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so what would your child's reaction be?


Melissa in Australia
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how would your child feel  

98 members have voted

  1. 1. how would your child feel?

    • getting second in the state finals should be enough reward
      4
    • a little put off but willing to bake more next year
      25
    • completely disappointed , vowed to never bake again in the competition
      58
    • other
      11


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1 hour ago, Melissa in Australia said:

For those that say it is a good lesson in disappointment. This particular child’s life has been filled with disappointment. His whole life has been a lesson in this. He knows to NEVER expect anything because nothing ever works out. He already knows life sucks.

He couldn’t even get to theRoyal Melbourne Show to see his cake entered as we were having so much medical stuff happening with the twins.  

I was really really hoping this would be a positive thing. You know something to tell people he came second in the state finals and won $100

Only  two months ago month I was ringing a suicide help line for him. And calling on his older  left home brothers  to help me help him.

 

This is why I cringe when adults think it's fine to just give kids whatever is convenient, cheapest, or unwanted. I have a friend who has custody of young children who have been abused. The six year old won a prize at a children's drawing and was so excited. It was the first time she had won anything. The children could see all the donated prizes on tables—toys, sidewalk chalk, etc. The utility company that donated her prize gave two XL adult T-shirts with the company logo and some Koozies with the logo. The little girl's response: I knew I wasn't good enough to get a toy.

Edited by iamonlyone
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3 minutes ago, iamonlyone said:

 

This is why I cringe when adults think it's fine to just give kids whatever is convenient, cheapest, or unwanted. I have a friend who has custody of young children who have been abused. The six year old won a prize at a drawing and was so excited. It was the first time she had won anything. The children could see all the donated prizes on tables—toys, sidewalk chalk, etc. The utility company that donated her prize gave two XL adult T-shirts with the company logo and some Koozies with the logo. The little girl's response: I knew I wasn't good enough to get a toy.

😪😪   and that is why I get so hopping mad when people say it is a good lesson in disappointment. 

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1 minute ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Also when I commented I’m envisaging a kind of mum and dad country show with someone who’s probably worked crazy hard to make it happen and get prizes together at all.  If it was a massive multimillion dollar kind of affair I’d be much more likely to pursue it.

well he competed in the local country show, and came first the prize there was $1. it is one of the few entries that go to a higher level. he then had to bake another cake for the regional judging. six other first prize winners from different regions enter that comp. He came first there and received $25. Then he went to the state finals at The Royal Melbourne Show. There are 8 entries there, one from each district. He came second there with a supposed prize of $100.   the prize was listed as $200 for first.

 I will try and post the rules and recipe

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Just now, Melissa in Australia said:

well he competed in the local country show, and came first the prize there was $1. it is one of the few entries that go to a higher level. he then had to bake another cake for the regional judging. six other first prize winners from different regions enter that comp. He came first there and received $25. Then he went to the state finals at The Royal Melbourne Show. There are 8 entries there, one from each district. He came second there with a supposed prize of $100.   the prize was listed as $200 for first.

 I will try and post the rules and recipe

I would expect better of the royal show and probably would at least write and explain the situation.  If nothing else to prevent it being done to someone else.

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1 hour ago, Melissa in Australia said:

well he competed in the local country show, and came first the prize there was $1. it is one of the few entries that go to a higher level. he then had to bake another cake for the regional judging. six other first prize winners from different regions enter that comp. He came first there and received $25. Then he went to the state finals at The Royal Melbourne Show. There are 8 entries there, one from each district. He came second there with a supposed prize of $100.   the prize was listed as $200 for first.

 I will try and post the rules and recipe

He's obviously got a knack for this, and knows how to bake and re-bake a great cake. At this point, if this type of event is valued in your local area, perhaps your ds can capitalize on his big win and sell his cakes locally using those prime sultans to the good. Maybe that sultana company would be willing to sponsor/invest in a young baker/entrepeneur. 

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1 hour ago, Melissa in Australia said:

😪😪   and that is why I get so hopping mad when people say it is a good lesson in disappointment. 

 

I’m hopping mad right along with you!

No one should knowingly disappoint any kid. And honestly, it would be disappointing for an adult to have that kind of prize switch pulled on them, too! 

There is no way that any sane human being would believe that a $50 gift card for sultanas would be a reasonable substitute for $100 in cash. Never. 

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I voted completely disappointed.  They probably would bake another cake, but might not enter another competition.  I feel so badly for him. What an accomplishment. It probably would have been enough to come in second alone if the cash prize hadn't been stated. And then to get a fruit you dislike.  Yeah, there would be major disappointment here.

