Do you want online meetings etc., OR

[BlsdMama]

Do you just kind of want to be left to "good enough" right now?  I feel I don't have good perspective here. I have a LOT of irons in the fire regarding health concerns, finishing this semester's classes, having to stay at home, crazy non-normalcy, etc.  So, for our family, we really don't want "extra" replacement meetings - for example, things like Scouts or Trail Life?

But it was brought up to me that others do.  This would be a lot for me to finagle and I am up for it if there are many people who feel they need/want it, but it is really the straw for me right now, but I'm wondering am I the minority?  I just want to hibernate.  I don't want to deal with anything other than my house right now and the idea of tackling a different format to do these things I consider "extra" is difficult for me.  But, on the other hand, I suppose folks might want activities for their kids? 

You?

[JustEm]

I have zero interest with any sort of video meetings. I'm enjoying not having obligations.

[KungFuPanda]

Preach it. I did my moaning on this thread: 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

I don’t mind a monthly checkin of groups, but I am 💯 over trying to act like life is normal right now and having four different kids have four separate Zoom meetings at the same time. People are generally missing normalcy, not what can be accomplished over video.

[Innisfree]

Personally, I want to be left alone to do activities that make me happy: gardening, baking, some limited home projects. I don't want obligations outside the home, even virtual ones, because life itself is stressful enough right now. We do have online public school classes starting in about a week for my younger dd, which is not going to be easy.

I do wish I had things to help relieve stress for my girls, but they are both teens. Their concerns are realistic: will a freshman college year happen on campus? Will family members be safe? I don't think online activities would help. 

[medawyn]

I’ve opted out of everything except for chess for my 7yo.  I truly understand why people are putting forth the effort, but my guys are little and computer meetings (at weird times no less) really don’t work for us.  Chess class looks more or less the same in a classroom or on Zoom, so that’s the only one we’re sticking with.

[vonbon]

2 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

@KungFuPanda linked it above - no meetings!  I like it for church, on Sunday, that’s about it.

Leave me alone, I’ll talk to y’all when we can go out for dinner together in a month or three.  Otherwise just text me every once in awhile and I’ll do my thing here at home.  Happily.

Ditto!

Some computer work / socialization = ok...then we're ready to get outside, exercise, do meaningful physical work...in "real" life.

I'm hearing rumblings from different groups and teachers wanting to get things going online...and I'm not going to encourage any of it.  I'm not too keen on the kids learning physical things (ballet) well online 🤔😒, though I understand that some have a heart to make things as "normal" as possible for children...  I'm sure it comes from a good place?

...and I'm skeptical about how well humans learn anything in conference calls, Zoom, etc.  Limited learning, IMO.  Not worth the extra burden to me, unless limited.  

OP, 

37 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

This would be a lot for me to finagle 

...is there some reason you feel burdened to create activities for other people's kids, as in, you're a leader for a group or in a position to be required to do that?  Why can't those desiring something create it themselves?  [Said in helpful / cheerful tone...I'm just tired and not sure if this is coming across well.] 

In other words, does it *have* to be your responsibility?  Sounds like you already have enough on your plate?  Taking care of family = #1 priority?  

[BlsdMama]

1 minute ago, vonbon said:

Ditto!

Some computer work / socialization = ok...then we're ready to get outside, exercise, do meaningful physical work...in "real" life.

I'm hearing rumblings from different groups and teachers wanting to get things going online...and I'm not going to encourage any of it.  I'm not too keen on the kids learning physical things (ballet) well online 🤔😒, though I understand that some have a heart to make things as "normal" as possible for children...  I'm sure it comes from a good place?

...and I'm skeptical about how well humans learn anything in conference calls, Zoom, etc.  Limited learning, IMO.  Not worth the extra burden to me, unless limited.  

OP, 

...is there some reason you feel burdened to create activities for other people's kids, as in, you're a leader for a group or in a position to be required to do that?  Why can't those desiring something create it themselves?  [Said in helpful / cheerful tone...I'm just tired and not sure if this is coming across well.] 

In other words, does it *have* to be your responsibility?  Sounds like you already have enough on your plate?  Taking care of family = #1 priority?  

I am a coordinator of a fledgling group that was trying very hard to establish community - and I really respect that aim/goal.  I’m just thinking this is a huge IRL challenge and perhaps an online substitute is not adequately filling that gap thus the effort is a low ROI. But I also recognize my feelings may be unique and I might be making a reflexive selfish choice. 

[vonbon]

Of course, re-reading and analyzing this thread from a "scientific mindset" 🤓, LOL...😄:

You are likely to get responses like this from people who are hibernating or otherwise "checking out" online vs. those who are really craving that Zoom-type interaction.  *Those* types [said with ❤️ / humor / in jest]...the ones who want to keep interacting as "normal", even if they have to do it via video, might be the types to request such interaction for Scouts, etc.? 

