Need gentle advice, travel baseball related

[Meadowlark]

Please, be gentle. Our hearts are still hurting here.

Long story short, our boys, 11 and 8, play(ed) on a travel baseball team. Not elite, try-out, or year-round.  Just average (or better than average kids thrown on a team together). This was my older son's 3rd year and my other son's first year. We had become increasingly upset over what was happening with my older son's team. We were traveling farther, paying more, and seeing our kid sit on the bench more and more. It got so bad as to the last few tournaments, he played only 2-3/6 innings per game. The important thing to note here is that him( lefty) and the other lefty, are the only ones who EVER sat on the bench. For 3 years it's been like this although hit a low this year. Again, we are NOT a try-out team and of course we are biased, but we do not feel our son is any less of a player than any of the kids who have never, and I mean never, sat out an inning in 3 years. He works hard, has a great attitude and we work hard to get him to every practice. Well, we committed the ultimate baseball sin-we approached the dugout in anger, like a balloon that finally had to pop after noticing him benched 2 innings in a row. Well, because of that, he got kicked off the team. It's fine, not the way we wanted to go, we were going to leave anyway and we felt that by mistreating our son, they were pushing us out anyway. 2 other kids also go the ax, and they spoke respectfully and privately to the coach about their son's playing time as well.  This guy just didn't want ANY feedback of any kind-like a dictator. It's just a corrupt and unfair situation that has many layers. Bottom line, coach (and organization head) is NOT a good guy.

So, our dilemma is this. Our other son has a different coach who we really really liked this year. He had a great season. The thing is, we were all set to take BOTH of them out because of the situation with our older son. We wanted nothing to do with the organization (who is headed by my older son's former coach). We didn't want to give any money, or contribute in any way to a team that would treat us like that, and kick our kid out.

However, we just got an email from my younger son's coach, and now I'm  second guessing. It sounds like exactly what we're looking for in a coach and team. He wants to play more local tournaments and said he lobbied to be put in with teams more our speed. They start in January and there may even be an opportunity for Fall ball down the road. My younger son is a good little ball player and he has already been dubbed the "best catcher" by his coach. All in all, it will probably be altogether a much better and totally different situation. But, still affiliated with the team that kicked my kid out.

The big question is-take both of them out based on the principal of it? OR, treat each kid and situation as individuals, and base our decision on what is best for each kid?

2 other factors to note-

1. There really are no other good baseball opportunities here. We are exploring options for our older son who has 2-3 years left, but it looks like the local rec league is all there is. And, it's dismal. But not as bad as sitting on the bench.

2. My older son would obviously be upset, but I don't know to what extent.  He knows he was kicked out because of us, but he also recognizes that what was happening just wasn't right. Would it be totally heartless of us to make him watch his brother's games and be any part of the team that he got kicked out of (because of us?). Is that ludicrous to even consider?

I don't want to throw away a great opportunity for my younger son, but I can't make a decision that would break my other son's heart either. 

I would appreciate gentle advice. Believe me, if I could rewind the clock, I would never let either of us approach the dugout that day. But then again, we wouldn't have put him back on that team anyway. I'm so emotional about this I'm not sure I've even thinking logically.

Edited July 26, 2019 by Meadowlark

[Scarlett]

Aw man.  So so sorry. I hate it when I lose the moral high ground.  But the truth is  you were going to pull him out any way, so forgive yourself for acting in anger and let that part go.  

Does the younger WANT to stay in?  If he doesn't really care, then I would pull him out and look for some completely new activity for them to do.  And I would have neighborhood or friends over for casual fun games to play ball.  But I am very anti organized activity in general....so I am probably not the person to advise you.

[freesia]

{{Hug}}  I wish I had wise advice.  I am just sad for you on lots of levels.  I'm so sorry this all happened.  And  i hate when things with one child impact another child.  I always get confused in situations like you are in bc I am so emotional. When I get like that dh tends to see things more clearly.  Does your younger one care that much, though?  Sometimes I care way more than the child involved and that would solve the problem.

[Farrar]

I’d leave him in. Don’t interact with the head. Try to let it go.

I feel you. My ds was really treated egregiously poorly in an athletic situation. We still have friends there who rave about how great the organization is. But this organization systematically screwed ds over. And not in a mild, overreacting parent way - they did some things in ignorance that endangered his health and also stated that they had stopped evaluating his progress because he wouldn’t ever have any (like, at age 12 a kid who isn’t even done growing will never improve at all? Bs). I can’t recommend them ever. But I’ve had to recognize that not everyone has had the same experience. The instructors never formed a prejudice, the kids don’t have the same physical issue... so of course they think it’s all fine. You just have both experiences in your same family. So keep your eyes open and I think you’ll be ok.

