How clean do you make your kids keep their rooms?

[meganrussell]

I think I have an unrealistic expectation for my children. I want clean rooms, toys organized, beds made daily, no dirty clothes or trash...no eating in rooms (we have carpet and are renting this house)...am I too strict? I love a clean house and don't function well when things are messy.

[OneStepAtATime]

How old are your kids?

[Guest]

Completely clean.

 

But there are no toys in there. And they have tents on their beds to hide the piles of books, journals, crayons and paper airplanes there, so I pretend not to see it.

 

They have to keep the toy/school room picked up but it can get to be a hot mess in no time flat, of course.

[meganrussell]

How old are your kids?

14, 12, 9, 7, and almost 5.

[Caroline]

Fire path to the door and windows

 

Unless my parents are coming to visit, then I spend lots of time making the rooms pristine.

[lllll]

nm

Edited July 25, 2017 by tentwelve

[caedmyn]

Sounds nice to me. I don't do well with clutter either. My 3 older boys share a room. There are no toys or books in their room (other than whatever little items they smuggle in in their pockets and 3 stuffed animals each) and it stays pretty neat. DD is a hoarder and her room is always a mess, in spite of my constant efforts to have her pick it up. There's always a trail of objects along the edges of the room, on every available surface, behind the bed, etc, not to mention dirty and clean clothes strewn around. Drives me batty.

[Rachel]

I want their rooms the way you describe. The reality is my room is downstairs and the kids is upstairs. My husband travels a lot. The 5 year old is a tornado and often gets out things that don't belong to him. I'm too tired at the end of the day to make them clean their rooms the way I want. So now the rule is I must be able to vacuum and about once a month we get it good and clean.

[Guinevere]

I don't function well when things are too messy either.  My solution was to put as few things as possible in my kids' rooms.  Our 2 sons shared a room, and our 3 daughters shared a room.  So the rooms were already crowded with beds.  Other than beds, when dc were small, they only had their clothes in their rooms.  Possibly a few stuffed animals that they slept with.

 

Even the clothes, though, weren't in traditional furniture.  I put all their clothes in the one closet in each room by using one, large laundry basket per child for non-hanging items, and hung as much as I possibly could.  Then, under that large laundry basket, I kept a large Rubbermaid container filled with off-season clothes.  Shoes and coats were kept near the outside doors.  This worked well for many years.

 

As they got older, they were able to keep more stuff in their rooms (they still shared rooms) and keep it neat.

 

I put all the toys in a central room and called it the "Toy Room".  We cleaned up that room about once a week or less.

 

Same, except we also have a family closet.  

[Butter]

However they want.  It's their rooms.  I don't have to go in them or really even look at them.  Usually, they keep their rooms pretty neat, but I don't make them clean them.

[zoobie]

Food on rented carpet would be a worthy fight.

 

The rest? Meh. I'm in the fire path unless we have company coming group.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Fire path to the door and windows

 

Unless my parents are coming to visit, then I spend lots of time making the rooms pristine.

 

Similar.

 

Adding in no food or drink dishes. I want no science projects growing under beds or in a dark corner.

 

 

We fully clean every so often due to allergies.

[mamaraby]

No eating except in the kitchen. Maintain a path for emergency escape and a clear path to your bed if you want me to tuck you in. Otherwise, that's why there are doors. I keep the public spaces neat and expect they be kept that way. Generally this means no toys/playing in the living room, but since they have a space in the basement to play and their bedrooms I think this is a fair rule.

 

Otherwise, they are in charge of their own space.

[nixpix5]

We do a full room clean/house clean every Saturday morning before having our family day activity. It doesn't get too messy through the week but it isn't clean. My kids tend toward order for the most part so if it gets too messy they pick up on their own. I have one who loves a daily made bed and the other two I don't push it since that would mean I would have to make mine daily ;)

[MaeFlowers]

I like the beds to be made daily. I like the floors to be clear. No food, no trash.

 

The only thing I am really a stickler about is the food. They tend to keep their rooms reasonably clean. Like Butter says, its not my room. If I cant stand it, I just close the door.

 

I dont like mess either. It can make me twitchy but I learned to get over it. For it to be as clean and organized as I would like, I would have to be on their *sses all the time. That just isn't the relationship I want with them.

[fairfarmhand]

Fire path to the door and windows

 

Unless my parents are coming to visit, then I spend lots of time making the rooms pristine.

 

(said with a heavy sigh)

 

Yeah.

 

Me too.

 

Not the way I want it, but this is a battle that I just can't deal with on a daily basis.

