Teen flying alone

[maize]

My 16 year old will be flying alone for the first time in February. She hasn't flown much in the past, especially recently; will I be able to walk to her gate with her or will I have to leave her at security (any access for parents of a minor?)

I wouldn't worry if she were an experienced flyer but she isn't.

Anything else I should know to help her prepare? Her aunt will be picking her up at the other end.

I assume she will need ID, she won't have her driver's licence yet but I assume I can get her a state ID that will work. 

[gardenmom5]

Pretty sure  you can walk her to the gate - you do need to contact the airline ahead.  They just made a big to-do on our local news about 100 people a day can now meet their loved one at the gate.

[Lanny]

Or, you can help her to get  a U.S. Passport. I don't know about going to the Gate with her, but she will be fine. The most important things that she should do are:

(1) Have all of her documentation (U.S. Passport, Boarding passes (if they were printed out and are not in her phone), her phone, any medication she might be taking, eyeglasses, and the name and address and phone number of her Aunt. That should be in a Purse or Backpack or Laptop case or something and placed under the Seat in front of her seat. (The "personal" item)

(2) If there is a connection involved, it will be easier for her if she does NOT have Carry-On luggage in the cabin. Better IMO to check baggage and then go to the luggage claim at the destination. That way, in the connecting airport, she only has the tiny bag with the critical things in it and it is much easier, for someone alone, if they go into a restroom or something, not to need to contend with Carry-On Baggage and the "Personal item".

She will be fine!

[easypeasy]

36 minutes ago, maize said:

My 16 year old will be flying alone for the first time in February. She hasn't flown much in the past, especially recently; will I be able to walk to her gate with her or will I have to leave her at security (any access for parents of a minor?)

I wouldn't worry if she were an experienced flyer but she isn't.

Anything else I should know to help her prepare? Her aunt will be picking her up at the other end.

I assume she will need ID, she won't have her driver's license yet but I assume I can get her a state ID that will work. 

 

In my experience, if I look panicked enough and talk about Kid being a First Time flyer when we check the luggage, the airline worker at the desk will give me a pass so that I can walk Kid back to the gate. lol

I agree with a PP - if possible, check her luggage so she'll just have a backpack to lug around as she transfers between gates.

* There are online/phone mobile passes. IME, I have the boarding passes printed out at the front desk. For my kids, it's a relief for them to have a paper version. Easier to handle, imo, without having to dig out your phone and HOPE that the digital wallet or app or whatever is working properly to show the boarding pass.

* Remind her that, at security, she'll need to remove shoes, remove any electronic devices and lay it all in those tubs. There is always a metal detector to walk through and sometimes one of those awful, PITA body scanners, so have her pre-watch instructions on what to do if she's sent through one of those.

* My oldest is ALWAYS stopped for a "Bonus" session with security. Either something in her backpack flags security (so they have to do a search of her bag), or they do another scan with a wand of some type and swab her hands and test that for whatever (bomb making materials? I have no idea.... 🙄) So, warn her of this possibility.

Other than that, finding the gate is ALWAYS easy when she has enough time to do it. Try to arrange her flight with PLENTY of time for the layover, if there is one. If there's no layover, she's golden. Just pre-arrange with aunt where to meet her! If it's a small airport, that is super easy. Larger airports require some specific ahead-of-time planning.

Hope she has a great time! My kids have loved their solo flying adventures! (even when things don't go as planned.... lol)

[marbel]

My daughter flew with a state ID, not a driver's license. I am not sure about "real ID" requirements now though. 

This is not about the practical side of flying alone exactly. I would coach her on speaking up if someone bothers her. I remember a story from a few  years ago in which a teen was harassed or worse on a flight, and was afraid or too shy or whatever to speak up. That may have been a very rare occurrence but probably not a one-off.  Be sure she understands that she can  - must - speak up and contact a flight attendant if anyone is bothering her and not suffer in silence. 

Edited January 8, 2020 by marbel

[MEmama]

A Real ID isn’t necessary until October of this year. Be sure you understand what kind of ID she can use. Passports issued at age 16 are good for 10 years. They are full adult passports. Only one parent needs to be present to sign. 
 

We prefer keeping our boarding passes on our phones. It’s one less thing to juggle or misplace. Obviously she will know if she is more comfortable using paper or her phone. Either work just fine (she can bypass the desk if she has it on her phone though, and can go straight to the gate).

