PT for being too tight "down there" ;) Ladies only please

[Ann.without.an.e]

Anyone done this? Experiences, good and bad are appreciated :) 

Edited November 10, 2021 by Ann.without.an.e

[WildflowerMom]

I bought vagin*l dilators on Amazon.  You progress up to the largest size slowly.   We have a ‘size’ issue in this house and I was desperate.  🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ann.without.an.e]

1 minute ago, WildflowerMom said:

I bought vagin*l dilators on Amazon.  You progress up to the largest size slowly.   We have a ‘size’ issue in this house and I was desperate.  🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you for that idea. Was it painful?  How long do you think it would take?  Like if she wants to make sure she goes into marriage and doesn't have pain, how many months would she needs?  How often did you use them? You can PM me if you need to.

Edited September 29, 2021 by Ann.without.an.e

[WildflowerMom]

1 minute ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Thank you for that idea. Was it painful?  How long do you think it would take?  Like if she wants to make sure she goes into marriage and doesn't have pain, how many months would she needs?  How often did you use them? You can PM me if you need to.

Yes, it hurt, but it’s not excruciating or anything. It takes time, but I’d say you can feel a good difference within a month or two?   You don’t have to progress up to the largest size to start feeling a difference.  Slower is better.   I still use mine some.    Get lubrication to use with it.  

[Carol in Cal.]

Is she angling them right?  You don’t push straight up, but diagonally, and if she is doing it wrong it will hurt and not work.

[ktgrok]

The tampon thing could also be a lubrication issue - if she isn't having heavy flow, or isn't using a plastic applicator that can make it worse. My mom had to use lube to use tampons back in the cardboard days. I don't, but I can only use plastic applicator - the ones with no applicator won't go in. 

Has she spoken to a gynecologist about this? Maybe an appointment with a reccomended female one, or a nurse practitioner int aht field would help? Good ones will do the first appointment fully clothed at first. 

[Ailaena]

Have you seen a gyno?  Maybe there’s actually something in the way, like a ??  I have no idea, but I would hesitate to try anything without making sure this is a straightforward issue.

[Amy in NH]

I went to a pelvic floor physical therapist last winter for a different problem.  She was a pelvic specialist, very calm and gentle. 

I 100% recommend going to see one in person.

[Terabith]

Oh, man, I relate to this.  I could not wear a tampon until after I had children.  Even after birthing two kids, I had to use the teen sized diva cups.  Sex was extraordinarily painful.  It's a real problem.  I would definitely talk to a gynecologist, but be prepared that most of them don't know how to deal with the issue.  I would actually call around and see if any specialize in this and can recommend something to do for it.  

I actually might should do this for my children, since neither one of them can wear tampons either, but neither are interested in sex any time soon either.  

[Mrs Tiggywinkle]

 

start with a full gyno exam to make sure everything is physiologically correct.  If it is, then move into dilators with the gynocologist’s guidance.  One of my best friends had this issue but didn’t realize it until after marriage.  It honestly caused some serious difficulties, nearly wrecking their marriage the first year, and would have been much better to know before hand. Also, anxiety about sex can cause vaginismus, and frankly it would just be better to get this taken care of now.

Edited September 29, 2021 by Mrs Tiggywinkle

[Farrar]

Alongside all this, I'd emphasize that s*x does not have to be penetrative PIV s*x for both parties to enjoy it or for it to be "real sex." While she may want to participate in that particular act - and more power to her for being proactive about thinking about it - she should definitely not go into any relationship thinking that's the only option or that s*x has failed. She may not be thinking that, but just an added thing to consider.

[Elizabeth86]

I had trouble with tampons before sex. The first few times I had sex, it hurt minimally and then all was fine. Still have trouble with tampons after. Even after 3 vaginal births, tampons don’t feel comfortable for me either. 2 separate times a dr In training has performed a Pap smear at my annual exam and both couldn’t successfully do it. My dr said, wow your cervix is very tricky to navigate. I don’t really know what that means, but…lol. All those things, sex still doesn’t hurt. So, there’s that.

Edited September 30, 2021 by Elizabeth86

[alisoncooks]

Definitely search around for an understanding doctor. I had my first gyno visit at 19 (not active at that time) and it was, quite honestly, traumatic. 

[MEmama]

The show Sex Education actually deals with this issue. She might appreciate being able to relate to another teen handling the situation. The show is truly excellent.

[KungFuPanda]

This isn't something I'd self-diagnose or self-prescribe treatment.  I'd make sure everything is physically and mentally in order before putting any amazon purchases in the cart.  She could be well within the range of normal physically but so stressed and anxious that she's still going to have real problems or there could be a real physical issue that needs to be addressed.

 

[Clarita]

TMI and please don't quote.

I had this issue too. For the tampon insertion issue, I started with lite tampons with plastic inserters (going in at an angle is the key). Then I moved up from that to regular tampon. I tried heavy too later to see if I could stretch it out more but I don't have heavy flow so it's a bit uncomfortable to pull out. In terms of the making babies part of it. I made an appointment with my OB about the issue and discovered I was pregnant. So, you can get pregnant without much of the whole thing up there. After having my first the problem was solved (be sure to request in the hospital forms that you do not want to be stitched up tight, apparently sometimes in fixing a tear after birth doctors will stitch you up tighter than before). 

[Paige]

She may also have a tilted uterus which can make tampon insertion difficult.

