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Hilltopmom

Ouch, some hard time management lessons being learned...

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this week at my house.

 

First semester that ds is enrolled in multiple outside courses.

 

Your DE coding project, even if "easy" for you, may take lots & lots of hours to complete.

 

Maybe, just maybe - you should've listened to your mom when she suggested getting it done a month ago, or even last week, instead of just getting daily work done each day, then spending your evenings & weekends gaming.

 

And you do need to set aside a good chunk of time to study for ALL your final exams, not just the day before them!

 

Tempers running kinda high over here right now when I just told him he should skip a few evening events this week to, gee, I dunno- get everything done well.

 

Had to come vent , people.

Thanks.

Hopefully this skill will be mastered by the time he goes off to college. Very glad we started outsourcing this year.

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Hugs. Definitely still learning it here. Some temper meltdowns (hers, not mine). Should have learned this adds already, but have had multiple nights this week (and we aren't done yet) where I have calmly responded to the screaming by pointing out that her procrastination is not my emergency.

 

This is our first year with more than two online/outside classes. The one perk of multiple providers is that mid terms are not all at the exact same time (spread out over 8-10 days).

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I just got told that this last minute rush/ stress is "my fault"... Can't quite figure out the logic on that one, but when he feels cornered or piled up with work- he lashes out. Sigh.

 

I'm trying to stay out of his way & feed him plenty, but still make sure he's getting it all done (since I'm footing the bill for all these classes & at this point grades all affect college admissions).

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Mine is only in seventh, but it's been a crazy week here too. Three semester exams, two writing assignments, plus regular classwork in other subjects, and on top of that she has to be at the theater for 5 hours each night for Nutcracker rehearsals. We have had several discussions about priorities (and that during weeks like this, keeping up on social media is NOT one of them!). Can't wait until break starts... we are all sooo ready!!!

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Hilltopmom - how old is your procrastinator? Sounds like the same one in my house. Let's leave 100 pages to read for a biology book analysis until the day the essay is due at 7pm.... so finish reading and then write a 5-para essay. *rolls eyes* sheesh. We're there right with you.

 

Oh yes and the eating - when there's a backlash, it's always after the fact, sheepishly, "I'm hungry..." Ah teenagers!

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ugh yeah...I have been downright nasty getting on my kid...did you do your math...did you do your math...show me..show me what you have done

 

because I know that'll happen otherwise

 

he's taking a programming class next semester that he thinks is too easy...I'm sure it'll be the same deal

 

 

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Although to be fair and honest...I wasn't much different.  In my defense, however, I also had 100,000 more responsibilities when I was in school than my kid does.

 

 

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Another perspective- I am frustrated that my ds did not learn this lesson his first semester of de he just completed.After all my warnings that he would have to work harder, plan ahead, study daily, etc. he managed easily with his his procrastinating ways. So now I look like so really don't know what I am talking about. Hopefully his classes will be harder next semester. It is a valuable lesson to learn.

 

I feel for you, OP, but I am just a bit jealous!

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Another perspective- I am frustrated that my ds did not learn this lesson his first semester of de he just completed.After all my warnings that he would have to work harder, plan ahead, study daily, etc. he managed easily with his his procrastinating ways. So now I look like so really don't know what I am talking about. Hopefully his classes will be harder next semester. It is a valuable lesson to learn.

 

I am in your shoes. I get on her case about how she has to plan her time and study for tests... and then somehow she managed to do none of these things and still get by with reasonable grades. So now she's totally convinced that I have no idea what I'm talking about, and she can do pretty much absolutely nothing and still skate on by. Gaaaaaah.

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I've let DS miss deadlines. IIRC, it only happened once. Luckily, it was a low stakes assignment but seeing a zero when he normally gets full points made a big impact. :D

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Yeah I work 10x harder and we get the same results.  I don't know what is up with that.  LOL

 

Age. :lol:

 

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Um yeah, so turns out he got 100% on yesterday's programming final & he is now finished the "big project".

 

It came out really good & he went way above & beyond the requirements...he could've mentioned that to me when he was spending so much time on it & I was freaking out that it wouldn't be done on time.