[Arctic Bunny]

Yuck! First, like others have said, I’d see if younger cares. Then, I would wonder if supporting younger’s coach doubly shows your disapproval of the other guy. Like, see? This is how it’s done! 

And maybe your oldest could slide into an assistant role. Maybe he could volunteer to scorekeep, catch for warmup.... we’re not a baseball family, but it seems there are always things coaches need volunteers for at practices and games.

[katilac]

I would put them both in rec baseball and work to improve it. I mean, what is wrong with it? Not good coaching? Not competitive? Not organized? Those are things you can help improve to some extent, and I don't see it being any more time-consuming than a travel team.  

If your oldest son's former coach were merely one more coach, I might consider letting youngest play, but do I understand correctly that he also heads the organization? That would not be acceptable to me. I doubt that the other coach will actually have that much say in where they travel and who they play, so I would not count on those changes. Ultimately, I don't see any great advantage to a not-so-competitive travel team for little kids when a local rec league that both kids could play for is available. I don't see why it's 'a great opportunity.' It's little kids, playing baseball. 

Would the youngest being on a travel team mean that the oldest could not be on the rec team? Or could not do something else? Because, yes, I would consider it a bit much to have him not able to play/participate in anything so that younger son could play travel ball. Plus, what is he meant to do while younger son is playing? I'm guessing there aren't very many older siblings hanging around the travel games, but I could be wrong. 

This travel league is like a bad boyfriend. Don't let yourself be lured back in with vague promises and pretty compliments. You broke up with him for a reason. 

 

[lmrich]

soccer, flag football, basketball... try another sport. It sounds like your town's baseball league has some issues. Who knows.. your boys might like it better. 

[Pen]

First talk to younger to see if he even wants to. 

If no, simple—find new activities 

If yes, talk next oldest son about his feelings — if he will feel bad or would just as soon try a different sport...     if he would like to have something to do with baseball still if possible then talk to coach of youngest and see if perhaps oldest could be an assistant to him if oldest wants a position and not to feel left out. 

[Ausmumof3]

5 hours ago, Meadowlark said:

Please, be gentle. Our hearts are still hurting here.

Long story short, our boys, 11 and 8, play(ed) on a travel baseball team. Not elite, try-out, or year-round.  Just average (or better than average kids thrown on a team together). This was my older son's 3rd year and my other son's first year. We had become increasingly upset over what was happening with my older son's team. We were traveling farther, paying more, and seeing our kid sit on the bench more and more. It got so bad as to the last few tournaments, he played only 2-3/6 innings per game. The important thing to note here is that him( lefty) and the other lefty, are the only ones who EVER sat on the bench. For 3 years it's been like this although hit a low this year. Again, we are NOT a try-out team and of course we are biased, but we do not feel our son is any less of a player than any of the kids who have never, and I mean never, sat out an inning in 3 years. He works hard, has a great attitude and we work hard to get him to every practice. Well, we committed the ultimate baseball sin-we approached the dugout in anger, like a balloon that finally had to pop after noticing him benched 2 innings in a row. Well, because of that, he got kicked off the team. It's fine, not the way we wanted to go, we were going to leave anyway and we felt that by mistreating our son, they were pushing us out anyway. 2 other kids also go the ax, and they spoke respectfully and privately to the coach about their son's playing time as well.  This guy just didn't want ANY feedback of any kind-like a dictator. It's just a corrupt and unfair situation that has many layers. Bottom line, coach (and organization head) is NOT a good guy.

So, our dilemma is this. Our other son has a different coach who we really really liked this year. He had a great season. The thing is, we were all set to take BOTH of them out because of the situation with our older son. We wanted nothing to do with the organization (who is headed by my older son's former coach). We didn't want to give any money, or contribute in any way to a team that would treat us like that, and kick our kid out.

However, we just got an email from my younger son's coach, and now I'm  second guessing. It sounds like exactly what we're looking for in a coach and team. He wants to play more local tournaments and said he lobbied to be put in with teams more our speed. They start in January and there may even be an opportunity for Fall ball down the road. My younger son is a good little ball player and he has already been dubbed the "best catcher" by his coach. All in all, it will probably be altogether a much better and totally different situation. But, still affiliated with the team that kicked my kid out.