[goldberry]

Just commiserating.  After 35 years of marriage and a vaginal childbirth, if I go more than a week or so without sex, I am guaranteed pain the next time.  This is with plenty of lubricant, foreplay, and satisfaction!  If I can manage it, I will sometimes have a "practice round" on my own just to keep that from happening.  I have also some scar tissue towards the bottom of my opening that will tear and bleed. 😔  Doctors were of almost no help and a couple were downright offensive, suggesting either that I was "frigid" or that my husband was basically raping me.  Um no.

 

[Clarita]

11 hours ago, goldberry said:

Doctors were of almost no help and a couple were downright offensive, suggesting either that I was "frigid" or that my husband was basically raping me.  Um no.

What terrible things to say. 

[popmom]

13 hours ago, goldberry said:

Just commiserating.  After 35 years of marriage and a vaginal childbirth, if I go more than a week or so without sex, I am guaranteed pain the next time.  This is with plenty of lubricant, foreplay, and satisfaction!  If I can manage it, I will sometimes have a "practice round" on my own just to keep that from happening.  I have also some scar tissue towards the bottom of my opening that will tear and bleed. 😔  Doctors were of almost no help and a couple were downright offensive, suggesting either that I was "frigid" or that my husband was basically raping me.  Um no.

 

I have always thought I was the only one! I’m so glad you shared. Actually, it has never mattered the frequency. It always hurt regardless. And like you, I would bleed a little. I also had horrible experiences with every doctor I asked about it. They could see the scarring and the “abrasions” (if it was a few days out), but no help at all. I got some crazy suggestions. One dr told me I still had part of my hymen and he could do surgery. So I got a second opinion. That doctor said, “no you don’t have any hymen, but if you decide to have the surgery, you’re in good hands.” What the heck???? 
 

Interestingly, I had no problems while pregnant. Then in my 40s, it got much better. I think it’s a blood flow issue for me. Pregnancy definitely increases blood flow to that area. I don’t know why my 40s were better. 
 

I should clarify that in my 20s and 30s, the pain could be pretty intense but would go away fairly quickly during the act, so then it was pleasurable. Until afterwards. I’d be quite tender for a few days. I could never have intercourse more than once a week, because I had to give it time to heal up.
 

Now I’m 51 and post menopausal. Intercourse is absolutely unbearable now. Dh has been very understanding. I have more pressing things to deal with rn, but eventually I’ll deal with it. 

Edited October 1, 2021 by popmom

[ktgrok]

6 hours ago, popmom said:

I have always thought I was the only one! I’m so glad you shared. Actually, it has never mattered the frequency. It always hurt regardless. And like you, I would bleed a little. I also had horrible experiences with every doctor I asked about it. They could see the scarring and the “abrasions” (if it was a few days out), but no help at all. I got some crazy suggestions. One dr told me I still had part of my hymen and he could do surgery. So I got a second opinion. That doctor said, “no you don’t have any hymen, but if you decide to have the surgery, you’re in good hands.” What the heck???? 
 

Interestingly, I had no problems while pregnant. Then in my 40s, it got much better. I think it’s a blood flow issue for me. Pregnancy definitely increases blood flow to that area. I don’t know why my 40s were better. 
 

I should clarify that in my 20s and 30s, the pain could be pretty intense but would go away fairly quickly during the act, so then it was pleasurable. Until afterwards. I’d be quite tender for a few days. I could never have intercourse more than once a week, because I had to give it time to heal up.
 

Now I’m 51 and post menopausal. Intercourse is absolutely unbearable now. Dh has been very understanding. I have more pressing things to deal with rn, but eventually I’ll deal with it. 

Ouch! I'm so sorry!

[goldberry]

9 hours ago, popmom said:

Interestingly, I had no problems while pregnant. Then in my 40s, it got much better. I think it’s a blood flow issue for me. Pregnancy definitely increases blood flow to that area. I don’t know why my 40s were better. 

So sorry to hear that.  I do think blood flow has something to do with it, because having an orgasm BEFORE makes a huge difference, no matter how much foreplay, lubricant, or arousal. Of course since menopause, that gets a little derailed now and then (bodies can be so confounding!) but DH is very dedicated! 😉 With orgasm right before, it still hurts at first but like you were describing it's minimal and then still pleasurable.  It's so frustrating because it has absolutely nothing to do with my arousal or desire.  In fact, it interferes with it, keeping me from doing things I want to do.  I'm all hot-vixen, and then, wait, stop, slowly, now to the left, okay hold it right there... 🤣  Thank God I have a loving and understanding mate! 

[alisoncooks]

16 minutes ago, goldberry said:

Thank God I have a loving and understanding mate! 

And I think this is key. Obviously, this is an issue many women have. I didn’t realize that and felt like I was a failure. Just being open about it and having a partner willing to explore what works for both parties — that goes a long way!

[jrichstad]

I had a similar problem for many years. In my case I had a thick/ resistant hymen and couldn't wear tampons at all until after I had sex--or rather, I could get them in sometimes, but I couldn't get them out. TMI! Sex was also very painful. I went to see a couple doctors, but they didn't have much to offer--their advice was 'use lube' and 'relax'. 

Over time it went away. I think in my case I may have had a mild latex allergy that made condoms painful, even with lube, so being married (and ditching the condoms) helped.  

This isn't very helpful for your DD in terms of actionable steps, but I wanted to share because I think pain during sex is more common than we realize. 

[Scarlett]

Ladies I have to say I had no idea this is a thing!  So sorry, it sounds miserable.  😞