 

He's 16.

 

He gets to go out to DnD tonight afterall.

 

But physics final still this weekend & much more studying needs to happen for that. Tomorrow :)

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I think some kids really do their best work at the last minute. I was a lot like that (although I tried not to). I think my DS is a mix of needing to be last minute and not (the latter is especially when an essay is due).

 

Congrats to your DS, Hilltopmom!

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Mine is only in seventh, but it's been a crazy week here too. Three semester exams, two writing assignments, plus regular classwork in other subjects, and on top of that she has to be at the theater for 5 hours each night for Nutcracker rehearsals. We have had several discussions about priorities (and that during weeks like this, keeping up on social media is NOT one of them!). Can't wait until break starts... we are all sooo ready!!!

We feel the same. DS completed CLRC exam today, which, I couldn't believe, included an essay, an actual essay writing. He is cramming for physics test, but WWS homework and Socratic homework is getting in the way. No math has gotten done here in three days and that's suppose to be his favorite subject. I will dance on Saturday morning, unless he chooses to do the test on Saturday, in which case I will salsa on Sunday morning.

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I think some kids really do their best work at the last minute. I was a lot like that (although I tried not to). I think my DS is a mix of needing to be last minute and not (the latter is especially when an essay is due).

 

Congrats to your DS, Hilltopmom!

Unfortunately, this is true in my house too. I need the stress/adrenaline of a deadline to get into focus mode. Sometimes I wonder if I have mild ADHD, actually. And dd12 is the same way. The pre-teen brain melt on top of that is not helping things either! But yet she is still doing very well. *sigh*

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We feel the same. DS completed CLRC exam today, which, I couldn't believe, included an essay, an actual essay writing. He is cramming for physics test, but WWS homework and Socratic homework is getting in the way. No math has gotten done here in three days and that's suppose to be his favorite subject. I will dance on Saturday morning, unless he chooses to do the test on Saturday, in which case I will salsa on Sunday morning.

 

Aw, I hope you guys can celebrate afterwards...it's such a busy time for our kids! I feel so helpless seeing DS with the deadlines. But it's also a great learning experience.

 

DS did not do much math the entire semester! We had planned this so no worries. It's something that had to be done to help him fulfill his dreams next year.

 

Mine completes all fall semester finals tomorrow and then flies internationally with his dad in the evening to visit extended family. I have to stay back due to other commitments so will salsa alone with my dogs and great big helpings of ice cream. 

 

Wishing everyone's kids the very best!

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I've let DS miss deadlines. IIRC, it only happened once. Luckily, it was a low stakes assignment but seeing a zero when he normally gets full points made a big impact. :D

 

My ds missed a low stakes assignment just b/c he forgot. Yes, helicopter mom that I am thought he still wasn't terribly impacted by it - so I emailed the teacher (online provider) and asked if she would email him to be timely in his assignments and not to be late again. She did, and that was rather impactful. :D

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My ds missed a low stakes assignment just b/c he forgot. Yes, helicopter mom that I am thought he still wasn't terribly impacted by it - so I emailed the teacher (online provider) and asked if she would email him to be timely in his assignments and not to be late again. She did, and that was rather impactful. :D

That is awesome! I may steal this idea :)

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I think some kids really do their best work at the last minute. I was a lot like that (although I tried not to). I think my DS is a mix of needing to be last minute and not (the latter is especially when an essay is due).

 

Congrats to your DS, Hilltopmom!

 

The trouble with this is it works well, until it doesn't.

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This thread is kind of cracking me up because I know personally of one online teacher who really, really, REALLY needs to write said exam since it is to be released to the students tomorrow and instead she is on the WTM forum reading about peppermint mousse parfaits (see Southern Living Cookbook thread on Chat Board). 

 

And planning next year's curriculum for her then-to-be 2nd grader.  :laugh:

 

And looking at boots on LL Bean since I got a gift card there today and I need to spend it NOW. 

 

Etc. 

 

Honestly, my brain gets so frazzled dazzled this time of year...it is a wonder that I get anything done. My kids are the same way.