Don't these boards tend heavily towards the INFJ/INFP personality type?  Types who are introverted in the first place; enough to "hang out" in a forum vs. in person?  

Just a funny thought / way of looking at these responses--  In other words, introverts are quietly celebrating and don't want any more interaction.  😆 The last Zoom meeting left me absolutely drained: lots of talking over each other, pausing unnaturally, shouting, missed cues, etc.  🥴 

[vonbon]

4 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

I am a coordinator of a fledgling group that was trying very hard to establish community - and I really respect that aim/goal.  I’m just thinking this is a huge IRL challenge and perhaps an online substitute is not adequately filling that gap thus the effort is a low ROI. But I also recognize my feelings may be unique and I might be making a reflexive selfish choice. 

Got it!  It takes a ton of energy (for me) to spearhead new groups and community-building can take a long time, so I can see not wanting to let that unravel.  Hope it all works out for you!  Your concerns don't seem selfish to me, but I tend towards introversion when things get tough, so...  take it with a grain of salt!  Blessings-- 🙂

[appyonthebeach]

18 minutes ago, vonbon said:

Just a funny thought / way of looking at these responses--  In other words, introverts are quietly celebrating and don't want any more interaction.  😆 The last Zoom meeting left me absolutely drained: lots of talking over each other, pausing unnaturally, shouting, missed cues, etc.  🥴 

This is me.  As an introvert, I'm finding it rather relaxing.  And I avoid Zoom meetings as much as possible.  They're anxiety producing for me.

[regentrude]

I would like all my activities to continue at least in Zoom form. It's a poor substitute for live interactions, but better than nothing.
In normal life, I used to spend a large part of every day with people. I am an extrovert, and it energizes me. (I got severely depressed when I was a SAHM and only got well when I started working. )

I really, really miss the class I have been taking that is now offered in an asynchronous online format.
I miss choir; we're at least trying a chat.
I hope our book club is going to do a zoom meeting.
The weekly happy hour with fellow teachers that used to be at the pub is now by Zoom, and we're now doing an additional meeting on Friday evenings.
I am attending a couple open mics per week by Zoom.

All these interactions are not enough to quell my feeling of loneliness; I cannot imagine wanting to do without. But yes, spending so much time on the computer screen is tiring, especially since all my work is now on the computer as well.

Edited April 4, 2020 by regentrude

[mommyoffive]

I like it for my kids.  I wish that their main interest (ballet) could be accomplished well online.  It is ok, but not the same.  I hate that they have to give up what they have worked for in that.  

I like it.  Maybe not hours and hours of it everyday, but it is better than nothing at all. 

[Guest]

I mostly was fine not having them, but after a couple of weeks off, DD's (usually weekly) homeschool teen club met on Zoom this afternoon. Seeing the difference in her mood after an couple hours of kids showing each other their pets and talking about how much rabbits poop, attempting to play pictionary, and finding objects tomshow each other in a silly scavenger hunt was enough to get me deciding that, yeah, I should probably set up something for my two homeschool clubs, and if parents want to not tell their kids it's happening, fine. 

 

My piano students, so far, are gradually trickling in. (Prepaid for the semester, and I'm essentially giving everyone April for free). I'm fine with that-it gives me time to adjust, too. 

[Jentrovert]

I don't want any of it; on the other thread I believe I said I'll have a hard time going back, because less social interaction is great for me.

However, I'm not the only personality in my family. 🙂 For dd, who seems to be an extrovert, I facilitate regular video chats with a friend. Ds joins in sometimes (he seems to be an introvert, but desires more socially than I do). 

We don't have a lot more time available than usual; we only had one evening activity. So, our schedule has continued pretty much without change. Extra classes or meetings online would disrupt our routine, so unless it's high-interest or required, it's a no.

Depending on how long this goes on, though, I may see about more for dd.

[BlsdMama]

2 hours ago, vonbon said:

Got it!  It takes a ton of energy (for me) to spearhead new groups and community-building can take a long time, so I can see not wanting to let that unravel.  Hope it all works out for you!  Your concerns don't seem selfish to me, but I tend towards introversion when things get tough, so...  take it with a grain of salt!  Blessings-- 🙂

This. This exactly! I’m an extrovert and I love face to face interaction. This “substitute” is something that is too much for me - all the work and effort of planning and pouring in without the face to face interaction that makes it worth it for me. 
 

