16 year old troubled girl *Update post 27* **2ndUpdate post 52

[Scarlett]

Please don't quote-----

I want to keep this somewhat vague. I have a friend with a 16 year old girl who is very troubled. She has been diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder....and maybe Bi Polar...basically I don't think anyone knows what is wrong with her. Her parents had a horrible divorce and it is still horrible 5 years later. But she was troubled before that. Her dad and mom share custody one week at a time. The dad has never calmed down and is very psycho about the new step dad (I do think the mom left the dad for this step dad but how long can the dad be a crazy person over it?) Anyway, the dad called cps over an incident with the younger girl who is 14....she lost her phone for lying to her mom and step dad and she flipped out and the police had to be called...so the dad called cps and said she had a bruise on her leg from the incident. Cps talked to the mom and step dad and was just about to close the case when the 16 year old made a suicide threat on Snap Chat and one of her friends called 911. Now cps is involved HEAVILY with the 16 year old (she was with her dad when she posted the threat....and she says she was 'just joking', but like I said she has issues)

I told all of that for the background on how cps got involved. So the 16 yo spent a week in the psyche ward about 3 years ago. They put her on meds of some sort but the dad refuses to make her take them when he has her....so that stopped. And she has been taken to counseling many times and refuses to speak a word. But now that cps is involved (which in this case is a huge blessing) cps says if the dad does not cooperate with treatment they will file medical neglect against him.

The mom took her to a psychiatrist who recommends the girl go into an intensive outpatient program. It is from 3:30 to 9:00 every day (Mon through Friday only). My question is have any of you ever heard of this type program and./or have any experience with one?

Edited February 20, 2018 by Scarlett

[MedicMom]

It’s called partial hospitalization. Often they are full day programs but with her schooling it’s probably just after school. I suspect it would be a huge help for her as it would be stabilizing, since she would only be home to sleep.

 

Staying on meds and having dad in compliance with the treatment will also be a big help.

 

Honestly it sounds like many of her problems stem from her home life and instability there. I hope she can get the help she needs.

[Scarlett]

It’s called partial hospitalization. Often they are full day programs but with her schooling it’s probably just after school. I suspect it would be a huge help for her as it would be stabilizing, since she would only be home to sleep.

 

Staying on meds and having dad in compliance with the treatment will also be a big help.

 

Honestly it sounds like many of her problems stem from her home life and instability there. I hope she can get the help she needs.

 

 

I do think it is her home life.  Part of the reason that the mom had such an issue  with her marriage is the dad's parenting and how it was harming this child.  She had no boundaries placed on her, no consequences...she has always done just whatever she wanted and the dad just allowed it. But it wasn't good for her AT ALL.  I remember one time being there and she wanted to go spend her birthday money at the mall...and the mom said no not right now.  The girl just kept repeating...'take me to the mall', over and over and over.  And the mom did try to ignore it for about an hour, but I swear I have never seen such prolonged badgering in my life.  I know the mom never took her that day.  

 

I do think it will help.  She needs structure in the worst way.  And I hope she doesn't have access to her phone during that time!  The phone has been a huge problem for both girls.  The are posting inappropriate things on social media and being sexual and I think maybe even sexually active....it is just a huge problem.  And the  16 year old wants to go live with her dad full time but the mom isn't rolling over for that even though she feels like she would lose in court....but hey maybe not now since cps is involved.  

[Scarlett]

I know two families who have had a child in that type of program. Very positive experience for both of them. They made much more progress there than in inpatient programs. They both had very supportive family, though. In the case you describe I'd be worried about the dad interfering.

 

 

I am worried about it too.  He is the type of personality that just won't be controlled.  But cps has a lot of power if they choose to exercise it...the best thing is if she had LESS time with him.

 

He actually thought that he could just keep the girls when he last had them because the mom told the 16 year old that if she wanted to live with her dad full time she would let her (but this was before the suicide threat so now the mom is not ok with allowing that).  The mom called the police and by some MIRACLE they made him come to the station and told him he was violating his custody agreement and to take the girls to their moms.  I think the police are just so sick of him and his drama.  He thinks the rules just don't apply to him and that is the lesson the girls are learning too.  Just make a big enough drama and people will give in to you.