 

:grouphug:  to all of us moms and our kids and YAY for next week when it will all be done! And we can eat peppermint mousse and research writing curriculum until our hearts are content! 

 

 

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I have one DS who waaaaay overestimates his ability to complete longer term projects on time. He will find everything else in life so much more important than parceling out X amount of time over X amount of days so he's not cramming at the last minute.

 

Lists have saved my relationship with him. Hand him the list, get out of the way and let him figure out what to do when.

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My DS likes to work under pressure and leaves assignments not exactly until last minute, but so late that he has to do a very late night on the evening before they are due. He says he works best that way. (DD with her work load at her school has no choice but to pull all nighters in finals week - but DS has plenty of time.)

I don't get it. I'd much rather be done early. But he gets good results.

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That is awesome! I may steal this idea :)

 

It won't work with DE profs though!

 

The trouble with this is it works well, until it doesn't.

 

I agree. I don't have better ideas so I have decided to let him figure it out.

 

This thread is kind of cracking me up because I know personally of one online teacher who really, really, REALLY needs to write said exam since it is to be released to the students tomorrow and instead she is on the WTM forum reading about peppermint mousse parfaits (see Southern Living Cookbook thread on Chat Board).

 

Will check out that thread! :D Dessert always comes first!

 

Lists have saved my relationship with him. Hand him the list, get out of the way and let him figure out what to do when.

 

Yes, we are starting to see lots of successful time management thanks to lists. It makes me so happy to see DS come to the fridge where the family master plan is (simple Excel spreadsheet that I make up every 2 months) to check off things he's finished. I know it sounds like he is a box checker but the boxes he is checking are all interesting, challenging ones so it's all good. In the future, if there's a zombie apocalypse and we don't know who's who, all I need to do is produce a list of to-do's. The zombie that checks them off with most gusto will be my kid!

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(**I messed up quoting here, but was referring to the idea up thread about having teacher remind student not to be late...)

 

"It won't work with DE profs though!"

 

 

oh, yeah, that's true.

 

But maybe with a certain physics teacher who's reading along here & procrastinating herself ;)

Edited by Hilltopmom
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The trouble with this is it works well, until it doesn't.

Or you find that the only jobs you enjoy are the high adrenaline last minute rush kind.

 

But maybe with a certain physics teacher who's reading along here & procrastinating herself ;)

:lol: On the bright side, my kid who took her class in 2015/16 remembered enough a few months later when I made him do a SAT physics diagnostic test from Barron's (library copy) just to estimate test prep requirement. Less test prep time required is always nice. My kid didn't want to DE early because of permanent grades and all of us are down with winter allergies so it's a good thing none of his outside classes are for grades. Hubby's office pantry has stocked up on Kleenex.

 

The local libraries are staying open later for exam cram week providing snacks and therapy dogs.

"The library & Teen Center will have space for high school students studying for finals.

Must show valid student ID.

We'll provide snacks and activities to de-stress in between studying including visits from therapy dogs. "

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Unfortunately, this is true in my house too. I need the stress/adrenaline of a deadline to get into focus mode. Sometimes I wonder if I have mild ADHD, actually. And dd12 is the same way. The pre-teen brain melt on top of that is not helping things either! But yet she is still doing very well. *sigh*

 

I resemble this remark.  I guess I don't have to wonder where dd gets it from... Sigh...   :leaving:

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yes but hoping to nip it in the bud now before we head down that primrose DE path... ;-)

 

:thumbup:

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Dealing with procrastinating kids is hands-down my least favorite thing about homeschooling. The drama that ensues when I have to "force" a deadline!! I hate it!!

 

 

I think some kids really do their best work at the last minute. I was a lot like that (although I tried not to). I think my DS is a mix of needing to be last minute and not (the latter is especially when an essay is due).

