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The non-existent wish list


Joyofsixreboot
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Mine are like that.  I already asked them to start on their "letters to Santa", and the younger boys listed about 8 different plush toys.  I've been trying to cull plush toys, and I know they would wind up feeling bummed if they didn't have ANY variety on Christmas morning, so I'm only going to try to track down 1 or 2 each.

 

I have been taking notes on my phone whenever any of the kids mentions something cool in conversation.  They range from Legos to fuzzy jammy pants to book titles/series, and a bunch of neat things between.  I think my younger ones just brain fart when put on the spot, and my older ones feel weird asking me for specific gifts.  Sly note jotting for the win!

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Sagg I think felt virtuous for asking for "nothing"for gifts. His reasoning was that he had spending money and he could buy whatever he wanted, so there was no need for gifts. I had a chat with him about allowing others to give to you, and being a graceful recipient.

I'm a bad gift , too, and he was stressing me out. 

I also explained that all those things he was saving up for ARE his wish list. He had never thought of it that way. Suddenly, he had lots of things he wanted. 

As much as I hate the greed and commercialism of our holidays, I encourage my boys to start thinking about gifts well in advance. It takes them quite a long time to come up with a few reasonable options. 

Aries tends to say that he likes to be surprised a and he will be happy with whatever we choose. Which is a lovely sentiment, but supremely unhelpful.

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Ours are 17 and 20.  It's been quite a few years since their lists included much besides money.  We do try to get a couple of little things to have under the tree, but neither DH nor I are good gift buyers.  It almost (but not really) makes me wish we had a family culture of giving socks, pajamas or underwear. ;)

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One thing that has helped is explaining that a wishlist is not an order form. THey don't have to limit themselves. They can ask for anything, big or small. They likely won't get what they ask for, but they will get something they will like. THey often exclaim over the gifts they receive that they didn't even know were a thing. 
This year, they are asking for things like chocolate bars, Goldfish crackers, and Combos snack crackers, and candy coal. 

 

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Same sort of thing here. Or they end up asking for stuff that I know they'll never really use. (Why oh why did I buy my 12 year old a didgeridoo last year for Christmas???)

 

I have to keep asking and prodding until I eventually come up with something I can get them. I sent my oldest son onto thinkgeek.com and told him to pick stuff. He did and I'll think he'll be happy with some of the things he picked.

 

The big gift for them is this pop bed tent. https://www.privacypop.com

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One child wants a book on animal tracks and signs, like scat. ("Would you like to go out in the woods and look at real animal tracks?" "No! Ewww.").

 

11 year old wants YouTube recording stuff. Even though she is too young for a YouTube account.

 

The kitten may get the lion's share of gifts this year.

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I have my children maintain their own wish lists on Amazon. They visit them every so often and delete things they have gotten or no longer want and add things as they think of them. They have a lot of family that wants to give them gifts, having a list to refer to is a courtesy to these people. :)

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DH has been unemployed the last six months so I asked my kids to make a wishlist of only 3 things they would be happy with if those where the only things they got.

 

DD listed things that are all impossible to find...the only one I managed to find was $60... for a stuffed cat!!!!! Eek. I feel obligated to get it as its the only thing on her list I can find and the boys got all three of their wish list items.

 

DS8 thank goodness has never been into stuff. He requested 3 small things I had already bought ...Yay for kids who never change their minds

 

DS6 is super specific. it must be exactly right on every specification and I must not deviate from the list. Of course he managed to pick a hard to find ( which I fluked finding at a sale) and expensive things that dont usually go on sale much. He is my easiest to buy for because he always has a running list of things he wants and lets me know (every time we go to the shops...no substitutes accepted) and yet when we visited Santa and Santa asked him what he wanted he said "I don't know" LOL

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Mine usually has an ongoing list of things he wants to buy, he moved some of that to his wish list this year. Generally $ is the best gift as he fluctuates on what he wants to buy.

 

Food is always welcome though.

My 11 & 14 yo worked this summer. I think they each spent about $20. I may resort to movie cards, laser tag, ice skating and sky zone groupons. They didn't ask but they would like all those things.
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That's why we do the something to read, something you need, something to wear, and something to share. Plus one want. It helps them focus and narrow it down. And still meep it not overbearing.

My kids will be 11 just before Christmas.

 

I just bought two really useful boxes at staples today for my 10yo for his need. He likes to keep his old magazines and the 9l containers are perfect for it. His current box is overflowing.

 

Another one needs a water bottle, and another some bigger rollerblading pads that aren't falling apart.

 

Their reads are An Animal Ark book, a Lego ninja go dictionary and a tbd.

 

Wears are an Eeyore tshirt, minion pjs, and a tshirt with his favorite stuffed animals picture on it

 

Shares are perplexed, seven wonders and pandemic

 

Wants are an ugly doll each.

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We had a lot of work teaching my brother (now 31) to make lists. He was the want nothing/need nothing kid, and his hobbies were fairly inexpensive and "gift stuff" free. It took most if middle and high school to convince him that people were going to buy him Christmas gifts anyway, and we all appreciated some guidance. He definitely didn't get the joy of giving and being a graceful recipient part.

 

I will say he is well trained now and makes awesome Christmas lists, which he even sends out well before the holidays so we can keep our eyes out for the more esoteric requests. Training works! :-)

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Dd gave me a very specific, handwritten list today, titled "My Christmas List".  She wants 2 cardboard boxes, each 5' tall, a roll of purple duct tape, and a pack of butterfly stickers.  She plans to make a play house. 

 

The last four cardboard boxes that came into the house became a doll house. 

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My girls were asked at the family thanksgiving. They answered...

Oldest- socks

Middle-frozen baby mice (she received a snake this week)

Youngest- fruity pebbles

 

So I told the family there would be an Amazon wish list. Then I filled it with cool things my kids never see but would like. Mainly games, science activities, art kits, and new books. Legos are a good fall back.

Edited by reign
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I typically start with the guidelines - something to wear, something to read, and something to play with.

 

Then I get stocking stuffers and new (coordinating) pajamas for everyone to open on Christmas Eve.  Mostly for pretty pictures in the morning.

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Dd gave me a very specific, handwritten list today, titled "My Christmas List".  She wants 2 cardboard boxes, each 5' tall, a roll of purple duct tape, and a pack of butterfly stickers.  She plans to make a play house. 

 

The last four cardboard boxes that came into the house became a doll house. 

 

That's so cute.  I'd take her to Ana White's website and help make one out of wood!

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Finally got mine to give me some ideas today. I always have them add things to a Pinterest board that is specifically for their list. It makes it easy when I shop because I can open the app and see exactly what they want and where it is.

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Anybody else have kids who do this? I'm a horrible gift giver. I need their help. Wah!

My daughter does this! In fact, her birthday money is still sitting in my account. She doesn't want the money 'mixed in' with her own money, so I'm just holding on to it until she sees something she loves.

 

Ds is the complete opposite. In fact, it's him I thought this thread was about: I use the non-existent wish list as a coping strategy when he starts to obsess about stuff he wants. I say, "I'll put it on your birthday list". And when he carries on, "I already put it on your birthday list". No such list actually exists, and he usually forgets in a week or so. If he remembers after a few months it might actually be in the running as a birthday gift. He's strongly swayed by advertisements still.

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