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Especially with the added information about this kid... I strongly second a strong social media rant. I'd get Twitter just for this purpose even if you don't usually use it.

I know it's a small injustice in the grand scheme of the world, but it's a big injustice in the grand scheme of this kid's life. And I think that's what adults forget when we blow these things off. Kids deserve better. Experiencing injustice doesn't do anyone any good in life. Like, I don't buy the whole "life isn't fair, get used to it," line of thinking for things like this. For things that are about luck and chance, sure. Like, if he had entered a drawing and hoped to win and lost, that would be, oh well, that's how it goes. If he had been running and tripped and randomly broke his arm, that would also be, oh well, life can be unfair. But someone made a decision to be unfair in this case. That's what's not okay. Being a disorganized organization doesn't excuse it.

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It was really unfair and wrong of the competition to switch prizes like that.  No kid wants raisins/sultanas as a prize, and I'd bet a lot of adults don't want raisins/sultanas as a prize, either.  The prize is so ridiculous that it's comical, (except it happened to your kid, which makes it not-funny at all).  I wouldn't blame your child for never wanting to participate in that contest again, and I'd be pretty steamed about the whole situation.

Adults can be such jerks to kids. We had our own disappointment with the county fair today. Long story short: we were promised ABC, we did not receive ABC, and the tour guide just shrugged, said "Oh well", and walked off.  The last couple of field trips we've done have been completely half-a$$ed and the guides terrible.  My son doesn't want to bother with them anymore.  

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1 hour ago, parent said:

The method sounds similar to my sticky date pudding recipe.  We discovered it in NZ 10 yrs ago and have included it at Christmas ever since... with a lovely toffee sauce 😊  I cook mine in a water bath.

What do you use for fruit?  Sultanas?

not sultanas, dried mixed fruit. It use to stipulate the brand had to be Sunbeam dried mixed fruit . 

 

it is good by itself, served with butter or served with custard

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8 hours ago, Catwoman said:

 

I’m hopping mad right along with you!

No one should knowingly disappoint any kid. And honestly, it would be disappointing for an adult to have that kind of prize switch pulled on them, too! 

There is no way that any sane human being would believe that a $50 gift card for sultanas would be a reasonable substitute for $100 in cash. Never. 

plus the sultanas are specialty vine dried expensive ones. So there would only be just over a KG of sultanas.

 

 

 I can buy regular Aussie sultanas for $8 kg at the local supermarket and even cheaper in ALDI. 

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16 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

No raisins here are a very large type of grape. The dried raisin is very large and has to be cut to bake it. It is only used for speciality cooking and are very expensive.

Sultanas are the ones that are used for general use, they are a seedless grape and the most common. You can eat them straight, use them in cooking or trail mix,

currents are a very very small grape and have a distinct flavour. They are also used just in baking.

a constant source of confusion in our house 

We don't discuss raisins! LOL

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I voted “completely disappointed, vow not to do it again”

but words coming to my mind are

”fraud”

”false advertising “

assuming that as basically both common law countries, US and AU have similar laws, I’d try to contact the the fair top brass and tell them to give Ds the prize money as promised and apology

and if they don’t do it, do you have something along lines of small claims court for a do it yourself case? If so, I’d not only ask for the $100, but additional for pain and suffering (Ds) and loss of time (you all)

plus contact local paper, or write a letter to editor... you could make it human interest with writing about distress but also try for a way that might bring positive publicity to Ds not sounding like just complaint...  but how hard he worked to perfect recipe etc...   see if together with him lemonade could be made of the lemons—like a little baking gig for more than $100.  

plus if you have a solicitor general type office that handles consumer fraud, I’d contact them.  

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Consumer fraud etc assumes that there isn’t fine print saying they can change or withdraw prizes at any time—. If there is such fine print, then not the legal remedies, but yes trying to get some positive publicity and lemonade from lemons.

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On 10/10/2019 at 8:00 AM, MEmama said:

Honestly, I think we’d have a good laugh.

DS is an athlete. He’s come in second (or third, or...) enough in his life that not placing first wouldn’t bother him. The “prize” of course is ridiculous and you bet it would make for a hilarious, if initially disappointing, family joke. 

Changing the prize is weird, but wouldn’t raise red flags to me. I’m sure it happens all the time. And the powers that be are notoriously out of touch, so substituting raisins for cash in a kids baking competition probably didn’t register as terribly unusual. After all, aren’t they an ingredient in the category (not entirely sure what a boiled fruit cake is, but it sounds to me like it might have raisins). 