This Covid stuff has left me drained. Several weeks into it and I’m starting to feel energy and the ability to “do” a little more, but I got the news my respiratory system is impacted (ability to cough) but NOT breathing ability in December. For a respiratory disease to follow on the heels of it? I’ve had to kill my anxiety again —something I’d really thought was good and dead and buried.  And it’s resurrection really surprised me and left me pretty drained and frustrated with myself. I was grateful for the dead stopped all the things. I have a very hard time drawing a line between “others want this and I’m in charge” and “need a mental health break it’s okay to say no.” Because saying no when someone asks you to JOIN is one thing but saying no when you’ve taken on the responsibility is a whole other ball of wax. 

[ScoutTN]

I am fine without, but my teens would not be. They need the connection to friends! Scouts, youth group, school/homeschool tutorial classes. 

I have to tutor (using Zoom) because we need the income. 

My mom is lonely in her asst. living lockdown. Face Time helps.

 

Edited April 4, 2020 by ScoutTN

[Forget-Me-Not]

I want to be left alone too. My high schoolers have a few things that need to be finished over Zoom so they can get credit, and my girls are doing a Zoom  watercolor class through our charter which is fine. But we tried a FaceTime piano lesson for my 7yo that did NOT go well—he was frustrated and ended up in tears (though to be fair we were also introducing the staff and the clefs for the first time and it was daunting to him). 
 

My church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) has cancelled all meetings for the foreseeable future (though they are doing our General Conference this weekend which people generally view from home anyway). I’m frankly enjoying the break from all the meetings, but I know from Facebook that members in other areas are scrambling to re-create online meetings and Sunday School lessons, etc. and it’s sounds SO EXHAUSTING that I’m glad it’s not happening here.  
 

My kids are a little bored and definitely missing their friends, but I’ve been enjoying the time together. Today we did a little schoolwork, played some Switch, did a little sewing, and made some treats for the weekend. 

[vonbon]

1 hour ago, dmmetler said:

Seeing the difference in her mood after an couple hours of kids showing each other their pets and talking about how much rabbits poop, attempting to play pictionary, and finding objects tomshow each other in a silly scavenger hunt was enough to get me deciding that, yeah, I should probably set up something for my two homeschool clubs, and if parents want to not tell their kids it's happening, fine. 

Yeah, my extrovert is the one person in the family I would overcome my own preferences for...  She does seem to get positive energy / into a better mood after phone chats with friends.  I'm now actually assigning / requiring she reach out to at least one person outside of the family every day.  

ETA: I adore my extrovert *and* in a family of introverts, boundaries have a way of being pushed and tested.  I think that's part of the drain; I'm having to provide the extroversion that she generally gets from groups of other people.  I might have to reconsider online stuff for her, just to keep all of us sane.  

18 minutes ago, BlsdMama said:

Because saying no when someone asks you to JOIN is one thing but saying no when you’ve taken on the responsibility is a whole other ball of wax. 

I thought during the first week of lockdown that I'd head up a weekly chat / Zoom / etc. online for our coop...now I'm not so sure because of this ^^^.  What I've also found is that, once I take on the responsibility to head things up, people start looking for even more in terms of leadership, decisions they need to make on their own, all the details and ways things get played out...ugh...exhausting and I just don't have the energy to commit.  Lot of anxiety here too; possibly causing a drain on energy levels.  

Edited April 4, 2020 by vonbon

[vonfirmath]

I am the Vice Coordinator for a AHG troop. I'd ideally LIKE to set up some sort of online meeting for the girls to chat and keep up with each other.

But realistically speaking I don't have the time/bandwidth to do it with everything else. And since no one is asking about it it isn't happening.

[rebcoola]

I want optional zoom meetings so if I'm in the mood I can hop but I don't want to feel like I have to.  That maybe unfair or not worth it to the hosts though.

[J-rap]

I enjoy keeping up with online activities/meetings over Zoom.  I guess I just like the people interaction.

[Shoeless]

I don't want any zoom meetings. I would rather people call me or text, but no zoom meetings for me.  I am grudgingly doing one each week for kiddo. He likes it, but I hate it because I have to help him with a lot of the class, help set up zoom, register each week, etc.  I just don't want to deal with it. 

[Carrie12345]

I’m with you.

My teens have been Zooming away. My younger ones meet up with friends in video games. Dh has all his calls and meetings. I’m not doing or facilitating anything like that, and I have zero guilt.

[Eos]

Dh and I are happily introverting - the two zooms I did were so draining I thought I was getting sick, but no - I was restored after a long walk in the woods alone.  My extrovert dd is craving more and more online chatting with her friends.  She reports that her school friends are not liking their zoom classrooms, which she thinks is sort of funny because she really likes her two online classes (as the only "real" homeschooler.)

Having said this, I do find myself more online with this Board - finding connection in the group that is closest to my heart's work.