The big question is-take both of them out based on the principal of it? OR, treat each kid and situation as individuals, and base our decision on what is best for each kid?

2 other factors to note-

1. There really are no other good baseball opportunities here. We are exploring options for our older son who has 2-3 years left, but it looks like the local rec league is all there is. And, it's dismal. But not as bad as sitting on the bench.

2. My older son would obviously be upset, but I don't know to what extent.  He knows he was kicked out because of us, but he also recognizes that what was happening just wasn't right. Would it be totally heartless of us to make him watch his brother's games and be any part of the team that he got kicked out of (because of us?). Is that ludicrous to even consider?

I don't want to throw away a great opportunity for my younger son, but I can't make a decision that would break my other son's heart either. 

I would appreciate gentle advice. Believe me, if I could rewind the clock, I would never let either of us approach the dugout that day. But then again, we wouldn't have put him back on that team anyway. I'm so emotional about this I'm not sure I've even thinking logically.

It sounds like the problem is with a specific coach not the organisation in general.  I’d leave your younger kid in and look for a better option for your older.  A good coach should be keeping to fair for the kids and giving them all a good opportunity to play over just trying to win.

[teachermom2834]

Way too much experience with travel ball here. Ugh. 

I think the bad blood with the older kid’s coach is going to trickle down to younger son. Unless he really is totally detached from younger son’s team I don’t think this is going away. I’ve seen a lot of confrontations and issues in travel ball and it is hard for a family to ever recover from these kind of situations that end in a kid getting kicked off. 

The exception is if your kid hits a lot of homeruns. Then you can do whatever you want. 

My kid who played travel ball is about to start his senior year in college (playing but not on scholarship). He says it was worth it but from a parental standpoint I wish we would have walked away from it all when he was little and we saw how ugly (and expensive) things were going to be.

When you are into it, it can be hard to see that you can move on to something else. A rec league, another sport, something else entirely. Personally I would walk away now. 

I am so so sorry for all of this. I have BTDT. 

[Meadowlark]

Each and every response is bringing perspective to this difficult situation.

My dh is leaning towards walking away altogether. He just doesn't want to support the organization at all, given that it's headed by this man who has really shown us his true colors. I don't think I mentioned that he axed our son in a TEXT. And, he wasn't even at the game.  And, my husband asked if he could speak to him in person and his response was that he didn't want to meet and he didn't want to talk about it at all. This, after 3 years of total dedication to the team that he created. Not once did we ever question him, or not show up, or not pay, or not be supportive of the team.  He hasn't even been around this summer to see what this other coach has done, and how he's treated a few of the players. There are about 3 of us in this predicament because this coach decided that the only way he could win, was to rotate right field among 3 players. So that meant that each kid played only 1/3 of every game. And every other kid played every inning of every game. This might be fine and dandy if we were a tryout, elite team. But we're not. And furthermore, the team is not even good! Their record last year was 7-15. So it's not like we're so competitive that this is what we have to do to win the games. That's why it truly felt like they were pushing us out. Who would stand for that? Traveling and paying that much to go see our kid sit on the bench? Ridiculous. We would be fools to accept that.

And, this head coach didn't even know the full story and why we might have "popped".  At the last minute last year, he emailed us and told us that he would be handing off the coaching duties to the assistant coach for this past summer, because he wanted to coach is oldest son being that it was his last year. So he hasn't even been around the entire season to see what this other coach has done and who has played. Not saying our behavior warrants a pass, but if he a tiny bit of knowledge or even was willing to meet-he might not have been quite so eager to dismiss us. But then again, 2 other people got the same fate and so it probably wouldn't have mattered. And I think his decision tells exactly how valuable he believes me son is to the team. 

Regarding my younger son-he cares. Initially, we told them both that we were moving on. That we were a family and when someone kicks one of us, they kick all of us. Both boys were very sad, I was crying and the younger guy was crying. It was a tough few days. I know that he would jump for joy if we told him we'd changed our minds. But, he has moved on in his mind and would never expect it. But then the older son...I have no idea how he would take it. He tends to be an Eeyore anyway and his disposition is quite negative. Not to mention, lots of change here since we're bringing him home from school too. He probably feels like his whole world just turned upside down losing both school AND baseball. Mama guilt to the max.