 

 

Agreed. I was like this. I still AM like this. If I spread work out too much, I lose my focus and it becomes a big, soggy mess. Leave it to the last minute? That's when the magic happens!!! :Angel_anim:

 

Unfortunately for 2/3 my kids - who have grown up WATCHING me do JUST this thing - THEY do not have that last-minute magic. But they still think they can leave things to the last minute. :ack2:  But their last-minute attempts are muddy and they KNOW they do better work when they pace themselves. And yet... :banghead:

 

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I am in your shoes. I get on her case about how she has to plan her time and study for tests... and then somehow she managed to do none of these things and still get by with reasonable grades. So now she's totally convinced that I have no idea what I'm talking about, and she can do pretty much absolutely nothing and still skate on by. Gaaaaaah.

Yes. Next semester ds will have 3 classes instead of two and theoretically they should be harder. I have already started my "next semester will be harder " speeches. I should just give that up. He will see. I am one that likes my kids to experience some challenge while still in my home. DE grades are forever but he could experience much more challenge without getting terrible grades.

 

He is 16 and always has been reluctant/difficult to homeschool. His observation following a semester of de was "I realized I am actually very smart and things that are hard for other people just aren't that hard for me". I am glad for he confidence boost but that wasn't really the takeaway I was looking for. 16 yo boys!!

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I just got told that this last minute rush/ stress is "my fault"... Can't quite figure out the logic on that one, but when he feels cornered or piled up with work- he lashes out. Sigh.

 

I'm trying to stay out of his way & feed him plenty, but still make sure he's getting it all done (since I'm footing the bill for all these classes & at this point grades all affect college admissions).

very much a teenage boy response - I get that all the time 

 

after the dust settles and the semester is complete and before all the grades  -  I would have a frank discussion with him about this matter and the reality of "stepping it up" for college level courses.

 

In the end, he is responsible for his grades, etc.

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Yes. Next semester ds will have 3 classes instead of two and theoretically they should be harder. I have already started my "next semester will be harder " speeches. I should just give that up. He will see. I am one that likes my kids to experience some challenge while still in my home. DE grades are forever but he could experience much more challenge without getting terrible grades.

 

He is 16 and always has been reluctant/difficult to homeschool. His observation following a semester of de was "I realized I am actually very smart and things that are hard for other people just aren't that hard for me". I am glad for he confidence boost but that wasn't really the takeaway I was looking for. 16 yo boys!!

 

Mine is a 16yo girl (well, she turns 16 in a couple of days...), but similar.  She's not so vocal about it, but I'm pretty sure she's thinking it.  :glare:   Too smart for her own britches, I say...

 

This semester she has so-called "College" Chemistry and US History, which apparently I did such a super-kadooper-awesome job of teaching at home that it's all review and she can just show up and mail it in.  :glare:   Her third class is Intro to Computer Graphics (Illustrator and InDesign), and that's the only class she's worked hard at.

 

Next semester she'll be up to four classes, including two that might (might?) require her to write something (Eng 101 and Intro to Business).  She also has a one-credit fifth class that's tied to Intro Business that's basically Study Skills.  Maaaaybe hearing it from someone else will work???  (Rather doubt it, but I guess hearing it yet again from someone other than me can't hurt, right?)  

 

I did get her to do some writing this semester via two Bravewriter classes, which were great, but I have to say that she wrote the papers sometime after midnight on the day they were due (apparently the teacher didn't mind if they were in the next morning) - and actually she did get I think two extensions as well, and they still gave her an A+, so I'm not sure any lessons about spreading the work out were learned there... sigh...  And yes, I'm sure for years she's been watching me procrastinate and pull things out of my hat at the very last minute... such a bad role model!!!  :leaving:   The weird thing is, it's sooooo much more stressful watching someone else procrastinate than doing it yourself! 

Edited by Matryoshka
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We are dealing with this very thing. I even had him watch the TED talk with the monkey. It helps me to use the phrase "Is your monkey taking over?" because it makes me smile and I tend to yell less when I smile;-)

 

Dealing with procrastinating kids is hands-down my least favorite thing about homeschooling. The drama that ensues when I have to "force" a deadline!! I hate it!!