Do make sure she is able to receive texts from the airline. Last time we flew we took off late and very nearly missed our connector. The airline texted us in advance and let us know our options. They also text with gate changes, weather and so on. 

[maize]

She'll be flying direct between two major airports.

It's been a decade since the last time I myself flew.

Is there time to get a passport? How long do they take?

[MEmama]

DS recently received his in 2-3 weeks. 
You can request it be expedited since she has travel plans.  

Edited January 8, 2020 by MEmama

[Pen]

I was able to get a “gate pass” to walk minor to gate.  

We got a state ID because passport was expired and not replaceable fast enough.  If you have time for a passport that’s probably better these days than state id 

[Pen]

Gate pass was allowed for minor — even 17 yo without pretending to be panicked or anything.   We got to airport very early to make it easy.  

[madteaparty]

I don’t think you’ll be given a gate pass, my son’s friend flew to us internationally and it was like an adult flying, he was on his own entirely. He just turned 16 (actually was 15 when this trip happened). A bit crazy when you think I can’t put my kid on the bus to NyC without a form but his friend crossed the ocean blue just with his passport...

[fairfarmhand]

35 minutes ago, Patty Joanna said:

My kid flew alone at about age 15; I had been training him how to navigate airports since he could read...so there is that.  

The only thing I told him before we left him at security is that a lot of people a lot stupider than he is have managed to do this, flying from one place to another and meeting someone at the other end, and that he would be just fine if he used his noggin.  AND to speak up if he needed help. (That has always been a weakness of his--asking for help--so I had to call it out.)

Be sure you have the new ID that is required for flying.  You could get a passport if you have time, and that would also work...I don't know how long the passports issued at age 16 last--maybe 10 years??? I can't remember.  All I know is that my son got his three months before the cutoff so we had to get a re-issue a few months ago--had we got the first one 3 months and 1 day later, his would not have expired for another 5 years.  I mention it so you can balance out the cost of state-issued ID vs. passport.  

It's October when Real ID kicks in. 

 

One thing I do with my timid kid is tell her "Pretend that you are confident and knowledgeable. Behave that way."  (she really is knowledgeable but she is NOT confident in it) I tell her that everyone has to learn stuff, nobody knows everything and people expect folks old enough to get on an airplane to be able to ask a simple question if they have one. 

So pretending means that she looks people in the eye, stays aware of her surroundings (no walking hunched over staring at her feet), expects to get help from airline employees if needed, and she checks out signs and screens to figure out what she needs to know. 

[RootAnn]

For some reason, my kid's have been pretty fortunate to get a "precheck" note on their tickets many times when they have flown recently. That makes things so much easier on them. No liquids have to be removed from their bag; they don't have to take off their shoes. So, sometimes you win...

The first time my DD flew solo was domestically to get to an international flight where she was with a group. She had to collect her luggage, haul it to the international terminal, and check it back in. Fortunately, she'd flown several times in the past year with one or both parents so we tried to have her lead the way. (This generally failed because I'm very take-charge at airports and kinda took over. My follow-through on good intentions was bad.)

I offer Dramamine (non-drowsy), explain that they can ask for more than one snack, and tell them the non-alcoholic drinks are free so have at it. Also, be very vigilant about keeping an eye and hand on her bags. (In tight crowds, I wear my backpack in the front.)

Prayers for a smooth trip!

[Guest]

You can get an escort pass, but be aware that if you have PreCheck or Global Entry, it doesn't carry over. DD flew by herself last summer at 14, and I think she was more stressed that it took us so long to get through security that she was worried about missing her plane than she would have been to say goodbye at security. She had PreCheck, and got through quickly, but we didn't. 

Southwest upgraded her on their flights so she could board early. My theory is that even though she was flying as a "young traveler" vs "Unaccompanied minor", someone realized she was flying by herself for the first time (maybe at check in) and ticked a box. It definitely helped, because she is comfortable on planes, but was nervous about missing her connection. 

We also sent her with a prepaid credit/debit card so she could buy WiFi on her flights. Being able to message with us and with her friends while in the air definitely was reassuring. I think she texted me more in her 8 hours of outgoing flights and layovers than she did in the 3 weeks she was gone. By the way back, she was comfortable and kept me updated, but not much else. 

