I feel like a terrible mother

[Beaniemom]

but I know I’m just being hard on myself. 

Today I took DD1 to musical theater but completely forgot DD2 had cheer practice tonight.  It was 3 hours late that I remembered.  Cheer is completely new for dd2 so I feel like every practice is super important.  Ugh! 

Share your stories of times you just blanked on something.  It’ll make me feel better 😀

[mathnerd]

Last week, both my DH and I were eating and talking about something that happened at his work (common for us to eat together as he comes home late and my son has already eaten most days). When I went to put away the leftovers, there was a lot of food. Then, I realized that I had forgotten to feed my son his dinner because he was out of the house during his dinner time due to a weird scheduling issue with his sports. I made him eat a late dinner after apologizing many times for forgetting. I have never felt more like a loser parent than on that day. My son does not ever feel hungry nor ask for food which is another reason that I did not notice on that day that he was not around and hence had not eaten. At least he knows now that he needs to let me know if I forget his dinner!

Edited January 8, 2019 by mathnerd

[Ausmumof3]

Mine is a crap wife not crap mum moment.  I totally forgot he had something on tonight and dinner was late so he had to go out without dinner.  It was only a bodgy pizza made with bought pizza base and I slightly burned it so now he gets to come home to slightly burned reheated pizza!  

Its holidays here and vacswim week.  Out of the house from 9 am till 1 every day and today we also had an arvo activity and library run and grocery shopping so things are falling apart a bit!  

[Ausmumof3]

1 hour ago, mathnerd said:

Last week, both my DH and I were eating and talking about something that happened at his work (common for us to eat together as he comes home late and my son has already eaten most days). When I went to put away the leftovers, there was a lot of food. Then, I realized that I had forgotten to feed my son his dinner because he was out of the house during his dinner time due to a weird scheduling issue with his sports. I made him eat a late dinner after apologizing many times for forgetting. I have never felt more like a loser parent than on that day. My son does not ever feel hungry nor ask for food which is another reason that I did not notice on that day that he was not around and hence had not eaten. At least he knows now that he needs to let me know if I forget his dinner!

My worst was once we were all in the car on the way to church when I suddenly realised the four year old hadn’t had breakfast.  He’s very like your son - forgets to eat and never asks for food.  We dropped him at morning Sunday school and ran to the store to get him something to eat as soon as it was over.  I did feel pretty awful.

[DawnM]

I lost my 3 year old at Disneyland for over an hour.  He just wandered away and it took me a while to even realize it.  We had APs and I would take the boys down (then 3 and 5) by myself a lot when I had time, and I lost him.

Another time, same child, got out of his carseat in my car at the gas station.  I didn't know he had gotten out.  I drove off, almost onto the road, only to look out my rear view mirror and see him HANGING onto the door handle while I was driving! 

He is still with us, actually made it to adulthood, and is a freshman in college.  

[DawnM]

Once my husband left my youngest at boy scouts.  We live 30 min. away.  Husband brought the older two home and about 10 pm I get a call from the scoutmaster.  "Missing anything?" he asks.  I said, "Not that I know of."  He says, "Hint.....one of your boys?"

DH had already changed into his sweats and a T-shirt and had to drive all the way back to get him.

We are GREAT parents!

[DawnM]

And then there was the time my youngest got stung by a scorpion at 4am and came into our room in our vacation condo and told us.  I said, "There are no scorpions in Florida, whatever bug it is, kill it and go back to bed."

He killed it, came back into the room crying and said, "Mommy, it really hurts."  I was irritated but got up, and DANG if there wasn't a dead scorpion in the bathroom and a kid with welts all over his shoulder.

[Carrie12345]

I literally scarred my child for life.  Well, I didn't DIRECTLY injure him, but I decided that the long, thin, shallow cut he got up his arm was completely unworthy of an ER visit. He now has a long, wide, raised, gnarly scar up his forearm.

(He also has a tiny scar above his lip from when he was a toddler, trying to climb a tower of binders while I was organizing homeschool stuff.)

[PrincessMommy]

new additions to the schedule always took a while for me to take in my brain.