[Carrie12345]

I have an adult relative who has been through intensive outpatient treatment. It was helpful for stabilization, and things remained positive for many months after.

[happi duck]

I know an adult and a teen girl that benefitted from a program like that.

[Scarlett]

I am glad to hear several of you have positive knowledge of it.  

 

I wonder how they handle a teen who won't speak a word.  As an example she has never told her mom she started her periods.  She just looks at her mom when her mom asks.  When she took her for a check up last year the doctor asked her if she had started her cycles and the girl just stared at the doctor.  The mom is fairly sure she HAS because of evidence in the house with 3 other females...but I find that such weird behavior.

[MedicMom]

I am glad to hear several of you have positive knowledge of it.

 

I wonder how they handle a teen who won't speak a word. As an example she has never told her mom she started her periods. She just looks at her mom when her mom asks. When she took her for a check up last year the doctor asked her if she had started her cycles and the girl just stared at the doctor. The mom is fairly sure she HAS because of evidence in the house with 3 other females...but I find that such weird behavior.

They’re probably used to it. :)

[G5052]

I know several who have done this in our metropolitan area. Like anything related to mental health, some have really improved and some haven't.

[Scarlett]

They’re probably used to it. :)

 

 

To silence?  LOL.... I guess.  

[Harriet Vane]

Just echoing what the others are saying.

 

Day programs can be a wonderful tool for real progress if the teen in question chooses to engage and face the issues.

 

And thank God CPS is involved. Sounds like it needs to happen. Since she is so old, this is basically her last chance to get meaningful help while she can still be compelled to participate. It's up to her whether or not to take advantage of those resources.

[Scarlett]

Just echoing what the others are saying.

 

Day programs can be a wonderful tool for real progress if the teen in question chooses to engage and face the issues.

 

And thank God CPS is involved. Sounds like it needs to happen. Since she is so old, this is basically her last chance to get meaningful help while she can still be compelled to participate. It's up to her whether or not to take advantage of those resources.

 

 

Thank you.  I think this is what I have been trying to work through. I have strong doubts she will participate.  But maybe if she is forced to be there long enough she will finally give in and help herself.  I suspect she will start going after the holidays....the intake appt is not until next week..

[SKL]

No advice, but I hope she gets the help she needs.  I'm glad the issue is being forced.

[Carrie12345]

Thank you.  I think this is what I have been trying to work through. I have strong doubts she will participate.  But maybe if she is forced to be there long enough she will finally give in and help herself.  I suspect she will start going after the holidays....the intake appt is not until next week..

 

 

It's an opportunity, and that's really all one can look at it as.  Personality disorders suck all the way around.  Often forever and often with the very best treatment.  If she chooses not to take full advantage of the opportunity, there's really nothing anyone can do about that, but everyone can say they tried with the best resources available.

[catz]

I know 2 families who had a very positive experience with a similar program. Though it sounds like this girl has a harder road to walk if her family isn’t fully supportive. I’m glad CPS is involved.

[lavender's green]

I hope the poor kid gets the help she needs.

 

I know of a couple instances where people used those intensive outpatient programs. It can work, especially if the patient and their support group is motivated. I also know a case or two where it didn't and it was just a huge exercise in "Everyone else is the problem and there is absolutely nothing I should do to change."

 

I know more than a few families who finally sent a troubled child to live with relatives for a year or two. The stability, the change of scenery, the clean slate at a new school, and less friction with the parents and other familiar faces, went a long way toward recovery.

 

 

[StephanieZ]

A close friend has an adult daughter with serious mental illness (who she adopted as a young child, but whose birth mother had lost parental rights due to bad, bad things, so the girl had a very traumatic early childhood and some unlucky genetics to boot) . . . 

 

Anywho, I know that at one point around age 18-20 or so, the girl spent some time (months?) in an outpatient/all day sort of program like you describe. In her case, it was very helpful. They'd been getting her mental health care for YEARS (since early adolescence), but she was never inpatient, and the intensive outpatient program (that my friend carefully found and felt was just right for her) combined with ongoing lower intensity (weekly, etc) support/therapy after the program seemed to be the thing that turned the tide. It's been several years since she did that program and she's been stable and relatively successful since then. (I.e., she's alive, in her mid-20s, stable in a relationship with a good person, holding a job well enough to mostly cover her very low cost living standards with help from her parents on big things and the state on medical things via some sort of disability coverage that offers her medical care/Medicaid of some sort . . . This state is a HUGE win for this kid who was at such high risk for implosion it's not funny at all.)

