can’t imagine why CPS should’ve been called—teens get pregnant all the time via consensual sex. DH had a coworker whose teen boys both fathered babies by age 14. All of the girls I knew finished high school (one moved to another district and had more children by graduation). At least one is married to the boyfriend she was with when she got pregnant (seems to be very happy—she had a definite choice in that). I do think it’s tragic that we don’t recognize that teen parents need additional support. All moms should get some nursing support after going home, teen moms doubly so. We don’t know anything about what was or wasn’t in place, support wise. We also don’t know why it was decided the babies weren’t safe. It’s none of our business, either. A multiple birth is a difficult situation for anyone. Consensual or not, it’s the overall family situation that is troubling, not just her age. That’s only one piece of the puzzle. One of the problems I have with this publicity is that we know about it at all. I can’t imagine a 15 yo who can begin to process what it may mean for her and her children to have all of this info public to complete strangers in years to come. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) 14 minutes ago, kbutton said: I knew several pregnant 14 year olds when I was 14. I can’t imagine why CPS should’ve been called—teens get pregnant all the time via consensual sex. DH had a coworker whose teen boys both fathered babies by age 14. All of the girls I knew finished high school (one moved to another district and had more children by graduation). At least one is married to the boyfriend she was with when she got pregnant (seems to be very happy—she had a definite choice in that). I do think it’s tragic that we don’t recognize that teen parents need additional support. All moms should get some nursing support after going home, teen moms doubly so. A pregnant teen might not need CPS, but she definitely would need a social worker involved on her behalf to help orient her to the programs and services she and her newborn(s) will be needing. Social services programs for pregnant and parenting teenagers don't exist only for teens who are being abused and need to to be removed from home -- they are supposed to provide for the welfare needs of someone in a deeply precarious situation that's only going to get more complex in the future. Edited March 23, 2023 by bolt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 hour ago, Ann.without.an.e said: The system is only as good as the people. Our current society (as even seen in some comments on this very thread) are so quick to blame, so quick to tie someone to a stake and assume the worst of them. I fear for our future. Teachers are quitting by the droves and parents, kids, and school leadership are driving them away. Medical staff are leaving in great numbers. You’re crucified for caring, you’re nitpicked, you’re physically assaulted at times, and at some point even the caring and compassionate among us throw in the towel. Hardly no one wants to be a police officer anymore for obvious reasons. These crucial positions are going to be more and more vacant and who will we have to blame??? Everyone is so dang offended at everything and everyone that they pick others apart. It is a societal problem. Someone can do 100 things right and never get a thanks but commit one small offense and be completely crucified. And police officers are hated even if they personally do what is right, they are still hated because of things fellow officers did. It is a problem. People like this nurse have always stepped up and filled in the gaps because the system can’t handle it all, check it all, or control it all. But ladies like this will stop (and are stopping) because they are being questioned and nitpicked for helping. I was not referring to any individual person nor this nurse. I was responding about our system which is specifically designed, by means of politics (so I cannot say more), to be total crap. No single social worker, medical worker, etc. has any responsibility for that. But they also cannot do a darn thing about it. Not unlike when HMO's controlled healthcare to the extent in my state that women could be turfed home from the hospital 12 hour post birth even after major complications. No one was angry with the doctors or nurses. It was the system. They also could not change that either. My state had to pass legislation to force insurance to pay for 24 hours. Note that they did not change the system to say, "Screw the damn insurance companies, doctors and doctors only will decide when mothers and babies are ready to leave the hospital". No. This country is not a developed nation regardless of the capitalist metrics used to determine this. It is a hell hole by design to keep the wealthy getting immeasurably wealthier. I don't have any problem with the nurses, and frankly, any social worker with 50 families on case load is not going to do anything if the 14 year old seems to be somehow managing. Not because they do not care, but because there isn't enough time in a day, a week, or a year to worry about the people who are somehow holding it together in some crappy situation because the system is designed to prevent them from being a success at their job. Not their fault at all. But I will never back down about the system. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 minute ago, bolt. said: A pregnant teen might not need CPS, but she definitely would need a social worker involved on her behalf to help orient her to the programs and services she and her newborn(s) will be needing. Social services programs for pregnant and parenting teenagers don't exist only for teens who are being abused and need to to be removed from home -- they are supposed to provide for the welfare needs of someone in a deeply precarious situation. Social work help, sure. Someone said CPS specifically. It can be difficult to qualify for help if you are not living alone. I’ve known teen moms in families of very modest means that couldn’t get much assistance at all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 Just now, bolt. said: A pregnant teen might not need CPS, but she definitely would need a social worker involved on her behalf to help orient her to the programs and services she and her newborn(s) will be needing. Social services programs for pregnant and parenting teenagers don't exist only for teens who are being abused and need to to be removed from home -- they are supposed to provide for the welfare needs of someone in a deeply precarious situation. I my state, minors are not emancipated just because they become parents or get married. So here, she would not even be able to sign up her children for medicaid. There would have to be a legal guardian of her or social worker or a representative of family court do it. I know a girl who married at 17, and when her husband got conked on the head at work and was unconscious, the hospital wouldn't even give her information or let her make decisions. She was a minor, and marriage is not legal emancipation. They called his parents as next of kin. My ex sister in law was not allowed to sign for emergency care of my infant nephew because she was 16. My brother was 18 so they called him at work. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 3 minutes ago, bolt. said: A pregnant teen might not need CPS, but she definitely would need a social worker involved on her behalf to help orient her to the programs and services she and her newborn(s) will be needing. Social services programs for pregnant and parenting teenagers don't exist only for teens who are being abused and need to to be removed from home -- they are supposed to provide for the welfare needs of someone in a deeply precarious situation that's only going to get more complex in the future. The availability of services varies widely between states and their counties. There may be few supports available. SNAP, WIC & Medicaid are comparatively straightforward when compared to housing & transportation resources. Waitlists for “affordable housing” are sometimes years long in many locations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 48 minutes ago, livetoread said: Agreed. It is screaming out for a good deep dive by an investigative reporter from NYT or WP or Propublica. The story deserves to be told more completely with an eye towards all the ramifications left out in this one. I'd like to know how it is affecting the nurse's other children. She still has a seven year old at home. 39 minutes ago, BandH said: My assumption is that she was already in foster care, because TPR just doesn't happen that fast in my experience. My biggest concern is with the fact that the adoptive mother adopted the triplets too. It sounds like mom left the hospital wanting to parent the babies, and her age and experience made that really hard. Putting her in foster care, and them in foster care in the same home, and perhaps moving to adoption for her (the mom) makes sense to me, but I don't understand how her rights to the triplets were terminated. I mean, it's possible that she made that choice, but it's also hard for me to imagine that she didn't feel coercion to accept it if it was presented as an option. It's very hard to place multiple children in the same foster home. Most foster care homes simply don't have space - not even group homes. (which would have its own risks) If the nurse didn't adopt the triplets as well - they would still be subject to being placed in foster care away from the 14yo mother. 30 minutes ago, TechWife said: We don’t know anything about what was or wasn’t in place, support wise. We also don’t know why it was decided the babies weren’t safe. It’s none of our business, either. A multiple birth is a difficult situation for anyone. Consensual or not, it’s the overall family situation that is troubling, not just her age. That’s only one piece of the puzzle. One of the problems I have with this publicity is that we know about it at all. I can’t imagine a 15 yo who can begin to process what it may mean for her and her children to have all of this info public to complete strangers in years to come. I think it was just one of the babies that had to be readmitted for medical reasons - and that triggered a CPS investigation for all the babies. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) There is no way a social worker here would be involved in all teen pregnancies. The county I live in has 46.4/1000 births to teen mothers a year. There’s not enough social workers or services for that. My cousin gave birth at 16 or 17, I can’t remember. Other than the school sending out a tutor once she was no longer comfortable attending school, she didn’t get any services or assistance. I think the baby was on Medicaid for a while since cousin didn’t have a job and was on her own parents’ insurance, but that was all. There were even issues with getting WIC because they took into account her parents’ income as she lived with them. There really aren’t as many services out there as people think, and the ones that exist are often difficult to get. Edited March 23, 2023 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 6 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 minute ago, gardenmom5 said: I'd like to know how it is affecting the nurse's other children. She still has a seven year old at home. It's very hard to place multiple children in the same foster home. Most foster care homes simply don't have space - not even group homes. (which would have its own risks) If the nurse didn't adopt the triplets as well - they would still be subject to being placed in foster care away from the 14yo mother. In most states, the nurse would have had to be approved to foster 4, in order to be approved to adopt 4. She could have adopted the mom, and kept the triplets as foster children with the goal of returning custody to mom at some point in the future. 1 minute ago, gardenmom5 said: I think it was just one of the babies that had to be readmitted for medical reasons - and that triggered a CPS investigation for all the babies. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 49 minutes ago, kbutton said: I knew several pregnant 14 year olds when I was 14. I can’t imagine why CPS should’ve been called—teens get pregnant all the time via consensual sex. DH had a coworker whose teen boys both fathered babies by age 14. All of the girls I knew finished high school (one moved to another district and had more children by graduation). At least one is married to the boyfriend she was with when she got pregnant (seems to be very happy—she had a definite choice in that). I do think it’s tragic that we don’t recognize that teen parents need additional support. All moms should get some nursing support after going home, teen moms doubly so. I don't think 14 year olds having babies is something we should just look at as another choice that is equally desirable/viable as having babies as an adult. 