The one that I remember the most:   middle son (of course, the forgotten middle child) had started taking karate.  I would drop him off, go home, and pick him up again.  I was constantly late picking him up, because I kept forgetting about the class.  Usually, I would remember in *just* enough time so I'd only be a few min. late... but he was young and the instructor had to wait for me, and I hate being late.  This was before he had a cell phone.  But, this one time... I was in my jammies one night when we get a call. "Mom?? Where are you?? Class has been over for 15 min?!!"  Was the plantive plea.... ugh.  He had to use his instructor's cell phone.  I was so embarrassed.    IIRC, I think the teacher even gave me a little lecture about not being late again. Yeah, I felt like the neglective mother.  I still feel bad about it... mainly because he's our middle (I'm a middle too) and I think stuff like that happened to him more than the others.  Ugh. ugh.  

[Storygirl]

When I was growing up, my mom was always late picking us up after our activities. Always. Not just a few minutes late. I could tell many stories about this this, but I'll refrain. So when I became a parent, I promised myself that I would NEVER be late picking my kids up. I would just never do that to them. It was very important to me.

Of course, the very first time I left my oldest at an activity, when she was four, I was half an hour late picking her up.

It really was just a mistake -- I was thinking her class ended at 11:30 and not 11:00, and I was preoccupied at home with my three younger children. But I was mortified, just the same.

[Paige]

My parents used to forget me all the time. Maybe it wasn't all the time but it was often enough. Once the school got a call that I wasn't to ride the bus that day and my mom would be picking me up. She never did- my teacher actually took me home with her after several hours! My mom was lucky social services wasn't called. It was before cell phones so I just called my home number every 30min and finally when my Dad got home he came to get me around 6:30 or so. 

I still love them, though. It makes for funny stories and I tell my kids to be grateful that I'm only a few minutes late sometimes! I'm more likely to totally forget to take them to their classes or appointments in the first place. 

[Tenaj]

My now 21 yods loves to retell the story of when we left him at home alone when he was five.  It was an unusual situation in that my dh and I were both driving separately a short distance to pick up  4-H lambs so we were taking two vehicles.  We sent Ds out to wait but instead of staying in our front yard he wandered to the back. 

Both dh and I thought he was in the other car.  We discovered it shortly after we arrived and I flew back to the house.  He was fine, sitting on our porch waiting patiently, with my parents who had arrived from out of town at that moment! 

It was nice that they arrived but they also love to tell the story of pulling in to find out how I "really" treated the kids -lol!  We've had many laughs about it over the years.

[PrincessMommy]

Oh. I just remembered.  There was the time when (middle son AGAIN) was having a birthday and I sang happy birthday to the wrong child.  Yup.   They remind me every time it's his birthday.   I think I started crying after I did that and I cry every time they bring it up.   I felt awful.  

[Annie G]

We used to take our kids to homeschool science classes at a children’s museum 45 minutes from our house. We’d go with another family and take a picnic lunch and make a day of it.  I once pulled up to the door to drop the kids off so they could run in and get to class and as ds got out of the car I noticed he was wearing slippers. And Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas.  

Edited January 8, 2019 by Annie G

[goldberry]

18 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I haven't read all the replies, but what I did might be a contender for first place, maybe?

I'm seriously embarrassed to post this, and I'm doing so to make you feel better, lol.

I once locked my (somewhere between six and nine month old) son (the younger one) in the car in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office!! I locked him in then went around to the back of the car to get him out for the appointment. Then I had to go inside and tell them. There was a fire department next door and they came to help. It was warm weather, and they were contemplating breaking the glass. He wasn't stressed and slept through the whole thing, except right before they got him out when he began to fuss a little bit. They didn't end up breaking the glass, though.I was sick to my stomach, felt like the stupidest mother of the earth, and was sooooo ashamed and embarrassed of myself. You better believe I was never careless about that again.

 

 

I also locked my keys and DD in the car.  She was under one year old and I also called the fire department.  So embarrassing! She was awake but fine.  I grabbed her out of the car seat and started bawling, I'm sure her tiny brain thought I was crazy.