I totally get the idea of putting them both in the local rec league. After all, the old saying goes "don't complain unless you're willing to step in". I get it.  Heck, it's 5 minutes from our house! That's the league we did prior to joining the travel league. It was...okay. Not great. The issue is lack of commitment and kids who didn't really want to be there or take it seriously. It bothered the kids and it bothered us. So that's why when this travel team was forming (and our son was asked to be on it!), we thought very hard and agreed to take it a year at a time. The first year was okay, but it was very clear that there were 6 kids who had played together the previous year and who all went to school together. We were kind of the outsiders from the start. Plus, my son is a lefty and so he is already limited to 1st, pitching and outfield. We don't even care where he plays, just that he's not on the bench 2/3 of every game. The next year was a little worse-farther travel, playing the elite teams which we obviously lost to. And then this past year was the absolute worst-different coach, not playing, etc. So, all in all, there is really nothing about this kid's experience worth saving. It was time to move on.

But this next kid has a pretty good little team, a dream coach, and well, he will play. Plus as I said, the travel won't be as far. It could be a great opportunity for him. 

I guess it's the issue of whether we ALL need to move on, or put our pride aside and stay with the organization. Part of me says "to h$** with them" there's NO WAY we're staying. But the other part sees 5 years of really great baseball for the younger guy. Ugh. 

 

[Meadowlark]

39 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

Way too much experience with travel ball here. Ugh. 

I think the bad blood with the older kid’s coach is going to trickle down to younger son. Unless he really is totally detached from younger son’s team I don’t think this is going away. I’ve seen a lot of confrontations and issues in travel ball and it is hard for a family to ever recover from these kind of situations that end in a kid getting kicked off. 

The exception is if your kid hits a lot of homeruns. Then you can do whatever you want. 

My kid who played travel ball is about to start his senior year in college (playing but not on scholarship). He says it was worth it but from a parental standpoint I wish we would have walked away from it all when he was little and we saw how ugly (and expensive) things were going to be.

When you are into it, it can be hard to see that you can move on to something else. A rec league, another sport, something else entirely. Personally I would walk away now. 

I am so so sorry for all of this. I have BTDT. 

Funny you say that because my husband and I both agree that we should've walked away after the first year. It was corrupt even back then. 

It IS hard to go from competitive ball back to rec league ball. But, I see the value in it too. Just for FUN, right? Unfortunately, we started down this travel path and it's hard to go back. On the other hand, wouldn't it be nice to have my weekends back again? Oh, I don't know. We have a love/hate relationship with it. 

I do think it would be relatively detached, however-no doubt we will see this guy from time to time at fundraisers, etc. I guess it's about getting over our pride and doing what's best for our kid, OR standing up for what's right and showing our kids that we walk away from idiots who treat us like that. But then again, my younger son's coach is so far, everything we want.

[school17777]

I’m sorry your ds had a lousy season and now you are in the predicament.

I too would not want to support a club that treated my child that way.  I also would want my younger child to be on the team that is best for him. 

One suggestion is to have your boys give lacrosse a try.  It’s the same season, so they couldn’t play baseball if playing lacrosse.  Don’t know if that’s an option for your area or not.

[Carrie12345]

I’m sorry for the crummy situation.

I can’t  wrap my head around them kicking your ds off the team.  That’s so ove the top!  That said, after around a decade or so of Little League, I’ve seen many - maybe most - coaches get really close to a breaking point with parents coming to them about playing time because SO many parents come to them about playing time, and most of those parents are real obnoxious about it. Someone eventually winds up being the straw that broke the coach’s back, even if they’re not the obnoxious one.  But the coaches I’ve seen usually blow in a more private setting and don’t punish the kids.  Well, unless you count not coming back to coach the next year.

In our Little League, kids are supposed to get 3 innings, and they’re often done in a rotation that includes back to back innings.  4 of my 5 kids had plenty of games where they were on the bench for 2-3 innings in a row.  The only reason the 5th hadn’t is because t-ball put all the kids out on the field no matter how many there were, lol.  It really is a perfectly normal thing to happen in baseball and softball. I wouldn’t expect different in travel ball.

P.S.  I have a lefty who preferred first base and had to learn that keeping that position would almost always mean 2nd string because lefty first base is awkward.

[MysteryJen]

Hugs. I am so sorry for your situation. I second pulling both boys out of baseball and looking for a different sport.

So many sports out there, so many good and enthusiastic coaches are waiting to share their love of sport, don't let this experience get you down for too long.