 

Seems to me that an intensive out patient program would be MORE beneficial in many cases than an in patient program, so long as the person can be "safe" outside a hospital . . . as it allows the patient to learn/grow/heal while still "dealing with" their regular life . . . so might be easier to integrate change/growth into their normal life . . . whereas inpatient programs, although sometimes necessary, naturally result in a large and risky adjustment period after discharge. Intensive outpatient programs, on the other hand, can sort of ease people back into their normal lives while integrating healthier habits/behaviors/meds, etc . . .

 

So, anyway, that's all I know. My guess would be that, just like regular therapy or in patient treatment, success varies dramatically depending on accurate diagnosis, quality of clinicians, etc. 

 

I hope your friend's child gets better. 

[Scarlett]

A close friend has an adult daughter with serious mental illness (who she adopted as a young child, but whose birth mother had lost parental rights due to bad, bad things, so the girl had a very traumatic early childhood and some unlucky genetics to boot) . . . 

 

Anywho, I know that at one point around age 18-20 or so, the girl spent some time (months?) in an outpatient/all day sort of program like you describe. In her case, it was very helpful. They'd been getting her mental health care for YEARS (since early adolescence), but she was never inpatient, and the intensive outpatient program (that my friend carefully found and felt was just right for her) combined with ongoing lower intensity (weekly, etc) support/therapy after the program seemed to be the thing that turned the tide. It's been several years since she did that program and she's been stable and relatively successful since then. (I.e., she's alive, in her mid-20s, stable in a relationship with a good person, holding a job well enough to mostly cover her very low cost living standards with help from her parents on big things and the state on medical things via some sort of disability coverage that offers her medical care/Medicaid of some sort . . . This state is a HUGE win for this kid who was at such high risk for implosion it's not funny at all.)

 

Seems to me that an intensive out patient program would be MORE beneficial in many cases than an in patient program, so long as the person can be "safe" outside a hospital . . . as it allows the patient to learn/grow/heal while still "dealing with" their regular life . . . so might be easier to integrate change/growth into their normal life . . . whereas inpatient programs, although sometimes necessary, naturally result in a large and risky adjustment period after discharge. Intensive outpatient programs, on the other hand, can sort of ease people back into their normal lives while integrating healthier habits/behaviors/meds, etc . . .

 

So, anyway, that's all I know. My guess would be that, just like regular therapy or in patient treatment, success varies dramatically depending on accurate diagnosis, quality of clinicians, etc. 

 

I hope your friend's child gets better. 

 

 

The bolded is an excellent point and I can tell the mom that.  I think that will make her feel better.  It would help if the dad would get a clue, but if he won't at least maybe the girl can be taught to recognize his unhealthy parenting and reactions.

[Annie G]

I've known a few families who have had teens in this type of program. It was very helpful and the kids are doing much better. 

As for the silence, maybe she will come around or maybe she will at least hear what the therapists will say to her.  I wouldn't be surprised if she opened up to the therapists after she develops some trust. Maybe she doesn't want to talk to her parents because she doesn't trust them. Perhaps being put in the middle of their divorce has caused her to shut down communication. 

 

In any case...yes, I have seen this type of treatment be successful. 

[mom2scouts]

I have experience with an intensive outpatient program for adults (partial hospitalization). They allow people to get the intensive care they need while maintaining some home life. In this case, it sounds like they allow teens to continue in school. Insurance companies are more likely to pay for it because it's less expensive than inpatient care. The counselors are able to assess whether a patient needs to move to inpatient (suicidal, catatonic, uncontrolled crying) while giving most people that same level of care without admitting them. I would recommend (and have) these kinds of programs and have seen them be very successful.

 

ETA:  As for her not speaking, some of the people working in these types of programs are very good at what they do. Not responding will not be an option. If she's in a program like that and refuses to participate, they may move her to an involuntary inpatient admit.