DD has always been a drama queen, a tiny scratch elicited much hysteria.  When she was about 7 she came in from outside saying she hurt herself climbing a tree.  I totally blew her off without even looking.  Then she said, "I'm bleeding..."  (Again, usually that meant a tiny scratch.) Blew her off again and told her to go get a bandaid.  When I finally got around to look at her.. She had climbed a tree in her shorts and basically SLID down the trunk as limbs gouged the inside of her legs.  She had *deep* scratches that were bleeding and bruised under the skin all down the inside of her thighs and legs.  OUCH.  It's just so hard to tell with these hypochondriacs!  I had a chance to feel bad again when she called me from college to tell me "You're going to be so mad, but I have to go to the emergency room..."  THAT time she really needed to go, but really, she has gone a lot!

 

[Scarlett]

All of these stories make me LOL and then 😞 a little because you fabulous mothers even feel bad about them.  

I know a young woman who has an actual bad mother.....not drug addicted and CPS worthy...but very bad.  The mom  married a man with 3 boys when her dad was 15.  The plan ( and I have since learned she never follows through on any plan) was to buy a big house before the wedding.  As in there was a house picked out and all.  Instead what happened is they moved into his 2 bedroom trailer.  The dd15 had no place of her own AT ALL.  I didn’t find this out until she moved back to our town and in with her grandmother.  Then the mom left the man and moved in with her mom where the dd was who was 17 by this time.  That was not sustainable and the mom talked the dd into moving out with her.  The girl is almost 19 and can’t depend on her mom for ANYTHING. the girl is responsible for half of the bills....the mom has a different job every 2 weeks, electric is about to be cut off every month....just on and on.  

So no you all are not bad moms.  Hilarious  moms but not bad. 

[Paige]

52 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I haven't read all the replies, but what I did might be a contender for first place, maybe?

I'm seriously embarrassed to post this, and I'm doing so to make you feel better, lol.

I once locked my (somewhere between six and nine month old) son (the younger one) in the car in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office!! I locked him in then went around to the back of the car to get him out for the appointment. Then I had to go inside and tell them. There was a fire department next door and they came to help. It was warm weather, and they were contemplating breaking the glass. He wasn't stressed and slept through the whole thing, except right before they got him out when he began to fuss a little bit. They didn't end up breaking the glass, though.I was sick to my stomach, felt like the stupidest mother of the earth, and was sooooo ashamed and embarrassed of myself. You better believe I was never careless about that again.

 

 

I did that twice in one month with my first! I should have learned. He was tricky and would swipe the keys and lock the door himself when I shut his and went to open mine. He was somewhere between 9-15 mos

[J-rap]

43 minutes ago, goldberry said:

I also locked my keys and DD in the car.  She was under one year old and I also called the fire department.  So embarrassing! She was awake but fine.  I grabbed her out of the car seat and started bawling, I'm sure her tiny brain thought I was crazy.

DD has always been a drama queen, a tiny scratch elicited much hysteria.  When she was about 7 she came in from outside saying she hurt herself climbing a tree.  I totally blew her off without even looking.  Then she said, "I'm bleeding..."  (Again, usually that meant a tiny scratch.) Blew her off again and told her to go get a bandaid.  When I finally got around to look at her.. She had climbed a tree in her shorts and basically SLID down the trunk as limbs gouged the inside of her legs.  She had *deep* scratches that were bleeding and bruised under the skin all down the inside of her thighs and legs.  OUCH.  It's just so hard to tell with these hypochondriacs!  I had a chance to feel bad again when she called me from college to tell me "You're going to be so mad, but I have to go to the emergency room..."  THAT time she really needed to go, but really, she has gone a lot!

 

I did that too with my firstborn.  But for me, it was in a busy downtown metro area and the weather was below 0.  I was absolutely frantic.  I ran into the closest store (this was before cell phones) and called 911.  They sent a firetruck with the siren on!  I think my ds slept through the whole thing.  🙂 

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, Annie G said:

We used to take our kids to homeschool science classes at a children’s museum 45 minutes from our house. We’d go with another family and take a picnic lunch and make a day of it.  I once pulled up to the door to drop the kids off so they could run in and get to class and as ds got out of the car I noticed he was wearing slippers. And Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas.  