Idk. I’d encourage them to laugh it off, donate the fancy raisins if your family doesn’t like them, and move on. Learning to deal with disappointment is a life skill.

This is my thought, too. I feel like there is fine print on most competitions that prizes may be substituted at any time and only the value has to be awarded, not the actual cash.

However, my son is also an athlete and maybe it happens more in that field. My son just won first place in a summer long event that required participating in four triathlons. He won a $50 gift certificate and was super excited to use it when we arrived home. He told me he couldn't find the online store and could I help him. He was rather disappointed to find out that the certificate was $50 off next year's races. 🙂 As I'm the one that pays, it really had no value to him. We had a good laugh about that. I would be creative about what he did win. Can he redeem it for birthday gifts for his siblings or something fun like that? Bake a big victory cake with the supplies?

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 My DD would be disappointed,  but she has done enough competitions where you get to the end of the day and they ran out of medals (or whatever) hours ago and they’ll mail one, six months later, (if you're lucky), that she would probably be not too disappointed, since she still won, and we’d likely offer the gift certificate and see if anyone we knew would be willing to buy it, so she’d get that much money. 

 

Having said that, she’s a pretty privileged kid, who has also had good things happen, so it's easier to be pragmatic about it. It makes a world of difference when this is one of the few wins a child has ever had. 

 

 

 

 

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Two things in this thread are bothering me: one, the idea that it's a nonprofit so it's okay, and two, the idea that pursuing it is somehow making a big deal over nothing. 

I have both worked and volunteered for nonprofits. I'm speaking from American experience, but I'm guessing most things are similar in intent if not detail. Nonprofits are meant to be held to a very high standard. They receive many privileges and tax benefits and thus have tons of rules they are meant to follow and a special responsibility to donors and the public. It is your duty to not only follow the laws and regulations but to put your best foot forward. Even if the small print allows something, you avoid any actions that could be construed as shady and cast the organization in a bad light. You have an obligation to take the high road. Nonprofits are a lot of work and responsibility, and if you don't want to take that on, simply don't become a nonprofit. It's a tough gig for sure, but when you accept the privileges, you accept the responsibility. 

Pursuing it is not making a big deal over nothing and I would say may be doing the organization a favor in the long run (more on that in a moment). It's okay for a kid to think that $100 cash is a big, huge deal! And that overpriced baking goods are not a worthy substitute. It's okay for a parent to not simply provide the money themselves, even if they can do so (and I'm a little surprised that more than one poster suggests this so casually, $100 is a whole lot of money to a whole lot of people). It's okay to say 'this is what you advertised, and this is what I expect.' 

It's not okay to publicly advertise a cash prize and get kids excited about it and then bait and switch. Not cool, regardless of what the fine print says. If a regional nonprofit doesn't have $100 available (which would be a very bad sign), then I'd sooner expect five of the board members to each pony up $20 before I'd expect the contestant's parent to do so. 

Why would pursuing it help the group in the long run? First of all, it gives them a chance to make it right. Whether they pursue it or not, every person who didn't get their advertised prize is going to talk about it to some extent, hurting the group's reputation. Equally as important, it might put them on a better path of responsibility and transparency. Once an organization starts letting little things slide, the little things start to seem routine and suddenly breaking bigger rules doesn't seem like such a big deal. Breaking rules opens you to scandal and endangers your nonprofit status. It's a big deal. 

As far as contacting sponsors, I can say that, ime, sponsors would far prefer to hear from an unhappy contestant privately and get the chance to help fix things. Their name is associated with the event, that's the point of a sponsorship, and if the event isn't being run as advertised they do want to know. 

Poor judgement is probably more likely than deliberate cheating or stealing, but that certainly happens as well, way more often than you might imagine. Which is another reason to make sure everyone in the organization is aware that prizes were not awarded as advertised. 

 

Edited by katilac
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4 hours ago, Melissa B said:

This is my thought, too. I feel like there is fine print on most competitions that prizes may be substituted at any time and only the value has to be awarded, not the actual cash.

However, my son is also an athlete and maybe it happens more in that field. My son just won first place in a summer long event that required participating in four triathlons. He won a $50 gift certificate and was super excited to use it when we arrived home. He told me he couldn't find the online store and could I help him. He was rather disappointed to find out that the certificate was $50 off next year's races. 🙂 As I'm the one that pays, it really had no value to him. We had a good laugh about that. I would be creative about what he did win. Can he redeem it for birthday gifts for his siblings or something fun like that? Bake a big victory cake with the supplies?