Edited April 4, 2020 by Harpymom

[Sherry in OH]

9 hours ago, Margaret in CO said:

We took a couple of weeks off of Scouts, but did a Zoom meeting on Monday. It was tiring, but I think it was important for the boys. And I did a merit badge with a Scout (with his mom there) today, and I hope to do more. I think it's important for the Scouts to keep advancing. I've done three Eagle Boards of Review, very successfully!

 

This.   My older son is in OA.  They had a brief Zoom meeting last week.  He was so much happier after the meeting.  I knew he was missing interaction with peers, but hadn't realized how depressed he had become.  The troop is trying Zoom this week.  I hope it goes well. Both sons have been working on scout stuff but need some external encouragement.   

[appyonthebeach]

13 hours ago, regentrude said:

I would like all my activities to continue at least in Zoom form. It's a poor substitute for live interactions, but better than nothing.
In normal life, I used to spend a large part of every day with people. I am an extrovert, and it energizes me. (I got severely depressed when I was a SAHM and only got well when I started working. )

I'm the opposite, but I really feel for those of you who thrive on social interaction.  It must be really hard right now.🙁

[QueenCat]

I have a strong need to socialize, so online meetings are good...

[regentrude]

5 minutes ago, happyonthebeach said:

I'm the opposite, but I really feel for those of you who thrive on social interaction.  It must be really hard right now.🙁

thank you. yes, it is very difficult.

[rocassie]

I don't like it for ALL the things.  It is a nice option, and I have a Zoom meeting for my Bible Study once a week.  That's it and seriously it is enough for me.  With DH working from home and needing the computer with the camera as well as his cell, my tablet is the only other device with a camera.  Yeah, the kids don't have access to it nor am I going to give them access.  Trying to coordinate the kids Zoom meetings and my meetings would be a giant headache so I've said no to everything.

[Guest]

13 hours ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

I want to be left alone too. My high schoolers have a few things that need to be finished over Zoom so they can get credit, and my girls are doing a Zoom  watercolor class through our charter which is fine. But we tried a FaceTime piano lesson for my 7yo that did NOT go well—he was frustrated and ended up in tears (though to be fair we were also introducing the staff and the clefs for the first time and it was daunting to him

I started lessons back with just my oldest students, and then opened it up this past week to all my studio. So far, mostly it's older ones and kids with older siblings also doing lessons who are coming back online, and I think that overall, it's a good thing. Teaching piano via Zoom requires a lot more verbal explanation. I use screen sharing a lot, and a lot of visuals that way, but I can see it easily being overwhelming for younger beginners, especially if they don't have someone able to sit with them on the other end. I'm not opening my studio up to New students online, even though the community center I work for is strongly encouraging (and is advertising for their teachers who are offering new classes) because I think that the learning curve would just be too high. At least my current students all had a minimum of 8 1-1 lessons before they had to go online (and most had longer than that). 

[G5052]

Yes, I do. I'm a single parent and really miss my friends and activities. I need that. So I'm doing at least three a week. Keeps me sane. I've been using that type of technology for a decade, so it's not a biggie. My church has decided not to embrace that technology, so we are enjoying services with other churches. 

My college kids are online everyday with friends. 

[SKL]

I don't want the amount of things that are being offered, but my kids need to connect with others.  So for them, the occasional zoom meeting is good.  But not all the time.

Personally I have no desire to engage, but then I am an extreme introvert and I don't live alone.

As far as being the person to initiate the online meetings for the group - I have no desire.  I am very thankful to those who put forth this effort.  It is a helpful and healing thing for many users.

[wathe]

We did our first zoom cub scout meeting this week, at our regular meeting time.  It was really good!  Lots of laughing and smiling faces.

We kept it short (45 min) and made sure there was some physical movement (silly home scavenger hunt). 

Feedback from parents was positive.

 

[Forget-Me-Not]

1 hour ago, dmmetler said:

I started lessons back with just my oldest students, and then opened it up this past week to all my studio. So far, mostly it's older ones and kids with older siblings also doing lessons who are coming back online, and I think that overall, it's a good thing. Teaching piano via Zoom requires a lot more verbal explanation. I use screen sharing a lot, and a lot of visuals that way, but I can see it easily being overwhelming for younger beginners, especially if they don't have someone able to sit with them on the other end. I'm not opening my studio up to New students online, even though the community center I work for is strongly encouraging (and is advertising for their teachers who are offering new classes) because I think that the learning curve would just be too high. At least my current students all had a minimum of 8 1-1 lessons before they had to go online (and most had longer than that). 

yeah he’s had several 1-1 lessons and the teacher is holding out hope for a recital in May or June so she wanted to check in. Fortunately I play well enough that I can get him through for a while, even if lessons don’t resume until fall 😊