 

This is my "Bad parent" thing I do constantly -- not paying enough attention in the MORNING to what my kids are wearing.  I notice when I pcik them up from school, usually... a little late. It's one reason I hate to have clothes in their dresser that cannot be worn anytime.

[J-rap]

I've had a few interesting times of blanking out.

One of my dd's was about 7 years old and at a birthday party.  I had thought the invitation read "We will drive them home after the party" so I checked off picking her up in my brain.  With 4 other children to care for I completely lost track of time, and when I thought of it, I just figured the party was running late.  It turns out that the invitation said "Please pick up your child."  The family was being so sweet and they figured I was just slow in coming, so they let her stay...and stay...and stay.  My dd stayed for hours beyond the party time, playing with her friend's new toys, eating dinner with the family, etc.  Finally the mother called me and asked if I was able to pick her up! 

Then I have another dd who was chronically late or not where she was supposed to be when we were leaving.  We ended up leaving without her, accidentally and not even noticing, about three times.  Yes, we are one of those parents that you read about and can't believe it could be true!

[Scarlett]

Oops DP

Edited January 8, 2019 by Scarlett

[stephanier.1765]

At 4 my son started making these weird snorting noises and I would tell him to stop. He would say he couldn't and eventually I'd get frustrated at him and yell to knock it off. It was making me crazy. It wasn't until he started making strange jerking motions with his body that I realized something was really wrong. I had never heard of tics before and his got so bad that he was practically knocking his car seat over when experiencing them. I felt like crap. I had no idea but I still felt like the lowest of the low mothers.

[shawthorne44]

This traumatized DD a little.  

She was playing at a friends house.  We live rural so it is a drive.  It was getting late.  As DH left to pick her up, he asked if I wanted to go to.   We hadn't spent much time together, so I said Yes.  We arrived at their house, and DD wasn't there, she was being dropped at our house.  Which was empty.  DH had been working outside and left the radio on, so the other dad thought that we were home.   But the house was totally empty.  She was traumatized although at 8 I would have thought she'd have been fine.  Although I think it was also the surprise.   

 

[shawthorne44]

There really needs to be Hug reaction.  

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, shawthorne44 said:

This traumatized DD a little.  

She was playing at a friends house.  We live rural so it is a drive.  It was getting late.  As DH left to pick her up, he asked if I wanted to go to.   We hadn't spent much time together, so I said Yes.  We arrived at their house, and DD wasn't there, she was being dropped at our house.  Which was empty.  DH had been working outside and left the radio on, so the other dad thought that we were home.   But the house was totally empty.  She was traumatized although at 8 I would have thought she'd have been fine.  Although I think it was also the surprise.   

 

I remember getting off the bus a time or too and no one was home.  I was around 8 and mom showed up in 15 min or so.  But I wouldn’t go into the house alone.  That house creeped me out and I don’t know why.  Big old farm house with an upstairs.

[school17777]

My older two girls were hosting a tea party in one of their clubs.  Moms were invited, but no younger siblings were allowed.  It was also ds’s first day of lacrosse practice.  He needed picked up around the same time the tea party started.  Timing was perfect because I would meet Dh in the parking lot of the tea party with youngest and Dh would grab her and be right on time to pick up ds. Except Dh left work late and there was no time for him to stop to get dd. 

So, I asked the neighbor if he could keep dd for about 20-30 minutes so I could leave on time and Dh would pick her up after he picked ds from practice.  I jokingly told the neighbor that if dh’s car was in the driveway that meant he was home and to call and remind him to come pick up his dd because Dh “forgot” to get his older dd from a different neighbor another time.

I get home from the tea party a couple hours later.  The house is quiet except for dh and ds playing video games.  Dd is no where in sight.  I get excited because I assume Dh put her to bed (something he rarely ever (trying to avoid saying never) did).  Dh doesn’t say anything.  Phone rings and the neighbor calls asking me to come pick up my dd.  I laugh because I think he’s joking and I tell him Dh already put her to bed. He says that’s impossible because he’s looking at her right now.  I hang up and run and get her.  Dh never has explained his thinking in leaving dd with the neighbor all evening when neighbor was just expecting her for short time. I also don’t understand why the neighbor didn’t call Dh when he saw his car even after I jokingly told him too.  