 

 

 

Agreed. I was like this. I still AM like this. If I spread work out too much, I lose my focus and it becomes a big, soggy mess. Leave it to the last minute? That's when the magic happens!!! :Angel_anim:

 

Unfortunately for 2/3 my kids - who have grown up WATCHING me do JUST this thing - THEY do not have that last-minute magic. But they still think they can leave things to the last minute. :ack2: But their last-minute attempts are muddy and they KNOW they do better work when they pace themselves. And yet... :banghead:

This. Only one of mine may have the gift/curse, lol, and even still, is not skilled in it.

 

This year has made me weary. I am seriously considering recording myself on my phone and playing it back to them:

 

"Is your work done?"

"Completely done?"

"Done correctly?"

"Show me."

"'Because it is' is not an acceptable response for high school work."

 

There are plenty more:-)

 

I do need to revisit the idea of lists, though. My freshman still needs the structure.

 

Anyway, solidarity sister. :D

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Your DE coding project, even if "easy" for you, may take lots & lots of hours to complete.

 

I'm a computer science/IT professor with 17+ years of community college teaching experience and don't I know! I always warn them over and over that development, even using the Adobe CC products for web design, takes TIME. Always allow much more than you think because the end point is unpredictable.

 

In graduate school it was not uncommon to spend 30-40 hours a week coding and testing for a single class, and I had two undergraduate classes like that in my senior year (compilers and operating systems).

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We are dealing with this very thing. I even had him watch the TED talk with the monkey. It helps me to use the phrase "Is your monkey taking over?" because it makes me smile and I tend to yell less when I smile;-)

 

I need a link to the TED talk with the monkey!  

 

This. Only one of mine may have the gift/curse, lol, and even still, is not skilled in it.

 

 

Yeah... I may be a bit better at the last minute pulling-it-out-of-my-hat thing than dd is.  Hence the C+ last semester.  If she's going to operate this way, she needs to make sure she can actually pull it off all the way...

 

This year has made me weary. I am seriously considering recording myself on my phone and playing it back to them:

 

"Is your work done?"

"Completely done?"

"Done correctly?"

"Show me."

"'Because it is' is not an acceptable response for high school work."

 

There are plenty more:-)

 

 

Argh.  Dd has a DO math class this year as well.  I kept wondering why he'd only graded the first chapter, when she'd done three more (I scan them and she turns them in).  I kept asking if she'd sent the stuff.  She said she had.  I started asking to see the sent receipts.  NO.  I DID IT.  STOP BUGGING ME.  More time passes, I finally lose it and tell her she can't to X till I see the sent receipts (big yelling match).  OH.  Oops.  She hadn't sent them.  Yeah, I knew that.  I told her from now on she has to BCC me on everything she sends him, so I know she actually sent it.  (She had been asked but refused to do this before - NO. TRUST ME.  Um, no.).

 

I do need to revisit the idea of lists, though. My freshman still needs the structure.

 

Anyway, solidarity sister.  :D

 

 

I know she'd bristle at lists because we haven't had them in a while and she's sooooo independent now...  :001_rolleyes:  but maybe I should try to re-introduce them too...  

 

It's good to know I'm not alone (even though I wouldn't wish this obstinate teen hubris on anyone else...)

Edited by Matryoshka
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Last day before Christmas break here, so we are going over all of our work and wrapping things up. Only one outsourced class here, and she had done well keeping up with that one and most of her daily at home subjects.

 

BUT last day... I needed to see her notes for her ongoing report and she needed to complete the lesson on organizing her notecards. The project is going into next semester, so that's it. Just show me the notes you have been taking all week. She claims there are about 10 notecards completed so far, so she needs to have a bit more time today for reading and notes. Fine. but it has to be done today.

 

What's this? You tucked the first 5 notes into one of your library books and now can't find that library book? And you spent 45 minutes "searching" your room instead of reading a chapter in another of the 80 books you have checked out on the subject. So now after 45 min you have 5 notecards from one book that you know of to show me. And you have 10-15 cards due today. And it's time to move on to another subject to get everything done today and wrapped up for Christmas.

 

Sigh.  I am glad it's not just my house.

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I need a link to the TED talk with the monkey!

 

 

Yeah... I may be a bit better at the last minute pulling-it-out-of-my-hat thing than dd is. Hence the C+ last semester. If she's going to operate this way, she needs to make sure she can actually pull it off all the way...