Edited December 13, 2017 by mom2scouts

[Lizzie in Ma]

Inpatient places, in our experience, are often pits of hell.  They are a holding place, not much more.  Outpatient is a very different story and it sounds like she would benefit from one.

There are also other inpatient places, like an ART (acute residential treatment) program, which are very helpful.  I am glad CPS is involved, sounds like the kid could really use someone else in her corner.

[TravelingChris]

I would think outpatient intensive is much better than inpatient.  As to inappropriate sexual behavior on phones, you do know. Scarlett, that one of the hallmarks of mania is hypersexuality?  OTOH, there are certainly enough kids around doing dumb stuff on phones (and old congressman too) so that alone wouldn't mean bipolar.  It is hard to know how much is situational problems and how much is underlying problems exacerbated with stress.  Sucky family life is certainly very stressful.

[Scarlett]

Yes Chris. I thought of that. Iï¸ do think there us done mania going on, but also the younger one us doing the same stuff, and she did not previously have issues like the older one. So that leaves me to believe that it’s more situational and or bad family life. Their dad is a coach on some kind of ball team ( club not public school) and these girls are getting phone numbers from high school boys from other high schools . And when I see their Instagrams it is clear to me that they are conversing with boys they do not know at all.

[Scarlett]

I just looked at her Instagram account. She posted a picture of herself. It was not inappropriate. It was her at a ball game with a friend. And then she tagged a boy and he responded “ you are seriously one weird little girl. You are becoming a stalker. SMH ‘

 

The timeline corresponds to her suicide threat .

Edited December 14, 2017 by Scarlett

[dirty ethel rackham]

I'm pretty sure they are required to surrender phones while attending a PIP. If they bring a phone, they have to turn it in when they sing in and get it back when they sign out.

K participated in one and it was incredibly helpful. First of all, it took a huge load off my mind because it was a safe place during the time that she was unstable unable to be left alone. This meant I could not do carpool, run errands or do anything until another adult could be home. Also, the daily therapy meant that it was much harder to snow the therapists and they were able to peel back some layers more quickly (and those were some truly terrifying layers.) They also worked and strategies for handling triggers and daily living. There have been times when I wished K would have agreed to go again, but you can't force an adult into treatment.

 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[Scarlett]

I just looked at her Instagram account. She posted a picture of herself. It was not inappropriate. It was her at a ball game with a friend. And then she tagged a boy and he responded “ you are seriously one weird little girl. You are becoming a stalker. SMH ‘

 

The timeline corresponds to her suicide threat .

So her father refused to take her to the program that the psychiatrist recommended. Says he has a place in mind. The CPS lady told the mother to give him two weeks to come up with something and if he didn't medical neglect charges would be filed. He comes up with an out of network psychologist.....the mother was at first upset by that but the girl needs something so she cooperated and turns out the psychologist is a woman and wonderful. The mother likes her. It is only a once a week program, but looks promising. She's only been to 2 or 3 appts.

 

On Wednesday, the same day that 17 high school kids die in FL, the police call the girl's mom. Apparently a boy came to school with a pocket knife.....a boy who is never in trouble...and after a visit to the principal he reveals he was scared because this girl has threatened to 'get my *iggas on you'.....because he wouldn't return her very shocking sexual advances. An investigation ensues. 8 other boys are interviewed, all with a similar story. Shocking graphic offers of various sexual things. Her refusing to stop the texting an emailing after repeated requests by them. A forged email from the girl to one boys mom to try to get him in trouble.

 

The bottom line is that if the girl contacts any of those boys again she will be arrested. And if the parents of the boy she threatened with her 'hoodlums' presses charges she will be arrested.

 

They aren't playing. And this girl has zero understanding of how serious this is.

 

When the police officer called the girls dad he was beligerant and defiant and said, 'oh she weighs 90 pounds she can't hurt anyone'. And blah blah blah. Police lady finally cuts him off and says, ' if she contacts any of these boys she will be arrested! He says, ' OK, OK, I get I!' Rudely. Police officer calls the girls mom back and says 'wow, he is not getting this'.