 

[Jaybee]

I'm sorry about this for your family. However, since the coach who interacted (failed to interact) with you handled it the way he did, and is the head of the program, that would decide it for me. If he didn't have a position of leadership, it might be different. When our ds wanted to play soccer, we told him that was a good choice, but due to money and time constraints, it would have to be rec league. And though he is a good player, rec was what he wanted as well. It has been a great fit for him in two different locations. I'd ask around and talk with the boys about other options they might be interested in that would also free up time and money, since that only grows as they get older. We have family members who are very actively involved in club baseball/softball. Their kids are really good, and the whole family loves it. But there is no way we, personally, would commit the amount of time and money to it that they do. I'd rather have a more relaxed lifestyle with time to do other things as well.

[teachermom2834]

In travel ball coaches routinely take kids registration fees and then sit them out excessively in an effort to “run them off”. The coach got exactly what he wanted out of the situation. 

My ds was never the victim of this but we watched it every year on many teams. The parents would diligently keep coming and encouraging their child and waiting for their chance to play. But the kid was never going to have a fair shot. The coach was honestly probably happy that you did get angry and lose your cool because he got what he wanted and he got to make it look like you were the bad guy. 

Travel ball is a terrible situation if you are the last 3-4 kids on the roster. 

 

[wintermom]

13 hours ago, Meadowlark said:

But the other part sees 5 years of really great baseball for the younger guy. Ugh. 

There is absolutely NO guarantee of this. The coaching situation could change tomorrow, and you have no way of controlling that. It sounds like you should plan that the coaching situation will change, and then ask yourself if you'd still feel the same about this association. 

I'm so sorry that your family is going through this horrible situation. It is so very sad that so many youth sports organization is so crappy at player development. There are too many males out there with the mind-set that they are working to get themselves into pro sports, or something idiotic like that. I do not understand it at all. 

Edited July 27, 2019 by wintermom

[Pen]

After reading your longer explanation, I think you should walk.  Too much stress and drama. Not healthy situation.

[Bambam]

This sort of thing is the reason we left a large children's group that sounds great in other places. Our leadership, local and district, was severely lacking and ran by awful people.

It probably cost each of my kids $10-20K in scholarships. But it just wasn't worth it. I did not want my children to have these people as adult leaders that they should look up to/respect/etc. I did not want these people to have any influence/power over my children. We do not regret that decision. One friend who was right there with me through the entire mess, she has returned to the organization and is now promoting it. I believe the money possibility sucked her back in again. I hope the local and district has changed. 

Edited July 28, 2019 by Bambam

[Meadowlark]

12 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

In travel ball coaches routinely take kids registration fees and then sit them out excessively in an effort to “run them off”. The coach got exactly what he wanted out of the situation. 

My ds was never the victim of this but we watched it every year on many teams. The parents would diligently keep coming and encouraging their child and waiting for their chance to play. But the kid was never going to have a fair shot. The coach was honestly probably happy that you did get angry and lose your cool because he got what he wanted and he got to make it look like you were the bad guy. 

Travel ball is a terrible situation if you are the last 3-4 kids on the roster. 

 

YES! You hit the nail on the head. Too bad we didn't see what was going on until it all became too much and we lost our cool at the wrong time. It's funny but yes, I do believe he got exactly what he wanted out of this situation. The goal all along was probably to treat these few kids so poorly, that they would leave. What's really sad is that again, this was not supposed to be a super competitive team. When they recruited us, it was all about family. They didn't care about the player's ability-they just cared about good families, work ethic, and commitment. That was said over and over again. But obviously after 3 years of losing over 60% of the games, they changed their tune. Funny thing is, they didn't lose the games because of the kids who never played. They lost because of countless errors of the golden kids (coaches kids!) who never sat out an inning. Ironic.

[Meadowlark]

15 hours ago, Seasider too said:

 

Agree 100%. 

Don’t give resentment between brothers a toehold by keeping the younger son involved on the travel team. I can’t imagine not only having to watch without participating, but to do so knowing he was rejected (and that’s not entirely your fault, the coach was rejecting him by benching him before you got involved to complain about it), all while spending money and time and probably having to forgo other opportunities to do so? That’s like a prison sentence, imo. 

The brothers’ lifelong relationship is much more important than a few years of baseball. Let them both know your reasons are to take a stand against unjust treatment as well as to stay more local next season due to cost/time/whatever. Pursue the rec league with all your family’s energy rather than splitting it up between separate organizations. 

