@Shoeless I didn't mean to sound dismissive -- I'm sorry. I absolutely know that unschooling works for some children and families. In my everyday life, I have not seen families whose experience I would want to take as a model, and my imagination is just not robust enough to see how it works other than as an exception, with particular parents and particular students. I'm afraid I would NOT be that particular parent and would end up ruining it by continuing to secretly push my own agenda out of fear/ anxiety.

@Ellie @Shoeless I have read some John Holt but haven't gotten all the way through any of his books--it's hard for me to square his views with what cognitive scientists tell us about direct instruction, spaced repetition, knowledge-rich curriculum, etc. And I think it would be very hard for me to trust the process. I truly believe that my child might well never choose to learn about history. It might help if I knew any professed unschoolers whose children actually seemed to be educated, but the ones I know mostly play video games and count "folding laundry" as science.

For sure. He's moderately interested in trying baseball this year--we'll see. You know how standard toddler advice is to give them a choice, like "Do you want the red cup or the blue cup"? It never worked on DS8. He didn't want ANY cup, or he wanted to drink out of a bowl like a dog, or he wanted to throw a tantrum instead of deciding. I've been trying to talk to him about what he wants to learn, and it's the same thing: "Do you want to study really old history or newer history?" "I don't want to learn any history." "Do you want to read Magic Treehouse or Eerie Elementary?" "I don't want to read either of them." "Do you want to work on fractions or long division today?" "I don't want to do math." You know. As I write this, I know that it sounds like I 100% should not homeschool him ... but last year, a five-minute homework assignment would turn into a three-hour ordeal, which means that all our time together was spent fighting about work anyway. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tell me more about this 7yo stage of But I Don't Want to Do Work. My daughter never had that--when did yours grow out of it? How did you handle it? I worry about 1) ending up just frustrated and mad at each other every day, or 2) just giving up on having him do the difficult tasks. I would love some input on maintaining expectations through this stage (?). I feel hesitant to share his private info on a public forum, although I can PM you if there's a particular reason you think the score would be helpful to know. I think DS8 gets this from his dad, too--my husband's more of a ruminator/ slow thinker, whereas I tend to blurt out the first thing that comes into my head <eyeroll> How did you balance interest-led homeschooling with a well-rounded education? Or is that the wrong question? I'm pretty sure I would find unschooling too stressful lol.

Okay, I got the neurocognitive report a couple of days ago--DS has now officially turned 8--and have been processing it. When I look at the profile, it seems to be profoundly unsuited to public school: As I think I said, his IQ tests as highly (99th percentile) but not profoundly gifted. (This test was done through our school district two years ago.) At the time, his overall score was pulled down by average/ low average processing speed and working memory. The private psychologist we saw last month administered sections of the Woodcock-Johnson. His scores on the processing speed portions were generally average; his high scores (from 85th to 99th percentile, depending on the subtest) were in planning, visual-auditory learning, verbal attention, short-term auditory memory, memory for words, phonological processing, and story recall. He actually seemed to do quite well on the working memory tasks; his number reversal score was in the 97th percentile. On the NEPSY, his scores in the inhibitions sections were mostly average; his Comprehension of Instructions score was in the 98th percentile. She partially assessed him for ADHD and DMDD and found that he didn't quite meet the criteria for either but also didn't not meet them. (I'm paraphrasing.) Finally, she diagnosed him with dysgraphia. My interpretation is that he has no trouble getting things into his head but has some trouble getting them out. I think that this probably contributes to his frustration and withdrawal (these are the symptoms that prompted the eval). If he gets overwhelmed at home or school, he shuts down. Sometimes I worry that I'm pushing him too much because I've seen his scores and think that he should be capable of work that he's not emotionally or developmentally ready for. He does get bored with grade-level work, but he also gets really frustrated (like, not productive struggle, just mad) with work that's too hard. I also can't help wondering if this is the type of child who really would do better with an interest-led/ unschooling approach.