 

When the girls mom picked her up from school, the girl,denied it all. Still does. mom got the police on the phone and on speaker the policewoman talked to the girl. Told her, ' I am sitting her looking at all the evidence from YOU. And there is no denying it is all from YOU. So you will not think this is a game when you find yourself handcuffed in the back of my patrol car.'.

 

The girls mom takes the phone away for the foreseeable future.....when she has tried before the dad gives it back to her as soon as she gets back to his house. The time the mom tried to keep it at her house to keep it away from her he called the police and filed theft charges on the mom.

 

Yesterday the mom called the psychologist and filled her in. Next appt is Momday. And one of the things this psychologist is trying to determine is if the girl has something really wrong with her or is she just conditioned to getting her way.. She is having the mom gather ALL test results from school since first grade....and all the other psychiatrist and other Doctor records.

 

I do not see this ending well. I feel so horrible for the mom and for the girl. The girl must be so miserable inside.

[maize]

There is definitely something going on, no teen with a healthy brain behaves that way.

 

I hope mom is able to get effective help for her, sounds like it is going to be a long road at best.

[Scarlett]

There is definitely something going on, no teen with a healthy brain behaves that way.

 

I hope mom is able to get effective help for her, sounds like it is going to be a long road at best.

She will be 17 in a few months. I feel sick because all studies indicate kids like this, troubled in this way, are best helped when younger. Like before age 14. After that it is almost impossible for interventions to work.

[Scarlett]

And what is the deal with the hyper-sexuality? I think that can be a sign of bi polar.....but I am not sure she fits bi polar.

[maize]

And what is the deal with the hyper-sexuality? I think that can be a sign of bi polar.....but I am not sure she fits bi polar.

Yes, it can be a manic phase manifestation with bi-polar disorder.

 

I hope the professionals are able to help her.

 

Is there a psychiatrist involved or just the psychologist?

[Scarlett]

Yes, it can be a manic phase manifestation with bi-polar disorder.

 

I hope the professionals are able to help her.

 

Is there a psychiatrist involved or just the psychologist?

There is a psychiatrist also. Psychiatrist recommended the partial hospitalization program that the dad refused to go along with.

[Scarlett]

Yes, it can be a manic phase manifestation with bi-polar disorder.

 

I hope the professionals are able to help her.

 

Is there a psychiatrist involved or just the psychologist?

She doesn't seem manic to me. She seems cold as ice. Never speaks or communicates unless she is trying to get her way.

 

When her mom took her phone away this week she wrote her mom a hate letter blaming her mom for everything wrong.,....her mom woke her up for school and told her no matter what she loves her and wants what is best for her. Girl says, ' when do I get my phone back'. Mom told her no time soon, don't keep asking and the girl said she wasn't going to school then. Mom had to leave to take her other dd to school....so she said well you can deal with your stepdad then. Step dad said when he got ready to leav she was standing by the front door with her backpack and didn't say a word.

 

Definitely off.

[Catwoman]

I know you’re concerned about the girl, but the more you post about her, the more worried I am about the safety of everyone around her, particularly those boys that she stalked and threatened!

 

Is there any discussion about having her removed from that school and being admitted to a mental health facility? Quite honestly, she sounds dangerous, and she has victimized several boys. I hope they’re not going easy on her simply because she’s a petite girl. Petite girls can obtain and use weapons, too.

[Scarlett]

I know you’re concerned about the girl, but the more you post about her, the more worried I am about the safety of everyone around her, particularly those boys that she stalked and threatened!

 

Is there any discussion about having her removed from that school and being admitted to a mental health facility? Quite honestly, she sounds dangerous, and she has victimized several boys. I hope they’re not going easy on her simply because she’s a petite girl. Petite girls can obtain and use weapons, too.

I am with you. I think she needs inpatient treatment, probably long term. She needs to be detoxed from social media. Absent a court order the dad will never agree to inpatient ir no phone. . And since she is almost 17 the mom has no time to fight it in court. Everyone who can be involved and notified has been and is involved. It would take cps doing an emergency order. They can work faster than normal family court.

 

I am seeing up,close how difficult it is to get these mentally unstable kids help.

 

And if 8 boys are telling her to leave them alone can you imagine how many are going along with her sexual advances? That makes me feel sick because while yes she is aggressive she will still be harmed by that kind of activity.