[Donna]

Dd17 just flew internationally by herself for the first time on Monday. She is a very experienced flyer (I think we've flown over 10 times in the past six months alone) and once I knew she'd be flying on her own, I had her do the navigating in airports and I followed along. She flew from our tiny airport (only 3-4 small plane flights go out a day) so I did not walk her to the gate but I would not have even at a larger airport. 

Things to know...Look overhead for the signs...they will tell you everything you need to know about where to go. Check the board listing the flights as you are going to the gate to be sure there has not been a gate change. Get her there early enough she doesn't need to rush. Take an empty water bottle to fill at the airport and snacks if it's a long flight. Do not be afraid to ask airport staff questions...they are generally very helpful. Dd is always carrying a violin so will always politely ask to board early so she is sure it fits in the overhead--if your dd will be taking a carryon, she may want to do this as well so her luggage is not aisles away from her when she goes to get off the plane. 

Edited January 8, 2020 by Donna

[QueenCat]

In addition to what others have said, please make sure she has a credit or debit card in case something unexpected happens & she needs to be able to buy more airport meals than expected.

[moonflower]

Unless she's not neurotypical, I think she's going to be just fine.  The only, and I mean only, concern I would have is to maybe give her a disposable flip-phone (if she doesn't have her own cell phone) and maybe $100 cash in case her aunt is unable to pick her up for some reason on the other end.  Other than that flying is easy; it's the easiest to manage of all the mass transits, imo, because it's so corralled - you go through security, you walk to the gate (there are a zillion signs), you sit, they call you, you get on the plane, you get off, it's VERY obvious where you leave the gate, etc.  She should know by this age that if she has a question or gets lost, she should ask someone official looking, and if that's not possible someone female.

I flew alone from age 7 and it's really not much different now, except even more corralled and easier, imo.  This will be a good experience for her!

[Kareni]

Is her flight lengthy? Inform her that non-alcoholic beverages are available free of charge on the plane but that snacks and other food must be purchased. Some airlines only take cash; others require a major credit card.

Suggest she use the restroom before boarding but let her know that planes do have toilets.

Regards,

Kareni

[Pen]

43 minutes ago, Kareni said:

Is her flight lengthy? Inform her that non-alcoholic beverages are available free of charge on the plane but that snacks and other food must be purchased. Some airlines only take cash; others require a major credit card.

Suggest she use the restroom before boarding but let her know that planes do have toilets.

Regards,

Kareni

 

Depends on airline.  On budget ones all beverages / snacks may cost extra. 

[Kareni]

1 minute ago, Pen said:

Depends on airline.  On budget ones all beverages / snacks may cost extra. 

That's good to know, Pen. Thank you.

Regards,

Kareni

[HS Mom in NC]

My 14 year old flew unaccompanied on Delta this summer on an hour and a half flight. I was required to stay with her until she boarded the plane and I was told not to leave the airport until her plane was airborne. Just before they started the boarding the employee scanning boarding passes called her name and walked her directly to her seat. Then they called the first group to board. It's a good policy. She didn't require an ID, but her adult sister picking her up did. There was a barcode bracelet the airline was  supposed to give her to wear when I checked her in, but it wasn't working properly so they skipped it.  It had her info in case she got lost or something-an airline employee could scan it and get all the info necessary.

I asked her, "If something happened at the airports or on a flight and you needed help, what would you do?" She was able to confidently tell me, "I would tell an airport employee I needed help. " So it was fine. She's been able to initiate conversations with strangers, new people, and adult employees without me needing to talk for her since she was a kid, so I wasn't worried about it. 

[QueenCat]

On 1/8/2020 at 7:46 PM, Pen said:

 

Depends on airline.  On budget ones all beverages / snacks may cost extra. 

 

Yes and some only take credit cards.

[Corraleno]

What airline is she flying? I ask because Southwest does a lot of things differently (esp. seat selection) so you would need to give her a heads-up about their boarding process and seating system. All snacks and nonalcoholic drinks are also free on SW.

When DD has traveled alone, I got a gate pass to take her through security, gave her a credit card to pay for WiFi (although on Southwest you can text for free with certain apps) and buy food during a layover or unexpected delay, and I told her to choose an aisle seat, preferably one with a woman in the middle seat (this is for SW, which doesn’t have preassigned seats). Most of the stories I have read about girls or young women being harassed or groped on planes, they were “trapped” in a middle or window seat and couldn’t get away without even more unwanted contact as they tried to get past the guy. If she’s in an aisle seat then at least in the unlikely event she’s sitting next to someone who makes her uncomfortable, she can easily get up and ask to be moved. 