 

 

Argh. Dd has a DO math class this year as well. I kept wondering why he'd only graded the first chapter, when she'd done three more (I scan them and she turns them in). I kept asking if she'd sent the stuff. She said she had. I started asking to see the sent receipts. NO. I DID IT. STOP BUGGING ME. More time passes, I finally lose it and tell her she can't to X till I see the sent receipts (big yelling match). OH. Oops. She hadn't sent them. Yeah, I knew that. I told her from now on she has to BCC me on everything she sends him, so I know she actually sent it. (She had been asked but refused to do this before - NO. TRUST ME. Um, no.).

 

 

I know she'd bristle at lists because we haven't had them in a while and she's sooooo independent now... :001_rolleyes: but maybe I should try to re-introduce them too...

 

It's good to know I'm not alone (even though I wouldn't wish this obstinate teen hubris on anyone else...)

Ah yes, DO Math!- your math is not DONE until you SUBMIT it!!!!! We've had this conversation quite a few times too :)

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You are not alone. :svengo:

 

Ds had to miss class to spend 6 hours stuffing envelopes at the very last minute because he missed other volunteer opportunities earlier in the year. He's required to have 20 hours per semester of volunteer work. I kept telling him to check the school website because there were approved opportunities. So I let one slide. I was done reminding him. :toetap05: 

 

He already has a plan for next semester. Stuffing envelopes wasn't that bad, they even served donuts, but there are many other volunteer opportunities he would much rather do. 

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Ah yes, DO Math!- your math is not DONE until you SUBMIT it!!!!! We've had this conversation quite a few times too :)

I make one kid check that his WTMA German homework status said submitted every time he submit because Windows 10 can be cranky. We had that issue once with CTY for my kids and it is a Windows 8 and our cranky internet router issue. My oldest had managed to finish the wrong week of aops math homework in the past and ended up finishing the correct week homework in one evening. It is like he was supposed to finish week 9 and he went and finished week 10 but week 9 was incomplete :P

 

We have Qustodio installed on younger boy's laptop recently because his laptop tends to be cranky. Some gaming sites are not where he went because I was next to him all the time he was using his laptop that day so his laptop would need to be reformatted soon. For example he did not go to Facebook but there was a Facebook visit (not login) timestamp so somehow a Facebook page loaded in the background and we didn't notice it. My oldest has an identical laptop and his is more stable.

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 it's sooooo much more stressful watching someone else procrastinate than doing it yourself! 

 

:iagree:  :iagree:

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Today's lesson:

 

Your internet may go out at home, causing mom to load you & all the little ones in the van to drive to campus so you can upload a final project, that then might not upload on campus because of file size....

Good thing it's not due tonight.

Email to professor pending.

 

Geez, I may not survive the stress.

 

I didn't even have to say "I told you so"

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Today's lesson:

 

Your internet may go out at home, causing mom to load you & all the little ones in the van to drive to campus so you can upload a final project, that then might not upload on campus because of file size....

Good thing it's not due tonight.

Email to professor pending.

 

Geez, I may not survive the stress.

 

I didn't even have to say "I told you so"

 

Yeah, this is the sort of thing that can be bad - I had a grad student friend years ago who was dinged a whole letter grade on an important assignment because of computer troubles on the day.  In his case he finished on time, he just didn't print it out.  But I've had some scares with that sort of things.

 

And I encountered subjects as time went on that didn't respond well to last moment work, like university level languages.  Te lack of a good habit was something I seriously regretted.

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My rule on assignments that have to be uploaded is to remember to have them done in time to initiate the emergency plan if we have tech issues.  

 

But until the crisis occurs it is likely just mom being a nutter again.  LOL

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My rule on assignments that have to be uploaded is to remember to have them done in time to initiate the emergency plan if we have tech issues.

 

But until the crisis occurs it is likely just mom being a nutter again. LOL

My rule is that online assignments for our family are due in 24 hours before the teacher's due date. Can you guess how that came about?

 

((Hugs)) we're on your side!!

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