Socializing is a worry, but I do also have concerns that it would affect our relationship. He's a little demand-avoidant & has no problem simply refusing to do something. He's much more compliant with other adults. (I *can* get him to comply, but I don't want every day to be a battle.) I know all the counterpoints to "but how do you socialize???" and like ... they sound fine when you say them, but my experience after several years of homeschooling my daughter is that it's a major concern for my particular children & in our particular area. I could sign him up for a billion camps and classes, but swim team (or scouts, or whatever) is not a substitute for the unstructured free time with their peers that they get in school. Maybe our school district is particularly generous with their free time, but it's been my experience that the kids have lots of time to mingle, and they're certainly not being forced to sit in silent rows all day. @Idalou I hear your implicit (gentle!) critique, and you're right: I do hate those park dates. I've never brought DS7 to them, so I can't say how the other boys around his age would be, but my daughter didn't have great experiences with them either. When she was at home, I did try *really* hard. I put together classes, we went on field trips, we did park dates, and it was just ... not great. The secular homeschoolers around here mostly don't educate their kids, and the religious ones basically want you to sign a statement of faith to come to a playdate. Thank you everyone who's taken the time to respond!

Yes, I'm actually waiting on the neuropsych report right now! Autism seems highly unlikely to me, but ADHD is a distinct possibility. I am hoping that it will provide some clarity & maybe some action items if we do elect to keep sending him to school. I have definitely considered telling the school that 1) we're going to do math at home, and 2) he's not going to be doing any homework & would prefer to have something official to work with.

Yes, there's a math/science charter school in our district that offers advancement to anyone who can test into it--kids go in the morning and then are bused back to their home schools for late morning/ afternoon classes. Kids usually start in 7th grade with Integrated 1, but you can go at any age. I know a profoundly gifted 9-year-old who's going this year! I can't see DS7 having the executive function/ emotional regulation to go before 6th grade at the earliest. So, there's really no danger of accelerating too much. Like I said, he's bright and mathy, but not so much that he'll grow out of what our district offers. (Whether it's provided in a format that's suitable for him is another matter.) He did do small-group math acceleration in his class this last year, and it was a disaster. The other two kids with him were not any better at understanding the material, but they were both much, much faster at calculation. He found it incredibly frustrating and spent a lot of the time refusing to do anything. Oh, another issue that may be just a pet peeve of mine is that I HATE the math curriculum our district uses--iReady. It's just awful! SO confusingly written and manages to be both too slow for the mathy kids and not provide enough direct instruction for the kids who need more support. It was making DS7 hate math. We're doing Khan Academy this summer and it's just about perfect for him--no frills, very little repetitive, and just enough explanation when he needs it.

