Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 If parents fail to fill out paperwork, do hungry kids fall through the cracks in public schools, even if they should be entitled to free or reduced price lunches? Dd15 has been telling me about a girl she's gotten to know who seems to be hungry all the time. She asks teachers for food occasionally, and has been known to sneak food from supplies in the home ec room: not great behavior, but dd says she's very thin and seems genuinely very hungry. From what dd has been able to learn, there is massive family dysfunction, so who knows what's going on in her home or whether her parents have filled out the forms for lunches. She obviously has some issues of her own, but sounds like basically a good kid. Aside from making sure dd has snacks to share, I'm thinking I should contact a counselor, just so someone else is aware of the situation. I think at least one teacher already is, though, based on what dd has said. I've asked dd if she'd like to take the girl out to a movie after school some day and stop to get some dinner, but dd doesn't seem quite comfortable with that. They're less friends than acquaintances at this point. Is there anything else I can do? I was thinking about asking at the school if there are supplies available for hungry kids to eat there or take home. Maybe an office could be stocked with some easy foods. The thought of this girl is just haunting me. There are probably others, too, I suppose. 🥺 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 In my school district, public schools work hard to ensure that no kid goes hungry. Teachers keep some snacks in their homerooms, principals send out emails to parents about subsidized lunches and personally stand in the lunch line to keep an eye out for situations where kids go without food, PTA gives the principal a fixed amount of money from their funds that he could use to fund such causes, the front desk has things like granola bars, yoghurt, apples etc for any child who stops by and says that they are hungry. This effort that they make is something that I admire. So, I think that you (or your DD) should encourage this girl to talk to the Principal if she is not getting enough food at home. The school will ensure that something is done about it. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 There is probably a social worker assigned to the school. She or he is the person to contact. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xahm Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Our local high school has a care closet that stocks certain clothes, school supplies, snacks, hygiene products, and gift cards to the nearest grocery store and day food places. A school where a friend coaches has begun sucking pbj supplies for kids staying after school to get something to eat. It seems like this is a major area of need in many places, and if your school doesn't have something, there may be room to start something. For now, if there's a food place in easy walk of the school, I'd get a gift card from it and find a teacher or counselor who can pass it to this girl anonymously. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 I'm going to contact the counselor this girl should be assigned to tomorrow (they assign kids alphabetically). 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Just now, Innisfree said: I'm going to contact the counselor this girl should be assigned to tomorrow (they assign kids alphabetically). I think that’s a great idea. The counselor won’t be able to discuss the student with you, but you can discuss the student with the counselor, if that makes sense. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 The gift card is a good idea. She gets on the bus right after school, so I might get dd to find out something about where she lives so I can pick a local store. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Yes. The school admins that I know of were encouraging eligible parents to sign up for the free breakfast/lunch program. Some for whatever reason do not fill up the form even if the admin is willing to help them fill up using the school office laptops. I know teachers with unofficial food pantries in their classroom and parents donate. My kid’s kindergarten teacher phrase it as “sometimes a child forgets to bring his/her lunch bag and his/her meal account is too low to buy lunch. If anyone is willing to donate things like granola bars, I would keep them in the classroom closet for the children with no lunch” Depending on how dysfunctional her family is, I might suggest a school food pantry for people like her to grab something to eat at school instead of bringing home and maybe “confiscated” by a family member for themselves. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I think this is more common than we think. Some kids are just "stuck" as their families don't/can't/won't fill out the paperwork. Sometimes it might be an immigration issue that they don't want their name on anything, sometimes other fear of the government, laziness, or a million other reasons. I really don't want schools taking the place of parents.....but for some kids, school is the parent. This year in my program, we have.....signed a kid up for community mental health, signed one up for social security disability, gotten clothes for one student, arranged for hearing tests and hearing aides for another student, free lunch sign up for one, and on and on. I do work with students that are 18-26 so legally we are fine. For some of these, these services are things they needed years ago but couldn't access and/or didn't know how to access. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Could you afford to have your daughter offer to buy her a school lunch once in a while until things are figured out? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ottakee said: Could you afford to have your daughter offer to buy her a school lunch once in a while until things are figured out? I asked dd about that, but they don't have lunch at the same time. So, at the moment she can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 16 minutes ago, Innisfree said: I asked dd about that, but they don't have lunch at the same time. So, at the moment she can't. What about just putting some money on her school account? Assuming the school lunch is set up that way and she has an account. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Some schools have backpack programs. They're amazing. On Friday kids go to the office and they're given a backpack full of food to get them and their families through the weekend. The school counselor or social worker would know about that if it is an option. I think in the school I used to work at, kids didn't even need to prove that they needed it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 13 minutes ago, DesertBlossom said: What about just putting some money on her school account? Assuming the school lunch is set up that way and she has an account. I can ask if this is possible, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Our school district gives everyone free breakfast and lunch except for, I think, two elementary schools. The quality is terrible, but it's available. Apparently once a certain percentage of kids qualifies for free meals, it's cheaper to save administration costs and give it to everyone in a school. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I would contact the school counselor for sure. (S)he can get a better feeling for what sort of assistance is needed or if CPS needs to get involved to make sure they get that assistance. I know in one state we lived even if a kid's family has enough money to pay full price for lunches if CPS has given any sort of services to the family they are given a lot of assistance. Free lunches, health insurance (Medicaid) for kids, therapy, rides to necessary appointments. All to try and keep the family together and prevent the child from going into foster care. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lecka Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 There is a backpack program here but only for the weekend. They mail the lunch info out and if a bill isn’t paid they mail out info about the reduced and free lunch and breakfast. Officially, after missing payment for two weeks kids are supposed to have a sack lunch (that is always an option) instead of hot lunch. In practice the Baptist church in a neighboring town often pays off balances. I am not sure if other organizations also pay off balances, but I know the Baptist church has several times a year since we have lived here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 We have the backpack program. But the parents have to sign for it, so it will depend on if she feels comfortable taking the form home. The counselor can call the girl in and find out what is going on and call home. Most likely there is a lot more going on than hunger. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 12 minutes ago, CuriousMomof3 said: Thank you for doing this. My middle child was once the child who was only fed at school, and while I'm grateful that they kept him alive, I wish that the fact that he was hungry raised red flags for someone, because hunger was just one piece of a terrible situation that no one seemed to notice was happening. One phone call to CPS could have made a lifetime of difference for my child. This is heartbreaking. One if mine came home from first grade and I found out (from the teacher) that another child was stealing his snack. When I asked him about it he said he wanted to bring 2 snacks to school every day because he knew what it was like to be hungry and not have a snack. Sadly that was his life before foster care too. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Absolutely call! Not all schools have the resources to help kids with meals. My daughter's teacher told me that he has never seen as many hungry kids as he has had this year. She is in a special needs school that gets a lot of support, but he says he is still buying classroom snacks out of his own pocket. I have started sending Costco size boxes every 2 weeks of snacks, but honestly, snacks don't replace meals. My daughter used to get her hot lunch meal and then give parts away that she didn't want, because the school meals were too small for many teen age boys. Parents often don't realize how small the meals are for students who may only get that one meal, or for kids (especially athletes) who have a larger appetite. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Call lots of different programs but their should be something. I'm glad more and more of our schools are going to universal free lunch, sometimes breakfast. Free summer lunch to though less locations so I'm sure transportation is an issue. It is just not okay for kids to go hungry in place with so much. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 kids whose parents don't fill out paperwork can fall through the cracks. it could be they don't know how - it could also be they dont' care. I'd verify she qualifies for free/reduced meals and contact with the counselor would be good. sadly - we've also seen too many cases where the parents are well-fed, and the kids are starving. I will hope/assume I'm reaching, but it has been the case on occasion. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) The counselor responded quickly to my email this morning and said he'd ask the social worker to check in with the girl, so that at least is in the works. He didn't answer my question about whether the school had any sort of food pantry or backpack program, beyond individual teachers providing snacks. I may follow up about that. I'd be glad to bring in some provisions for hungry kids, and I bet others would as well. Edited January 17, 2020 by Innisfree 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamanthaCarter Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 If it’s a real concern to you, maybe start a campaign for no cost school lunch for all. Most of the schools around here do universal school lunch. I am very fiscally conservative, but I see wisdom in this. Back when I was doing independent auditing on school districts, we had to review the applications for lunch, mostly looking for fraud and evidence of school compliance. That has a price tag! Weigh the increased food costs against the decreased audit pressure, and I think you have a decent trade off for the good it will do to those kids in each school that have negligent parents. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 20 minutes ago, happysmileylady said: . Mental health issues can cause all sorts of funky issues around food, No argument there. I figure the social worker can sort that part out, I just don't want to be the bystander who has a hint of problems but does nothing. 