[Katy]

Perhaps she'll contact one of the boys, get arrested, and get an amazing judge that will sentence her to inpatient treatment?

 

Wait, you're in a rural county, right?  Is this girl in a rural county too?  If people are pretty sure they know what the judge will do, the boys families as a group might decide it is best to press criminal charges to force her into treatment.  OTOH, if (s)he would just sentence her to a week in jail or something that might be counterproductive.

 

Perhaps her therapist will figure it out and recommend inpatient treatment to CPS, and they will ask a judge for it, and she'll get it.

 

 

Edited February 16, 2018 by Katy

[Scarlett]

Perhaps she'll contact one of the boys, get arrested, and get an amazing judge that will sentence her to inpatient treatment?

 

Wait, you're in a rural county, right? Is this girl in a rural county too? If people are pretty sure they know what the judge will do, the boys families as a group might decide it is best to press criminal charges to force her into treatment. OTOH, if (s)he would just sentence her to a week in jail or something that might be counterproductive.

 

Perhaps her therapist will figure it out and recommend inpatient treatment to CPS, and they will ask a judge for it, and she'll get it.

She is not in my state. She is far away from me and in a large city. Edited February 16, 2018 by Scarlett

[unsinkable]

I know you’re concerned about the girl, but the more you post about her, the more worried I am about the safety of everyone around her, particularly those boys that she stalked and threatened!

 

Is there any discussion about having her removed from that school and being admitted to a mental health facility? Quite honestly, she sounds dangerous, and she has victimized several boys. I hope they’re not going easy on her simply because she’s a petite girl. Petite girls can obtain and use weapons, too.

The

 

I agree.

 

Clearly, this girl needs help, to protect both herself and others.

[maize]

She doesn't seem manic to me. She seems cold as ice. Never speaks or communicates unless she is trying to get her way.

 

 

Have you seen her in person or are you going off second hand accounts?

 

Manic can look very different in different people.

 

But I have no idea if she is manic or not.

[Katy]

Hyper sexual behavior could also be a sign of a history of sexual abuse or a couple of personality disorders that she's not yet old enough to be diagnosed with.

[Scarlett]

Have you seen her in person or are you going off second hand accounts?

 

Manic can look very different in different people.

 

But I have no idea if she is manic or not.

I wont claim to know for sure if she is not manic. I Know it might look differently in her than it does in others. My brother displays manic behavior often, and although it can sneak up on me, I can always in hindsight say, 'oh duh! Manic!'

 

This girl, yes I have been around her many times and she seems flat and not manic at all. The only time she displays any uptick in communicating is when she is kept from getting her way. Like these boys telling her to leave them alone. Or her mom taking her phone. And then she can flip out. That is what landed her in the psych ward 3 years ago. She flipped out when her phon was taken away or something and police were called.

Edited February 16, 2018 by Scarlett

[Scarlett]

Hyper sexual behavior could also be a sign of a history of sexual abuse or a couple of personality disorders that she's not yet old enough to be diagnosed with.

I thought of this and talked to the mom about it. The problems have been going on so long it would probably have to be her dad and the mom doesn't believe that is likely. And trust me the mom hates the dad so bad if she had any inkling it was that she would point a finger. And of course you can't get the girl to talk at all...she would be highly unlikely to tell if it was going on.

[gardenmom5]

no experience with the program - but my sister used to make suicide threats for attention when she was a teen.   my parents were taking her to a counselor when she was a child - and she would lie.   she'd also forge her GS leaders signature to sign off on merit badges.

 

she did get married (pg, and didn't want to have a third abortion.)   pretty much been a sahm -  - but she's still married and both of their girls are out of the house and graduated from college.  she has mellowed over the years.   she would do all sorts of wild stuff - purely for attention.   including threatening me she was going to kill herself.   when she stopped being "rewarded" for it, it decreased significantly - but it had to be made not worth her while to pull stunts like that.   I do think it helped her when our personality disordered grandmother who loved to "rescue her" died.

[gardenmom5]

I thought of this and talked to the mom about it. The problems have been going on so long it would probably have to be her dad and the mom doesn't believe that is likely. And trust me the mom hates the dad so bad if she had any inkling it was that she would point a finger. And of course you can't get the girl to talk at all...she would be highly unlikely to tell if it was going on.