I haven't been on here in a long time--my daughter went back to public school for jr high & is absolutely thriving, hooray--but I'm facing a tough decision for DS7 next year: taking him out of his current public school class for a year (or more), or leave him in? DS7 isn't 8 for another two weeks, so he's consistently been the youngest in his grade. Redshirting wasn't an option for us, since he's already academically advanced. He went to school for the first time in the middle of 1st grade, into a GATE class with a wonderful teacher. He had to switch schools for 2nd grade; he was in School #1 because our local GATE school--not our neighborhood school--doesn't have a 1st-grade GATE class, and he would absolutely not have done well in a gen ed class. 2nd grade was kind of a bust. He managed his behavior well and the teacher loved him, but as far as I can see he made no academic progress--his test scores actually dropped--and he didn't love the teacher, school, class, other kids, nothing. He's almost a full year younger than most of the boys--a lot of boys in our school district are redshirted, and the GATE class tends to have older kids in it anyway for what I assume are Freakonomics reasons, eg they seem more mature/ smarter and so get 'identified' more readily. The one friend he made is NOT a good influence on him. Our GATE program is really just a whole-grade acceleration; there's nothing particularly special about it other than the fact that they do a year ahead on the curriculum. Sometimes you luck out and get a teacher who steps it up, which was the case for his 1st grade teacher but not his 2nd. The current 3rd grade teacher has retired & we still haven't been told who the new 3rd grade teacher will be. Academically, he tests as highly but not profoundly gifted. His working memory and processing speed are slightly low compared to his other scores. He's about three years ahead in math and a very strong reader, but he hates, hates, hates writing and school busy work. Behaviorally, he's high-strung, intolerant of frustration, and hates being corrected. At school, he's pretty compliant; at home, he can be difficult to work with--that's basically why we sent him to school in the first place. (He's also funny, loving, curious, and scrupulously honest--I'm just focused on the school-related issues.) Here are my options: 1. Continue as we've begun; keep his spot in the 3rd grade GATE class. 2. Homeschool for a year and then enroll him in 4th grade in the brand-new neighborhood school; accelerate only in math. This will be an option for 4th grade but not for 3rd, because a) the school won't open until partway through the year, and b) per the principal, whom I spoke with, they have a harder time doing subject acceleration in 3rd grade because K-3 tend to have math at variable times, while the 4-6 classes all do math at the same time in order to facilitate differentiation. (Of course, we could also continue homeschooling indefinitey if it's working for everyone.) Pros of homeschooling: the obvious ones, plus he'd get to spend more time on the things he really loves, like coding/ robotics/ engineering. Also, we could spend more time on activities that the public school schedule tends to crowd out, like Spanish, music (cello lessons), and speech therapy. Cons: the local homeschoolers are mostly very religious and conservative, and we're not. They're also (in my experience) aggressively religious and conservative, so co-ops and park dates are not an good option for us. I could and would find plenty of classes and athletic activities, but there wouldn't be much option for unstructured socialization aside from the neighborhood friends he already has (these are mostly younger kids). Also, I do work from home, and although my schedule is flexible and fairly light during most months of the year, homeschooling adds another layer of stress. Pros of sticking with the public school GATE class: it's the easy option. Cons: Not a great fit either academically or socially. Academically: too much writing, not enough math. I would still be fighting with him to do his homework. He says that he gets so bored in class that he feels sick and that he "feels bad most of the time" at school. (I think this might be hyperbole on his part.) Socially: Based on my observations, he would continue not to fit in well at the GATE school and the neighborhood school. The social environment would be slightly better at the GATE school, where the kids are a little more diverse in all ways. Our neighborhood is lovely, but homogenous in all aspects & the school will be as well. Another mom who's deciding whether to send her child to the neighborhood school described his potential classmates as very "boys will be boys", which seems accurate. There's a strong sporty/ aggressive vibe in a lot of the families. Good for some, not our style. DS7 is active and athletic but definitely not sporty. Any thoughts or obvious aspects I've failed to consider? I've been changing my mind about this every three days.

11yo and 6yo got their shots Sunday with no problem, but yesterday (Tuesday) DS6 started running a fever. Seems late for side effects? Has anyone had or heard of a delayed reaction like that?

My 6yo just finished testing through our local school district and his scores are not a surprise to me--"very superior" in fluid reasoning and Verbal Comprehension but average in working memory and processing speed. He qualifies for our district's excellent Highly Gifted program (vs "regular" gifted <eyeroll>), which is why I had him tested; I suspected he would. My question, for those of you with kids who might have similar profiles, is whether the working memory/ processing speed deficits are going to make it too frustrating, or whether this is a common enough profile that I don't need to worry about it . My follow-up question is, I can see that he encounters enormous frustration when he meets the limits of his working memory/ processing speed and I'm wondering of there are ways to work on that.

DD has a friend with this name--her father is Dutch. She says it "AH-nuh-kuh".

I had a similar problem for many years. In my case I had a thick/ resistant hymen and couldn't wear tampons at all until after I had sex--or rather, I could get them in sometimes, but I couldn't get them out. TMI! Sex was also very painful. I went to see a couple doctors, but they didn't have much to offer--their advice was 'use lube' and 'relax'. Over time it went away. I think in my case I may have had a mild latex allergy that made condoms painful, even with lube, so being married (and ditching the condoms) helped. This isn't very helpful for your DD in terms of actionable steps, but I wanted to share because I think pain during sex is more common than we realize.