Thanks for putting this into perspective. This is exactly the honest reality check that I needed.

[teachermom2834]

8 hours ago, Meadowlark said:

YES! You hit the nail on the head. Too bad we didn't see what was going on until it all became too much and we lost our cool at the wrong time. It's funny but yes, I do believe he got exactly what he wanted out of this situation. The goal all along was probably to treat these few kids so poorly, that they would leave. What's really sad is that again, this was not supposed to be a super competitive team. When they recruited us, it was all about family. They didn't care about the player's ability-they just cared about good families, work ethic, and commitment. That was said over and over again. But obviously after 3 years of losing over 60% of the games, they changed their tune. Funny thing is, they didn't lose the games because of the kids who never played. They lost because of countless errors of the golden kids (coaches kids!) who never sat out an inning. Ironic.

I realize I am cynical after ten years of travel ball but your situation was not some unique crazy mean coach situation. I’m sure the coach was a jerk but this is so very common in travel ball. If you keep this as a family activity you will encounter it again. 

All the coaches talk about just wanting good families, work ethic etc. It really isn’t true. They want home runs and shut down pitching. If your kid does that they can miss practice, parents can misbehave, etc. we had teams that the top players played for free while the last few kids paid their fees and sat on the bench. 

There is nothing at all fair about travel ball. Coaches kids always get preference. There are always kids who don’t get a fair shake. 

Most of the kids we knew (including us) skipped from team to team from year to year. Coaches and their kids formed a nucleus of a team and the other kids moved around. No “family”. No loyalty. 

I never saw a team successfully walk the line of just for fun non-competitive travel ball. I would not count on younger son have five good years at all before it sours.

So there are all my negative feelings about travel ball (well not all...I have plenty more).

My ds was a good high school player and played Division 3 in college. His career outlasted most of the kids he played with. If I could walk it back and do it again I would have let him play rec ball until high school and then gotten into travel if he wanted and showed the potential. I don’t think all the young kid travel ball is what made him a good player. And if we had put him on the mega team he was recruited for (which traveled by airplane to tournaments) I don’t think he would have been any better. 

Okay...off my travel ball rant. I know some parents call it the best days of their lives and miss it when it is over. So mine is only one side of it. 

 

[BarbecueMom]

We’re a rec league baseball family, and my oldest is playing 11U with the same team/coach for four years.  At this age, and I’ve noticed this mostly over the last year, the kids who don’t love baseball have quit.  The ones with super competitive parents or draft dreams have moved on to elite leagues.  What they are left with is a core of kids who love the game for the sake of the game, who want to get better every time but not at the expense of everything else they do (scouts, soccer, family events, etc.), and who are willing to learn and make mistakes and cheer the small victories.  We are extremely fortunate to have a fantastic coach who is committed not just to each game and practice, but in helping to turn these kids from eager boys to responsible young men.  Sure, there are coaches who are only volunteering for the fee discount or who try to force a select club when they don’t have one, but there are wonderful coaches at recreation levels that really balance the idea of a competitive sport with preparing them for a life and world outside of baseball.

We played against some tough teams this year that really bordered on select/travel level, and the boys held their own (even a winning record!) because they’ve had it drilled in them from day one that every single pitch is a learning experience, that good things happen and there are things to improve no matter what the scorebook says.

Yes, technically moving them to rec would be a step back as far as competition, but the focus is just different.  It’s still baseball, and learning the value of hard work, practice, and a love for the game is far better than constantly bracing yourselves for drama and riding the pine. 

Benching kids for most of the game at this age for any other reason than behavior issues is just bonkers.  We’ve only had two kids in four years that ever had to sit out more than usual for anything other than a broken limb, and those were temporary so they could collect themselves on a rough day.  SMH.

[SKL]

Tough one.  If you had not already told your younger son you were taking him out, then I would have kept him in.  But now that you have said you are quitting and everyone has gotten used to the idea, I am not sure.  Maybe just move on.  If you do decide to stay, I would not force the elder to come to the games, as that might be salt in his wounds.

My two kids used to do all the same sports.  One of the sports involved a personality clash with Kid 1, but Kid 2 was in her happy place there.  In our case, Kid 1 was resisting going to the classes, so I finally let her quit.  I blame the owner for basically driving Kid 1 away, but Kid 1 has other sports she likes better, while Kid 2 does not.  So here we are.  Last year I forced Kid 1 to attend Kid 2's shows, but she was such a butt about it, I don't think I'll press it this year.