 

In the case of winning $50 off next year’s races, wouldn’t you just give your son the $50 now and then use the gift certificate to save $50 when you register him for next year’s races?

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4 minutes ago, katilac said:

Two things in this thread are bothering me: one, the idea that it's a nonprofit so it's okay, and two, the idea that pursuing it is somehow making a big deal over nothing. 

I have both worked and volunteered for nonprofits. I'm speaking from American experience, but I'm guessing most things are similar in intent if not detail. Nonprofits are meant to be held to a very high standard. They receive many privileges and tax benefits and thus have tons of rules they are mean to follow and a special responsibility to donors and the public. It is your duty to not only follow the laws and regulations but to put your best foot forward. Even if the small print allows something, you avoid any actions that could be construed as shady and cast the organization in a bad light. You have an obligation to take the high road. Nonprofits are a lot of work and responsibility, and if you don't want to take that on, simply don't become a nonprofit. It's a tough gig for sure, but when you accept the privileges, you accept the responsibility. 

Pursuing it is not making a big deal over nothing and I would say may be doing the organization a favor in the long run (more on that in a moment). It's okay for a kid to think that $100 cash is a big, huge deal! And that overpriced baking goods are not a worthy substitute. It's okay for a parent to not simply provide the money themselves, even if they can do so (and I'm a little surprised that more than one poster suggests this so casually, $100 is a lot of money to a whole lot of people). It's okay to say 'this is what you advertised, and this is what I expect.' 

It's not okay to publicly advertise a cash prize and get kids excited about it and then bait and switch. Not cool, regardless of what the fine print says. If a regional nonprofit doesn't have $100 available (which would be a very bad sign), then I'd sooner expect five of the board members to each pony up $20 before I'd expect the contestant's parent to do so. 

Why would pursuing it help the group in the long run? First of all, it gives them a chance to make it right. Whether they pursue it or not, every person who didn't get their advertised prize is going to talk about it to some extent, hurting the group's reputation. Equally as important, it might put them on a better path of responsibility and transparency. Once an organization starts letting little things slide, the little things start to seem routine and suddenly breaking bigger rules doesn't seem like such a big deal. Breaking rules opens you to scandal and endangers your nonprofit status. It's a big deal. 

As far as contacting sponsors, I can say that, ime, sponsors would far prefer to hear from an unhappy contestant privately and get the chance to help fix things. Their name is associated with the event, that's the point of a sponsorship, and if the event isn't being run as advertised they do want to know. 

Poor judgement is probably more likely than deliberate cheating or stealing, but that certainly happens as well, way more often than you might imagine. Which is another reason to make sure everyone in the organization is aware that prizes were not awarded as advertised. 

 

 

I agree with every word of this post!

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1 hour ago, katilac said:

Two things in this thread are bothering me: one, the idea that it's a nonprofit so it's okay, and two, the idea that pursuing it is somehow making a big deal over nothing. 

 

I don't think it's ok at all and I don't think if someone else chooses to spend some time on it it's a big deal over nothing.  I personally just have limited time and energies and as I mentioned before, my kids have a lot of privilege in the world.  They aren't particularly competitive either.  So if they walked along a road like that, it wouldn't occur us to be really focused on the prizes.   It can take hours to write a coherent letter.  It can take hours to track people down on the phone.  I just know what my own energy levels are and what is on my plate.  As I said, I might do a single follow up to make sure multiple people in that office knew their was a bait and switch, but I'd expect nothing.  

As I said, after the OP revealed what this kid has put up with in recent history, I totally understand why this would feel like one more defeating blow to a kid who has had a lot of struggles and why it would feel like worth pursuing in her case.  

Anyway, I obviously can't speak for everyone on this thread.  But as someone who said this wouldn't be a big deal at my house, that doesn't automatically lead me to think that someone else who would choose to follow up more aggressively is choosing to do so frivolously nor did I read this thread that way.  The OP was asking how this would go over at our houses.  I'm very sorry for her situation and for her child's disappointment.  As always, opinions vary on these things. 

Edited by FuzzyCatz
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1 hour ago, Catwoman said:

 

In the case of winning $50 off next year’s races, wouldn’t you just give your son the $50 now and then use the gift certificate to save $50 when you register him for next year’s races?