 

[Paige]

It depends on the child. Two of my DC keep their room clean enough on their own so I don't comment. They aren't completely perfect, but they are fine. One DD has a mess of a room. I usually make her clean it on the weekends. She can reasonably clean it on the weekends so I am ok with it. She's the youngest, though and her room is not a priority to me, nor are her habits. Before I can expect her to keep it clean, I need to go in and organize it- it's over cluttered and too young for her, and I think her mess is of the normal type. So, she's getting a pass. Her room is on my to do list to redecorate and when I do that I think it will be easier for her. 

 

My DS....he is the type to let his room get nasty. I make him keep it virtually spotless and inspect it every night. It's because I've learned over time that for him, personally, he can't handle "a little mess." It escalates quickly and he'll get overwhelmed. We are working on habit building and teaching him to "see" the mess before it gets out of control. His therapist said I was expecting too much, but I tried it her way and it was a disaster. And she says her own house is a mess and it's overwhelming, so IMO, her advice on this is suspect. I cleaned his room to my standards for him because he was overwhelmed. Then, every night after I go through it with him and tell him what needs to be done and help him pick it up to my standards. I am picky on purpose because it's a training exercise. It takes less than 5min if we do it every day. If I skip a day or two he gets anxious. I'm actually seeing progress with him starting to clean up before I get there and that's the goal- to get him to maintain his own habits and see the small messes before they become big for himself. 

 

I think it depends on the child's needs. FWIW, if DS wouldn't let his room literally become a health and safety hazard, and if it didn't result in him accidentally losing and breaking things important to him, and didn't result in a lot of increased anxiety for him, I might be willing to let him have his mess like I do with DD- but his way of dealing with things was not healthy.

 

 

Edited July 22, 2017 by Paige

[Rebel Yell]

Kids are 22, 17, & 15. I do not have, actually never have had, a perfectly clean room anywhere in the house. I wish I did, but it just doesn't happen here.

 

No food in the bedrooms other than water bottles. Trash cans get emptied on "Garbage Eve" or more often if its allergy season or cold season and they've gone through three boxes of tissues in a day. If they want the Benevolent Overlord to do their laundry, it needs to be in the hamper. If the Laundry Fairy sees clean laundry getting kicked around the floor then they will be kicked out of the Laundry Program.

 

I will not hear complaints if things are lost in the mess. 99% of the time, putting things all the way away makes "lost" items magically appear.

 

So basically, I'm not going to war over clutter, but filth is not tolerated.

[J-rap]

Our bedrooms are small and there were no other playrooms, so their rooms could get quite crowded and messy!  No food in rooms though, and dirty laundry had to be put in hampers every night.  Other than that, we cleaned them really well before guests (since they'd stay in the kids' rooms).  Once the kids were older they usually wanted a semi-clean room themselves.

[mytwomonkeys]

Their rooms look pretty spotless. But in honesty, I help clean them. They make their beds and put clothes away, etc. but I'm constantly tidying every part of the house, including their rooms.

[Scarlett]

I thought I answered this.....

 

No food or drink, ever. No dirty clothes on the floor. Bed made daily. Sheets change weekly. Dusted and swept/mopped as mom says.....surfaces decluttered.

[AimeeM]

I want bedrooms clean. Like, spotless. I like matching themes, hate cartoon or character bedding, want clothes in hampers, beds made, floors clean, etc.

 

However, I know this is unrealistic. About once monthly I indulge myself with my teenager's room -- because it's bad. Like really bad. She's an artsy, free-spirited mess, frankly. However, she keeps her door closed so I usually just ignore it.. but about once or twice monthly, I make her go downstairs while I clean it to my heart's content. If I recall, I was the same way as a teenager. Obviously I'm much different as an adult, but my room as a teenager was BAD BAD BAD.

 

I clean the boys' room. I make them "pick it up" so that I can pretend I'm teaching them to clean up after themselves, but they aren't capable of making the beds the way I prefer them made, so I re-make the beds after I require the boys "make" them first. 

 

In other words, it's okay to be unrealistic, as long as you don't push that over and onto everyone else. I know I'm unrealistic, so I take on that burden. 

[MaeFlowers]

I want bedrooms clean. Like, spotless. I like matching themes, hate cartoon or character bedding, want clothes in hampers, beds made, floors clean, etc.

 

However, I know this is unrealistic. About once monthly I indulge myself with my teenager's room -- because it's bad. Like really bad. She's an artsy, free-spirited mess, frankly. However, she keeps her door closed so I usually just ignore it.. but about once or twice monthly, I make her go downstairs while I clean it to my heart's content. If I recall, I was the same way as a teenager. Obviously I'm much different as an adult, but my room as a teenager was BAD BAD BAD.