We just bought a Lovesac for our guest room/ TV room! I got it at the strong recommendation of a friend, who also loves it. With the addition of a mattress topper, it becomes a reasonably comfortable bed--at least as comfortable as a pull-out couch. The seating is a little shallow, but you can set it up to be deeper if you turn the seats the other way. I'm really happy with it, and I kind of wish it were our main couch ... except that I don't really love it aesthetically because it's blocky and a little blah. However, it's comfortable and SO versatile, and I think it'll hold up well to our destructive kids and pets. Plus, it would have been a lot easier during our move-every-two-years phase.

So I read all the comments about Classical Writing being nearly impossible to use and I bought it anyway, because .... I guess I just like spending money to fill up my abandoned curriculum closet 😄 Anyway, I have Homer and the Student Workbook A for my 6th grader and I've been reading through the book but I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around it. If you've used this, could you share what a week of working through the program looked like for you?

I do the same thing with Hungry Root--mostly use it as groceries. It does get repetitive, but we eat fairly repetitive meals anyway. If I'm really uninspired I'll make the meals. Some weeks I skip just because I don't want to deal with the box and the ice packs, but in general I like it.

Guest Hollow's Jr. Anatomy (or the lower level, depending on your child) might fit. I haven't used it myself, but it sounds like what you're looking for.

$4950 for about 18-24 months of work. Average cost-of-living area.

Blossom and Root has wonderful books, but what I've found is that it really takes a pretty decent science background on the parent's part to help pull it together in terms of making sure kids see the connections. If you have time, I highly recommend getting a copy of BFSU and reading it just for yourself. It gives you that background to answer questions and see the way the different disciplines fit together. It's been far more useful to me that way than as a curriculum to follow with my kids, although we do use it loosely. Have you thought about getting a good science encyclopedia (Usborne or Kingfisher, depending on age) and using that as a spine? I honestly don't think most elementary science curricula are going to touch on things like the Northern Lights (charged solar particles interacting w/ the atmosphere :))

I really, really love Lawless Spanish for grammar. It teaches small bits of grammar with frequent spaced-repetition quizzing. It's $20ish dollars a month, I think, and well worth it to me.

My boss flew to China recently for work. He had to take THREE COVID tests, subject to another one rather invasive one there, and then spend two weeks in actual, literal quarantine--they took him (and the other travelers) from the airport to a hotel, where he stayed, by himself, with food deliveries, for the next fourteen days. And then he had to spend another week "self-isolating" before he was allowed to conduct his business. So, while I'm sure the numbers are massaged a bit, they do have VERY strict protocols in place.

I'm so sorry to hear this. He's in my thoughts.

A $15/ hr warehouse job with a somewhat regular schedule (I mean, these jobs aren't great either, but relatively) seems like it'd be much more appealing than a minimum wage or less restaurant job with short, irregular hours and mean customers. I'm definitely not an expert in our local economy--I only know what I've been reading in our newspaper and local sites. I do know that our extra unemployment money is long gone and our county unemployment rate as of May 2021 is 2.7%. People are working. If service jobs aren't being filled, it's because they're not offering competitive pay or conditions.

I live in a conservative state that ended extra money quite a while ago, and we have tons and tons of unfilled service jobs. These are bad jobs and people have better options right now. I read one newspaper article about a restaurant that couldn't fill its positions. Poor hard-working restaurant owner, right? In the comments, someone said they'd applied for the job and the manager tried to schedule them for 1.5 hour shifts ... so they turned it down. I don't know how much the pay was going to be, but I'm sure it was at or near our very low minimum wage. Meanwhile, our housing prices have practically doubled in three years. I should add that our unemployment rate is at something like 3%, so people ARE working.

I took Latin in college AS my foreign language!

I haven't exactly run the the numbers or anything, but I would say proportionally no. If there are five problems, she'll get one wrong. If there are 10, she'll get two wrong.