 

and larry nassar s3xually abused little  girls IN FRONT of their parents.   and the parents didn't believe it was likely.  

 

forget what she thinks of her ex- and she needs to pay attention to the daughter.   is the daughter capable of lying - given her history, probably.   but I wouldn't just brush it off.

[Scarlett]

and larry nassar s3xually abused little girls IN FRONT of their parents. and the parents didn't believe it was likely.

 

forget what she thinks of her ex- and she needs to pay attention to the daughter. is the daughter capable of lying - given her history, probably. but I wouldn't just brush it off.

WHat would you suggest she do? There is nothing she can do about it. And since the realities she knows about are enough to deal with there is no point in her obsessing over whether the girls dad molested her. She is in the hands of multiple professionals who can try to figure it out. I am sure it has crossed their minds ha could be going on with this girl.

[goldberry]

I am seeing up,close how difficult it is to get these mentally unstable kids help.

 

This.  And in less than a year no one will be able to do anything at all.

[Katy]

I thought of this and talked to the mom about it. The problems have been going on so long it would probably have to be her dad and the mom doesn't believe that is likely. And trust me the mom hates the dad so bad if she had any inkling it was that she would point a finger. And of course you can't get the girl to talk at all...she would be highly unlikely to tell if it was going on.

 

It wouldn't have to be her dad.  It could be an elder at church, it could have been another kid at a babysitter's.  I know one child that was repeatedly molested by the child of her babysitter - she was 2, he was 13.  She has no memory of the event, but has hyper sexualized behavior.  The only reason they know it was him was because another (older, verbal) child turned him in and witnessed it with the girl too. It could have been a kid at school or on the bus or in the park or at summer day camp.  She may have been raped as a 12 year old.

 

It also could be simply that her genetics made having a condition like this nearly inevitable, and she's only using sex to manipulate.

[Scarlett]

It wouldn't have to be her dad. It could be an elder at church, it could have been another kid at a babysitter's. I know one child that was repeatedly molested by the child of her babysitter - she was 2, he was 13. She has no memory of the event, but has hyper sexualized behavior. The only reason they know it was him was because another (older, verbal) child turned him in and witnessed it with the girl too. It could have been a kid at school or on the bus or in the park or at summer day camp. She may have been raped as a 12 year old.

 

It also could be simply that her genetics made having a condition like this nearly inevitable, and she's only using sex to manipulate.

I know it could be anyone. But they have never been in church....could be an uncle....not sure how much time she spent with him. She has been in public school since pre k and never rode a bus...always picked up. I don't think we will ever know unless there are multiple victims and a common name comes up. And like you say it could just be unrelated to abuse...just her way to manipulate. But she seems so desperate for boys attention.

[gardenmom5]

WHat would you suggest she do? There is nothing she can do about it. And since the realities she knows about are enough to deal with there is no point in her obsessing over whether the girls dad molested her. She is in the hands of multiple professionals who can try to figure it out. I am sure it has crossed their minds ha could be going on with this girl.

 

pray the dad continues to medically interfere and pisses off cps so they over rule him.

sounds like she would do well with inpatient care.

 

I do recall a doc on a couple of very antisocial brothers.   they put them in inpatient, where they did well.   then they put them back in the home - with unobtrusive cameras.  it was a parent, nothing overt, but it was how they treated the boys that was the source of it all.

[Scarlett]

pray the dad continues to medically interfere and pisses off cps so they over rule him.

sounds like she would do well with inpatient care.

 

I do recall a doc on a couple of very antisocial brothers. they put them in inpatient, where they did well. then they put them back in the home - with unobtrusive cameras. it was a parent, nothing overt, but it was how they treated the boys that was the source of it all.

Cps getting involved is the best thing that has happened so far. Never thought I would say that. Ironically it was the dad who called them trying to get the mom and step dad in trouble.

[gardenmom5]

Cps getting involved is the best thing that has happened so far. Never thought I would say that. Ironically it was the dad who called them trying to get the mom and step dad in trouble.

 

someone that malicious and manipulative is

 why he could well be the source of. all. of. it. for this girl.