[Guest]

When my youngest was around six, Dh and I were going out to dinner and leaving the big kids in charge. As I was leaving, my older son said, “We’re going to watch blah-de-blah (a movie I didn’t hear him name).” Foolishly, I assumed whatever movie he meant was surely acceptable for his younger brother to watch as well. 

Once I had returned home, I found out it was The Walking Dead. That’s was a pretty big vigilence failure, although I clearly don’t deserve all the blame. 

[lynn]

How about celebrating your sons birthday on the wrong day for years until you have to give them their birth certificate and actually see the date.  I kind of sort of an not sure if it's 20 or 21.  Now I don't think I'll ever get it right...lovely mom, huh!

[lynn]

Not a forgetful moment but my dd remembers and never lets me forget the time i was putting things from cart to my trunk at Target and while I was rearranging the trunk the cart rolled away with her in it.  She was 3 and laughing i caught the cart, no one got hurt, no cars were dinged and the girl just won't let "the time mom almost killed me" go.

Edited January 8, 2019 by lynn

[Annie G]

6 minutes ago, lynn said:

How about celebrating your sons birthday on the wrong day for years until you have to give them their birth certificate and actually see the date.  I kind of sort of an not sure if it's 20 or 21.  Now I don't think I'll ever get it right...lovely mom, huh!

Middle daughter’s birthday and our wedding anniversary are 8 days apart and I generally confuse the two dates. Like every year for decades.  

[lynn]

Just now, Annie G said:

Middle daughter’s birthday and our wedding anniversary are 8 days apart and I generally confuse the two dates. Like every year for decades.  

Glad I'm not alone in mixing up dates😊

[Tenaj]

1 hour ago, lynn said:

How about celebrating your sons birthday on the wrong day for years until you have to give them their birth certificate and actually see the date.  I kind of sort of an not sure if it's 20 or 21.  Now I don't think I'll ever get it right...lovely mom, huh!

I've never actually celebrated the wrong day but still have to ask ds which date his birthday is . . .he is 21!  In my defense, he was scheduled to be induced on the 7th (hospital was too busy)  actually born on the 8th, and his birth certificate was incorrectly recorded as the 9th.  

[Beaniemom]

6 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I haven't read all the replies, but what I did might be a contender for first place, maybe?

I'm seriously embarrassed to post this, and I'm doing so to make you feel better, lol.

I once locked my (somewhere between six and nine month old) son (the younger one) in the car in the parking lot of the pediatrician's office!! I locked him in then went around to the back of the car to get him out for the appointment. Then I had to go inside and tell them. There was a fire department next door and they came to help. It was warm weather, and they were contemplating breaking the glass. He wasn't stressed and slept through the whole thing, except right before they got him out when he began to fuss a little bit. They didn't end up breaking the glass, though.I was sick to my stomach, felt like the stupidest mother of the earth, and was sooooo ashamed and embarrassed of myself. You better believe I was never careless about that again.

 

 

It wasn’t a car but I accidentally locked myself out of the house with my 6 month-old lying on the floor napping.  We were between houses and “house-sitting” for a friend.  I took out the trash not realizing the door to the garage was set to automatically lock.  Luckily I was able to call DH at work and he drove 20 minutes to the house to let me in.  

[Ausmumof3]

10 hours ago, DawnM said:

I lost my 3 year old at Disneyland for over an hour.  He just wandered away and it took me a while to even realize it.  We had APs and I would take the boys down (then 3 and 5) by myself a lot when I had time, and I lost him.

Another time, same child, got out of his carseat in my car at the gas station.  I didn't know he had gotten out.  I drove off, almost onto the road, only to look out my rear view mirror and see him HANGING onto the door handle while I was driving! 

He is still with us, actually made it to adulthood, and is a freshman in college.  

This is interesting because we had a news story where someone drove down a major highway recently with a toddler in a nappy in the roof of the car.  We were discussing whether it was possible he’d got out and she didn’t know.  So I guess it is!