 

I clean the boys' room. I make them "pick it up" so that I can pretend I'm teaching them to clean up after themselves, but they aren't capable of making the beds the way I prefer them made, so I re-make the beds after I require the boys "make" them first.

 

In other words, it's okay to be unrealistic, as long as you don't push that over and onto everyone else. I know I'm unrealistic, so I take on that burden.

Gently. Please don't redo what your kids have already done.

 

First off, I want to say that I completely get it. I want the beds to be made right and the towels folded a certain way. And, sometimes, watching my kids do things makes me cringe inside.

 

But, I had a Mom that would redo my work. It was disheartening for me. It made me feel not good enough in so many ways. Dh's mother was the same way. While I kept on trying, his response was to give up. He became a total slob because, well, why bother when someone will come along and do it again, anyway? YK?

 

I didn't want my dc to feel that way so I changed my tune. I embrace the imperfect and leave it be. They're young and they're trying. Their beds may not be perfect but the smiles of pride they give me when they do **their** best are so worth it. They feel good about themselves. I love that.

Edited July 22, 2017 by MaeFlowers

[displace]

For us-

No food in bedrooms. Garbages emptied when full. Occasional clothes picked up off floor for laundry (weekly?). General toy cleaning only every 1-2 weeks but they don't often play in their rooms so it's always walkable. Beds are made after I change the sheets.

[SparklyUnicorn]

So long as there isn't rotting food...I'm good.

 

I gave up on that dream long ago.  LOL

 

 

[marbel]

So long as there isn't rotting food...I'm good.

 

I gave up on that dream long ago.  LOL

 

That's pretty much where I am.    Along with no wet towels.  

 

I mostly stay out of my kids' rooms. I do into my daughter's sometimes for hangers. She never thinks to bring empty hangers to the laundry room.  

 

It would be lovely to see uncluttered floors and well-made beds.  Though honestly I don't get why so many people make a big deal out of a perfectly-made bed.  I agree ti looks nicer. But I have known people who were really fussy about getting it just perfect. Yet, it only lasts a day.  When we stay with my in-laws I spend so much time every morning getting the bed made just right that I often wish we had brought sleeping bags so the beds wouldn't get messed up. (Of course that would present a different problem. LOL)

[sgo95]

Their rooms are very clean.  They share rooms and all toys are in the playroom closet downstairs.  But my kids are naturally pretty tidy and are compliant when I ask them to tidy up (once a day, usually before bedtime).

[hepatica]

(said with a heavy sigh)

 

Yeah.

 

Me too.

 

Not the way I want it, but this is a battle that I just can't deal with on a daily basis.

 

 

This is me exactly, especially with the teens. I figure they are going to do things I don't like, so it might as well be a messy room and staying up too late. There are lots of worse ways to rebel. I make token suggestions so that they can ignore them and fulfill their need to do their own thing.

 

Oh, and when I unload the dishwasher and the shelves are still empty I make a big fuss about getting all the plates and glasses back downstairs.

 

If I really need them cleaned for company, I just threaten to take away the phones ... 

 

Great parenting.....

[linders]

:lol:  :lol:

 

Okay, I've stopped laughing. I discourage food in rooms, but don't ban unless goopy/sticky. No drinks except water. And dirty dishes must come out to kitchen or full food ban goes in place. Every two weeks the floor must be cleared completely to vacuum (which gets toys, books, etc put away). If you want clothes washed, they must be in hamper. I don't pick up clothes even if they are right beside the hamper. If you have "lost" something (e.g., your favorite earbuds), I will only help look if your room is first picked up (which invariably reveals the "lost" item.) Bed gets made when you put clean sheets on (every couple of 1-2 weeks).

 

The absolute best cleanup strategy? Encourage friends to come over. Some of the friends have maids (don't get me started) so their house looks "perfect" which my guys admire. The DSs are a flurry of activity when friends are coming over. This summer has been awesome - DS14 has become part of a card game group, and the guys are here twice a week. Apparently, DS does not want them to see his dirty clothes lying about.

[lllll]

nm

Edited July 25, 2017 by tentwelve

[Tess in the Burbs]

Let it go. I used to try and make them clean but I was causing too much stress in our lives about it. I do ask for a path from the bed to the door. They do need to vacuum twice a month. I do a major tidy myself once a year.

 

It bugs me, but the conflict was ruining relationships and it's their room. I learned to let it go. It was difficult lol. Worth it though

[foxbridgeacademy]

More so when they were younger, I would go and help them clean at least once a week.  Now that they are all teens I require dirty dishes and all food items to be returned to the kitchen within 48 hours and that I not be able to smell anything when I stand outside their doors.