I wouldn’t. It honestly wouldn’t occur to us, probably because we’ve had so many similar experiences. He wins all kinds of things that are technically useless to him. Thankfully he knows what counts. 👍

As for the OP's situation, my answer doesn’t change. I do feel extra bad for her kid, and in that situation I think the prize money might be mysteriously mailed to him (ie I’d just pay it). I wouldn’t do that to my own kid, but her situation is different. Obviously the raisin people don’t know that, nor should they. 

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On 10/10/2019 at 12:18 PM, MEmama said:

I am honestly surprised at how many people, without knowing any details beyond the few provided by one side in the OP, made the immediate assumption that the fair organisers are “cheating” by providing a different prize.

I deal with a lot of non profits, and not one of them puts forth a professional, cohesive public face. The number of times I am told one thing only to have it change three more times and finally disregarded altogether before settling back on yet something else altogether...well, I just expect it by now. There are lots of (volunteering) hands in every decision, and miscommunication is commonplace. So I would assume the best in this situation and just move on. Never would it occur to me to assume high level cheating (for a kids cooking competition at a fair? Really?), nor can I imagine this being important enough to scandalise them on social media. The immediate, unquestioning rush to judge this decision explains a lot. 

If organizers put together a contest and put the prize *in writing*, then to substitute after the fact because it was convenient is indeed fraud. My first choice would be a letter to the organization, leaving social media as a weapon of last resort, but volunteering doesn't exempt you from legalities or give you permission to be less than as professional as possible. Once it is in print, any miscommunication will need to be dealt with up front as a correction, or left until next year.

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Update

Thank  you everyone so much for all your words of wisdom. it really helps to see something from many different angles. Helps me to see I am not overreacting 

 I wrote an email to the Executive Officer and received a reply. He asked me to mail back the s$50 Sultan voucher and is taking the whole thing to the board meeting on Monday next week. He said he has a recommendation to put before the board to resolve the issue.

 So hopefully we have a positive outcome.

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5 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

 

 I wrote an email to the Executive Officer and received a reply. He asked me to mail back the s$50 Sultan voucher ...

Still weird. He’s totally embarrassing his .org. Who asks for the prize BACK????? Wait, let them meet. You keep the raisins and get the $100. This guy is fishy. You mail the evidence and he walks.

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3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Still weird. He’s totally embarrassing his .org. Who asks for the prize BACK????? Wait, let them meet. You keep the raisins and get the $100. This guy is fishy. You mail the evidence and he walks.

 

Nah, she has it in writing from his email address.  Plus he's involving the mail, which in many countries is mail fraud if he doesn't follow through.

Just send it with some sort of tracking so you can prove he got it.

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3 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Still weird. He’s totally embarrassing his .org. Who asks for the prize BACK????? Wait, let them meet. You keep the raisins and get the $100. This guy is fishy. You mail the evidence and he walks.

 

I would tell him that I'll wait to hear what happens at the board meeting before I do anything with the voucher. There is no way I would return the only evidence I had. And he wants you to mail back a stupid voucher at your own expense? That's ridiculous! The voucher was a free donation to the organization for that contest, anyway, and if the donor really wants to be sure the voucher isn't used, they can just void it on their end.

Call me suspicious, but I'm wondering if the guy is worried that he's going to get in trouble for pulling a switch on the prizes, so he wants to be sure you no longer have any evidence that he did it. 

Can you email the individual board members and give them a copy of your emails with Mr. Raisins, and tell them your side of the story before he gets a chance to make something up at the board meeting?

Something is VERY fishy here!!! 

If the guy is being truthful, your email to the board members won't hurt him. But if he's lying, the board will be able to take action. 

If it were me and the board meeting was near my home, I would be very tempted to pop in and let them know exactly what happened. They are probably completely in the dark about all of this. 

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If u have a smartphone, take photos before mailing anything back to him. 

Also make photocopy of voucher etc if you have a copier.  

Depending on mail costs, maybe sending him a copy of the photo of the voucher by text or email would be better than sending the voucher itself by mail. 

It would be rapid, and assuming what he needs is proof that you were sent a voucher (not a cash prize) a photo would show that. 

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My kids would be annoyed, but they would be comforted by the fact that I would be even more angry at the injustice.  They would bake again if they felt like it, regardless.  My kids are generally in it for the bragging rights, LOL.

Sounds like fraud to me, and i do hope they make it right.

 

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  • 4 weeks later...
2 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

update

Ds received a cheque for the $100 today.

 He will  not bake for the competition again.

 

 

Good.  I’m glad he got the money prize he won.  I hope the check is good, has money to back it.

I think not baking in this competition again makes sense. 

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