[StephanieZ]

If there's no connecting flight, then it should be easy pesaey and I wouldn't worry. If SHE is nervous, then pay for unattended minor. 

If there's a connection, I'd pay for the "unattended minor" service since she's not an experienced flyer. 

My kids have been flying solo (to meet relatives for trips, visit friends, etc) since they were around 12, but they've flown a LOT. Before age 14/15, I only put them on direct flights. One time, I was flying my 13 year old and HAD to have a connection, so I made sure it was connecting through a city where my BFF lived an hour away, so JUST IN CASE she got stuck, my BFF could have hopped in the car and rescued her rapidly. When they were young and flying solo, I'd drive 2 1/2 hours (each way) to a large international airport just so I could get them on a nonstop. 

My 17 year is actually in Paris at this moment, and she flew there solo (she was meeting my brother in Paris -- who lives on the opposite coast from us), including a state-side connection, going through customs in Paris, etc. BUT, she's flown internationally with us at least half a dozen times, and domestically many times, and we make a point to talk through the process outlaid, have the kids fill out their out customs forms, etc, so they get practice. 

My only caveat: Make sure she has a phone and a charger and a cable AND a battery pack. And, show her how to put it on airplane mode as soon as she gets on the plane, because if she leaves data/cell on, it'll burn out her battery really fast, and that'll be a problem when she lands and wants to connect. 

[Lucy the Valiant]

When ours flew the first time unaccompanied, we also verbally talked them through what to do if the plane landed in a place OTHER than their destination. 

[importswim]

My DH is a pilot so my kids have a lot of airline experience but I have anxiety so I completely understand your nervousness, my kids have yet to fly alone (14 and 10).

You should be able to get a pass to go back through security with her.

Is she flying by herself or as an Unaccompanied Minor (this is an official service that can be a separate charge). If she's flying UM then you'll definitely get a pass back to the gate and like the PP said you'll see her board and have to wait around until the flight is airborne. They'll take her down ahead of all other boarders and usually they'll put them in a seat close to a Flight Attendant who will check on them during the flight. 

If she's not a UM but she's only going from one airport to another where family is picking her up that should be smooth sailing. Go early to the airport and talk to a ticketing agent about getting a pass to go through. If you can pick a seat for her pick the last row aisle as that should be close to an FA in case of emergency. If you can't pick a seat, don't stress, I'm sure everything will be fine!

Make sure she packs her toiletries (less than 3oz for each liquid) in a plastic ziploc. Lately, depending on the airport, they're asking for snacks to be pulled out of bags and placed in a bin separately so she may have to do that. She'll have to pull out her tablet,  e-reader, or laptop and put that in a separate bin, and if she doesn't have TSA Precheck then she'll have to take off her shoes and have those go through separately as well (this is why I agree with Lanny to check a bag if you can so she doesn't have to deal with juggling lots of things). Have her pack an empty water bottle to fill post security and that way she won't have to pay exorbitant fees for a bottle if she's thirsty.

You can google her flight at the airport to see what gate they'll have her flying out of and landing into and you can look on a map of the arrival airport with her (one caveat is that sometimes this changes in flight so tell her not to freak out if this happens) and let her know the general area where she'll be arriving and how to get to baggage claim.

You can also input her flight onto flightaware.com and you can follow it the whole way from gate to gate. It will give all of the stats including route and where they are at that time. Have her text you when she lands and is taxiing in and you could always help her through navigating over the phone. Flight Aware is incredibly accurate. I stalk my DH on it all of the time (he knows, lol!) 

She's 16 so I'm sure she'll love the independence. Good luck to you both!

[Corraleno]

4 hours ago, StephanieZ said:

Make sure she has a phone and a charger and a cable AND a battery pack. And, show her how to put it on airplane mode as soon as she gets on the plane, because if she leaves data/cell on, it'll burn out her battery really fast, and that'll be a problem when she lands and wants to connect. 

^^^ Seconding this.

I also make sure she has both paper and electronic copies of all boarding passes, so there's a paper backup if the phone battery dies and an electronic copy if the paper one is lost.