6 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, DesertBlossom said: What about just putting some money on her school account? Assuming the school lunch is set up that way and she has an account. In this area you are not allowed to put money into a specific child's account unless it is your own child. (So you can pay off the balance on every account in a school, or just all the 1st graders or put money into every account. But you can't single out one child.) Edited January 17, 2020 by vonfirmath 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 17 hours ago, Arcadia said: Yes. The school admins that I know of were encouraging eligible parents to sign up for the free breakfast/lunch program. Some for whatever reason do not fill up the form even if the admin is willing to help them fill up using the school office laptops. I know teachers with unofficial food pantries in their classroom and parents donate. My kid’s kindergarten teacher phrase it as “sometimes a child forgets to bring his/her lunch bag and his/her meal account is too low to buy lunch. If anyone is willing to donate things like granola bars, I would keep them in the classroom closet for the children with no lunch” Depending on how dysfunctional her family is, I might suggest a school food pantry for people like her to grab something to eat at school instead of bringing home and maybe “confiscated” by a family member for themselves. Yup. My sister is an administrator and only doles out $5 increments of gift cards to McDonalds and such because that way the kid has enough to get something to eat, but not to much the parent will take whatever is leftover. So they can get $5 over and over, but not higher, because the parent just takes it after they use it once, and then sells it for drugs. 16 hours ago, OH_Homeschooler said: Some schools have backpack programs. They're amazing. On Friday kids go to the office and they're given a backpack full of food to get them and their families through the weekend. The school counselor or social worker would know about that if it is an option. I think in the school I used to work at, kids didn't even need to prove that they needed it. Yes! Our church does this, with others in the area. Basically 4 churches adopt a school, and we rotate which week we donate. There are reusable shopping bags at the front doors of the church and you just grab one and take it to the store and fill it when you do your normal shopping, and then return it to the church. They bundle it together and get it to the school where volunteers fill the backpacks. We also work with the highschool, so they collect things like deodorant, etc as well, which go in a care closet like someone described above. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 16 hours ago, CuriousMomof3 said: Thank you for doing this. My middle child was once the child who was only fed at school, and while I'm grateful that they kept him alive, I wish that the fact that he was hungry raised red flags for someone, because hunger was just one piece of a terrible situation that no one seemed to notice was happening. One phone call to CPS could have made a lifetime of difference for my child. I am sorry that this happened. I wish I could say we can save every child, but with 500 students per year, some do fall through the cracks. And I can't tell you how many CPS calls end up going nowhere when I have called. It is frustrating. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 14 hours ago, Tap said: My daughter used to get her hot lunch meal and then give parts away that she didn't want, because the school meals were too small for many teen age boys. Parents often don't realize how small the meals are for students who may only get that one meal, or for kids (especially athletes) who have a larger appetite. I applaud any interest in helping out at the school level--so many good options have been mentioned, but I would like to point out that talking to the counselor is so much better than assuming a CPS call is warranted. The school can take your data, add it to theirs, and decide if CPS is warranted--they are mandated reporters. You can ask them questions to find out if they are attentive enough (in general) to notice when there is more going on than hunger, etc. My son was sort of in the above situation when he was in a private school for a couple of years (different reasons, not a teenager), but we had the added layer of unidentified ASD on top of it. My son ate enormous amounts of food just to maintain body weight when he was little (there is a familial tendency for this kind of metabolism), and while I sent a lot of food (a huge bag of it, daily), the setup of lunch wasn't working. The school had segregated allergen tables in the cafeteria (segregating the problem food, not the kids with allergies, IRRC), and that created issues for my son choosing where to sit (problem-solving can be a problem with ASD). TIME was a huge problem, partly because they tried to make sure the kids had a real recess with time for running around. They didn't have time to eat anything that required more than cursory chewing or manipulation (even baby carrots were too time consuming). Kids starting giving my son snacks they didn't want (he didn't ask for them, and I think they were happy to have the "problem" foods eaten), and then it spiraled into kids thinking he needed food because he was so eager to eat theirs. Anyway, due to communication issues, I didn't know what all was going on until the school counselor brought it up. Parents were mad at me and/or worried we didn't have food, but it was really that I wasn't giving my kid entire meals of convenience food because I needed him to still have a balanced diet while eating so many calories per day (I did send some convenience food, just not as much as other families). We already had a relationship with the school counselor by this point, so it was good that parents brought this up to her. So, please start with the school counselor, lol! 4 hours ago, happysmileylady said: Although I think it's great that you are concerned and that you have contacted the school AND that the counselor will be getting in touch with a social work, I would also caution against making too many assumptions. It's possible that this girl has access to food, and/or has money/money in her account to buy food at the school, but has disordered eating of some sort. Mental health issues can cause all sorts of funky issues around food, especially in a 15yr old girl. And going so far as to put money on her account, or try to get food to her specifically may not be helping the situation in the way we would hope. In general, I think calling the school and bringing the situation to the attention of the counselor and social worker is a good thing, because even if there is something else going on, at least people there are aware of the situation. And, in general, I think it's a great idea to find out more information about a back pack type of program or if there are other ways that food can be made available for those who need it. Even if this girl's situation isn't such that she's actually hungry, making it easier for kids who ARE hungry to get a hold of food, even if their parents have methods to provide food and aren't accessing them. This. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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