8 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 8 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: … I think it was just one of the babies that had to be readmitted for medical reasons - and that triggered a CPS investigation for all the babies. Some medical reasons for admission are caused by the adults in the child’s life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 6 minutes ago, TechWife said: Some medical reasons for admission are caused by the adults in the child’s life. And in this case, they might have also been caused by the lack of adults in a child's life. We have a situation on this board, with twins instead of triplets, who are far less preemie than these, where helping the babies gain weight has needed a team of 3 capable adults. It's easy to imagine a loving, committed 14 year old without a strong support team having trouble getting enough formula or breastmilk into her 3 fragile babies, and ending up with a baby being readmitted for dehydration and/or weight loss. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 16 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: There is no way a social worker here would be involved in all teen pregnancies. The county I live in has 46.4/1000 births to teen mothers a year. There’s not enough social workers or services for that. My cousin gave birth at 16 or 17, I can’t remember. Other than the school sending out a tutor once she was no longer comfortable attending school, she didn’t get any services or assistance. I think the baby was on Medicaid for a while since cousin didn’t have a job and was on her own parents’ insurance, but that was all. There were even issues with getting WIC because they took into account her parents’ income as she lived with them. There really aren’t as many services out there as people think, and the ones that exist are often difficult to get. A 14 year old with triplets isn’t just any family, though. There is an extremely poor safety net in place for everyone, including children. There’s really no thought to what a person needs to flourish. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 hour ago, BandH said: My biggest concern is with the fact that the adoptive mother adopted the triplets too. It sounds like mom left the hospital wanting to parent the babies, and her age and experience made that really hard. Putting her in foster care, and them in foster care in the same home, and perhaps moving to adoption for her (the mom) makes sense to me, but I don't understand how her rights to the triplets were terminated. I mean, it's possible that she made that choice, but it's also hard for me to imagine that she didn't feel coercion to accept it if it was presented as an option. The nurse only adopted the teen mother, not the babies. She describes herself as mother of 6 and "Lala" (grandmother) to preemie triplets. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 2 minutes ago, Corraleno said: The nurse only adopted the teen mother, not the babies. She describes herself as mother of 6 and "Lala" (grandmother) to preemie triplets. The article says she adopted the mom and the babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 minute ago, Corraleno said: The nurse only adopted the teen mother, not the babies. She describes herself as mother of 6 and "Lala" (grandmother) to preemie triplets. This is a direct cut and paste from the article: "So, she agreed to adopt not just Small, now 15, but all three of her children as well even though she still had two high schoolers and a seven-year-old at home." It is not uncommon for grandparents who adopt to continue to refer to themselves by grandparent names, and to think of themselves as grandparents, even when they legally have parental rights. Certainly my kid, who had previously been adopted by a grandparent, continued to call her Grandma and her son "Uncle". Having said that, it's possible that the journalist didn't have a clue about correct terminology. I hope that's what happened. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 hour ago, BandH said: My assumption is that she was already in foster care, because TPR just doesn't happen that fast in my experience. My biggest concern is with the fact that the adoptive mother adopted the triplets too. It sounds like mom left the hospital wanting to parent the babies, and her age and experience made that really hard. Putting her in foster care, and them in foster care in the same home, and perhaps moving to adoption for her (the mom) makes sense to me, but I don't understand how her rights to the triplets were terminated. I mean, it's possible that she made that choice, but it's also hard for me to imagine that she didn't feel coercion to accept it if it was presented as an option. I agree that she may have already had parental rights terminated, but it’s also possible her frustrated mom gave up & signed rights over. Just now, TechWife said: The article says she adopted the mom and the babies. I think this is unlikely. She has constitutional rights to parent. I bet the article got this wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 1 minute ago, Katy said: I agree that she may have already had parental rights terminated, but it’s also possible her frustrated mom gave up & signed rights over. I think this is unlikely. She has constitutional rights to parent. I bet the article got this wrong. I doubt the article got it wrong. This is one of the many, many boundary problems I have with this situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 Another article + pictures of the now 2 1/2 year olds… maybe TPR did happen. https://www.indystar.com/picture-gallery/news/2023/03/07/indianapolis-nurse-katrina-mullen-cared-for-preemie-triplets-adopts-teen-mother-shariya-small/11367265002/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 21 minutes ago, TechWife said: Some medical reasons for admission are caused by the adults in the child’s life. sometimes yes, and sometimes no. we don't know why ONE was readmiltted but not the others. even with responsible and competent adults - a preterm infant can end up needing to be readmitted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 23, 2023 Share Posted March 23, 2023 (edited) 2 minutes ago, TechWife said: I doubt the article got it wrong. This is one of the many, many boundary problems I have with this situation. I’m guessing she got it wrong because I’ve cared for babies of teen parents, and in a few cases the teen was in foster care but the baby wasn’t. Edited March 23, 2023 by Katy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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