[Wheres Toto]

18 hours ago, Annie G said:

Middle daughter’s birthday and our wedding anniversary are 8 days apart and I generally confuse the two dates. Like every year for decades.  

Oldest dd has a birthday the 23rd of the month, both younger kids are the 22nd of the month, and our anniversary is the 26th of the month.  I'm constantly getting our anniversary wrong.  

15 hours ago, Beaniemom said:

It wasn’t a car but I accidentally locked myself out of the house with my 6 month-old lying on the floor napping.  We were between houses and “house-sitting” for a friend.  I took out the trash not realizing the door to the garage was set to automatically lock.  Luckily I was able to call DH at work and he drove 20 minutes to the house to let me in.  

When ds was about 9 months old, I put him on my bed napping and ended up locking myself out of the house.  I was so worried that he was going to wake up and roll over off of the bed, and it was a pillow-top mattress so super high.  No unlocked windows and it's before we stored a key outside.  No phone and I was wearing slippers.  I ended up slipping off my slippers so I could run up to our neighbors who had a key from when they used to watch our dogs.  About a block up the road, in socks, in the rain.

[BlsdMama]

Feel better?

 

😉

 

All of us have our moments. 

[shawthorne44]

6 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

... She had flipped over and was head first upside down in front of the seat.  DOH!   She was totally fine, thought it was hilarious, laughing and giggling....

One time when DD was maybe one, I was carrying her in my arms while walking down the hallway.  I tripped hard on something.   I rotated around while falling so that I didn't land ON her.  I hurt my elbow pretty bad (nothing broken).   DD thought it was great and said, "Again".   That answered the question in my head of, "Is she hurt?"
 

[lynn]

52 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

When my oldest was a baby, I had a car seat that had no base.  It was one of those where the waistbelt is just strapped across the car seat and fits into the slots.  One day, after a particularly LONG night with her, I had to head out early in the morning to drop her off at a friend's house before my 8am class.  I got her in her seat and carried the seat out to the car.  Turned the car on, got her all situation and ran back in the house because I had forgotten my purse.  Came back, backed down the driveway, started out of the cul de sac, I hear a thunk.  Turn around...

 

I had forgotten to actually strap the seat down.  I had pulled the seatbelt out and that's when I remembered my purse so I ran back inside without ever actually snapping it in.  She had flipped over and was head first upside down in front of the seat.  DOH!   She was totally fine, thought it was hilarious, laughing and giggling.

 

And one from my mom.....I was in 7th or 8th grade.  I was at a middle school Christmas dance, the only one that we bothered to actually wear dresses to.  Only sweaters because drop off and pick up was right at the front door.  The dance was like 7pm to 9pm.  It was my birthday weekend so my best friend was supposed to be spending the night with me after the dance.  So, dance is over, we go to her locker to get her stuff to stay the night, and have to deal with one of the teachers wanting to know why we were wandering the halls, so it's like 9:15 or so before we make it out the front door, and the line of cars picking up kids is dwindling.  We wait and wait, and we are just NOT seeing mom's car.  By 9:30, we are the only 2 people left, standing in the cold in our dresses, no coats.  So we go to head back inside and use the pay phone right inside the front door to call my parents.  The doors are totally locked.  So we stand there and discuss....and decided to walk home.  My house was less than half a mile from the school, no busy roads or anything, I actually walked to and from school most days.  But it's of course now approaching 10pm, we were only 12, and it's mid December in the midwest...COLD.  We made it about a quarter of the way home and my mom finally shows up and we pile in the car.  What had happened was that she had to work and my dad was off, which was unusual because normally he worked second shift.  She assumed since he was off that he was coming to pick me up, and he assumed since she was working that she was going to pick me up on her way home.   Although I remember it well, it wasn't terrifying or scaring or anything lol.  It's funny now.  Especially to tell it and watch mom get a little bit embarrassed even 30 yrs later lol.  

I've done something similar.  I was driving down the road and heard my 2 year old panicked voice saying "mama,mama"  I look at him through the rearview mirror and he's holding the part of the carseat that buckles in the fron t, up for me to see.  I guess I did not push the buckle part in all the way.